[The mother of a Sichuan opera actress]

It was the summer of 2014, during the quadrennial

FIFA World Cup. The World Cup's allure to men is no less than that of sports cars and beautiful women. Statistics show that crime rates plummet worldwide during the tournament, demonstrating its immense influence. While I'm not a die-hard fan, I wouldn't miss such a global event.

I can't remember the exact date, but the match that day was the most intense of the tournament so far. The two teams were England and Cameroon. England was a world-class, long-established European powerhouse, while their opponent, Cameroon, was a dark horse from Africa in incredible form. Who would emerge victorious? It seemed only a close contest would determine the winner.

Such an exciting match naturally required my attention. So, before the game even started, I was already seated in front of the television, my focus more intense than a primary school student in class. As soon as the referee blew his whistle, I shouted excitedly, "Okay, the show is finally starting!"

Taking advantage of the brief lull when the score was 0-0, I quickly opened the refrigerator, took out a can of ice-cold beer, sat down on the sofa in front of the TV, opened the can, and took a few sips. Just then, the game turned into a thrilling offensive and defensive battle.

"Good! Excellent, haha, past him! Yes! Past number 8, kick it, kick it! Ugh, stupid, fucking stupid! Such a good chance, and you just let it slip away, what a pity!"

"Zhi Jun, what's wrong with you? Do you have to shout like that while watching TV?"

My mother, who had just finished showering, came out of the bathroom and sat down next to me. While drying her hair with a towel, she said reproachfully, "Look at how excited you are. You're almost thirty, and you're still so immature. How will you be a father in the future?"

"Mom, please don't call me Zhi Jun anymore. I've changed my name, it sounds awful."

My original name was Zhi Jun, and my mother had always called me "Little Zhi Jun" or "Zhi Jun's son." I didn't really care about the name; it was just a name. My wife, however, didn't see it that way. Before we got married, it wasn't a big deal, but after we married, she insisted that I change my name. She thought "Zhi Jun" was too awkward and gave off an arrogant vibe. She also couldn't stand my mother calling me "Little Zhi Jun" or "Zhi Jun son" all the time, saying it gave her goosebumps.

I thought she was being unreasonable, and we argued about it more than once, but my wife remained stubborn. I was at my wit's end. We're together every day; we can't argue 365 days a year. In the end, I gave in. I went to the household registration department of the Public Security Bureau and changed "Situ Zhi Jun" to "Situ Jun." My wife wasn't entirely satisfied, but she reluctantly accepted it. However, my mother was furious when she found out, believing that my daughter-in-law had no right to change her decision. Sigh… it's true what they say, pleasing one woman pleases the other. Being caught between two women, finding a balance is never easy.

Every time I mention changing my name, my mother gets furious, and today was no exception. She looked displeased and said, "I've had this name for decades. You never said anything before, but now that you've married, you say it's awful. What kind of logic is that? Does having a wife mean you can abandon your mother? I don't care what your wife wants you to change it to, but I gave you this name, and unless I die, I'll keep calling you that."

I didn't reply, but I disagreed. My wife's capriciousness is certainly wrong, but my mother, as an elder, shouldn't be so stubborn. It's just a name, what's there to fuss about? No wonder people say "a woman's heart is like a needle at the bottom of the sea"—women are always annoying, whether it's my mother or my wife, they're all the same!

I tried to focus on the game, forcing myself not to think about unhappy things, but emotions, once affected, are hard to control.

Although I was frustrated by my inability to concentrate, my mother's complaints didn't stop. However, she clearly sensed my dissatisfaction, so her tone wasn't as harsh as before. She said, "Mom knows you're unhappy. You must think I'm petty, but changing a name is such an important matter, and you didn't even discuss it with me. Can you blame me for being angry?"

"It's already changed, what else can I do? Can I change it back?" I didn't know how to answer my mother, so I used this excuse to appease her dissatisfaction.

"Of course you can't change it back. Do you think this is like a child playing in the mud? Changing it as you please, not taking it if you don't like it."

My mother put down the bath towel she was holding, took a can of beer from the refrigerator, unscrewed it, and handed it to me. I threw away the empty can, took it, took a sip, and sighed, "Changing the name was Xiaohui's idea. If Mom isn't satisfied, then it's up to you. Just be as you like, that's fine." My mother suddenly chuckled, "My son is just like that, even if you change his name, he'll still be just like that!"

