【MyGirl: Double-sided Flower】(02) Author: MRnobody

Author: mrnobody
Word Count: 6547

(II)

I smoked several cigarettes in the living room before Ah Shui finally opened the door and came out.

She was dressed neatly, carrying the sheets we had soiled. She didn't look at me, and staggered to
the balcony. Her slippers had been left in the living room, so her feet were bare.

The house was heated, but the balcony was cold. I wanted to take her the slippers, but I forced myself to remain
seated , motionless.

I heard the washing machine starting up from the balcony, but Ah Shui didn't come back. I didn't know if she didn't want to see me,
or if she was afraid that seeing me would make her cry again. So I got up and called out to the balcony,

"I'm going to sleep."

"Okay, goodnight."

Her soft reply drifted over. I went into the bedroom and locked the door.

The bed was covered with Ah Shui's newly changed sheets, neatly made. But I could almost see her lying there again, pressing
wrinkles into the sheets.

My hand reached for the doorknob, then withdrew.

When I woke up the next morning, there was breakfast ready on the table, but Ah Shui wasn't in the house. I
rushed into her bedroom immediately.

Thankfully, her clothes and luggage were still there, and I breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing why I was so nervous.

There was a purple shawl on Ah Shui's bed, embroidered with small silver and white flowers; it was very pretty. I
picked it up and held it to my face, inhaling its faint fragrance.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a lock being opened outside. I hurriedly dropped the shawl and ran out of Ah Shui's bedroom as if my life depended on it,
only to be met with her gaze.

"Did you go grocery shopping?"

"Yes."

I saw the bag in her hand and asked awkwardly. She answered softly, without asking why I had gone to her
room.

I sat down and ate in silence. Ah Shui went into the kitchen and didn't come out.

After finishing my meal, I got up, changed my shoes, and said to the kitchen,

"I'm going to work."

"Okay, be careful on the way."

She replied, but didn't come out. I said again,

"I left some money on the table. I haven't been able to give you any living expenses lately, and you've been paying for groceries
. I'm sorry."

This time, she didn't even respond, and I left.

Walking down the street, I felt a sense of relief, but also a sense of loss. Rationally, I knew that there was no
possibility between Ah Shui and me—since there was no possibility, there would have to be an end. Given what we'd been through, even though it had been a short time,
it was unlikely that we could still say "we can still be friends." So, given the current situation, it was
actually quite good to end things. We looked at each other in silence, without saying anything about being reluctant or unable to let go. Last night was like having a farewell sex session .
As long as she moves out of my place the day after tomorrow, we 'll never see each other again,
and that will be the end of it. No need for a falling out, no need for lingering ties. That's what a perfect breakup is all about.

But I just felt fucking annoyed!

Ah Shui's submissiveness annoyed me, her submissiveness annoyed me, her avoidance
annoyed me, and what annoyed me most was that I couldn't let go of her. I worried she'd be sad for a long time, worried she
'd go back to Song Chen, worried she wouldn't be able to reconcile with her family, worried she'd go astray.

The more I tried not to think about her, the less I could banish her from my mind. I missed the
Ah Shui who loved to cry, laugh, and be affectionate, and worried she could never go back to that. I think I should thank my damn rationality, otherwise I would have asked her to stay
last night .

Near the end of the workday, I finally couldn't resist calling Ah Shui, asking her not to cook and to go out for dinner
together . This was the result of my day-long hesitation—even if we couldn't be together in the end, I still
didn't want it to end so coldly. At least I wanted to be kind to her in our final moments and say goodbye with a smile.

For some inexplicable reason, I chose the same fish hotpot restaurant where I
first Ah Shui kept smacking her lips from the spiciness but couldn't bear to put down her chopsticks; I thought she was
so cute. But today she ate very ladylike, chewing and swallowing in small bites, silently
taking a sip of . Her shawl was neatly folded and placed to one side; I liked this shawl, and I liked
how Ah Shui looked wearing it.

After dinner, we strolled along the bustling street. Several times I wanted to reach out and take Ah Shui's hand, but I
held back. I didn't know what to say, but I knew that maintaining this relationship was enough. If I did
anything , it probably wouldn't matter to me, but it would only hurt this girl in the end.

We walked until the streetlights came on, and my clothes were starting to feel the chill. Ah Shui wrapped her shawl tighter
around herself and followed me silently. I said, "Let's go back," and she said, "Okay."

