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Yang Family Generals 

In the bloody battle of Jiulong Valley, the Liao army of hundreds of thousands was routed, suffering heavy casualties. The people of Yanjing were filled with fear and resentment. However, Empress Dowager Xiao was relentless. She was determined to ride her horse in Kaifeng and display her power at Jiulong Court, disregarding the lives of the common people. Despite the ministers' attempts to dissuade her, she still ordered an invasion of the Central Plains.
In the warm spring of March, while peach blossoms were already ablaze with color and pear blossoms a blanket of white, a chill still lingered in Yanjing. That morning, the court was quiet, with only four ministers chatting idly with worried expressions. Prime Minister Hami said, "Gentlemen, some of you know this, don't you?" The ministers, not knowing what he meant, asked in unison, "Know what?" Hami coughed and said, "It's the Empress Dowager's decree! Didn't she instruct the civil and military officials to raise an army and march south to seize Hongzhou?" The ministers nodded their heads repeatedly like chickens pecking at rice, saying, "Yes, yes, that's true." "What are your opinions on this matter?" Yelü Fan hesitated twice, then said with a mournful face, "Ever since the Battle of Jinshatan, when the Fifth Prince died under Yang Yanping's arrow, the Empress Dowager ascended the throne. She listened to everyone but Xiao Tianzuo. That Xiao Tianzuo is just a brave man; he knows nothing of strategy. As a result, the Tianmen Formation was completely routed by the Yang family generals. This Grand Marshal was also thoroughly defeated."
"But the Empress Dowager, needless to say, she insists on waging war. Isn't that like throwing an egg against a rock, just asking for trouble? In my opinion, the old prime minister should advise against it!" "Ahem!" Hamish let out a long sigh and said, "It's not that I don't want to advise her; I've submitted several memorials, but the Empress Dowager just won't listen. What can I do?" Ali Jing chimed in from the side, saying, "The Empress Dowager insists on raising an army. I wonder who will lead the troops?" Hamish showed a disdainful look and said contemptuously, "Bai Tianzu and his wife." "Bai Tianzu?" Mahada sneered twice and said, "That just proves the old saying from the Song Dynasty: 'A meat bun thrown to a dog, never to return!' And that Lady Bai, Hu Jiaming, we mustn't let that beautiful woman get dragged into this and get killed, ending up with both a wife and an army lost." The ministers all agreed. Why? Because Bai Tianzu had been to the Central Plains before. When Xiao Tianzuo set up the Heavenly Gate Formation, he was guarding one of the formations. Before he could even engage anyone, his own defeated troops inexplicably broke through the formation. Surrounded by hordes of barbarian soldiers, he had no choice but to flee, and in his dazed state, he retreated back to the North. Because he had never truly fought the Yang family generals, he harbored resentment and always wanted to test his skills against them. His beautiful wife, Hu Jiamei, hadn't gone with him that time, but later she constantly begged and pleaded with Bai Tianzu to lead a southern expedition. Only then did Bai Tianzu, along with a bunch of dim-witted fools, plead with Empress Dowager Xiao. They finally obtained an imperial decree allowing him and his wife to lead the southern expedition. Bai Tianzu always thought he was quite capable. But the seasoned ministers knew he was no match for the Yang family generals, and they had already underestimated him. But let's leave that aside for now.
Meanwhile, Hami and his senior ministers were hoping the Empress Dowager would hold the morning court session and try to dissuade them again. Whether the Empress Dowager had anticipated their move or for some other reason, she simply sent a lowly servant to stand at the entrance of the main gate and loudly announce, "The Empress Dowager issues a decree! There will be no morning court session today. All petitions from civil and military officials will be discussed tomorrow!" Hearing this, the ministers felt as if they were eating ice cream on a sunny day, a chill seeping from their stomachs.
Hami said, "Fine, no one can persuade them anymore. Just wait to collect the corpses of Bai Tianzu and his wife! Bai Tianzu brought it upon himself, so his death is not a pity. It's just a pity about his wife, Hu Jiaming, so young and beautiful; I'm afraid she won't come back either. Alas!" The ministers returned to their offices listlessly, and before they knew it, the sun had set and the moon had risen, the stars had disappeared and the sun had risen again—another day had passed.
On
this day, the four gates of Yanjing (Beijing) opened wide, and ranks of valiant soldiers marched out, their banners blotting out the sun and their swords gleaming. Under the central commander's banner rode two warhorses, one black and one white, skilled in both mountain climbing and river traversing.
