[The Lewd Scholar]

Origin: After the founding of the Song Dynasty, the military power was released over a cup of wine, and
the trend of valuing civil affairs over military affairs swept through the court and the country. The court issued decrees and established a wide range of academic disciplines. In the spring and autumn, the emperor personally appointed the top three scholars in each subject,
and granted them official titles and ranks. Students from all over flocked to the courtesans to take the imperial examinations. Among them, the Minister of Rites,
noting the high quality of the courtesans—who were skilled in literature, singing, poetry, dance, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—and concerned with curbing
the vulgarity of the court's military men and elevating the quality of the courtesans, petitioned Emperor Shenzong to appoint a "licentious scholar" as the top scholar…
In the second year of Emperor Shenzong's reign (1641), after passing the various examinations—the provincial examinations, the metropolitan examinations, the skills examinations, and the civil service examinations—
five people from various regions passed and obtained the title of "Xiucai" (a lower-level scholar). These five were Wang Kang from Henan, Sima Xiang from Ningbo,
Wang Fu from Hangzhou, Kong Ding from Qufu, and Zhao Ziwen from the capital. All five were outstanding, possessing both academic and artistic talents. On the day of the palace examination,
Emperor Shenzong was slightly unwell and unable to appoint the top scholar. He decreed that Prime Minister Wang Anshi be the chief examiner, and Ouyang Xiu, Sima Guang, Fan Zhongyan, and Lü Huiqing
be the examiners.
(I) The First Test of Impromptu Couplets
"Dong! The Palace Examination begins!" Wang Anshi, the chief examiner, struck the giant drum in the main hall, announcing the start of the examination.
Sima Guang, the examiner himself, dressed in simple official robes, walked onto the examination platform and announced the rules: "By imperial decree, this
Palace Examination consists of two parts: a literary examination and a practical examination. Each part will consist of five questions. The literary examination will be conducted by drawing lots and answering orally on the spot. The practical examination will be conducted
by drawing lots and performing a practical exercise on the spot, timed by an hourglass. Those who fail to answer within the time limit or do not answer at all will be eliminated. The final winner will
be appointed by the Emperor as the top scholar (Zhuangyuan), the second-ranked scholar (Bangyan), and the third-ranked scholar (Tanhua). All will be appointed to official positions and receive official salaries. The fourth and fifth-ranked scholars
will retain the title of Xiucai, but will only receive a salary and will not be given an official position." After speaking, he turned and returned to his seat.
"The first round of the written examination: A short, lewd couplet. Candidates must compose a matching line based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The answer
must demonstrate both lewdness and depth of scholarship. No words may be repeated from previous answers. The time allotted is one hourglass,
signaled by the sound of a gong. One hourglass corresponds to three gongs." Lü Huiqing announced the start of the first round.
Wang Anshi, as the chief examiner, followed custom by politely opening the question. He stepped onto the examination platform and drew a bamboo slip: "Kong Ding!"
Wang Anshi drew a slip, looked at the name engraved on it, and called out.
"Here!" Kong Ding quickly responded and stood up.
"Good, listen carefully… 'Lanterns and decorations await early spring.' The last character of the couplet must rhyme. Please answer."
Wang Anshi set this question because he was promoting new reform policies, seemingly to announce a new era.
Kong Ding scratched his head: "Well… I've got it! 'Near and far, lewdness fills the city!'"
"Good, lewd and worthy of the question. Please sit." Wang Anshi nodded and went back.
"Next is... Wang Fu!"
"Yes...yes..." Wang Fu stood up firmly and quickly.
After a moment's thought, Wang Fu replied, "Joyfully opening the gate! Haha..."
"Good...excellent. Please sit down!"
"Wang Kang!"
"...Yes...yes..." Upon seeing Wang Anshi, Wang Kang was momentarily at a loss, too frightened to stand, and forgot
to respond.
"Okay, well...let me think...well..."
"Clang...the first gong has sounded." The timekeeper called out.
"Well..." Wang Kang scratched his head, deep in thought.
"Clang...the second gong!"
"Well...I've got it, I've got it...fire the cannons straight at the enemy! Hehe..." Wang Kang breathed a sigh of relief.
"This...this..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the other examiners.
Ouyang Xiu, the most learned scholar in the court, waved his hand and said, "Let's let him off this time!" The other examiners said no more
.
"Alright, next up is Zhao Ziwen, the talented scholar from the capital!"
Zhao Ziwen flicked his sleeves and replied, "Birds and magpies gather, the flower
seeker's lips are in high spirits!" "Good, good... what a fine 'flower seeker's lips'!" Sima Guang praised enthusiastically.
"Thank you, esteemed teacher!" Zhao Ziwen bowed and thanked him, referring to himself as a student, clearly confident of winning.
"Finally, it's Sima Xiang!"
"A virtuous woman in red makeup is on the verge of losing her senses!" Sima Xiang finished speaking and sat down with satisfaction.
"Wait, what is the lewd meaning in this couplet?" Wang Anshi asked
, puzzled. Sima Xiang was about to stand up to explain when Fan Zhongyan waved for him to sit down. Fan Zhongyan continued, "Reporting to the Prime Minister
, the lewd meaning in this answer can only be understood intuitively, not in the words themselves. 'On the verge of losing her senses' implies the climax, which is
the expression of lewdness."
"Hmm... Brother Fan, your insight is profound. Good... approved!" Wang Anshi praised Fan Zhongyan's
explanation with a sudden realization.
"Good! The first round of impromptu written examination is over. All five scholars have passed. Please go to the back room to rest for a while.
The second round of written examination will begin in two hours. Exit!" Wang Anshi announced the temporary break.
The candidates and the examiners all left, leaving only the spectators to comment and whisper among themselves. Some
thought "nearly lost in thought" deserved the top prize, some thought "opening the door" was a good choice, some thought "straight man" should
be changed to "fierce man" for a more powerful word, and some thought "lust fills the city" best matched the theme "waiting for early spring"
... The public placed bets or placed wagers, and the lively and tense atmosphere in the palace was no less than that of the examination in the palace.
(II) Seven-character quatrains show strength
"Dong! The second round of written examination begins!" As the examiners and candidates took their seats, the chief examiner, Wang Anshi,
struck the giant drum in the hall for the second time, announcing the start of the palace examination.
"The second round of the written examination: a seven-character quatrain. Candidates must compose a three-line
response based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The meaning must be suggestive and profound, conforming to the rules of Tang poetry. Repetition of words from previous answers is allowed, but
the meaning must not be identical. The response time is one hourglass, signaled by the striking of a gong; one hourglass corresponds to three gong strikes." Lü Huiqing announced
the start of the second round.
This round's question was posed by Sima Guang. Sima Guang, the Imperial Censor, smoothed his sleeves and stepped onto the examination platform. Having
just submitted a memorial criticizing Prime Minister Wang Anshi's new policies for four major flaws—encroachment on official power, creating trouble, profiteering, and refusing recommendations—and having been
rejected by Wang Anshi, Sima Guang intended to use this question to subtly satirize Prime Minister Wang.
Sima Guang drew the first candidate's bamboo slip and looked at it: "The first candidate is…Prime
Minister Sima!"
Prime Minister Sima stood up, awaiting Sima Guang's question.
"Listen carefully, Scholar Sima Xiang... The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered. Please complete the question!"
Sima Xiang fell into deep thought...
"Clang... The first gong has sounded." The timekeeper struck the gong.
"Got it... The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, the wax has turned to ash before the tears dry, the heart will not die until the coffin is seen,
the man will not return until he has slept with a beautiful woman!"
"Good, good, good line, 'The man will not return until he has slept with a beautiful woman,' please sit down!" Sima Guang returned to his seat and drew the second
examinee.
"Zhao Ziwen!"
"Here!" Zhao Ziwen was the second examinee, so he naturally had more time to think than the first Sima Xiang.
