Erotic Journey to the West

Many years later, I miss the fairy in the peach blossom forest terribly. I know that as a "Buddha," this is very wrong. I should forget everything, all the love and hate, sorrow and joy, achievements and ideals.
But I know that even if I forget myself, when that rosy cloud brushes past my window, I will still remember that beautiful face, those transparent eyes, and that silver bell-like singing voice from three thousand years ago.
"Shall I eat you?"
"No. "
"Why?"
"I haven't taken a bath yet."
She giggled, her pink dress swaying gently, like a beautiful rosy cloud.

(I)
Sun Wukong hasn't come to see me for hundreds of years. On the journey to the West, my disciple saved my life countless times. We didn't realize it was a game; we were so engrossed, weeping and laughing together, but only at the end did we understand that everything was an illusion. All the mountains, all the waters, all the demons and monsters on the journey to the West were illusions set up by the Buddha.

"After all these years, are you still angry?" I asked him three hundred years ago.
He sighed, "Do you know what I regret most?"
"What is it?"
"I truly regret knowing you, Master."

I said this to him many years ago, when he was still a monkey.
How different are monkeys and humans? Sun Wukong said, "Only a sheet of paper."
"Unfold this sheet, and there's a secret inside." Three thousand years ago, that monkey lay under the tree, smiling.
I broke the seal.
A deafening roar, and in an instant, the sky collapsed and the earth shattered. A golden light rose from the valley, and the monkey soared into the sky, sitting on a cloud, laughing loudly.
"Hahaha, you saved me, but I've decided to kill you. What do you have to say?"
"I truly regret knowing you, monkey."

He didn't kill me; he became my disciple.
Many years later, I learned that it was also Buddha's arrangement. He didn't want to watch a play performed by one person; it wasn't exciting enough.

The demoness Peach captivated me on a beautiful night. She waved her hand, and I couldn't move.
"Where are you taking me?" I struggled to ask. There was a bright blue moon in the sky.
She slapped me hard. "Don't speak! If you keep babbling, I'll kill you!"
We flew through the forest, insects chirping, leaves gently swaying. She exuded a faint fragrance. I felt a little scared, but mostly melancholy. All of this was so much like the dream I often had in my youth.

"Monk, are you dead?" she suddenly asked me.
"Not yet, it's so good to be alive. Even if you died, I wouldn't die," I said with a smile.
She turned around and slapped me across the face again, half of my cheek burning with pain. "You're not allowed to speak! You dare to say that?!"
"Amitabha, good, good."
"Slap!" Another slap.
"Amitabha!!" I roared, "Good, good!!"
"Slap!"
"Amitabha Amitabha!!!!"
"Slap! Slap!"
"Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha Amitabha..."
She giggled, "I've never seen such a stubborn monk like you. Okay, I won't hit you anymore, but you're not allowed to nag."

This was the first day; she slapped me five times, but in the end, I won.

(II)
After attaining Buddhahood, the world is utterly silent. Light the lamp, extinguish the lamp, and the world is filled with light. All the scriptures are meant to help you forget. Forget the past, forget yourself, forget the scriptures themselves.

I also see those who have renounced desire, who dwell in emptiness and tranquility, deeply cultivating meditation, and attaining the five supernatural powers.
I also see Bodhisattvas, peacefully meditating with palms joined, praising the Dharma Kings with countless verses.
I also see Bodhisattvas, with profound wisdom and unwavering will, able to question all Buddhas, and accept and uphold all that they hear.
I also see the Buddha's disciples…
I softly recite, feeling myself gradually drifting away, the song fading away among the stars, the blooming and withering of flowers, the joys and sorrows of human life, all like a gentle breeze behind my ears.
For a time, I thought I had truly forgotten everything. I was quiet and happy. The sands of the Ganges piled up into mountains, but I didn't want a single grain.

