Western Poison

Part

1: Who Am I?

Lately, I keep having the same dream, filled with so many people, a chaotic jumble.

How chaotic? Extremely chaotic.

Those faces all seem so familiar, like stories from my life, yet also like they aren't. Many of them hate me; you can clearly see it in their eyes. Why do they hate me? What did I do to them? I really don't understand. Maybe it's just that as people get older, they tend to overthink? I still can't figure out if I'm reminiscing. This has been bothering me for a while, keeping me from sleeping well. Sometimes I'm too lazy to think about it anymore, but there's one thing I absolutely have to figure out—who am I?

The fire flickers, and in the flames, those strange faces seem to be materializing again, unclear.

It's strange: usually when I'm awake, those faces do appear, but they're never as clear as when I'm asleep; when I'm asleep, they're very clear, almost frighteningly clear, but when I wake up, everything becomes blurry again.

Blurry is blurry, there's nothing I can do about it.

Who did this to me? Why am I like this? Who am I?

I think I remember something—it was a very pretty little girl!

She was indeed very pretty, so pretty that even I, a man who thought I was unmoved by anything… Who was she?

It seems to be raining outside, a heavy downpour. And the wind is strong, making this dilapidated temple look like it's about to collapse. Will it fall down? Instead of thinking about those things that are really giving me a headache, I should focus on the present. Why is my brain still not working properly? I can't even remember why I came to this dilapidated temple. Didn't that just happen? How can I have forgotten?! I wasn't like this before, what was I like before? Sigh! It's that same foggy question again, what happened?

It seems like someone is walking towards this dilapidated temple in the wind and rain. Oh, that sounds like impressive light-footed skill. Oh, it seems like there are two people. Oh? It seems like there's someone else quietly following them from further away.

My ears were twitching, albeit very slightly, but they were definitely moving. My martial arts have improved!

Can I go and claim the title of number one in the world now? Why bother claiming that useless title? And who am I going to compete with? I couldn't quite figure it out. I just felt it was something I absolutely had to do, as if I'd been busy with it all along, it'd become a habit.

Footsteps were getting closer, they were almost at this dilapidated temple, coming.

The broken door was pushed open, and the annoying wind, carrying slanting raindrops, instantly soaked a large patch of ground, leaving wet footprints. My flame flickered wildly, and the entire temple suddenly became somewhat dim and surreal, everything seemed to be flying up, densely pressing down on me…

I looked up and brushed aside the messy hair on my forehead. This hair needed a good tidying up; it probably wasn't very good, it felt dry and sticky to the touch, like a pile of tangled grass, and it was way too long. I don't think I used to be like this...

There was a young couple, probably lovers, leaning against each other at the door. They were quite handsome.

The young man was dressed very well. Although he was soaking wet, you could still tell at a glance that the fabric and workmanship were top-notch. Hehe~ I know my stuff.

The young man was quite attractive, but the girl was even more attractive.

The girl was indeed very pretty, giving off a bright and clear feeling. Yes, that's the feeling.

But I don't really like this type. I like...

but this girl is still quite pretty, that can't be denied. She has a sweet and elegant round face, arched eyebrows, and eyes that also seem to be arched, as if she's smiling. Actually, she wasn't smiling; a girl soaked to the bone probably wouldn't smile, but that's the feeling she gave off. In addition, she had a touch of gentleness that seeped from her bones, which was really nice. Her clothes were completely soaked, and the feeling of being soaked was really nice; she seemed to be washed clean and clear. Those strands of hair, those slightly curvaceous curves…

well, it's nothing special. I've seen people much more handsome than them, I really have.

The young man was scrutinizing me closely, his gaze almost rude.

Am I really that annoying? Why is he acting like this the moment he sees me? Is it because my gaze at that girl was a little too direct? Is she pretty? Why not look? I didn't care about the young man's scrutiny. I continued to look calmly at the girl whose fair cheeks were already flushed. I like seeing girls shy.

The girl did indeed present a different kind of charm in her shyness.

That's right, charm. Lately, my knowledge has really improved like my martial arts skills, hehe~ Girls aren't necessarily charming when they're shy. Everyone has their own way of expressing it. Only girls with a gentle personality can evoke this feeling.

The young woman had a certain allure; her cheeks flushed, her head lowered, her gaze became somewhat unfocused, and her hands nervously adjusted the fabric of her shirt that clung to her body… It

was too late; I had already seen it all! Raindrops dripped from her hair, rolling down her cheeks, from her rounded chin to her chest, melting onto her shirt. The fine satin shirt clung to her body, revealing a pair of delicate mounds, with two tiny nipples at their tips… Summer is a good time; girls' clothes are thin, and when the rain hits them, those wonderful things have nowhere to hide, hahaha~

“I am Lu Zhanyuan, traveling with my wife to visit our family, when we encountered rain…” The young man seemed quite angry, but he didn't lash out. He spoke to me with a series of polite and refined words.

When he very politely addressed me as “Uncle,” I suddenly realized that I was indeed an old man. Am I old? I must be old, right? Otherwise, why would I keep staring at that young woman? Was it envy of her radiant youth? Yes, youth is so wonderful! Look at that delicate air, that smooth, fine skin, that graceful figure, that… that omnipresent youthful beauty is truly enviable!

I looked at her, and after looking, I wanted to continue exploring those traces of youth. Am I just obscene? I am a little obscene, I know. My gaze, as it swept over those wondrous curves, brought subtle changes to my body. Just looking, it seemed as if many answers were swirling in my mind, swirling until I felt a little… well, you know.

I did want to… well, but I didn’t know why, so I shrank to the side. Women, aren’t they mysterious creatures? I like those curves, I like those wonderful feelings, and at the same time, I’m a little afraid. Why am I afraid? I’m not quite sure. But I know that if I touch them, my world will become a mess, a complete mess. I’m already messed up enough.

It was a rainy summer night, I remember it clearly. I was young then. Yes, I was young too, but I can hardly recall what youth felt like anymore. She was young too, and those who have passed away were young once too—it seems there's no need to discuss that, but why does she always seem so young in my heart?

Who is she? It's a bit blurry, but she must be a very important woman in my life, extremely important, I know.

Mountains upon mountains, green, a verdant expanse that makes my eyes sting a little.

In the distance, snow-capped mountains rose, their silvery peaks piercing the clouds. Legend says fairies dwell on those mountains. That's nonsense, because I'd been there before I mastered martial arts, and even after reaching the other side of the clouds, I hadn't seen a single fairy. I'm a bit stubborn; I have to find the answer to everything. And finding it makes me happy? Not necessarily. At least the story about the snow mountain fairy made me regret it for a while. But it seems I quickly stopped regretting it, because I saw the fairy. She was the fairy.

Grass, trees, wildflowers battered by the rain… Where am I? Why does it feel so familiar? And there are those soaked clothes, and that sweet fragrance mingled with the drizzling rain…

She's a fairy, isn't she? She is. Her features are a bit blurry; I can't quite remember them, but I know she's beautiful.

Her breathing is rapid, hot, and warm. Her gaze still avoids me, disordered, containing annoyance and a touch of anxiety. Her brows were furrowed, her nostrils and lips flared uneasily, her jaw trembled, her whole body trembled, her hands… her hands were so beautiful, slender, elegant, and white, those delicate dimples on the back of her hands… Her hands pressed against my chest, trembling, but her refusal wasn't so firm.

“Second brother, second brother… no, no… don’t…”

Her voice was soft and sweet in my ear, like a murmur with a mesmerizing sob, lingering and drifting.

Second brother? Am I her second brother? Is she my sister? Or…? What was I doing then?

The rain fell on us, doing nothing to extinguish the already raging flames, but rather fueling them. Her hair was disheveled, wet, clinging messily to her face, coupled with her messy, tear-filled eyes, and the trembling that threatened to melt me, I felt like I was going crazy.

What was she hesitating about? Did she love me? From her eyes, I knew her secret. I did know, but she was resisting me, though not with a firm resolve. What was she hesitating about? Weren't her lips hot too? And her body, and her hands…

I pressed her tightly against the tree trunk, rubbing against her closely. The wet clothes clung to her skin, a little cool, but slippery. Perhaps it was the slipperiness emanating from that body? I wasn't sure, and I was too lazy to think about it; I had more important things to do.

At first, her lips flinched, avoided me, trembled. Those lips were so good, moist, tender, and cool.

I cupped her face, gazing into her clear eyes, gazing, conveying my burning passion to her. She froze, her eyes flickered, momentarily fiery, but immediately shrouded in sorrow; her tears mingled with the raindrops. I kissed her, starting from her forehead, kissing her brows, licking her eyelashes, then sucking away the tears… salty.

I felt the body in my arms soften, so soft, she leaned all her weight against me.

Soon, her body tensed again, and her hands, which had been pressing against my chest, suddenly pushed away forcefully.

"Second brother, we can't..."

"Why can't I? I can't live without you!"

I deftly overcame her resistance, stubbornly holding her and kissing her lips.

She didn't open her mouth; her lips were clenched, and she shook her head from side to side...

My hands rested on her waist. Her waist was slender, soft, and yet resilient.

Her body struggled, her waist twisting and arching forcefully...

My hands slid, tracing the contours of her body. Her body was exquisite—the tender touch, the subtle movements, and the soft curves.

Her lips softened, her tense body softened, and her hands slid away from my chest, resting on my shoulders. Slowly, her hands slid to the back of my neck, trembling as she cupped the back of my head... Her lips parted, grew warm, and her body became fiery hot. The kiss grew passionate and sweet, and she kissed me too. She began to break free from her hesitation; she forgot everything else, and now it was just her and me.

I savored the sweetness, sucking on her lips, gently biting them with my teeth, and then I slipped my tongue in, teasing hers with the tip.

Her lips shyly flinched, but quickly yielded. Our tongues intertwined, and we felt each other's fluttering excitement.

My hand loosened her sash. The soft ribbons fluttered down, and I felt her warmth, her heat. Women's clothing is intricate, but thankfully, it was summer.

My hand finally touched her smooth, warm skin.

The moment we touched, her skin twitched, and the muscles beneath her delicate skin seemed to twitch; she tensed again. Her skin was even a little hot to the touch. My hand stirred ripples across her body, and at the same time, she whispered her panic through her nose. But the panic seemed fleeting; she hugged me tightly, kneading me roughly, messing up my hair and clothes…

I felt encouraged, and the beauty truly intoxicated me. A stronger desire began to grow within me, burning fiercely, uncontrollably. My hand slid up her slender, smooth waist, savoring every delicate smoothness and the soft, tender texture, her breath, her heartbeat, every movement…

I found it, my fingers touched that exquisite mound, so soft, so smooth. Grasping it, the delicate tissue playfully evaded, bouncing and teasing my hand. The tip of the clitoris had hardened; I could almost feel its subtle swelling between my fingers…

I pulled away from her lips, abruptly ripping open her clothes.

Her shoulders, her chest, her abdomen, her upper body were laid bare before me.

I was intoxicated, intoxicated by her beauty and passion.

Her two delicate, pert breasts trembled with her rapid breathing, her amber nipples leaving shimmering trails in the air. Her abdomen rose and fell, revealing the peculiar eddy in her smooth belly. A blush of pink spread across her snow-white skin, a result of her passion; her body seemed to become crystalline, radiating her beauty towards me. Her face was flushed, her eyes tightly closed, her long, curled eyelashes trembling slightly, her lips still in a kissing pose, her tongue still moving, her lips a vibrant crimson. Her face was relaxed, a little eager; she was waiting for me. When I

moved closer again, I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked hard. She moaned softly…

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this. Thinking of it, my heart ached a little.

Why did it hurt? Who was she? What did she have to do with me?

She should be a very important woman in my life. It seems she's already...

That feeling still lingers in my heart. How wonderful, how beautiful

. But why does my heart ache? Was it a mistake? Did we hurt each other in that wonderful moment? Who is she? And who am I?

"Uncle, uncle, are you feeling unwell?" A gentle voice rang in my ears, waking me from my reverie.

Who's breathing so heavily? So labored.

Seeing Lu Zhanyuan and the concerned young woman's eyes, I realized it was me breathing heavily.

"Here's a calming and refreshing pill. Take it. Do you have a fever?"

Seeing the young woman holding a red pill in her chubby pink hands, I stared intently at her little hands and the wrist adorned with a jade bracelet. I felt a strange undercurrent surging within me again; I wanted to bite her. But this young woman was so gentle; I couldn't bring myself to bite her.

“Uncle, you…” The girl offered her hand.

“Yuanzhi, don’t go near him!” Lu Zhanyuan pulled the girl behind him, his right hand on the hilt of his knife, his eyes wide with suspicion.

I was still staring at the frightened girl. I was annoyed by Lu Zhanyuan; he had separated me from her. I felt my head spinning, my breathing becoming increasingly rapid, my nerves and muscles becoming less and less under my control, and my joints seemed to be cracking…

“Brother, this old man is sick. Look how red his face is.”

“Yuanzhi, he’s dangerous!”

The door of the dilapidated temple seemed to have been blown open by the wind, and as the light and shadow shifted, another person appeared.

That person stood in the darkness. But I could still see clearly; it was a girl I couldn’t quite place. Seeing her, I was startled.

Actually, this girl wasn’t scary at all; in fact, she was a very pretty young woman. She looked to be about seventeen or eighteen years old, her well-tailored apricot-yellow blouse accentuating her delicate and exquisite figure. Indeed, she was quite alluring; she was fuller-figured than the girl before me, with a fuller bust, a slender waist, and rounded hips—a curvaceous and shapely figure. She was also taller, very upright, and possessed a sharp, almost piercing quality. Her long eyebrows slanted towards her temples, and her phoenix eyes held a cold, piercing chill. Her nose was straight, and her thin lips were tightly pursed, making the lines of her face appear even colder. Her gaze swept across, and she exuded an aloofness and arrogance that made one uncomfortable.

That gaze…that gaze…I feel like I've seen it somewhere before! That's why I'm so surprised.

Where have I seen it? Where?

How many years ago? I think I was still quite young then, and I think I was doing something rather pointless with some legendary figures on the summit of Mount Hua…

Mount Hua! That's it! I saw that proud gaze at the foot of Mount Hua.

She was leading a magnificent white horse, wearing a long blue robe, and carrying a sword… Yes, that's how she was dressed then, like a chivalrous knight-errant. In fact, she was a knight-errant; she didn't like being a girl, she even spoke like a man, she cursed and killed.

Why did I want to deal with her? I honestly can't remember. I just remember that when I came down from Mount Hua, I had some things to do, and she was very important to me.

Yes, she was important. Besides utilitarian motives, she almost changed me.

I can't remember when or where I first met her; I only remember that I seemed to be quite unknown back then.

Fame? Hehe~ Actually, I didn't seem to care much about fame back then; my ideal was to be a true assassin.

Assassin? Yes, that mysterious profession—lurking in the most inconspicuous places, using the most direct methods to end a life, like a ghost in the night.

Oh! What a strange feeling! I liked it, or rather, I really liked that vibe back then. I came out of the mountains, I mastered unparalleled martial arts, and I only wanted to be an assassin. I loved the taste of blood, I loved seeing the desperate eyes and piercing screams of people on the verge of death, and the warm feeling of blood splattering on my hands or face. Because of these things, I only wanted to be an assassin. People with fame cherish that damn thing, especially a good reputation. For those feelings, I didn't care about fame; I only wanted to be an assassin.

And being an assassin meant I could live however I wanted, and I could make money.

Money? Heh heh~ I remember I used to not care about money at all, I thought it was a bit dirty, completely incomparable to the feelings I had for it. After becoming an assassin, money suddenly changed; it became a way of measuring things. Yes, even though I didn't want to be famous, I still wanted some kind of recognition. And money became the yardstick. When I got it, heh heh~ there was a thrill, similar to killing, sex…

Why did I like killing so much? Why did I like the taste of blood? Why...?

My mind is a mess again, like there's some nerve I can't touch; touching it throws my heart into chaos.

For money? Right, that's right, I came from the distant snow-capped mountains, across the vast Gobi Desert, through Yumen Pass, past Lingwu, and into Chang'an for money. I came to kill for money.

What was that person's name? I can't remember. But he seemed quite famous, and a good one at that. His martial arts skills were also supposedly very high, or at least legendary.

Chang'an is so big, so prosperous! Chang'an at night is also magical. The deep night shrouds this beautiful city, and the magnificent buildings, illuminated by dazzling lights, seem to spread their wings, making one's thoughts involuntarily take flight. And there are those people with satisfied faces, searching for pleasure in the night and the lights.

Pleasure? Heh~ I came here to find pleasure too.

The night sky, illuminated by lamplight, was somewhat chaotic, no longer the clear, inky blue and the pale light tinged by the cold moon, though my beloved cold moon still graced the horizon.

I love the night, and I also love wearing white in the darkness to savor its mystery, and that subtle, elusive killing intent within that mystery. I must begin; I cannot linger any longer in this chaotic city.

I didn't kill that person.

When I arrived, a fight was already underway in the courtyard, the air thick with the stench of blood that I should have caused.

I saw her—oh, at that moment, I thought it was him.

He wore clothes the same color as the night, and in his hand wielded a sword colder than the cold moon. He was more suited to be a ghost of the night than I was.

He moved with lightning speed, silently; the cold moon in his hand danced with him, flashing like lightning; it was his gaze that killed!

Yes, it was those proud, aloof, yet beautiful eyes that killed. Those eyes were strange; under such intense gaze, it seemed impossible to face their brilliance. My heart raced first, then I was drawn to the cold sword, and then…

He wasn't very tall, but he gave the impression of being tall. His blue robe fluttered in the wind, making him appear ethereal, almost like a deity.

Indeed, he was somewhat like a deity. He also possessed a face almost perfect like a deity's. He came to assassinate, but he wasn't masked.

I like unmasked assassins. That's how I am. We don't wear masks because I'm confident, and I like having confidence. At the same time, I admired his divine swordsmanship. It was for killing, yet he wielded it with such elegance. His movements were truly graceful—his legs, his waist, his… And then, I admired his face. Those slanted eyebrows, somewhat light, very ethereal. Those eyes—oh, those proud, cold phoenix eyes. The corners of his eyes followed the direction of his eyebrows, making him even colder. I felt he had every right to be proud. He was handsome, and capable.

Handsome? Is it a bit much to use such a word to describe a man? I truly thought he was very handsome; he was the most handsome man I had ever seen.

You can't deny it, look at that delicate, straight nose, those red lips, that jade-like skin, those shoulders, that waist, those legs… He's more beautiful than a girl.

Why does my heart seem to be pounding so hard? I feel a little…

"Why? Who are you?" The target, brandishing his broadsword, faced the beautiful ghost in terror, utterly bewildered and seemingly confused.

The final battle was between four masters; the rest were dead. Because those remaining were masters, the fight became extremely dangerous.

He didn't care at all; he remained swift as lightning, light as a feather. He spun around, leaving a trail of light and shadow in the night, then a man fell.

"Hypocritical scoundrel, take off your mask! You think you're so well-hidden?" His voice was arrogant; he seemed to know everything.

"Who are you? Who are you?"

"Lin Chaoying."

That's right, her name is Lin Chaoying.

She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, the woman I almost fell in love with. This secret has been hidden in my heart for so long, so very long!

I was twenty-one then, I remember, because my child had just been born. Actually, I left the snow mountain to escape, didn't I? It seems so.

A few years passed in between.

During that time, I could never forget Lin Chaoying flying in the dark night.

I think I changed a bit during that time; I no longer killed simply because of feelings.

Mount Hua, after doing something stupid, I saw her again.

II. A Glimpse of Mount Hua:

A Stupid Act? Was I stupid? I was just a little confused.

It's natural for men and women to be together.

I like women, and I like things a little unusual. It seems I did something a little unethical with my woman.

What was unusual about it? I can't remember.

It seems our relationship was unusual, it seems that's what happened.

That room, that person, it seemed like they weren't just mine. I only went to that room at specific times, only then…

The feeling in my memory was spicy and stimulating; I was like fire, and so was she.

Then, my heart ached, and she cried. It was as if we shared a burden of guilt.

Guilt? A little remorse, was it? But the feeling was wonderful, etched in my heart; I liked it.

She seemed to be struggling to bear it; her eyes were conflicted. Even after she gave birth, even in the short time afterward, she seemed never truly free… I remember her eyes.

Why? There seemed to be a reason.

Men with men, then…?

I can't explain my feelings. I've only actually met Lin Chaoying once.

That uneasy night in Chang'an, that sword… She was a man then.

Just thinking about her makes my heart pound, my scalp tingle, and my blood rush uncontrollably... Her image swirls before my eyes, her eyes are looking at me, her lips move slightly as if she wants to speak to me, she... I can't control myself.

It's strange, thinking about this man makes me like this.

Am I just born to live a life that doesn't follow a stable path?

I also did something that seemed utterly meaningless to me: I participated in this damn "Mount Hua Sword Tournament."

Mount Hua Sword Tournament? Yes, I remember it clearly.

It seems to be about becoming the best in the world, about fame.

When did I start to be so obsessed with fame? Was it from that night? I wanted to be famous, wanted her attention, wanted...

and also to compete for the "Nine Yin Manual."

The "Nine Yin Manual"? That thing seems to be very important.

Am I practicing the skills from that manual now? Did I get it? Am I the best in the world?

It seems I didn't get it back then; some stinky Taoist priest with a graying beard took it from me.

What was that stinky Taoist's name? Looks like my brain isn't working too well anymore. Sigh... Actually, that stinky Taoist wasn't that old, only in his forties, but his hair and beard were definitely white, and he didn't seem very happy.

That stinky Taoist was amazing; in all my life, he was the first person I'd ever met who was more powerful than me.

I think I can remember some things now. That stinky Taoist seemed to be like me, obsessed with things that seemed a bit eccentric.

In a way, that stinky Taoist was my mentor; he made me less disgusted with the wild fantasies I hid in my heart, he opened up a new world for me.

"Senior brother, senior brother..."

It was a fat, big-eared fellow, quite cute. Not that he was particularly handsome, but his demeanor—he was as pure as an unblemished sheet of paper, or so it seemed.

What was in his eyes? I think I understand now; it was a strange passion, so direct and undisguised.

He stood behind the stinky Taoist priest, gently loosening his hair, letting the long, graying locks fall loose. He gently combed them, his face pressed against the priest's refined, handsome face, rubbing against it…

My God! So it wasn't just me! I just kept thinking about them…

“Junior Brother…”

The lines on that refined, handsome face seemed to have calmed down; he was so relaxed. He closed his eyes, quietly savoring the warmth from behind him. What was he waiting for?

The chubby hand moved from his shoulder, tearing open the priest's clothes, revealing his somewhat comical chest.

The chest looked rather shocking; indeed, those potentially fatal scars made it look rather frightening. Each scar told a story, didn't it? What kind of life had he lived?

The chubby hand slid across the chest, touching each scar gently, softly, the skin rubbing together, making a soft, warm, rustling sound.

The muscles on the Taoist priest's face twitched slightly, his breathing quickened, and he pressed down on the chubby hand, guiding it… a look of ecstasy crossed his face.

The chubby hand actually slid over the Taoist priest's stomach, disappearing into the pile of his robes.

Their lips intertwined, they caressed each other, feeling a wonderful, complete immersion.

My God! Is this possible? Can men be this intimate? So it wasn't just me who harbored these feelings, so… then, will I fall for Lin Chaoying? I will!

The Taoist priest stood leaning against the pine tree trunk, his face pressed against it, his back slightly swaying, his back covered in scars.

The fat, big-eared fellow knelt behind the Taoist priest, holding…

is this it? Is this answer satisfactory?

The fat, big-eared fellow was actually licking the Taoist priest's buttocks, carefully licking back and forth between the buttocks.

His hand reached around to the front of the stinky Taoist priest, grasping the limp thing amidst the dark, hairy hair, and carefully kneading it.

Why is it still limp? Didn't it look quite aroused? Look, isn't your ass wiggling quite wantonly? Does it feel good?

"Junior brother, junior brother..."

The stinky Taoist priest turned around and tightly embraced the fat, big-eared fellow, making him lean against the tree trunk. He kissed him...

I saw it, his anus was wet and slightly open, a small hole, the spiral folds seeming to laugh!

His body lowered further and further, he kissed his lips, his chin, his neck, his chest, he lingered on his chest, he examined his nipples, those nipples were even erect like a woman's nipples. Something else was erect too, that thing in the stinky Taoist priest's hand, he kneaded very carefully, very attentively. Gradually, the smelly Taoist priest knelt in front of the fat, big-eared man. He gently sucked on the bright red glans with his lips, and with a crisp "snap," it made a clear sound.

The fat, big-eared man groaned with pleasure, his face flushed. His mouth was wide open, panting, his heavy breathing mixed with nasal moans that made the air feel hot. His hands gripped the tree trunk tightly, his muscles twitching restlessly, his belly protruding…it was quite amusing, round and bulging, swaying back and forth.

The stinky Taoist priest took the encouraged and comforted penis into his mouth, sucking hard and deliberately making "smack, smack" sounds.

I felt my body heating up too, my heart pounding uncontrollably, my blood rushing.

I also felt my muscles contorting, most intensely in my perineum, where it twitched and throbbed. The changes in my testicles caused my penis to...

Even stranger, the twitching of my perineum caused the peristalsis of my anal sphincter, and that cavity seemed to convey a strange, aching sensation. The muscles in my buttocks were so tense they were aching.

The image of Lin Chaoying flashed through my mind.

He looked at me coldly, his clothes fluttering in the wind, revealing his body.

His skin must be as white and tender as his jade-like cheeks, right? Perhaps even more... His

muscles must be more beautiful than that stinky Taoist priest's, right? He was very skilled in martial arts. A skilled martial artist couldn't possibly not have a beautiful physique, like mine. His muscles must be even better; his figure was so good, he was a little thin, but so agile. His legs are so beautiful, his ass must be much better than that stinky Taoist's, his… I want to touch his penis, I want to be like that stinky Taoist, I want him to suck mine, I really want to…

My hand involuntarily reached into my belt, pressed against my tense, hot lower abdomen, through the thick hair, and grasped his erect penis. It was so hot, and there was that tingling pulse, that slight swelling, and the throbbing when it was being rubbed… If they can do it, what do I have to worry about?

The two of them pressed together, the stinky Taoist leaning against the tree trunk, restlessly thrusting his ass, while the fat guy grabbed the stinky Taoist's waist from behind, yelling and slamming his body heavily against the stinky Taoist's ass, “slap slap”…

Is it okay? What’s wrong with it? Why are there so many yeses and nos? Aren’t they having a good time?

I couldn’t concentrate on practicing my kung fu, I was just thinking about my own little things, about Lin Chaoying, about being with him. Strangely, I didn't seem to be thinking about the child, nor about her waiting for me on the snowy mountain. I was just thinking about Lin Chaoying; I couldn't control my mind and heart, I couldn't help it.

The Mount Hua Sword Tournament was about to begin, and in this state, it seemed the title of "Number One in the World" was going to be ruined. So what if it's ruined? Does it really matter that much?