As soon as he stood up, he recited the poem: "The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, the bright moon is obscured by clouds and the stars are scattered, the beautiful woman alone guards her lustful hatred, it's just
that the patron's interest has waned!"
"Hmm... good, the beautiful woman alone guards her lustful hatred, well done!" Sima Guang repeatedly praised, and the spectators also
generously praised.
"The next one is... Kong Ding!"
Kong Ding fell into deep thought, seemingly having some difficulty. In fact, the rules of the palace examination had advantages and disadvantages for those who answered first and those who answered later
. In the first round, although those who answered first had less time to think than others, those who answered later
could not use the same words as the former. Therefore, those who answered first had the advantage of room for choice in the questions. The same was true for the second round. The meaning of the entire
poem of those who answered later could not be the same as that of those who answered first, which was a real limitation in terms of the source material.
"Clang... the first gong is sounding!"
Kong Ding did not even stand up...
"Clang... the second gong is
sounding!" Kong Ding slowly moved his body, but was still deep in thought.
"Clang..."
"I've got it!" Just as the third gong was struck, Kong Ding answered: "The east wind is powerless and the flowers are withered,
the clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass, a pillar pierces the silent sky, and the sound of lust fills the passenger boat at midnight!"
"Well done... clap! clap! clap!" The audience applauded after hearing it.
Sima Guang turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who whispered to Sima, the Imperial Censor, "Both 'Clouds and rain forcefully cross
the mountain pass' and 'A pillar pierces the silent sky' are excellent!"
"Next is Wang Fu!"
Wang Fu, also constrained by the limited scope of the question, stood up in deep thought.
"Go for it... Wang Fu, scholar, go for it... I bet you'll be the top scholar! Go for it..." someone in the spectators
shouted. "Clang... the first gong has sounded!"
"Don't rush, don't rush... I've got it! 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered...' Well... well..."
Sima Guang, seeing the situation was not right, turned and waved to the timekeeper.
"Clang... the second gong has sounded!"
"Good, good! This time it's for real... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, an old man pushes a cart, his legs falter, no sound
of lewdness is heard in the wind and rainy night, a wanton woman lies drunk, her clothes wet!'"
"Oh... good! Good! Poor wanton woman! Haha..." The spectators couldn't help but burst into laughter
.
"A night without the sounds of debauchery, a truly excellent poem!" Wang Anshi commented.
"Since the examiners have no objections, let the last candidate answer the question!"
Lü Huiqing called on Wang Kang to answer, but Wang Kang, who was incapable of handling large gatherings, was immediately speechless
, his mind blank.
"Clang... the first gong has sounded!"
"Good, good, don't rush me... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered...' This... the east wind..."
Sima Guang turned and waved to the timekeeper.
"Clang... the second gong has sounded!"
"Alright... alright... I've got it! This... the east wind... to the western prostitute... this powerless...
to..."
Seeing that Wang Kang was stalling for time, Sima Guang said, "If Scholar Wang cannot recite the entire poem in one go, I will
ask you to withdraw from the competition!"
"I've got it, I've got it... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, the western prostitute's clothes are wet with flowers, she won't give up until she reaches the Yellow River...
' This..."
Sima Guang waved to the timekeeper again.
"Clang... The third gong has sounded!"
"Wait! The little snake still wants to pierce through... What? Haha!"
Sima Guang turned to look at Ouyang Xiu, but saw Ouyang Xiu shaking his head repeatedly. Fan Zhongyan continued, "
If Wang Kang's poem is meant to express the indomitable spirit of the flower picker, then it is the same as the meaning of Sima Xiang's reply poem; if
it is meant to express the insatiable desires of the prostitute, then it is the same as Zhao Zi's poem; if it is meant to express the old age and weakness of the lecher
, then it is the same as Wang Fu's; if it is meant to express the lecher's desire to cross the mountain pass despite his weakness, then
it is the same as Kong Ding's poem..."
"Furthermore, since you answered after the time was up, according to the rules of this palace examination, Wang Kang, you have been eliminated
." Sima Guang finally announced the unanimous decision of the palace examiners to the public.
A commotion erupted among the spectators, some crying out, "Waaah... damn Wang Kang! Damn Wang Kang! I've
poured all my savings into you! Who knew you'd be so disappointing, boohoo... boohoo... what am I going to do with my family! Boohoo...
boohoo..."
"Exit!" Wang Anshi was the first to leave the examination platform.
"After a two-hour rest, the third round of the competition will begin. Scholar Wang Kang will not need to return to the palace after this round!" Lü Huiqing
announced to the crowd.
(III) Wang Kang's Clever Argument Sparks a Lewd Repercussions
Just as the examination official Lü Huiqing announced the elimination of scholar Wang Kang, the spectators began to
hurl insults at him. Most of them were fathers or aunts who had bet their fortunes on Wang Kang's success in the imperial examination, causing Wang Kang to feel
a pang of sorrow and remorse. "Gentlemen of the Imperial Examination, please wait!" Suddenly, Wang Kang returned to the examination platform and 　　shouted
at the examination officials who were turning to leave . 　　Upon hearing someone shout at a high-ranking official, the soldiers guarding the examination hall drew their swords in alarm; the spectators were also 　　taken aback, as if Wang Kang would cause trouble due to his dissatisfaction with failing the exam. 　　Wang Anshi stopped, waved away the soldiers escorting him, and turned to Wang Kang, saying, "Scholar Wang, 　　why are you preventing these officials from leaving?" 　　Wang Kang lowered his voice, cupped his hands in greeting to Wang Anshi, and said, "May I ask, Your Excellency, are there 　　any regulations regarding answering after the allotted time or failing to answer after the allotted time in the palace examination?" 　　"Of course! Anyone who answers after the allotted time or fails to answer after the allotted time will be eliminated," Lü Huiqing solemnly explained the palace examination rules 　　. 　　"Then may I ask, Your Excellency, are there any regulations regarding those who answer only half of the questions after the allotted time?"

"Well...you think..." Lü Huiqing was speechless for a moment, turning to look at Sima Guang.
"Yes, I am unworthy and dull-witted, but I
did not answer after the time limit; I answered the first part before the time expired. Furthermore, I did not fail to answer after the time limit; I finished answering the whole thing after the time limit expired. I dare to ask you
, Your Excellency, under what law should I be disqualified from taking the exam?"
"Yes, yes! Good, good! Clap clap clap..." Upon hearing Wang Kang's words, the spectators couldn't help but
applaud in support.
"Well... well..." Wang Anshi turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who stepped forward and
said to Wang Kang, "According to the rules of the palace examination, there is indeed no regulation on the time allotted for your answers, but the content of your answers is
identical to that of the previous four candidates. According to the rules of the palace examination, you should still be eliminated!"
Wang Kang smiled and said, "What is the similarity? Sima Xiangru's poem 'East Wind' alludes to lewdness, the poem's meaning being 'If one does not indulge in lust,
one will not return,' emphasizing that lewdness, though powerless to stop..." Despite his actions, he remained unyielding, determined to seduce the beautiful woman; Zhao Ziwen's "East Wind
" alludes to his patron,
the poem's meaning lies in "the beautiful woman alone, harboring resentment for her patron's inability to fulfill his desires," emphasizing the woman's resentment at his patron's inability to act; Kong Ding's "East Wind" alludes to the rapist, the poem's meaning lies in "clouds and rain forcefully crossing mountains and passes" and "a pillar piercing the silent sky," emphasizing the rapist's forceful
demands despite his inability to act; Wang Fu's "East Wind" alludes to the old man, the poem's meaning lies in "no sounds of lust heard on a stormy night
," emphasizing the old man's impotence. How can the meanings of these four poems be the same as my own? "
Then what does Wang Xiucai's 'East Wind' refer to...?" Fan Zhongyan asked doubtfully.
"I mean... a penis."
