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Secrets of the Three Kingdoms – Zhang Fei and Diao Chan 

After Lü Bu joined Liu Bei in Xuzhou, he acted as if he were an elder brother at the banquet and also obtained Xiaopei as his base, which aroused Zhang Fei's resentment and desire to get rid of him.
One day, after drinking a few cups of wine, Zhang Fei, feeling intoxicated, picked up his spear and headed towards Xiaopei. The soldiers guarding the city, seeing that it was the Third Master, did not ask any questions, and Zhang Fei went straight to Lü Bu's residence. Upon arriving outside the mansion, Zhang Fei roared, "You little brat Lü Bu, come out and fight your grandfather three hundred rounds!"
After a while, the mansion gate creaked open, and a middle-aged steward came out, replying, "What brings you here, Third Master? My Prime Minister left this morning and hasn't returned yet."
Zhang Fei, who was about to start a fight, heard the steward's words and felt a surge of resentment. He cursed, "What about your Prime Minister?
This city belongs to my Liu family, and this mansion also belongs to my Liu family. Even if your Prime Minister is begging on the way, he still has to see if my Third Master will give him a meal. How dare you, a mere brat, be so insolent to me!" With that, he bound the steward and took him inside the mansion. He slapped the steward several times, leaving him bleeding and in tears, but the steward dared not utter another sound.
Zhang Fei looked around and saw no one. It turned out that the servants, seeing Zhang Fei indiscriminately beating someone, had all scattered and fled. A couple of sensible servants had even rushed out to report to Lü Bu.
Zhang Fei thought, "My elder brother is kind-hearted, but he's taken in that scoundrel Lü. Sooner or later, trouble will surely follow. Today, I'll simply kill Lü Bu's entire family, forcing him to break ties with my brother. Then, my brother will have no choice but to kill Lü Bu."
With his plan decided, he drew his sword and entered the inner hall, but found no one there. It turned out that the women had already been informed by the servants and had gone to hide to save their lives. Zhang Fei deeply hated Lü Bu's family. Suddenly, he heard the sound of rushing water coming from one of the rooms. He kicked the water in and was shocked to see a naked woman squatting in a bathtub, bathing.
The woman had flowing hair, crescent-shaped eyebrows, starry eyes, pearly teeth, a smooth tongue, and dewy lips. Her skin was as white as mutton fat and as white as snow, and her breasts moved as swiftly as a rabbit. Zhang Fei, who had spent his life on the edge of a butcher's block, had never seen such a beautiful and delicate woman.
It turned out this woman was none other than Diao Chan, Lü Bu's concubine, who had come to this side room to bathe and cool off in the heat, and thus hadn't been informed by the servants. Diao Chan was startled by the sound of the door being kicked open, and suddenly saw a burly man with a bristling beard, imposing and imposing. His eyes were as large as cowbells, and his mouth was agape, unable to close for a long time. This man was so comical and bizarre that Diao Chan laughed and scolded, "Where did this scoundrel come from? Roll him out of here!"
Zhang Fei suddenly realized, though he hadn't seen many naked women, he was still a virgin. Having seen plenty of naked sows back then, there was no need to be shy now. He countered, "And who are you? What is your relationship with that brat Lü Bu?"
Diao Chan was furious: "Insolence! Who are you? How dare you address my husband by his name!"
Upon hearing that she was Lü Bu's wife, Zhang Fei was overjoyed. He grabbed Diao Chan's ample breasts and lifted her to the ground, shouting, "I am Zhang Fei of Yan, here to exterminate the entire Lü traitor's family! You are his wife and child, and no matter how beautiful you are, I will chop you into eighteen pieces!" But in his heart, he secretly thought, "Why are these breasts so smooth and easy to handle? It would be better to chop them off here."
Diao Chan's chest was in excruciating pain from being grabbed. She looked down and saw that it was already bruised and covered with faint black handprints. She burst into tears on the spot: "Zhang Yide, you are a renowned general, yet today you only come to bully a weak woman like me."
Zhang Fei was most afraid of women crying. He couldn't bear the long howls when slaughtering pigs, so he developed a skill that could kill with a single blow.
Seeing Diao Chan crying so bitterly, Zhang Fei felt quite guilty and quickly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was using too much force and hurt you. Please stop crying." He then made a move to massage Diao Chan's chest.
