[Afterlife]

The city was shrouded in a gray haze, with buzzing pigeons flying overhead, as if rain was imminent or

a sandstorm .
The streets were sparsely populated; in my memory, it seemed like this every day. Perhaps my eyes

were gray, so I could never see the sunlight. Turning the corner was my company;

I always walked slowly before going up. I didn't like going in and seeing faces devoid of emotion or tension; perhaps they

saw me that way too.
The company building stood there, seemingly more lonely than I was. Just then, my heart leaped into

my throat . I saw a huge flowerpot fall from an unknown height, landing

right on a long-haired girl. It was about to hit her head! I was too scared to look,

but I kept my eyes wide open and shouted, "Watch out, from above!"
Whether she was lucky or had practiced some kind of acrobatic technique, the flowerpot, which was supposed to hit her,

shattered right beside her.
She glanced at the broken flowerpot, her face pale, as if she hadn't quite recovered from the shock.
I walked over and tentatively spoke to her, "Miss, were you hurt?" She looked up at me,

her eyes so cold yet exceptionally beautiful—a glance I'll remember for a lifetime.
She pulled up the collar of her trench coat to cover her ears and walked past me as if nothing had happened,

only shaking her head slightly before she left, a firm shake of her head. She brushed past me; to borrow

a phrase from Wong Kar-wai, we were only 0.01 centimeters apart at our closest. But what I didn't expect was that a few

hours later, I truly fell in love with this woman
. Watching her receding figure, I felt a pang of resentment. I'd never seen such an ungrateful person. She walked

so lightly, as if her body had no weight at all; it was less like a person walking and more like a soul

drifting.
I shook my head helplessly. Suddenly, my phone rang. I looked; it was my boss, Fatty Li. I've been with him

for three years. Three skills made me his top confidant: flattery, bootlicking, and a perfect blend of both

.
These three skills are more effective than anything I learned in college. I truly regret wasting so much of my youth.

Fatty Li is no different from any other boss, with a big belly, in his fifties, and

as . I don't know how he got to where he is, but I know he's influential in this city.
My name is even more vulgar than his; everyone calls me Little Li, just Little Li, no throwing knives. I'm

an orphan, and surviving this long is a blessing. I used to be insecure and withdrawn, but I discovered

that to live well, you have to be shameless. I did it. For an orphan, there's nothing you

ca . Everything I do has a simple purpose: to survive, nothing more.
I'm dressed in a suit and tie now, but if you asked me to kneel down and beg for food, I could do it right away without

the slightest embarrassment. Ask me to sleep with an old woman right now, and I'd strip naked immediately. You can

despise me, but let me tell you, when you have nothing, you might still have a little self-respect.

But when you go from nothing to having a lot, you'll do anything to prevent it from falling apart again. I don't

believe in anything—love, faith, ideals, etc. I only believe that money is the only truth.
Fatty Li spoke in his usual way, unchanged for the past three years. "Little Li, where are you?

If you're at the door, don't come up.
" I smiled coldly. Looks like today's going out for a meal, gambling, or maybe a prostitute. I often go with him

for free—eating, gambling, and whoring—I treat it like work.
"Okay, boss, I'll wait for you downstairs," I replied.
"Okay, if the driver comes, you can go up first. Hehe, let's have something light today." I hung up the phone,

still not understanding what "light" meant. Whatever, I'm in this world anyway. Driver Zhang drove

up, opened the door for me, and greeted me familiarly.
"Good morning, Xiao Li. Going out with the boss again today?" "Yeah, he told me to wait for him. When he got out, Fatty Li's belly

was bigger than any pregnant woman's, and what puzzled me most was that he always wore his belt very tightly,

as if that would make his belly smaller. Humans are really strange creatures sometimes.
" "Boss, you look especially radiant today!" I said with a smile.
"Really?" He burst into laughter, fixing his hair in the rearview mirror, looking quite pleased.
The back seat was originally for three people, but the two of us had just enough space. I'm not fat;

someone like me couldn't possibly be fat, because my sense of crisis is unlike most people.
Fatty Li stretched, took off his glasses, and the two holes beneath them were lifeless, like

two dried-up springs.
He immediately put his glasses back on, revealing an extremely lewd smile, and whispered, "Got two young girls today,

art school girls." He sounded like he was drooling, and his belly, bulging from his belt, almost fell onto

the car. "Really? Boss, a threesome? Or maybe we each got one?" I asked with a laugh. "We're pretty familiar with each other, we've

done this kind of thing plenty of times. We're from the same clan, hehehehe." His laugh was extremely lewd, so I had

to laugh even more lewdly—it was part of the job.
"Okay, boss, you choose first. I want the leftovers, or you can go first. I haven't played with younger girls in ages, so

you'd better be polite to them and not embarrass me, hahaha."
He even gave me instructions. How could anyone see us laughing like that? It was like two wolves, one old and one young, were about to

seduce two little lambs. To be honest, I've slept with all sorts of women over the years, but this was my first time with a fifteen or

sixteen-year-old girl. The car arrived at our familiar hotel, practically Fatty Li and I'd

have a second home.
The two girls were already waiting inside. When we entered, their eyes all fell

on me. Their stares made this grown man a little embarrassed, and he quickly

looked . Are all girls this fierce these days? Fatty Li walked over with a big smile, saying,