"Hahaha... he means that! Hahaha..." The audience
couldn't help but laugh when they heard that Wang Kang's "East Wind" referred to a penis.
"How can you tell?" Sima Guang couldn't help but ask as well.
"Have you all forgotten my last line?"
"What was your last line...?"
"It was 'The little snake still wants to pierce through.'"
"Haha...ha! The east wind refers to the little snake! Haha..." The crowd couldn't help but laugh again.
"Hmm...then what is the meaning of your poem?" Wang Anshi, finding it reasonable, pressed Wang Kang for the meaning of his poem.
"Reporting to you, my poem means that the penis is overestimating itself and still wants to pierce through!" Wang Kang cleverly argued, and immediately the crowd
below the stage erupted in commotion again.
"Well..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the highly respected Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang Xiu thought for a
moment, then suddenly smiled and nodded to Wang Anshi.
"Alright! Since you haven't exceeded the rules of the palace examination, you are still qualified to continue the competition!" After saying this, Wang Anshi
turned and left with the other palace examiners. The soldiers sheathed their swords, and the crowd happily congratulated Wang Kang.
The other candidates, however, showed expressions of helplessness.
Sima Xiang approached Wang Kang with a puzzled look and asked, "I humbly request your guidance, Brother Wang, can a penis also serve as the east wind
?"
"Of course it can! Haven't you heard the saying, 'Everything is ready except for the east wind'? How can a lecherous man perform without a penis
?" Wang Kang replied with a smile, cleverly arguing.
"Yes, yes... Brother Wang is right!" Sima Xiang tactfully withdrew.
(IV) The sounds of lewdness continued.
Two hours passed in the blink of an eye. Accompanied by the commotion and jeers of the spectators, the officials of the palace examination,
escorted by soldiers, entered the examination hall. The candidates had already taken their seats in the hall, waiting for the third round of the written examination. After a while,
the chief examiner, Wang Anshi, walked to the front of the hall and said: "Given that the five candidates are all outstanding talents, in order to avoid
wasting the time of the officials in charge of the palace examination and the normal life of the people, the third round of the written examination, as well as the subsequent
fourth and fifth rounds, will be conducted in one go without a break... Now, let's begin the third round of the written examination!"
As soon as Wang Anshi announced the completion of the entire written examination, the crowd cheered, because what
everyone was most looking forward to was not the written examination, but the practical skills competition that followed.
"The third round of the written examination is a designated poem. Each candidate must compose
a seven-character quatrain on the spot, based on a given topic from the examiners. The poem must contain both beautiful and erotic themes. Three gongs will be allotted time.
Those who fail to answer within the time limit, do not answer, or only partially answer will be eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the slightly revised rules of the palace examination due to the Wang Kang incident
.
"Alright, the first one is Wang Kang…." This round was presided over by Fan Zhongyan. Fan drew the first lot,
and whether intentionally or unintentionally, Wang Kang, who had just secured his place in the examination, was immediately chosen. "Wang Kang, listen… please
compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's twin breasts. The timer begins!" Fan waved his hand, and the timekeeper inverted the hourglass
to begin the timer.
"Clang… the first gong has run out!" Wang Kang stood thoughtfully on the examination platform.
"Go Wang Kang… Go Wang Kang…" Cheers from the spectators echoed from below.
"Clang... The second gong has sounded!" 　　"
Got it... 'Looking at it from the side, it's a ridge; viewed from the front, it's a peak; near and far, high and low, each view is different. I can't see the true face of Mount Lu, only because I've clenched my hands tightly ...' Haha..." Wang Kang answered as usual and then smiled. 　　"Good... good... it really is different in size and height... ha... ha..." The spectators 　　laughed heartily. 　　"Good, passed. Next up is... Wang Fu!" Fan Zhongyan drew the second candidate to the stage. 　　"Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the topic of a woman's small mouth. The timer begins!" Fan Zhongyan gave the second topic 　　to Wang Fu, the second candidate to answer. 　　"Well..." Wang Fu was also deep in thought; it was truly a challenge. Actually, this third written test 　　was different from the first two. The first two tests used the same question, so the later answerers had more time to think but were limited by the inability to repeat the meaning of the previous answers. The third test, however, involved different questions given to each person by the examiners, so 　　it didn't affect 　　whether someone answered first or later , and therefore everyone needed to think for a while. 　　"Clang... the first gong sounds." 　　"This... white fluid..." Wang Fu hesitated. 　　"Clang... the second gong sounds." 　　"White fluid... oh... I've got it... white fluid, jade liquid, tastes the flute, sprays and flows to the mouth, never to return, first sees kissing, holding, 　　licking, sucking, then sees pushing, trembling, pushing." Wang Fu breathed a sigh of relief and sat down! 　　Fan Zhongyan looked at Wang Fu suspiciously, "Wait... what does 'first sees kissing, holding, licking, sucking' mean?"

"Your Excellency, it is a woman's small mouth kissing, holding, and licking the penis."
"And what about pushing and trembling?"
"Your Excellency, it is a man's penis pressing, thrusting, and trembling as he ejaculates."
"Alright, I understand... Please sit down!"
Wang Fu then actually sat down.
"Good for you, Wang Fu... bring the top scholar and the prince consort over together... haha... the princess's little mouth is quite big
... hahaha..." The spectators laughed and joked again.
"Next is... Zhao Ziwen!" Zhao Ziwen straightened his clothes, cupped his hands, and waited for the questions given by Master Fan.
"Zhao Ziwen, please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's plump buttocks..."
Unexpectedly, Zhao Ziwen immediately answered with a poem: "A graceful lady with a pert bottom, a pack of lecherous wolves surround her,
embracing her from the front and pushing her from behind, wanting to peek into her back garden!"
"Haha... wanting to have some fun in the back garden... it has to be long enough... hahaha..." Zhao Ziwen's answer
naturally drew a burst of laughter from the crowd!
"Good, that's lewd... next is Sima Xiang."
"Here..."
"Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of an old woman's repressed lust."
"Got it... a middle-aged woman still has a good charm, wanting to use a wooden pestle to pound water around a dry well, a man riding a bamboo horse to slaughter the city, the green plum makes
the man beg for mercy."
"Oh... not bad... the last line would be even better if it were changed to 'the old lady is so happy she's screaming'... hahaha..."
The crowd started jeering again.
"You've passed the test, but..." Old Fan seemed hesitant, then continued, "Since ancient times, the Han and the traitors have been irreconcilable enemies.
Now, the Liao Dynasty in the north is stirring up trouble against us. Sima Xiang's 'The green plum makes the Han beg for mercy' seems inappropriate!"
"Then... change it to... The green plum makes the stick beg for mercy... That should be acceptable, right?" Sima Xiang changed the character "Han"
to "stick"!
"Alright... Next is Kong Ding!... Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a young girl's beautiful vulva..."
"Well... I've got it... A young girl's beautiful vulva is always wet, on the eve of her first night she wipes away her tears, I ask you, do you have any pleasure?
It's during the thrusting in and out." Kong Ding answered this test with ease.
"Alright! Passed... Since everyone has passed again, let's proceed directly to the fourth test." Wang Anshi announced
the start of the fourth test.
"The fourth round of the written examination is a seven-character poem relay. Each candidate must use the last character of the previous candidate's poem
as the first character, ensuring the meaning is coherent. The character's form and pronunciation must be identical. Write a seven-character poem, which
must rhyme, contain lewd elements, and the last character of each line must not be repeated from the previous candidate's. There are five rounds in total. Those who fail to complete their answers within the time limit
are eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the rules for this round as usual.
The fourth round was presided over by Ouyang Xiu. He stepped forward and drew four lots from the bamboo tube to determine
the order of answers. The order was Sima Xiang, Wang Kang, Zhao Ziwen, Wang Fu, and Kong Ding. Ouyang Xiu then began to
pose the question: "The great river flows eastward, its waves sweeping away... Please, Sima Xiang, continue the poem..."