Lin Chaoying arrived, walking with a rather disheveled-looking young man. I encountered them at Tingyu Pavilion in Huayin.

At that moment, my mind went completely blank, all the blood rushed to my head, my limbs felt light and weak, and I felt like I was about to collapse.

Lin Chaoying was so beautiful. His white horse was so beautiful. His white robes shone brightly in the sunlight, almost transparent. Perhaps it was because of the sun? A blush appeared on his jade-like face. His lips were still proudly pursed, his sword in his slender, white hand. Where was his sword aura? Why did it seem less sharp? He must be as sharp as a sword, right? Why is he laughing? That laugh is so hearty, so genuine…

But his laugh isn't for me; he's giving that smile to the disheveled guy next to him.

Who's that guy? I don't know him.

Look at that patched-up rags, that tangled, messy hair, that silly expression!

Oh, actually, that expression isn't silly at all. That young man may be slovenly, but…

my goodness! That young man is so charismatic. His eyes radiate a wild, untamed passion. He nonchalantly accepts all gazes, smiling, his head always slightly held high.

His tattered clothes don't matter anymore, his tangled hair doesn't matter anymore—he's so radiant!

What should I do? Why do I feel so panicked? Don't panic! You can't be so pathetic! Are you worse than that young man? Not really, right?

I gripped the table, reaching up to tidy my hair, then to wipe my face, worried about eye boogers. I rubbed my face… why did all the muscles in my face seem to be twitching? What was all this twitching about?!

Right, that young man isn't as tall as me! His… his clothes aren't… does clothing matter? Damn!

Why is Lin Chaoying so happy walking with him? They…? Don't fucking think like that, don't think like that.

I pressed my hand against my chest, pressing hard. If I didn't press hard, I was afraid my heart would burst through my chest, messing up my proud pectoral muscles.

What's wrong with me? Why have I suddenly lost my confidence? What the hell is going on?

I held my breath, afraid to breathe.

They actually came in! They actually sat in the seat next to me! They…

My neck is so sore. I want to look at him, but I don't dare. I'm worried he'll feel resentful towards me because of the jealousy in my eyes. I'm worried…

jealousy? I'm jealous? I'm jealous of that beggar? Just because Lin Chaoying is with him?

What's their relationship? Could they...?

Don't think nonsense, don't fucking think nonsense, damn it!

My back muscles are so sore, I want to see him, but I don't dare. I'm worried...

what the hell should I do? I've never been so indecisive in my life! What's wrong with me?

I live in the famous "Liuxianju" in Huayin, it's quite comfortable.

But I can't sleep, I really can't sleep, I'm thinking about him, my mind is completely blank.

There's another reason I can't sleep, my neighbor is an idiot, he fucking plays the flute every night, he calls it a xiao.

The sound of that xiao is always so melancholy, like a lonely person wandering in the boundless wilderness, the sky, the clouds, the grassland, the mountains, the water, the grass, he, it seems to be all his, yet none of it is his, he's so fucking lonely.

Later I heard he wasn't playing about the wilderness, but about the sea.

The sea? What the hell is the sea like? I'd never seen him play, but I felt he was conveying a sense of bewilderment and loneliness amidst the wilderness and snow-capped mountains. I didn't believe anything he said.

His flute music always seemed to solidify my anxieties into a concrete image: Lin Chaoying seemed to be washing that beggar's feet, feeding him…

Damn it, I really wanted to beat that arrogant brat up!

But I couldn't do it.

In the quiet of the night, I longed for that flute music.

On moonlit nights, I longed for him to have a drink with me.

We became friends.

What was that arrogant brat's name again?

The moon was so round and bright that night, the dark blue sky stretched out endlessly, so clear it was bottomless.

The stream in the garden babbled merrily, and the branches, grass, and even the insects hiding in the grass joined in the gentle breeze.

The arrogant brat sat opposite me, not looking at me, but fiddling with his beautiful jade flute in his handsome hands.

He was very handsome.

He wasn't as tall as me, but he didn't look short at all. His hair was always meticulously combed, and the gold crown binding it was exquisite. His face was handsome: his light eyebrows were striking; his phoenix eyes, filled with both tenderness and aloofness, were captivating; his nose was straight and refined; his lips had strong lines, the most striking feature of his appearance.

He always wore the best clothes, ate the best food, and stayed in the best rooms; he was a bit picky. He said it was what he deserved, because outstanding people naturally deserve outstanding treatment, and one can't be undemanding of oneself.

He gave off a proud vibe, but I knew he was lonely, and warm-hearted. Some people are like that; they seem arrogant and unapproachable, but they actually need comfort, like me and Crazy Boy.

Crazy Boy downed his glass of wine in one gulp, looked at me, and said, "Brother Feng, life is often unsatisfactory..."

I loved drinking with him, but I didn't like chatting with him; he always tried to lecture me, which I didn't enjoy. But I loved listening to him play his jade flute. The sound of that flute allowed me to understand him, and we could talk from the heart—how wonderful!

He began to play. He was actually quite perceptive; he knew I didn't enjoy talking to him, but he knew I loved listening to him play.

He took me back to the edge of my wilderness and snow-capped mountains. I was walking alone, not knowing where it would end. It seemed like there was someone else beside me, so far away…

A clear, melodious zither melody began to echo the wild boy's jade flute.

My head buzzed. That zither music…

I felt someone approaching me, felt his warmth, felt his gaze, felt… He gently explained the pain in my heart. He seemed to be stroking my face, my body, soothing my restlessness and unease. He had the power to draw my passion to him, I felt it.

The heart is such a wondrous thing.

I didn't turn around; I could feel with my heart that it was the person I was waiting for. His arrival made my heart flutter. The moon seemed to have lost its luster, and the night sky was exceptionally clear. All the noise disappeared, even the wild boy's jade flute no longer touched my heart, leaving only the soft and melodious sound of the zither.

Was he asking me to read him? It didn't seem so. What was he doing? It seemed like he was responding to someone else. He…?

It was Lin Chaoying, dressed in a dark blue robe, sitting casually in the pavilion on the artificial hill. A lantern beside him illuminated his face, his figure, as if no one else was there.

A soulmate is far away? I'm here!

I stood up, a little unsteady, and grabbed the table for support. I looked in that direction, but didn't have the courage to go over. I could only look at him, at his eyebrows, his eyes, his lips, his flowing robe sleeves, and his obliviousness…

He wasn't here to play the zither for me! He was…?

My God! What was his relationship with the wild boy? It seemed like his eyes were only for the wild boy, and his zither music was for the wild boy too! What should I do?

"The mad boy's jade flute has changed tune," he asked.

"The zither has changed tune too," he answered.

I felt utterly abandoned in the watery night, feeling utterly empty. I was going crazy.

After that night, I stopped living at "Liuxianju."

I still liked the mad boy's jade flute, and I still liked the mad boy, but I couldn't bear their responses. Although staying there meant I could see him, I couldn't bear the feeling of being ignored.

I moved away, to Jinglin Temple outside Huayin City.

Jinglin Temple wasn't big, but the environment was quite nice.

The monks weren't bad either, they knew how to use money effectively. So, I lived quite well, and the food was good too.

A group of wealthy people moved in around the same time as me.

Leading them was a young man in brocade robes and a jade belt, with an imposing air. You could tell at a glance he was from the south—short, with a large head, high cheekbones, thick lips, and rather sexy skin, tanned a very impressive bronze by the sun. His eyes were bright, somewhat like stars, and his gaze was like fire. He's a pretty cool young man, especially since he's very easygoing, never speaks without a smile, and always speaks politely. I quite like him.

But I dislike his followers—a bunch of arrogant bastards! They act like grandsons in front of their master; but in front of strangers, they're all spitting out their gleaming canines. They're fucking despicable!

Lin Chaoying came again, alone with his sword, wearing a fiery red robe. He rushed over and first taught those lackeys a lesson for me.

When I came out, Lin Chaoying still didn't glance at me; his attention was on that fiery young man.

They quickly began to spar, using their best martial arts skills—a lively and impressive fight.

What was Lin Chaoying doing? He ate with beggars, he played music with the wild boy, he sparred with this fiery young man—so what would he do to me?

My mind finally cleared a little. I realized he was doing something he considered very important.

I'm not stupid; I've just fallen a little in love with him, I know.

A clear stream flowed down from Mount Hua, destined to mingle with the turbid Yellow River. I found it fascinating; the turbid Yellow River was formed by the convergence of these clear streams, so how could it be so muddy?

I sat by the stream, took off my shoes and socks, and dipped my toes into the flowing water to savor the clarity and a bone-chilling coolness.

Meanwhile, I was waiting for him. I

could already hear the sound of hooves, light and quick.

Was that him? I had a feeling he wouldn't let me go.

He was already busy enough; what was he going to do to me? Would he…?

My heart pounded wildly again. The coolness turned fiery hot; the stream seemed to boil, and even the wind that stirred the branches seemed to become scorching, threatening to set the trees ablaze, and me ablaze too.

The sound of hooves softened, "clop, clop," as it approached.

I saw a man and a horse clearly reflected in the stream.

He was dressed in white, clearer than the stream itself. His hand gently brushed aside the hair from his forehead. His eyes were closed, his head tilted back, his lips slightly parted, as he savored the caress of the wind and sunlight. His sword was behind him, and an apricot-yellow ribbon fluttered in the wind, brushing against his face, more delicate than a girl's. His white robes billowed in the wind, and he seemed to sway with them, his body agile and graceful, slender and beautiful. The soft ribbons dancing in the wind transformed the sunlight and the stream into uncertain light and shadow. He could vanish with the wind at any moment, never to be caught again.

I gazed at his reflection in the clear stream, pondering the shifting ripples. I couldn't understand it, but I was thrilled. I desperately wanted to see him beyond the stream, so much so, but I seemed to lack the courage to meet his eyes. I seemed unable to face him. Why? Was I panicking? Hadn't I been eagerly awaiting this moment?

He squatted down by the clear stream, still not glancing at me, scooping up the water to wash away his weariness.

He looked tired, and he sighed softly.

That sigh gripped my heart; I desperately wanted to understand the sorrow in his heart.

Surely a sighing person suffers? If I could—I really could, I felt I could.

My muscles twitched; a strange force urged me to go over and comfort him.

But I didn't. I still don't understand why I didn't go.

Perhaps it was because of that lingering doubt? Perhaps I was waiting for his action? Did he come with a purpose?

"Drink well, is the water sweet?"

He combed the white horse's mane, gently stroking its neck. His face rested against the horse's shoulder, listening quietly to its heartbeat and breathing, as if I didn't exist.

"Tired, Xue'er? I'm so tired."

His eyes were closed, his long eyelashes trembling slightly, his lips moving. His hands gently stroked the white horse's fur, soft and elegant; his neck stretched out, slender and graceful, his skin almost translucent in the sunlight and water's shimmer, a clear vitality emanating from it.

My greatest courage was simply staring at him, my greatest courage was simply imagining myself as that white horse.

His fingers brushed against my skin, would I tremble? I couldn't tremble, that would be so pathetic.

His fingers brushed against my lips, would I tremble? I couldn't tremble, that would be so pathetic.

His fingers brushed against my…

would they? Would he stroke me? Even just holding my hand? His hands are so beautiful, so long and slender. Would they be soft? This is a bit delusional. Even the most beautiful hands of a martial artist wouldn't be soft. Those calluses are our pride, and he's no exception, right? His hands would be so warm, wouldn't they? They would bring…

If he held my penis, and his hand gently massaged my scrotum, pleasing my testicles, oh, if his fingers slid across my perineum, touching… My God!

If I touched him too, his chest, his belly, his… his buttocks would be so bouncy, wouldn't they? What's his private area like? It would be beautiful, wouldn't it? Need I say more!

If… why so many ifs? When did you become so prone to "ifs"? Aren't you usually so good at turning "ifs" into reality? How could you be so timid in front of him?!

"A beautiful woman, alluring and leisurely, gathers mulberry leaves by a forked road.

Slender branches sway gently, fallen leaves flutter gracefully.

She rolls up her sleeve, revealing a fair hand, a

golden bracelet adorning her white wrist. A golden hairpin adorns her head, a jade pendant hangs at her waist. Pearls adorn her

jade-like body, coral interspersed with amber.

Her silk robes flutter, her light skirts sway in the wind.

Her glances leave a lingering glow, her long sighs are as sweet as orchids .

She pauses to rest her carriage, forgetting to eat. '

May I ask where you live,' she replies, 'at the southern end of the city.

A brothel overlooks the main road, its high gates heavily guarded.

Her beauty shines like the morning sun; who wouldn't admire her face?

What does the matchmaker do? Gifts are never readily available.

The beauty admires noble virtues, but finding a virtuous man is difficult.

The crowd clamors in vain, how can they know what she truly desires?

In the prime of her life, confined to her chambers, she rises in the middle of the night with a long sigh.'"

He sang softly.

His song dispelled all my "what ifs." If this is how it is, if he came only for me, if his song is for me, then without those "what ifs," I think I am very happy. Now he is for me.

And I am waiting for him. Does he know?

"A white horse adorned with golden bridle gallops swiftly northwest.

May I ask whose son he is? A chivalrous youth from You and Bing.

He left his hometown young, his fame spreading across the desert.

He once wielded a fine bow, his arrows of varying quality.

He drew the string and pierced the left target, his right shot shattering the Yuezhi.

He caught a flying monkey with his hand, and scattered a horse's hooves with his body.

His cunning surpassed that of a monkey, his courage and ferocity that of a leopard.

The border is often in turmoil, the barbarians frequently migrate. Urgent

messages arrive from the north, he spurs

his horse and ascends the high embankment. He charges into the Xiongnu, glancing left to subdue the Xianbei.

He throws himself to the edge of the blade, how can he cherish his life?

He disregards even his parents, how can he speak of his children and wife?

His name is inscribed in the register of brave warriors, he cannot be swayed by personal feelings. He

sacrifices himself for the country's peril, regarding death as returning home."

There was a touch of heroism, and a touch of sorrow. I didn't know what he was singing, but I knew what he was longing for. Was that me?

He stopped, and suddenly, his gaze finally fell upon me.

I saw tears welling up in his clear phoenix eyes. He was no longer proud, no longer cold; he suddenly became somewhat sad, helpless, and vulnerable.

Pearl-like tears dripped from those phoenix eyes, rolling down his cheeks, landing on the tips of the grass, and shattering into fragments.

What happened to him? Who hurt him like this? Was it me?

The pear blossoms fell, laden with rain. When he raised his head again, he gave me a forlorn smile.

That smile was especially desolate in the tearful light. He held me tightly. The smile

lingered indelibly in the sunlight, even though he had already mounted his white horse, leaving me with that heartbreak, vanishing without a trace…

III. The Unbearable Lightness

I must reflect, I must reflect, what have I come here for?

Youth, unparalleled martial arts skills, I still have money, women, and desires in my heart, I… I have him in my heart, he is everywhere, leaving me nowhere to hide.

Strange, why do I miss him more the more I try to reflect?

This can't be, it really can't be. You have... a woman you've hurt, who's waiting for you. Seeing her, weren't you once so passionate? How come she's becoming less and less important to you? Don't you have a newborn child? They're all waiting for you in the snowy mountains, they all need you. What are you doing here? For fame? For the Nine Yin Manual? For...

what can I do? My heart is with him.

I know, I know loving a man like this is absurd. I haven't even figured out how he's captured me. I... what can I do? He leaves me nowhere to hide.

Once, twice, three times... I can count the times we met on my fingers. I... I can't count what he said to me, but...

his white horse, his snow-white robes, his dreamlike blue gown, his fiery passion, his sword, the sadness he left behind as he departed—he's always by my side. He's already captured me completely!

What do you want? How do you want to be with him? Just for a hopeless relationship? Just because it's a passion you've never experienced before? Just...?

What can I do? He's in my heart.

I know, I know it's absurd to love a man like this. The result? Passion? Fate? Can a person really distinguish between what's right and wrong at this moment? I don't even know why I came to Mount Hua anymore, I only think about him.

When you have someone in your heart, you can truly forget your worries, yet at the same time, your heart is filled with endless sorrow. That feeling is truly wondrous, can it be explained clearly? I don't know.

The night in Huayin is very quiet, usually the night is very quiet in a place that isn't very big. Where does the mountain wind come from? It can't help me at all, my heart is still burning, still...

Crazy Boy told me that we're drinking "Drunken Life, Dreamy Death" today.

"Drunken Life, Dreamy Death"? Drinking it will eliminate all worries? Holy crap!

"That's Cao Zhi's Yuefu poem 'The Beautiful Woman.' 'The supple branches sway gently, the fallen leaves flutter gracefully,' that describes the beautiful scenery of the mulberry grove. This gentle breeze and warm sunshine lead to the beautiful woman below. 'She rolls up her sleeves, revealing her fair hands…' This describes the beauty of the woman—her clothing, appearance, and residence—it speaks of her 'charming and leisurely' nature. And finally? Finally, it speaks of the woman's waiting. What is she waiting for? She has her own opinions; she 'admires noble virtues, but finding a virtuous and capable man is difficult,' there's a hint of melancholy here… That's 'The White Horse,' also called 'The Wandering Knight,' it's about a loyal and brave wandering knight-errant, highly skilled in martial arts, willing to sacrifice himself, he…"

After a cup of "Drunken Life, Dreamlike Death," the madman became more talkative.

Today, I wanted to hear his nonsense, to have him unravel the mystery in my heart.

A beautiful woman? He's a man! Is he talking about me? Is he saying I'm…? Or is it actually him? My God! What is he thinking? He knows what I'm thinking!

A white horse? A wandering knight-errant? Who is that? Who is this wandering swordsman he longs for? Me? No way! Who?

Finding an answer might not be enough, really.

The madman is playing his flute again.

I have to go; I can't stand that jade flute today, and I don't want to wander alone in the wilderness.

"Drunken life, dreaming of death" is useless! The night wind blows, and the effects of the alcohol keep rising, making me want to vomit, and my legs are a little unsteady, damn it!

The night in Huayin is quite busy today! There's no moon, everything is a blur, but there are night travelers, flying to and fro.

"Qiu Qianren, someone like you wants to participate in the Mount Hua Sword Tournament?"

My ears buzzed; it was him, his cold and proud voice not far away. I looked up and rubbed my eyes hard. He was in the middle of the street, his clothes fluttering in the wind, his hair wandering, and with it, the undying divine light. He stood very straight, tall and handsome. His appearance is always so different; he is both a ghost in the dark night and that sword. He wore that dreamlike blue robe, blending seamlessly with the night, and enveloped me.

The Mount Hua Sword Tournament? Was he here for this gathering too? He…?

Opposite him was a short man, short but strong; his brown cloak seemed unable to conceal his solid muscles, giving off an aura of impending explosion.

Qiu Qianren? What was that? That ugly monster?

Qiu Qianren's appearance was quite interesting; such a contrast made him stand out so much.

A fight ensued, the two figures clashing.

Qiu Qianren's palm techniques were powerful, sharp, possessing a overwhelming force. And

him? He remained graceful and agile, like a feather.

Fighting against an opponent like Qiu Qianren, he was no concern for me.

Was he only all this fuss for the Mount Hua Sword Tournament? I thought. Was

he here to cause trouble? Did he dislike others participating in the Mount Hua Sword Tournament? What was he up to? He was a mystery.

I feel like I'm about to break down. I don't want to think about what he's going to do. What he does to me doesn't matter, but he never does anything to me. Am I just being ignored by him like this? Go ahead and do whatever you want to me, even with your sword, I just want you to come for me.

I've thought about taking the initiative to find him, but just thinking about it, my courage always disappears when I try to act. I don't dare. Maybe I'm afraid that if I take the initiative, even this little bit of affection between us will disappear. I can't.

He's so high and mighty, almost untouchable.

But I want him so badly, this longing makes my blood boil, my passion burn like fire. I need him. Just thinking about him makes me burn with desire, the feeling is too...

There's a dense bamboo forest, with the familiar rustling of bamboo.

I don't like bamboo, not because I dislike its majestic appearance and greenness, but because I dislike its empty belly. I don't like emptiness.

But I like bamboo forests because they contain things I like. They have no thoughts, or maybe they do, who knows? Their eyes are indifferent, their bodies are like water.

The night wind rustled the bamboo grove, the sound growing louder.

They came; I had summoned them, and they obeyed.

They looked at me, bowing at my feet.

I liked this feeling; this sense of dominance was quite nice, and I needed them.

The night wind lifted my clothes; my white clothes hadn't been washed in a while, a little dirty. I used to be intolerant of that, but now it was what it was, I had no intention of fixing it.

I loosened my belt and stood in the wind, slowly taking off my clothes, letting the wind soothe my restless skin and body. I could feel that bone-deep ease.

I saw my shoulders, broad, beautiful deltoids, beautiful trapezius muscles, beautiful… How great my pectoral muscles were! I made them move, and they moved; my abs, those two evenly distributed, spirited little things, how powerful!

Was I completely unattractive?

I unzipped my pants, letting them slide to my feet.

The sliding brought a chill, and goosebumps rose on my skin.

I stared at the proud thing amidst the tangled pubic hair below my abdomen, slowly raising its head, pointing towards the sky.

Am I completely unattractive?

He's here, before my eyes, in my heart.

He's carefully admiring my body, something burning within his gaze.

I felt a little shy; I really do feel shy in his presence. I gently turned away, sideways, and covered my lower body with my hand.

Why is it considered unworthy of attention? This is a man's thing, isn't it? Who called it unworthy of attention? Damn! Is this the source of my shyness? It seems so; even I, when shy, instinctively cover myself.

I'm not shy, I'm just a little flustered. My heart is pounding wildly, my breathing is pumping uncontrollably, my skin is changing, my muscles are twitching, and… the thing in my hand is swelling; I'm waiting for him.

He didn't speak, his appearance was blurry, only his eyes, clearer than moonlight, remained, his gaze caressing my back, my shoulders.

He came closer, bringing his body heat. Why was he cold? Not that he was cold, but not warm; when he brushed against my skin, it brought a tingling sensation, but also a sticky feeling. What was happening?

I didn't have time to figure it out; my brain couldn't think anymore. I leaned against the bamboo, breathing heavily, arching my back, trying to stop my weak muscles from twitching, trying to calm myself down. But I didn't really want to calm down; how wonderful this burning feeling was!

His breath was on the back of my neck! His hand was on my shoulder! His cheek was... was rubbing against my face! His hair swept across my face in the wind! His lips touched my earlobe!

How wonderful his lips were, warm and delicate, moist and soft, tender yet intense. Oh! His tongue, nimble, moist, and playful.

His lips nibbled at my earlobe, slowly tracing its path, along with his mischievous tongue.

So ticklish! The ticklishness pierced my heart, relentlessly assaulting me. The tingling, the panic, and the trembling mixed within it, swirled and surged through my body rapidly along my spine.

His hand slipped behind me, gently caressing my chest, carefully, then with increasing pressure, stirring my heartbeat. At the same time, his fingernail grazed my nipple, and the inescapable panic made my pectoral muscles twitch—not because I wanted to, but because he wanted me to, and I obeyed.

His other hand traced my abdomen, meticulously picking at each muscle.

Oh! His fingers brushed past my navel, sending a tingling sensation that shot through my throat, or perhaps my tongue? My mouth involuntarily opened, wanting to cry out, so wanting to scream. His

hand slid across my lower abdomen, and finally… oh! He was tugging at my pubic hair, pulling, but it didn't hurt at all. Perhaps it did hurt, but that pain was tempered by fervor, becoming stimulating. His fingernail seemed to accidentally scratch my penis; I gasped and flinched, but the scratch was so stimulating that my penis involuntarily twitched, stretching even more.

He began kissing my face, my neck, my chin; his hands left my chest, he caressed my navel; his hands no longer hesitated, he cupped my penis in his palms, those palms were so soft and warm; his kneading left a shiver on the glans, and the shiver rose upwards, carrying a soreness, then flew over my pounding heart, guiding the spasms from all directions, passing through my throat, stirring my tongue, and then forming a swirling vortex in my head, enveloping me. I felt so light, floating without support, as if I were flying, he was carrying me… His hands supported my scrotum, kneading it. My testicles received warmth, received comfort, a completely new kind of wonder! His fingertips scraped my perineum, his fingertips scraped my… He was carefully examining those textures…

I involuntarily convulsed, what I had imagined became reality at this moment, I just hadn't expected it to be this intense. He made me moan "Oh, oh," a sound I never expected, never before. But it felt so good!

His lips moved, his tongue leaving a cool sensation on my neck, then landing on my shoulder, sliding, exploring my shoulder blades. It gathered in the groove between my backs, flowing down my spine, tasting me bit by bit, causing my muscles to twist and twitch. He licked my lower back—so sore, so itchy! His… his lips finally touched my buttocks. He gave a quick suck, then opened his cherry lips and left a stinging sensation on my buttocks with his pearly teeth. Oh! He came, his tongue probing into the crevice of my buttocks.

I involuntarily contracted my buttocks, clamping that nimble tongue between them. His warm breath flowed through my buttocks, and I relaxed my muscles again—it felt so good. His tongue came over, he enveloped it with his lips, then gently pressed the tip of his tongue against the soft folds of flesh. He swirled it, and I cried out, actively arching my back and opening my mouth…

I wanted him so badly! I wanted him right now! I knew what pleasure felt like, how pleasurable ejaculation was, I couldn't take it anymore! I wondered, should I bring myself pleasure first, or should I bring him pleasure first? I didn't know, I had no experience with this, what should I do? I'd rather be led by him, but I really wanted it.

He made me turn around, he gazed at my penis, his fingers deftly peeled back my foreskin, revealing the bright red glans, then his lips landed on my glans, giving it a kiss with a crisp "smack"… His cherry lips parted, forming a wonderful "O" shape.

I watched, watching my glans disappear into those tender lips, as he opened them. Oh, it was a cool sensation, his saliva moistened my flame, and his tongue entwined around me, the tip of his tongue flicking through the shy crevice between my glans, then returning, then he spread his tongue and pressed it down, his lips tightly enveloping my penis, sucking. My belly was protruding, my face and body were covered in sweat, my body hair felt like it was about to fall out with the sweat, but I didn't care, I wanted this, I wanted to continue, until that moment, to explode.

His head moved, his lips and tongue moved too, he swallowed and exhaled, his hands circled around, cupped my buttocks, and kneaded them, his fingertips still lingering in the crevice of my buttocks, he obediently teased my anus, he was arousing me, all of me…

I leaned tightly against the bamboo, letting the bamboo press against my face, I greedily took it all. My body was trembling, uncontrollable, but it felt good. I felt like I was bound, bound tightly by that swirling pleasure. I was so soft, so light, as if I could be blown away by the wind at any moment, was that his doing?

I'm here! Don't leave me! How can I live without you? You…

When I reached out to embrace him, there was nothing.

My body was still writhing, the friction soothing my aching muscles, the indifferent limbs comforting me. My left hand was still on his penis, wet and sticky. I had already climaxed, my body still convulsing slightly, exhausted.