"By the way, your shawl is very pretty."

I smiled at her, hoping she would smile back.

"Thank you,"

she said.

The drive back was still silent. I drove, and she looked out the window, as if we were back on
the . Only then we both knew that everything was just beginning, and tonight we both knew that everything was about
to end.

"Uncle, I wrote something, could you take a look at it for me tonight?"

Back home, feeling defeated and unable to open her heart tonight, I was about to head back to the bedroom when
Ah Shui suddenly brought it up.

"Hmm? Sure."

I was surprised; I thought she'd stopped writing altogether, but it turned out she was still secretly writing.

Could it be about me?

I wondered, returning to my room and turning on my computer. A short while later, Ah Shui sent me a document.

The file transfer notification indicated the document was only 15kb, usually the size of an empty document.
The title was also "New Microsoft Word Document," and I thought Ah Shui had sent the wrong file, but
I still accepted it.

The transfer was almost instantaneous. I opened it, then felt lost.

The document contained only four words: "I like you."

Although my vocabulary isn't vast, I pay close attention to word choice when writing. I remember
when Ah Shui and I first started dating, she once sat next to me watching me write a novel. When she wrote the part where the female protagonist confessed "I love
you" to the male protagonist, she laughed at me mercilessly.

Back then, Ah Shui said that a girl wouldn't say "I love you" the first time she confessed to a boy, because
girls are usually timid and shy, and they would never easily say those three words unless they were sure they would get a response.

Ah Shui had told me "I love you" many times—when we went out together,
when , when we made love, when she apologized after I made her angry… But this was the first time she had said "I like you" to me.

I don't know what Ah Shui's mindset was when she typed those four words, but I can guess how much anxiety and uncertainty lay behind that cautious
sentence . I had an urge to rush to the next bedroom, but in the end,
I just opened the chat window and sent her a comment:

"Well written, but too unrealistic."

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had just followed my feelings that day and told her "I like you too."

I think she would have been very happy, even if we still ended up parting ways
…

Ah Shui later told me why she never asked me for money when we were dating. After agreeing to Song Chen
's request to get closer to me, she initially did have ulterior motives in dating me. However,
starting a few days before our meeting, she couldn't be firm in her feelings. She said that even though we were separated online, she still felt I was
a good person, and that my kindness towards her was genuine, just as she had told me in the car. She wasn't a
liar; although she was influenced by Song Chen, she still couldn't deceive someone who was kind to her.

Meeting me wasn't A-Shui's idea; half of the chat messages were sent by Song Chen for her. At that time,
she still couldn't refuse Song Chen's request for the sake of her conscience, so she arranged the date. We made love on
the first night, and she tried to get information out of me, but only superficially. Looking back now
, I think Song Chen must have taught A-Shui many methods for getting information out of me. If she had been able to be
persistent , she probably would have obtained a lot of important information. But she didn't; she was constantly resisting, so she
was always perfunctory in carrying out her mission, procrastinating again and again.

And then she fell in love with me. Chatting again and again, meeting again and again, making love again and again. On one side was
Song Chen, who kept urging her on, and on the other was me, who doted on her. Ah Shui gradually realized
how blind her love and trust in Song Chen had been, and she could no longer endure the psychological torment of being caught between two men. So she decided to end
it all, and in the end, she chose me.

That is to say, the morning I went to her school and saw her with Song Chen, she had just made
love to him one last time and then broke up with him. When the truth came out, she didn't explain to me, and I, in a fit of rage ,
kicked her out of my life. In just a few hours, she ended two relationships.

Ah Shui left me a day early and went back to school. Actually, the dormitory should have been open for several days.
She had been staying there, unspokenly, perhaps just waiting for the right moment to say those
four words to me.

That night, I didn't sleep well. I vaguely heard crying coming from next door. I told
myself it was just a dream, pulled the covers tighter, and forced myself to sleep again. The next morning, there was still
breakfast on the table. Then I went into her bedroom. This time, she was really gone.

I sat at the table, picked up my chopsticks, and kept thinking this was fine, but the food I put in my mouth
tasted so awful I wanted to vomit. When I read novels, I hate it when a story is clearly disgusting, but
it's interspersed with so many beautiful scenes, making you want to throw it away but unable to—and reality
is even more so.

And so, my story with Ah Shui came to an end once again. It was even more painful than before, but even the greatest pain will eventually
heal with time. A few months later, my boss called me into his office.

