【A Woman's Mole】(67) Author: Bo Bo Xiong Yong

Author: Bobo, surging
words: 5427

(Sixty-seven)

In this high-stakes gamble, there are no winners, only those who hurt and those who are hurt. The hurt suffer immensely, while
the hurter feels guilty and remorseful. Even saying "I'm sorry" a thousand times cannot heal a wounded heart.

I wandered aimlessly to the company building. I had never looked up at
the high-rise building where I used to work so quietly before. I craned my neck to try and find my floor, but all I saw was a
gloomy sky. Under the gray sky, the glass of the high-rise buildings looked like a row of towering waves,
pressing down on me and making me dizzy.

The place was so oppressive that I could hardly breathe. I wanted to
shout

Damn it...! Damn it...! Damn it...!

Actually, the world is very simple. It is only because of people that it has become complicated. Therefore, we
animals called humans feel that life has also become complicated.

It's a simple truth—I'm not crazy, though I might want to; I
have to work to support my family; I have a report due tomorrow, and I need to prepare materials
for a meeting … There are so many things waiting for me, so I can't just scream like a madman here. So
, under the security guard's questioning gaze, I lowered my head and silently walked through the door, pressed the elevator button, stepped into the elevator,
pressed the 24th floor button again, and then closed my eyes to wait, as if waiting for the elevator to slow down more and more,
never reaching the end, like a death row inmate waiting for the gunshot.

With a ding, the elevator doors slowly opened in the middle. The moment I stepped out, I looked up—
the green Arabic numeral 24…

I thought, this is a good number, Kobe's number was 24…

"I'm working overtime tonight, I might be home late, you should go to sleep early…" I didn't dare call Guo Ying,
so I sent her a WeChat message.

Sitting in the chair, I was completely lost for a long time, unable to focus. The letters, numbers,
Chinese characters, and graphics on the computer screen felt like ants crawling over my eyes, making me squeeze them shut in discomfort.

My pale cheeks, my bright almond-shaped eyes, the tears that kept rolling down my face, the faint freckles… I clutched my head
and muttered to myself in anguish: Please! Don't show up again! Go away! Go away! Don't keep hovering in
front ! I'm going to die!!

"What are you muttering about?" a voice asked from behind.

"What's wrong? You look terrible."

I forced a weak smile and said, "Nothing, just a little tired…"

"Then go home and rest early…"

"I have to work overtime tonight, the report is due tomorrow… It's okay, you go ahead with your work…" I said,
rubbing .

"Do you need any help?" she asked, still as helpful as ever, leaning over to look at the screen.

Unlike before, the scent emanating from her suddenly filled me with extreme fear. I desperately
held my breath and turned my head away.

What's wrong with me? Why am I so cautious? Why can't I just lazily take a deep
breath , smile at her, and say, "You smell so good!" then watch the faint blush rise on her face
and give her a sly smile...

What's wrong with me? I shifted uncomfortably, feeling like I was sitting on pins and needles, wanting nothing more than to get as far away from her as possible, as if
she were about to hurt me, or perhaps I was afraid of hurting her?

"Why are you so far away from me?" she scolded, frowning.

"I... I need to use the restroom..." I said, standing up and hurrying
away as if fleeing a plague.

"You!" a soft scolding came from behind me.

The cold water splashed on my face, making me shiver. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes red and my expression
contorted, I almost didn't recognize myself...

You shameless person! You despicable person! "You bastard! Why don't you just die!"

I cursed myself repeatedly in the mirror, gritting my teeth, wishing I could
smash the shameless, despicable bastard in the mirror to pieces!

Why did you come back?! Why didn't you just leave me decisively?! Why are you still thinking about me?!
Why...? ???

The bastard in the mirror seemed to transform into the girl with fair cheeks and light freckles, her
almond-shaped eyes seeming to speak, murmuring softly to me, her voice so tender, as tender as a
glutinous rice dumpling in May, making one want to take a gentle bite...

The ringing of my phone suddenly interrupted my reverie, and the girl in the mirror shattered and disappeared instantly.

"Why aren't you back yet?" the girl from before asked anxiously.

I took a deep breath, trying to make my voice sound normal, and said, "Coming."

"What's wrong with you? Why are you washing your face in this cold weather?... " she asked with concern.

"It's nothing, it's none of your business," I interrupted her abruptly, sitting down to find that
she had written quite a bit for me while I was gone.

Instead of appreciating her efforts, I snapped at her, "Why did you change it?!"

"I…" she stammered, blushing, "I was just trying to help you, why are you so angry?"

"…", I glared at her fiercely, turning away and ignoring her. I heard her stomp her foot behind me, give a
soft , and then clatter back to her seat in her high heels.

I frantically pressed the undo button, deleting everything she had painstakingly done, but I
couldn't write , so I just stared blankly at the screen.

"What's wrong with you? You were so fierce just now!" Perhaps she noticed my unusual blank stare,
because she sent me a WeChat message.

I could only turn back and smile wryly, saying, "Really nothing… or you can just think of it as an intermittent bout of mental illness
…"

She chuckled, rolled her eyes at me, and said, "Then aren't you going back? I'll help you with the rest. You're not
worried I won't do it well, are you?"