On the black horse sat a foreign general with a face as dark as the bottom of a pot, bulging eyes, and a thick, bushy beard; he appeared to be a valiant warrior. This man was Bai Tianzu, the commander of the southern expedition. Beside him on the white steed sat a female general. Despite being a foreign woman, she was exceptionally beautiful and talented; she was Bai Tianzu's wife. Lady Bai was not only skilled in horsemanship but also deeply knowledgeable in military strategy. Bai Tianzu dared to lead the army because of his wife's support! The couple, Bai
Tianzu and his wife, led 100,000 soldiers and 100 generals, their killing intent palpable, heading straight for Hongzhou.
After breakfast that day, Bai Tianzu ascended the main tent. After three counts, a hundred generals lined up on both sides. Bai Tianzu asked, "To capture the Song Dynasty, Hongzhou is the first key location. I wonder which general is willing to lead the charge?" Before he finished speaking, the leader of the right wing shouted, "This humble general is willing to go! It's been a long time since I've captured a general on horseback, and my hands are itching. Watch me personally take the lead, and I'll surely capture Hongzhou City with ease." This voice was as melodious as a nightingale's song; it turned out to be a female general. This female general wore an exquisite seven-star crown with two pheasant feathers at the back, and a snow-white floral battle skirt over a chainmail. Although this female general grew up in the north, the wind and sand left no trace on her. Her face was like a full moon, her eyes like clear springs, her eyebrows jet black, her lips small and delicate—a face of exquisite beauty, her eyes brimming with charm. She looked like a formidable woman, capable of outshining even the most fiery and shrewish. This female general was none other than Hu Jia Mei, wife of Bai Tianzu, the great general of the Liao Kingdom. Despite being a woman from a foreign land, she was nonetheless stunningly beautiful and exceptionally talented. It must be said, Bai Tianzu had a face ashen like the bottom of a pot, bulging eyes, and a thick, bushy beard; while his wife, Hu Jia Mei, was beautiful, slender, and as lovely as a flower, her fame spreading far and wide. The Liao court and the common people jokingly referred to this couple as the "Black and White Couple" and "Beauty and the Beast." Both the Song and Liao armies knew that Hu Jiamei was far more than just beautiful and alluring. She was ambitious, ruthless, and possessed striking beauty and captivating charm, earning her the title of "Liao's Number One Beauty." She was not only skilled in horsemanship and bedroom arts, but also deeply knowledgeable in military strategy and tactics. Bai Tianzu not only doted on his wife, showering her with affection in bed, but he also relied entirely on her support when leading his troops!
Bai Tianzu was overjoyed to see his wife leading the charge. He knew her martial arts far surpassed his own, but still instructed her, "My lady, the first battle is crucial; do not dampen our army's morale!" Bai Jiamei raised an eyebrow with captivating charm, gave Bai Tianzu a sweet wink, and replied, "My lord, I understand," before gracefully stepping out of the tent, her skirt swaying, her hand on her sword. A maidservant had already led over a battle-hardened warhorse. Madam Bai twisted her waist and shouted, "Form ranks! They shall all follow my jade-like rear!" Wearing a white floral-patterned battle skirt, she thrust her hips forward, mounted her horse, and mustered five hundred Liao soldiers. Behind her round, plump rear, they spread out like a flock of geese and charged straight towards Hongzhou City, capturing it. Thus, Madam Bai's ten slender fingers and one jade-like rear were once again stained with the blood of Song soldiers. The Song soldiers who had come from afar to reinforce Hongzhou gritted their teeth in hatred, eager to kick her buttocks, and even more eager to capture this vixen, press down on her waist, and behead her while she bent over with her white skirt and rear exposed. The Song army set up camp twenty miles from the city, ready for battle.
That day, Yang Zongbao led several dozen cavalrymen on patrol. Just as they approached Hongzhou, they heard the sound of drums beating from within the city. Hearing the drumbeats, Yang Zongbao knew the Liao army was about to leave the city. He brandished his spear, and dozens of cavalrymen lined up, waiting for the city's troops to emerge. A short while later, a "clatter" sounded as the drawbridge slid down, lowering it slowly onto the moat. The city gates swung open, and a white horse galloped across the drawbridge. Seated a female general, she wielded twin swords, followed closely by a troop of about five or six hundred cavalry. Yang Zongbao, on patrol duty, saw enemy troops leaving the city and thought that defeating the enemy general would bring him glory. He also noticed the female general was a beautiful woman in a flowing white dress, and wondered who she was and how to approach her. The horse clattered, and the woman was right in front of him. Yang Zongbao, no longer indulging in fantasies, reined in his horse, kicked off, and rode towards the woman in white. The Liao general leading the army was none other than Lady Bai. Today, while she was patrolling the city, a scout reported that the Song Dynasty had sent reinforcements. Just then, a small group of men appeared outside the city. Hu Jiaming, naturally flirtatious and adventurous, led her troops out of the city, hoping to capture a few Song soldiers to ascertain their strength. When Lady Bai saw a Song general approaching, she brandished her twin swords, and with five hundred soldiers behind her spreading out like geese, she spurred her horse forward to meet him.