The tense atmosphere was broken by my mother's witty remark with double meaning. I laughed and said, "Mom is a great beauty. If she didn't have a son like Jun, wouldn't that be a joke?" My mother's eyes lit up with joy. I seized the opportunity and said, "When it's just the two of us, Mom can call you whatever she wants. But if Xiaohui is around, could you change your address to avoid misunderstandings?"

My mother's smile suddenly stiffened. "What's the point of being so secretive? It's better not to call you that."

I said urgently, "I know this is unfair to Mom, but it's the only way!"

My mother looked at me silently for a long time before saying, "Mom knows you have difficulties. If you don't want to call me that, then don't. From now on, I'll call you Xiao Jun. That way, your wife won't have an excuse to argue, and I'll feel better."

"Not Xiao Jun, just Jun Jun is fine too."

My mother's understanding was touching. For some reason, I unconsciously started making a witty remark. Perhaps this is an instinctive tendency for sons to be affectionate with their mothers when they're happy. My mother laughed heartily.

"Junjun? Haha! Son, stop teasing your mother. Are you still a child? If I call you Junjun, who knows what your wife will think of it? I'll just call you Xiaojun. Let your wife enjoy the nickname Junjun all to herself."

After some joking, the minor incident between my mother and me finally subsided with laughter.

Hearing this, some people might think my mother is demanding and difficult to get along with. Actually, this is a misunderstanding. Everyone who has met her knows that my mother is a generous and refined woman. With a higher education, she has excellent cultural literacy and has never argued with anyone in decades. At her workplace, everyone affectionately calls her "Big Sister." My mother was already in her

early fifties at the time. From her graduation assignment to her retirement, she worked at the Chengdu Sichuan Opera Troupe and was a famous performing artist who received a special national allowance for many years. Although my mother had been famous for decades, she had no airs whatsoever, which is why she was so popular.

Because of a thigh injury sustained during early training, my mother retired from performing at a young age to become an artistic director. She stepped down from her position as deputy head and artistic director, but despite her retirement, she remained concerned about the troupe's development and was soon rehired as its artistic advisor.

My mother loved her work, but she loved me, her only son, even more. Fate seemed to have been particularly kind to us; despite the extravagance of the Great Leap Forward and the turmoil of the Cultural Revolution, we were fortunately never separated.

My childhood was uneventful, yet fulfilling. I can't remember what my father looked like. My mother divorced him when I was very young. As for the reason, my mother always kept it a secret. I didn't ask, nor did I intend to. Decades had passed, and since I was old enough to understand, I had never seen this man called my father again. Strangely, my mother never mentioned him to me either, as if he didn't exist.

I don't know why my mother hates my father so much, but I don't care anyway. For decades, I've only lived with my mother. If one day, my father, who has been missing for decades, suddenly appears in front of me, I really don't know whether I'll feel pain or joy.

Logically, a father and son reuniting should be a cause for joy, but this man who has never fulfilled his paternal duties is not a good thing for either my mother or me. Decades of shared life have instilled in me a kind of resistance, an aversion to any external emotions.

Perhaps my mother also has this resistance, which explains her dissatisfaction with my marriage. My current wife, Qin Xiaohui, is someone I met at a friend's gathering. Although I could tell my mother didn't like Xiaohui, I still married her.

After the marriage, I suggested that my mother move in with us. But she always politely declined, citing the inconvenience of her troupe's unpredictable tours. These are flimsy excuses; would her presence really interfere with her performances? I certainly don't believe it. My mother

never comes to our house on her own initiative. Although she hasn't given a reason, I can tell she's dissatisfied with Xiaohui, even resentful. I'm very troubled, wondering what my wife did to offend my mother. Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law improved somewhat later, my mother's attitude remains lukewarm.

Every time I visit my mother, I notice how much she has aged. Although decades of rigorous exercise have kept her in good shape, the signs of age on her face are undeniable. But no matter what, her elegance is undeniable; she is a perfect blend of classical and modern beauty!

Some say that women in the arts of dance have angelic faces and devilish figures. I don't remember much about whether my mother was as beautiful as an angel in her youth, but if you say she is a kind and beautiful Virgin Mary now, I absolutely agree. As for her figure, I think "devilish" is quite apt.

Although she is over fifty, her figure is not much different from that of a woman in her early thirties.

Maintaining such a good figure is certainly related to her attention to her sleep schedule and balanced diet, but we cannot deny the effect of her two hours of daily dance training.

By any standard, my mother's charm is undeniable! Although the passage of time cannot stop the graying of black hair, modern hair dyeing technology can make up for the regrets of age.