"Master!"
I looked up and saw a monkey before me.
"Who are you looking for?" I asked him.
"Master, don't you remember? I'm Wukong."
"Wukong... Wukong?"
The sea of memories surged, crashing against the walls of time. Those blurry memories gradually became clear, and I saw the monkey before me with tears in his eyes.
"Master!" he cried out, "Is this the happy life we've always been pursuing?"

When we left the peach blossom forest, neither of us spoke. After a long time, he suddenly asked me, "Master, what is happiness?"
"Happiness is just a feeling. Perhaps when we reach the Western Paradise, we will understand."
"Then, are you happy now?" He tilted his monkey head and looked at me.
My eyes instantly welled up with tears. "Fuck your mother! Shut up!" I said rudely.

Those three words, "fuck your mother," were taught to me by the fairy Peach.

Deep within the peach grove, there was a beautiful garden. Petals littered the green grass.
"We're home!" Peach let out a long breath and threw me heavily to the ground. "You're really heavy, stubborn monk."
I ignored her, a trickle of blood seeping from the corner of my mouth—from her beating.
"You're ignoring me, stubborn monk?"
I turned my face away.
"You dare ignore me? Aren't you afraid I'll hit you?" she threatened.
I snorted.
"Right, you're not afraid of being hit," she muttered to herself, "Then I'll curse you!"
"Hmph!"
"What will I curse you for? How do you humans curse?"
"Fuck your mother!" I stared directly at her. If she dared to hit me again, I'd fight her to the death, I thought.
"Fuck your mother, fuck your mother, hehe, this is so much fun."
There are countless demons on the journey to the West, but I've never seen one as stupid as her.
"What do you want to do with me?"
She walked around me, "My sister said that eating your flesh will grant immortality, are you that good, stubborn monk?"
"I never bathe, my flesh is smelly and hard, eating it will poison you!" I said fiercely.
She suddenly pounced on me from behind and bit me hard on the arm, drawing blood.
"Ouch, ouch~~" I cried out in pain, "Fuck your mother!"

(III)

Legend has it that there is a spell called "Dream Return," which allows you to travel back in time along the path in your dream.

"Sanzang, why have you come?" Buddha asked from his lotus throne.
I kowtowed, "I wish to ask my master to teach me the art of Dream Return."
"Where do you want to go back to?"
"Back to the journey to the West."
He smiled. "Have you ever gone to retrieve the scriptures?"
My head slammed heavily on the ground twice, and blood flowed out, a bright crimson, like a blooming peach blossom.
"You've fallen into the demonic path, Sanzang! When have you ever gone to retrieve the scriptures?!" Buddha roared.
I was stunned. I saw my life unfold before my eyes like a long scroll painting. I saw myself emerge from a woman's body, crying out to the world; I saw myself slowly standing, walking unsteadily, babbling; I saw myself studying and cultivating diligently on Mount Wuyue; I saw myself gradually growing old, some people weeping around my body; I saw my soul leave my body, slowly rising in the white clouds, all the sunlight shining on me, and I became a Buddha.
"Have you ever gone on a pilgrimage?"
...
My heart felt empty, and I swayed as if about to collapse.
"Come, come with me, I'll take you back," said the boy beside Buddha.
"What did you say?" I suddenly opened my eyes.

"Come with me! I'll take you back!" The demon Peach grabbed my collar.
"I won't go!" I struggled desperately, "You damned demon, I'll definitely have my disciple kill you!"
Peach sighed, "It's up to you, but I'm telling you, my sister is coming soon. You... take care."

After I became a Buddha, I was no longer the stubborn and impulsive monk I once was. I knew that everything I saw was an illusion; a gust of wind would bring it all away. Three thousand years have passed, how many kingdoms have been destroyed, how many cities have been abandoned, the mortal world has changed its appearance after the vicissitudes of time, leaving no trace. Whether you persist or give up, the final outcome is the same: physical form, transformation, all return to emptiness.