As the two warhorses approached, Lady Bai's almond-shaped eyes widened. Taking a closer look at the approaching general, her heart pounded like a deer's. Ladies and gentlemen, this Hu Jia Mei, though married to Bai Tianzu long ago, still had a swarm of admirers constantly chasing after her, making attracting attention a daily routine. Even though Lady Bai was a seasoned veteran of the pleasure quarters, she couldn't help but feel a surge of desire, her body burning with heat, and her rear end itching: "Oh my, where in the North have I ever seen such a person! Look at this young general, with his fair complexion, dark eyebrows, and bright, sparkling eyes, his face like jade, his lips like painted vermilion, resembling Song Yu, as handsome as Pan An, full of heroic spirit, exuding an imposing aura—truly a man of exceptional talent!" Sitting in the lap of such a man with her fair, delicate bottom, she felt truly content, unlike serving that old bastard Bai Tianzu—every time he stroked her tender, white bottom with his rough, withered hands, she got goosebumps. His filthy hands especially loved to dig into her buttocks, and his stinky mouth loved to nibble at them. Just thinking about it made her nauseous. It was such a waste of her fair, delicate, and beautiful bottom! Madam Bai had fallen deeply in love with Yang Zongbao. Such a handsome man was nothing like Bai Tianzu, who was dark-skinned, had a beard like grass, and was utterly repulsive. If she could capture this young general, bring him into her camp, and sleep with him for a night, enjoying worldly pleasures, it would fulfill her desires and make her life as a woman worthwhile.
The more she looked, the happier she became. Her body went weak, and she felt a wetness between her legs. She thought that being with such a man would make her life worthwhile, even if it meant dying for him and losing her beautiful white buttocks. Little did she know that her words would come true. That very day, she got what she wanted—"The goddess was willing, but the king was heartless." Only a few hours after meeting Yang Zongbao, before she could even sit on his lap, Madam Bai sat on the back of death. She didn't even live to see the day she died, losing both her buttocks and her life to Yang Zongbao. She lost her buttocks, her life, and her image. Her flirtatiousness was thwarted, and she became the subject of gossip. But that's a story for later. Right now, this "heartthrob"—the stunning beauty Hu Jiamei—is alive and well. Look at her, her red lips slightly parted, her eyes alluring, as she asks with a smile, "Young general from the Southern Dynasty, may I ask you, what is your name?" Yang Zongbao scrutinizes the female general before him. He sees that she has red lips and white teeth, a beautiful face, and is as beautiful as a flower. As the poem says: "Moon-shaped eyebrows and starry eyes, cherry lips and peach cheeks, willow waist and bamboo-like hands, a graceful figure, truly a face that could make fish sink and geese fall from the sky, a face that could shame the moon and flowers." Zongbao's heart nearly stopped for a few seconds. Seeing her looking him up and down with envious eyes, he felt uneasy. Then, seeing her ask him with a cheeky grin, he said irritably, "I am Yang Zongbao! Haven't you heard my name before?" "Oh, why are you so angry?" Madam Bai said, feeling a slight bloating in her stomach. She smiled slightly and shifted her buttocks, clad in a white floral dress, back slightly while sitting on the saddle. A sharp "pop" sounded from beneath Madam Bai's buttocks, followed by a dizzying, pungent fragrance—an unpleasant odor was expelled from her rear end. Hu Jiamei blushed slightly—though she lived in a foreign land, she knew that farting was impolite. So, she elegantly extended her left hand, her five delicate fingers gracefully fanning her buttocks, a gesture that only served to conceal the odor. Yang Zongbao inwardly groaned, thinking to himself, "Such a beautiful, charming, and alluring female general—no one wants her to fart, but that's an undeniable fact." This pretty young lady not only farted, but she openly let out a fragrant fart right in front of both armies, right in front of him! Feeling a little better after farting, Madam Bai leaned forward, unperturbed and still smiling, and asked, "So you're the famous Yang Zongbao! Indeed, your reputation is well-deserved. I am the wife of Bai Tianzu, the Grand Marshal of Liao. My surname is Hu, and my given name is Jia Mei. You can call me Miss Hu, or Miss Jia Mei, I prefer that too. It's truly an honor to meet you today! May I ask you, how old are you? Are you married? And look at me, and isn't my white dress beautiful?" Yang Zongbao saw Madam Bai, Hu Jia Mei, a charming and alluring young woman, delicate and lovely, though already married... Despite being a married woman, she still possessed fair skin and a beautiful face, retaining her charm and a fullness and allure that a young girl lacked. Although older than her, she still acted coquettishly like a girl, even though she had married Bai Tianzu long ago and had numerous scandals and affairs, yet she still referred to herself as "this young lady" at every turn. Her behavior was also frivolous; not only did she fart in front of the horse, but her sitting posture was also extremely ungraceful. Her two jade legs were spread wide apart, and her round and full buttocks made her white dress bulge. It was originally quite beautiful and pleasing to the eye, but she flirtatiously stuck her buttocks out high, and she kept twisting and turning restlessly on the saddle, as if afraid that the man would not look, and she smiled seductively like a maid, intentionally teasing him with her words. He was furious. Brandishing his gun, he shouted, "So you're Madam Bai, Hu Jiaming? Miss Jiaming, listen to your nonsense! Doesn't it sound like a local accent?