People often say, "A woman past her prime still retains her charm!" This saying is not an exaggeration when it comes to my mother. If one day you happen to meet her on the street, you will not believe that this full-figured and charming woman is already over fifty.

Whenever my mother and I are alone, she sometimes jokingly calls me "little brother." I have no reason to refute it, because every time we go shopping, we are mistaken for siblings. There's nothing I can do; my mother looks so young, and her son is so mature.

I don't know what others think of my mother, but my wife, Xiaohui, greatly admires her mother-in-law. When we first got married, she would always praise my mother, both in public and in private. However, my mother didn't seem to appreciate it much. Even on her best occasion, she would just smile indifferently, as if her daughter-in-law's praise could not change her preconceived notions.

I don't understand why my mother is like this. As a wife, Xiaohui was generally competent. She was not only beautiful but also had a generous and easygoing personality. Frankly, a wife like that isn't easy to find. Of course, Xiaohui had her flaws; she was a bit childish and temperamental. But why couldn't we be more understanding of a young woman who had just become a wife? After all, she was only in her early twenties and lacked life experience.

Xiaohui cried to me more than once about her mother's indifference. I knew she was wronged, but what could I say? My mother and my wife were both my closest relatives; I should help either of them, but helping either would be wrong.

Xiaohui didn't understand my predicament and thought I was biased towards her mother. From then on, Xiaohui stopped going home alone. To her, anywhere in the world was warmer than her in-laws' home. Strangely, her mother never paid any attention to this, which made Xiaohui even more reluctant to see her mother-in-law. Even during holidays and family reunions, she would only eat a few bites before insisting on going back. My mother always watched me coldly, only saying when I was about to leave, "Come home more often. I'm getting old and afraid of being lonely."

Whenever she said this, I always saw a deep, unspoken disappointment in her melancholy eyes. I didn't answer, though I felt bad inside. All I could do was increase the number of times I went home.

At first, Xiaohui was very sensitive to my visits, afraid her mother-in-law would cause trouble. So, though reluctant, she always accompanied me, even staying close by. However, after a few times, Xiaohui stopped coming. She realized that while her mother-in-law's attitude towards her remained lukewarm, I loved her as always, so what was there to worry about?

With my wife's tacit approval, I gradually increased the number of times I visited my mother. However, I never stayed overnight, because I worried Xiaohui wouldn't be comfortable sleeping alone; she's timid and afraid of the dark. Although my mother is also afraid of the dark, she's used to living alone for decades and knows how to handle unexpected situations calmly. So, every time my mother tried to persuade me to stay, I would refuse with some excuse. I could see the sadness in her eyes, but how could I leave my wife alone to share the joy of family with my mother?

My eyes were on the television, but my mind was wandering. I thought of my wife again—how was Xiaohui doing?

My mother had dried her hair. She stood up, went to the towel rack, hung up her towel, then opened the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of orange juice, and sat down beside me to watch TV together.

My mother had no interest in the football match; she just wanted to sit next to me and share my excitement and joy. In her words, that was enough for her. And that

's exactly what she did. Every time I came home, she wanted me to watch TV with her for a while, regardless of whether she liked the program or not, as long as we sat quietly together. At these times, my mother would be very excited and a little thrilled. She often said that only in this moment was I truly her son, and only then could the distance between mother and son be so close… Each time, I would only smile and remain silent, but my heart was filled with anxiety. My mother's burning gaze made me uneasy. I had been through it all; I knew that look well—a look containing the desires of men and women, a look a son should never see in his mother's eyes. As the burning in my mother's eyes intensified, my unease grew stronger. I clearly sensed that a normal relationship with my mother would be difficult to maintain.

I felt fear, not because I disliked my mother; on the contrary, I loved her very much. I was just worried that one day, I might inadvertently do something I shouldn't have. After the impulse subsided, how would we face each other's future relationship? Could we still be at peace as mother and son?

Worry tormented me constantly, but I couldn't avoid it. I couldn't reduce the number of times I went home to visit my mother because of my own doubts. My mother was innocent; I couldn't build my so-called rationality on her suffering.

Knowing the outcome was bad, I could only continue. This wasn't to prove how great I was; my actions only showed that in the face of family affection, so-called rationality and reason were insignificant.

Faced with my mother's increasingly intense love, I could only find excuses for myself. I thought, my mother has worked hard for most of her life, and it's only natural that she would rely on her son in her old age. After all, she's in her forties, and it's normal for her to speak a little incoherently; there's no other meaning behind it, and I'm just overthinking it.