In the fairy's cave, demons danced wildly, and the peach tree spirit laughed heartily.
"Immortality!" she cried.
"Immortality! Immortality! Immortality!" hundreds of little demons echoed in unison.
I was chained to a pillar, staring blankly at these ignorant creatures. Yes, I was about to die, but they would never live forever. Early death or late death, in the Buddha's eyes, made no difference.
Peach stood at a distance, quietly watching me.
If I weren't a monk, I would surely have sincerely praised her beauty; she was like a blooming peach blossom, fragrant and radiant, making the entire cave even brighter. She was neither pus nor a skeleton, and Buddhist scriptures weren't always correct, I thought.
"Wash Tang Sanzang clean and put him in the steamer!" the peach tree spirit shouted.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" the little demons cheered.
Peach's body trembled violently, her face flushed. "Look how happy she is!" I thought bitterly.
Two demons lifted me up and started to walk out. The cave was rugged, and my head hit the stone wall, throbbing painfully.
"Wait!" Peach suddenly said.
She grabbed my arm, a smile spreading across her face. "Sister, these rough things definitely won't get clean. I'll go!"
"Okay!" the peach tree spirit said. "You've done a great job this time. Which piece of meat do you want to eat? You can choose!"
"I want to eat his heart!" Peach said, biting her lip. Her teeth gleamed, like the most precious jade in the world.

(IV)
In my youth, I often had the same dream: on an endless grassland, I rode a white horse at breakneck speed, a shy girl buried her face in my back, her arms tightly wrapped around my waist. My expression was both happy and sad. In the stillness, the girl raised her head and murmured in my ear: If, if…
I opened my eyes, and the first morning bell rang outside the door. At this moment, I was always incredibly sad.
“You are a romantic,” Master Xuanku said, stroking my bald head, “You shouldn’t have come here.”
“Where should I go?”
Master Xuanku shook his head for a long time.

To this day, I still don’t know where I should go. Becoming a Buddha is difficult, but I have; dreaming is easy, but for thousands of years, I have never been able to return to that dream.

Peach didn't take me to the riverbank; she took my hand and, like moonlight, flew into the depths of the peach grove, where mist shrouded everything. "Do you want to devour Tang Sanzang's flesh all by yourself?" I asked coldly.
"Shh… don't speak!" She didn't turn back, leading me past peach trees, her pink scarf fluttering in the wind, gently brushing against my eyes.
The night was deep, and we walked endlessly in boundless silence. In the darkness, something was gently wriggling within me, slowly growing. I spread my arms, floating lightly in the air, my mind a blur. I saw the long-lost white horse from my dreams neighing, with endless green grass beneath its feet…

“Monk, we’ve arrived!”
I opened my eyes and found myself in a valley surrounded by mountains, a small river flowing gently beside me.
“Why did you save me?”
“You think I’m saving you, monk? I’m going to eat you! Don’t dream!” she said with a grin.
A demon is a demon. I clasped my hands together, “Amitabha.”

“Monk, do you think I’m beautiful?” she suddenly asked.
My face flushed red. I turned away, pretending not to hear, and murmured: “The supreme, profound, and subtle Dharma, is difficult to encounter even in hundreds of millions of kalpas. Now that I have seen, heard, received, and upheld it,
I vow to understand the true meaning of the Tathagata.”
………
“You’re fooling yourself, monk,” Tao’er giggled. “You’ve been staring at me in the cave—your face was all red.”

Master Xuanku always praised my composure. When I meditated, he would often shout in my ear. My ears would ring, but my body wouldn’t move an inch. He would always pat my head with satisfaction and get up to leave. We played this game for thirty years, until he died. At
that moment, I suddenly thought of Master Xuanku and felt ashamed.

“If you think I’m pretty, that’s fine,” she said softly. “My name is Tao’er, a peach blossom on my sister’s body—I wonder if you’ll remember me?”