"Good morning, beauties! Don't you have class today?"
He even put on this air of superiority. I wonder how long he can keep it up!
"Mr. Li, hello, my name is Cheng Yu, and this is Yang Xue. We don't have class today,"

said the slightly taller girl.
I looked at the two girls closely. Cheng Yu was about 1.7 meters tall, with small but

alluring eyes—the kind of girl Fatty Li liked. He got particularly excited when riding on long-legged beauties, probably as

revenge for his physical imperfections.
Yang Xue had large eyes, an oval face, and a pointed chin—an absolute beauty. Her gaze was quite innocent, and it

kept lingering on me, barely glancing at Fatty Li.
"Cheng Yu, what a great name! It sounds like an idiom. Little Li, say a few idioms to cheer us

up and break the awkward silence, haha!"
I was furious. This vulgar person's sense of humor was so incredibly vulgar, but I had to play along.
I immediately put on a fake smile, "Miss Cheng Yu is truly as beautiful as an angel, a beauty that could topple kingdoms! Boss, what do you say?"
"Yes, yes, of course! Well said, well said, haha."
Fatty Li's smile was like a bloated steamed bun, truly disgusting.
The two girls were beaming. Yang Xue said, "Mr. Li, is he your assistant? He's so handsome, he

could be in a movie."
"Really?"
Fatty Li's voice changed slightly; how could that escape my ears!
I quickly said, "Miss Yang Xue, what's the use of a man being handsome? All that's inside is out. The most

important is cultivation, depth, and presence. Someone like our Mr. Li, even sitting there without saying a word,

can attract everyone's attention."
As I spoke, I winked at the two girls a few times. Yang Xue was still blank, but Cheng Yu immediately reacted.
"Exactly, someone like Mr. Li is a real man, he looks very cultured.
" "Well, well, it's a matter of opinion. Although everyone says that, I don't really think so, haha."
Fatty Li immediately perked up again, and I breathed a sigh of relief. That girl named Cheng Yu really

understood things instantly.
Some fruit and drinks were served, and everyone ate and chatted.
It turned out that Yang Xue was actually a year older than Cheng Yu, she was 17, while Cheng Yu was only 16, but Cheng Yu looked

much more mature than Yang Xue. You can't judge a book by its cover, especially women.
Cheng Yu studied dance, and Yang Xue studied piano. According to them, they were both top students in school

. I believe that; I was a first-class scholarship student every year in school too. It wasn't that I was ambitious, it's just that I was poor.

Poor people have to find ways to make a living, and now I'm in the same boat.
Fatty Li, having had a few drinks, immediately started getting restless, rubbing against Cheng Yu's thigh.

Seeing this, I said to Yang Xue, "Let's go inside and play cards."
Yang Xue immediately smiled and agreed. I glanced at Fatty Li, exchanging a knowing, mischievous look—partly

to inform him, and partly to ask if I could take this woman away. He nodded with the same wicked grin. I put my arm around Yang Xue

's shoulder and headed towards the bedroom, glancing back at Fatty Li; his hand was already inside Cheng Yu's skirt.
After entering the bedroom, I said to Yang Xue, "Shall we watch a show?"
Yang Xue blushed and said, "Okay."
We secretly glanced into the living room. Something was blocking the view, so we couldn't see very clearly, but

Fatty Li's enormous belly was impossible to hide. Cheng Yu was already kneeling on the floor, seemingly having something

under in his mouth. I said to Yang Xue, "When our boss urinates, he can't see his

little brother."
Yang Xue's flushed face flickered with a hint of doubt, then she immediately giggled and replied, "Is it because his belly

is too big , hehe."
I smiled mysteriously and answered, "You're half right. There's another reason: his little brother is too small."
We secretly laughed for a while, then naturally kissed, like a couple in love. Yang Xue was completely absorbed

in the moment.
She seemed to have forgotten she was a prostitute, adept at creating a romantic atmosphere—probably one of my strengths.
I gently undressed her, and before she knew it, she was a naked little lamb.
Her skin was beautiful, her breasts small but full, round, and firm, her pubic hair sparse yet soft. Of all

the women I've been with, she was definitely top-tier.
Her kissing technique wasn't particularly skillful; she probably didn't frequent the sex scene, and likely

hadn't had sex many times.
"Oh, so good, so good, oh…" Fatty Li's shrill, almost effeminate scream rang out.
I carried Yang Xue to the bed, kneading her breasts and caressing her cute little bottom.
She closed her eyes, like a young girl surrendering her body to her lover, a gesture that stirred a pang of

tenderness .
I parted her legs; her opening and closing vulva exuded youthful energy, pink and glistening, with a few

drops of vaginal fluid still glistening.
When I'm having fun, I never give oral sex; I believe that going out is about

having fun .
But this time, I had this urge. Her vagina looked like a cute little dessert; it must taste good.
I licked her vulva with my tongue, sometimes licking it, sometimes stirring it inside, sometimes

sucking .
I didn't know any advanced techniques; I just went with the flow. She started moaning, her legs slightly

pulled back , her knees pressed together, looking both enjoying it and a little nervous.
As my movements quickened, her juices flowed like a spring, a ray of sunlight shining on them,

momentarily dazzling my eyes.
I abandoned my plan to have her give me oral sex; her glistening vulva was too alluring.
I simply pulled out my penis and slowly inserted it, without even taking off my clothes.
She let out a soft moan; her slightly tense body didn't pose much of an obstacle to my penis. Watching my penis being enveloped by her lovely vulva, the feeling was truly wonderful; for the first time, I experienced pleasure beyond
physical sensations . I slowly thrust in and out, enjoying the process of my penis going in and out. From that moment on, my view of women gradually changed.