"Xiaojun, are you watching TV or thinking about something?" My mother asked with concern when she saw me lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing! Aren't I watching TV?"

"If you weren't thinking about anything, would you be so absent-minded? Who would believe you if you said you were watching TV?"

My mother was clearly dissatisfied with my answer. Afraid she'd misunderstand, I lied and said, "I suddenly remembered there's a basin of clothes soaking that hasn't been washed yet. They'll probably smell bad if left too long." My mother's tense face relaxed, and she asked with a smile, "How long are you soaking them?" I replied, "About three or four days." "Lazybones, still like this even after getting married." My mother's eyes were full of tenderness, the unique love a mother has for her son. "Silly boy, why don't you bring them back and let Mom wash them for you?" "Wouldn't that be too much trouble for you?"

"Xiao Jun, do you hate Mom? Otherwise, why would you say such hurtful things?" My mother's strong reaction surprised me. Looking at my mother's slightly red eyes, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Such an ordinary question could make her so angry. Was my mother making a mountain out of a molehill? To avoid further embarrassment, I smiled and said, "Mom, what are you saying? It's just washing clothes. Since you're so interested, I'll just wash all your clothes from now on." "Okay, as long as you're willing to give them to me, I'll take care of it. Even more is no problem." "My mother knew I wasn't being honest, but she was still very happy. Seeing her relaxed expression, I was genuinely pleased, but outwardly I said seriously, 'Then it's a deal, Mom, don't go back on your word later.' 'Sigh, forget it, even if I agreed, I'm afraid your wife wouldn't.' My mother seemed to remember something, and her mood suddenly turned somber. My heart skipped a beat, and for a moment I didn't know how to answer. My mother realized she had let something slip and quickly changed her tune, saying, 'Xiaojun, are you really not going home tonight?' Although my eyes were fixed on the game on TV, my mind was elsewhere. Although my mother didn't say anything, I could still feel the subtle change in her tone; that trembling from the heart couldn't be concealed by feigned calmness.

'I'm not going home. The game tonight is so exciting, it would be a pity not to watch it. Besides, this kind of event only happens once every four years, how can I easily miss it?' 'You're not going home even after the game?'" "

My mother asked again, her voice trembling even more. Though she tried her best to control her excitement, it still betrayed her feelings.

Faced with my mother's genuine emotion, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. If it weren't for the fact that I wanted to finish watching the game, I would have left immediately. But I couldn't leave, because the game had just started. To avoid disappointing my mother, I pretended to be relaxed and said, 'The game will finish close to midnight, the streetlights will be off, and it'll still be dark. Going back now? Mom, you're not joking, are you? What if I accidentally break my nose? How will I ever face anyone again?' My mother breathed a sigh of relief. She lightly punched me and scolded, 'You're never serious. By the way, what are your plans for the next few days?' 'Nothing much. Xiaohui went back to her parents' house, leaving me alone. It's inconvenient, so I thought I'd come back to keep you company, Mom.'" "I haven't been back to live here since I got married, and I miss it terribly. Now that I have this opportunity, I'm not going anywhere else these days, I'm just staying here. Mom, it's no use trying to kick me out. As long as Xiaohui isn't back, I'll stay here, hehe..." "Xiaojun, tell Mom, what exactly happened between you and Xiaohui?" "What happened? Nothing! Xiaohui and I are perfectly fine, nothing happened." My mother's shrewdness surprised me. I didn't understand where she saw through my lie, but I didn't have time to think about it. The only thing I could do was to deny it vehemently.

My mother looked at me without saying a word, her eyes seeming to see right through me. I felt extremely uncomfortable and said with slight annoyance, "Mom, please don't look at me like that, it's like I'm lying." My mother sighed.