A cool breeze blew on my face, bamboo leaves swayed before my eyes, and through the gaps in the leaves was the deep, unfathomable night.

He wasn't beside me; I had just fallen into another slumber.

A boundless feeling of loss and emptiness enveloped me. The climax seemed to have fueled these maddening emotions, tearing me apart.

I can't live without him! I know that all too well.

When did I become so passive? Was I waiting for him to grant my desires? Hadn't I always faced my desires with courage? Including the impulse in the snow mountain. The impulse in the snow mountain? What was that? Stop thinking about other things, figure out what's in front of me first! Yes, why am I so cowardly in his presence? My heart is free of all worries; I long to be with him. Why should I just stand there, waiting for him to bestow his favor? Aren't you the sharpest blade sent to earth by heaven? Why am I cowardly?!

"Hey, what are you doing?"

A voice! My God! Who is it?

I followed the sound and saw a beggar sitting on the ground, rubbing his feet. His eyes were so bright, he was so unkempt, yet so smug. I've seen him before.

He saw me? He must have seen me! He knows my secret! He must die!

I pulled the snakes off my body and sat up. I wiped the sweat from my face, trying to erase the turmoil in my heart. I looked at him, expressionless.

This is how I act when I want to kill. I know the easiest way is to strike when the opponent is unprepared. If I'm too aggressive, the opponent will be on guard, making it much more difficult. It's an assassin's instinct.

But I couldn't control my emotions. His gaze seemed curious; he brazenly scrutinized my body, and he even laughed. What the hell was he laughing at? Was it funny? Was he mocking me? Then he deserved to die even more!

"What did you see?"

I tilted my head back, stretched my arms comfortably, and closed my eyes.

"Oh? You're quite open about it. How's it going, comfortable?"

He chuckled, pulling his hand away from rubbing his toes to pick his nose, and even wiggled his toes towards me, looking quite enthusiastic.

"Not bad."

I found my pants, slowly pulled them on, then found my shoes, carefully tied the laces, and re-tied the leg wraps. I wasn't in a hurry to put on my shirt; I could kill someone shirtless.

"Thinking about women?"

He looked at me with interest, still chuckling, but his eyes were a little different.

"Actually, when I think about women, I also... hehe~ They're all men, nothing special."

"What's your name?"

The leg wraps were almost done; almost wasn't enough, they had to be perfect.

"My name is Hong Qi. What's yours?"

I ignored him and focused on tying my leg wraps and regulating my internal energy.

Hong Qi? Right, my destined star. I think I'll never forget that name, maybe never. He's still alive now, so I couldn't kill him back then.

"You don't talk much?"

Hong Qi had already rambled on for a while, as if he were sharing his masturbation experiences with me.

He seemed to be saying that a woman had captured him, and he couldn't forget her, but he didn't have the courage to face her, which was very distressing.

Your damn distress is different from mine, and I don't like listening to your rambling. You'll soon be free of distress because you're going to die. My leg bindings are ready, come on.

I stood up, casually whistling as I sent my snakes to quietly surround Hong Qi, then I squatted down, as if looking for something, but I was actually practicing my "Toad Kung Fu." Of course, I had to go all out. Hong Qi was one of Lin Chaoying's favorites, and he was also here to participate in the Mount Hua Sword Tournament. Moreover…

“Oh, where did all these snakes come from? Tsk tsk, these bamboo vipers taste pretty good, brother, want to try some?”

Hong Qi acted as if nothing was wrong. He seemed quite interested in the snakes, but he pretended to be scared and stood up, glancing at me seemingly unintentionally.

I made my move…

How did that fight end? I can't quite remember. I couldn't kill him; this was a pain in my heart. No matter what, I hated him.

“I heard that the Duan family of Tiannan's One-Finger Divine Skill is unparalleled in the world. Seeing it today, it truly lives up to its reputation.”

Lin Chaoying's clear voice came from the courtyard of Jinglin Temple. My heart started pounding again, and I involuntarily quickened my pace.

"Brother Lin's swordsmanship is truly unique, a rare gem in the martial arts world. Duan Zhixing has also had his eyes opened today. Brother Lin's lightness skill seems to be from the Langhuan Elegant Residence in Luoyang, but as for this swordsmanship, forgive my poor eyesight, I really don't know where it comes from."

He chuckled, pulling his hand away from rubbing his feet to pick his nose, and even wiggled his toes towards me, looking quite excited.

"Not bad."

I found my pants, slowly pulled them on, then found my shoes, carefully tied the shoelaces, and re-tied my leg wraps. I wasn't in a hurry to put on my shirt; I could kill someone shirtless.

"Thinking about women?"

He looked at me with interest, still chuckling, but his eyes were a little different.

"Actually, when I think about women, I also... hehe~ We're all men, nothing special."

"What's your name?"

The leg wraps were almost finished, but almost wasn't enough; they had to be meticulous.

"My name is Hong Qi. What about you?"

I ignored him, focusing only on tying the leg wraps and regulating my internal energy.

Hong Qi? "Oh right, my destined star, I think I'll never forget that name, maybe never. He's still alive now, so I couldn't kill him back then.

" "You don't talk much?"

Hong Qi had already rambled on for a while, as if he were sharing his masturbation experiences with me.

He seemed to be saying that a woman had captured him, and he couldn't forget her, but he didn't have the courage to face her, so he was tormented.

Your torment is different from mine, and I don't like listening to your rambling. You'll soon be free of torment because you're going to die. My leg bindings are ready, come on.

I stood up, casually whistling as I sent my snakes to quietly surround Hong Qi, then I squatted down, seemingly looking for something, but I was actually practicing my "Toad Kung Fu." Of course, I had to go all out. Hong Qi was one of Lin Chaoying's favorites, and he was also here to participate in the Mount Hua Sword Tournament. Moreover…

“Oh, where did all these snakes come from? Tsk tsk, these bamboo vipers taste pretty good, brother, want to try some?”

Hong Qi acted as if nothing was wrong. He seemed quite interested in the snakes, but he pretended to be scared and stood up, glancing at me seemingly unintentionally.

I made my move…

How did that fight end? I can't quite remember. I couldn't kill him; this was a pain in my heart. No matter what, I hated him.

“I heard that the Duan family of Tiannan's One-Finger Divine Skill is unparalleled in the world. Seeing it today, it truly lives up to its reputation.”

Lin Chaoying's clear voice came from the courtyard of Jinglin Temple. My heart started pounding again, and I involuntarily quickened my pace.

"Brother Lin's swordsmanship is truly unique, a rare gem in the martial arts world. Duan Zhixing has also had his eyes opened today. Brother Lin's lightness skill seems to be from the Langhuan Elegant Abode in Luoyang, but as for this swordsmanship, forgive my poor eyesight, I really don't know where it comes from."

It turned out that the fiery young man was named Duan Zhixing, a master of the Duan family of Tiannan.

"This swordsmanship is something I came up with myself for fun. In Brother Duan's eyes, it's laughable."

"Not at all, not at all, Brother Lin is truly talented, I admire you greatly. Although this swordsmanship is still somewhat immature, the ingenuity within is truly rare, and you will surely become a master swordsman in the future."

"Brother Duan, you flatter me, you've spoiled me."

His gaze swept lightly over me, who was standing in front of the temple gate, seemingly without lingering, but a mysterious smile appeared on his face.

Was that for me? What did it mean? I stood there, stunned.

“I also have a rather interesting palm technique, which I’ve named ‘Heavenly Net Style.’ I wonder if Brother Duan would be interested in sparring with it?”

“Excellent!”

Duan Zhixing’s eyes gleamed with excitement, as if this new martial art was the most important thing to him.

Lin Chaoying left; it was already late at night.

I couldn’t control myself; I chased after him.

He rode his white horse at a slow pace, as if surveying the pitch-black night.

I followed, I just followed. Countless times I wanted to stop him, yet countless times I suppressed the urge.

What should I say? That I wanted to be with him? Would that be too arrogant?

If only something happened! For example, if he encountered some danger, I could appear at his most critical moment and make him remember me. But that doesn’t seem right. His martial arts are very high, although not as good as mine, or even the beggar’s or Duan Zhixing’s, but still quite strong. He rarely encounters danger in the martial world.

Was he bitten by a snake? That might be a good idea. It's probably a long shot. How could his martial arts skills be affected by a snake bite? Right, his horse! His horse doesn't know martial arts. Isn't this a bit despicable? Just to get him to give me a second glance, I'll... what's wrong with that? Otherwise, I'm worried he'll just disappear from my life. He really seems to ignore me. I can't tolerate being ignored, especially by him, so I'll do it! I can't betray myself!

Summoning the snake isn't difficult; I have many methods, I'm ready.

He stopped, disrupting my plans.

"What are you doing, sneaking around following me?" He smiled, turning his face towards me from his horse.

All my plans were ruined, my mind was a mess, all I could do was gasp for breath. I just looked at him, my ears ringing, my limbs weak, and my body trembling. I looked so pathetic, but I couldn't help it, not at all. That ethereal light shone on me; he was smiling at me, his gaze so gentle.

"Do you like sneaking around like this? Don't forget, you're a hero."

A hero? My God! That was his assessment of me, more valuable than ten thousand taels of gold, more precious than priceless jade, more important than any praise! I felt so light, so floating, I gasped for breath, and I walked towards him uncontrollably, like a puppet controlled by him, and I wished it were so.

"What's wrong? Your face is so red."

He stopped smiling, dismounted from his white horse, his hand on the reins, and for the first time, he focused his gaze on me so intently—on my face, in my eyes, for the first time, I was in his eyes.

My mouth was dry, I was panting heavily, my chest heaving violently.

Closer, closer, I couldn't get any closer, or I would offend him, wouldn't I? He seemed a little displeased with my closeness and stopped.

"You like me?"

he suddenly said.

Like a thunderbolt, like lightning, where does lightning and thunder come from on a clear night? Really, I wasn't lying at all, it just felt like being hit. My eyes can't leave his smiling phoenix eyes, my eyes can't leave his playful cherry lips, can't leave the faint smile lingering at the corners of his mouth, can't leave the dimple on his left cheek that's so captivating. They're all mine! He knows I like him! Oh my god! What should I do? What should I say? Where should I put my hands?

He stopped smiling, looking at me curiously again, a little worried.

"Are you sad?"

Am I sad? I just feel breathless, my head is spinning, and all I can hear is "You like me? You like me? You like..." Am I sad? I just feel a tingling sensation in my limbs, my blood is rushing around, making me want to float away, so light. Am I sad? Not at all! Being here with him like this, I'm practically dying of joy! Am I sad? A little. Just now I was thinking of some naughty idea, just now I wanted to offend him. If I had known he understood me this well, I... I really regret it.

"Silly girl, I'm ignoring you, I'm leaving."

His divine light flickered, a smile playing on his lips and eyes. Those mesmerizing dimples made my heart flutter again. He left behind a radiant, slightly reproachful smile. His hand gripped the bridle, his foot braced in the stirrups. He was about to...

my entire body tensed, and I leaped forward. I don't know where the courage came from, but I grabbed him tightly from behind...

I can't describe the feeling; everything went blank, only the sensation in my arms...

I fell. I ignored his martial arts skills, ignored his purity. I was helpless. His elbow strikes and whirling kicks instantly left several marks on my ribs and forehead. I was already dazed, and hadn't even thought to resist. Before him, I was defenseless.

"I'll kill you!"

His eyebrows shot up, his face flushed crimson, his gaze unfocused. Besides anger, there was a hint of shyness, a touch of panic. His lips trembled, his jaw... He held the sword, but he didn't seem to have become the sword-like phantom of the night.

Death? I hadn't thought about it. But dying by his sword, I had. That scene was in my wild fantasies; I was frantically out of control. I had offended him, and he had become the sword, freeing me from my longing. Would it hurt? I didn't know.

Since mastering martial arts, I'd forgotten what injury felt like, let alone the sensation of a sword piercing my body. Perhaps it would feel cool? Maybe. I felt my blood was burning too hot, almost unbearable.

"Aren't you afraid of death?"

His sword hesitated, his gaze unfocused.

"Can't you say something! Are you mute?!"

He threw the sword to the ground, turned around, stamped his foot, covered his face with his hands, his shoulders trembling.

What was wrong with him? Why had his voice changed? Why did he suddenly lose his chivalrous demeanor? He…? But none of that matters; I must do as he says.

“Kill me, killing me won’t change the fact that I love you.”

He finally said it, and it felt so good! I was so excited I almost fainted, really.

IV. Willing to Do It for You

I thought I saw her again, I thought.

It was somewhat similar, that expression was somewhat similar.

My mind was racing, my heart was soaring, my breath… everything was so clear, as if I had returned to that time, as if a time machine had carried me back to my past to find myself. The person I was in the past was like that; I could love, I could be infatuated, I could be troubled, I could… Now, why am I only left with troubles?

The leaping flames illuminated my face, flickering in my eyes.

The wind was still there, the rain was still there, the dilapidated temple still swaying in the wind and rain.

But the people before me were different; they were young.

Their youth was truly enviable, so enviable it almost drove me mad. How wonderful it is to be young, so intense and reckless, even if you make a mistake, you can still make amends, because there is time to make amends. Time is a luxury for young people, but can it truly make up for lost time? No.

The proud young girl's eyes grew increasingly sorrowful as she stared intently at Lu Zhanyuan, whose face was taut with emotion.

That gaze... I knew it so well, so intense yet helpless, filled with expectation, waiting, and resentment...

The young woman named Yuanzhi was hidden from view by Lu Zhanyuan's tall figure. What was she thinking?

A hint of panic flickered in Lu Zhanyuan's eyes. He stood between Yuanzhi and the young girl, his brow furrowed. He avoided looking at the girl, trembling slightly with nervousness.

"Zhanyuan, you left me because of her?"

Tears welled in the young girl's eyes. She bit her lip tightly, trying to control her grief, but her nose was red, her face pale, her lips twitching, and her eyes seemed about to break.

"Don't worry... love is gone, affection is gone, our fate is over, you should know that. Lu Zhanyuan is just a roughneck, he's not worthy of you..."

"Is that so? Love is gone, affection is truly gone, our fate is over, over?"

The girl lowered her head, swayed, reached out to hold onto the pillar beside her, and pressed her head against the back of her hand, as if seeking support.

A moment later.

The girl raised her head, her eyebrows arched, her gaze fixed intently on Lu Zhanyuan, letting the broken pearl fall, drift, and shatter.

"In what way am I inferior to her? You say I'm not as beautiful as He Yuanzhi? My figure is not as good as hers? My martial arts are not as good as hers? My heart for you..." "

Don't worry!" Lu Zhanyuan lowered his head deeply, his body trembling violently. "Yuanzhi is indeed inferior to you in every way, and I am inferior to you in every way, I..."

"Hahaha~" The girl laughed, her laughter tinged with sobs, mixed with the mournful sounds of wind and rain, capable of piercing the soul.

"Mo Chou, don't hurt yourself like this." Lu Zhanyuan involuntarily took a step forward, but when he landed, he trembled and straightened his body, his hands clenched into fists.

He Yuanzhi's hand reached out, stopping in mid-air. She didn't grab Lu Zhanyuan's clothes; tears streamed down her

face. Who else had this story happened to? Who? I racked my brains, trying desperately, but I couldn't remember. But I knew I had seen it before, I really had! It was this relative helplessness.

Damn fate! Who set these rules? How much is fate worth per pound? Huh? Can someone tell me? I like her, why can't we be together? Why? Damn it! Did I hurt her? Or did she hurt me? Is it necessary to find that answer? Won't finding it make it even more painful? Maybe, I have that experience.

"You like me?"

Who? Who's talking to me? Why does that voice sound so familiar? I'll never forget that voice.

Where am I? Where?

Where's the wind? It's still there, but why isn't it so cold anymore?

Where did the rain go? Where's the dilapidated temple? It's collapsed?

What happened to me?

Who's standing in front of me? That night-like green robe, those astonished eyes, that Wushuang face still bearing traces of shyness and embarrassment, the sword lying at my feet, cold as water.

Where is that little girl named Mochou? Where are Lu Zhanyuan and He Yuanzhi?

I'm back, the girl from my dreams, she's now a man who holds me tightly. It's so good to see her again.

"I like her."

These words came from my mouth, I didn't know my voice could be so low and resolute. It turns out that expressing one's inner feelings takes a lot of courage, and when the strength is focused on the decision, the voice becomes low.

It really takes a lot of courage. He's stood before me, and in my heart for so long. He's dressed in a flowing blue robe, incredibly handsome and dashing—a truly charming young man. And me? I've thought about him for so long, and the worst part is, I'm… I'm also a man.

I know saying this is shocking. A man liking another man—isn't that a dream? But what can I do? I like him, and I don't want to deceive myself. I miss him, I crave his kisses and his touch countless times, and I want to touch his body countless times… I can't lie to myself, and I can't lie to him either. What would happen if I told him? What if he rejects me? I don't know if anyone can replace him in my heart.

Actually, someone can. Passion changes with time and circumstances. Everything fades with time—not forgotten, but indifferent. I have that experience.

Passion can be crushed by external pressures: contempt, misunderstanding, estrangement from friends, and disgust from family. The more you experience these, the more you start to feel guilty, as if you've committed a heinous crime. I have this experience.

But I can't control myself. I don't want to think about the future; I must face myself honestly now. I like him, that's right. I want to touch him, I want to be with him—that's all right, that's just how I feel.

I thought it, I said it, so what's wrong with that? Who said I was wrong? What I do is none of your business! God? You damn God, come down here and have a real showdown with me! You use your Five Finger Mountain, I'll use my Flame, let's have a real showdown! Damn it! You think I'm afraid of you? You're afraid of me, aren't you?! Pshaw! Does it matter who's afraid of whom? The important thing is that I can't deceive myself.

When I said it, I felt incredibly courageous, both light and heavy. I knew I had to bear everything I said, including the punishment. I was prepared.

He stared intently into my eyes, as if in disbelief.

I felt no fear; this was the first time I had faced him so openly. His eyes—he was so beautiful. He had ignited my fire, and I needed him to extinguish it, I needed him.

His eyes held me, and mine surely held him too. He had been dancing in my heart for so long, so very long… I was about to lose control!

My worst fears hadn't come true; he hadn't mocked me. He was so kind!

He was just a little flustered; his eyes were darting around, his lips moved as if he didn't know what to say, his chest heaved, he gasped for breath, trying to evade the flames I was burning within him. Was he afraid of me?

I remained calm. My eyes were burning with desire, my lips moved as if I didn't know what to say, my chest heaved, I gasped for breath, trying to capture his elusive heart. I wanted him!

"Don't come any closer!"

His hand braced against my chest, his other hand supporting his forehead. He closed his eyes, turning his face away, a strand of soft hair sliding down to obscure half his cheek. He was trying to hide behind it, becoming hazy, dreamlike, and uncertain.

I grabbed his hand, afraid he would slip away from my sight again. His hand was so soft, but a little cold. Would it warm up? With my body heat.

He panicked, trying hard to pull his hand away.

I wouldn't let go, holding his hand to my heart, letting him know how pounding my heart was, all for him.

"Let go! Let go! Let me go!"

His face flushed red; he couldn't look me in the eye, he just struggled to break free.

"See, I'm real."

I stubbornly held his hand to my heart.

His left palm struck down, slashing my shoulder.

What's wrong with me? Why does half of my body suddenly feel numb? The scenery before my eyes seems to be changing? Have I fallen? My fingers were slipping from his hand? Were his hands really that slippery? They were indeed slippery, smooth, and soft, but not slippery at all. This was the first time I had touched his skin, his hands…

“No…no!” He grabbed the saddle and leaped onto his horse. He bit his lip, afraid to look at me, only glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “You? You…” His gaze fell on me; he saw me lying stiffly on the ground.

I lay there stiffly, staring intently at him, motionless. I wasn’t hurt, but my heart was a little broken. He was rejecting me. His rejection fueled my burning desire even more. I couldn’t control my urges anymore; I wanted it now, regardless of whether he wanted it or not! Yes! I’ll do it. I think I can do it. I’ve seen how others do it; it shouldn’t be a problem for me. I just need to be gentle.

I didn't move because I wanted to succeed quickly. Although he was a little flustered, he was still a highly skilled martial artist. If we started fighting, who knew when it would end? It would create an irreparable rift between us. I planned to ambush him, provided he didn't leave immediately.

He didn't leave; he sat on his horse, looking somewhat lost. I couldn't quite understand his emotions. He seemed very troubled, very angry, and at the same time, somewhat concerned about me. His gaze was unfocused.

"Hey, are you really done for?" He dismounted. "You can't be that bad, can you? I just... did I go too far? You can't mess with me." He saw my face suddenly turn red, my chest and abdomen heaving violently, and my eyes filled with pain. He was a little nervous. He knew his internal energy was special, and that palm strike just now had used seven-tenths of his power. Could he have really injured me? He reached out to check my pulse...

I sat up, my thoughts becoming incredibly frantic, but seeing his chaotic eyes, I really couldn't bear to touch him.

I couldn't hear what he was saying at all. He was trying very hard to speak to me. I saw his lips moving, and I saw his face was very red. He was anxious and angry, but he couldn't move.

My pressure point technique is very special. No matter how high your martial arts skills are, if you don't know the trick, you can't release the pressure points yourself. He's already in my hands, that's a fact right in front of me. I can't let someone else run into me on the main road, it would be so embarrassing. There won't be anyone here in the middle of the night, I can't wait any longer. Oh no, there are so many small stones on this main road, it'll definitely hurt. Yes, I'll go to the woods next door to get some, the grass there looks quite soft.

I reached out and lifted him up by the knees, supporting his neck with one hand, and carried him horizontally. He's so light and soft, his legs... Through the fabric of his pants, I could feel the softness of his legs, the sensation on my fingertips was very different, it definitely felt soft, even though his legs were also firm. This contact made my breathing and heartbeat accelerate exponentially, my God! How many times has this happened! I want to fulfill my dream. When I masturbate, he's all I can think about, right now...

Is this really how it has to be? Am I really going to hurt him? He's stopped talking, stopped looking at me, his head is drooping, his body is unresponsive. I hear something soft falling, splashing onto the yellow earth. His neck is stretched out, turned crimson, so supple, the veins on his neck are visible, pulsating. His jaw is twitching, his hands hang down, he's so fragile. Is this really how it has to be? Am I going to satisfy my desires on him? I want it so badly, so badly! I can't control myself, I can't help it! My penis is already erect, my body is already in a state of arousal. What other way do I have to get him? I have no other way.

I let him lean against a tree trunk, I let him into my arms, I pressed my body against his. Oh! This body is so soft! My hands are on his back, my hands are restlessly stroking his body, I feel the resistance, and a feeling more wonderful than I imagined. I… he's crying, just silently crying. His gaze was empty and unfocused, his face was so cold, his lips were stubbornly closed, and his lips were so cold too, along with those troubled tremors… Ah! Ah—what should I do!

“You are a devil.” His voice coldly reminded me in my ear.

I froze. Yes, this wasn’t the first time someone had said that to me.

I remember that summer day, I remember her… After I left her body, she seemed a little dazed.

There was a long silence, I feel like a very long time.

The ecstasy and exhaustion in my body still lingered, my heart was in turmoil, and I was so controlled by my infatuation that I violated the goddess in my heart. I violated her, but it was very good. How good? I still can’t say.

But at that moment, throughout that entire process, I broke free from the struggle. I had no scruples, no constraints. I was joyful, wild, and intoxicated. I savored her tender skin, her warmth, the slightly salty liquid—her tears, her saliva, her bodily fluids, the passion ignited by my wildness, and her struggle. It was wonderful. I could also feel my struggle. Every inch of that tender skin I touched felt like a crime.

Since I had done it, I felt no guilt, but it seemed everyone thought I was committing a crime, and even I was starting to believe it myself. She probably thought so too; she seemed to be the wife of a man with whom I had a very intimate relationship, it seemed so. A wife should be faithful; it seemed like a matter of course, and indeed it was.

But I couldn't help being attracted to her; I couldn't control my desire for her. I wanted her; only then could I be happy. She didn't seem to have truly escaped my raging fire either; she had just… she had also forgotten something and broken free in that moment, though she woke up a little earlier than me, and her expression was one of weeping and remorse.

Seeing her tears, my heart broke a little too. I was happy, but I had shattered something she had always held dear; had I hurt her?

I went over and let her lean on my shoulder. She initially resisted, but immediately pressed her cool body against my chest, letting my arms encircle her.

"I will take responsibility for what I've done…"

"No!" She broke free in panic, reaching out to cover my lips, her eyes pleading, "Please, second brother, don't…

don't what?" I couldn't remember. We seemed to be discussing a very serious topic, the center of which seemed to be a man.

"Then, don't blame yourself, I will leave, I will bear the blame."

I put on my clothes; I couldn't bear her pain. I felt my existence was a mistake; I had disturbed her life, hurt her, so I should leave.

"No!" She lunged at me, grabbing my leg. "Don't leave me, Second Brother."

I was confused. My existence caused both of us pain, so why wouldn't she let me leave?

"Don't go. I can't betray him, but I can't live without you either. I need you."

Is that so? Why are you so contradictory? You've made me conflicted too. How are we supposed to continue our days?

How are we going to spend them? It seems like a very exciting time. We're constantly looking for opportunities to hide. Yes, constantly looking for opportunities. We're like mice hiding in the dark, unable to see the light. We pretend to be innocent most of the time, but as soon as that man isn't around, or his gaze isn't on us, my hand and hers, my body and hers, we're intertwined. "We must share the burden of sin." That's what she said. The more she said it, the more I believed it. I believed it was sin, but I suddenly discovered that sin is a really exciting feeling, incredibly exciting.

There's a shadow, but that shadow seems to fascinate me. My heart is burdened, burdened by that shadow, so I try to find a way to escape its pursuit: sex, blood, money, desire. Heh heh~ Funny, isn't it? She's the same. She's the first, and perhaps only, woman I've ever met who, beneath her pristine, ethereal beauty, harbors desire and dares to confront it. Her courage makes it impossible for me to refuse. Actually, it was this naive, arrogant boy of mine who brought out her courage, but she didn't run away, so she's very important to me.

A devil, I'm a devil, that's what she said. She's the first person to say that about me. She said I frighten her, yet she can't abandon me. Why? She didn't tell me.

He said the same about me, and I haven't… I'm still struggling, and I've already become a devil?

What am I struggling with? I'm not quite sure. My desires are urging me on, my heart is pitying him, and in my head, a voice is trying to summon me back, to stop me from going too crazy, but I can't control myself. I'm turning my back on the life under the spotlight; it seems I'd rather seek darkness.

Liking a boy is like seeking darkness? I don't know. Wanting to rape him is like seeking darkness? I can't understand! He attracts me so much, leaving me nowhere to hide. In the meantime, to relieve my sexual desire, I went to brothels, I sought out prostitutes, but my mind was only on him; sex became tedious, truly.