Her soft moans were nothing compared to Cheng Yu's wild, unrestrained cries outside.
"Ah...ah...ah..." I didn't find it monotonous; in fact, I felt a slight pang of guilt.
A person's emotions change every second.
Suddenly, her body trembled, and waves of vaginal fluid hit my glans. My glans tightened, and I

ejaculated I had never felt so good before. I gripped her legs tightly, savoring this moment of ecstasy.
"Fuck...me...to...die...big...cock...brother...dear...

husband...Mr...Li...Uncle..."
Cheng Yu outside called out seven or eight names in one breath, making us, panting on the bed, laugh. "The one outside is much better than you. A true heroine!" I said with a laugh; I guess I've gotten into a habit of
flattery . "Almost all the girls in the dance department are like that, not a single one is good," Yang Xue said. "And what about you? You're just as bad." I playfully pinched her cute little nose. "No way! Not many of us from the piano department go into it, it's about half and half, unlike the dance department, where it's basically all professional. " "Do many people from your school go into it?" I asked. "Yeah, quite a few. Actually, it's just this environment. I didn't really want to come out, but what they eat, use, and do is just..." "Comparison is the thief of joy, isn't it?" "Yeah, at first it was okay, but then seeing how they acted, like princesses, everyone knows they got there by serving others like bitches. But I still felt jealous and envious. You don't know, girls are much more competitive than you men." "I believe that. Beautiful women are natural enemies. But does everyone who comes out have connections ?" "Hehe, of course. And some people even introduce me to jobs. My classmates often introduce me to work, and I've done a few." "So, there aren't any who remain chaste?" "There are, but very few. In this environment, I initially despised it, but I still did it. It's nothing, everyone's the same. In this world, who's more noble than whom? " She repeated "in this environment" twice. I understood; regardless of whether truth lies in the hands of a minority, the standard is still determined by the majority. Outside, the moans continued. Yang Xue laughed and said, "I didn't realize your boss was so persistent." "He's on drugs, otherwise he probably wouldn't be able to get an erection," I replied. She nodded knowingly, her small hand grasping my now-active penis, and said, "Youth is wonderful." I rolled over and pinned her beneath me, repeating her words with a wicked grin: "Youth is wonderful. For our youth , let's do it again." Yang Xue blinked happily and said, "Okay, long live youth!" My penis, already throbbing with life, plunged into that still-flowing, semen-filled vagina, and after another fierce battle, another experience. During the break, Cheng Yu even danced a bit; her figure was truly amazing. Yang Xue played the piano , and watching her skillful fingers fly across the keys, I was almost in awe—she's a real talent. Two hours later, the four of us emerged, impeccably dressed: an older man and a younger woman, both in suits and ties, and two beautiful young girls. Who knows what we'd been up to! Yang Xue even held my hand, reluctantly leaving. I felt quite proud. Fatty Li looked exhausted, walking with a swaying gait. And wouldn't you know it, a plump , and Fatty Li's face immediately contorted. "Old Li, what are you doing here?" The woman spoke as she approached. It was none other than Fatty Li's wife, the super- shrew Liu Honghua. It's said that Fatty Li rose to power because of this woman; Liu Honghua's father was formerly the deputy mayor of this city. I sensed something was wrong. Anyone coming out of a hotel couldn't be doing anything good. A thought struck me, and I burst out cursing , "Fuck him! Fine, don't sign then! Look at him, acting like nobody's begging him! " Fatty Li looked at me, then immediately patted my shoulder with a smile, saying, "Young man, this kind of thing happens all the time in business. Remember this: persistence pays off." Liu Honghua also smiled and said, "Little Li, you usually seem so honest and unassuming, but I didn't expect you to have such a temper. That's normal; your Uncle Li suffered a lot when he was young." I nodded, looking at her gratefully, and said, "Aunt Liu is right, but what happened today was truly infuriating. I've never met anyone like this before." Liu Honghua looked at Fatty Li, who immediately fabricated a baseless business deal. True to his seasoned experience, his fabrication was flawless. "Xiao Li, don't be angry. You don't need to come to work this afternoon. Take a break. There's nothing much going on at work anyway. Don't be late tomorrow !" I knew this was my boss's reward. I said, "Thank you, boss. Aunt Liu, I'll be going now." They both hummed in agreement. I turned at the nearest corner. The sky was still gray and lifeless, like a dead fish. There were only a few pedestrians, and the streets were deserted. I let out a sigh of relief, feeling quite satisfied with my acting skills. At the same time, a sense of exhaustion replaced everything. Not fatigue, but a weariness of the heart. I often feel this way, but today it felt especially real. Day after day, what am I doing this for? I took out a cigarette, lit it, and looked at the sky. I may never find the answer. Why am I still thinking about this pointless question? Right now, I just want to find a place to sit for a while. I searched for a place to rest like someone having a heart attack looking for a lifeline. Every time this happens, I just need to find a place to rest for a while and I'm fine. As I walked, I found a bench with someone sitting on it. The figure looked familiar. When I got closer, I remembered—wasn't that the girl who almost died this morning?