I'm not here for fortune telling, why are you asking my age and looking at my gun?" With that, he swung his gun, aiming for Madam Bai. Hearing Yang Zongbao accuse her of talking nonsense on the battlefield, Madam Bai felt somewhat embarrassed, her face flushing red. Seeing Yang Zongbao's gun coming, she calmly used her twin swords, the Sun and Moon Blades, to block his spear. She still smiled and said, "Oh, everyone has to go to the bathroom, it's a physiological phenomenon, and my butt is no exception. My butt gets sore from sitting for so long, and since no one's there to rub it, of course I have to fart.
I see you men are always interested in my butt, hehe. Let's not talk about that anymore. Don't be stubborn, I'm asking you, are you married? Also, you haven't answered me yet, and I... isn't my white dress beautiful?" Zongbao cursed "bitch" inwardly, pulled the gun back with his arms, and then thrust it again, saying as he thrust, "I'm from the Yang family, not the Cheng family!" Madam Bai deflected the gun with her single-edged sword. Then she asked, "I'm asking if you have a wife." Yang Zongbao handed her the gun while saying, "I don't even have a son, where would I get a wife! Miss, your skirt and your buttocks are very beautiful, but no matter how beautiful your buttocks are, don't fart! This is not an execution platform, not a place for your pretty and charming Miss Jia Mei to fart! Miss Jia Mei, you should have some self-respect and wait until you're sitting on the execution platform before you fart!" Madam Bai had always been proud of her beautiful face and alluring buttocks. Seeing that Zongbao was deliberately teasing her and kept saying that she should sit on the execution platform and curse her to be captured and tortured, she couldn't help but widen her eyes, revealing a cold light. Look at her, her face darkened, her hips swayed, and she brandished her twin swords, shouting fiercely, "I was just trying to be nice to you, and you not only lack understanding of romance, but you're also so rude, using a physiological phenomenon to humiliate me! I, Hu Jiamei, have seen countless men in my life, what haven't I seen? Does my butt mean I can't fart? Does my butt belong to your control? Have you ever heard that my butt can kill? Do you know that my butt is a national treasure of the Liao Dynasty, worshipped by all? How many stinking men chase after my butt like flies, wanting to kiss my beauty, but I don't even look at them! You dare to humiliate my butt, do you know the consequences? I'll make you my butt pad! Are you afraid of disgracing my butt? You'll have to ask my butt if it agrees! Humph, let me tell you, I'm angry, and the consequences are severe! If you want to live, quickly apologize to my butt! Let me show you what I'm capable of!" With that, she swiftly thrust in with three swords. Seeing that she was enraged and unleashing her fury, spewing vulgarities, and that this beautiful young woman was using such crude language as "buttocks," repeating "this young lady's buttocks" ten times without any shame, Zongbao sighed inwardly: "Look at you, Madam Bai, with your stunning beauty and captivating charm, you've become a heartthrob with just your face and your buttocks. But you're still a foreign woman, ignorant of Chinese etiquette, your behavior is frivolous, and your speech is inelegant. Such a woman is fine for flirting and chatting, but how can we really rely on her?"
Zongbao then sheathed his spear, adopted a defensive stance, blocked the sword, and engaged Madam Bai in battle.
Mu Guiying, pregnant and fatigued from continuous marching, was resting in her tent, pondering a strategy to defeat the enemy, when a report came from the central army that the young general had engaged the enemy general, a delicate and charming beautiful woman. Upon hearing this, Mu Guiying was secretly startled, thinking that it was most likely Lady Bai, Hu Jiaming. She had long heard that the great beauty was ambitious and ruthless. Guiying hurriedly ordered Meng Liang and Jiao Zan to take five hundred men to provide support. After the two generals left, Guiying, without taking a break, ordered the central army to raise its tent, muster all the generals, and send out scouts to prepare for any eventuality.