"Okay, I really couldn't write a single word just now. I'll treat you to dinner later, thanks!" I
stopped being coy and nodded to her, saying, "Then I'll go first, damn it!"

"Vulgar!" she scolded, "I'll send it to your email when I'm done..."

After leaving the company, I wandered around the subway station, not wanting to go in, not wanting to go home, not wanting to do
anything .

For the first time in my life, I went into a bar. It was a bit early, not many people, very quiet, so I
quietly listened to the music, hiding in a corner, drinking alone.

I've never liked drinking alone, because when I drink alone, the alcohol tastes awful, hard
to swallow . But today, I thought the alcohol tasted great. I poured some liquor, I don't know what it was, into my mouth, grimaced
, and swallowed it. The liquor went down my throat to my stomach, like a burning thread. I gritted my teeth and said, "Good,
fucking awesome!"

When the resident singer started singing, I was already a little tipsy. A girl sat on a chair with a guitar,
her straight hair covering half her face in the dim light. She must be a pretty woman, just like her
pleasant, clear voice.

Guo Ying sent me a WeChat message asking when I was going home; she was sleepy. I said I was still working overtime, maybe
I wouldn't . She said, "Can you come home and get it ready?" I said, "No, you can't take the company documents home. You go
to sleep first..."

With a hint of guilt after deceiving him, I continued to pour the dark red liquid into my mouth, swallowing painfully
while cursing, "This is fucking awful!"

At this moment, the girl on stage sang:

"To save Li Lang, I left my home, who would have thought that I would become the top scholar in the imperial examination,

wearing a red robe and a palace flower in my hat, so fresh and new.

Li Lang's dream is over, where is that romantic man now?

From ancient times to the present, it's a long story, but it's all about love.

What is the suffering in this world? I'm afraid I won't be able to meet you.

This world is a bit fake, but I inexplicably fell in love with him.

Twenty years have passed like a dream, and I still don't understand love or feelings.

The songwriter is a hypocrite, and the listener is the most heartless .

Outside the Peony Pavilion, the rain falls in torrents, who is the one who is returning? You might not

be the one who is returning. Tell me clearly, who have you put there

..."

The song in my ears made me stunned, the cup in my hand resting on my lips, motionless. Until I heard
"Twenty years have passed like a dream, still not understanding love or affection" again , my nose suddenly stung, and I couldn't help but
down my drink in one gulp, muttering to myself, "Youth knows no sorrow," then laughing self-deprecatingly
until welled up. I tried to hold them back, saying, "Damn, what a fine autumn day!"

Just then, the phone rang. I picked it up impatiently and asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me! I sent the stuff to your email, check it quickly... Why is it so noisy? Where are you?"

"Oh, thanks! Want to come over for a drink?" I slurred.

"Oh? By yourself?"

"Of course! Coming or not?!"

"Well... wait for me."

The girl who sang was gone, quietly leaving with her guitar. I wondered if I'd ever see
her again. Perhaps the next time I came here, she wouldn't be there anymore.

"Twenty years have passed like a dream, and I still don't understand love or affection. The songwriter is a hypocrite, and the listener is
the most heartless. But my favorite is naturalness. Where are the romantics now? No matter who it is, we can't escape
love . You ask me what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid of not meeting you. Did you walk past me, in a fleeting moment...

" "Oh, you're singing by yourself?" She arrived unnoticed, smiling sweetly
.

"You scared me to death!" I squinted angrily.

"You're so annoying today! So hot-tempered!" she scolded.

"I'm annoyed! Either drink with me or get out of here!" I waved my hand impatiently.

"You!" She kicked me with her sharp high heels, saying, "You're such a scoundrel! You let me come over
and then told me to get out! Fine, I'll get out!"

"Don't go!" Seeing that she really turned to leave, I grabbed her hand, a bit too forcefully, and
pulled her down into the chair.

"I'm so angry!" she said, frowning, struggling to free her hand from my grasp.

"I apologize! I was wrong! I'm a jerk! I'm foul-mouthed! I'm a piece of trash! Is that okay?"

"You're just a scoundrel!" she scolded, seemingly calming down a bit.

I smiled wryly, "Then tell me, what should I do to make you stop being angry?"

"Let go! Then I won't be angry anymore..." she said, forcefully freeing her hand, rubbing it and
scolding , "Why did you use so much force..."

I called the waiter over and let her order her own drinks. Smelling the fragrance on her, I said to her, "
Did do something wrong again?"

"Huh?" she looked up, puzzled.

"I think I shouldn't have called you here. You should have gone home..." I said, scratching my head.

"Are you crazy today! You called me all this way and then keep trying to get rid of me?" she finally
snapped , angrily.

"You misunderstood... I just felt I shouldn't have hit you again..." I
blurted .

"What do you mean?!" she said, blushing.

"What do you think?" I said, squinting at her.

"You...! You pervert!" she cursed.

I thought she would get up in embarrassment and anger, turning her head to say "Shameless!" before leaving.