She sat on the bench, her ears still covered by her trench coat, hands in her pockets, her gaze vacant. I strongly

suspected she was either heartbroken or had been dumped; it didn't really matter.
I waved my hand in front of her face, tentatively asking, "Are you alright? Do you remember me? The one

who greeted you this morning."
She still ignored me. I sat down beside her, bored, and suddenly a chill ran through me.
I glanced at her again; her eyes were still so cold. It was best not to bother with someone like that;

I'd be in trouble if she went mad. I wanted to leave, but seeing no other seats nearby, I deliberately sat a little

further away.
We sat there like that. Just as I was about to leave, she suddenly spoke, "Have you ever died

?"
She asked me, and the look in her eyes sent a chill down my spine.
"Yes," I replied.
"Really?"
Her appearance suddenly made my heart ache. I wondered who was such a bastard to abandon this fragile and beautiful

girl .
"I've lived a life of debauchery." I chuckled to myself, knowing she wouldn't react; consider it a

lame joke to myself.
But unexpectedly, she actually managed a smile, though only a tiny one, yet it was beautiful and breathtaking enough to make

my heart skip a beat.
"What's wrong? Did something upset you? Would you mind telling me?"
"I was dumped!"
She burst into tears. See? I told you so; I was very satisfied with my guess.
"I was dumped too. You get used to being dumped after a while," I said.
She looked at me with disbelief, exclaiming in surprise, "Doesn't your heart ache? Don't you have a heart?"
I pointed to my heart and said, "You're asking about this? Yes, I do, but it only sustains

life, it doesn't care about joy or sorrow. For me, there are things bigger than heartbreak, like survival!"
She was drawn in by my words, looking me up and down. "You seem to be doing quite well." "
It seems so. I'm 25 this year. If I had to describe my life before in one word, I think 'resilient' would be more

fitting . And for the next 25, I'd define it as 'hypocritical.' Haven't you experienced society? That's life."
She shook her head, saying, "I'm still a university student, I don't understand many things. For me, losing a lover

is like the sky falling."
I smiled dismissively and recounted my past experiences to her,

without .
As she listened, her body trembled, and her eyes changed, becoming so gentle.
She suddenly reached out and touched my face, but I didn't feel it was abrupt at all.
"You're so pitiful, I really can't believe it."
"That's why you shouldn't dwell on heartbreak. Out with the old, in with the new," I said with a smile.
Her eyes lit up, and she nodded vigorously, saying firmly, "Yes, you're

right. How come I didn't know that before? I'm such a fool."
I saw that she seemed to be getting better; the weariness had somehow disappeared, which was strange, and I felt

a warm glow inside.
"So, you know, we only live once, there's no afterlife, so why not be happy? The wise find joy in themselves,

the mediocre find only sorrow."
She seemed to be savoring my words, her innocent

expression like that of a five-year-old girl trying to understand the meaning of honesty.
"Does it really mean there's no afterlife? Do you believe in ghosts?" Her eyes were misty; she

seemed to understand nothing.
I said, "Only monks believe in the afterlife, right? Ghosts, maybe they exist, but as long as they don't bother me, that's fine."
She laughed and said, "Then you're wrong, I am a ghost!"
Just then, it suddenly started raining, as if it had been brewing for too long, so it came unusually fast.
"Hurry up," I said, grabbing her hand and looking for shelter. Her hand was icy cold; it felt like I

was holding a block of ice.
When we reached a shelter, I was panting heavily. She just smiled at me,

without any reaction.
I was puzzled. How could she not even be red-faced or out of breath after running so far
? "Are you a long-distance runner?" I asked, still panting.
She just smiled, without answering. I knew she was. I had just said that appearances can be deceiving; this seemingly frail

woman was probably quite the athlete.
She watched the raindrops fall, reached out to catch them, and the gesture, combined with her face, her eyes, and her

expression , was simply breathtaking. I secretly took out my phone and snapped a picture. Then I quietly put my phone

back, as if nothing had happened.
I smiled smugly, just as she turned around and caught my gaze. She raised an eyebrow and asked, "

What ? Are you laughing at me?"
"No, why would I?"
"I was saying there's a couple kissing under that big tree over there, a couple fighting by the phone booth behind