Meanwhile, as Madam Bai fought Zongbao, she secretly thought: "Why don't I capture this handsome young man, win him over, marry him, and then find a way to get rid of Bai Tianzu? Wouldn't that be wonderful!" Madam Bai was lost in thought when Zongbao suddenly thrust his spear at her chest. Startled, Madam Bai twisted her waist, and the spear grazed her sash. The force of the thrust nearly made her wet herself. Madam Bai felt the saddle beneath her was dirty and sticky against her skirt. Reaching down to touch her skirt, she realized her buttocks were covered in a sticky, thick sweat, like the discomfort of menstruation, and she couldn't tell if it was sweat or urine. Madam Bai exclaimed coquettishly, "How annoying!" She quickly regained her composure and focused on dealing with the handsome young man before her. Just then, dust billowed from the direction of the Song camp, and a troop of men galloped towards them. Seeing the Song reinforcements arrive, Lady Bai, ready to execute her plan, feigned panic, shouting "Don't chase! Don't chase!" She then winked seductively, turned her horse, and fled northwest. Eager for merit, Yang Zongbao spurred his horse into pursuit. Behind him, Generals Jiao and Meng, worried about the situation, also gave chase.
As she ran, Lady Bai glanced back, delighted to see Zongbao indeed following. She transferred her sword from her right hand to her left, secretly taking out a copper hammer. Seeing Zongbao close behind, she turned and swung the hammer straight at his left shoulder.
Zongbao, careless, assumed the female general was weak, unaware of her hidden weapon! It was too late to dodge; he cried out and tumbled off his saddle. Actually, Lady Bai hadn't meant to strike him; she had only used a fraction of her strength, otherwise, his arm would have been ruined. Seeing Zongbao fall from his horse, Lady Bai was overjoyed and felt a surge of heat throughout her body. She twisted her hips, ready to dismount and capture him, when suddenly a burly man in red and a burly man in black appeared, shouting, "You wicked woman, don't be so fierce!" Seeing their menacing appearance and knowing her good deed would be ruined, Lady Bai lost all will to fight. She gave Zongbao a seductive wink and said in a reluctant, sweet voice, "Zongbao, I'm leaving!" With a graceful sway of her white skirt, she turned her horse around and rode back to the city.
Meng Liang and Jiao Zan dismounted and helped Yang Zongbao up. Jiao Zan joked, "You're destined to be cursed by women! The first time I saw you knocked off your horse by your niece-in-law, and now you've been knocked off by a female general, hehe!" Meanwhile, Lady Bai, seeing her good deed thwarted by the two generals, was quite annoyed. She returned to the general's mansion and met Bai Tianzu, saying, "Yang Zongbao was utterly defeated and fled by me." Bai Tianzu was overjoyed and immediately ordered a banquet to celebrate for his wife. During the banquet, Madam Bai had an idea: why not get her husband drunk, then go find that pale-faced young general, and this time capture him alive so she could spend the night with him? Thinking of this, she ignored the urge to defecate, straightened her white skirt, patted her beautiful buttocks, and plopped down on Bai Tianzu's wine table. She acted coquettishly, disregarding elegance, giggling sweetly. Sometimes her buttocks sagged, sometimes she flirtatiously stuck them out. Ignoring the nausea, she gritted her teeth, grabbed Bai Tianzu's hand, and pressed it against the buttocks of her white floral skirt, making Bai Tianzu laugh heartily. He rubbed and played with her buttocks while drinking heartily, and soon he was drunk by Madam Bai. As soon as Bai Tianzu collapsed, Madam Bai disgustedly removed the old man's hand from her buttocks. She ordered her maid to help Bai Tianzu to the back room to rest. She hurriedly went to the outhouse in the marshal's mansion to relieve herself. While relieving herself, she was thinking about Yang Zongbao. The more she thought about him, the happier and more excited she became. Her desire was uncontrollable, and her whole body was burning hot. She really wanted to hold Zongbao in her arms. After defecating, she hurriedly wiped her bottom with a silk handkerchief. While wiping, she couldn't help but laugh at herself:
was her innocent, girlish heart fluttering today a return to her youth? Thinking back, she, a renowned beauty who once dominated the Liao Kingdom, was now serving that old man, Bai Tianzu. Although she was no pushover, secretly having affairs with princes and nobles, and openly having illicit relations with them, she still felt wronged to have lost her virginity to that old man and become his concubine! Because she was thinking of her Prince Charming, Yang Zongbao, she didn't even bother to wash herself after relieving herself. She quickly dressed, rode out of the mansion, and headed straight for the Song camp. Lady Bai never dreamed that her hasty departure from the city would be like throwing a meat bun to a dog—a one-way trip. When she returned, this "heartthrob" beauty had become a beautiful corpse. She could only condescend to abandon her status as a great beauty, her delicate buttocks protruding as she was carried back to the city to see her husband and subordinates. A later poem testifies to this: "One foot stepped into the path of life and death, two hands pushed open the gates of right and wrong."