"Come on, pick one."

As soon as I entered, a pile of resumes was thrown in front of me.

Privately, I could call my boss "uncle." Although we weren't related by blood, he had
fought alongside my father for several years, participated in the Sino-Vietnamese War, and we had a life-or-death bond. Therefore, he was more concerned about my personal life than my work
performance .

"Pick what?"

At first, I didn't understand what he meant, but when I saw that the names and photos on the resumes belonged to different
young women, I immediately understood.

"Xiao Xiang, you're thirty this year, right? Look, my grandson will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and you're still
all alone. You've done well at work these past few years, your income is good, you're handsome, and your family isn't short of money.
There's no reason for you to stay single forever!"

"My dad's talking to you again, isn't he?"

I smiled and offered him a cigarette. My parents have often gotten angry with me about finding me a partner, always ending up in awkward
situations . So later, they started taking a roundabout approach, having me,
their boss whom they couldn't argue with, say these things on their behalf.

"Your dad's doing this for your own good. You're such a grown man, yet you still don't understand." He lit
a and then pointed to the pile of resumes. "We're hiring five people this time, and you decide who we choose. Pick the one you
like best, and I'll put her in the same office as you. I bet you can't sell your kid out there!"

"Surely not," I chuckled, flipping through the files. "What if the one I pick already has a boyfriend
?"

"Impossible!" the boss replied decisively. "I already rejected anyone with a boyfriend during the interviews!"

Fine! My elders have gone to such lengths; it would be ungrateful of me not to accept. Although I
don't think my single status is something the whole world should worry about, whatever, my office guy is usually pretty sloppy anyway, so
replacing him with a pretty girl would be nice. Whether it works out or not, we'll see.

After flipping through the resumes several times, I finally chose a girl named Zhou Lingling. She's
twenty-six this year, a few years younger than me, but not so much that there's a generation gap. She's a job changer, so
she should be quite capable, and she's pretty too. Even if she can't be my girlfriend, she'd be a nice, pleasing assistant.

I randomly picked four other girls who looked decent as replacements, thanked the boss, and left
his office.

Things were arranged quickly afterward, and a week later, Zhou Lingling was sitting in my office.

When she came to work, I was looking at Ah Shui's WeChat Moments—a

habit . Ah Shui loves posting on Moments; it's like she has to report everything, big or small, to God, which indirectly...
I learned that she's been doing well lately, focusing almost entirely on her studies, no longer
entangled , and not dating anyone else.

Before looking up, my eyes were drawn to the photo Ah Shui used as her WeChat profile picture, so my first reaction upon seeing Zhou
Lingling was—wow, this girl is way prettier than Ah Shui!

Last time I saw her ID photo, I only thought she was pretty. But seeing her in person, I realized that
her three-dimensional appearance is several levels above her two-dimensional one.

Without comparison, you'd never realize how much difference a few years can make to a woman
. Zhou Lingling isn't the cute type like Ah Shui; instead, she exudes a
unique . This aura, combined with our company's dark skirt uniform,
her black stockings, and high heels, makes her a quintessential office lady. Furthermore, instead of the expected dashing and
heroic image, I sensed more sexiness—okay, I guess I've watched too many OL-themed AVs, and
whenever I see a beautiful woman in a uniform, I imagine she's about to strip naked and give oral sex to one or more men…
…

This woman suddenly appearing before me immediately awakened my more
normal aesthetic sense from before I met Ah Shui—yes, this is the kind of woman a man my age should like!

I closed WeChat, stood up, and extended my hand, saying to her,

"Hello."

Zhou Lingling used to work for a multinational company. Her departure had nothing to do with her abilities; it was because
the company suddenly withdrew from the Chinese market. She was very efficient, much better than my former colleagues. I
didn't have many responsibilities to begin with, and most of my work time was taken up by writing. Now that this girl was here,
I've practically become a hands-off manager.

But that doesn't mean I can focus on writing my novel. Zhou Lingling is great in every way, except she talks too much,
chattering away all day long. Contrary to my expectations, I thought a girl like her would be most interested
in designer brands, mall sales, and celebrity gossip, but she didn't talk about any of those. Her favorite topic was food—
snacks , the city's most hidden but highly-rated restaurants, and so on. Every time she talked about
how delicious the braised pork or braised ribs were, I would look at her curvaceous figure and question my existence—
didn't they say God doesn't play dice? How come someone like me, who can't eat more than three ounces of food at a meal, has
a belly , while that foodie can maintain such a perfect figure?