, seven cars waiting at the gas station, and a man and two women playing cards in the shop across the street."
I gave her a sly smile. This little girl has quite the imagination. Just you wait! I

ran into the rain, reached the big tree, and sure enough, there was a young couple kissing passionately, oblivious to my presence.
I checked my angle; I thought I could probably see a bit. I ran along the road to the gas station.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, God!"
"Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, God!"
Before I even reached the phone booth, a heated argument erupted.
"The child's all grown up, Fang, don't make a scene. Think about the bigger picture."
"The bigger picture, the bigger picture? I'll go out and fool around, and you'll see me think about the bigger picture then! Men, not a single one of them is

any good!"
I was completely bewildered. What was going on? Was this some kind of sixth sense?
I didn't want to check the last item anymore; I only came to this shop to buy two bottles of water.
I pushed open the door and saw the shop owner with a note stuck to her face and a deck of cards in her hand.
I almost fainted and turned to walk back.
"Sir, what would you like to buy? Hey, sir..." the shop owner called after me.
Seeing me return looking so dejected, her smile widened.
I plopped down on the steps, staring at her with the most incredulous look.
"Master, do you really have superpowers?" I said, almost crying.
She giggled, like a wind chime ringing in the rain.
"I know everything within a ten-meter radius. Haha, just kidding. I saw it on my way here, and

I also glanced at the shop when it opened, hahaha."
Now I'm starting to doubt her explanation. "What about the cars at the gas station? It's impossible

for them all to have left and come back for so long?"
"It's possible that one car left and another was replaced, so the number is the same as before

. It's entirely possible." Thinking about it, it makes sense.
There are no superpowers in this world, and if there were, I wouldn't have encountered them. Looking at her

grinning face, she seemed completely different.
I saw a piece of ice melting, or perhaps it wasn't ice at all.
It was a fire, its blue flames dancing a bright tune in my eyes.
My mood calmed down. This little brat, she really fooled me. Women are definitely not

judged by appearances ; this is the third time she's reminded me today. Just now I was lecturing her like an adult, and now I'm

so embarrassed.
"Hey, there are probably no real experts in this world. I overestimated you."
"No, I think you are an expert." She was still smiling.
"I'm just an ordinary person, like anyone else walking around on the street. I'll never preach or advise others again

; I can't even do it myself."
"Don't misunderstand, I'm genuinely praising you. You know far more than I do."
I looked at her helplessly. Her eyes were pure and bright; the world reflected in them must have been

pristine . In her eyes, I saw the image of sunshine.
"Perhaps our educations are different. You learned everything from books, while I was shaped by society. I

probably don't understand romance, and you don't understand the cutthroat world of society."
"You're right, very right, absolutely right. If there's an afterlife, I want to understand society sooner

. There's definitely something wrong with the current education system."
She said thoughtfully. I thought she was right. The current closed-off social education and

traditional family values in China are a bit outdated. But it's none of my business now; I don't have children yet.
"Tell me about your boyfriend. Why did he leave you?" I asked.
"Simply put, he got bored with the old and wanted something new," she replied.
"Then is it worth it to be heartbroken and walk around the streets like that? You almost died in an accident."
"That's true. If only people could calculate gains and losses before deciding whether to be heartbroken. But I can't.

Who can? Can you?"
Can I? If I said I could, why am I so often exhausted? Haven't I already figured these things out

?
Emotions are truly a mysterious thing; you can't see them, you can't touch them, you can't understand them, yet you can't live without them.
"No, I'm just an ordinary person too, but you seem so relaxed now."
"Because I discovered there are people who are much worse off than me, so I feel more balanced. Thank you!"
I couldn't help but smile wryly. Offering comfort to someone with my own scars is a kind act, I suppose.
"You're welcome, I'm inherently kind."
"Why the 'inherently' part?"
"Because there are many things you don't understand. Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?"
"Don't try to be profound. Give me your name. I don't believe in that 'why bother with past acquaintances' nonsense."
Are all modern young people this individualistic? She's so adorable when she's back to her true self.
"Li Xiang, Li Xiang without ideals, you can call me Little Li, Little Li Brother is the best."
"Little Li Flying Dagger, huh? Hehe. My name is Xiao Fan, Little Li as in 'Xiao', and Fan as in 'ordinary.' My online name is cool,

it's 'Fire vs. Gentle Rose.'"
I reached out and said, "Nice to meet you, today is a romantic day."
She placed her hand in mine, smiling, and said, "Holding hands always happens on rainy days, let's

break that sad law together, okay?"
She held my hand tightly, though it was still so cold, my heart was so warm.
I really wanted to rush into the rain, strip naked, and scream to let it all out.
To release this feeling of happiness, a feeling I hadn't experienced in over twenty years.
I also wanted to cry my heart out, cry to the past, cry to myself, having lived in a daze for so long, finally seeing

a glimmer of hope.
"Okay, why not?" The rain gradually intensified, the continuous raindrops like a lovely curtain, sheltering

us inside.
"Sing me a song!" she said.
"Hmm, in this weather, I'll sing you 'Cloudy Day.'"
"Hehe, that's difficult, a cross-dressing performance."
"I have a trick; my male version of 'Cloudy Day' is even better than the original."
I prepared a little, and to be honest, I was a bit nervous, but I was

confident in my signature song.
"Cloudy day in a dark room, as all thoughts settle little by little, is love a spiritual opium

or a pointless pastime at the end of the century? Cigarette smoke forms a halo, and his photo is right beside me, the two of us

smiling so sweetly."
She listened intently, and I stopped, smiling as I asked her, "How was it?"
She gave me a thumbs up, praising, "It's amazing! How did you imitate it so well?"
"Eight words: breathless, hysterical."
She savored it, looking somewhat confused. This was her most charming performance; not only was it cute, but it also...