In the meantime, to relieve my sexual desire, I masturbated, and I also used familiar snakes to entwine my body. The process was addictive, but afterwards I felt so empty. Now, he's right in front of me, I can do whatever I want, how can I…?

Am I a devil? If I stubbornly persist, will he react like her? It's possible, I have experience.

I cup his face in my hands, gazing at him. The feeling in my hands is so strange; I can feel his tense trembling, see his panicked eyes, taste his frantic evasiveness.

I move closer, gently licking his cheek, starting gently from his forehead, then his eyebrows.

Oh, I love his proud eyebrows. Now, those gently slanted eyebrows leave an unforgettable sensation on my tongue, bringing a slightly astringent taste.

Oh, I love his eyes, those proud and bright phoenix eyes. His eyelids are moving slightly, his pupils are moving, and his eyelashes are moving too! I gently hold his eyelashes in my mouth and use my tongue to embellish them, gently caressing his restless, rolling pupils.

Oh, I love his straight nose. His nostrils are flaring tensely, and the tip of his nose is cool. I cover his small, delicate nose with my lips, gently licking it with my tongue, and then licking his nostrils. I can clearly feel

his breathing become rapid. He seems to have given up resistance. His eyelids are lowered, his lips are moving, and his breath has become a little hot.

Oh, I love his lips so much, so soft and moist. I sucked on his upper lip, savoring it thoroughly, gently holding it between my teeth and licking it. When I released it, his upper lip bounced back, and I saw that intoxicating crimson. His disordered eyes flickered slightly, a little eerie. What was he thinking? I couldn't care less; I went for his lower lip.

My hand felt the smoothness and trembling of his skin, and that wonderfully tenderness. My hand trembled, sliding along his cheek, afraid to use too much force. I was worried that if I used too much force, I would hurt him; he was so tender.

Because of the movement of my hand, his lips also moved. He didn't seem to resist my kiss; his jaw was pried open by my tongue… I could hear his breathing, smell that sweet, warm scent, hear his heartbeat and mine, I could almost hear the sound of our skin rubbing together, I could almost hear the sound of our pores expanding.

My hand slid to his neck, I could clearly feel his pulse, his softness, his neck was so slender and beautiful, that pulse was so wonderful, his neck was already a little warm, very warm.

I heard the wonderful sound rolling in his throat, I heard the murmur gathering at the tip of his nose, I tasted his sweet, cool saliva, I caught his tongue.

Oh, this tongue is so fragrant and tender, he was still trying to dodge, he couldn't dodge. My tongue kept chasing, found the root of his tongue, then licked along his tongue, then teased his tongue...

"Hmm~" His murmur finally came out, his tongue finally submitted, his lips were no longer so helplessly resisting, it seemed he was kissing me back!

His breath was warm, his cheeks were hot, his body... his gaze instantly became hazy, dreamy, and at the same time, intense.

My hand was on his shoulder, and another hand slid inside his collar, I felt that delicate skin, felt that slight tremor.

Suddenly, he began to resist. He bit me with all his might!

It hurt!

I covered my mouth; I couldn't bear to face him. I came to my senses; the pain extinguished my lust, but I was unwilling to give up.

Strangely, he seemed to be thinking about something, and he seemed very serious.

The night wind was cool, leaving a jumble of noise as it rustled through the treetops. The forest at night was mysterious, filled with dark shadows, making one worry that a terrifying hand might reach out and snatch someone away.

The night sky was lively, with clouds swirling and changing shape at will. The moon wandered among the clouds, then hid, and darkness descended. Shyly, it peeked out, leaving behind a sliver of bashful, alluring light, as if secretly peeking at something that made her blush. She giggled sweetly, then hid again, but couldn't resist, and so, at some point, peeked out from behind the clouds to look once more…

A white horse grazed leisurely outside the forest, occasionally peering curiously into the woods with its pure, clear eyes. A nocturnal animal darted through the treetops, startling the roosting birds, who began to chatter…

“What do you want—”

Lin Chaoying suddenly shouted at me with all his might. His cherry lips still bore the rosy hue of our passionate kiss, his pearly teeth gleamed in the occasional glimpses of moonlight, his phoenix eyes were tightly closed, his brows were furrowed, and his nose…

“I want you!”

I didn't hesitate, though I bit my tongue, making my words a little hesitant, but my eyes showed no doubt.

"Please, let me go, we can't be together."

Tears streamed down his face. His vulnerability and fragility were so...

I was stunned. It wasn't the first time I'd seen him cry, but I never expected him to cry like a little girl. He made me want to protect him, to hug him, but I didn't want to hurt him.

"I really like you. You can see my heart if you want."

I couldn't control myself. I couldn't let him suffer anymore, I couldn't. I went over and released his pressure points, then ripped open my clothes, exposing my chest. Sure enough, my heart was pounding, "thump, thump..." It was mine...

He covered his face and slowly slumped down against the tree trunk, sobbing.

It's over, it's over! My heart sank, I was completely lost. I was at a loss. This was all my fault. I hurt him. I hated myself. I wanted to wipe away his tears, but I didn't have the right. I was despicable, disgusting, I... Where was his sword? Give it to him, let him stab me to death!

I burst into tears, then found a tree and banged my head against the trunk. My head is fucking tough; it seems fine even after all that banging. Oh, a little scrape, some blood, but it doesn't hurt much, and the blood actually feels quite nice flowing out. I'm such a fucking idiot!

"Hey! Hey!" he called from behind, throwing something on the back of my neck.

His eyes were still brimming with tears, but his clear eyes seemed less sad now. He looked at me, seemingly curious, even though he was still sobbing and his nose was red.

"You bullied me, why are you crying?"

Amidst the desolate scene of my tearful tears, he strangely revealed a bright and dazzling smile.

I was stunned. Yeah, why the hell am I crying? Regret? Seeing that strange smile, I felt none at all; now I felt even more regret.

"Don't come any closer!"

He panicked, quickly curling himself into a ball, forgetting his superior martial arts skills. He even gripped his collar tightly, his legs clamped together, like a frightened little girl. His eyes...

I was a little dizzy; my usually bright eyes were completely clouded. This was the perfect time for someone to kill me. I knelt down with a thud, not even knowing what I was doing.

He just stared at me curiously, motionless.

For a long time.

"Disgusting? You hate me, don't you?" I wanted to say something, but I couldn't look at him. His expression shifted and changed unpredictably; I couldn't understand it.

"Yes."

"But I really can't control myself. That's just how I am... I like you, I want you, I'm going crazy thinking about you. I think despicably... I can't control myself..." Was I rambling a bit?

"I know," he replied calmly, without looking at me. His face was hidden between his knees; even a god couldn't know what he was thinking.

"You know?" I knelt up, staring intently at him, trying to see into the deepest recesses of his phoenix eyes. I simply couldn't believe it. What did he mean?

"Today, I'm here to seduce you, to seduce you, to use me."

"Huh?" I felt like my head was about to explode.

I'm not stupid. I've fallen in love with him, I know. I also know he seems to have something going on with those few idiots who participated in the Mount Hua Sword Tournament, but I didn't know he was here to seduce me, to use me. My God! He knows everything, even the deepest infatuation I have for him.

My God! I like boys, and he knows! What am I going to do? What's the panic? Doesn't everyone know you like a boy? So what if you like him? What the hell are you panicking about? It seems I can't say that. Besides him, I don't seem to have any feelings for other boys. Like that incredibly handsome, arrogant guy, I spent all my time with him, but I never said I wanted to kiss him. I just like the guy in front of me. Does that mean if I like one person, I can't like another? It's so complicated! How did I get into such a mess?

I'm not stupid, I just fell in love with him. I don't know if I'm stupid or not?

He looked up, not at me, just staring blankly into the empty space. He stood there, stunned, his left hand supporting his cheek, tears still streaming down his face.

I froze too. I couldn't resist admiring the beauty before me; he was like clear crystal… Yes, crystal. Magnificent, elegant, transparent, and mysterious at the same time. My knowledge has grown again… What lies behind his purity? I have a rough idea, but I don't want to be sure. I'd rather he stay like this, like crystal in my heart.

Suddenly, he covered his face again and sobbed.

He really was crystal, yet so easily hurt.

But I really can't figure him out. He seems to be able to control his emotions at will, crying when he wants to cry, laughing when he wants to laugh. I can't. I can't even remember how many times I've cried today, and I don't think I've laughed much either. I think a man should be able to control himself. I was just so remorseful for being so pathetic, and I genuinely felt sorry for him. But… but I can’t avoid him anymore. I’ve discovered that he’s someone who shines brighter the closer you get to him—his mystery, his stubbornness, his versatility, his enigmatic motives, and his current vulnerability. My God! I feel hopeless!

V. A Shocking Turn of Events

“I’m better now, come on over.”

Lin Chaoying adjusted his emotions to a completely new state in a short instant. He turned slightly to the side, dabbed at the tears at the corner of his eye with his sleeve, and then…

the moon just then cast a wisp of light over him, illuminating the wisp of light dancing in the wind. The light scattered across his face, flickering and changing, a play of light and shadow. His shoulders looked so thin in the moonlight, as did his neck, and the glint of light he cast over me from the corner of his eye. He seemed like a completely different person. He was alluring, yet also enigmatic…

He’s better? Better at what? Yes, he stopped sobbing, the tears stopped flowing. He seemed to have made a very important decision…

to let me come over? To what? Could it be...? I felt incredibly excited, almost unbearably so.

But I couldn't understand why my emotions couldn't shift as quickly as his. I could only stare at Lin Chaoying, dreamlike in the moonlight.

His brow furrowed slightly, he sighed softly, and then he looked at me with a gaze that ignited all my passion; his eyes seemed to mingle with the moonlight.

I understood. I almost lost control.

He was there, waiting for me.

Closer, drawing nearer.

My hand froze in mid-air, just a short distance from his cheek; I could even feel his warmth, even the movement of his skin.

He must know, right? His eyelids closed, slowly, his eyelashes covering the last glimmer of light left for me, leaving only... a blush on his cheeks, his face relaxed, beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous! I looked at his lips, moist and slightly moving.

So close, I could feel his warm breath on my fingertips. His breath brushed against the back of my hand, sending a shiver down my spine. I could smell his faint, subtle fragrance; he definitely had that kind of subtle scent, I knew it.

His jaw twitched, his neck seemed uneasy, and I could see his slight trembling. I could see his chest heaving more and more violently as my fingers approached, his shoulders seemed to shrink involuntarily, his hands gripped the grass tightly, his legs were pressed tightly together, guarding him…

My hand froze in mid-air, just a short distance from his cheek. I hesitated. Was this real? It was real, he was waiting for me. He really…? Stop overthinking, didn't I want to be seduced by him? Yes, I wanted to. Actually, hadn't I already been seduced? I was just waiting for this moment. The moment had come. He didn't scorn my mad desire; he had already agreed with me with his eyes.

Agreed with what? He promised to journey with me on the path to overcoming my inner demons. He was ready to quell my burning desire with his body; he was waiting for me, so what was there to hesitate about? Although I had never done it before, I had seen it done, so I should know how; and I kept thinking about it, imagining countless times how we had done it together, so what was there to hesitate about? He was just a hair's breadth away.

He waited quietly, waiting for my touch; I think that's what he was waiting for.

His cheeks began to relax, filled with warmth, despite the lingering tear stains. I didn't care about the tear stains; I felt they were important. Amidst his beauty and allure, the tear stains added a captivating weariness. This weariness was important, and it fit the current situation perfectly; he must also be struggling…

He was getting a little anxious. He knew my fingers were very close, but why hadn't he touched me? His eyelashes fluttered a few times, his brows furrowed a few times, and his eyelids peeked open a little; he saw my gleaming gaze.

"What's wrong with you?"

His lips moved, his voice softened, light and airy, as if he weren't even beside me. His eyes shimmered in the moonlight, and his lips, moving gently, captured my finger. His hand reached out and gently supported my wrist.

The coolness, the warmth, the soft lips, and his ever-changing, lustrous touch. I shivered, a tingling sensation spreading rapidly, yet also slowly, throughout my body. My ears were ringing, my head was spinning, my skin felt endlessly swelling, my muscles and nerves responding to his sucking—he was really sucking my finger! My heart pounded wildly, crashing against my chest, and…

his eyelashes fluttered, his lips moved, his teeth touched my finger, and his tongue… he was…

I didn't know if it was real, I couldn't tell at all. I knew that crazy thoughts were swirling and racing through my body, and I couldn't control myself anymore, I wanted it! I gasped for breath, feeling my body sway as he seemed to blur before me, leaving only his eyes, his lips, and the sensation spreading from my fingertips—a cool, tingling current creeping up from there, an itch! An itch that went straight to my heart, disrupting everything!

The scenery before me seemed both blurry and clear.

The wind blew, loosening his hair, making his clothes appear to flutter. Moonlight shone on his shoulders, his translucent skin reflecting the moon's glow, mirroring my face, my eyes. I stared intently at those fantastical lines—his shoulders, his arms, his chest… My heart pounded, his chest opening towards me, telling me he wanted me too… his abdomen, his… He turned around.

His back was truly beautiful, though somewhat thin, its lines smooth and elegant; his waist, his hips, his legs… Wow! What should I do? " Don't I know how to do it?

" His voice floated softly in my ear again.

His breath brushed against my nose, his lips were leaving my fingers, a thin thread connecting my fingertips to his cherry lips, glistening in the moonlight. His eyes held a shy, hesitant look, and something I didn't know. The blush on his cheeks was dreamlike. His lips, I could still see the delicate tip of his tongue...

I suddenly lunged at him, using all my courage and strength to push him down, press him against me, and then... our lips intertwined, our tongues intertwined, our skin rubbing together made a soft, rustling sound, the air became hot, and he became hot too.

He panicked for only a moment, then his hands encircled me, running down the back of my neck and through my hair. My hair came undone, and his fingers moved freely through it, massaging my head. He pressed my head firmly against his face so that our lips were completely closed.

My tongue swirled, catching his, and I sucked on it, gently holding it with my teeth, licking it with my tongue, sucking hard, exchanging saliva, oblivious to everything.

My body pressed against his; his body was so soft, so warm. His legs seemed a little disoriented, but he didn't pull away. My body was burning, melting me. His body seemed to be burning too, enveloping me like a flame. Where were my hands? Why did his body feel so different, so tender?

My hands found warmth and softness in his waist and ribs. Oh, his waist was so slender, and his hips… Hmm? This feeling felt somewhat familiar? He was just more supple and more delicate. Was it an illusion? My hand roamed, slid, trembling, until I touched his leg, his thigh. His leg flinched, trembling slightly.

So soft! It felt so different from touching my own legs; even through his pants, I could feel its smooth, supple texture, its delicate softness. My hand touched his buttocks! I felt his muscles twitch, but it still had that delicate, tender texture, that wonderful elasticity. He…?

I propped myself up, panting as I gazed at him.

He was panting too, his gaze wandering. He hesitated, then bit his lower lip, turning his head away, his chest heaving… His hair was loose, his long, glossy black hair cascading down, a strand swept by the wind, casting shifting light and shadow on his slender, jade-like face… I saw a small, indistinct hole in his delicate earlobe. What was

happening? Everything was in chaos! Had this mad infatuation really, really blinded me? I'm not stupid! If I were stupid, why would my martial arts skills be so high? If I were stupid, why would I become the most dangerous assassin in the Western Regions, even the entire world? I'm still stupid! What blinded me? Is fate playing a cruel joke on me? I don't regret it at all. Actually, this is a gift to me, and it also soothed my almost completely twisted madness. I…! My head felt a sudden relaxation, and even my body seemed to relax. This was completely unexpected, although I wasn't afraid of my inner panic, after all, I was a little flustered. Now, I don't need to panic anymore. I've fallen in love with such a wonderful girl, her name is Lin Chaoying.

Is it true? The answer, I desperately need this answer!

My hand rested on her chest, and her body trembled violently. She looked at me in alarm, and her hand grabbed my wrist with lightning speed.

What's going on? What is that? It's flat, but it's not a physical sensation, what is it?

Her eyelids slowly closed, and her hand only gently held my wrist. She turned her face away and lay there obediently. Her chest heaved even more violently, as if I could hear her pounding heart. She tried hard to control her breathing, biting her lip tightly.

I can't describe the feeling in my heart at this moment; it was a mixture of ecstasy and disappointment, perhaps both, but what I was clearer about was a sense of relaxed joy, a pity in my heart, and an even stronger longing. She was the one I had been waiting for, I felt it was her. Why was I so irresistibly captivated by her? I still couldn't figure it out. It couldn't just be her appearance, could it? She was beautiful, but not the kind of beauty that could instantly capture my heart with her stunning looks, and besides, I had always… I was so foolish! Was it because of her pride? Her exceptional talent? It didn't seem like that. Then what was it? I couldn't figure it out, and the more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Really, this must be fate, right? I was inexplicably captivated. It seemed like that was it.

She secretly glanced at me again, then immediately looked away. Perhaps my expression was too strange, because she looked at me again, and with such curiosity.

The frantic impulse transformed into tenderness in that moment. Truly, I felt as if I were immersed in warm, soothing water; I became so much more clear-headed, so much gentler.

I leaned down and pressed myself against her again, my lips landing on her forehead, a gentle kiss. My tongue glided across her forehead, landing on her eyelashes, lightly licking her delicate eyelids, feeling the movement of her pupils. Then, I stroked down her nose, gently nibbling at the tip…

“Uh,” she hummed softly, her eyelashes, now moistened by my touch, opening as she looked at me with a puzzled expression. She seemed calmer now; she sensed my change.

I gently cupped her face, pressing her cheeks flat with my palms. And so, perhaps the most handsome Pigsy in the world was born—her lips involuntarily pursed.

I kissed her, exploring her lips.

She seemed to be trembling. Her hand was on my waist, gently stroking my back, her hand shaking. Her gaze seemed to have changed, becoming somewhat panicked, and a little troubled.

I could accept any change in her now; I liked those changes that intoxicated me, I liked them.

I smiled gently, gently kissing her lips, involuntarily closing my eyes, quietly enjoying her.

The tenderness lasted only a brief moment. I hadn't expected her to initiate it; actually, I really wanted to just savor this blissful feeling. Suddenly,

she pulled away from me.

"Just do it already! Don't be so hesitant, isn't that what you men are supposed to do?"

She pushed me away, sat up, and began to loosen her belt, preventing me from seeing her face.

What was happening? I didn't understand. At the same time, her actions were truly unbelievable.

A very uncomfortable feeling washed over me, as if I had been doused with a bucket of cold water from head to toe; the tenderness and desire seemed to have vanished without a trace in that instant. A cold feeling lingered in my heart.

What was she doing? Was she humiliating me? No, she was just doing something she considered important. Tonight, she was the protagonist, and I was merely a pathetic little character blinded by love. Having sex with me was just a step in her plan, wasn't it? Strange, why did my mind suddenly clear? Actually, I'd already thought of this, hadn't I? I just didn't want to think about it. Now, she was just revealing the mystery I didn't want to accept, wasn't she?

I felt so cold, so cold I was shivering. I was also a little scared, really, afraid I couldn't accept it.

What's wrong with me? When she was a boy, I could tolerate anything she did to me; now that I know she's a girl, why am I like this?

She turned her back, deftly took off her crumpled blue robe, carefully smoothed it with her hands, then folded it neatly and placed it aside. Underneath the blue robe was a moon-white jacket, made of the finest, soft, and smooth fabric. Her jacket swayed in the wind, and the graceful lines of her shoulders, arms, back, and waist became both clear and hazy, delicate and elegant. She hesitated only for a moment, then, as if in a fit of pique, went to unbutton her jacket again…

“It’s alright. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want me to do for you, I’ll do it.”

I looked away, no longer looking at her. I rubbed my face hard, feeling that my body was indeed pulling away from that state. A game, the word popped into my head. I felt that she was indeed playing a game, exploiting our weaknesses. She could have accurately exploited my weaknesses, but something seemed to have gone wrong; she was a little flustered.

She stopped, paused, turned around, and stared at me intently, seemingly a little panicked.

“Really.”

I looked up at the moon, which had hidden behind the clouds again—or rather, the night sky and those indistinct clouds.

"I'm serious. Even now, I haven't changed. I like you."

I truly meant it; I knew my own heart and couldn't lie to myself. If there were stars, she was the one I wanted. I thought this feeling would lessen once I cleared my head, but no, it only intensified.

Physical desires seemed unimportant; I just wanted to cherish her and make her happy. This feeling was new to me, truly the first time. Before, I would act impulsively out of infatuation, recklessly seeking satisfaction—that's what I did.

But now it seems different. I think I understand that happiness doesn't just come from one's own feelings, but also from the person you love. Her happiness is equally important. Now, she's willing to strip naked to make love with me, but that's part of her plan; she probably won't truly find pleasure. So…

"What did you say?" She seemed disbelieving and hadn't quite heard me.

“No need for that, I like you too.”

“Uh.” She swayed, as if about to fall, but quickly regained her balance. Her brows were tightly furrowed, as if she were pondering something truly difficult, something she couldn't understand. She was trembling.

I unbuttoned my robe, went over, and opened it so she could hide inside.

“No, no!” She ripped off the robe and threw it aside.

Looking at her delicate body and her troubled expression, I didn't know how to comfort her.

“You're after the Nine Yin Manual, aren't you? I can help you.”

I thought that must be her reason; none of her actions were without purpose. A martial artist is indeed unable to resist the allure of miraculous martial arts, and I was no exception. Lin Chaoying must be after the Nine Yin Manual, right? Or perhaps she wanted to be the best in the world? That must be the highest honor a female martial artist could achieve; did she love honor that much?

She looked up, staring at me intently, as if in disbelief.

I picked up the robe and draped it over her again, then sat down beside her, smoothing my hair and smiling at her.

"I had everything planned out perfectly, why did you have to interfere!"

Lin Chaoying suddenly became agitated, her palm striking.

"I'll kill you!"

Was this a palm technique? Was this a move? It seemed like she was just wildly attacking. I casually tried to decipher it. A plan? You did a good job, didn't you? Where did I interfere? Not making love to you is considered interference? Didn't I already promise you? She

fell into my arms, panting.

I stiffened slightly; my hand was still a little distance from her shoulder, but I didn't know if I should just hold her close.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" Lin Chaoying's voice trembled. She pressed her face against my chest, her hands on my shoulders, her hair brushing against my face, tickling me.

I felt this was wonderful; at this moment, tenderness rekindled within me. I didn't hesitate any longer; my hands grasped her shoulders, and I hugged her tightly.

"No."

Her shoulders were so delicate, and she was so fragile. What was she trying to do? I didn't care. Her courage captivated me, I knew.

"No?" She raised her tearful eyes, looking timidly into mine.

"Yes, I wasn't lying to you." I withdrew my left hand and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"You, you..." Her breathing quickened, her gaze became unfocused, she trembled, her expression changed, becoming troubled, and she struggled in my arms. "...You devil! Let me go, I don't want to be like this with you!" Her voice rose, and she pushed me away even harder.

I released her, knowing she must be very distressed. What was causing that distress? I really wanted to rid her of all her distress.

She took a few steps back, clutching my robe tightly around herself, staring at me intently, biting her lip, silently weeping, the tears rolling down her cheeks like broken pearls.

I gazed at her. I don't know how much pain she's in, but I know this girl has been deeply hurt, and I want to heal that wound. Can I? I think I can.

"Get out! Get out—" she shouted at me with her last bit of strength.

Why is she so resistant to me? Is my existence an obstacle? Why can't you let your wounded heart rest on my chest? Don't you know I can heal you? Don't you know…? I stared into her eyes, which were now misty, empty, filled only with fear. Truly fearful eyes. What was she afraid of? Me? Or herself?

"Get out—"

I took my first step, preparing to follow her in the shadows, at least to disappear from her sight for now, otherwise, I feared she would break down.

Behind me was a trembling voice and her rapid breathing. I could feel her gaze on my back, like a burning flame, consuming herself.

I took my second step…

and the call of my name came from her lips.

The soft sound of footsteps, and her icy hands—she grabbed my arm from behind, pressing her body against my back.

"Don't leave me alone, let me lean on you a little longer."

She gripped so tightly, her nails seeming to pierce my underwear, then my skin, and then… Her tears soaked a large patch of my back, along with her helpless trembling and sobs. She bit down hard on a piece of my vest, holding on tightly.

I felt dizzy; this time it was real. This was the first time we'd been so close, not just physically, but emotionally. I clearly felt that dependence, and I wanted to protect her. What was this feeling? How could it be so intoxicating! In that moment, I felt no distance between us, we melted together. I suddenly turned around, pulling her tightly into my arms, not caring that my shirt was torn at the back.

"I won't leave you alone."

Her body went limp, as if boneless.

The morning bell of Jinglin Temple rang precisely on time, its sound carrying far and wide, deep and resonant like a sledgehammer striking the eardrums.

The morning light streamed through the paper windows, brightening the room and seemingly refreshing the air.

I opened my eyes, laboriously wiping the drool from the corner of my mouth. As I lifted my neck, I heard a "thud," followed by a sharp, aching pain.

Damn it! Another stiff neck! It didn't feel good.

My muscles and bones seemed to ache constantly; was it because of my sleeping position? Indeed. I had been sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning against the wall, half-asleep for most of the night—a truly uncomfortable position.

My gaze fell on Lin Chaoying, still fast asleep, and my heart skipped a beat.

She slept soundly, lying on her side, her cheek resting on her arm. All her worries had vanished; she slept like a child. Her bright cheeks were rosy, and a sweet smile lingered on her lips. Her neck was so beautiful, what did it resemble? I couldn't describe it. Her sleeves were rolled up high, revealing her slender forearms, wrists, and hands. In the morning light, her delicate skin seemed almost translucent, as if you could actually see the wondrous movements beneath it...

I held my chin, just staring at her, wishing it would stay like this forever, unchanging.

She stirred, a strand of hair obscuring her face. I reached out and gently brushed it aside, revealing her face to me completely.

"You've been keeping watch like this all night?" Her eyelids didn't move; she seemed not to be awake, but her tone was remarkably calm, and her voice…

I was a little surprised, unsure how to respond.

She turned away, pulled the blanket tighter around herself, and remained motionless.

A moment later,

the blanket stirred, and she pulled her hand out from under it, carefully touching her head and face.

"I'm getting up, you…"

Her voice was soft, as if she had lost her earlier composure.

"Get up, I like looking at you."

"No."

I ignored her, remaining by the bedside.

"Get out!"

She became a little anxious, sitting up, turning her face to stare at me with a sharp gaze, her eyebrows raised.

My heart pounded, my vision blurred; she was someone I couldn't refuse.

"Don't think you can do whatever you want just because you're nice to me! Get out! I need to pee!"

I couldn't believe my ears. Did she really say that?

The streets of Huayin were different today. Actually, nothing was different, except for me. I finally...

When Lin Chaoying came out of her old Huayin inn, she was still a dashing and elegant young man, except she was wearing a black shirt.