Zongbao was resting in his tent when he suddenly heard someone outside the camp demanding a duel with him. The challenge had come to him, and Yang Zongbao, ignoring his injuries, pulled his horse out of the camp gate. The moment his buttocks touched the saddle, a sharp pain shot through him, but he didn't care. Outside the camp, it was that female general again, still in her flowing white dress, her buttocks plump and shapely, extremely alluring. This time, Yang Zongbao was furious. He thought: "If it weren't for you, you vixen, I wouldn't have received forty lashes on my buttocks!" He was furious. He brandished his spear with both hands, and without a word, lunged at the female general. Madam Bai smiled slightly, using her twin swords to parry Zongbao's spear, and said, "General, I was just about to consummate our marriage when those two reckless men interrupted us. Back in the city, I got my husband drunk and came to discuss something important with you." Yang Zongbao felt nauseous at her constant use of "this young lady," thinking to himself, "Madam Bai, you're all about the allure of your buttocks. You're certainly more lewd and shameless than any other woman. I wonder how many men have touched and played with your ass, how many men have sat on your laps, how many men have slept with you, and yet you still have the audacity to call yourself 'young lady'!" "What do you want to talk to me about?" she said irritably. Madam Bai, wearing a white floral dress, felt a surge of heat in her buttocks, which had just relieved herself. Her face flushed slightly as she said, "If you're willing to let me serve the general, I will surrender to the Song Dynasty, hand over Hongzhou, and capture Bai Tianzu alive! My buttocks will then be completely devoted to serving the general! Look at my dress, and the buttocks inside it. Aren't they beautiful?" By the end, the quick-witted Madam Bai stammered, her face turning red with embarrassment. Two rosy blushes rose to her cheeks, making her look charming and beautiful. Upon hearing her shamelessness, Yang Zongbao was enraged. He roared, "You shameless slut! I, a dignified general of the Great Song Dynasty, will take Hongzhou honorably, capture Bai Tianzu and you, you vile woman Hu Jiaming, alive, seize your alluring, lewd ass, press down your slender waist, and make you bend over with your plump white skirt ass to suffer torture until you die! Who would take in a shameless slut like you!" Yang Zongbao's repeated use of "slut" made Madam Bai's face flush red. Her burning ass and excited heart seemed to have been doused with cold water, instantly cooling. A cold glint flashed in her eyes, and she brandished her twin swords, shouting, "Since you refuse, watch me take your life!" With that, she spurred her horse forward. The two generals clashed, two white shadows spinning, making it impossible to distinguish man from horse. After more than a hundred rounds of fighting, Zongbao's buttocks were still throbbing with pain, and he was gradually becoming no match for Lady Bai. As Lady Bai continued her attack, her mind began to wander again; she still couldn't bring herself to kill him, wanting to capture him and take him back to the city to persuade him with kind words. So she deliberately feigned an opening and rode away. Yang Zongbao spurred his horse to chase after her, shouting, "Do you still want to use that copper hammer?" It was dusk, and the two horses galloped into the wilderness. When Zongbao was close enough, Lady Bai twisted her body. Yang Zongbao, thinking the copper hammer was coming again, hurriedly twisted to dodge.
Unexpectedly, Lady Bai's twist was a feint; seeing Yang Zongbao turn, she swept the back of her sword, pushing Zongbao off his horse in the process. Lady Bai's warhorse spun around and stopped beside Zongbao. Pointing her sword, she said, "Yang Zongbao, you're about to die. Will you obey or not? Speak now! If you obey, I'll offer my jade buttocks, serve you faithfully for life, and bear your children; if you don't, I'll let you die on the spot, and use your corpse to cushion my buttocks!" Zongbao lay on the ground, cursing, "You lowly wench! A pretty woman like you, yet you keep 'my buttocks' on your lips like a cliché! Kill me if you want, why all this arguing!" Lady Bai stuck out her buttocks on the saddle, raised her twin swords, and tried to intimidate him. Just then, a shout rang out: "Barbarian general, stop your violence! Take this arrow!" The arrow struck Lady Bai's sword squarely. She cried out, her sword nearly falling to the ground. Turning her jade-white buttocks around, she saw a female general leading a troop of female and male soldiers rushing towards her.