But that didn't happen. What's going on? What's wrong with me today? The world feels so unfamiliar,
so fake.

"Aren't you leaving?" I asked, puzzled.

"Why should I leave?" she said, pursing her lips.

"Aren't you afraid I'll ruin you?"

"You?" she glanced at me disdainfully.

"Damn it!" I muttered under my breath, "I just ruined a girl today, so I'm feeling really bad,
so I came to have a drink..."

"Oh?" she finally looked up and looked at me directly. Her eyes were big, but her eyelids were single-lidded, and her eyebrows
were drawn on, slender like a crescent moon. "When you went out this afternoon? I was wondering why you were gone for so long...
" she said, pursing her lips.

"Actually, I didn't do anything when I went out..." I shook my dizzy head vigorously and said,
"Oh, no, I just hugged and kissed someone, and then came back, haha..." After saying that, I
laughed like a madman, laughing so hard I bent over.

"You're sick!" she said.

"Yeah, I'm fucking crazy! Haha, you don't know, I took her virginity last year, and then I slept with her again last time.
I thought she wouldn't talk to me anymore, but who would have thought, haha, I... haha, it's hilarious, she actually said she
missed me, missed me... haha, isn't that stupid?" I said, laughing unrestrainedly.

She stared at me in disbelief. I looked at her through the tears in my eyes and continued, "I thought she
wasn't a virgin, but after sleeping with her, I realized I was wrong. I just wanted to play around, but after meeting her today, I realized I was wrong again
. She actually told me she missed me! Haha, isn't that stupid?!..."

"You cried..." she said.

"Did I? Haha," I wiped my face and said, "This is from laughing. Don't you think what I said is hilarious?
I'm fucking dying of laughter! Why aren't you laughing? Isn't it funny? Haha... isn't that stupid? It's
fucking "

"Yes, she's stupid!" she said, biting her lip.

"No! She's not stupid! She once had aspirations, had hope... The truly stupid one is me! No, I'm
not stupid either, I'm just shameless..." I said, clutching my head in anguish.

"Yes, you are quite shameless!" she said.

"Thank you! That's the most honest thing I've heard all day. Damn it, everything else is fake...
Songwriters are hypocrites, listeners are the most heartless..." I asked her, "Am I very heartless?"

She nodded and said, "Yes, you are very heartless!"

"I dare not not be heartless! I'm afraid of falling in love with her, I dare not fall in love with her, haha... I'm so shameless! I
actually made up such an excuse for myself, haha... Let's drink!"

She hadn't touched the glass in front of her, so I reached out and grabbed it, saying, "
Why drinking? Are you really afraid I'll ruin you if you drink too much? Haha..."

Unexpectedly, she snatched the glass, tilted her head back, and drank it all in one gulp, saying to me contemptuously, "You? You've had too much to drink
..."

"Yeah, I've had too much to drink. You should go home," I said, swaying as I stood up, leaning on the table. "Looks like
I can't take you home..."

"You go too!" she said.

"Me? Where to? I don't want to go home. I'll get bitten to death by girls...it hurts!" I
shook my head vigorously.

"Come on! Let's go out and sober up!" she said, pulling my clothes towards the door.

"What song were you humming just now?" she asked.

The wind stung my face, but it also cleared my head a little. I said, "I can't remember.
I heard it before. A girl sang it before you came. It was really catchy."

"Just whining..." she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, a little," I said with a wry smile. "Hmm? Are you talking about me or her?"

"Of course I'm talking about...you two!" she said, covering her mouth with a laugh.

"..."

"Shall I take you home?" she asked.

"Huh?" I exclaimed, startled. "It can't be that bad! Besides, I don't want to, uh, I'm afraid to go home. If
I tell her I'm working overtime tonight, and I go home reeking of alcohol, I'm doomed!"

"A shrewish wife at home?" she asked with a squinting smile.

"It's alright," I replied with a wry smile, "It's painful but pleasurable..."

"You have a tigress at home and still go out looking for food?" she said, pursing her lips.

"..."

"What are you going to do later? You're not going to spend the night on the street, are you?" she asked.

"I'll just get a hotel room..." I said, then, emboldened by the alcohol, I grinned mischievously, "Want to come along?"

She blushed and glared at me, scolding, "You pervert!"

"What's with the pretense? We're all adults. After tonight, we'll have nothing left, won't we?" I looked down at my
flushed face and laughed.

"Do you often do this?" she asked with a smile.

"Hmm?"

"You always invite me so directly and blatantly..."

"Let me think," I shook my head and said, "I think this is the first time. I've always been very
reserved , haha..."

She rolled her eyes at me and said, "We're colleagues..."

"Oh?" I looked her up and down and asked with a smile, "You mean...?"

"I'm leaving, I'm not going to bother with you anymore!" she said with a smile.

"How about you take me to a hotel..." I said, shrugging.

"No!" she said.

"..."

I watched her get into a taxi, then the window rolled down, and she smiled at me and said, "Goodbye!"

Damn it! I cursed at the taxi that drove away.

Huh? Did she pay the bill just now? Damn it, what the hell...

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