(V)
On the day I achieved perfect merit, all the gods and Buddhas gathered at Mount Ling, celestial music filled the air, and heavenly flowers danced in the air. After all was silent, the Buddha asked me, "Who are you? Where do you come from? Where are you going?"
All eyes were fixed on me. I bowed and answered, "I am nameless, I am formless, I am emptiness, I have no origin, nor do I go."
"Then, have you forgotten everything?"
I remained silent, head bowed.
"Why don't you speak?"
I raised my head and shouted at the Buddha, "I never existed, so why should I forget?!" The
Buddha laughed, the gods and Buddhas murmured in praise, and celestial flowers rained down from the sky.
But at that moment, the gates of my memory burst open, and every person, every event, every word, every expression of joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness in my life became so clear and beautiful, violently shaking the deepest recesses of my soul.

A song echoed through the peach grove: "The road to heaven is long, the human world is far, where my gaze falls, the world changes.
For whom do we weep, for whom do we laugh, as time fades youthful beauty?
Which will rise to high office, which will become Buddha or immortal? In the end, we will all turn to dust or wisps of smoke.
Let us go fishing in the afterlife, with a green bamboo pole in hand.
Do not ask where my beloved has gone, for when I turn back, I will see the Peach Blossom Fairy..."
The lingering melody dissipated into the clouds, and I saw Peach Blossom carrying a bamboo basket, walking towards me from afar. She laughed, her long hair fluttering in the morning glow, bathed in sunlight...
Tao'er tapped my bald head and laughed, "Time to eat! Still staring at pretty girls!"
I blushed and lowered my head.

From that moment on, I never hated her again, even though she had damaged my cultivation, even though she had hit me, even though she had almost led me astray. The Buddha said that love, hate, infatuation, and anger are the root of human suffering, but without those loves, those hates, those infatuations, those tearful smiles, how dull life would be.

"Do you know why I saved you?"
"Why?"
"Because only you dare to talk back to me, and you never even look me in the eye." Tao'er pouted.
"Who told you to hit me?" I said with a smile, a wave of sorrow washing over me. I knew I was no longer a monk. The strict rules I had upheld had crumbled, in that bright, sunny morning, in that enchanting smile of the fairy.
"Do you eat meat?"
"No."
"Do you drink alcohol?"
"No."
I sat there, unsure whether to be angry or happy. After a long time, I cried silently.

(VI)

"Why are you going to retrieve the scriptures?"
"To save all sentient beings."
"Your disciple is so capable, can't he go alone?"
I had never thought of this question.
"Your disciple only needs to do one somersault to go to the Western Paradise, but it will take you hundreds of years to walk there," Tao'er exaggeratedly gestured, "By the time you bring the scriptures back, all sentient beings will have died."
I was stunned. Tao'er touched my bald head and sighed, "You almost lost your own life, yet you claim to save all living beings? You're such a foolish monk."
Many years later, I finally understood that the so-called journey to the West to obtain scriptures, the so-called salvation of all beings, were nothing more than a joke played on me by Buddha. Those thousand-year-old memories surfaced one by one, a beautiful face shimmering in the depths of time. I saw her smiling at me, unchanged throughout the millennia. It sent shivers down my spine.

Everything has its cause and effect; suffering comes from attachment, happiness from letting go. For a thousand years, I kept wondering, what kind of karmic connection led to the life-and-death joys and sorrows between me and that demon?
"Shall I eat you?" she suddenly asked me.
“No.”
“Why?”
“I haven’t bathed yet.”
She paused for a moment, then giggled, her pink dress swaying gently like a beautiful rosy cloud. “I wouldn’t bear to eat you, monk, I like you very much.”
Peach was never ashamed to express her feelings; in her world, love and hate, life and death, were all so simple.
“You’re not allowed to go anywhere,” she said to me, standing under a peach tree, “I want to be with you.”
My heart pounded violently. Peach looked at me innocently like a child, a gaze that transcended time and death, causing me to weep bitterly a thousand years later.
My tears fell to earth, and a great flood surged up.