Diao Chan quickly stopped him, saying, "You scoundrel, what are you doing here again? If you want to kill, then kill. Don't do things that ruin a person's reputation."
Zhang Fei asked in surprise, "I'm just trying to help you improve your blood circulation. How is that ruining a person's reputation? I massage all my soldiers like this, but no one does it like you." He then ignored Diao Chan's resistance and began kneading and pinching her breasts with his tiger-like paws.
Diao Chan knew that Zhang Fei was not only a scoundrel but also a complete fool. Seeing that she couldn't reason with him or resist, she simply let him massage her.
As he massaged, the pain gradually subsided, and another strange sensation slowly seeped into her nipples, gradually spreading throughout her body, as if she were experiencing a stirring of spring. Zhang Fei channeled his energy into his palms, kneading and rubbing Diao Chan's nipples repeatedly. Those small, delicate nipples were incredibly sensitive, and soon they stood erect. A tingling sensation traveled from Diao Chan's nipples to her forehead, then flowed down to her toes, finally causing her to let out a soft moan.
After a short while, the bruises disappeared, but Zhang Fei continued his caresses, thinking, "Damn, these are much better to touch than a piglet's breasts." Stealing a glance at Diao Chan, whose eyes were closed, brows slightly furrowed, and cheeks rosy and adorable, he couldn't resist lowering his head and kissing her lips.
Diao Chan opened her pretty eyes slightly and said reproachfully, "What, is my mouth bruised too? You're massaging here again."
Zhang Fei chuckled sheepishly, "Sorry, I don't know why, I just felt you were like a fairy, your mouth is so cute and I couldn't help but want to taste it."
Diao Chan chuckled, "You seem to have seen a fairy before, do I... really look like a fairy?"
At this moment, Zhang Fei held Diao Chan horizontally on his lap, massaging her chest with his left hand and rubbing her thigh with his right, saying, "Hehe, I've never seen a living fairy, but I've seen portraits. To be honest, you're a hundred times more beautiful than the fairies in those paintings."
Diao Chan's breathing became heavier, knowing that although Zhang Fei was a bit silly, he was speaking the truth, and she couldn't help but feel happy. Thinking back to Lü Bu, Dong Zhuo, and even his adoptive father Wang Yun and the learned Li Ru, although they all admired his beauty, none of them truly praised him sincerely. Their words were sweet, but their hearts were daggers; they only wanted to turn him into their plaything.
Zhang Fei, on the other hand, was getting excited about touching him. He touched his thighs and then his calves, thinking, "How can this leg meat be so smooth and soft? If I braised it, wouldn't it melt in my mouth? But I can't bear to actually braise it." As he touched, he even pinched and kneaded the soles and toes of his feet several times, but finally stopped at his thighs, pinching and kneading the soft and wonderfully fine leg meat.
Diao Chan's limbs were being relentlessly conquered by Zhang Fei, inch by inch, leaving her tingling and utterly captivated. Her arms involuntarily wrapped around Zhang Fei's neck and shoulders, her eyes gleaming with seductive allure, her breath sweet as orchids, as she asked in a voice so soft it
was almost inaudible, "Good brother, are you really dazed or just pretending? How can you make me feel so good?" Zhang Fei, completely bewildered, didn't hear her clearly, only seeing Diao Chan's trembling lips, which
drew him in with an inexplicable attraction. "Can I kiss you again?" Zhang Fei whispered back. Diao Chan hummed in response, a soft, alluring sound that completely captivated Zhang Fei. He could no longer resist, and with a soft "smack," their lips met in a passionate kiss. Diao Chan skillfully slipped her tongue into Zhang Fei's mouth, guiding their tongues to intertwine, rubbing and caressing each other, licking and sucking. Diao Chan then deliberately fed Zhang Fei a drop of saliva, which he savored before reluctantly swallowing it. That single drop of saliva was worth more than a century-old vintage wine from Peach Garden. And that kiss, like vines climbing a tree, like whips intertwining, continued until the heavens and earth seemed to tremble. Even when his elder brothers tried to pull him away, they were already...entangled.
