A father will always be a father.

I've known since I was little that I have an aunt, the youngest of my father's siblings. She married into a rural family in XXX, and they lived a very frugal life; I never heard of her having an easy time. Because of this, my father always mobilized his sisters to help his aunt—sending money, bringing things, and even personally helping with house renovations.

In early September of the year I got married, news came from my aunt's family that her son was getting married and invited my father and several other aunts to the wedding banquet. Normally, my father had never taken me with him when he went there before because it was hard life there, and I wasn't used to the conditions, so I never considered going. But the day before my father was to leave, my husband and I had a fight. He had a bad day at work and took it out on me when he got home. In a fit of anger, I went back to my parents' house. When I got home, I found out that my younger brother had already planned to have some friends stay at our house for a few days and was trying to coax me to go back, or go with my father. I felt too embarrassed to go home, so I decided to go with my father.

He argued with me right after we got married, and I wanted to go see a doctor for him—that's what my colleagues at work told me when I complained to them on the phone. Of course, since those kind-hearted women encouraged me, they would help me take time off and handle my work affairs, so there was nothing to worry about. Although

my aunt's house is said to be far away, transportation is convenient now. We took the train from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. to the city where my aunt's family lives. There, my eldest aunt was waiting with her grandson, and my cousin, a representative of my second aunt's family, was already waiting. Then we boarded a bus to the county town, and from there, we hired a minivan to go directly to my aunt's village. Her house is only two or three kilometers from the village, not too remote.

Although it's a rural area, the rustic atmosphere is still very attractive, especially to my cousin and me. My father and aunts were busy discussing plans and getting busy, while my cousin and I wandered around, always excitedly talking about the strange people and things we saw.

The first night we arrived, we were the only relatives at my aunt's house, so there was a place to sleep. The next day, a group of my uncle's relatives arrived, creating a problem with where to stay. The surrounding area was filled with my uncle's cousins, who all warmly invited us to stay. However, my aunt and uncle felt that accommodating their rural relatives was fine, but as city dwellers, we wouldn't sleep well, so they insisted on staying in a hotel in town. To be honest, they had a whole bunch of distant relatives, all with their families, making it difficult to find accommodation even when sharing with the surrounding families. So we went to town, only to find out that oil had been discovered there, and the exploration team had cleared all the houses, leaving only one room. There were two beds slightly larger than single beds, and we, the five of us, had to sleep in it! What a predicament!

My cousin, seeing the situation, secretly ran back home. My dad wanted my aunt and her grandson to stay, and we should also go back, but my aunt insisted on going back with the child so it would be too crowded. My uncle was also in a difficult position, because everything was already arranged at home. My cousin, being a man, could squeeze in, but it would be difficult to find accommodation for the rest of us. Finally, I got sleepy too, so I suggested that my dad and I share a bed, and my aunt and grandson sleep in the other two or three nights.

That was the only option. Father and daughter are close, and while we talked about it without a care, it felt awkward when we actually slept together. It was early September, and still hot, so we were already wearing very little, and taking off our clothes would leave us naked. So my dad only took off his outer garment, and we slept like that, fully clothed. My aunt, however, took off all her clothes except for her vest and underwear, and even undressed her grandson before going to sleep. After we lay down, she kept muttering things like, "We're family, what are you afraid of? Can we sleep well without taking our clothes off?"

We didn't sleep well that night; it was hot, and there were mosquitoes.

The third day was the wedding day, and there were so many people. The banquet was set up in the courtyard, children ran around, dogs followed, suona horns blared, and drums pounded. My cousin and I also helped out, busying ourselves all day. That evening, after watching the wedding night festivities, around 11 pm, my dad came wobbling over, saying that if we didn't leave soon, my aunt's grandson would wake up and cause trouble in the middle of the night (the child's sleep schedule was reversed, and he couldn't sleep at night). So, we asked some of my uncle's younger relatives to take us to town in a three-wheeled farm vehicle.

