Divorced

I've dated over 20 decent women, so I have some experience in picking them up and I can control my mindset well. I usually cast a wide net on QQ, and if someone takes the bait, I develop the relationship further. After getting to know them initially, I test the waters to see if they're likely to cheat. If not, I don't want to waste time; if they're interested, I pursue it more deeply. Overall, the results are pretty good; I can manage 7 or 8 a year. Among the decent women I've already hooked up with, I treat them differently based on how they treat me. Some... If someone is sincere with me, I will cherish them and be their long-term lover. For those with a lukewarm attitude, I'll treat it as a game, playing around for as long as it lasts. Generally speaking, I prefer to find someone I have mutual feelings for, because I enjoy sex with emotional connection, which is why I rarely visit prostitutes. Perhaps I'm naturally a more emotional person. Although I know I'm just playing around, when I meet someone who moves me or treats me well, I can still develop genuine feelings, even though I know it's a big no-no, I still can't control myself. Getting back to the point, at the end of August, I met a 35-year-old divorced woman online, and we were in the same boat. At first, we just chatted casually, getting to know each other's basic situations. A few days later, she suddenly said, "You're not just chatting with women online for the sake of chatting, are you?" Seeing how direct she was, I didn't avoid the question and told her I wanted to find a lover, explaining that I was unhappy at home. She didn't seem very averse to it and told me she was divorced. I told her I could love her well, but I couldn't give her a family. After chatting for a few days, I suggested we meet, and she agreed. In the evening, I picked her up at the entrance of her apartment complex, and we went to dinner first. During dinner, I behaved very politely and generously, and it was clear she had a good impression of me. After dinner, we went for a walk in the park and then I took her home. When we got to the entrance of her apartment complex, I asked if I could come up for a while, and she agreed after thinking about it. At her home, we chatted naturally, and I didn't touch her. Gradually, she trusted me more. Actually, from our conversations, I knew what kind of person she was. If I made a move on the first time, there definitely wouldn't be a second time, so I was playing the long game. At ten o'clock, I said goodbye and went home. She said she would walk me to my building, but I said I should just go to the door and not come down. I could tell she was a little reluctant to let me go. After I got home, she told me that she felt good about me and was willing to date me. In our subsequent conversations, we became very intimate, and she even told me that I could stay overnight at her place during the National Day holiday when her daughter wasn't there. I also have strong feelings for her, and it's no longer just about having her body; I've fallen in love. During the week between our first and second meetings, I couldn't sleep many nights, waking up in the middle of the night thinking about her, about our future together. I knew she was already in my heart. Last night we arranged to meet again, and I picked her up at the entrance of her apartment complex. She arrived after half an hour. We went to a newly built park, and she was very proactive from the moment she got out of the car. I had prepared two bottles of mineral water, but she said she only needed one. When crossing the street, she took my hand, and I naturally put my arm around her. In a quiet corner of the park, we sat down, and after a few words, we kissed. We touched each other, and she was very proactive. Actually, we both know deep down that there's an issue we can't get around. She's not the kind of woman who's just casual; she wants a home, and that's the last thing I can give her. We've both tried to avoid this issue before, but when we're quiet, we both think about it. Later, we talked about this topic directly. I hoped she would give me time, saying that maybe I would get a divorce someday because I don't have feelings for my wife anymore. But she felt this answer was too vague, leaving her without hope. By 10 pm, we still couldn't reach an agreement. I took her home, but I vaguely sensed that she had changed. This morning, my suspicions came true. She said she wanted to give up; she didn't want to waste her feelings on someone who couldn't give her a future. I said a lot, but she remained resolute. Actually, I know that making this decision is painful for her, and I felt the same way when I heard the news. If I hadn't fallen deeply in love, I wouldn't have cared at all; I don't lack women. I've been trying to persuade her since this morning, but I don't know if my words will work. Sigh, maybe I'm not a real wolf yet; the innocence in my heart hasn't been completely extinguished.

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