Meanwhile, Zhang Fei and Diao Chan were locked in a passionate kiss, one side soft and smooth, the tongue skillful and deft; the other, experiencing the joy of first love, every sip a fresh and exciting sensation. Even the experienced Diao Chan couldn't help but feel her lips go numb and her tongue ache , forcing them to part.
"You kissed me so hard, my lips are sore," Diao Chan said, a half-smile playing on her lips as she examined an interesting antique.
"How about I give you a massage to improve your blood circulation so it won't be sore anymore?" She then focused her energy on her lips, preparing to kiss him again. But Diao Chan pushed him away, laughing and scolding, "Enough! Who kisses like that? You'd turn a living person into a dead one. I think only your old man Guan could kiss you like that, going through eight hundred rounds without getting tired."
"That's true," Zhang Fei thought, picturing a kissing contest between his second brother and his own lips. "Second brother's martial arts are always evenly matched with mine. I wonder who's better at kissing." Suddenly, he shuddered and uttered, "How disgusting!"
Diao Chan was both amused and exasperated, her jade-like hand gently stroking the burly man's stone-carved face. Suddenly, her face flushed, and her hands deftly removed Zhang Fei's armor, revealing his dark, muscular, smooth chest.
"How... how come there's no hair?" Diao Chan stared incredulously at the chest muscles before her.
"How come... who said pig butchers have to have hair? Bald, don't you like it?"
"No..." Diao Chan didn't want to recall it, yet the image kept replaying in her mind...
a disgusting man with a fat, greasy belly, disgusting eyes, disgusting laughter, especially those clumps of disgusting chest hair...
"Hold me tight."
Zhang Fei was bewildered, but still obediently hugged the delicate body before him, unaware that Diao Chan, upon seeing his hairless chest, shed a tear of joy.
"I love you..."
"What did you say?"
"I... love... already... cough... cough..." Diao Chan's vision went black, and in her dazed state, she struggled desperately, finally breaking free from Zhang Fei's bear hug.
"Cough cough... I'm going to die! Holding that big guy like that, my bones are about to fall apart!" Zhang Fei said
apologetically, his voice gentle. "I'm so sorry, you wanted me to hold you tight, so I did. I was afraid you couldn't handle it, so I only used 20% of my strength."
Diao Chan sighed helplessly, "You're such a troublemaker."
"When you hold a woman, you should be as gentle as holding a piglet; like holding a precious jade, gently lift her up and gently put her down."
Zhang Fei didn't say anything more and quickly wrapped his arms around Diao Chan. After a long while, he said, "Like this?" "
Yes, like this, but when you're holding her, your hands shouldn't be scratching and grabbing her buttocks..." "
Oh, it's warm and comfortable to hold you like this, but your buttocks are also soft and nice to touch. Why don't I feel this way when I hold a piglet?"
Diao Chan ignored Zhang Fei's nonsense and was immersed in the warm embrace of this burly man. Even the hands that were darting around behind her buttocks felt like rays of warm sunshine, making her heart flutter. At this moment, Diao Chan was already confused and infatuated, unable to extricate herself.
After about half an incense stick's time, Zhang Fei had explored every inch of her body, yet he was still unsatisfied. Diao Chan knew that if she didn't use her trump card, this fool would keep exploring for who knows how long. So, with a swift movement of her jade-like hand, she unfastened Zhang Fei's trousers. The trousers fell down, revealing a gleaming, erect eight-inch spear, its snake-like eyes gleaming as it surveyed the world—a perfectly formed phimosis.
Diao Chan exclaimed, "What a lovely phimosis!" She couldn't help but spit out a taste, savoring the unique flavor of the man's body odor and the fresh, fishy taste of his semen. Diao Chan smacked her lips, a satisfied and shy expression on her face.
"Good brother, let me teach you one last thing,"
Zhang Fei said curtly. "No need," he replied, "you don't even understand matters of procreation; wouldn't you be laughed at by the world?"
"I'm the one who breeds the male pigs; you're no match for me in that regard." With that, he swept Diao Chan's slender white body up in his arms and gently placed her on the bed.
Zhang Fei spread his arms horizontally, lifting Diao Chan's long, slender legs. Leaning forward, he cupped her jade-like breasts in his hands, playfully pinching them twice. His snake-like eyes fixed on Diao Chan's mysterious, tender, pink orifice, and decisively thrust forward, penetrating to the very bottom.