Satisfying my vanity.
??? "On a cloudy day in an unlit room, when all thoughts gradually settle, the doubts and blind spots in love, hate, and

desire are so obvious that girls all step aside. Even if you experience all the details in this song

, it will take years to truly understand. Recalling that noisy wedding banquet, is what you hear the prelude or the finale? Isn't love just mutual consent?

It's best if love and hate are even, with neither owing the other anything. To put it bluntly, one person breaks free while the other picks up the pieces. Men don't need to be speechless,

and women don't need to be pitiful. In short, you two weren't meant to be during those years."
??? "To truly understand, it will take years. Sigh, I think I understand something now?"
??? "You're more mature now, you've grown up," I said.
??? "Perhaps someone who has died once understands more easily."
??? She seemed a little melancholy, unconsciously leaning on my shoulder, and I naturally pulled her into my arms.
??? Neither of us spoke, watching the misty rain and a few passersby still weaving through it.
Are they just passing through this city, or are they returning home? And what am I?
Amidst their constant travels, is there someone waiting for them to return, to change their soaking wet clothes,

to hand them a hot towel? They might complain about the awful weather, yet still inquire about their children's

grades . The water in the kitchen is boiling, the rice is cooked, and the family gathers around the table, some enjoying their meal, others smiling broadly—

how happy they seem.
Will I ever have such a day, a quiet life, filled with the simple joys of everyday life
? I look at the girl in my arms. What is she thinking? Beneath her long eyelashes are eyes deeper than the sea

.
"Xiao Li, Xiao Li, Xiao Li, Xiao Li…" she calls my name rhythmically over and over,

as if calling a kitten, a puppy, a donkey, a pig.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes…" I answer each time she says it.
She smiles and says, "If I say it a thousand times, will you answer a thousand times?"
"Yes," I reply.
"Ten thousand times?"
"Yes."
"One hundred thousand times?"
"No matter how many times, as long as you call me, I will answer you. You say two words, I say one

, I don't believe I can't outlast you."
She nudged me with her bottom, and I nudged her back. She nudged me again; I felt like we were two

little kids .
"Do you know? Today is Mo Xiaofan's birthday." She said it word by word.
I stared at her wide-eyed and said, "Then why didn't you say so earlier? This is very important."
"Do you want to give me a gift to please me?" She blinked.
"Sure, what do you want?"
She thought for a moment and said, "How about you imitate the games kindergarten kids play for me?"
She looked at me expectantly; how could I refuse? But I'd never been to that place before.
"Okay, watch closely." I stood up, jumping and reciting a rhyme I'd memorized.
"Little cat, little cat, bob up and down; little dog, little dog, jump and hop; little pig, little pig, scurry and noisy; little chick, little chick, cluck and cluck

..."
She laughed so hard she couldn't stand up straight, her eyes sparkling, her face full of innocent joy!
"Where did this wild child come from? Get him out of here!" she said.
I was exhausted from all the commotion, so I went back to her side and
said, feeling wronged, "I've never been to kindergarten." She stroked my face and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I was just joking. You're amazing, thank

you."
We gazed at each other, as if a lip-sucking stone had been placed between us.
For the first time in my life, I closed my eyes when we kissed. Now I finally believe that

there really called love.
Four lips met, two hearts connected—this feeling is called sweetness.
When we opened our eyes, it felt like centuries had passed.
Her eyes were like mist and moonlight, hazy and beautiful, deep as the ocean, clear as autumn water.
"Wait a minute, wait for me." I said, then turned and ran into the rain.
"Where are you going?" The rain was pouring down on my head, but I didn't feel a thing.
"You'll know when I get back. Just wait for me."
I hailed a taxi, went to the best cake shop in town, ordered a huge cake, and had her

name . Her image filled my mind the whole way there and back. These things were all done subconsciously.
When I returned and stood next to her, I realized I was soaked.
"What a big cake!" she said, looking at my drenched state.
"The candy I gave you. Do you like it? Let's find a place to eat it?"
"Where?"
"My house?
" "Come on."
My house wasn't big, a bit messy, the blankets were never made, but the furnishings were fairly tidy.
There was a small table, two small stools, a small bed, and a small wardrobe.
"You call this a home? That's so simple."
"It doesn't have to be fully functional to be called a home, just have people.
" "There need to be at least two people, one man and one woman," she said .
"You're so smart, a genius!"
I smiled and moved the things over, preparing to light the candles and cut the cake.
"Let's eat later, change your clothes first, you look like a drowned rat."
She reminded me, and I realized I was a little embarrassed with her there. I
felt a little reluctant to let her look away.
"Can you turn around?" I said.
"That's not safe, I like to turn 360 degrees." She smiled mischievously.
"Don't look where you shouldn't," I said, turning her around.
"You count to ten, and I'll be done, let's begin." I quickly took off all my clothes, leaving only my