That made it even more incredible. She was already fair-skinned and handsome, and now she was truly...

I held my teacup for a long time, unable to say "truly." I felt like my eyes were about to pop out. And why were my pants wet? Damn it! Tea had spilled down the table onto my pants!

Lin Chaoying glanced at me, smiled faintly, and sat down beside me. Without looking at me, she couldn't help but chuckle.

I coughed, put down my teacup, and tried to sit calmly as if nothing had happened.

“Let’s chat here. I need to dry my pants before moving, cough.”

I spoke in a very low voice, and gave Lin Chaoying an almost pleading look, though she seemed oblivious to my pleas. My face was also slightly flushed, I knew.

She glanced at me.

I grinned; I understood the cunning in her eyes. Was she trying to embarrass me? To match her blue dress, I was wearing a royal blue robe today, and the wetness was quite noticeable, especially in that area.

“Okay.” She smiled at me. “Shopkeeper, tea, please.”

…

I quickly realized that the tea made me bloated, and I kept wanting to pee.

But I remained calm, and my internal energy was excellent; I…why did I still feel like I needed to pee?

VI. Pointing and whispering

weren’t actually that serious; they were just looking at me with curiosity, a little amused.

I don’t know why I couldn’t stand it; I always felt like people were pointing and whispering about me. For a long time, I've disliked being pointed at and talked about. When did it start?

It was a winter day, I remember. I also remember how beautiful the snow was.

The snow drifted and drifted, covering everything in a silvery white, heaven and earth in a hazy blur, the fields draped in white, the falling petals connecting heaven and earth. The houses became hazy, the flowers and trees in the garden became pure, and the glistening snowflakes on the trees were so beautiful. I especially loved those snowflakes hanging from the branches, about to fall but not yet, clinging on, swaying in the wind, being crushed by their successors, yet they persevered…

“Snow, how wonderful.” She was as cheerful as a little girl, she drifted to the window, propped it up with a bamboo cane, and stretched out her damp arms to see if she could scoop up some snowflakes.

I stood up, watching her retreating figure.

Her hair was piled high, her neck so smooth and slender, she was even more beautiful than the snow… I quietly gazed at the soft, beautiful curves beneath her white dress that drove me mad, those curves flowing so smoothly and elegantly, her shoulders, her back, and…

My steps quickened, my breathing became heavy, I even shivered a little, I was getting closer to her!

In winter, the charcoal fire in the room would burn brightly, making the whole room warm and cozy, so warm it made my heart itch; in summer, our summers aren't hot, but she would prepare lotus seed soup or mung bean soup with ice for me, giving me that refreshing coolness; in spring, we would go out for a walk in nature, she loved the mountains, the greenery, and the fresh air that greeted us; in autumn, we would go to the cliffs to see the late autumn moon, our moon here is big and round, but just as desolate, she would lean against my chest and gaze at the moon silently.

The window was open, and the wind outside whipped her hair and clothes, carrying a slight chill. She seemed to shiver, as if afraid of the coolness, yet unwilling to leave the scene before her.

I moved behind her, draped my robe over her shoulders, and placed my hand on her shoulder, pressing my body against her back. My breath made the soft strands of hair at her temples sway gently.

Her body stiffened, her breathing becoming irregular.

"No, no, it will..."

"No, no one will see," I whispered, nibbling her earlobe, my hand...

Yes, no one will see, no one will. The owner of this courtyard had gone out; he seemed to have gone to hunt down a notorious bandit who had fled from the Central Plains.

People are so strange; a bandit hunts another bandit, heh heh—it's fucking funny to think about. He seemed to cherish his reputation. I don't know when it started, but I noticed he had become a benevolent gentleman when I came down from the snow mountain.

A gentleman? Hehe~ I still remember when I was very young, he carried me on his back, brandishing his dulled single-edged sword, killing like a demon. I remember it clearly. Back then, his face, his eyes, were filled with a murderous intent I can't forget. I remember it wasn't out of hatred, it was just money.

Now he actually values his reputation, damn it, if he values his reputation, why does he take jobs for me? Why does he still want to possess this woman? Yes, this woman is his possession, he went all the way from the Western Regions to Suzhou for her. Did he kill anyone? I'm not sure, but when this woman appeared before me, she was like a frightened little animal.

He's not here, so no one is allowed to enter this courtyard, absolutely not.

My hand slid from her shoulder to the front, slipped inside her collar, and explored along her wind-cooled skin, little by little, until it reached her delicate silk bodice. It was warm and soft there, there were things I liked, her treasures.

Her hands gripped the windowsill, her body trembling slightly, her breathing quickening, her brow furrowed tightly…

What was she thinking? I roughly knew. At that moment, she would be terrified, trembling with fear, struggling intensely, her struggle causing her great distress. But like me, she longed to find a moment of unbridled freedom and joy in the midst of intense entanglement, even though she usually cried afterward.

At that moment, I felt like there was a pair of eyes watching me from behind, which made me a little uneasy. But I didn't care; being watched only excited me. Doing this wasn't just about getting that dreamlike thrill and spasms, nor was it just about being with her. I felt I wanted to prove something, and this sneaky feeling was exhilarating.

My hand gently traced her smooth curves, feeling the subtle tremors, the changes in her body temperature, and her heartbeat. The back of my hand could still feel the smoothness of her silk bodice, but clearly, the flesh in my palm was even smoother, softer, and more vibrant. The slowly hardening nipples brushed against my palm, tingling. I parted my fingers, pinching her nipple between them, gently twisting it, while my palm began to knead her tender breasts, making them ripple in my hands.

Her head tilted forward, as if to see what was happening on her chest.

This is even better; I can taste her neck now. I love that delicate, soft neck, and the exquisite skin revealed through the parted collar. I open my mouth…

Her back twists slightly, her forward lean making her buttocks…

I feel it; my lower abdomen presses against a wonderfully elastic and tender spot. My not-fully-erect penis touches that delicate crevice, running along the middle. Her buttocks contract slightly, and I become erect…

“We, we…” She lifts her head, turning her face to find my lips. Her cheeks are flushed, her gaze hazy. Her hand rests on the back of mine, as if guiding my caresses.

“Don’t move, let’s just stay like this.” I smile, gently touching her cheek, but not kissing her lips. I love seeing her like this, and I’m captivated by the lips she’s searching for.

Her breath was misty, her lips parted, plump, rosy and anxious, her pearly white teeth parted, her delicate tongue moving eagerly, searching…

I didn't kiss her lips, I just touched them. My hands slid, my left hand continuing to control her breasts, my right hand wandering. The strap of her bra came undone, her sash came undone, her snow-white shirt slipped open, revealing her pink and tender shoulders. I followed her cheek, across her neck, then opened my mouth and bit hard into the delicate skin of her shoulder and neck, feeling her muscles react, it was amazing.

“Ah~” she cried out, a little painful. Her body tensed up instantly, her buttocks and legs tensed up too, this was the feeling I wanted.

It became gentle, I licked the place where I left my teeth marks with the tip of my tongue, licking carefully. My hands slowly let her clothes leave her body, her beautiful back slowly revealed before my eyes, moist, her skin as white as snow. The snow was falling outside the window, but it couldn't compare to the beauty of the skin before me. My hand slid down her back, along the groove in the middle of her spine, feeling the tiny squares within, feeling the twitching muscles. Her back rippled slightly under my touch.

"It's so cold, but also..." she gasped, speaking softly.

She was shivering; the wind blew in from the window, blowing on her increasingly exposed skin, and her skin reacted accordingly. Her nipples hardened, protruding, and it felt fun to play with them.

I stubbornly continued, letting her stand there by the window, even though her body was trembling.

"Let's just stay like this,"

I murmured vaguely as my lips and tongue roamed over her shoulders and neck.

My hand had already slid to her waist, the delicate texture urging me on. I touched her belt; once untied, it would be another wonderful world, I knew. And so it went. I felt her tremble slightly; her body shifted, leaning against the window, breathing softly, occasionally letting out gentle murmurs.

My hand continued its journey through her smooth, supple flesh, following those wondrous undulations until my fingertips finally reached the beginning of that crevice. The tender flesh on both sides trembled, contracted, and writhed involuntarily. My hand parted the flesh, gliding along that exquisite crevice, and as it passed through a delicate, supple fold, her body suddenly flared up like fire, as if burning. Her legs clamped together, but I still felt a wet, slippery expanse, a wondrous, watery realm, warm and moist… Her body

straightened abruptly, her hands turning back to hold my hips, as if trying to push me away, but without force. In that instant, she didn't breathe, but her heart was pounding rapidly, clearly felt by my left hand on her chest.

I pushed forward forcefully, my middle finger parting the delicate labia along the cleft, the tip touching a trembling bud. My index and ring fingers felt a slight throbbing in the wet, soft flesh…

“Ah~” A long breath, tinged with a strange moan, escaped her lips, her legs parting… Her head tilted back, resting on my shoulder, her eyelids closed, her expression constantly shifting; her hands began… trembling fingers reached out, finding my erect penis through my pants. She opened her palm, pressed it, and then pressed it urgently.

“Don’t move!” I still pressed her against the window, still made her stand there, but my hands were no longer on her body. I frantically tore at my clothes, then pressed against her from behind…

I was about to explode, and so hot, my whole body was burning hot, especially down there. Now, my penis is pressed against a moving crevice, still wet and slippery. The slippery fluid brings a cool sensation to my penis, while the tender buds clinging to it wriggle slightly, making my penis involuntarily bounce. It's so stuffy

! My mouth is so dry, and the swirling sensation inside my body needs release. I know what to do, but I'm not in a hurry. I just let the glans rub back and forth in that crevice, passing the slightly parted opening that's beckoning me. I just let the glans brush against the entrance and then move away.

Her head is against the windowsill, she's twisting her hips vigorously, her waist is twisting, her body is bouncing. When the glans touches the entrance, her body tenses, her legs tense; once it passes, her body relaxes, and she lets out a moan that sounds like a complaint.

"Ah ha~" she cried out in surprise, but the cry was full of pleasure.

Just as she relaxed, thinking I was about to miss again, I continued to grind my glans against her vaginal opening, instantly pressing the delicate clitoris inward. The little hole began to writhe, the surrounding muscles offering slight resistance. The confrontation lasted only a brief moment before my glans slid inside, and I felt a frenzied contraction. The little hole opened, accommodating me, then enveloped me, gripping me.

I held her waist, looking down. First, I saw the beautiful curve of her round, pinkish-white buttocks. In this standing position, her buttocks were tense, creating a sense of tightness within those soft curves. I saw the movement of the muscles, the two graceful creases where her waist and hips met, her slender waist, and her fleshy, tender legs. Then, I saw my engorged penis breaking through that pinkish flesh, I saw my thick, dark pubic hair touching her beautiful buttocks, my abdominal muscles throbbing actively… My dark skin accentuated her fair complexion, my muscles made her beauty even more pronounced, and we joined together.

The process of entry was also incredibly wonderful; I could clearly feel some wonderful folds being peeled away, and at the same time, I was also breaking through the contractions of her vagina. The friction gave me a wonderful sensation, but the fire didn't go out; instead, it grew even more intense. That cavity wasn't just tender, it was also warm; it felt like she was burning as well.

Deeper inside, my glans touched a soft mass of tissue. It contracted slightly, then rebounded, clinging to my glans and twitching subtly. Her vagina also began to twitch, then her body convulsed with a shudder. She moaned with pleasure, thrusting her hips back against me, her lower abdomen feeling a soft, delicate texture…

“Oh!” A panicked cry came from outside the window.

Her body suddenly trembled violently, instantly turning icy cold, even her vagina undergoing a dramatic change. Her face turned, her eyes filled with terror.

I stopped too; in that instant, my heart turned cold.

I saw a young maid in a white fox fur coat standing by the moon gate facing the window, staring blankly at us.

Servants shouldn't be in this courtyard at this time; it shouldn't be. But she was there; she saw us. Even though she was just a young maid, she should have understood what we were doing.

Because standing by the window was a woman with a face like a peach blossom, her hair disheveled, and her eyes held a kind of intoxicating ecstasy. She was naked, her upper body exposed, and a man's hand was on her proudly heaving breasts, reshaping them.

Behind her stood a man, his face also flushed, his eyes brimming with a frightening passion. He was moving and thrusting, the sounds of their bodies colliding making peculiar noises. Yes, the sounds were chaotic: joyful moans, heavy, rapid breathing, the sound of skin rubbing together, and the sound of wind carrying snowflakes falling—all unsettling sounds… She appeared,

she saw, she understood what was happening. Whether she understood or not was unimportant; what mattered was that our secret was no longer a secret. I reached for a bamboo strip from the windowsill and accurately struck the still-stunned maid.

"What do we do? What do we do? We've been..."

Her gaze was utterly chaotic, as if she were trapped in a nightmare. She huddled to one side in panic, desperately grabbing her clothes that had slipped to the ground to cover herself, trembling uncontrollably.

"Don't panic, I'm here."

In that instant, my mind went blank; I couldn't think straight. But I was genuinely panicked. Although I felt prepared from the very beginning, knowing I was doing something morally wrong, facing my inner struggle, and perhaps facing something else entirely, I still didn't want this secret to be revealed so quickly. I hesitated. Deep down, I sometimes even wanted to reveal the secret, because I truly wanted to possess it completely, unwilling to share it with anyone, even though the feeling of secrecy was thrilling. But I knew she didn't want that; she was even terrified.

"What do we do? What do we do? They'll all find out! They'll point fingers at us, despise us!"

She curled up into a ball, clutching her head tightly.

"No, no one will know."

Her image is etched deeply in my mind. From her fear, I know what it feels like to be despised.

Despise? Heh heh~ Actually, ever since I did this immoral thing with her, in the dead of night, I've felt terribly guilty and despised myself. I'm worried about being found out; I understand that panic. But I can't stay away from this courtyard; I can't stay away from this body. Only when I'm completely relaxed with this body will I feel no guilt, only then will I not despise myself. But I can't be despised by others! Seeing her so terrified by the impending guidance, I know I can't allow anyone to gossip behind my back.

I killed that little maid with my own hands. It was simple; I just cut off her tongue, severed her tendons in her hands and feet, and threw her into my snake-raising "Thousand Dragon Cave." I remember when I went to the "Thousand Dragon Cave" two days later, she no longer told anyone about the secret she had seen.

I don't know if I'm just inherently cruel. After doing it, I didn't really think about it much. I still went to that courtyard, I still...

************

I took a long piss, a long enough indeed, with a slight pleasure. The feeling of emptying my bladder made me feel relaxed and comfortable; the pressure was gone. My pants were still a little wet, and the water stains on my robe didn't seem completely dry, but the smell in the outhouse was really unpleasant; I had to leave.

The sun was shining brightly, warming me. There wasn't much people in the courtyard, only the waiter occasionally rushing to the kitchen in the back would notice me. Standing here for a while was fine, letting myself air out.

"Come out, I know you're here." I didn't look at the tree; I knew behind it was a smiling Lin Chaoying, who had never left me.

“This way, it really is…”

“Very special, isn’t it?” I turned around, looking at Lin Chaoying, whose skin was exceptionally fair and clear in the sunlight, and at the hint of smugness in her phoenix eyes.

“Yes, yes, you really are special.” Her gaze lingered on the spot where the water had been, and she didn’t approach me again.

My heart skipped a beat, and then a strange feeling pierced through me. It was as if something was pushing up the spot where the water had been, and I felt the sun was scorching me.

Her eyes flickered, and I saw a blush instantly spread across her cheeks. Her lips moved slightly, and she turned her back.

“You…” She twisted her shoulder, about to leave.

I chased after her and grabbed her arm.

“No, don’t…” Her body trembled, and she tried to pry my hand away.

Our skin touched at that moment. I felt her arm was soft, and in those delicate touches, I could feel the strange movement of her muscles. I felt her hand on the back of my hand; her hand was a little firm, her hand was a little cold, but it was getting warm…

What was I thinking? I knew very well.

What was she thinking? I wasn't quite sure.

"Not here, come with me."

She glanced at me, and in that single glance, I sensed her passion, no less intense than mine.

This was Lin Chaoying's room, her living quarters.

Neat, practically spotless. The table, chairs, bed, couch, cabinets, even the window frames—all were immaculate. Her sword hung on the wall, even the silk ribbon on the hilt neatly combed. Her zither lay quietly on the table, its strings gleaming. The zither itself looked somewhat old, as if from being handled, its surface had become incredibly smooth, the dark purplish-red hue seemingly flowing. Her bed was neatly made, the sheets without a single wrinkle, pure white.

A censer wafted a faint, delicate fragrance before the bed; no smoke was visible, only the peculiar, subtle scent emanating from it. Nothing else was cluttered. This world was simple, yet also complex, perhaps because of its master?

"You, you...would you like to change your clothes, but..."

Lin Chaoying leaned against the closed door, panting, avoiding my eyes. She seemed a little nervous; her chest heaved, her eyes were unfocused, and she bit her beautiful lips, her jaw twitching. And her cheeks, her neck—where did that strange, vibrant blush come from? Her neck was tinged with that captivating pink. Her hands were behind her back, and I heard the latch being pulled in.

What was going to happen? I knew perfectly well. I was also anticipating it; my heart and body were practically going crazy with anticipation. I felt myself panting heavily, my heart pounding in my chest, my body hot, my muscles aching, and my manhood, constricted by my pants, felt uncomfortable against my underwear.

“No need to change.”

I untied my robe and tossed it onto the back of the chair. Then I unbuckled my belt…

“What, what are you doing?”

She seemed a little flustered, her voice timid, but her eyes were fixed on my hands, and her face turned even redder.

“Take it off, let it air out.”

I felt I was exaggerating. I quickly pulled down even my underwear. At that moment, I felt incredibly refreshed. The air felt amazing against my skin, and of course, there was her gaze. My muscles seemed to twitch, and my skin broke out in goosebumps—I didn’t know if it was from the coolness or something else. I was frantic. I hadn’t even taken off my boots, and my pants were still hanging around my ankles. I…

“Why are you in such a hurry?” She stared intently into my eyes, so close they were almost touching.

Our gazes clashed fiercely in the air, almost crackling; our breaths mingled, exchanging, both heavy; I could feel her body temperature, or was it because my body temperature was too high? I could smell that faint fragrance—was it coming from the incense burner? My hand felt the twist of her shoulder; my chest felt the trembling of her hand; was she pushing me? She was merely resting her hand on my chest, listening to my heartbeat? I also felt her passion.

"Aren't you in a hurry?"

My hand crawled over her shoulder and cupped her cheek, already burning hot. I only leaned forward slightly, and my lips touched hers; we both trembled…

She took a deep breath, bravely meeting my gaze. Her arms encircled me, tightly embracing my back; we were perfectly joined, body to body, then lips… She sucked on me fiercely, her hands kneading my back vigorously. She tore open my blouse, and then her hands rubbed against my back muscles, softly. She tiptoed…

A subtle fragrance wafted, passion burned like fire, the neat sheets rippled, the mahogany bed creaked and struggled, gradually calming down, the lightly drawn curtains concealing the enchanting spring scene, the light dim and hazy.

I'm not some clueless little boy anymore. I understand women's bodies quite well, and I seem to understand myself quite well too. But during what just happened... everything seemed so unclear. The whole process was made up of fragmented pieces that I couldn't piece together to form a strange journey.

I only remember the soft, smooth touch; I only remember the elegant curves of her breasts that flashed before my eyes when I lifted the strange white silk binding her chest, the paleness from being bound for so long, and the slightly sunken cherry-red nipples; I only remember the tension in her eyes when I spread her legs; I only remember the form and texture of water—water is undulating, and it wraps around like silk.

What else do I remember? Oh, right, and the moment I screamed and erupted. I remember her panicked eyes, and the sensation of my body surging and gushing out—a strange throbbing, spasm, release. I don't think I've ever ejaculated so violently before. It felt so good! But I still can't quite remember. It's like I forgot to appreciate her then; I was just chasing after her…

Was it a beautiful dream? I'm a little doubtful because it feels so unreal. I moved slightly and found my body a little sore and sweaty, the soft blanket giving me some warmth. My arm touched something, touched a smooth, warm, and moist skin, also sweaty and warm. It's all real! She's right beside me, and we…

I propped myself up, my gaze regaining focus; I had been a little dazed.

She was lying on her side with her back to me, her hair a little messy. I saw her delicate ears and her relaxed profile. Her eyes were closed, her nostrils twitching slightly, her eyebrows relaxed. The corner of the blanket was lifted by my movement, revealing her gracefully stretched neck and her smooth, delicate shoulders. Her back became hazy and mysterious under the blanket…

“What?”

Her shoulder moved, her head shifted to the side, and her neck shrank back, as if it were ticklish. A playful smile played on her lips.

"I want to see you."

My heart was pounding again, but not nervously; it was a feeling of intoxication.

"Haven't we already seen each other? Why are you still..."

Her cheeks were still flushed, but at this moment she was simply breathtakingly beautiful. She hid under the covers, leaving behind only strands of soft silk.

I've seen you? How come I can't remember anything clearly? The allure of the covers only intensified my desire, making me want her to be completely open with me again.

VII. Joyful Moments

I was exposed to the air, not feeling cold at all. On the contrary, this coolness truly soothed my fatigue and anxiety, awakening the tenderness in my heart. Even I still have tenderness; being with her made me feel comfortable.

I lay flat, my arm behind my head, turned my face, and just looked at the bundle of blankets curled up in the bed, the soft silk outside the blankets, the wrinkled sheets, the faint fragrance emanating from the curtains, and the lingering fiery passion.

The blanket stirred slightly, revealing long hair, forehead, and then her elegant, arched eyebrows. Then… her eyes began to shimmer.

Our eyes met, and the blanket again concealed those sparkling eyes. Slowly, she emerged, slightly calmer, avoiding my gaze, yet her eyes roamed over my body, a slightly astringent, pulsating sensation seeping in. It felt like a delicate hand caressing my skin, sliding from my cheek, my lips, my chin, my neck, down to my chest, towards my abdomen. Then her gaze combed through my pubic hair, through my… She shyly covered her face again with the blanket. I could see the

subtle rise and fall of the blanket, and feel that intoxicating current throbbing within me, my blood rushing, my heart pounding. But it was comfortable, not an intense arousal; I was simply excited, excited to be enveloped in this fragrant, passionate warmth. I knew I was thinking about it again, but not in such a rush. I wanted to savor her beauty.

I pulled her close, pressing my body against the blanket, feeling the unease beneath.

"What...?"

I only managed to utter half a sentence before my lips were captured in hers.

Her cheeks were flushed, more vibrant than the finest rouge. Her eyes held a playful glint, tinged with anticipation. I altered the rhythm of her breathing, her lips moving gently before I kissed them. I merely lingered lightly on her lips, lightly touching and licking. I tasted her orchid-like fragrance, sensing every subtle change in her expression. Her expression shifted; her eyes closed, but her pupils moved, her brows furrowed occasionally, her nostrils flared. Her lips parted, her pearly white teeth opening and closing, her tongue darting restlessly, searching for the sensation of a passionate kiss.

I didn't want to get too excited; I wanted to simply appreciate her, savor her essence. I didn't give her a passionate kiss; I just gave her a light, fleeting taste.

She must have been getting impatient. She twisted, trying to pull her arms out from under the covers, her lips chasing mine, her eyes opening to look at me reproachfully.

I laughed, a smug laugh, finding her amusing. I cupped her face, pressed her arms down, and teased her with my eyes. I gently bit her chin, gently, slowly moving up to her neck.

"Ah~ Ah~ It tickles, ouch~"

"Does it hurt?"

I gently licked the soft, tender spot on her chin where I had just bitten her, feeling her movements. My hand brushed across her cheek, slowly running through her hair along her temples, gently massaging her head.

The struggling stopped; her head tilted back, her chin raised, relaxing in sync with me. Her panting filled the room, along with mine, and the soft, hot sounds of our skin rubbing together. Her neck trembled, sometimes tense, sometimes relaxed, her delicate skin flushed a vibrant red, translucent, radiant, and smooth. Her hand touched me through the blanket, her body receiving my pressure through the blanket, undulating.

"Is this alright?"

I gently traced the pulse on the side of her neck with my tongue, then traced it back along her palate, feeling the restlessness within. The friction between my fingers was exquisite; her hair was so soft, so smooth.

"I...I don't know, I don't know what it's like..." Her breathing quickened, her voice trembling.

Her words created a strange resonance in her neck, a resonance that affected my tongue; I felt it, and continued my search.

"It's so itchy, I..." She wanted to shrink her neck, yet also wanted to stretch out as much as possible, because this gentle caress was too... She was a little overwhelmed, a little intoxicated.

I continued, gently pushing the blanket down a little with my chin. So her shoulder was exposed, her shoulder was relaxed, but the dimple between her collarbones was anything but relaxed, rising and falling there expressing something. I left her neck, slid to that dimple, and nudged it with the tip of my nose. Then I slowly slid down her collarbone, gently biting the spot where her shoulder and neck met, then licking. The muscles there responded restlessly, wriggling and twitching.

She groaned softly, tilting her head to see what I was doing.

My hand trembled slightly as it moved from her hair to cover her face, then slowly and tremblingly slid across her cheek, landing on her shoulder, then down her arm, savoring the delicate skin and the lively movement of the muscles beneath.

Her arms were long and shapely, their delicate texture flowing between my fingers—the suppleness and vibrant life force were exquisite. I let her arms stretch out, straighten, like a bird spreading its wings, emerging from under the covers. Then I grasped her arm, slowly moving my hand down her upper arm, forearm, and wrist, before opening her palm and letting my fingers slip between them, holding her tightly.

The covers slipped open slightly, revealing her breasts, already a shy, rosy blush. Her beautiful left breast was half-exposed, trembling with each breath, creating a wonderful ripple.

Her breasts weren't large, but they were beautifully shaped, perky, like a ripe peach. Her delicate, pink skin reached a beautiful peak here, a subtle blush seemingly seeping from beneath, the fine veins clearly visible—blue and even more delicate red.

Of course, even more beautiful was the nipple at the tip of her breast, trembling slightly.

The small areola covering the nipple was undergoing a wondrous transformation, swelling vigorously, with the delicate nipple in the center swelling the fastest. Before my eyes, that small nipple bounced and twitched, and I could almost see the expansion and contraction of those tiny folds. Finally, it stood erect, translucent like amber, possessing the tender red of amber, and the lustrous sheen of amber…

I could not find it excessive to describe such beautiful breasts; I only felt my vocabulary was inadequate. Before true beauty, language becomes colorless. The visual experience was far more than that; it was three-dimensional, dynamic. The graceful curves undulated on her chest, connecting with another wondrous protrusion, the cleavage between them shifting shadows cast by the light, making the delicate wonder mysterious and full of allure…

My mouth gaped open, unable to close. I pressed my lips to her skin, sliding down her neck and shoulder. I felt my lips were on a wondrous journey. Whether it was smooth and warm or sweet and delicate, it didn't matter. My nose could smell the subtle fragrance emanating from the texture of her skin, and my lips could feel the sweetness of her skin.