"Ah..."
Sure enough, a howl rang out. Diao Chan cried out in pain, "You didn't even say anything before you came in! Your thing is so big, so thick, how can I bear it?"
She glared angrily at Zhang Fei, who also shed two lines of clear tears, his face contorted in agony, as if in immense pain. It turned out that the scream had come from Zhang Fei. Nearly thirty years old, Zhang Fei was still a virgin, with a full-blown phimosis, his dragon root having been protected for over twenty years. With that sudden thrust, the dragon's head broke through the neck and plunged in, tearing the foreskin open, and a fountain of blood spurted out, splashing onto the clean white sheets. Zhang Fei gritted his teeth and endured the pain. As the agony subsided, he looked at Diao Chan with infinite shyness.
"Does it still hurt?" Diao Chan comforted him.
"It still hurts a little, but it feels a little good too," Zhang Fei whispered.
"Good brother, now that we're lovers for a brief encounter, will you still kill me?"
Zhang Fei suddenly realized: he had come here specifically to exterminate the entire Lü clan. If he let them go now, his elder brother might be betrayed by that Lü clan, which would harm his brother and violate their oath of brotherhood.
Thinking of this, a cold sweat broke out on his back. He steeled himself and was about to pull out his penis and immediately kill the vixen before him.
Unexpectedly, as soon as he pulled his penis halfway out, a tingling sensation ran through his head, as if hundreds of tiny insects were crawling and biting inside. This strange, pleasurable feeling was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Looking down at Diao Chan, the lovely woman about to die seemed to be experiencing the same pleasure, her whole body trembling uncontrollably.
"Good brother, I...love...you."
Upon hearing this, Zhang Fei's body trembled, and he couldn't help but howl to the sky, "Chan, I love you too, but I can't betray my elder brother..."
A mixture of extreme emotions, pain and pleasure, overwhelmed him. Zhang Fei, utterly despondent, murmured like a walking corpse,
"I can only betray my elder brother, betray you. Betray my elder brother, betray you. Betray my elder brother, betray you. Betray my elder brother, betray you..."
(This is a tribute to a famous joke.)
As his guilt deepened, Zhang Fei's eight-inch spear thrust in and out more frequently. During this time, Diao Chan experienced countless orgasms, but the pleasure within her continued to surge, pushing each climax to an even more pleasurable peak. Ignoring her breasts, deformed by Zhang Fei's kneading, she screamed and flailed wildly, plucking several of Zhang Fei's iron whiskers with both hands, seemingly trying to grasp something tightly.
Finally, after silently reciting the repentance a thousand times, Zhang Fei's mind cleared, a divine inspiration struck. "Tonight we drink, tonight we get drunk; tomorrow the thieves come, tomorrow we kill them; now, let us rejoice in losing our virginity, sharing the ecstatic climax." Having finished the verse, Zhang Fei roared and poured all his thirty years of virgin semen into Diao Chan's body.
The scalding semen sprayed onto her vaginal walls, making her slender body tremble. Diao Chan cried out softly, her body suddenly stiffening, her vaginal fluids gushing out like a torrent. She had no strength left, gazing tenderly at this god-like man.
"Was it good?"
"Mmm."
"Will you still kill me?"
"No." The man smiled smugly.
"You've stayed long enough today, go back… and forget I ever existed." "
But I will remember you for the rest of my life," Diao Chan thought to herself.
"Fine, the next time we meet will be the day I take your life." Zhang Fei straightened his clothes and armor, and left without looking back.
"Hey!"
Diao Chan cried anxiously, "How can you walk while carrying me like this?"
Finally, Zhang Fei reluctantly put Diao Chan down and strode away...
After returning to his mansion, Lü Bu heard about Zhang Fei's unreasonable outburst, which deepened the enmity between the two families. From then on, the plan to seize Xuzhou was planted.
One day, Lü Bu went out of the city to purchase military horses and weapons in preparation for the capture of the city. The middle-aged steward was shouting orders to his servants to hurry up and down in front of his mansion when he saw a dark-skinned man riding towards him with a spear in his hand. His heart sank: "Why is this Third Master Zhang here to harass his master again? And the master isn't home." Thinking this, his face burned with a faint pain, and he hurriedly told his servants to scatter and hide.

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