underwear.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."
"Slow down."
"Eight," "Nine," while I was still frantically trying to figure it out, she had already turned around.
"You didn't even take your clothes off completely, how disrespectful!" She laughed naturally, without much shyness.
"You haven't even counted to ten yet."
"How can a woman keep her word? Even if she did, it wouldn't be me."
She looked incredibly cute; I was a little mesmerized.
I walked up to her in my underwear. She glanced at my bulging chest, a slight blush rising to her cheeks.
I put my arms around her shoulders and kissed her.
Her clothes fell away piece by piece, revealing thin shoulders and pale, bloodless skin, smooth as silk.
Her nipples were a pale color, pressing against my chest, and her body began to warm slightly.
I carried her to the bed, kissing her tenderly, careful not to miss a single spot.
Her vulva was very clean and regular, just like her. I gently pressed my tongue against her clitoris

, and she breathed excitedly, grabbing my arm. A honey-like fluid seeped from her vulva, a little salty, a little

sweet.
"Little... Li..."
She called my name, pulled me up, and then rolled over, pinning me beneath her.
Her eyes held a hint of confusion, a hint of longing!
"Today is my birthday, I'm in charge," she said. After saying that, she completely changed,

kissing my body wildly.
She wouldn't let me move; our roles had reversed.
She sat on top of me, burying my penis inside her, her cold body warming.
And the temperature rose higher and higher, sweat dripping onto my chest.
She writhed like a snake, her movements wild.
She seemed to be releasing, as if she wanted to use up all the passion of her life at once.
I finally erupted inside her in shock, and so did she. I was a little curious; what was happening to her
? She lay in my arms, panting heavily.
"Xiao Fan, happy birthday."
"Hmm, you really know how to pick your time."
"Is something on your mind?"
"No, I'm just happy. Did I scare you?"
"No, I like it." "You're
so annoying." Her voice was a little sweet, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. Since she didn't want to talk about it, I

let it could vaguely sense something was off.
"Rest for a while before eating cake. You must be tired," I said gently.
"Okay, let's sleep. We'll eat when we wake up." She closed her eyes, and there seemed to be

a .
She fell asleep, like a quiet kitten nestled on my chest. I fell asleep too.
I don't know how long I slept, but my phone rang. I didn't even need to look to know it was my boss, Fatty Li.
"Hey Li, come out for a bit. Meet me at our usual spot at 5."
"Boss, I..."
"What's wrong? Are you busy?"
"No, no, see you at 5."
I hung up the phone. She woke up too, looking at me with her starry eyes.
"You're going out?"
"Yeah, it's the boss's call, I can't refuse."
She seemed a little disappointed, nodded, and said, "Then hurry back, I'll wait for you to come back for cake."
"Okay, I'll be right back." After kissing her goodbye, I greeted Fatty Li and his whole family.
I saw Fatty Li from afar, chatting with Director Zheng. Judging from the situation, it was a card game. The only

reason was probably to serve the director. They were all quite funny; their skill levels were all terrible,

but they were all incredibly serious.
While other people play mahjong, they chat and laugh, with girls accompanying them and plenty of food and drinks. These guys are different. Besides me

, there's no one else around. Everyone's expression is serious; if they make a mistake, they look like they've lost their father. Aside from

the sound of the mahjong tiles, no one says a word. Even Fatty Li doesn't act like this during meetings. So, it seems the lower

someone's skill level, the more serious they are about things.
Everything is the same as always. General Manager Zhang, Director Wu, Fatty Li, and Director Zheng are playing cards with expressionless faces. I

sit quietly to the side, offering cigarettes and water. I always get some benefits after a game,

but today is different. I don't want to stay here for even a second longer.
After eight rounds of cards, it's already past 11 o'clock. I look at my watch, thinking Xiao Fan must be getting impatient at home,

but these guys show no sign of leaving. Fatty Li's face is as purple as an eggplant from losing so much. He probably

doesn't care about losing money, he's just frustrated. It's really infuriating when you have a bad hand.
"Hey Li, come here and help me get a hand, I need to go to the bathroom." Fatty Li swayed as he went to the bathroom. After
getting the tiles, he flipped them over. The thirteen tiles looked like thirteen small televisions, each showing a different

version of Xiao Fan.
Smiling, crying, mischievous, melancholy, and even sitting by a candle waiting

