Stop laughing

She was a girl who loved to laugh;
I'd never seen her cry.
She could smile shyly, laugh heartily, and
I fell in love with her smile the moment we met .
I loved every kind of smile;
I loved her seemingly carefree and untroubled nature,
like a sunflower always facing the sun.
After holding hands and going on dates, we quickly progressed to bed.
In her neat, simple apartment with a subtle fragrance,
I took off her floral dress, which she seemed to adore
. The fullness beneath the pure white lace made me swallow hard.
Her flushed face resembled her favorite apple, and
I kissed her smooth forehead.
Her long eyelashes drooped, and
she pursed her lips as if making a momentous decision.
Having been given permission, I didn't dare be too careless.
I kissed her as gently as possible,
and her small lips responded clumsily.
I went around behind her and unhooked her bra.
Her flushed, fair body was as delicate as a blooming cherry blossom.
I gently kissed her breasts,
and her soft moans reassured me.
I began to teasingly lick her pink nipples.
When she unconsciously twisted her lower body slightly,
I slipped my hand inside her lace panties.
The sparse pubic hair made it easy for me to find her mysterious slit.
I deliberately held my fingers up to her face,
letting her see how her sensitivity had made them glistening,
then licked them clean.
She gasped, her face flushed. I smiled and kissed her,
my fingers continuing to tease her vulva.
Then I removed her panties,
revealing her most tender parts to me.
I couldn't help but exclaim, "So beautiful!"
She squeezed her legs together shyly, letting out a soft moan.
I gently pried them open and
forcefully licked them.
Her moans became excited and intense.
I loved her reaction.
After sufficient foreplay,
I cautiously pressed my desire against her entrance and
leaned down to kiss her.
"Is it really okay? Will it hurt?"
"Yes, it's okay!" She gave me a reassuring smile.
I gently pushed in;
she was so small it was almost painful to continue.
I didn't want to hurt her,
but her legs clamped around me, signaling for me to enter. With a
determined heart, I thrust forward.
She screamed in pain and then clung tightly to me.
I kissed her guiltily, trying to distract myself from the pain.
Only when she gave me a weak smile and nodded
did I begin to move slowly and rhythmically.
Her furrowed brows gradually relaxed,
and her moans became more passionate.
I increased my speed, thrusting and kneading her tender clitoris.
She clamped around me, her moans almost screaming.
At the moment I ejaculated, she went limp.
I held her without pulling away,
feeling her internal contractions.
I kissed her passionately,
too moved to speak.
Later, I remembered that she hadn't even made her cry the first time.
Her painful screams and groans still echo in my mind,
but she just smiled faintly.
She said,
"It's so wonderful to do this with someone you like!"
I wasn't really sure what the light in her eyes meant then.
Even when we argued, she could still laugh.
It seemed like I was being capricious and throwing a tantrum;
I couldn't help but yell at her and even said some harsh words.
She just stood there, her eyes drooping,
her pale pink lips still slightly upturned.
After regaining my composure, I immediately apologized to her.
"Yu'ang is just that kind of person, I don't mind." She smiled at me with narrowed eyes,
her eyes shining.
I nodded with some remorse and shame,
then hugged her tightly.
Later, I felt something was wrong,
and even started to feel a little annoyed.
She really was smiling all the time,
even when she should have been sad,
she could still show a worrying smile.
Accompanying her through the pet's funeral,
she looked sad,
her round eyes drooping yet sparkling,
her lips still pursed into a thin line.
From beginning to end,
I didn't see her shed a single tear. I was somewhat afraid
of her . To avoid seeing that unsettling smile, I started making excuses to reduce our meetings. It was around that time that I met a seemingly normal girl— or rather, a girl who loved to cry and laugh. When she cried uncontrollably, I felt much better. When she noticed, she didn't show much emotion. She asked me what I liked about her, and I hesitated before answering, "You don't have tears, do you?" I watched her eyes begin to well up, her lips curving slightly upwards, but this time, she lost her elegant smile. In that instant, I saw the first tear I'd ever shed in all this time we'd been together. I thought she would never cry. I was shocked to recall every glimmer of light in her eyes, and I finally understood what it meant. She had actually been crying the whole time, just not in front of me. I rushed forward and hugged her tightly, my heart breaking with a complex mix of emotions. She just kept crying, then pushed me away. "Because you said you loved seeing my smile, so I didn't dare cry."

"Actually, I cry a lot.
I often cry when you can't see me,"
she said, her eyes still closed .
"I really wanted to hear you say,
'Cry in my arms.'
Then I would cry without hesitation in front of you,
but you didn't."
"This is the last time I'll smile for you,
but it's not the first time I'll cry for you."
She raised her head,
and I saw the saddest smile I'd ever seen in my life,
and then I lost her completely.
I always treated her like a sunflower,
thinking I was her sun,
but I ignored the tears behind her.
She tried so hard to bloom for me,
but I missed her prime.
In the end, I only had her most beautiful withering.
Later,
when I missed her, I tried to smile,
only to realize that holding back tears is sadder than sadness itself.
So when you want to cry,
don't smile.

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