"Xiaojun, don't think Mom is senile. Mom has watched you grow up since you were little. Do you think I can't tell which of your words are true and which are false?" Usually, every time you come back, it's like your feet are being scalded by boiling water; you don't want to stay even a little longer. Today you called to say you're coming back for dinner and want to stay overnight. Although you said it was to watch the World Cup, your tone revealed a kind of irritability and anxiety. Mom may be old, but she's not senile; how could I not notice these unusual behaviors? My cheeks burned. I was speechless for a moment, not knowing how to answer. I could only drink beer to cover up my embarrassment. My mother just looked at me without stopping me. She continued, "What's the big deal between two young people like you? The ancients said, 'A quarrel at the head of the bed is resolved at the foot of the bed.' Everything can be resolved. When you married Xiaohui, you should have known that she was a very childish person. As her husband, you could have just accommodated her a little. Why did you make her run back to her parents' house feeling so wronged? If outsiders knew, they would think that we, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, didn't get along and were difficult to get along with. That wouldn't be good." "My mother seemed to be in a particularly good mood tonight, and surprisingly, she even spoke well of Xiaohui. I didn't reply, but I thought to myself, 'You two, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't care if outsiders know.' 'It's already late, Xiaojun, don't go back. Tomorrow morning, you must go to your mother-in-law's and bring Xiaohui back. What kind of image is it to have your wife living at her parents' house all the time? You're not afraid of losing face, but your mother is ashamed.' At first, I thought my mother had changed her ways and was concerned about Xiaohui. But hearing this, I realized that my mother was just afraid of being gossiped about and losing face; in the end, it was all for her own sake.

Disappointed, I said indifferently, 'I'm not going. She's not missing any limbs; can't she come back on her own?

Besides, if she doesn't want to come back, it's pointless for me to go. Saying I'm not accommodating her? Are you kidding me? How am I not accommodating her? Over the years, I've treated her like a precious jewel; she's never suffered the slightest hardship.'" "Let's not talk about the distant past, just recently. Ever since I found out she was pregnant, when have I ever let her do any housework? I do all the housework myself—fetching water, sweeping, grocery shopping, cooking, washing clothes, making beds—what don't I do? And what has she done?

To put it bluntly, even… even…" I suddenly stopped, because there were some things that were really inconvenient to say. My mother, who had been listening intently, suddenly stopped, so she anxiously pressed, "Even what? Xiaojun, don't keep me in suspense." I sighed, thinking that since I had already gone all out, I couldn't worry about so much. I said, "There are some things I shouldn't have done, like washing women's underwear. Besides, it's not a strenuous job; Xiaohui could totally do it, but to let her rest better, I still did it against my will. If others knew that I washed my wife's underwear and bras, how could I face them? I did such a shameful thing, and she's still satisfied; I really don't know what to say." "Because I was emotional, I spoke without restraint. Vulgar slang that I would never normally use in front of my mother slipped out naturally.

My mother didn't seem to care; she just listened attentively. After I finished venting, she said, 'Xiaohui may have many flaws, but she's not entirely useless. I've noticed you always talk about your strengths, as if they're 100% correct. That's not good. Don't you have any flaws at all? The facts are clear: Xiaohui went back to her parents' home. If you didn't do anything wrong, why would she be so angry? So, Mom thinks that while you're criticizing Xiaohui, you should also reflect on your own shortcomings. That's the right attitude to deal with problems seriously.' I snorted. I hadn't done anything wrong; it was all just her being unreasonable. My mother smiled gently, 'Xiaojun, you usually indulge your wife too much, but today you've changed your ways. This isn't like you. Tell Mom honestly, is there any disharmony in your marriage with Xiaohui?'" "The fact that such a sensitive topic came from my mother's mouth made my head spin. I gasped, thinking, 'How could Mom say such a thing? Does she know something?' I stared at my mother in astonishment. '

Did Xiaohui tell her something?'" "

My mother smiled faintly, speaking naturally, 'Xiaojun, don't look at me like that. Your wife hasn't said anything to me. She never talks to me much, you know that…' She sighed, her expression darkening, a mixture of helplessness and unspoken resentment in her dejection. Hearing her words

, I felt no relief, only a profound sense of loss. Actually, I desperately wanted my mother to tell me that Xiaohui had spoken to her, even if it was about me, I would be happy. At least I could see their strained mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship beginning to thaw.

Looking at my mother's tightly pursed lips, I didn't know what to say. My mother was a devoted and loving mother, her only flaw being her stubbornness; she was terribly cold towards people and things she disliked. She always seemed to harbor a deep hatred for Xiaohui, finding fault with everything she did… But what was the point?"

Undeniably, Xiaohui has her shortcomings and faults, but as a family member, why can't her mother, as an elder, be more understanding? I remember when she first got married, Xiaohui respected her mother very much and would try to make her mother-in-law happy no matter what. But what about her mother? She always seemed indifferent. This attitude is unbearable, not only for Xiaohui, but even for me.