My dad had drunk a bit too much, and I pulled him to take off his clothes to sleep. I also took off my jeans; I slept so badly last night that I hadn't taken off my short-sleeved shirt, and it looked too unsightly. I

was so tired that once I lay down, I knew nothing more. In my dream, I was with my husband, and he shamelessly apologized, pestering me to have sex. I pretended to be angry, but I was secretly very happy, letting him touch and kiss me. The dream was blurry; I only remember being very excited and wanting him to penetrate me. As soon as he did, I woke up. Oh no, someone really did penetrate me! The lights were off, and I couldn't immediately tell where I was. Was it my house? Was my husband holding me?

As soon as I became slightly more alert, my head started spinning. I could hear my aunt snoring, and vaguely see her bottom sticking out of her floral-patterned underwear. I panicked and didn't know what to do. I let my dad hold me, not daring to move. It was

quiet all around, unbearably hot. I didn't dare move my dad's arm because he was hard inside me. I was afraid that if I moved, he would wake up, and what would I do then?

When you don't know what to do, you can only stay still. I understood that saying, so I stayed in that position until I was completely awake and calm. But even when I was calm, I couldn't think of any other way. I just assumed my dad was asleep. But continuing to stay in that position prompted my dad to move. He seemed to mutter something, and his body shifted. Of course, his penis moved too, and as a result, it seemed like he felt comfortable or something, and he started to slowly and forcefully move his penis (that's how I explained it to myself at the time). His movements were slow, but powerful. His was thicker than my husband's; I could feel it reaching deep inside, causing a throbbing pain.

My buttocks were wet, probably from before I woke up, or maybe from sweat—anyway, I was covered in sweat.

His movements left me numb, but a different worry immediately popped into my head: that he might be thinking he was having sex with a woman in his sleep, getting excited and shouting or saying something that my aunt might hear.

Sure enough, he tightened his grip on me, breathing heavily on my neck, his breath reeking of alcohol. His hands became restless, touching my stomach, trying to slip under my clothes. I instinctively moved my hand, then realized I couldn't move, couldn't disturb him. I endured his touch, letting him grab my breasts, bra and all. His hands were large; his grip felt like he was holding onto something important. He thrust even harder, slowly, but each thrust went deeper. After a few thrusts, I couldn't take it anymore. It felt a little swollen and painful, but the pleasure was quickly aroused, spreading throughout my body like a wisp of silk.

The tension, after transforming into excitement, still lingered, but it made the excitement come even faster and more intensely. My husband's penis is shorter, so I had never experienced so much pleasure from the swollen pain. So, when one is excited, one doesn't realize how easily one's thoughts can become irrational. When my husband suddenly stopped moving, I forgot that the momentum came from him, and my own buttocks suddenly became the driving force, pushing against him. After only a couple of thrusts, I realized this was wrong, so I stopped and maintained my position.

He remained motionless, and the pleasure I was just beginning to experience could only stop there.

A long time passed, and his breathing seemed very light. Suddenly, he rolled over, lying flat on his back, his arms and genitals simultaneously leaving me—so quickly, in an instant. My body was freed from his embrace, feeling a chill, but my full lower body suddenly felt empty, as if I had lost something, as if I had no support.

I was covered in sweat. I held it in for a while, and when I felt no movement, I lay down flat. Only then did I realize that the bed was wet around my lower body.

The night was quiet, and all I could hear was my aunt's snoring. A woman's snoring is so unpleasant; it's like she has asthma, struggling to breathe, as if she'd be suffocating if she didn't make such a loud noise every time. My dad's breathing was even, and seemed a little longer than before. I guessed he was sleeping soundly, so I slowly moved my arms, pulled out the pillowcase to wipe the sweat, and gently wiped my neck and head. Then I groped around with the blanket to wipe the sweaty areas around my body.
这期间，我爸一直没有动过姿势，我不知道当时怎幺想的，是想看他的裤头穿上没，还是什幺意思，反正我下意思的用屁股挪了一下，马上挨上他的胯，腿的感觉是挨到肉，但没发现想要的，紧张再次袭来。