Following that wondrous protrusion, I swam up, sucking on it with every inch I went. Leaving red marks on that pink and smooth skin was an incredibly pleasurable experience. Her tender flesh was sucked into my lips, intertwined, and when I released it, it slipped away, leaving a delicate, moist feeling and a willow-leaf-shaped mark—that was what I gave her.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She looked up, following the sensations I was giving her. She knew what I was doing on her chest, but she didn't have the strength to lift her head, though she was very curious.

My lips enveloped the delicate, translucent nipple. I felt her tremble slightly, heard her hold her breath for a moment, and her hands gripped tightly. The heaving of her breasts reached a peak. I held the base of her nipple in my teeth, teased the already uneven areola with my lips, and used the tip of my tongue to play with the nipple in my mouth, making it bounce. Then, I made a semi-circle with my tongue, encircling the nipple, wrapping it around, releasing it, wrapping it again, flicking it again…

Her chest heaved, she tensed her muscles desperately, she held her breath, but her heart was pounding. Her chest contracted, her muscles relaxed, and she exhaled a long, warm breath, mixed with soft murmurs, but her nipple was swelling again.

“No, no, stop, it’s so itchy, so sore, so unsettling… Oh, it hurts!”

She became restless, trying hard to break free from my control. She twisted and thrust her lower body to touch me…

I stubbornly thwarted her struggles, diligently playing with that wondrous nipple while looking up to admire her face.

I felt her passion; the delicate skin on her cheeks changed with her agitation: her brows furrowed and relaxed; her lips opened and closed repeatedly, biting down with her gleaming teeth; then, touched, they opened again, and the teeth marks on her lower lip slowly disappeared; her cherry lips parted, revealing her restless, trembling tongue, its delicate tip moving, sharpening, then softening; her chin moved with her lips, its subtle lines trembling; her neck stretched as far as it could, pulsating; and there was a strange, alluring blush… Her eyes were turbulent, flowing and shifting wildly. What was in between? It was hard to say.

I withdrew one hand and cupped her other breast. I wanted to be gentle, but my hand involuntarily used considerable force when it touched that hot, tender flesh. So smooth, so tender, as if it wanted to slip from my palm, or as if I wanted to tear it apart.

She let out a painful moan at that moment, her body trembling slightly. Her hand came over and placed on the back of mine. But instead of pushing me away, she pressed my hand towards her chest. I couldn't bear to use force; I simply grasped that soft, tender flesh, feeling its delicate warmth and the touch of the hard nipple against my palm. I carefully guided her, letting her move as I pleased.

My other hand slid back down her arm, changing course at her armpit. My hand slid down her ribs, pulling back the blanket. My hand was like fire, and her body was like fire, smooth and silky…

“Come on, okay?” Her hand was free. She cupped my head, struggling to lift it. She pleaded, casting her burning gaze upon my face.

“No rush.” I lifted my head, continuing to tease her erect nipple with my chin, facing her eagerness.

"How can I not be in a hurry? You've made me so eager! Now..."

"I want to taste every inch of you, not a single bit."

I panted, turned to the side, forcefully pulled the blanket away from us, threw it aside, and then pressed down on top of you...

Skin to skin, heat to heat, her softness and my domineering, her moisture and my frenzy… I wasn’t too agitated; I was just a little overwhelmed by this seamless contact. This full-body contact was different from mere caressing; I felt enveloped, burned. But it was truly wonderful, so wonderful that my skin tightened, my muscles ached, my heart, my breath, my nerves… I couldn’t describe the feeling; it was like floating. Because of her smooth, delicate touch, I truly felt as if I were floating aimlessly in a wondrous illusion, truly.

What did she feel? I wasn’t quite sure. But her hands gripped my back tightly, rubbing. Rubbing until my skin was burning hot, almost scorching. Her legs opened, wrapping around me, clamping my body between them. Her toes slowly searched for my buttocks from behind; she found them…

“Really, I really want it!” she cried out to me.

I ignored her, continuing to knead her breasts while arching downwards. After licking her heart for a while, I left a few marks on her smooth, soft belly, and then meticulously began to tease her navel.

I don't know how she felt, but I felt her body suddenly go limp, the entanglement loosened, and she stretched out her limbs, becoming docile…

But she didn't stay docile for long. As my tongue stubbornly probed into the swirl of her navel, first her abdominal muscles, then her waist, and then… it was a chain reaction, and she became unruly again. While her abdominal muscles twitched, she wrapped herself around me again…

“Ouch! Ouch~ Ouch~ My ears, my hair, my neck…” Although her belly was very soft, I felt like I was almost out of breath. Also, her legs somehow wrapped around my neck. She pulled my ears, tugged at my hair, and squeezed me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

“…Let go!” I couldn't quite describe her expression, but I felt she was staring at me with a hint of fierceness. What was that look? Impatience? Annoyance? Shyness? Or something else?

But the scene before me was simply breathtaking. I saw her knees, so exquisitely beautiful. What kind of jade-like bones lay beneath that smooth, flawless skin? I could feel the tenderness of her burning skin on my shoulders and neck, and the undulation of her muscles—it was her legs! Her legs were truly beautiful!

"You, you asked for it!" She bit her lip, turning her face away, refusing to look at me. Her

soft hair cascaded down like a beautiful waterfall, her coquettishness and eagerness tinged with a delicate shyness, her trembling breasts, her rising and falling abdomen… I knelt up, embarrassed, looking at the lipstick marks I had left on her body, at her flawless form, at the saliva mark I had left on her navel. I felt the trembling of her legs, which were wrapped around my neck. I reached out and gently grasped her ankle, pulling her left leg down. Her elegantly arched foot was right next to my lips.

She gasped, still unable to suppress her curiosity, and turned her face back to see what I was about to do.

Her feet were truly beautiful. Her delicate, playful toes; her fair, elegant instep, almost translucent, revealing the veins and meridians, and the subtle movements of her toes; her tender soles, a mesmerizing pale pink, and the arches like jade…

“You…” she tried to dodge.

But there was no escape; I had already caught her big toe in my jaws.

Her nose wrinkled, her brows furrowed, her lips trembled, and she could only bite down with her teeth. Her shoulders hunched, her hands gripped the sheets tightly, and her legs tensed…

Her legs were truly beautiful. Her calves were slender and smooth, the muscles in her calves not like mine, which were lumpy, but rather a flowing, graceful arc. Her knees were so delicate and agile. They didn't look too muscular, but they felt resilient. The backs of her legs were soft and supple. I could see the taut ligaments, which drew my gaze to her rounded, beautiful thighs. The tender pink skin on her inner thighs twitched slightly; perhaps this position was truly uncomfortable? But I loved watching that wriggling, loved the soft suppleness within the warmth, and loved…

My gaze fell upon her, following her thighs, and I saw that wondrous realm. The dark, glossy hair, dense, slightly curly, not too long, but neatly arranged. The hair covered her delicate, full mons pubis. In this position, the mons pubis appeared somewhat hazy, not entirely clear, but I still saw it. I saw the crevice between the moist, tender flesh… I

gently nibbled at her toes, each one. I licked the space between her toes with my tongue, each one. I played intently in the soles of her feet, stimulating playful changes in her toes. I kissed her, then gently nibbled at the tendon at the base of her foot. My left hand supported her heel, while my right hand slowly slid along her calf, past the back of her thigh. My lips also wandered to her calf, gliding over her shinbone before I reached over and held her calf in my mouth. My hand brushed against the inside of her thigh, and my lips followed…tasting inch by inch.

Finally, I was between her legs, completely under my control. Her legs were spread open as I wished, though they trembled.

Her vulva was right before my eyes, though she was so shy that she kept her eyes tightly shut. I still had her, so close I was examining her final mystery. Her mons pubis was a little dark, forming a shadow between her snow-white, pink thighs.

She was already wet, even dripping, her delicate labia glistening with moisture. The fluid even soaked her inner thighs and her buttocks.

Following the wetness, I saw her two buttocks, wriggling gently; the soft, rounded sensation was incredibly arousing. The muscles of her buttocks were shyly contracting, as if protecting something within. But they couldn't; I saw the wondrous little eddies formed by the tender pink folds. There, it pulsated, like a tiny breathing mouth.

My gaze moved away from her small dimple and upwards slightly, to the area guarded by her labia, pink and moist, also subtly communicating with me. I truly loved those two thin labia, truly loved the tender red flesh revealed between them, truly loved the trembling of the upper part where they met.

I lowered my head, first gently parting those delicate labia with the tip of my nose. Cool and moist, I smelled a faint scent, very faint, almost imperceptible. Finally, my nose lingered on that trembling spot, playfully pressing and touching it, while my tongue roamed in that unfolded wonderland. The liquid wasn't water; it was moist, slippery, slightly viscous, but not thick, and not as slippery as water. And the taste? It was slightly salty, not sweet.

The taste wasn't important; what mattered was that while I was doing these things, her hand came over and pressed my hand down firmly, her legs clamped together, and her moans were almost sobs, but they weren't sounds of distress.

"Please, stop torturing me, I... I'm going to die!"

"So be it, isn't this better?" I glanced up at her, then buried my face in her foreskin again and sucked on the little thing hidden beneath layers of skin. I carefully peeled back the layers with my tongue, finally touching the trembling little guy. The little guy looked much more energetic than she did...

********** ...

The rain continued to pour down, relentlessly pounding against the broken tiles of the roof; it was an indistinct, chaotic noise. The wind grew fierce, howling and swirling in the open space outside. A creaking sound echoed overhead; the dilapidated temple seemed on the verge of collapse. Several streams of water cascaded down the leaky roof, splashing and scattering on the ground. A flash of lightning illuminated the temple, revealing the serenely seated clay Buddha, its face still radiating a benevolent compassion. Damn compassion! It's all fake, isn't it?

People, people are all so hypocritical!

Lu Zhanyuan, his back to the little girl named Mochou, trembled, his face contorted in a strange way. Was it sweat or tears? It was unclear, but his face was definitely wet. His fists clenched so tightly they cracked, his teeth grinding together…

He Yuanzhi slumped to the side, utterly powerless, her eyes devoid of any meaning.

Where was that little girl named Mochou? She stood there, gazing intently at Lu Zhanyuan, who was struggling.

I saw the flickering flame in Mochou's eyes, a feeling so familiar, full of fervent anticipation, yet also a touch of panic and helplessness.

Was this what waiting for judgment felt like? I knew the taste of waiting for judgment was awful.

What judgment was she waiting for? Was she making a final stand for a hopeless love?

Hopeless love? Yes, the demons in one's heart reveal their hideous faces when all hope is lost. Even the most beautiful girl's demons are terrifying enough, I knew.

Demons? My nerves seemed to be stimulated by something, my ears seemed to be buzzing incessantly—this was the feeling of the demons sprouting, I knew it all too well.

"Mochou, that's all in the past. Now, my heart only belongs to Yuanzhi..."

After a long silence, after a long wait, Lu Zhanyuan finally turned his face to Mochou, who was giving him her most radiant smile.

That smile was truly moving. First, there's youth. Mo Chou is a remarkably beautiful young girl, her smile radiant, though tinged with a hint of sadness. That sadness is also important; glistening tears cling to her eyelashes, a hopeful flame flickers in her eyes, and her lips twitch slightly in a pout, yet she smiles brightly. She's incredibly complex; girls are such contradictory beings. And it's precisely this complexity that makes a girl truly captivating. This smile, this feeling… why does it feel so familiar?

The smile continues, but it's slowly freezing. Yes, freezing. Hearing Lu Zhanyuan's words, the smile on Mo Chou's face and the flame in her eyes both froze in that instant.

"You said… what did you say?"

She's still smiling, seemingly a little incredulous. Mo Chou leans forward slightly, tilting her head to listen. But she knew her ears hadn't lied; tears welled silently in her eyes, her chest heaved violently, and she trembled…

“Lu Zhanyuan is really…”

In that instant, Lu Zhanyuan seemed agitated. He involuntarily took a half-step forward, his shoulder twisting as if to reach out and support the swaying Mochou, but he didn't.

“Is that so?”

Mochou swayed, reaching for a nearby pillar. She misjudged the distance; she missed, her legs buckling, and she fell against the pillar, her head hitting it.

I saw Lu Zhanyuan's face twitch; he actually turned his back.

Mochou lay beside the pillar, leaning against it, one hand cupping her forehead. Her eyes were closed, her brows furrowed, and the muscles in her face twitched.

At this moment, had her heart died? If only it had.

I looked at Mochou's face, at her twitching lips. Those lips pursed in a way I knew all too well; I knew the demon within her had awakened.

What would happen next?

I don't know if I've started caring again. Actually, I should be the person most qualified to ignore other people's pain.

Am I? Do I really have that much right?

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

"Hungry?"

Am I hungry? To be honest, I'm not hungry at all, I'm just a little tired. My muscles are sore, and my head is blank, but it feels good. How did I get so tired? Hahaha~ It's because I'm so happy. I definitely feel happy; I finally gave her the best of myself. Is she happy too?

I gently brushed the hair that had fallen across my face, gently framing it against Lin Chaoying's head, revealing her beautiful face nestled against my shoulder. She's right beside me now, her face still flushed with a mesmerizing blush. Her hands are on my chest, her body still pressed against mine. Oh! We're still so perfectly aligned, without any distance.

This time, she came very intensely. I don't know how many times she came, but I know that when I was about to enter her body, she was a little scared… That feeling was truly amazing! She said she really couldn't take it anymore and begged me to stop. But I couldn't stop! I knew I really wanted it.

I lay on top of her, gently calling her name again, carefully exploring that wonderful place that I lingered in. Some of the fluid had clumped on her labia, and when I rubbed against them, it made my penis itch and feel a little rough.

That was the rough feeling I wanted. My glans found the opening and stubbornly pressed against it. The delicate clitoris recoiled, revealing the small opening in the middle.

"Pop," I felt the breakthrough; my glans went in. Although it was a little dry, the rough friction was really stimulating.

I knew I couldn't be too rough; while satisfying my own urges, I couldn't hurt her. I didn't push in deeply; I just patiently rubbed the opening with the glans. At the same time, I kissed her lips, caressed her breasts, rubbed my body against her skin, and my hand slid down, grasping her buttocks. That tender elasticity spread through my fingertips, her buttocks wriggling. I kneaded her smooth, pert buttocks with my palm, while my fingers deftly slid between her buttocks. I touched them, my fingertips felt the delicate folds, and I felt her contraction; she was trying to escape my intrusion…

“Oh, ah, you…” She twisted her body in panic, looking at me with terrified eyes.

I ignored her and took her tongue into my mouth again. My fingers didn’t stop; I pressed stubbornly against the already contracted opening. Soft and moist, and when pressed to a certain degree, it bounced back, resisting my intruding fingers… Her vagina became wet again, and as she took me in, her vagina, along with the contractions of her anus, created a tighter grip; she had me in her grasp… She moaned, pleaded, felt pleasure, and felt tension.

"No, no, don't do that..."

She hugged me tightly, her kisses far more passionate than her words, her body obediently responding to the rhythm I instructed her to.

I didn't actually insert my fingers into her anus; I merely gently massaged the opening. Her reaction was intense, and I was afraid that going in would hurt her, nor did I want to do something she didn't want to do. But even so, her contractions already gave me immense pleasure. I stimulated her vagina, finding her most sensitive spot.

"Is it good? Tell me, am I good?"

I cupped Lin Chaoying's face, turning her to face me.

She avoided my somewhat overly fervent gaze, shyly lowering her eyes and reaching out to pry my hands away.

"You're so annoying! You're the most annoying!"

She suddenly frowned, pouting, her eyes flashing across my face. She seemed a little angry, but then again, what was she up to now?

8. Heart Lock:

As a man, when you feel very happy, don't you want to share your joy? Don't you also care about the feelings of the person who brought you happiness? Don't you... hehe~ don't you also want to know how you performed? When the woman beside you says you're great, doesn't your vanity secretly swell, making you feel very proud? I am like that.

Praise, even admiration, have been abundant in my short twenty-odd years.

From the time I started practicing martial arts, I was called a "genius," "the great promoter of Western Region martial arts," "a once-in-a-century prodigy"... and what else? Many. My master never hesitated to praise me, and so did the people around me.

From the time I became an assassin, a mysterious legend began to circulate in the martial arts world. People speculated with trepidation about the origins of an assassin from the west who brought death. There were no clues, no one had ever seen what the assassin looked like, but they shaped me based on their imagination. Hehe~ some people did indeed admire me.

From the time I started to come into contact with women, she told me that when she was with me, she received the greatest happiness in the world. Actually, I've only been with a few women, except for Lin Chaoying. I know she's a very good woman, and she wouldn't deceive me.

I don't know if I've become numb, but I no longer care if others mention me.

But now that I'm with her, I really want to know how she sees me. Just thinking about it makes me a little nervous; my heart is racing, my eyes are expectant, even though I'm also a little afraid she'll say something bad about me.

"What's wrong with me? Tell me! Tell me, what's wrong with me? I'm so anxious..."

Lin Chaoying tried to escape from my embrace, but I wouldn't let her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back, keeping her still against me. This feels really good.

She struggled, shaking her head vigorously, her soft hair brushing against my face, tickling me, and at the same time, she became a little... a little... I wondered. Was she acting like a child, being affectionate? Or did she really hate me? No way? I remember it clearly. I remember her blissful moans; I remember her dazed, yearning, even fervent gaze; I remember her nails that almost dug into my skin, and her anxious trembling; I remember… I asked, just wanting an answer that would make me feel aroused.

She struggled, writhing. She was too tender, I couldn't bear to use too much force; she was too slippery, I almost let her escape, her skin always trying to slip away from my fingertips. She writhed, her breasts heaving, touching my body. Her obedient, beautiful nipples secretly teased my heartbeat…

She stopped struggling, her little face flushed, and buried herself against my chest again. She didn't look at me, but gently rubbed her flushed cheeks against my chest, sucked on my breast with her lips, and teased my nipples with her nimble tongue… Her hands lightly touched my skin, and with each movement, a relaxing pleasure came to my slightly sore muscles. This pleasure…

I reached out and brushed her hair aside, cupping her head so I could clearly see her shyness and that playful, innocent charm.

“Tell me, okay? What do you think of me?”

I lay still, gently rubbing her head with my hands, quietly enjoying the feeling of her smooth hair flowing through my fingers.

“You’re the most annoying person in the world, no doubt about it.”

She playfully bit my nipple, pulling it quite hard.

It didn’t hurt much, just a little, but it melted into a soft, tingling sensation from the gentle caresses. It was a particularly stimulating little interlude, which I didn’t care about, even finding it quite enjoyable. But I still cried out in a heart-wrenching sorrow.

“What?”

She loosened her teeth, looking at me curiously. Her chin rested on my chest, her eyes gleaming with something peculiar.

"It hurts."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I managed to fake it well.

"You know what pain is? When you're messing with me..."

She pinched my nipple with her nails, pulling it out quite a bit. She seemed excited, watching the change in my nipple, then looking into my eyes. She bit her lower lip, her smile peculiar, the smile on her cheeks peculiar too...

Tears finally slid down my cheeks, my nose must have been red, and my lips twitched uncontrollably. I shyly turned my face away...

"What? You're not that petty, are you? You've made a mess of me, and I can't even handle a little bit of play? So petty, huh? I don't even care."

Her beautiful lips pouted; she was about to let go.

I pressed her hand against my chest, preventing her from removing it. My tearful eyes gazed at her tenderly.

"You can hurt me, it doesn't hurt. But you...you can't say you hate me, my pride can't take it. Now, my heart is broken..." She

paused, then laughed, a happy laugh.

Her laugh was so beautiful; I loved seeing her laugh, especially this unreserved laugh—radiant, bright, innocent. I felt I had achieved my goal; at least for this moment, she was happy, she had forgotten her pain. I wanted to make her happy forever, I wanted to heal her wounds, I wanted to do anything, I just wanted her to be happy.

"You're just so annoying, even your voice is so annoying..."

She sensed my affection. She was still laughing, but avoiding my gaze, her eyes wandering, her breathing becoming heavier, she pressed closer, tighter, though she still nonchalantly played with my nipples... She maintained her smile, but it had actually faded; she finally bravely faced my gaze. Her eyelashes fluttered, and I saw something surging in her eyes, but I wasn't sure.

“Come here, kiss me, and then say I’m the best man, that you’ll never be without me,” I encouraged her.

“Mmm.”

She climbed up a little, gently kissed my upper lip, and then touched my lower lip. Her fingers slid down, tracing a line on my lips.

“You’re the most shameless man, hehe~”

“Sigh~ Why are you saying that? You have to say I’m the best man, just once, okay?”

“Shameless.”

“Okay!

” “Shameless.”

“Okay?”

“Ouch!”

My hand reached around from behind, grasping her buttocks, my fingers sliding into that wonderful cleft, touching…

She grabbed the blanket and ran away, leaving me naked in the air again.

I didn’t care, I was quite pleased with myself.

“You, how could you again…”

Her gaze fell haphazardly on my erect, swollen penis.

"Thinking about it again, huh? Who told you to be so pretty? I want it the moment I see you."

I looked at her with a touch of shamelessness, shamelessly ran my hand over my body, shamelessly grasped my penis, and pulled back the foreskin, letting her see the bright red glans clearly. Still not quite impressive, I felt a little deflated. I noticed that although the glans was swollen, it was still a little shy and wrinkled. After all, I was a little tired! I didn't care; this was so real, I had nothing to hide.

"Please, please let me go, I'll die."

She covered her face with her hands, but her voice clearly conveyed her fervor, though she was still secretly...

"Don't talk nonsense. Have you ever heard that this kind of pleasure can kill people? Tch~"

"Really, back then... back then I felt that way, I kept... I couldn't control myself, I..."

"Come here." I smiled, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.

"I couldn't control myself..."

"Why should you control yourself? Just enjoy your pleasure, that's all. Control? This isn't martial arts training."

"What did you say?"

Her hand slid away from her face, and she actually cried! What the hell?

I panicked a little. I didn't know what was wrong with her, but I knew she was suddenly very sad. She seemed very cold, shivering from the cold. She gripped the blanket tightly, wrapping herself up, her head hanging low, her long hair covering her face. She was silent, but tears streamed down her face...

I got up and hurriedly went over to hug her, hurriedly wrapping her in the blanket, leaving only her head exposed. I didn't know what to say, I could only hold her tightly in my arms, using my body heat to keep her warm.

I've seen girls cry, but I've rarely seen them shed tears so silently. She tried so hard to hold back, so much courage to suppress her vulnerability, but she still couldn't help it. This wasn't the first time I'd seen Lin Chaoying cry; every time she cried, it was unbearable for me.

Why was she crying? Who hurt her like this?! I suddenly felt a chill; I thought of distance. Was there still distance between us? Yes, there was. My heart was open, but hers remained shrouded in mist; she hadn't given it to me. This feeling was truly unbearable!

The desire that had just rekindled was dying down, and I became restless, a nameless anger rising within me. I was indeed angry; I felt that at this moment, she seemed to be thinking of someone else, another man, not me.

I knew I couldn't tolerate it; I was a little selfish. She had other men; I knew, I knew she wasn't a virgin. Whether she was a virgin or not, I didn't care, but I couldn't tolerate her thinking of another man. Yes, even thinking of him was unacceptable! Why not? What right did I have? She was so outstanding; was she merely yours? I gasped for breath, holding her tightly, my mind in turmoil.

"Kiss me,"

she said, resting her head on my shoulder, closing her eyes, waiting, her face streaked with tears.

Kiss? I really wanted to. Not? Because of the distance. I felt like I was struggling, so exhausted.

Her eyelashes, glistening with tears, fluttered slightly, then slowly opened. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, heartbreaking, making me want to pity her.

"Kiss me,"

she whispered, her expression equally melancholic, flowing with a hint of longing, a touch of helpless weariness, and a sense of uncertainty and confusion.

I kissed her; I couldn't refuse. I kissed her eyes, wiping away the cold tears from her eyes, face, and lips, trying my best. Tears don't taste good—salty and a little bitter…

Her breathing quickened; she was moving. Her hands broke free of the covers, cradling my face; her body broke free of the covers, turning me down onto her. She anxiously stroked me, kneading me forcefully. Her cold, trembling lips found mine and sucked. Her tongue darted over, exploring and entwining with mine. Her breath was hot on my face; her tears were also getting hot on my face. Her breasts pressed against mine, their softness seeping with restless agitation. Her legs pressed against mine, rubbing against me softly. The pubic hair on her lower abdomen rubbed against my stomach…

I was a little dazed, not knowing where she got so much strength, nor what this sudden outburst was for. But one thing was clear: she was burning with passion. Release, the word suddenly popped into my head. Perhaps she needed to release something? Crying is indeed a form of release, but sex seems more direct. I'm so lucky to be her target! I know I not only want to be her target, I want to be her angel. An angel? How ridiculous, do I want to be an angel too?

I wanted to help her, but she stopped me.

“Let me do it.” She looked at me, as if she were a different person; all her previous shyness and vulnerability had vanished. A complex flame flickered in her eyes, a desire to conquer something.

I would rather let her conquer me, but I knew that right now I was just a tool for her revenge, or a haven from something she was escaping. I would rather be that haven; for her, I would do anything. Am I selfish? How could I suddenly…? This answer is so complicated; I don't even understand myself. Is it infatuation? Is it love? Human emotions are really interesting; how can there be so many distinctions in a relationship? But this feeling is so exhilarating; I can forget myself for someone, and become incredibly courageous. I even have the courage to face… to face the demon within her. Of course, I can't escape my own desires either…

Her fingers roamed around my lips, teasing them; her lips were already on my chest; her right hand was… She pressed hard, and when her fingertips slid across my lower abdomen, it brought a burning pain. Her fingers threaded through my pubic hair, and I winced a few times, suspecting she had pulled out a few hairs by the root. Her fingers gripped my penis, squeezing it so tightly it hurt…

I trembled, inhaling sharply, even sucking her cold fingers into my mouth. I decided to let her do whatever she wanted; perhaps hurting me would make her feel better? Her fingers were indeed quite cold, but smooth and delicate. I sucked on her fingers, and they began to probe my mouth, teasing my tongue, touching my palate, and stirring my saliva, making me drool profusely…

She teased my navel with the tip of her tongue, a cool, tingling sensation spreading from my navel, causing my abdominal muscles to twitch. The feeling was peculiar; that coolness and tingling penetrated deep into my heart, as if it were manipulating my intestines and, at the same time, my heart. It seemed to affect my throat as well; a tingling, itchy sensation quickly spread through me. I felt an intense itch in my throat, an urge to scream.

It wasn't just my upper body; my lower body was affected too. I felt a heat radiating from my lower abdomen, a sensation that seemed to entice me…it all started in my buttocks. I felt my buttock muscles twitch, which then moved my anus; the peristalsis of my anus caused my perineum to twist; then my testicles contracted; then…it didn't quite feel right, everything seemed to happen simultaneously. Most precisely, the corpora cavernosa of my penis were swelling and getting hot…

Erecting wasn't easy because of her hands. Her grip was clumsy, causing me some pain. The pain suppressed the swelling urge. I was going crazy, torn between fire and ice. What was she going to do to me?