Why does her mother act this way? She not only hurts Xiaohui's feelings but also puts herself in an adversarial position. What good does that do? If her mother truly cared about me, even if she didn't care about Xiaohui as her daughter-in-law, she should at least think about her son. Now I'm caught in the middle, being tossed around by both of them. This kind of life is driving me crazy. Sometimes I really wanted to shout, "Mom! Since you resent Xiaohui so much, why didn't you object when I asked for your opinion on my marriage, but instead readily agreed? Are you helping me or hurting me?" My mother seemed to see through my thoughts, but didn't explain much. She just continued the previous topic, saying, "I've been through this, and I can see through many things. Your eyes are bloodshot; it's obvious you're sleep-deprived. Although you didn't say why, I know. You're the son I carried for ten months, and I raised you single-handedly. I know your personality perfectly well. You're a man who loves deeply, and such men have a strong sense of family, always putting their wives and children first. They rarely quarrel with their wives. Now you seem to hate mentioning your wife. If there wasn't a conflict between you two, why would you act like this? This is abnormal." I didn't say anything, but I had to admire my mother's keen observation.

"Xiaojun, tell me, is the disharmony between you and Xiaohui due to something in that area?" My mother suddenly looked at me mysteriously. I felt like I was being pricked by thorns, and instinctively denied it outright: "Mom, what are you talking about? What do you mean there's a problem in that area? I don't understand." Though I vehemently denied it, I was inwardly shocked. It seemed there really wasn't anything I could hide from my mother. But what could I say? Although I was a married man, and would become a father in a few months, just because there were topics I couldn't discuss didn't mean I could say whatever I wanted. Married life is, after all, a private matter, especially since the person in front of me was my own mother. As her son, I couldn't just openly discuss sex with her without any restraint.

Today's China, after more than a decade of reform and opening up, has made great progress in various fields. But China is, after all, an ancient civilization with a five-thousand-year history (uninterrupted), and some concepts are not easily changed and are even deeply ingrained. Just like the issue of "sex," it is not only sensitive but also an ethically taboo subject that cannot be casually touched upon.

For some reason, I suddenly felt a little unfamiliar with the woman in front of me. My once dignified, elegant, and refined mother seemed to have vanished from my memory, replaced by a middle-aged woman with vulgar speech. "Is this the mother I was so proud of?" I frowned as I looked at the strange woman before me.

"You little rascal, still pretending in front of your mother? Don't you even know anything about married life? How did Xiaohui get pregnant? You're not going to tell me this child has nothing to do with you, are you?" "Mom, do you know what nonsense you're spouting?"

My mother's almost shameless words made me very angry. I retorted without hesitation, "Do you really want your son to be cuckolded?" My mother looked at me in astonishment, not expecting such a strong reaction. She seemed a little flustered and apologized repeatedly, "Mom saw you were preoccupied, so I said something crude to lighten the mood. I didn't expect it to make you even more upset. Xiaojun, don't be angry. Mom didn't mean it. How could Mom want her son to be cuckolded? It's so shameful to wear that on your head like a pimp." Hearing my mother's words, I laughed heartily, and my dissatisfaction disappeared without a trace. I said, "Mom, don't mind me. I was just a little emotional and that's why I said such harsh words. I didn't mean to say anything to you." My mother breathed a sigh of relief. "Xiaojun, what's bothering you? Why don't you tell Mom? We're family, why be so formal?" I shook my head and said, "That's true, but some things are still hard to talk about." "What's hard to talk about? Is there anything harder to talk about than love between men and women? I'm a woman and I'm not afraid, why are you, a grown man, so shy?" My mother looked at me dismissively.

Hearing my mother's words, for some reason, my previously uneasy heart calmed down. Although my mother's unusual behavior made me a little uncomfortable, I couldn't deny that today's mother felt warmer than ever before.

Perhaps my mother was right; we're family, we should say what we mean, there's nothing to be ashamed of. However, topics about men and women are always sensitive. Although my mother isn't an outsider, she's still a woman, and besides Xiaohui, I've never discussed sex so directly with any other woman. So, although I no longer resisted, I still felt a little embarrassed due to ingrained beliefs.

I downed half a can of beer in one go, and with the help of the alcohol, I became bolder. I said, "Mom, you're right. There's really nothing to hide from family." My mother smiled and said, "That's right! So, Xiaojun, if you're having any troubles, feel free to tell me. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one. Maybe telling me can help you." I didn't reply, but just took a few big gulps of beer. My mother saw this and advised, "You can't drink too fast; it's bad for your health." I wiped the foam from my mouth with my sleeve and said, "Mom, don't worry, I'm fine. I've been really unhappy these past few days. If this continues, I... I'll go crazy." After saying that, I picked up my beer and drank some more.