"Good, remove all your clothes and await the wolf's plucking."
"Plucking the yin to nourish the yang," Wang Kang replied.
Zhao Ziwen continued, "The yang rod draws water into the yin well."
"The depth of the well measures your lewd power," Wang Fu answered.
"Your power is insufficient, leading to premature ejaculation," Kong Ding answered, ending the first round.
"Clap...clap clap...good..." The spectators applauded.
Sima Xiang then began the second round: "When your essence is abundant, urge your rod to rise again."
"Get up and seduce the girl again," Wang Kang answered, eliciting a burst of laughter.
"The lewd man enters the hall and forcibly plucks the flower," "The flower withers, the bud falls, and the man is withered," Wang Fu answered.
"What a word 'withered'...it's driving Kong Ding crazy...keep going..." The crowd hoped to see the first
person eliminated quickly.
"Withered face comes from the lewd wolf's cruelty," Kong Ding answered steadily in the second round. Kong Ding wanted to tease Sima Xiang, so
he used the word "cruelty" at the end.
"Cruelty is inflicted in the chrysanthemum garden," Sima Xiang answered easily again.
"How deep is the garden?" Wang Kang also passed the third round.
"Xu... what is this 'Xu'?..."
"Clang... the gong sounds."
"This 'Xu'... may the flower wolf enter the brothel!" Zhao Ziwen answered.
"Brothel... cousins all together." Wang Fu answered.
"Gather..." Kong Ding prepared to answer.
"Wait... what is the connection between Wang Fu's answer and 'may the flower wolf enter the brothel'?" Fan Zhongyan asked
.
"Yes... yes... originally there was only one flower wolf, how did cousins appear?" The crowd's questions
rose and fell.
"This... this..." Wang Fu was speechless and at a loss.
Wang Anshi stepped forward and said: "Alright, Wang Fu is eliminated! Kong Ding, take the 'brothel' part."
"Brothel... the sounds of lewdness are constant in the hall..." Kong Ding finished the third round.
"Intermittent cries of pain." Sima Xiang answered quickly.
Wang Kang tilted his head and answered: "The cries of climax are coming..."
"This 'coming'..." Zhao Ziwen was stumped!
(V) The written exam ends and the practical exam begins.
"Clang... the first gong sounds!"
Zhao Ziwen was trapped by Wang Kang's answer, "The climax is coming.
" "Clang... the second gong sounds!"
"This 'coming'... ah... I will never drink the water of forgetfulness until death!" Zhao Ziwen blurted out in a hurry.
"This... this... what is the water of forgetfulness?" The spectators discussed among themselves.
Ouyang Xiu stepped forward and asked Zhao Ziwen in a low voice, "I am well-versed in ancient and modern history, but I have never heard of the water of forgetfulness. May I
ask, Scholar Zhao, what is the origin of this thing?"
Zhao Ziwen replied, "Master, have you ever heard of the water of forgetfulness?"
"I have heard of it." Ouyang Xiu replied.
Zhao Ziwen elaborated: "According to unofficial history, Tang Bohu wanted to woo Qiu Xiang, but was thwarted by the old lady. A friend suggested
that he drink the 'Water of Forgetfulness' to escape the torment of love. Tang Bohu replied, 'The Water of Forgetfulness may make me forget love, but
this sorrow is endless!' His friend said, 'Then use the Water of Oblivion!' It seems that Tang Bohu's friend mistakenly interpreted 'to recite'
as 'to indulge in lust' and was just joking."
"Oh... I've learned something! I've learned something... I'm ignorant and uninformed," Ouyang Xiu politely replied to Zhao Ziwen.
"Then let Scholar Kong Ding answer with the character 'water'.
" "Fire subsides, water recedes, waves calm." Sima Xiang finished his final round.
"Easy... Quietly contemplate the regret of ravaging your sister." Wang Kang also finished his fifth round.
Zhao Ziwen stood up, muttering to himself, "That damn Wang Kang! That damn Wang Kang!... He always tricks me...
This 'ravaging'..." "Clang... The first gong sounds!"
"This... 'ravaging'... It's really difficult... Let me think..."
"Clang... The second gong sounds!"
Zhao Ziwen truly seemed helpless. "Come on... Come on, Young Master Zhao..." Someone in the audience
cheered him on.
"Hmm... This..." Suddenly, Zhao Ziwen seemed to have an inspiration.
"Clang... The third gong sounds..."
"Wait... I've got it..." In the blink of an eye, just as the third gong sounded, Zhao Ziwen shouted that he had it
.
"The lustful heart of ravaging women remains unsettled." Zhao Ziwen answered.
"Wait a minute... what is the meaning of this poem, Scholar Zhao Ziwen?" Ouyang Xiu asked Zhao Ziwen again.
"It doesn't have any special meaning. It's just that Miss Ling's lustful desires haven't been satisfied..." Zhao Ziwen replied with a smile.
"Huh... who is Miss Ling? Right, right, I've never heard of Miss Ling. Where does she live?"
The spectators were again completely confused.
Ouyang Xiu stepped forward again and asked in a low voice, "Scholar Zhao, what allusion did you use to come up with the name 'Ling Nu'?"
"May I ask, sir, since the beginning of this fourth round of the poetry relay, have the main characters always been a man and a woman?" Zhao Ziwen
asked Ouyang Xiu in return.
"Based on the current situation, that is indeed the case, and judging from the reason for Wang Fu's elimination, there are no two men or two women."
Ouyang Xiu replied.
"That's right then. So far, no one has given a name to the female protagonist in our poetry relay poems, so I'll just call her
'Ling Nu'..." It turned out that Zhao Ziwen had made it up himself.
Kong Ding stood up: "How can that be? Why must she be surnamed Lin?"
"Yes, brother, your insight is indeed brilliant. This girl doesn't necessarily have to be surnamed Lin, but since it's a poetry relay game
, the one who names her first should naturally get to do so. No one named her Lin before me, please understand!"
Zhao Ziwen finished speaking and sat down.
Kong Ding touched his nose and said, "Then I'll imitate him... Pingnan is so tired he's lying on the ground... Haha,
I'll also be the first to give the male protagonist the surname 'Ping'..."
"This..." Ouyang Xiu looked at Wang Anshi...
Wang Anshi stepped forward and said to everyone, "Alright, since the five rounds of poetry relay have ended, let's
continue with the fifth round of the written test!"
Wang Anshi announced the commencement of the final written test, which meant he tacitly approved of
the unreasonable answers given by Zhao Ziwen and Kong Ding.
"The fifth round of the written examination is to compose a poem based on a picture. Candidates must
compose a seven-character quatrain based on a picture drawn by the examiner. The poem must be structured around four elements: posture, action, lewd intent, and expression .
Those who fail to meet these requirements, answer after the time limit, fail to answer within the time limit, or give an incomplete answer after the time limit will be eliminated. The time limit is three gongs!" Lü Huiqing explained
the rules of the final round of the written examination.
Lü Huiqing presided over the fifth round. He drew the first candidate's name: "The first is Sima Xiang."
He then drew a picture from another container of paintings. This picture depicted a woman performing oral
sex on a scholar, who looked on with pleasure.
Sima Xiang glanced at it and replied: "Tongue sparkles, yang root tastes, dragging, rubbing, sucking, the woman offers her heart, swallowing the pillar,
the scholar forgets himself, intoxicated with pleasure."
"Good, passed… Next is Wang Kang." Lü Huiqing then drew a picture of a man and woman having sex, the scholar thrusting
into the buttocks of a woman bending over from behind.
"Standing tall and graceful, he enters the rear courtyard, his arms around her waist, pushing her forward wildly. The woman's heart is filled with lustful pleasure, lost in a blissful trance."
Wang Kang successfully answered the question.