“Do you believe in reincarnation?” I asked from afar as I bathed in the river.
“Believe—!”
She ran quickly to the shore, her face flushed. “Will you see me again in the next life?”
I asked her back, “Will you still hit me?”
She laughed so hard she almost fell over. “No, no, you petty monk!”
I nodded. “Then I will see you. If you still hit me, I will never
speak to you again.” She jumped into the water with a splash, hugging my neck tightly. “You have to keep your word!” she said, tears falling onto my head.

“What does ‘fuck your mother’ mean?” she asked in the darkness, close to my ear.
“It’s like this.” I took her hand and gestured its shape.
“I want it!”
“What?”
She pressed her face tightly against mine. “I want it,” she said softly, her face burning hot.
...
That night, spring rain fell all over the world, countless peach blossoms quietly bloomed, and the branches of time were sprinkled with the sweet dew of life.

"I am so happy,"
"Me too."
I hugged her tightly, my heart filled with boundless joy. This is Nirvana, I murmured to myself, a blissful, death-like Nirvana.

(VII)
Sun Wukong is a poet, I mean his attitude towards life. In essence, he is a romantic and passionate monkey, incredibly gentle to the world, but he looks like a thug. At the moment he became a Buddha, his eyes were filled with tears, and his whole body trembled. The Buddha asked with a smile, "You naughty monkey, why are you crying?"
At that time, all the gods and Buddhas were present, and Wukong suddenly burst into tears, and no one could stop him.
Only I know that was the real Sun Wukong, a weak, insecure monkey, a monkey yearning for love.
Three hundred years ago, he inscribed a poem on my wall: "Those destined to meet may not meet, those without affection should not linger on the verdant hills.
A fall from grace in the mortal realm is a thousand calamities, yet the peach blossoms still do not return."
I know what he meant.
Happiness, yes, happiness that is unattainable.

When the peach tree spirit found us, Peach was combing her hair. She looked at me alluringly, her long hair hanging down. I gently kissed her, carefully tucking a peach blossom behind her ear.
"Am I beautiful?"
"Yes."
We smiled at each other, our hearts filled with boundless sweetness.

A thousand years later, that fleeting smile brings me unbearable pain; the past is like the sharpest sword, piercing my heart again and again.
If possible, I would gladly give my immortal life and countless years to exchange for that tender smile beneath the peach tree, even if only for a fleeting moment, a single second.

The two fairies tumbled and tumbled as they fought, the wind howling, leaves fluttering, drops of blood splattering onto me. I clasped my hands together, trembling as I prayed, a fear I had never felt before washing over me, tormenting my soul.
Suddenly, a deafening roar erupted, and Peach fell like a kite with a broken string, blood splattering, staining the grass beneath her feet.
The peach tree spirit swung her sword, shouting, "You little wretch, today I'll kill you!"
Peach lay there helplessly, like a child, her face covered in blood. She stared at me blankly, her eyes filled with deep emotion. I lunged forward, embracing her tightly, holding her with all my might. The peach tree spirit's sword was right before me, but I wasn't afraid. I was willing to die like this, I thought.

Of course, this was just a game. A pair of eyes had been watching over this land.
At the most critical moment, Buddha and Sun Wukong appeared before me simultaneously.
Buddha beckoned, and the peach tree spirit immediately collapsed, softened, and disintegrated. In the blink of an eye, the beautiful and fierce demon vanished, disappearing like the wind.
I awoke as if from a dream, everything so abrupt and sudden, caught between life and death. I rubbed my eyes and saw the golden Buddha before me, his hands clasped in prayer, smiling kindly. "Excellent, excellent, Tripitaka, congratulations on surviving this tribulation. The Western Paradise is not far; set off as soon as possible."
Peach tightly grasped my hand. "No!" she said weakly but firmly, "I don't want you to go, I don't want you to leave me!"
Her hair was disheveled, her face pale, and two clear tears slid down her beautiful face. The peach blossoms at her temples were stained with blood—it was a fragrant dream.
I gazed at her, my heart surging with emotion. She was no longer the powerful demon, but a girl who needed my tenderness, love, and gentle embrace. An emotion I had never felt before surged within me, burning like a raging fire in my soul.
"Master!" I suddenly knelt down, shouting, "I won't go on the pilgrimage! I don't want to become an immortal or a Buddha, nor do I want eternal life! I want to stay and be an ordinary person!"