My mother snatched my beer away, her voice trembling with emotion. "Xiaojun, stop drinking! Seeing you like this makes me so sad. Why don't you tell me when you're upset? Xiaohui doesn't care about you, but I do. You're the apple of my eye. If anything happens to you, how will I live the rest of my life?" Seeing the tears welling in my mother's eyes, my heart clenched. I whispered, "Mom, do you really want to know what happened between Xiaohui and me?" My mother wiped away her tears and nodded. "Yes, and I want every single word." "Alright then!" I sighed. "Mom, you know I'm a normal man..." My mother interrupted me, "Silly child, who said you're not normal?" Her eyes were filled with tenderness, and my heart warmed, but I didn't respond. I continued, "It's perfectly normal for a normal man to have normal physiological needs." As I said this, I shifted slightly, stealing a glance at my mother. She was facing me, leaning against the sofa with one hand, holding a glass of orange juice in the other, listening intently. My anxious heart calmed down, and I sighed, continuing, "Since Xiaohui became pregnant, her personality has changed drastically. She's prone to outbursts of anger. I thought it was just pregnancy symptoms, hence her irritability. So, although I found her unreasonable, I didn't argue with her. I thought that would satisfy her, but that wasn't the case. My tolerance only made her more demanding. But that's not all; there's one thing I just can't stand—she won't let me touch her." My mother gasped at this. I looked at her questioningly. My mother smiled slightly and said apologetically, "Mom just had a sudden thought. It's okay, Xiaojun, you can continue. By the way, you said earlier that Xiaohui won't let you touch her since she got pregnant. How can she be so domineering? What did you do then?" I hesitated for a moment before saying, "

Since Xiaohui became pregnant, she hasn't allowed me to be intimate with her. Several times I couldn't bear it anymore and begged her to make an exception, but she just gave me a good scolding. She seems determined

. She even said I didn't want a baby. I was stunned. When did I ever say I didn't want a baby? Not wanting my own flesh and blood? Isn't that a joke?" Xiaohui, however, had her reasons. She said, "The doctor advised that I should reduce sexual activity after becoming pregnant to avoid affecting the fetus's development." I told her, "Reducing doesn't mean completely abstaining. As far as I know, pregnant women are prohibited from having sex in the early stages of pregnancy and the period leading up to delivery. It seems unnecessary at other times. Besides, we're already over three months pregnant, the embryo should be formed, and occasional intercourse shouldn't have a significant impact on its development."

Xiaohui refused to listen to my explanation and stubbornly insisted on her own point of view. She said that precisely because the fetus is beginning to take shape, it's even more important not to do anything dirty. Now is the time for prenatal education, and she doesn't want her future child to be as lecherous as its father. I was both amused and exasperated, and told her that we shouldn't view normal married life through a prejudiced lens, and that medical journals have proven that occasional sexual activity is beneficial to the physical and mental health of pregnant women. But Xiaohui remained unmoved; she insisted that she would only have marital relations with me after the baby was born. I had barely complained about how we would manage for such a long time when Xiaohui burst into tears and screams, saying that she despised her and the baby, and that I was an animal, a beast, vulgar, shameless, a big slut... Sigh, she used every word imaginable to insult me. My mother couldn't help but laugh when she heard this. I sighed and said awkwardly, "Mom, you probably find it funny too. Only a fool like me would put up with this kind of woman's humiliation. Sigh, I'm such a failure." My mother stopped laughing and gently comforted me, "Xiaojun, don't say that. You're a smart boy, not stupid at all. You're only upset because you love your wife. I'm not laughing at you, I just think your wife's words are a bit childish and ridiculous, so... Okay, let's not talk about that. What happened after that? Is Xiaohui still being so unreasonable?"

I smiled bitterly, "Unreasonable? She's practically inhuman. Maybe it's because I usually indulge her too much, which has fostered her domineering personality. Actually, I didn't say anything. I just said '

unreasonable,' and she felt incredibly wronged. Not only did she make a huge scene, but she also wouldn't let me into the room that night, saying I smelled like an animal. Is that something a human would say?

I was very angry at the time, but to avoid affecting the fetus, I swallowed my anger and slept on the sofa in the living room for a week." I thought the storm was over, but Xiaohui, manipulated by those gossipy aunts and uncles, actually said she wanted to go back to her parents' home, saying she wouldn't come back until the baby was born. Isn't that ridiculous?