"Good...good...good Wang Kang..." Wang Kang's cheerleaders clapped again.
"Next is...Zhao Ziwen!" Lü Huiqing drew a painting of a woman on top of a man in sexual intercourse.
Zhao Ziwen thought for a moment... "The yin sits on the yang, the yang is inserted into the lotus, the golden hook is pulled upside down, the scholar lies in pleasure while the woman rejoices, and
soft moans are uttered." Zhao Ziwen finished answering and sat down.
Kong Ding knew he was the last one, so he stood up, brushed his teeth, and looked at Lü Huiqing. Lü Huiqing drew the last
painting, which depicted a man pressing a woman to the ground. The woman was naked and resisting, and the man
held a corner of her tattered clothes in his hand.
"What...what does this mean?" Kong Ding was stunned.
"This must be rape... No... No... This must be a joke... No, no, it must be a case of drugging and raping but
then forcing it on... Haha..." The onlookers speculated.
"Clang... The first gong sounds!"
Kong Ding still looked suspicious.
"Clang... The second gong sounds!"
Kong Ding scratched his head and said, "The man desires, the woman refuses; the tyrant forces himself on her, his penis thrusting; a pillar reaching the sky, breaking through the clouds;
a torrent of pleasure, leaving the woman with regret."
The examiners looked at each other in dismay. Since there were no major flaws, they had no choice but to let all four pass the written exam. Wang Anshi
stepped forward and announced to everyone, "Having passed the five rounds of the written exam, the four scholars are indeed highly talented and admirable. However, the practical exam will be
strictly evaluated. I hope you will all do your best!"
Wang Anshi's words not only made the four candidates nervous but also demonstrated the difficulty of the practical exam
. The spectators, on the other hand, were all excited because witnessing a live competition of lovemaking would undoubtedly
be the greatest joy of their lives.
(VI) The First Stage of the Skills Examination Tests Composure
Having passed the five stages of the written examination, four of the five candidates for the palace examination passed, demonstrating their literary talent and
learning. However, since this palace examination was for selecting the top scholar in the arts rather than the top scholar in the literature, the requirements for the written examination
were not as rigorous or important. The skills examination was the area where the top scholar in the arts was most proud.
"Dong..." Wang Anshi struck the giant drum in the examination hall again to signal the start of the palace examination and stepped onto the examination platform
.
Wang Anshi picked up the imperial edict, opened it, and read it to the spectators and candidates: "By the Emperor's decree,
four additional specialists have been added to assist in the skills examination for this selection of the top scholar in the arts!" After reading the edict, Wang Anshi returned to the examination hall...
They sat down.
Lü Huiqing then walked up, followed by four women. "Wow...they're fucking beautiful...
I'd be willing to behead them just to have some fun with them!" The spectators, their eyes bulging, couldn't help but
exclaim at the four women's beauty.
"The first examiner is the famous courtesan Yin Ruyan from the capital; the second is
Bai Shuangshuang, the imperial concubine's bedroom arts instructor; the third is Fangzi, a geisha who studied in Japan; and the fourth is..."
"Hmm...the fourth girl is quite shy...I wonder where she's from?...Yeah...yes...she
's wearing a veil...maybe she's from a noble family...a virgin...hahaha..." The spectators
began speculating before Lü Huiqing could finish her introductions.
"It's...the Miao princess Lan Yun..." Lü Huiqing finished her introduction and led the four examiners to their seats.
"So she's a daughter of a Miao official... I heard Miao women are very poisonous... Is that true?... But she's really
beautiful..." The spectators kept commenting on the four beauties.
Lu Huiqing announced from her seat: "The first test is a physical examination of your 'lustful organs.' Each candidate must describe one of their own '
lustful techniques' and the 'lustful organs' they use. Neither technique nor organ can be repeated by previous candidates. The test lasts three hours. Those who
fail within the time limit are eliminated... The competition begins!..."
After Lu Huiqing finished announcing this, she sat down. The assistant examiner, Yin Ruyan, holding her skirt with one hand,
walked up with light, graceful steps, like an immortal.
"Wow... So beautiful..." The spectators exclaimed again.
"The first candidate is Young Master Zhao...!" Ruyan drew the first examination slip.
Zhao Ziwen walked onto the examination platform, gazing at the beautiful Ruyan.
"May I ask what Young Master Zhao's method of 'lustful organs' is?" Ruyan asked Zhao Ziwen.
"It's... Five Fingers Seeking Flowers!"
"Then may I ask, sir, where is your 'root'?"
"Of course, it's your fingers..." After hearing Zhao Ziwen's answer, Ruyan turned around and waved to the timekeeper
to signal the start of the timer.
Before Ruyan could even straighten up, Zhao Ziwen lifted her skirt and squatted down.
"...Hey...you...!" Ruyan was startled by the sudden haste, but remembering that this was a timed
competition, she didn't pursue it further.
"What?...How could this be...?" Zhao Ziwen lifted her skirt and buried his head inside, only to be
stunned by the sight before him.
"Clang...the first gong has sounded..."
"What a famous courtesan of the capital...! Wearing the Seven Star Chastity Undergarments worn by virtuous women in the streets!" Zhao Ziwen
's experience with women allowed him to see through Ruyan's predicament. Through the undergarments, he touched Ruyan's lips with one hand and reached
into his pocket with the other.
"Hehe... Young Master Zhao, you should just give up! Do you even know what I'm wearing?... Hehehe..."
Ruyan laughed contemptuously at Zhao Ziwen.
"Clang... The second gong sounds!" The timekeeper struck the second gong and announced that the time was approaching.
The spectators were completely bewildered. They couldn't see the secret hidden under Ruyan's skirt, only Zhao Ziwen
moving around inside. They could see a slight smile on Ruyan's face.
"Clang... The third gong..."
"Ah... Hmm..." Just as the timekeeper was about to announce the time was up, Ruyan suddenly let out
a lewd "Hmm ah" sound. Her smile instantly turned to surprise, and a blush rose to her face. Her
underpants fell to the ground.
Ruyan panicked and pushed Zhao Ziwen away, taking two steps back, saying, "You... you... how could you... have time to untie
them..."
"What kind of pants are these?... What are they for?" The spectators discussed curiously.
Pushed away from Ruyan's skirt, Zhao Ziwen straightened up and showed everyone his left index finger, saying, "My
'lustful root' has just explored Miss Ruyan's flower bud, the honey on my finger is proof enough! Please examine me, examiners..."
"How could you untie my chastity trousers and explore my flower bud?" Ruyan asked Zhao Ziwen, brushing off her skirt.
"You flatter me...you flatter me! This student used a Persian knife!"
Ruyan then examined the seven-star chastity trousers that had fallen to the ground. The seven knots were intact,
but the entire trousers had been cut into a single piece of cloth from the waist down.
It turned out that this Seven Star Chastity Underpants had seven knots tied on it,
one each on the left and right waists, back, inner and outer sides of the left thigh, and inner and outer sides of the right thigh. Untying it by hand would take half a day, and
cutting it with a regular knife would surely injure the body. Zhao Ziwen, however, carried a Persian
knife, a tool for his amorous desires, and thus managed to tear the pants and explore without anyone noticing.
"Miss Ruyan, did Scholar Zhao use his genitals to explore your flower bud?" Wang Anshi asked.
"This...this...yes!...yes..." Ruyan blushed as she answered Wang Anshi and returned to her seat
. "Good, Zhao Ziwen passes!" "
Thank you, sir..." Zhao Ziwen licked the honey-like substance from his fingers at Ruyan, thanked Wang Anshi, and also returned
to his seat.
"Oh...so it's a chastity underpants!...He was trying to delay Scholar Zhao's problem-solving time..." The crowd suddenly
realized.
Then, Miao princess Lan Yun stepped forward and drew the second lot: "Sima Xiang!"
"Yes...yes!" Sima Xiang walked onto the platform.