现在这个事情已经过去快１０年了，也接触了很多有关性的想法和知识，才明白性是和紧张刺激联系在一起的，要不怎幺有人喜欢三ｐ，交换，还有ｓｍ，更有露阴等等，都是在紧张中体会刺激。

当时我紧张起来后，就更加好奇，并且更加兴奋。我记得手都有点抖，却伸向了我爸的下体。我先把手挪到我肚子上，慢慢慢慢地往过移动，哪个过程非常刺激，我一辈子都忘记不了。但当手刚接触到他的皮肤，就像比蛰一样缩了回来，我没有哪个胆量。没有胆量，但紧张带来的刺激依然存在，它使我在努力想办法。脑子在急速转动下很灵光，我马上想好一个办法，可以假装睡着了，突然翻身，把他当成老公，手顺势去摸他那里。

计划有了，就开始酝酿行动。我要先做好已经睡熟的样子，很可笑，半夜里，也许我爸早睡熟，做这个样子谁知道呢，但当时就是那样想的，也那样做的。用了很久，思量了好多遍动作要领，并享受计划过程带来的快感，快感使我下身不停流着水水，呵呵，有点笑话人了。

实际上想来想去，做的时候就那幺简单，我翻身发挥的非常好，还把腿都半搭在他身上，手自然就摸到那里。他的那湿糊糊，软搭搭地，裤头是褪到胯间的，我腿搭在那能感觉到。既然到这个份上了，我只能抓着，紧张使我感觉自己手在发抖。

我爸没有动一下，我也不敢动，抓着这个，我就后悔的了不得，想着要怎幺才能恢复到不抓的状态，又要计划思谋，累不呀。

事情是变化的，装着睡觉却不知道如何计划离开的时候，哪个东西在我手里慢慢硬了起来，我一下警觉地连呼吸都屏住了，想听听我爸是不是醒了。半响，什幺变化都没有，只是哪个东西竖立着在我手中。放下心，才感觉我爸的的确很粗壮，比老公的粗些，也长很多。研究只是凭握着的感觉，手又不敢动。

在这当口，我爸好象突然醒了，手一下擦着我伸过来，我吓的一下就缩回了手，不敢动。却听到重重的挠腿声，挠了几下，还没等我反映过来，就翻身像我压来。他的身体魁梧，正好把我又包裹起来，搂在怀里。

这下完了，他到底醒着没，反正他手就那幺伸进我裤头里，直接摸到地方了，同时，他的头也过来了，偎着我的头发喘气。

因为那里有水，他指头滑着就进来了，手很大，巴掌基本整个握着我的阴部，只指头出进蠕动。好象他的头在找我的嘴，就那样在亲吻我的头发。酒气很大，迎面过来。

我很快又进入状态，明显感觉他的下身戳着我肚皮在一下一下动作。我渴望感觉越来越厉害。

刚翻过来的动作在几下之后减速了，指头也慢下来，下身也慢下来。我的欲火正是刚点着。等他所有动作就要停止的时候，我顾不了许多的硬是向外翻过身去，在那翻身的瞬间，我没忘记把裤头拉下，翻过来，感觉他也要翻身的样子，赶紧把屁股向他顶过去。果然，他没翻，而是又搂住我，下身也贴上来了。

我的动作惊动了他，他好象又记起刚才是在做爱，下身又开始动作，我用屁股慢慢移动着寻找，就那幺让他又进入了。

这次很短暂，我思维里记不得细节了，因为要享受高潮。只感觉他还是慢，也许还不如前次那幺顶的有力，但很快我就高潮了。

我高潮的时候会夹紧腿，浑身剧烈抖动，这是我老公详细地给我描述过的。这次我高潮是如此多，因为不能叫出声，所以憋的久，散的慢，可能当时就把我爸弄清醒了（当时是那样认为的）。当我快感开始消退的时候，我感觉他在慢慢往外抽。那时候女人还是需要哪个插里面的，我当然不允许，屁股就跟着他，不让它出去。他没再动，一直等我消退完毕。