.
Suddenly, Fatty Li was standing behind me.
"Hey Li, what's up?"
"Boss, I want to go back."
"Finish this hand and you can leave," Fatty Li said.
Having finally managed to hold on, I said goodbye and turned to leave.
"Come back, take my car." Fatty Li handed me the car keys.
No wonder I hadn't seen the driver today; he drove himself.
"Boss, no need..." I declined.
"Here you go, drive carefully." Fatty Li patted my shoulder and went to play mahjong.
I almost cried with emotion; I never expected Fatty Li to be so adorable.
I'm a decent driver, but I don't have the money to buy a car. There weren't many people on the road, so I

sped along .
A red light that lasted for dozens of seconds seemed to be deliberately making things difficult for me, its light so blinding.
I waited anxiously in the car, looking out the window. It was almost midnight; I wondered who was snoring and who was

dreaming .
All I knew was that Xiao Fan was waiting for me to come back.
This feeling of not wanting to be apart for even a second was driving me crazy.
Her eyes, shining like stars, illuminated my world and gave me direction.
Without saying a word, I wanted to immediately embrace her, hold her in my hands, blow out the candles, and help her forget her

sorrow .
Just then, I glanced at the television on the roadside. On the screen, a middle-aged couple was crying.
The news was broadcasting about a female college student's suicide, and the voiceover reached my ears.
"At midnight on May 17th, Beijing time, a female student from Chengnan Normal School

committed suicide by jumping from a building after breaking up with her boyfriend. This has attracted the attention of various universities and relevant departments. Experts have once again called for strengthening

psychological education for college students, which is now imperative..."
"The woman who committed suicide was a top student in the English department, named Mo Xiaofan. She wasn't introverted,

but an extremely strong sense of self-esteem and was rather extreme..."
"Mo Xiaofan!!" I quickly looked at the television screen. Although I only glanced at it, the

person in the photo was definitely her; her eyes were unique.
Cold sweat streamed down my forehead. "Impossible, absolutely impossible."
I quickly pulled out my phone to look at the photos I'd secretly taken of her that afternoon, but there was only a rain-soaked

roof; her image was nowhere to be seen.
"How could this be? What on earth is going on?"
My mind was a jumbled mess; every movement and every word she'd uttered replayed in my head.
"Do you believe in ghosts?"
"Is there really no afterlife?"
"I am a ghost!"
... Cold hands, cold eyes, a cold body, a falling flowerpot, an overwhelming premonition!
"God!" I heard the car behind me honking, urging me on. I frantically started the car, my mind

a complete blank.
I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it. She was clearly a lovely woman.
Clearly a lovely woman, with joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. Today was her birthday; she was waiting for

me at home.
How could someone like that be dead? Don't be silly.
But why is there no image in her photo? Why is her body cold?
Could it be that I really encountered a ghost?
Absolutely not. Everything will be clear when I get back. Whether she was human or a ghost, I need to know the

answer .
I can't even describe my feelings right now; no words can adequately express them.
The car is speeding by, leaving everything in its wake, but it still feels slow. I keep pressing the accelerator,

pressing it harder and harder.
I see the lights in my house; everything else is dark except for mine.
She must be waiting for me. A warm feeling washes over me again.
It must be a mistake. There are no ghosts in this world. I'm such a fool.
Just then, a truck suddenly appears in the opposite direction. The long container is the last thing I see.
A sharp pain makes me faint; the truck door flies off.
Suddenly, I feel incredibly clear-headed. I have only one thought: go back, see her!
I scramble out of the truck and run home. I can still smell the strong odor of gasoline and smoke behind me.
It was almost midnight, and her birthday was almost over.
Thinking this, I quickened my pace. When I reached the front door, I found it ajar.
Xiao Fan sat at the small table, watching the nearly burnt-out candles, tears streaming down her face like broken pearls onto the cake

.
In the dim candlelight, I could see Xiao Fan's weeping face; she saw me.
I saw her too, and the world seemed to freeze.
Just as I was about to approach her, she stood up, shaking her head.
"Don't come any closer, don't…come any closer…"
"Xiao Fan, what's wrong? I told you it's nothing, just tell me."
She wiped away her tears, forcing a resolute smile.
"Xiao Li, don't say anything, don't say anything at all. Let me say it. I have a few minutes left. In a few minutes, we

'll be saying goodbye forever."
"Are you kidding me? What…what are you kidding me…" I yelled.
"If only it were a joke. At this time yesterday, I jumped and

said goodbye ."
"Yesterday was my death anniversary, today is my birthday. You must remember!"
"I lingered in this world because I wanted to know if anyone still loved me. I only have twelve hours left.
There's no time to explain why." "
Meeting you was both a great fortune and a great regret for me. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful and happiest

love."
"But I didn't live to enjoy these things. There are many things I only understood after death. How ironic!"
"This brief happiness is enough for me to go to the underworld without regret. If there is an afterlife, I will definitely

live Where there is life, there is hope. I understand now. I will bless you in the underworld, no matter what happens, I will

bless you."
"See you in the next life. You must believe in an afterlife, and you must believe that we can meet again."
My eyes are already blurred, and I can't describe what I feel now—love or hate, resentment or infatuation,

heartache or coldness, longing or indifference…
...What should I say? What should I say...
? The candle went out, and in the instant Xiao Fan disappeared, he left behind an eternal smile!
The extinguished candle still emitted smoke, which dissipated with the wind.
Everything vanished like smoke. I stood there dumbfounded, feeling my body growing lighter and lighter,

gradually lifting off the ground.
The night seemed to be instantly illuminated, and I found myself in a world of shifting sunlight.
My eyes seemed to pierce through the distance of space, my gaze falling on the street where I had my car accident.
I saw Fatty Li weeping, holding a mutilated corpse. It turns out that in this world, people still

have feelings!
[The End

]

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