Lady Bai pointed her knife with her right hand and shouted, "Who are you, daring to use such a vicious attack?" Mu Guiying stopped her horse and said, "I am Mu Guiying, the commander-in-chief of the Song Dynasty!" When Lady Bai heard that it was Mu Guiying who had broken through the Heavenly Gate, she looked her over carefully and found that she was indeed a hero with extraordinary bearing. She couldn't help but feel a chill running down her backside, which was covered by a thin skirt, as if she were eating an ice pop on a sunny day, with a coldness emanating from her backside. Mu Guiying retorted, "Who are you to have knocked my vanguard to the ground?" Before Madam Bai could reply, Yang Zongbao scrambled to his feet, pointed at Madam Bai, and stammered, "She, she is Bai Tianzu's wretched wife, Hu Jiaming! She, she made me call her Miss Jiaming, she, she seduces men, and, she's so uncouth, spouting nonsense in front of the battle! And, she's so unrestrained! Don't let her delicate and refined appearance fool you, when she speaks, she keeps saying 'this young lady's buttocks,' she's not ashamed at all!" The Song soldiers burst into laughter. Although Madam Bai, Hu Jiaming, was always flirtatious and bold, acting without restraint or fear, she was now blushing with embarrassment, afraid that Yang Zongbao would reveal her intimate secrets.
Madam Bai snorted and said, "I think your Yang family is nothing special, just a head and two arms! Back then, when the Seven Wolves and Eight Tigers stormed Youzhou, in the Battle of Jinshatan, so many members of the Yang family were either killed or wounded. Now only Liu Lang is left. As the saying goes, one tree cannot make a forest, so what are you afraid of?" She rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "If a pretty boy like Yang Zongbao comes, I don't think he's anything to be afraid of. But your Yang family's female generals are all like tigresses. Take you, Mu Guiying, for example, fierce and without any femininity..." When Guiying heard that it was Madam Bai, she looked up and saw the female general in front of her wearing an exquisite seven-star crown with two pheasant feathers at the back, a snow-white floral battle skirt, a chainmail armor underneath, a dark blue tight-fitting bodysuit, and blue velvet fingerless gloves. She was beautiful and charming, and although she was seductive and alluring, she was truly a beautiful woman. Upon closer inspection, the beauty was tall and slender, with delicately drawn eyebrows, an oval face, and flowing hair. Her pretty face was lightly made up, and her two long, snow-white legs, accentuated by her rounded, full buttocks, exuded a slender elegance. Her narrow, bound feet further emphasized her graceful figure, making her a truly beautiful maiden. The twin swords in her hands added a touch of murderous intent to her delicate beauty, making her even more alluring and captivating. Her beauty was beyond compare, making even Mu Guiying feel a sense of inferiority and envy. Mu Guiying was a seasoned warrior and knew that female generals usually possessed extraordinary skills. Moreover, this beautiful woman before her was not only flirtatious and seductive, but also highly skilled in martial arts, exceptionally capable, ruthless, and infamous for her beauty. Rumor had it that she had seduced Li Hanchao to capture Hongzhou City, and that even her buttocks could kill.
Mu Guiying said, "Ah, you are Lady Bai!" Pointing at Lady Bai, she shouted, "In the Battle of Tianmen Formation, your hundreds of thousands of troops were reduced to ashes. Now you come again, trying to provoke me and seize my territory. You and your subjects are truly shameless! Today, I, the commander, have led a large army here. If you know the consequences, quickly withdraw from Hongzhou and return to the Northern Kingdom. From now on, our two countries will cease hostilities!" Lady Bai replied, "Mu Guiying, as a general, don't you know that victory and defeat are common occurrences in war? In the Battle of Tianmen Formation, you were lucky to succeed. I'm afraid Hongzhou today is not as good as Jiulong Valley. Besides, we two women..." "It seems it's time for people to have a competition! Isn't that right?" Mu Guiying, hearing Hu Jiaming's stubbornness and recalling her farting incident before the battle, turned to Zongbao and teased, "Zongbao, even though she's a pretty young lady, she still has a butt! Farts are the gas from grains, and pretty young ladies eat grains too, so they can't escape it either! Pretty young ladies also have to fart with their butts! You have to care if a pretty young lady farts!" She then turned to Madam Bai and said, "Miss Jiaming..." "Look at you, in your flowing white dress, with your plump bottom, so handsome and intelligent, possessing both beauty and talent—no wonder you're so favored! Meeting you today, I truly feel pity for you!" "Miss, I am not your husband, nor am I a man. I have no interest in your bottom, nor do I care whether you fart on the battlefield or not. With such excellent martial arts, it's no wonder my vanguard was defeated by you. I've heard that many female generals have looked down on you and tried to kick your bottom, only to be injured by you instead, all dying under your twin swords. Come, Miss Jia Mei, you are my..." "I'm leaving