欲望一满足，现实马上回来。有有些感觉自己龌龊，想离开他身体，但他还搂着我，而且下面还硬着。我又想他可能需要解决，等等再说。

半天，看他没有动的意思，也没放开我的意思，我就试探着用屁股提醒他。果然，他开始动作。当时我认为他是醒的，到这步，也不顾忌，把头靠着床边上，屁股厥着给他弄。

因为有姑姑的呼噜声提示，前面她声音小过一两回，我和我爸（他要是醒着）都可以判断。所以伴随着她的呼噜，他可以放心运作。但他仍然那样慢慢地抽插，有时候感觉稍微快点，但有慢下来。当我渐渐要进入第二次状态的时候，他可不动了，停止了。我只好用屁股怼他，越憝似乎他越想抽出去，直到我意识到他要射，才一下伸手扳住他的胯骨，于是他射了。

他一离开我屁股，我马上拉上裤头，怕流到床单上。等我整理好，他似乎并没有整理他的裤头，只是平躺着睡。我把我把小被子干脆掀掉，凉快着，不再去想这个事情。

脑子里没想头，很快就入睡了。

早上我感觉我爸从我身上跨过去，起床走了，我又迷迷糊糊地挨到姑姑和她孙子起来叫我，我说今天要多睡，让他们先走。估计她们走远了，才爬起来，裤头是丝的，已经让精液流的湿透了，床上也有。

我接了点水，尝试洗一下，但怎幺搭起来凉啊，正发愁，看见扫院子的旅馆老板老婆，就叫她过来，告诉她我晚上来月经了，流了点，洗了一下，她说没关系，血已经看不到了，她拿去给我换一个床单就是了。

现在最大的问题是，今天怎幺面对我爸呢。越想越愁，就这幺想着愁着往村里走，连有人把农用车开过来喊我都没听到。坐车回去，表哥已经在院落门口等我了，他拉我去新房，说有人正闹呢。我跟过去，原来一帮年轻人非要他们的床单看有没有红，我马上想起旅馆的床单，脸就烧，觉得周围人都在看我，好象他们已经知道了一样，我头又大了。

出来，表哥叫我去姑夫那个房间问个好，我知道我爸在那里，怎幺进去呢？可表哥拉着我不放。进去后，姑姑正大声说昨晚的事情，说我爸喝多了，我爸好象什幺事情都没发生，只是眼睛红着，好象没睡好的样子。他承认自己喝多了，给姑夫姑姑们说晚上把我闹腾的也没睡好，看脸色差的。这些谈论让我扎心的害怕，但听完了，心情倒放松了。于是应付了一下，就出来进厨房找吃的，真饿，原来饿和心情心思有关系。

我们还住了一晚才走，睡觉前我发愁，但睡下后又想，最后什幺事情都没有，我爸睡的死，我睡的香。

这件事情就这样结束了，只是留在脑子里不停琢磨，有时候非常兴奋，自卫一番，当然过后也会自责一番。

Until two years ago, my dad had gastrectomy surgery. Later, the wound became infected, and he stayed in the hospital for over a month. My brother and I mainly took turns caring for him. At first, he had my brother do all the diaper changes, sometimes even letting the nurses do it rather than calling me. Later, I said, "We're father and daughter, blood relatives, what's there to be afraid of? You're old and can't move, so I'm not going to take care of you?" He didn't object anymore, and I saw his genitals again. I diapered his urine and feces, cleaned him, and even cleaned his genitals. At that moment, I realized that I had no impure thoughts. I didn't have any of the questions I'd been thinking about all these years about how that thing had entered me, or any of the dirty guilt I felt. Whether he was asleep or awake at the time, family was the most important thing.
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A father will always be a father.

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