I sucked on her fingers harder, deeper and deeper, wanting her to scratch the itch in my throat. Swallowing wasn't enough, humming wasn't enough either.

Her fingers left my mouth, her tongue left my navel. She spread my legs, knelt between them, her hands caressing my thighs, her gaze fixed intently on my penis. My penis was proudly erect… the feeling of an erection was wonderful, throbbing, tingling, and warm. I tilted my

head slightly, looking at her. My breathing quickened; I saw her beauty. She was putting her long hair up in a bun, revealing her face. The rosy blush intoxicated me, and the fervor intoxicated me too… Her slender arms moved; her soft armpits were special, with fine hairs, and the skin there was different from the rest of her skin, only a soft feel; her breasts trembled, her delicate and charming nipples playfully greeting me; her stomach was also rippling, rising and falling; she was a little thin, and with her hands behind her head to put her hair up, I could see the outline of her ribs, but it was beautiful, I felt she had skin like ice and jade, and I regretted not counting her ribs one by one; the smooth, elegant lines of her slender waist flowed freely before my eyes; oh, her hips, her legs.

I couldn't control myself; I was repeatedly seduced by those smooth curves… What was even more irresistible was that, before that fair skin and jade-like bones, stood my penis, seemingly smiling and greeting her!

Her hair was styled, and her hand was on my stomach.

I involuntarily shivered; my stomach suddenly felt incredibly aroused.

Her hand roamed over my abs, touching every muscle. Her head lowered, and her slightly warm lips slowly landed on my glans…

I involuntarily jerked, as if her passionate kiss wasn't enough. This was a completely new experience that drove me crazy; I never imagined a woman would use her mouth to bring pleasure to my penis. To be honest

, I felt my penis was a bit dirty. First, it looked dark and grimy, and when it wasn't erect, it was wrinkled and didn't look very clean. Sometimes, when I woke up in the morning and checked, I would find some white stuff on the glans. So I never imagined a girl would do that to me. I was willing to let a girl lick me because I liked it, and I thought girls were clean.

But, it really happened. The moment I saw her cherry lips touch the head of my penis, my pupils dilated, my thoughts drifted, and a completely new kind of stimulation rose within me. I was stimulated; in that instant, my penis must have lengthened a little more, and I felt that wondrous swelling.

Moreover, the visual impact was indescribable. She was such a pure and elegant girl, so clean, and she actually used her mouth—the mouth she used for eating—to kiss my penis, the one she used for urinating! My God! It was so complex; I almost fainted from excitement, but I couldn't bear to leave the beautiful scene before me. I even saw my penis sway.

Her lips moved away, and she gave me a reproachful glance.

I couldn't understand the meaning in her eyes; I didn't understand anything now. I just wanted to… and I was a little shy. How strange, I was actually shy! I couldn't even remember how many times I'd been shy, except when I was pretending. But the feeling of shyness was truly wonderful, mixed with my boiling blood, mixed with my burgeoning desire. I felt like I was much more colorful than before. Indescribably wonderful!

When she kissed me again, I didn't move, just watched intently, waiting.

Her hand slid across my lower abdomen; she was combing my pubic hair! Her fair hand, her dark pubic hair—I could see my pubic hair peeking out from between her fingers, leaving shadows on her hand, shadows that seemed to move! Then her hand came, her fingers grasped my penis! My penis felt a warmth in her palm and bounced. Her fingers gently kneaded it, bringing pressure and urgency to my penis.

I was so impatient. Although it felt good to be held by a girl's hand, I still craved her lips. I wanted her to kiss my glans again, or perhaps even take my entire penis into her mouth. I doubted that was likely; if she did, I worried she'd vomit. I know what it feels like to have something stuck in your throat—it makes you want to vomit. My penis, when erect, is definitely longer than the length of her mouth; if it were fully inside, she might vomit all over me… I really wanted her to do that, even if she vomited all over me, it wouldn't matter.

I'm genuinely curious about what she looks like when she vomits! Really, what does she vomit like? What does she pee like? What does she poop like? My heart started pounding wildly. I don't know where all these strange and dirty thoughts came from. But I wasn't just ashamed, I was also excited. I felt that was everything about her, I wanted to know everything about her, so urgently.

I started imagining. I imagined her labia opening, the tender pink part twitching restlessly, her legs moving, opening, her lower abdomen relaxing, and then… and then what? Where do girls pee? That's a mystery to me. Is it from that little hole that can accommodate me? Is it that trembling place? I can't figure it out. I'll understand if I see it.

I imagine those beautiful folds forming eddies wriggling, her buttocks moving too, and then opening, and then… oh! It's so exciting! Maybe it won't be so fun when I actually see it? But I really want to see it!

Especially her, my Lin Chaoying, will you let me?

In that split second, I missed the moment I'd been waiting for. I didn't see how my glans disappeared between her cherry lips. I was so disappointed!

But not entirely disappointed, the scene was sensual and stimulating enough. Her lips parted, encircling the tip of my penis. She only held the glans, the umbrella-shaped part, her lips tightly enveloping the coronal sulcus, moving. Her rosy cheeks were also moving, sunken. What was she doing? Sucking! She was indeed sucking. I felt the coolness and the soothing touch of her delicate tongue on my glans, and at the same time, I felt the suction in her mouth, as if she were trying to pull me in!

"Ouch!" Those damn teeth! Her teeth were very beautiful, white, and even. I loved her pearly teeth, and I liked licking them when we kissed. I also liked her biting my tongue or lips, but I didn't like her scraping my glans. It really hurt, a tingling, aching pain. When her pearly teeth brushed against me, I trembled and cried out—don't misunderstand, I was excited.

Everything else felt wonderful; her grasping and caressing were exactly what I wanted. She stroked my thighs, gently tickling my inner thighs; the pressure of her fingers made my penis feel incredibly good; she teased my perineum with her fingers; her palm enveloped my scrotum, gently massaging my testicles; she even used her fingernails to poke at my anus. Ouch! It was a tingling, uneasy feeling, no wonder she reacted so strongly when I was with her. I… I was also a little afraid that her fingers would actually slip inside.

What would it be like if they did? What would it be like for my penis to enter her anus?

I didn't have time to think about those things. I felt my stomach getting increasingly tense, those swirling sensations making my muscles ache and feel like they were about to lose control. Also, something cool and refreshing was about to fly out of my penis, something I tried hard to hold back but couldn't. Her tongue was still teasing the tip of my penis, that tingling, sensitive crack, making me…

No! Absolutely not! I can't pee in her mouth! I desperately reminded myself. I knew it wasn't pee, and I knew how wonderful it would feel to ejaculate. I tensed every muscle, trying to control myself, while my mind kept wandering. I couldn't ejaculate in her mouth; I struggled with this thought. Wouldn't that defile her? I wanted her to always be so pure. Was that defilement? Who said ejaculating in her mouth would make her impure? I really wanted to ejaculate! But I couldn't bear to.

"Quick, quick, get out of the way…" My body convulsed; I couldn't hold it in any longer.

She moved away, her phoenix eyes looking at me curiously.

I quickly rolled over and lay face down on the bed; it was so hard. I gripped the base of my penis tightly with my hand, then started stroking it hard, and then… one wave, two waves, three waves. My palms were sticky, sweat beaded on my back and forehead, my muscles ached so badly I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. With each throb of my penis, I convulsed… How come I'm still so hard even after I've already ejaculated?

“What are you doing?”

Her hand rested on my leg, her lips landed on my buttocks, she slowly licked, savoring my spasms.

“Why did it go soft?”

I collected all the semen from my penis in my hand, then secretly smeared it on the blanket. After my penis finally went soft, I rolled over limply, lying flat on my back, panting, my eyes rolling back, swallowing hard. I didn't quite hear what she was saying.

“Was it already…?”

She blushed, looking at the wetness on my pathetic penis, gently biting her lip, then suddenly covered her face with her hands.

“I… I… I can't… I'm dead…”

“Really dead?”

She parted her fingers, peeking at me.

“Dead.”

I was completely exhausted. Playing dead was easy; all I had to do was close my eyes and I'd be fine. But I couldn't stop panting, and I couldn't control my still-twitching muscles.

"You're so annoying. That time you almost killed me several times before... Don't play dead, you, I..."

Her hand gripped my penis again. I wondered if my limp penis would disappoint her, but the moment she squeezed it, the sharp pain made me cry out.

"Please, you really can kill someone!"

"No, I still want more."

"Grandma, I... how about you come over?"

"I don't want you to do it to me, I..."

"I really need to rest for a while. I'll let you do it when I'm better, okay? You can do whatever you want. Please have pity on me."

She obeyed, nestled obediently beside me, and pulled the blanket over us.

Her body was still so warm; I felt so sorry for her. I had no choice but to hold her in my arms and slip my hand between her legs…

IX. Lingering in dreams under the bright moon

is something I'm fascinated by. I love to dream to amuse myself in the dark of night, just as I enjoy hunting prey at night. Usually, I'm not afraid of nightmares, even those filled with bloodshed or uncertain pursuits. I'm calm enough in my dreams to handle them. But this…

The fields are green, the wildflowers are in full bloom, the forest is picturesque, and the sky is clear. The taste of happiness becomes very clear in my heart. I'm so happy that I let my voice echo endlessly in the vast sky. Beside me is my Lin Chaoying. She's wearing the green dress we wore when we first met. Her sword is on her back, and the yellow silk ribbon flutters in the wind, mingling with her soft hair.

She should be happy too, right? Why can't I see her face clearly? I only see something I can't understand flickering in those bright eyes. She seems to be smiling, but then again, there seems to be something strange in that smile. What's happening?

"Call out, call out 'Daddy,' he's your daddy."

Who? Who's talking to me? There's a voice, but no figure.

"He's not my daddy, Daddy he..."

A child's voice cried, sounding terrified.

What's going on? Whose child is this? I can't find him anywhere. Where did that loud crying come from? Didn't the child learn to speak? How did he turn back into an infant?

Lin Chaoying's gaze turned towards me, instantly transforming into boundless sorrow. She stared intently at me.

I searched blankly, my heart clenching, so clenched it hurt.

"You're lying to me!" The voice was cold, so cold it seemed to freeze me.

"I didn't!" I shouted hoarsely, reaching out to grab him, but I couldn't stop the green shadow beside me from disappearing from my fingertips.

I felt my breathing quicken, my heart pounding, I was sweating profusely, and my whole body seemed to twitch involuntarily. Then, I woke up.

Was that a dream? Everything felt so real, as if it were revealing some point in the future. I wanted to wipe the cold sweat from my forehead, but my arm seemed to be numb and wouldn't obey me.

"Mmm~" A soft moan reached my ear.

The sensations in my body became real again; that smooth body was still nestled against me, and that faint, sweet fragrance permeated the curtains… It was her; she was right beside me, hadn't left.

I opened my eyes and clearly saw Lin Chaoying sleeping soundly, her head resting on my arm. She had pressed my arm so hard I couldn't feel it anymore; she slept like a child, her hand still pressed against my chest. The warmth was clear, but even more invigorating was the sweetness of this mutual embrace.

I didn't move; let's remain in this position, just quietly watching her wander in her sweet dream. Even though the sensations in my body were returning, and it felt like countless needles were pricking my arm, I was still willing to stay like this. I didn't want to disturb her dream, or this quiet embrace she gave me; I felt this was truly wonderful. I looked at her forehead, her eyebrows, her long eyelashes, and... She's so good. I can't live without her, I know.

I looked at her, and I thought about her. Yes, I really need to think about this carefully. Only now do I realize how little I understand the person beside me. I long to know everything about her because I think about our future.

Her brow furrowed slightly, and her lips moved slightly. Even though her eyelids weren't fully open, she was awake. She shifted her body slightly, as if trying to avoid something.

I realized that my penis was erect, just like every time I woke up, right there in front of her.

With her eyes still closed, she gave me a playful smile, and her hand quietly slid down between us, grabbing my penis and squeezing it.

It didn't hurt, but I still cried out.

She pursed her lips triumphantly. "Want it again? You really..."

"Really what?"

I laughed and pulled her to my chest, making our contact closer, and also giving my arm a little rest. The feeling of blood flowing back into my arm was intense; the tingling, numbing sensation made me gasp for breath.

"I wasn't thinking about it again, men are like that when they wake up,"

I explained, noticing her furrowed brow and a hint of irritation in her eyes.

"If you want to, then do it. Aren't you men insatiable?"

Her legs were on my waist, her genitals no longer avoiding the touch, though she didn't actively seek anything.

The touch of my glans on that soft flesh ignited my desire, but her gaze subtly extinguished the flame.

"What's wrong? You don't want to?"

I asked, grimacing as I moved my numb arm, but didn't move.

How long had she slept? It seemed quite a long time; the light in the room was dim, everything behind the curtains was hazy. She was also a little drowsy, especially her eyes. She bit her lip, as if pondering something.

"If you don't want to, then forget it." The numbness in my arm had subsided considerably, and I could smile gently again, so I deliberately avoided any contact. "Is this okay?" I let her rest her head on my other arm.

She paused for a moment, then slowly snuggled closer to me.

"If you really want to, then..."

"It's not that I really want to, I think this is fine too, us together."

I lay quietly, closed my eyes, and put my arm around her shoulder, pulling us closer. Her soft, smooth skin, I had grown accustomed to it, but it still made my heart flutter.

"Was I a little spoilsport just now? I didn't mean to, I just..."

Her hand slid across my chest, hesitated for a moment, then slowly slid down to my lower abdomen, grasping my still-erect penis, gently squeezing it.

It felt so good, so desirable, but I knew she was doing this to avoid embarrassing me, it was a bit like charity.

"In the west, I have a home..."

Her hand stopped, she seemed to stop too, but her heart was pounding.

"...There are some people in my home. I have a woman, and a child..."

I noticed her change; I could have expected it, and I was prepared to accept it. I just felt the need to tell her that I didn't want any secrets between us, not at all. It took courage to say this; it took a lot of effort, and my heart was pounding.

She listened quietly, without interrupting, but her breathing quickened, and she trembled slightly. Her hand left my penis, resting on my lower abdomen, her hand also trembling slightly.

I didn't dare look at her; I just rambled on about my own things. I tried to guess her feelings, but I couldn't, which made me a little nervous.

"You're saying all this because…" I finished, awaiting her judgment, when she smiled softly and leaned in to kiss the corner of my lips lightly. "...Is it to give you an excuse to leave me?"

I shuddered, quickly looking into her eyes, because I felt her tone had turned cold, and I couldn't understand why. I saw the icy coldness in her eyes, that icy smile, and felt her body grow cold.

"No! I…" I reached out and pulled her tightly into my arms, refusing to let go. “…I just want to tell you everything about myself.”

“Is that so?” She smiled nonchalantly, then ran her finger across my lips.

“Do you really think I’m that unbelievable? I want to be with you forever, I don’t want anything separating us, I…”

Her gaze lingered on my eyes, her brow furrowing deeper. The flush on her face faded, leaving her pale. Her lips and jaw trembled uneasily… After a moment, she calmed down, her gaze drifting away, her body, which had been trying to wriggle out of my embrace, now nestled obediently against my chest.

“For me, are you willing to leave your woman and child?”

she said, gently biting my neck, her fingers sliding up, touching my eyebrows, eyes, nose, cheeks…

“I don’t know, I’m so confused right now. I can’t not tell you, but I…”

Her teeth seemed to be digging into my neck, making it difficult for me to speak. She loosened her grip slightly.

"...I can't quite explain the feeling, but I know it's very different from being with you..."

"Remember, never mention another woman in front of a woman, especially in bed..." She stopped me from saying the rest of my words with her finger, then looked up and smiled at me.

I was a little confused, unable to read her eyes. Had she forgiven me? Or not? Why was her pale face so red again? She wasn't angry; perhaps she had finished giving birth?

"You also want to know what kind of person I am, why I'm here, why I seduced you, right?" She closed her eyes, rested her face on my shoulder again, and wrapped her body around me once more.

I was breathing heavily, my blood rushing through my body, making me feel numb and tingly. I...I was waiting. From this moment on, every word she spoke would be deeply etched into my heart.

"I'm not a good girl, you know that?" Her voice drifted over, as if it weren't beside me.

I held my breath, my hands tightening their embrace around her.

You are a good girl, even though you're not a virgin, in my heart, you are the best girl! I gritted my teeth, as if defiantly challenging her words. This was my clearest conviction; once I made up my mind, I never wavered. Even though everything about her was a mystery, even though I knew almost nothing about her except her body, even though… I was certain she was the one I'd been searching for, and therefore, she was the best girl. Even though there seemed to be no evidence to support my judgment, I didn't care.

"I don't have a father. From as far back as I can remember, I've never seen a father's face…"

My heart skipped a beat. I knew all too well what it was like to be without a father. She was the same as me; she didn't have a father either.

"I was raised by a mother. She loved to drink, and when she drank, she would beat me. Can you believe it?"

Her eyes were closed, and she gave me a faint smile.

I wrapped her in the blanket and hugged her tightly.

"She made me call her 'Mom.' Actually, I've always called her that, but after I learned the true meaning of 'Mom,' I started to doubt it. But I still call her 'Mom,' even though she…"

Her body trembled slightly, and her hands gripped me tightly.

“My family is very rich. We live in a beautiful mansion with many servants. I was never happy as a child. When she was alone, she would space out, and after a while, she would start drinking. When she was almost drunk and her face was flushed, she would have a servant bring me to her side, no matter where I was hiding. Then, she would hold me in her arms and kiss me. Then she would pinch me, pinching wherever her hands touched. It hurt so much!…”

She trembled even more violently, her eyelids twitched, and her nails seemed to dig into my flesh.

I gritted my teeth and endured it. I began to understand why her emotions were so unstable; she had always been the one being hurt. Now, all I could do was try my best to protect her, cherish her, and forgive her. I felt I could do it.

"She pinched me while laughing, calling out a man's name. She laughed happily, and when she heard my screams, she was even happier. I was scared, I was in pain, I wanted to stop screaming, but I couldn't stop… Actually, when she wasn't hitting me, she was a very beautiful woman, extremely beautiful, so beautiful that no one could resist her, you know? No man could resist her, no one could.

Men! Humph! I knew what men were like when I was very young. Six years old, right? Yes, it was the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival. The moon that day was so bright, so round, like a plate hanging in the sky. That day she drank again..." Drunk, she had me found hiding in the cave. She tied me to a pillar in the pavilion and whipped me with a willow branch…

A man was drinking with her; he was so tall and strong, like a mountain. I hoped he could help me; if he could stop my mother, I wouldn't be in so much pain. He seemed completely unconcerned about my pain; he just looked me over carefully, from head to toe, nodding occasionally. Then, he stood up and hugged my mother from behind. I was truly grateful to him then, because he… My mother stopped hitting me.

They were right in front of me, his hands were moving over my mother's body, and he even slipped his hand inside her collar. At that moment, I didn't know what they were doing, I just felt that my mother's face suddenly looked very strange, her eyes were strange too, very different from when she was drunk. Their mouths were entwined, their breathing was very rapid.

I saw the man's hands slowly lifting my mother's clothes, revealing her shoulders, then her crumpled bra, and something moving inside. 'Snap,' the strap of the bra was torn, and I saw... That big hand was touching my mother's breasts... I was a little stunned at the time, but I couldn't help but look, so I looked.

I saw my mother's clothes getting less and less, and their movements becoming more and more hurried... I saw the man's terrifying body, a dark, protruding thing between his legs... My mother didn't have that thing between her legs, and her buttocks were very different from the man's, very white and round in the moonlight..."

Her voice became more and more urgent, her face rubbed against my chest, making a rustling sound, her hands wandered back and forth over my body, and her body became very hot. I can't describe the feeling in my heart at that moment, it seems that I am also trembling along with her in her memory.

"By the time I was eleven, I had already been practicing martial arts for five years. The man who taught me was [name omitted], and he moved into our house. I can't quite explain the feelings I had for that man. I hated him because he always did that to my mother; he always put that horrible thing inside her, howling like a wild animal. I don't know how my mother felt; I felt humiliated. I don't know where I heard it, but it was a very shameful insult, and they were using that dirty insult on me. Yet,

I didn't hate him that much. He was actually very good to me; he taught me martial arts, he taught me everything, and his presence seemed to make my mother [name omitted] less and less [feelings omitted]." He remembered hitting me. I still hate him because of him; my mother ignores me. I don't know if I'm being a little... I feel like being hit is the only way for me to stay close to my mother. When she hits me, I want to run away, but when she stops, I... Maybe I don't want to be ignored by my mother?

That summer, it rained a lot, sometimes for days on end, but I still had to practice martial arts. Why practice martial arts? I hadn't thought about it then. I just had to practice, otherwise I would be beaten, not given food, and locked in that very dark cave where I could only squat. I wasn't afraid of being beaten, I wasn't afraid of going hungry, I just didn't want to go to that dark cave where I could only squat.

The rain was really cold. It was so cold it felt like it seeped into my bones! I could only keep practicing in the rain. My clothes were soaked and clung uncomfortably to my skin. The rain, whipped by the wind, stung my face. I saw the man standing on the veranda, scrutinizing me from head to toe with such unbridled lewdness. His mother leaned against his chest, laughing lasciviously, seemingly enjoying herself.

Lascivious? Heh heh~ she was lasciviously! I knew that besides this man, she had slept with almost every male servant in the garden, and with other men I didn't even know. Each time, she would scream and laugh. She was actually my mother, and I was actually her daughter!

I wanted to go back to my room; my clothes were soaked. "Okay, I need to change. Also, I want to take a hot shower."

I didn't go back to my room; the man led me to the large bathroom. I thought I'd done something wrong and was going to be punished. He told me to take off my clothes, even though he was already completely naked. I didn't know what to do, just stood there dumbfounded, trembling. He shamelessly fiddled with his ugly thing in front of me, flipping the skin on the head back and forth, the reddish fleshy ball in the middle swelling little by little, the whole thing was swollen. I was

so scared; I could almost read what was about to happen in the man's eyes. I knew I was like my mother; I didn't have that thing between my legs either. Besides, my lower abdomen doesn't have any hair yet; it's completely bare. What does it look like down there? I've never seen it myself. But I can imagine it, I can picture what it would look like to have something inserted into that area; I've seen it. Besides fear, my heart is pounding. A kind of desire seems to be growing inside me. Yes, there is indeed a bit of desire.

Ever since I knew I was a woman, I've had a strange longing for that kind of thing, because I remember the pain-and-ecstasy expression on my mother's face when it was penetrated, I remember those moans that could make your heart tremble, I remember those bodies twisting and intertwining together…

I… Whether it was curiosity or something else, I secretly harbored a very definite desire for that thing, even though I was a little afraid of that thick, long thing actually penetrating my body. This thought had been lingering for a while, and whenever it appeared in my mind, I hated myself for it, because I felt I was as wanton as my mother, at least in my heart.

He came closer. I gripped my clothes tightly, squeezed my eyes shut, desperately resisting my trembling, desperately trying to control my increasingly erratic breathing and heartbeat—all in vain. I felt his body temperature, felt myself enveloped by that enormous shadow. My legs were going weak; I wanted to run away, yet I also longed to just collapse into his arms… Hehe~ I really am my mother's daughter. At that moment, I really wanted to collapse into his arms, to have him reveal the answer to the question that had been nagging at my heart for so long.

His strong hands grabbed my shoulders, and he ripped my clothes open, smacking his lips as if savoring something delicious.

I don't know why I crossed my arms over my chest, covering my breasts. Perhaps it was shame? Actually, I don't really have a concept of shame; this wasn't the first time my body had been naked in front of this man. But this time was different. I wanted to cover myself, otherwise shame would completely overwhelm me. I felt a sense of collapse, and the thoughts hidden within me were also tearing me apart.

He was behind me, his rough, large hands sliding from my shoulders to my arms, his tongue licking my back with a slippery, wet slurping sound.

I was cold, so cold that I shivered uncontrollably. His hands were rough, but warm, and so was his tongue. His hands and tongue gave me warmth, but also a tingling, itchy, and unsettling feeling. I tried my best to stay upright, the tingling and unsettling feeling making my muscles ache, my legs seemed to be losing strength, and some strange sensations were rising up from there…”

Her breath tickled my skin, her trembling body affected me. I couldn’t describe my feelings; it was as if I were there, watching my beloved being devoured by a devil. She was so young then, only eleven years old. Her body hadn’t even developed yet, had it? She was still so slender. She had endured such a tragic childhood, and now she was about to begin her adolescence in the gaping maw of a devil. I felt myself shivering uncontrollably.

His tongue licked down my back, his hands slid down my armpits and ribs, stopping at my waist. He unbuckled my belt, pulled down my pants, and his hands left shivers on my hips and legs.

My mind went blank; fear seemed insignificant at that moment. I felt his body heat warming my frozen body.

His tongue moved to my buttocks, then parted my buttocks and moved between them. His hands then slid back from my ankles, touching my calves, knees, and thighs. His hands rubbed against my thighs, the calluses making my skin red and a little sore. His hands would occasionally increase the pressure. His hands slid across my lower abdomen, and his tongue touched the spot I feared most, making a smacking sound as he sucked…

Perhaps I am indeed born wanton; at that moment, I forgot shame, as if I had forgotten everything. I just felt so good. It felt like even my insides felt good. The rubbing and licking drove away the cold and fear within me. The comfortable feeling started from where he touched me, then gradually seeped into my internal organs, spreading through my veins, reaching my heart, and even making my scalp itch. I felt myself swaying, and every pore on my body seemed to be expanding, as if the fine hairs on my skin were about to

fall out. It felt as if countless tiny hands were reaching out from my mind, endlessly scratching and clawing inside me; one of them seemed to be tickling my throat, making me want to scream. This feeling was very different from when I was being beaten and wanted to scream. My screams when I was being beaten were just to match my mother's laughter, but now, I genuinely wanted to scream…

The bathroom was so hot, filled with steam that blurred my vision, emanating from the bathtub. The water was so clear, with fragrant flower petals floating on the surface, their scent carried by the steam, filling the room. I felt like I was floating.

The water was so hot, I wanted to jump out of the tub. But I had no strength at all. I could only lean against the man, panting, letting him rub my body, letting him penetrate me…

I knew my body should be able to let him in; I had a hole there, I had touched my urethra myself. Above that little hole was something that felt itchy, sore, and pleasurable to touch, and he kept fiddling with it with his fingers. I couldn't stand it, so I kept twisting and throbbing, but I didn't want him to stop. It felt so good; his caresses were plucking at my heartstrings, controlling me.

I waited, feeling a strong urge rising within me. Surely, once he entered, the restless, itchy feeling would be relieved? I endlessly imagined his dark, gooey thing entering my body, even though I couldn't see it. "Like this..."

Her legs moved against my waist, her pubic hair rustling against my lower abdomen, rubbing against my skin and pubic hair.

