Reasons for breakup

The reason I broke up with Mia was simple: I cheated on her. I remember Mia went back to her parents' home in Beijing, and I was alone in my rented room surfing the internet. I unintentionally started chatting more and more with a female online friend, and we even video-chatted. She was quite ordinary-looking, but she often initiated video chats with me. Once, I half-jokingly said, "Since you like video chatting with me so much, why don't we meet in person?" A little while later, she unexpectedly replied, "Okay, but I don't know how to get home." I told her the directions and gave her my phone number. From chatting to arranging to meet, it took less than a minute, to the point that I started to suspect she might be a prostitute. The next day, when I waited for her at the school gate, I was prepared to run away. But the moment I saw her, my worries vanished. She was dressed like a student, wearing jeans and sneakers, and a light-colored t-shirt. She was petite, thin, and short; her skin was fair, her features were regular, and her jeans hugged her firm, shapely buttocks. Her breasts appeared to be between a B and a C cup, which made me feel like I'd gotten a bargain. I went up to her and greeted her. She observed me carefully for a few seconds, then smiled generously and said, "Yes, it's you. You didn't lie to me!" There wasn't a hint of shyness in her voice. I invited her to dinner and chatted, and found her to be very talkative. She was studying at the University of International Business and Economics, the same age and year as me, and from Shandong. I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said yes, she was already working, and her husband was very strict, not allowing her to chat online. I said, "Then how did you chat with me?" She said her husband hadn't come home all night. I said, "Your husband didn't care that he didn't come home all night?" She said, "I'm annoyed with him! He likes to control me, and he comes to our school to find me all the time. I said I need my own space, but he won't listen and still tries to control me!" I said, "Your boyfriend must have a protective instinct towards you because you're petite, and when you're together, he feels you can't live without his protection." She said, "You're right. He told me he loves holding me close, like holding a baby." I said, "It's a pity that as an independent adult, you don't like living in his shadow and are tired of his constraints." She said, "You're pretty impressive. Did you study psychology?" I proudly replied, "A little." We chatted for a long time, finding ourselves very compatible, even feeling like we'd known each other for ages. That evening, I treated her to beer at the food stall across from our apartment complex, from 8 pm to 10 pm. I thought I had a high alcohol tolerance, but she was just as good. We drank a whole case of Yanjing beer, and by the end, we were both a little tipsy. I said, "It's so late, let's go to my place to rest." She said, "No, it's too late, my husband will definitely be worried." I said, "Didn't you turn off your phone?" She said, "I'm afraid he'll worry." I said, "You haven't spoken to him all day. If you go back now, he'll definitely argue with you again. Aren't you annoyed?" She thought for a moment and said, "That makes sense. I'm not going back tonight. What's it to him? Come on, I'll stay at your place tonight!" As we climbed the stairs, I saw her staggering and wanted to help her, but she instinctively pushed my hand away, saying, "I can manage on my own." We reached the door. I opened it and led her into the living room. My roommate's room was dark; he probably wasn't there. My tense mood immediately eased. As soon as we entered the room, she lay down on the bed, saying she was sleepy and wanted to sleep. I lay down next to her. She said, "Turn off the light." I reached out and turned off the light. The room wasn't dark; moonlight streamed in through the window, and I could clearly see her face and hear her rapid breathing. I tentatively reached out to touch her face, and she instinctively grasped my hand, saying, "Don't do this." But I couldn't hear any firmness in her tone. It wasn't a rejection, but rather encouragement. So I boldly unbuckled her belt. She didn't resist anymore, quickly taking off her jeans and facing me, then rapidly began to remove my shirt. Soon, we were both left only with the Emperor's New Clothes. I should have pinned her beneath me, but because of her petite frame, I could only face her, supporting her waist like I was holding a doll. Then, her hand found my erection and inserted it, followed by a back-and-forth lever motion. I thought: Is this the legendary "old tree roots"? Before this, Mia and I only knew three basic positions: missionary, side-lying, and doggy style. We'd never tried anything else, so this new position was incredibly exciting. Her body was small and slender, and I could clearly feel the friction and impact of her toe bones between my thighs. We were locked in this intense struggle when suddenly, an image of Mia lying on the bed flashed into my mind. I abruptly picked her up, got off the bed, and stood on the floor, holding her suspended in the air. She clearly enjoyed it, letting out encouraging cries. I said, "Do you like this?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Has your boyfriend ever done this?" She said, "No." I said, "Is it exciting?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Want something more exciting?" She nodded. So I pressed her against the wall, using it for support, and we moved up and down, alternating. After a while, I carried her to the dressing table in the room. The table wasn't very high, and when I put her on it, the cosmetics Mia used were pushed off the table by her body, scattering all over the floor with a loud thud. Mia and I broke up during the winter break of 2017 because she accidentally discovered this conversation on QQ. Every night after breaking up with Mia, I would dream of her, then wake up in a frenzy of joy, followed by a piercing pain. I tried to find a cure for this suffering, but found that besides fantasy and masturbation, I had no other way to alleviate my pain. I tried to find a new girlfriend, even going to all sorts of nightclubs and bars, and met many unreliable club girls and delinquent girls. That's when I realized that after leaving university, you can no longer love someone with the same poetic sensibility as you did on campus. I tried to become decadent and base, to shed the layers of pretense I'd worn throughout my years of university life. I started wandering the campus with ill intentions, stalking any girl I felt a spark. In my memory, the Beijing sky was always a dark blue, that winter seemed endless, the air thick with dirty dust, and walking the streets was just an endless expanse of cold.

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Reasons for breakup

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