Lan Yun, wearing a Miao long dress, leaned towards Sima Xiang. "Your erotic method is...?"
"It's...a tongue that blossoms like a lotus flower..." Sima Xiang answered while looking Lan Yun up and down.
"And your erotic root is...?"
"A tongue..." Sima Xiang suddenly felt that playing with Miao women must be very enjoyable, even though he answered with his tongue,
his robe bulged out.
Lan Yun placed her hands on Sima Xiang's shoulders and whispered to him, "Come on...I've been waiting for you! "
Sima Xiang immediately felt his shoulders being pressed down forcefully, so he squatted down and lifted Lan Yun's
skirt with his hands, slipping inside.
"Eh...what's that smell...? Never mind..." Sima Xiang seemed to sense something was wrong, but he didn't care
much, and his hands moved up Lan Yun's thighs to her waist.
"Clang...the first gong has sounded!"
Lan Yun slightly parted her legs, her hands caressing Sima Xiang's shoulders and back. Sima Xiang
untied the hem of her bodice and slowly pulled Lan Yun's underpants down to her knees.
"Clang... the second gong has sounded!"
Sima Xiang saw Lan Yun's mysterious flower garden; her rosy, delicate, and tightly closed lips resembled budding flowers
. Sima Xiang gently ran his fingers along the crease between her lips.
"Ah... umm..." Lan Yun couldn't help but let out two soft moans.
Sima Xiang felt he had struck gold by encountering such a beautiful and young assistant examiner, but
a strange, alluring fragrance wafted from Lan Yun's flower garden.
"Hey... Sima Xiang, what are you doing?... Don't just enjoy yourself!... There's more to come...
hahaha..." The spectators, unable to see Sima Xiang's actions, urged him on impatiently.
"Ah... umm..." Lan Yun's lust was secretly aroused by Sima Xiang's teasing.
"Ah!...Scent of intoxication..." Just as Sima Xiang stuck out his tongue to lick between Lan Yun's two flower lips, he felt
a tingling sensation on his tongue and fainted, falling off Lan Yun's long skirt and onto the platform.
"Wow...this...this...how could this be..." The spectators were in an uproar.
"Clang...the third gong has sounded!" The timekeeper announced the end of the time.
Lan Yun straightened her clothes and turned to Wang Anshi, saying, "Scholar Sima Xiang's lewd root did not penetrate my flower lips..."
"How did Miss Lan manage to knock out Sima Xiang?" Wang Anshi asked.
"Reporting to Your Excellency, I was wearing scented underpants, and my flower lips were covered in aphrodisiac liquid. Young Master Sima was tempted to linger on my flower lips and
did not dare to penetrate my flower core, so he was knocked unconscious at my feet!"
"Good...good...Scholar Sima Xiang is eliminated!" Wang Anshi turned to Lü Huiqing and said.
Two soldiers walked onto the examination platform and carried the unconscious Sima Xiang away. The spectators were stunned, and the
candidates realized that something was wrong and were speechless.
(VII) A Battle of Lustful Arts
After Sima Xiang was eliminated, the three candidates on the examination platform were naturally this year's top scholar, second-place scholar, and third-place scholar
. The only thing left to compete for was who would be the top scholar.
The third examiner was a geisha girl named Yoshiko who had studied in Japan. She slowly walked onto the platform wearing a kimono.
"Oh no! ...This woman is wearing..." Wang Kang and Kong Ding, who had not yet taken the stage, exclaimed in dismay. Because
neither of them had ever seen a woman wearing a kimono, they naturally had only a vague understanding of kimonos.
"The next one is..." Wang Kang and Kong Ding clasped their hands together and silently chanted Buddhist prayers, of course, hoping that
they would not be chosen!
"It is...Wang Kang..."
"Ah...It's over!" Wang Kang screamed and was pushed onto the examination platform by the cheering crowd.
"Go! Go! Go! Wang Kang!" The cheering squad kept chanting.
Wang Kang bowed to Fangzi and said, "I hope you will be merciful..." "
What is the meaning of Wang Xiucai's 'lust'...?"
"It is... a pillar reaching the sky..."
"What is 'lust root'?"
"The 'lust root' is my penis..." Wang Kang said with a troubled expression, mostly because Fangzi was wearing
a kimono.
Fangzi turned and waved to the timekeeper to start the timer, then turned to Wang Kang, who
stood in front of her, staring intently at her.
"Clang... the first gong has sounded!"
Wang Kang began to unbutton his trousers.
"Wow... so big... yes... yes... truly rare..." The spectators
marveled at the penis revealed after Wang Kang's trousers fell down, while Wang Kang kept rubbing his penis but didn't know how to proceed.
"Hehe... Scholar Wang, you're really ignorant! You've never even tried to take off a Japanese kimono?...Hehe...
hehe..." Fangzi laughed at Wang Kang's bewilderment.
"Clang...the second gong has sounded!"
Wang Kang endured the Japanese woman's mockery and still rubbed his erect penis, which was even larger than before. This
made Fangzi unable to resist suppressing her laughter and arousing her lust.
"I...I'm not...wearing...underwear..." Fangzi whispered intermittently and secretly to Wang Kang,
then slightly spread her legs.
In the blink of an eye, Wang Kang suddenly struck out with a palm, knocking Fangzi unconscious to the ground. This allowed Wang Kang
to easily see the secret under Fangzi's kimono while she was lying still. The spectators
craned their necks to see the spring scenery under Fangzi's skirt. The guards, seeing that things were not going well, wanted to rush onto the stage to stop
Wang Kang, but Wang Anshi waved the soldiers away. Wang Kang, naked from the waist down, climbed onto Fangzi's body.
"You...you...want to force yourself on me...?" Fangzi woke up just in time and questioned Wang
Kang, who
was on top of her. Wang Kang thrust forward...
"Clang...the third gong has sounded!" The soldiers rushed forward and pulled Wang Kang up.
"He...he...he didn't...go in..." Fangzi scrambled to her feet in terror and cried out happily
, while Wang Kang hurriedly pulled his trousers back on.
Wang Anshi looked at Wang Kang: "What do you have to say?"
"No! No!...This student has already explored Fangzi's flower bud!" Wang Kang replied.
"How do you know?" Wang Anshi pressed.
"He's lying...his rod had just entered my flower lips when the time was up and he was pulled away by the soldiers!" Fangzi
vehemently defended her conclusion.
"Reporting to Your Excellency, Fangzi's flower chamber is tight, and to avoid damaging her lips, this student only inserted nectar into her lips
instead of using his rod to explore her flower bud!" Wang Kang answered with a smirk.
"This...this..." Wang Anshi's gaze turned to Fangzi, only to see that a
white, cloudy fluid had seeped from Fangzi's kimono and dripped onto her embroidered shoes.
"Alright...you pass..." Wang Anshi led everyone back to their seats.
"Good...good...good Wang Kang...Wang Kang will surely become the top scholar...hahaha..." The crowd
erupted in another round of commotion.
Then, Bai Shuangshuang, the lecturer on harem matters, stepped forward, and Kong Ding, knowing he was the last examinee, also stood in the examination hall.
"Fortunately, that difficult Japanese courtesan didn't draw me..." Kong Ding looked at Bai Shuangshuang and felt a sense of relief
.
"...Wait...!" Just as Bai Shuangshuang was about to ask a question, Sima Xiang awoke from his slumber and jumped onto the platform.
The examiner called out to the officials in charge of the palace examination, while soldiers drew their weapons and stood guard.
Wang Anshi waved away the guards and approached Sima Xiang: "Scholar Sima, you have been eliminated and disqualified.
Why are you disturbing the competition on stage?"
"Reporting to Your Excellency, I did not lose..." Sima Xiang reported to Wang Anshi with his hands clasped. Fan
Zhongyan couldn't help but step forward and said, "Here we go again. Do you want to try
to revive yourself like Wang Kang did during the civil service examination?"