the city, and I don't need anyone's help. Today, let's have a clean fight between the two of us women!" Hearing Yang Zongbao's declaration and Mu Guiying's constant teasing of her as a "pretty young lady," Madam Bai felt increasingly desolate. "I, a beautiful woman loved by everyone, with countless admirers, was usually arrogant and domineering. Who knew that I would be seen like this by my lover? Alas, I have lost all my charm in front of him. What's the point of living? I'd rather die on the battlefield today!" Madam Bai bowed slightly, straightening her beautiful white dress, and replied, "Very well, then I'll see if you can defeat my Sun and Moon Twin Blades. Quite a few vile women have challenged me, deeming me beautiful and skilled in martial arts, even trying to kick my buttocks. Without exception, they've all been kicked and sent to their deaths. Today, we two women will fight three hundred rounds, and see who kicks whose buttocks in the end!" She then extended a finger, coldly declaring, "Buttocks determine heads. Today, our buttocks are directly connected to our two beautiful heads!" She spurred her horse forward, brandishing her twin blades, and engaged Mu Guiying in battle. At this moment,
Yang Zongbao's warhorse returned, and Yang Zongbao mounted his horse, watching the fight from the sidelines. They fought for thirty rounds, neither gaining the upper hand. As dusk approached, Madam Bai grew impatient. She feared that when Bai Zu woke up from his drunken stupor and found her absent, knowing her promiscuous nature, she would surely become suspicious. Just then, a gurgling sound came from Madam Bai's stomach. It was quiet at the time, making the sound particularly jarring. Madam Bai blushed and instinctively clutched her stomach. Even through her clothes, she could feel the peristalsis of her intestines, like water-filled pipes being coiled together, gurgling incessantly. Accompanying this were waves of cramping pain, an urge to defecate. Hu Jiamei cursed inwardly, knowing she had upset her stomach from the cold food and wine she had eaten while teasing Bai Tianzu. She endured the churning pain, pretending to be fine, but a chilling premonition emanated from her buttocks. Therefore, she wanted to finish off Mu Guiying as soon as possible so she could rush back to the city to relieve herself; as for her affair with Yang Zongbao, she could worry about that later. Madam Bai frowned, somewhat regretting her decision to leave the city alone. She thought, "It seems today is fraught with danger. The only option now is to outsmart them..." Having made up her mind, she charmingly twirled her alluring white dress, gave Yang Zongbao a flirtatious wink, opened her cute cherry-like mouth, and cried out, "This young lady is unwell today and doesn't want to fight anymore. General, please don't chase me!" With a flick of her hips, she turned and rode away. To maintain her elegance in front of Yang Zongbao and salvage her ladylike image, she knew she couldn't fart in front of the enemy. So she clenched her delicate anal sphincter muscles, forcefully holding back the filth that had already reached her anus—what a devoted and beautiful woman, Hu Jiamei! Mu Guiying had already realized Hu Jiamei's weakness in the abdomen, knowing that the beautiful woman urgently needed to relieve herself. A thought struck her: "Today, she left the city alone to find Zongbao without a single soldier. This is a perfect opportunity to eliminate this beauty. Don't let her escape! Kill her without mercy!" Guiying disregarded Hu Jiamei's discomfort and spurred her horse to give chase. Yang Zongbao shouted from the side, "Watch out for her copper hammer!" Madam Bai cursed inwardly, "This southern barbarian is truly despicable! I spared his life twice, yet he still protects his wife!" Thinking this, she stuck her buttocks out further, secretly taking the copper hammer in her hand.
She wielded this hidden weapon with remarkable skill, hitting her target every time. Countless warriors, initially holding the upper hand while chasing her, their eyes fixed on her shapely white skirt and admiring her waist and figure, would suddenly be caught off guard by a flash of cold light and fall dead beneath her swiftly drawn copper hammer. Hearing Zongbao's shout, Mu Guiying became even more cautious. Seeing Guiying approach, Madam Bai involuntarily swayed her beautiful white skirt and hips. Guiying, noticing her feint, didn't dodge. Immediately afterward, Madam Bai's hammer flew out. Guiying, seeing the copper hammer approaching, dodged and hid, the hammer grazing her armor. When the hammer missed, Madam Bai panicked. This thing could only be used once; it wouldn't work the second time. She couldn't help but gasp, feeling a chill run down her spine. "Oh dear, this is bad! Could it be that I'm really going to die here today? It's not so bad that I'll just kick my legs and roll my eyes, and then I won't know anything. It's just a pity that my beautiful butt hasn't been flaunted enough, hasn't been played with enough by that heartless Zongbao!" She withdrew the hammer, not having time to think further. She swallowed hard, forced herself to remain calm, swayed her white skirt around her buttocks, and turned around to fight Guiying again.

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