Anyway, since we didn't have to talk about those topics only women are interested in,
chatting with Zhou Lingling during work hours was quite enjoyable. While chatting with her, I would still occasionally check
my WeChat Moments. Although I didn't want to admit it, I knew deep down I was looking at Ah Shui. I wouldn't say I still liked
her, but I knew I hadn't completely let her go, and I wanted to know how she was doing.

Almost a year passed like this without me realizing it. My boss had hinted countless times that I was too slow;
a girl like Zhou Lingling wouldn't be single for long, and if I didn't seize the opportunity, I'd miss my chance.

Actually, I had considered pursuing Zhou Lingling. That girl was really great—no, exceptionally great.
Compared to my last girlfriend, Ashui, she had looks, figure, temperament, income, and family background. I
couldn't a single fault with her, but I hesitated, a hesitation I couldn't even explain to myself.

"Tell me honestly, do you not like women?"

Finally, one day, my boss asked this blunt question, and I knew I
couldn't delay any longer.

I started seriously considering whether I liked Zhou Lingling. At this point, I was certain I no longer had
any feelings for Ashui. Looking at her social media was just a long-standing habit. I believed that even if she posted that
she had a new boyfriend, I would sincerely congratulate her. So, Ashui wasn't
an obstacle between me and Zhou Lingling. But…

I still couldn't help comparing them. When Ah Shui was with me, she was a girl who did everything she could for me; it wouldn't be an exaggeration
to say I was her everything. I'm 100% certain Zhou Lingling wouldn't do the same.

Women are people too, and even in marriage, each person has their own rights. So I can't expect a woman to
lower her status for me, and besides, given Zhou Lingling's circumstances, I have no right to make that demand. But I'm no longer at
the age where I'd hastily decide on a life partner just to have free sex with a beautiful woman. I'm not short of money, and my liking for beautiful women
can be satisfied by watching porn and masturbating. What I need to consider is personality.

Ah Shui was practically personalityless in front of me; her main function was to warm my bed and act cute, like a memory foam pillow
, shaping my head to fit her. But Zhou Lingling is different. Having been through
a few years she has her own principles and sharpness. She's like a jade pillow—it looks high-end and beautiful,
but no matter if your head is round or flat, unless you have a concave indentation on the back of your head, it will definitely be uncomfortable to rest your head on.

Our relationship hasn't reached that stage yet, and I'm theoretically her boss, so
we both . But once this current relationship becomes that of an equal
couple, can we still get along so well? I honestly have no idea.

She has many friends, spending countless weekends and holidays partying and traveling all over the country.

She has male best friends, and those devoted followers who like her posts on social media within five minutes—in
my eyes, they're all just backup options, and I don't like any of that. I prefer to spend my free time
at home quietly, and I like a life where it's just the two of us. I also hope my partner is
completely devoted to me and doesn't have too many entanglements with others. So if I were to develop a relationship with Zhou Lingling,
one of us would have to completely change our lives for the other.

Am I willing? I'm not. Is she willing? I don't know.

Putting aside all the factors mentioned above, I like Zhou Lingling. I also understand that at my age, it's unrealistic to expect
to meet another woman who both meets my requirements and whom I like. Therefore, I know that further
consideration is predictable, and it's time to make a decision.

Opportunities always come unexpectedly. Zhou Lingling received a business trip assignment, to go to another province for a week.

That day, she chatted with me as usual while preparing the materials she needed for the trip. I thought this wasn't a bad idea.
I absentmindedly answered her rapid-fire chatter, while simultaneously planning whether
to prepare a surprise, like a sudden confession when she returned.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave work. She greeted me and prepared to go home, but I
called out to her as she was about to leave.

"What's up?"

She turned around so quickly it felt like she knew I was going to stop her.

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I need to sign off on your travel expense reimbursement, but it seems like we can
talk about it when you get back."

I smiled and shook my head, feeling I'd made a fuss.

"That's it?"

Zhou Lingling's face showed undisguised disappointment.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

"I've been here for almost a year, and this is the first time I've been on a business trip for so long. I thought… you wanted to treat me to a meal
to see me off or something…"

She said this with a self-deprecating tone, but her voice betrayed her disappointment. My heart
skipped a beat, and I smiled and said,

"Let's have dinner together then."

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