"No, I did not try to revive myself. It is the truth..." Sima Xiang continued to argue.
"I would like to hear the whole story..." Wang Anshi beckoned to the examiner of the competition, Princess Lan Yun.
"Reporting to Your Excellency, I have already explored the flower bud of Miss Lan Yun!"
"You are talking nonsense... You are lying... Your tongue did not even enter the flower lips. How can you say you explored the flower bud?" Lan
Yun angrily accused Sima Xiang of lying.
"Scholar Sima, listen up! Do you know that the crime of deceiving the emperor is so grave that it can lead to the confiscation of your property and the extermination of your entire clan?" Lü Huiqing jumped out
and questioned Sima Xiang.
"My lewd tongue certainly did not penetrate the flower lips of Miss Lan Yun..."
"Guards... drag Sima Xiang out and punish him for deceiving the emperor..." Lü Huiqing couldn't help but
shout to the soldiers around him.
"Wait... but I have indeed explored the flower bud of Miss Lan Yun!" A slight smile appeared on Sima Xiang's face.
"Could it be that you know some strange and evil arts... hahaha..." Fan Zhongyan couldn't help but laugh and ask.
"Reporting to you, sir, I am not a Taoist sorcerer, but I also used 'shooting'
instead of 'exploring' to protect Miss Lan Yun's lips."
"Shooting? Isn't Scholar Sima known for his 'lotus-like tongue'? Could it be... that your mouth can shoot out nectar?...
hahaha..." Fan Zhongyan laughed again.
"I don't have that ability. I didn't shoot out any nectar, but rather... a single grain of rice..."
"Hahaha... rice... hahaha..." This drew another burst of laughter from the onlookers.
Wang Anshi asked Miss Lan Yun to step back and check if there was any rice left in her flower-like petals, and then asked Sima Xiang to explain the process.
"After I crawled into Miss Lan Yun's skirt, I noticed a strange smell. I thought it was my own bad breath, so I used
my tongue to clean my mouth, hence the grain of rice. Later, when I was licking and kissing Miss Lan's lips, I saw that Miss Lan's heart was blooming
and her flower-like petals were slightly open, so I blew on them, unintentionally blowing the rice into her flower-like petals..."
"Hahaha... what an unintentional act... hahaha..." The onlookers
all laughed heartily upon hearing Sima Xiang's explanation.
Miss Lan Yun returned: "Reporting to you, sir, there is indeed a grain of rice in my flower-like petals!" Lan Yun
reported to Wang Anshi.
"This... this..." Wang Anshi turned to look at Ouyang Xiu.
Ouyang Xiu nodded and said, "Originally there was nothing, so where can dust settle..."
"Alright... Sima Xiang, then reinstate my eligibility to take the exam!" Wang Anshi had no choice but to respect
the opinion of the highly respected Ouyang Xiu.
"Thank you, sir!" Sima Xiang returned to his seat triumphantly.
Bai Shuangshuang continued the competition for the last candidate, the scholar.
"What is Kong Xiucai's method of 'exposing one's genitals'?"
"Exposing one's toes..." Kong Ding answered.
"It should be 'exposing one's horns'!" Bai Shuangshuang corrected Kong Ding.
"Then what is your 'genitals'...?"
"It's... the head..." Kong Ding hesitated for a moment before answering.
"The head...? This... this... is too big... this..." Bai Shuangshuang turned to look at Wang Anshi.
Wang Anshi straightened his clothes and asked Kong Ding, "How does one probe the 'hole' on the head?"
"Oh... sir, you misunderstand. My 'head' does not refer to the head on the neck, but to the tips of the toes..." Kong
Ding explained.
"I see..." Bai Shuangshuang breathed a sigh of relief, then turned and waved to the timekeeper.
As soon as Kong Ding saw Bai Shuangshuang's hand fall, he rushed forward and pinned her to the ground.
"You...you...are you...going to...force me...?" Bai Shuangshuang asked, slightly surprised.
"Clang...the first gong has sounded!"
Kong Ding pulled Bai Shuangshuang's underpants down to her thighs, then flipped her over so her back was exposed.
"You...you...want to...drive on horseback?" Bai Shuangshuang asked again.
Kong Ding still didn't answer, only pulling off his own trousers and fiddling with his penis.
"Clang...the second gong has sounded!"
Seeing that time was running out, Kong Ding thrust forward forcefully...
"Ah...it hurts...ah...what are you doing...ah...you've misjudged the spot..." Bai Shuangshuang
cried out in pain.
"Wow...this woman really knows how to scream..." The spectators erupted in commotion.
Kong Ding continued to thrust forward forcefully, thrust, thrust.
"Ah...it hurts...I'm the examiner...how can you be so rude...ah...ah..." Bai Shuangshuang
cried out.
"Clang...the third gong has sounded..."
Kong Ding continued thrusting, still not satisfied.
"Ah...it hurts...it hurts...soldiers, quickly pull him away...isn't the time up?...it hurts...
ah..."
The soldiers then stepped forward and pulled Kong Ding away, and Bai Shuangshuang stood up weakly and walked back to her seat. "Alright...the first round of the skills test is over, two hours of rest..." After saying this, Lü Huiqing 　　walked out of the examination hall
with the examiners , and saw Bai Shuangshuang leaving with tears streaming down her face. 　　(VIII) The Lustful Test is Difficult to Pass, Every Step Leads to Lust 　　Just as the examiners left their seats, Bai Shuangshuang, the examiner with tears streaming down her face, suddenly ran to the head examiner Wang 　　Anshi and whispered something. 　　Wang Anshi stopped and turned around, shouting, "Wait a minute, leave!" 　　The candidates and onlookers who were about to leave all stopped in their tracks. Wang Anshi walked towards Kong Ding. 　　"What was the meaning of your lewd talk just now, Scholar Kong?" Wang Anshi asked seriously. 　　"This... well... it's..." Kong Ding was puzzled by Wang Anshi's question and dared not answer directly. 　　Wang Anshi moved closer to Kong Ding: "It was... showing your true colors, wasn't it?" 　　"This... yes... yes!" Kong Ding answered hesitantly. 　　"May I ask what you mean by 'head'?" Wang Anshi pressed. 　　"This... this... this..." Kong Ding still dared not answer directly.

"You meant 'the head beneath your feet' during the competition, not 'the head on your neck' or 'the fleshy head between your legs,' right?" Wang Anshi
answered for Kong Ding.
"Yes...yes...yes!" Kong Ding began to understand Wang Anshi's question.
Wang Anshi waved to summon soldiers and then said to Kong Ding, "You actually used your fleshy head between your legs to directly penetrate Bai Shuangshuang
's anus. Shouldn't that be considered a failure?"
"Yes...yes...Kong Ding didn't follow the rules of lewdness...he should be eliminated...he should be eliminated..." The spectators
erupted in an uproar. Everyone then realized that Kong Ding hadn't used his toes, but had forcibly
inserted his penis into Bai Shuangshuang's anus. The soldiers were about to step forward and drag Kong Ding away from the examination hall when Kong Ding cupped his hands and said to Wang Anshi
, "This student did not violate the rules of lewdness he set for himself!"
Wang Anshi waved his hand to stop the soldiers and asked Kong Ding, "How do you know?"
"Your Excellency," Kong Ding said, "my lewd act is 'exposing my feet.' Although I later inserted my penis into Miss Bai's anus
, my feet remained naked and exposed in the examination hall. Doesn't that constitute 'exposing my feet'?"
After Kong Ding finished speaking, the assistant examiner Bai Shuangshuang cried even louder and ran out of the examination hall. Wang Anshi waved to Kong Ding
to indicate his agreement with Kong Ding's answer, and then left the examination hall with the other examiners, leaving behind only a group of onlookers
whispering and laughing.