Some people only dare to be brave once in their lives, for someone or for true love. Over the years, I have thought countless times of my declaration that day. I know that in that moment, I was closest to happiness.

The Buddha's face darkened, and he roared, "A mere bit of lust has made you lose your mind and soul! Are you still my disciple?!" He swiftly reached out and struck me heavily on the head. "Still no sign of enlightenment?!"
Peach struggled to crawl into my arms, and I held her tightly, refusing to let go. Our eyes met, and we both felt immense relief. The Buddha was
furious. "Unless you eliminate your inner demons, you are a monster!"
I shouted back, "This disciple is willing to be a monster today! Even if it means falling into the sea of suffering and never being able to escape, I will not hesitate!" The Buddha
was enraged, raising his right hand high. "Then you will all perish together!"

Thunder roared, shaking the mountains and reversing the flow of rivers. Suddenly, Peach bravely rushed forward, shielding me.
“Don’t kill him,” she looked at Buddha, “I will surely repay you with a loyal monk!”
She picked up her sword and plunged it into her own chest, blood blooming like the most beautiful peach blossoms on her chest.
“No! Peach, no!” I cried out, grabbing her tightly, my chest feeling as if a thousand swords had pierced it simultaneously, an unbearable pain.
Peach slowly turned around, looking at me with tears
streaming down her face. “Monk, tell me, is there really an afterlife?” Thunder echoed in my empty heart, memories flashed like sparks, and my tears finally broke free, streaming down my face. “Yes! There really is!” I cried.
"Then, will you still want me in the next life?"
I nodded desperately, shouting in the wind and rain, "I want you! I want you!!"
Tao'er used her last bit of strength to throw herself into my arms, the sharp sword piercing her body. She hugged my neck tightly, "Monk, you must keep your word!" she said, the last tear falling onto my head.

(VIII)
"Master!" a voice called from outside.
"Don't make a sound, I'm tired, I want to sleep." I murmured.
I saw myself flying in the sky, the cloud patterns constantly changing, shooting stars falling one after another, a blue planet slowly gliding across my brow. Whose gaze is deep in the white clouds? Making me so sad in the dream of time.
"Master, wake up!" Wukong cried.
I suddenly opened my eyes and saw a monkey weeping bitterly. His eyes were red, and snot and tears made his face a mess.
I patted his hand. "Why are you sad, monkey?"
Wukong rushed over and buried his face in my chest, wailing, "Master, my poor master..."

Where is Tao'er?
There is no Tao'er.
You lied to me!
Master, you are lying to yourself. There is no Tao'er, and there is no peach grove.
Perhaps Wukong is right, but why is that peach blossom on the branch crying so sadly?

If there is no road, stop and rest. If there is no sorrow, smile sincerely. But happiness, if there is no happiness, what do I have to live for?
Wukong suddenly stopped and turned to look at me.
"Are you happy?" I asked softly three thousand years ago.
He smiled. He cried. A crystal tear faded in his innocent smile.

"Master, you've finally woken up."
"I've woken up, and you?"
"I'm still in that dream."
What a long dream it was.

Three thousand years. Snow-capped mountains melted into rivers, seas solidified into rocks, peach blossoms bloomed, and spring returned to the world. The walls of time are inscribed with immortal legends, some of which always stir the heart.
"Shall I eat you?"
"No." "
Why?"
"I haven't taken a bath yet."
She giggled, her pink dress swaying gently, like a beautiful rosy cloud.

"There's something I've always wanted to tell you."
"What do you want to say?" Buddha asked with a smile.
The crimson glow of the western sky gently brushed past my eyes, and I saw that beautiful face smiling lovingly at me from beyond countless ages, beckoning to me repeatedly from the other side of life.
"Fuck your mother," I whispered to Buddha.

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