My wife heard a strange noise.

1. The husband came home a day early from his business trip, arriving at the villa at 10 PM. Standing in front of the door, he called his wife to come down and open the door. It took her a while to come down. Seeing him, she said nervously, "Honey, come quick! You're back just in time!"

The husband was stunned and asked, "What's wrong?"

She said anxiously, "Around 9 PM, I heard strange noises coming from our garage. I don't know if it was a car theft, but I was too scared to come down alone. You're back just in time; let's go check."

The husband was terrified. Could a thief really be so bold as to break into our house? He put his luggage down and ran to the garage, with his wife following behind. He went into the garage, turned on the light, and saw the car was still there. His wife followed, immediately closing the garage door, and said to him, "Check the car carefully again. Is there any damage? Is anything missing?"

After a careful inspection, the husband was relieved to find the car undamaged and nothing missing. At this moment, the wife secretly glanced at her phone, thinking: Ten minutes have passed, and that scoundrel of yours still hasn't run out.

He's just waiting to die... 2. Abao: Dude, didn't sleep well last night? You're so tired

. Daqiang: How can I sleep well with two women sleeping with me?

Abao: Brother, you're lucky. It's worth it even if you don't sleep well!

Daqiang: Straight. Straight all night.

Abao: What do you mean?

Daqiang: One wife on the left, one daughter on the right, neither allows me to favor either side. I lay on my back with my body straight all night, I'm almost a mummy!

3. Xiao Ming asked, "Uncle Wang, why do women love to spend money?"

Old Wang countered, "Then let me ask you this for free: do you prefer pretty girls or ugly girls?"

Xiao Ming replied, "Pretty girls, of course!"

Old Wang said, "That's it! Women love to spend money because men love pretty girls!"

Xiao Ming asked疑惑地, "How so?"

Old Wang said, "Clothes make the man, so women need to buy pretty clothes. Men like novelty, so women need to constantly buy new clothes! After buying new clothes, they can't wear worn-out shoes, so different clothes need to be paired with different shoes, and different shoes need different socks! And look at women's clothes—they don't even have pockets, so they need to buy bags. Similarly, different bags are paired with different clothes!" Besides, a woman's purse can't be empty, so she has to buy things to fill it up. What does she buy? Women love beauty, and their face is the most important thing, so there are lots of cosmetics: eyeliner, lipstick, foundation, etc., all costing money. Then there are all sorts of jewelry after makeup, more money! In short, a woman's entire body is pursed! So you really need to pay attention in the future!"

Xiao Ming nodded and said, "You mean I should marry a woman who doesn't spend much money?"

Old Wang shook his head and said, "No, I mean you poor bastard, how are you going to get a wife? Hurry up and make some money!"

Xiao Ming: ...
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My wife heard a strange noise.

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