"Dong..." The giant drum in the examination hall sounded again. Two hours passed quickly. Lü Huiqing
stepped forward again and said, "The second test of skills is 'Martial Arts Conquest of the Beautiful Woman.' Each candidate must use various
methods to 'conquer' the body of the examiner's assistant within three gong-hours. The examiner can use martial arts to resist. Those who fail to 'conquer' within the time limit will be eliminated."
The examiner, Miao princess Lan Yun, stepped into the examination hall to draw the name of the first candidate for this test. All four
candidates were trembling with fear, afraid of being chosen.
"The first one is... is... Wang Kang."
"Wow... I'm done for... I'm really done for this time..." Wang Kang muttered indignantly.
"Hey... don't worry, good people are always blessed... haha..." The cheering squad said as they pushed Wang Kang
onto the examination platform.
"Please come in!..." Lan Yun said and suddenly leaped up, flying to the giant
drum, which was about two people's height above the ground of the examination hall.
After landing, Lan Yun spread her hands and chuckled at Wang Kang, who was looking up at her, saying, "Phoenix Dance on the Drum... How was it?"
Wang Kang was dumbfounded. He knew his martial arts were inferior to Lan Yun's, and fearing she was a master of poison, he dared not pursue her
. So, he devised a plan and bent down.
"Hehe... If you admit defeat, you admit defeat. There's no need for bowing..." Lan Yun laughed even more happily.
Wang Kang then bent down, his right hand tightly clenched but held high, saying, "Miss Lan... this must be one of your personal
belongings, right? It fell on the ground..."
"What fell?" Lan Yun couldn't see clearly because she was too far away on the drum.
Wang Kang lowered his right hand and deliberately said loudly, "Alright, since no one's around, you can keep it yourself!
" "Wait... wait... let me see..." Lan Yun hurriedly jumped down from the drum.
"Clang... the first gong has sounded!" The timekeeper struck the first gong.
Just as Lan Yun flew to Wang Kang to see what he was clutching, Wang Kang swiftly struck
two pressure points on her, rendering her immobile.
"...You...you...what is this...?" Lan Yun realized she had been acupunctured.
"Haha...my hands are completely empty. I know my martial arts are inferior to yours, Miss Lan Yun, so
please forgive this despicable tactic!" Wang Kang finished speaking and began to unbutton Lan Yun's clothes.
He loosened the sash of her long skirt, which fell to her feet,
revealing floral-trimmed underpants and a pair of bronze-colored legs. Wang Kang's mouth approached the base of her thighs...
"Ah...you...you...lecherous scoundrel...go ahead and do it...don't seduce this lady..." Lan Yun
's Miao nature was immediately revealed by Wang Kang's rudeness.
Wang Kang's wolfish mouth sucked upwards from the base of her thighs to the flower lips outside her underpants, his intoxicated expression telling
everyone that he was enjoying a top-class beauty from Miao territory.
"Clang... the second gong has sounded."
Wang Kang's hands began to undo Lan Yun's underpants, and a strange fragrance wafted into his nostrils.
"Ah... Oh no!..." Wang Kang remembered that Sima Xiang had been affected by Lan Yun's Miao-style aphrodisiac in the previous round of the competition
, so he immediately turned around and covered his mouth and nose with his clothes.
"Hehehe... Afraid of this girl now... Next time you meet me, I'll use a Gu poison to entangle you... Hehehe
..." Seeing that Wang Kang could not succeed, Lan Yun couldn't help but laugh repeatedly.
Wang Kang turned around and stood there for a while. He thought that Lan Yun's flower hole must have aphrodisiac fluid, and her anus might also have it. If he dared to
enter the forbidden area, he might die without a burial place. So he steeled his heart, turned around, and grabbed Lan Yun's feet.
"Thump!" Lan Yun lost her support and collapsed to the ground.
"Ouch!... You scoundrel... It hurts... I'm the examiner... How dare you... hurt me...?" Lan Yun
cursed angrily. "I wouldn't dare! I wouldn't dare! I just wanted to borrow your beautiful mouth for a moment..." Wang Kang quickly unbuttoned his trousers and pulled out
his limp penis, aiming it straight at Lan Yun's mouth.
"You... you... you shameless..." Lan Yun's mouth definitely didn't have any aphrodisiac, but Wang Kang had seen through it.
Wang Kang grabbed Lan Yun's chin and forced her to open her mouth. Calculating that the time was approaching, Wang Kang didn't care about his
still limp penis and shoved it into Lan Yun's mouth.
"Ah... no... no... um... um... you... no... um... good... die..." Lan
Yun was forced to hold Wang Kang's penis in her mouth but still kept cursing. The audience below the stage was enjoying themselves.
"Clang... the third gong has sounded."
"Um... um... it's time... um... time... is... time..." Lan Yun urged Wang Kang to quickly
pull his penis out of her mouth.
Wang Kang refused to withdraw his engorged penis, so he intensified his thrusting. Wang Anshi waved for soldiers
to come and finally free the lustful Wang Kang.
"You damned scoundrel...aren't you going to release my pressure points?" Lan Yun was still unable to move her limbs.
"Hahaha...we just released the pressure points above...where else are we going to release?...Hahaha..." The onlookers
mocked.
Wang Kang put his cloth trousers back on and walked towards Lan Yun, who was being supported by two soldiers. He said to Lan Yun,
"Do you want me to release your pressure points?"
"Nonsense! Quickly release these pressure points for this lady..." Lan Yun was furious.
Wang Kang reached his hand to Lan Yun's vulva through her underpants and gently touched it.
"Ah... um... you... you... how dare you... the competition is over... stop it..." Lan
Yun protested incessantly.
"Didn't you want me to release your pressure points? Don't you know that the release point for the 'stopping acupoint' is at the entrance of the vulva?" Wang Kang
continued to caress Lan Yun's vulva with righteous indignation, especially since the beautiful woman was being supported by soldiers.
Wang Anshi stood up, and Wang Kang, afraid of angering the examiner, had no choice but to move his hand to Lan Yun's chest and lightly tap it twice
.
"Slap... slap..." The moment the 'stopping acupoint' was released, Lan Yun slapped Wang Kang twice. She picked up her floral
skirt and angrily walked back to her seat.
Wang Kang, rubbing his cheek, walked back to his seat with amusement, earning applause and laughter from the spectators.
"Good, Wang Kang passes!" Lü Huiqing announced to the crowd.
Then, the assistant examiner, Yin Ruyan, once again walked up with light, graceful steps, like an immortal: "Next is... Kong Ding!"
"Wow... she's so beautiful, no wonder she's a famous courtesan of the capital!" A chorus of exclamations came from the crowd.
"Here!" Kong Ding confidently stepped onto the platform. He wasn't afraid of martial arts, only of poison. Since Lan Yun had been dealt with by Wang Kang,
there was nothing to fear.
"Please..." Ruyan finished speaking and stood still, waiting for Kong Ding's move.
"This...this young lady is a courtesan from the capital, she must not have any martial arts skills! Let's just go for it..." Kong Ding
chuckled to himself and walked towards Ru Yan. His eyes were fixed on Ru Yan's ample breasts, and he couldn't resist suddenly reaching out
to grab them forcefully. Ru Yan vanished in an instant, and Kong Ding's hands grasped nothing.
Suddenly, he felt someone patting his shoulder from behind. He guessed that Ru Yan had turned and run behind him.
Kong Ding turned around and grabbed again, only to hear a gasp from the spectators, for his hands had once again grasped nothing
.
"Clang...the first gong has sounded."
Ru Yan suddenly reappeared in the examiner's seat, laughing, "Hehehe...Scholar Kong, have you ever heard of the Lingbo
Weibu (a martial arts technique)?...Hehehe...This young lady truly knows no martial arts, only this one escape skill. I'll wait for you to
ravage me...Hehehe..." 　　Kong
Ding was dumbfounded, speechless for a long time.

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