I felt it; I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop my frantic heartbeat. I felt the soft pads between her legs getting warm from the friction, felt her moist labia touching my penis again and again, wet and tender. I don't know why, hearing her talk about these terrible things, my body became excited, even though my heart trembled along with hers. My penis was erect, occasionally touching her delicate tissue...

Her hands wrapped around, gently grasping my penis, supporting it, and then letting my glans slowly explore the cleft.

"No, no, I can't..." I gasped. I meant it; although my body desperately wanted her, I knew my heart wouldn't allow me to do that. Wouldn't that be like rubbing salt into her wounded heart?

"I want to." She pulled her arm away from mine and used my chest to prop herself up.

I froze. Her face was streaked with tears, which still streamed from her eyes, but her face was flushed, her brows were furrowed, and she seemed anxious…

I can't describe the intense shock I felt when I saw her like this. Her beauty had suddenly gained a touch of untamed wildness, a hint of poignant sorrow, and a captivating allure. She had completely changed, transforming from a seemingly poised yet somewhat shy girl into a dazzlingly seductive woman. To be precise, behind her seductive allure, I saw a leaping hatred, which she was releasing without reservation. I was struck, and suddenly felt a sense of panic. As for why? I couldn't explain it.

“Oh—” She let out a long sigh, sat up, and remained still. Her hand moved up her abdomen, cupping her breast in her palm. Her head drooped to her chest, her long hair obscuring her face.

I was captivated by the fervor she created for me: my penis was enveloped by her, finding warmth and comfort in that tightly closed cavity, it felt wonderful; my gaze followed her hand to her chest, watching through her beautiful, soft hair as those protruding amber nipples trembled sensually; I saw her chest and abdomen heaving violently, her small navel changing shape with each rise and fall; her lower abdomen was also writhing; her legs were at my waist, the soft friction arousing my muscles…

“Move! Won’t it feel better if you move?” She looked up at me, her gaze becoming unfamiliar. “Do I have to do this?” She opened her eyes wide, her empty gaze fixed on my face, and then she began…

My penis moved in and out of her vagina in rhythm with her movements. Her vagina was hot and slippery, but the feeling of her tight grip was clearly conveyed to me. When I entered, her vagina would relax slightly, making the entry smoother, swallowing my penis all the way to its deepest point. When I released it, her vagina would tighten, maximizing the friction, as if trying to keep my entire penis there. Changing the position slightly, the tightness and looseness made the feeling of penetration even stronger…

her hips… It began to swirl, and the friction was no longer a simple intercourse; her vagina spiraled around my penis, the suction from each twist almost drawing me in… Her hands braced against my chest, her upper body leaning forward. With the movement of her body, her long hair swept across my chest and abdomen…

Ten, Spring.

A heavy rumble of thunder sounded in my ears, illuminating the entire dilapidated temple for a moment. I felt a cold wind carrying slanted raindrops that swept across my face.

Was what had just appeared in my mind real or unreal? I couldn't say. But I wished it were real. What happened, the past years flowing like water, passion burning like fire, beauty like jade—how wonderful that was! I was young then, unaware that besides my own heart, a cold heart beat beside me.

Is that so? Everything in my memory seems like a beautiful adventure; why did I suddenly think of coldness? It seems my mind has been incredibly chaotic lately.

I reached up and wiped my face, as if trying to erase those jumbled thoughts along with the raindrops, wondering if I could succeed.

Actually, it's very difficult to erase them; I know my heart is still desperately searching. The story of that person in my heart... The matter has only just begun; what will happen next? I know I know, but I can't remember now simply because my memory isn't working very well.

Perhaps older people like to reminisce about their past? I like to think about it.

But why do I seem to be intentionally avoiding it? It's as if I'm intentionally interrupting my thoughts, not because of that loud thunder.

Why am I forcibly interrupting my memories? I really don't understand. Is it an unhealable wound?

Could it be a wound? Those times were so good. When I recall them, I not only gain... A wave of pleasure washed over me, and a sweet feeling rose within me; I think I was laughing.

Laughing? Yes, I couldn't even remember the last time I'd laughed genuinely. Now, I was indeed laughing.

Was I laughing? Why did the laughter sound so shrill? The thunder, the wind, and the creaking of the dilapidated temple seemed unable to drown it out.

Who, who was imitating my laughter? I was getting a little annoyed.

It didn't seem like they were imitating me; the laughter sounded somewhat mournful.

I lifted my eyelids, trying to get a clearer picture of the scene in the dilapidated temple.

What was that little girl up to?

She was leaning against an already crumbling pillar, and she was even shaking it... A few tiles have fallen, and the leak is a major problem. What the hell?! Would it be better if the house collapsed?

I don't want to be soaking wet in the rain, and I don't want that little girl to cause this dilapidated temple to collapse. I have to stop her, but I can't bear to.

I lower my head and count on my fingers, otherwise I'll never get it right.

Is it the fifty-fifth year or the fifty-sixth? The exact number, like those strange thoughts, always leaves me confused. Actually, there's no need to be too clear; I've been in this world for over fifty years. In those fifty-plus years, I've seen all sorts of people, and all sorts of... All sorts of smiles. But such heartfelt hatred, expressed through a piercing laugh, seems rare.

I looked up, silently watching the little girl trembling, her left hand's fingers embedded in the pillar.

She was trembling violently, her whole body shaking. She was laughing, her neck tilted back, her empty gaze fixed on the leaky hole where several tiles had fallen. The smile was indescribable, exaggerated. To be honest, it wasn't pretty. Why would a pretty little girl laugh like that? Such a drastic change in facial expression could easily wrinkle that beautiful face. Especially with tears streaming down her face, the wind... It was quite cool, and her delicate face was easily sore.

My heart skipped a beat, and I didn't know why I felt a little excited. My gaze lingered on the girl, unable to look away...

haggardness, resentment, a struggle to control herself, a pre-explosion throes of repression, distortion... and what else? Perhaps there was much more.

Besides these complex emotions, I also saw her trembling lips. They seemed bloodless, lacking their usual vibrancy, but they were undeniably alluring. I saw her take a few breaths, then her teeth bit down hard on those lips. And then her laughter became peculiar, emanating from the corners of her mouth and nose.

She tilted her head back. Actually, not much of her neck was exposed, but because her skin was so good, that tender part of her neck, once exposed to the light… Her chest was heaving rapidly. Oh! What a beautiful chest! Her blouse was dry, a little loose, but the lines of her chest were truly alluring!

Youth is wonderful! This young girl is indeed quite pretty, but my excitement stems from her enviable youth.

There wasn't just this young girl in the dilapidated temple; in a corner, there was a handsome couple, almost too beautiful to touch.

I vaguely remembered something; there seemed to be some trouble between them. Apparently, this girl had taken a liking to that rather dashing young man, and he, perhaps due to inferiority or some other reason, had married someone else. Oh, that other person was there too, leaning against the young man.

My gaze lingered on that perfect couple for a long time, unable to look away.

Actually, there was nothing particularly remarkable about them; as usual, I shouldn't have stared at them so intently.

That young man was indeed quite dashing. He was handsome, and had a certain ethereal quality. Ethereal? The word conjures up an image in my mind. Though not entirely accurate, I know it perfectly captures the essence of the word. This young man is far from it.

The young woman is quite charming too. Small nose, small mouth, sweet face, especially those soft, watery eyes. Charming, soft? My heart is pounding again, and other images keep appearing in my mind, confirming all the words used to describe women. They

aren't particularly striking, but I just stare at them, unable to look away.

Something seems to be popping into my head again, vague and unclear…

**********

...

Looking out from the eaves of the main house, the distant snow-capped mountains, veiled in blue sky, appear translucent, pure, and even a little mysterious; the sky is so blue… I can't quite describe the feeling; the clouds playfully change patterns in the blue sky, mirroring the snow-capped mountains as well.

Closer still, there's my courtyard and my house. Yes, it's mine, because I know it so well.

I built this house with my own hands, brick by brick, piece by piece, stone by stone. Why went through all that trouble to build a house? I can't quite remember. It seems to be to commemorate someone, and a woman at that. As for whether it was for Lin Chaoying? I really can't say. Was it? That's possible; I know Lin Chaoying is a particularly important person in my life. Was it not? That's also possible; I know Lin Chaoying isn't the only one etched in my memory. This house is entirely in the style of the Jiangnan water towns, exquisite and elegant, quite beautiful.

I also designed this courtyard myself.

The covered walkway extends freely among the mountains, rocks, trees, and pools; it's where I take walks.

The mountains are made of stone. The more unusual the stone, the more I like it; I love the cool feeling inside the cave. When it gets hot, I sleep among the stones.

The tree is a peach tree… a face as beautiful as a peach blossom, are peach blossoms like a beautiful face? Originally, I didn't like peach trees, nor did I particularly like peach blossoms; I didn't have any of these things in my yard. Later, they appeared because someone loved peach blossoms in March.

She said to me, "...I found a place where peach blossoms are everywhere, do you want to go see it?"

I wanted to tell her, "Come with me, my place is full of peach blossoms too."

I didn't, because I couldn't lie to her. At that time, I really didn't have peach blossoms in my garden, and where I lived, peach blossoms were very difficult to grow.

The pool is a flowing pool. I put in a lot of effort to keep this water flowing steadily throughout the year, always gurgling in my garden. It was really hard work, because our place freezes over in winter. I dug some underground channels under the water to heat it and prevent it from freezing. But it was all worth it, because stagnant water couldn't match her beauty.

I've built it, but I always live alone.

Living here, I wonder if I'll just drift along, waiting in this desolate place like this garden.

"Master, a message from the young master via carrier pigeon." A snake servant in a white robe, head bowed, carries a delicate little bamboo tube in both hands, crawling along the stone path leading from the moon gate. The tube is engraved with a small snake flicking its tongue—Ke'er's mark.

I'm sitting by the clear pond, washing my feet and fishing with my hookless rod.

Usually, no one is allowed to disturb me at this time; the snake servants know the consequences—when the peach blossoms bloom, the master is at his most reclusive and violent.

There's only one exception: when there's news of Ke'er.

Ke'er has grown up; he's twenty-six now, and he's already roamed the martial world. But I still feel he's a child, and I'm always worried about him.

Actually, there's nothing to worry about; his martial arts are quite good. Ke'er is my pride, the brightest star in my life. I can't express how important he is to me; without him, I don't know if I would be alive today. Yes, life is brighter because of him. The world, which had become gloomy, became vibrant again with his sweet, wide smile. Oh,

that was when he was little; his smile back then pulled me out of the grayness. Ke'er's smile isn't so innocent now. Although he smiles more now than when he was little and loves to show off his beautiful, straight teeth, he's not as cute as he used to be.

Not cute anymore? No, I still love him so much; he's a part of me! And he definitely has things that make him lovable.

He's a handsome boy, his looks inherited from his mother. He's a very intelligent child; his intelligence might have come from me. We never need to teach each other martial arts a third time.

An outstanding child is prone to pride. Looking back now, perhaps I spoiled Ke'er too much, or perhaps I liked him too much. His martial arts skills, while not bad, seemed quite different from my own level in my twenties. Indeed, there was a significant gap! He couldn't seem to focus solely on martial arts practice; he seemed to think there were many other interesting things to do besides it.

I noticed this flaw in Ke'er a long time ago, and I even hit him for it—the only time I ever did.

"Uncle, if you hit me, it's not good for me. My mother in heaven will…" he said, his neck stiff and defiant as he looked at me.

My head went blank, and I couldn't bring myself to hit him. How could I do that? Now it was just the two of us, relying on each other.

So, Ke'er's martial arts skills, like his academic achievements, remained mediocre. I knew this wasn't good, but I had no choice. Actually, it didn't matter; Ke'er had me by his side.

I opened the lid of the small bamboo tube and took out Ke'er's handwritten letter from the middle.

"My esteemed uncle, I have spent over a year wandering the world, carefree and unrestrained. While I have not encountered any great dangers, the hardships and weariness of life, the trials of wind and dew, have made me yearn

for marriage. In the past, I was like a frog in a white camel, oblivious to the wonders of the world. I am now twenty-six years old, and marriage is still unresolved. I have often urged you to marry, but I have always considered it a burden and ignored it, thus letting my youth slip away like water, a great regret. Now, I am wandering through the prosperous Central Plains. There is a woman named Huang, beautiful as a fairy; shrouded in mist and smoke, graceful as a feather; her gaze is radiant, truly an extraordinary person. I wish to marry her, and I am very eager. I implore you, my uncle, to personally travel to the Eastern Sea; only then can this beautiful union be accomplished. Sincerely, Ke."

I stroked my brush-like beard, delighted. What a joy! Ke'er actually wants to settle down.

Women were a fascinating thing for Ke'er to ponder. He was always surrounded by countless girls, so he never thought about settling down.

Actually, whether or not one settles down isn't a big deal, but children are important; they're the continuation of life. Ke'er seemed not to understand this; he was just playing around.

Was it really that fun? Girls are wonderful, especially beautiful ones, I know. But I also know that physical pleasure quickly fades, leaving behind more loneliness and desolation on the pillow. A man needs to find a home for his soul; it took me so many years to understand this.

Ke'er is still young, a bit naive. Perhaps he'll understand when he grows up, I always think. Experiencing more women is beneficial; after shedding the superficiality, one can know what truly matters. So I never stopped Ke'er's almost obsessive love for girls.

Now, he's sent a letter from the Central Plains, asking me to travel there for a girl. I'm truly happy. He must have found her, right? Ke'er has grown up, hasn't he?

I pulled my feet out of the clear pool and stood up without even putting on my boots. I didn't know if my face was a little red, if my eyes were a little too excited, if my movements were a little too hasty; my heart was pounding.

The snake servant was clearly a little surprised; he actually looked up at me.

Had I lost my composure? Oh, a little, perhaps because I was too happy.

"Go to the warm pavilion and pack my things; I'm going out." I unbuckled the string of silver keys from my belt and tossed it in front of the snake servant.

"Yes." He took the keys with trepidation and backed away.

I didn't raise my eyelids to look at the snake servant again; I had no interest in anything that would no longer exist in this world.

**********************************

Today, my master was really a little special. A blush had appeared on his usually expressionless white face, and a hint of excitement had appeared in his usually ethereal eyes. My master actually wanted me to go to the warm pavilion! My God! The warm pavilion! That's a dreamlike place!

Following the delicate pebble path, inhaling the indescribable fragrance of the vibrant peach blossoms wafting from the roadside, and listening to the babbling brook, she stepped onto the small bridge. Just fifteen more steps, past the small hill that obscured her view, and there stood the small building with upturned eaves nestled among the pink peach blossoms. The snake servant felt her hands tremble slightly; the silver keys seemed almost transparent.

No one but her master had ever entered that mysterious warm pavilion. What was it like there? What was there? Were there legendary fairies? Perhaps? According to the older snake servants, her master was a hero who could bring back fairies from the snowy mountains, and they had truly witnessed it. Perhaps the legendary treasures were in the warm pavilion? It was said that her master was the best assassin in the martial world, and also an exceptionally wealthy killer; his…

There was the sound of a zither, oh, it was the sound of a harp. Was

there someone in the warm pavilion? Who was it? Could it be a fairy?

It must be a fairy; a man as extraordinary as her master should be accompanied by a fairy.

Listen, how beautiful the zither music is, like the sound of melting, falling icicles.

The window of the small building is open, and the zither music is splashing out from it.

It seems there's even a woman's sigh mixed in with the music! This sigh is like the wind drifting through an empty valley.

The snake servant quickened his pace, clutching the key, and arrived at the door of the warm pavilion, which had a silver lock.

His heart pounded, his hands trembled, as if he were bewitched.

Inside was where his master and the fairy lived; no one had ever seen what it looked like. Now, he was about to go in. Was it an honor, or…? No matter what, he had to go in and see; that sigh seemed like a spell.

The hall on the first floor was empty, devoid of any light. Yet, the floor was spotless, reflecting the light and illuminating the entire hall. On the south-facing wall was a painting, depicting the back of a man.

Who was this man? It didn't seem to be a portrait of his master. This man was shorter than his master, but seemed stronger. His hair and clothes fluttered in the wind, as if he were about to float out of the painting. It was a beautiful painting; the simple lines captured the elegant bearing of a man.

The zither music stopped, but the lingering resonance seemed to persist, like a fallen bead still rolling.

The floorboards creaked softly a few times, and then…

Snake Slave involuntarily turned his face towards the stairs, expectant.

A faint, delicate fragrance wafted over, and soft, slow footsteps approached the stairs. He saw a swaying white skirt at the top of the stairs, and a snow-white, pink foot peeked out from the hem… Oh, the toenails were painted a vibrant red.

No wonder the footsteps were so light; fairies don't wear shoes. Snake Slave stared blankly at the top of the stairs, clutching his chest tightly, forgetting his manners and not caring that his keys had fallen to the floor. His eyes were fixed on that foot that had once again hidden in the hem of the skirt—that foot was truly beautiful! Playful, delicate toes; those slender, white insteps, as translucent as jade; oh, those pink soles; and those perfectly rounded ankles; and…

“Come up.” That soft voice was so beautiful, so gentle, like the murmuring of a swallow from Jiangnan!

Go up? She wants me to go up! Why does she want me to go up? Does she know how much I want to…see her?

Can I? Do I have that kind of luck? I'm just a lowly snake slave, the lowest of the low.

But, but that voice is like a spell, gripping my feet, gripping me, and I actually started walking towards the stairs. I want to see her so badly, I can't even explain why I want to. The moment her skirt fluttered by, even without her invitation, I feel I would have chased after her without hesitation, I just don't dare. Now, she's actually inviting me, that's great! Didn't my

master tell me to come and pack my things? Why is there a fairy living here? Could it be…?

I can't worry about that now, I have to go, she told me to go up.

The zither music started again. It played with each step I took. It was like my heart beating with each beat. There was also a soft laugh in between.

Was she laughing because I came? Was it? There was no one else!

What was her laugh like? How beautiful would a fairy's laugh be?

My hands and feet felt numb; my body seemed to be expanding, yet also shrinking; my scalp, skin, and pores, I couldn't tell if they were tightening or loosening, but they were definitely moving. These dozen or so steps were truly a long and wonderful journey, a journey in which many things I didn't know before began to emerge in my mind.

The furnishings on the second floor were as simple as could be: a low table, two cushions, and a bamboo curtain that divided the room in two, behind which lay a hazy mystery.

"Sit." She gently swayed her sleeve.

I really wanted to sit down, my legs were so weak. But my mind seemed to be fuzzy, I just stared blankly at the scenery behind the bamboo curtain.

It's truly a beautiful scene, like the gentle warmth of mountains and water shrouded in fine mist. The bamboo curtain makes the scenery inside hazy, and this haziness is wonderful.

There's a zither-playing table there, and beside it leans a graceful, flowing curve. It seems a bit abstract; can a woman be described simply by curves? Indeed, no, because that curve is not only exquisitely beautiful but also constantly flowing. How can it be described?

There's really no need to expend effort describing her; she simply leaned there, languid, languid, and elegant, naturally exuding an ethereal, otherworldly quality. This ethereal quality seemed almost artificial, evident in the bamboo curtain and the wisps of smoke rising from the incense burner beside the zither. The interplay of light and shadow, the rising smoke, made the scene appear to float, creating an illusion.

The illusion lingered in my mind; I saw her snow-white robes in the light and shadow, her serene and elegant profile, her hand gently resting on the zither… Oh, those slender fingers, those delicate and supple palms, I couldn't ignore the glossy wrist at the cuff, the shoulder beneath the white robe, the graceful, flowing lines, the glimpse of her toes peeking out from the hem of her skirt… And so, she seemed as if she might vanish before my eyes at any moment, ethereal and unreal.

Standing there dumbfounded outside the bamboo curtain, I was completely lost, not even having seen the face of this fairy, yet I had already lost all sense of where I was.

"Sit down." A silvery laugh rang out, and she turned her face, her eyelids lifting.

I was struck, instantly captivated by that warm, mischievous gaze; my legs went weak.

The scenery before me was still blurry, but her eyes were crystal clear, as if they were right next to me. The laughter was clear, her joy clear; it was as if I could see the corners of her mouth slightly upturned, her cheeks twitching, and a mesmerizing smile blooming on her fair, rosy cheeks, captivating and enchanting.

How annoying the curtains! They obscure the magical scenery. How wonderful the curtains! They block out the dazzling light.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

Actually, there's nothing to pack up; the Central Plains have everything. What needs packing up is probably my heart. I haven't been to the Central Plains in so long. I think I told myself I wouldn't go back, and even the second Mount Hua Sword Tournament, which I'd agreed to, I'm not really planning to participate. That title of the world's best is completely unimportant to me.

The Nine Yin Manual was somewhat tempting, but it was merely another level of martial arts, and I wasn't too interested. I didn't quite believe that possessing a martial arts manual that had been hailed as a myth could be so magical. After all, martial arts are practiced and created by people, and I didn't think something created by others could be more wondrous than what I imagined.

Curiosity was a factor; martial arts are indeed incredibly beautiful, and a brand-new martial art is indeed like the allure of a delicate, naked virgin to a lustful man, but none of that was enough to make me return to that land with my once shattered heart.

I still needed to gather my strength and go to the Central Plains, because of Ke'er.

The only thing I needed to take with me was this half of the jade pendant. Since I obtained it, it had never left my heart. It was a piece of ordinary, not-so-valuable green jade, and the carving wasn't particularly refined; it roughly depicted a Guanyin image. Now, it was in two pieces, Guanyin's one eye squinting at the chaotic world, and a trace of blood on her knee that would never fade. The blood was mine, dripping from my heart onto this jade pendant. This jade has a story, but I cannot tell it. If I did, my heart would be unable to bear it. This is why I cannot go to the Central Plains.

Now, this jade pendant is very smooth, even the broken edges are smooth and lustrous. I hold it in my hand, gently touching it with my fingers, gazing at the bloodstain. Tenderness rises in my heart, softening my always overly serious face, then my nose feels a little sore, then my eyes feel a little hot…

At dusk, I walk through the peach grove and sit down on the stone bench in front of the warm pavilion. Compared to the colorful and delicate peach blossoms under the sunlight, I prefer the languid beauty of the sunset. I think the peach blossoms in the warm pavilion are most beautiful in the sunset, and the pungent smell isn't so strong then.

The door is closed, locked, the key hanging in the keyhole. The windows are also tightly shut, but sharp cries still seep out from the warm pavilion.

My hands clenched into fists, so tightly they were sweating. I knew what was happening inside, and just thinking about it excited me. But I had to wait a while, until everything calmed down before I could go in. She liked cleanliness and didn't like others seeing the bloody scenes she created. Unless I was particularly happy or particularly unhappy, I had no right to share that scene with her.

The setting sun poured its golden afterglow from behind the snow-capped mountains into my peach grove. Tired petals drifted down in the wind, reflecting the blood-red color of the setting sun.

I watched the falling petals, gently exhaled, closed my eyes, and quietly savored the last warmth of the sunset.

The light dimmed a bit; the sun seemed to have hidden behind the snow-capped mountains. The uneasy screams stopped and disappeared. In their place came a few melodious zither notes.

I stood up, walked to the door of the warm pavilion, gently unlocked it, hung the key back on my belt, and then pushed the door open.

The first floor was still spotless. I walked up to the portrait and examined the figure closely, then smiled.

The room was filled with a strong sandalwood incense, a smell I disliked; the smell of blood was far more pungent. However, she seemed to like using sandalwood to mask the stench of blood, making it seem as if nothing had happened.

I took out tinder and flint, went to the lampstand, and carefully lit the lamp filled with fresh oil, illuminating the hall. The lamp was excellent; no unpleasant smoke, and it was bright.

The stairs were spotless, a good habit of hers. I bent down, brought my nose close to the stairs, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and quietly let the slightly fishy smell circulate in my lungs, shivering with excitement.

The floorboards creaked softly a few times. The white hem of her shirt and the red-painted toenails of her feet didn't appear at the top of the stairs; she had come, but was hiding.

I straightened up, sniffed contentedly, let out a long sigh, and then stepped onto the stairs.

"No, no... Don't come up here! Get out!" she screamed hoarsely, her voice hoarse and fearful.

"You don't want me?" I climbed the stairs slowly, one step at a time, my voice unwavering.

"I..." Her breathing quickened, and I could hear the sound of her hitting the wall. "...Please, please stop torturing me." Her voice lowered, becoming timid and soft, turning into a plea, a plea with something peculiar, trembling and soft.

"Torture? Do you think that's torture? Don't you like the taste of blood? Don't you love killing? How about the taste of a still-beating heart? Do you think I'm torturing you? Who's torturing whom? Why did you do that when I begged you? Huh!?" My voice remained unchanged—my pace, tone, breathing, heartbeat, even my steps on the stairs.

Three steps to go, I heard a body slide down the wall.

"No, stop talking!" she screamed, banging her head against the wall.

“Fine, I won’t say it then. You know I always listen to you. I’m here, come here.” I stepped onto the last step and stood still.

“I don’t…” I could hear the rustling of clothes, her rapid breathing.

I waited, my heart sinking heavier and heavier, as if it would crush the floorboards.

She came, crawling on her knees to the sliding door opposite the stairwell. Her hands, gripping the door, were deathly pale, as was her face pressed against it. Her lips were pale and trembling, and her once sword-like phoenix eyes were filled with fear…

fear? Heh heh~ Was she afraid of me? No. Actually, she wasn’t the same person anymore. She had been tormented like this by something that could only be called a devil, but that thing wasn’t me.

I stood there, quietly watching her.

She avoided my gaze, but to accurately grasp my meaning, she still had to muster the courage to face me.

"Should I take off my clothes? This red shirt is really superfluous, isn't it?" Her eyelids drooped, her eyelashes hiding her eyes, and she peeked from behind them. Her cheeks twitched slightly, and her lips were pursed nervously. Her hand moved away from the sliding door...

I watched her silently. Looking at her thin, haggard face, I saw the marks of time; wrinkles appeared at the corners of her eyes and mouth, and her cheeks were no longer as delicate as before. I watched her pale hand reach up to remove the wig from her head, and a cascade of silver hair fell down; her hair was already completely white. I watched her fingers deftly and skillfully untie her own belt, deftly and skillfully removing her white shirt. She said the white shirt was actually a red shirt... My silence didn't mean I wasn't moved.

Soon, she was completely naked in the air, and she curled up shyly.

She was still so beautiful; her body still retained the radiance of her youth. Her legs, her waist, her skin… oh, it seems nothing has changed. What's different is her breasts; her once small breasts are now fuller, the nipples and areolas are much darker, and there are many fine teeth marks on them. What's different is her buttocks; her once slightly narrow buttocks are now plump and rounded, the buttocks of a mature woman. But she still hasn't changed at all, in my heart.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/192930.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=192930&aspx=1

Previous Page : The Ultimate Servant - An Biru's Story

Next Page : The Secret Chamber Romance of the Condor Heroes

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

Western Poison

comment Open a new window to view comments