I couldn't take it anymore and yelled at her. Unexpectedly, she picked up her luggage and left. It turned out she had packed her bags long ago; she seemed to have come prepared. I didn't stop her; I couldn't swallow my anger. Like you said, Mom, couples fight in bed and make up in bed. What conflicts can't be resolved? She called me heartless, a beast, and shameless. What a joke! How am I heartless? Did I go out and seduce women? Calling me a beast is even more absurd. According to her logic, men and women shouldn't get married because marriage inevitably leads to beastly acts.

How can she say such absurd things? And she's a university graduate! I really don't understand how she graduated with this kind of quality. "Doesn't she ever consider that if it weren't for the beastly behavior of her parents back then, how could she, Joan of Arc, exist in this world?" My mother listened quietly to my outpouring. This time, she didn't laugh, only nodding occasionally in agreement. After I finished speaking, I casually picked up another can of beer, unzipped it, and downed it in one gulp. My mother stopped me, saying, "Alcohol only makes sorrow worse. Xiaojun, if you're in a bad mood, don't drink so much. It's not good for your health."

我思考了好久，认为有必要将心里的故事说出来。不得不承认「乱伦」这样的字眼是让人反思的，也是厌恶的。因为中国的传统的道德观点容不下它的存在，母亲是因为爱我——才会和我有性的行为的，也是因为爱我——才会有了以后的交换。

尽管我们都知道乱伦是不对的，但是我们终究走出了那道线。尽管我们都对交换有些抗拒，但最终我们还是在情欲和感情中失去了理智。

作爱是人类的天性，不仅仅是繁衍生殖，还有精神与肉体上的双重享受。我现在不得不承认——母爱的确是世界上最伟大的爱。　一晃过了十年，母亲也从风华正茂的美丽人妻到了两鬓班白的中年妇女，但在我眼里，母亲依然是世界上最漂亮，最好的女人，她为了我，为了这个家付出了她的一切，而我也在母亲的精心呵护下，从懵懂少年成长为一个高大帅气的小伙，我的性幻想对象变成了母亲，那个典型的家庭妇女，身材也走了行，已经有点发福的身体，已经有点白头发，面容开始苍老的女人，虽然我知道这是不对的，但每次手淫幻想着和母亲做爱都能让我产生极大的快感，不仅仅是生理上的，心理上更是有着极大的满足。心底深处产生了这种变态且不道德的禽兽的想法，但在我眼里，母亲却别有一番韵味，也许是我从小就有很强的恋母情节吧。幻想着母亲的身体和屄沉沉的睡着了，觉得浑身躁热，当我睁开眼睛之后居然发现母亲骑在我身上在跟我做爱，我以为是在做梦，使劲眨了眨眼睛，确实是母亲，母亲的动作很轻，一上一下的，可能是怕把我弄醒了，母亲往下坐的时候并没有把屁股贴在我肚子上，只是差不多了就停止，然后再往上，再坐下，而母亲那样的姿势和动作一定很累，因为首先要保证不弄醒我，还要靠两条腿来支撑整个身体的平衡，更要忍住不呻吟出来，想想就知道辛苦。

我在短暂的震惊之后也有了快感，于是我伸出双手抓住了母亲的乳房，母亲不知道我已经醒了，当我的手放上母亲的乳房上时，我明显的感觉到母亲的身体震动了一下，也停止了动作，坐在我肚子上怔怔的看着我，我明显的感觉到母亲的身体在抖动，好象很害怕，我为了不使母亲感到难堪，并没有出声，只是把放在奶子上的手移到了母亲的屁股后面，使劲的把母亲的屁股往上抬，抬起一点后又马上放下，而以这样的动作来做出回应，果然在动了几下之后，母亲终于又开始动了，这次她没有蹲着，而是跪着，从刚才的上下抽动变成了前后摇动，而我则明显的能感觉到我的龟头顶在了母亲的子宫上。

这时我才开始细细的品位，母亲的阴道很紧，而且水也很多，在母亲发愣的时候，我就已经感觉到我的阴毛湿了，不是潮湿，而是已经有阴毛被母亲的水泡的变成一缕一缕了，而现在母亲放开了，水更是多的吓人，几分钟之后我已经感觉不到阴道的２片肉夹着我的感觉了，只感觉鸡吧好象插进了一个温水洞里，甚至连我的睾丸都被淫水浸湿了，但因为没有开灯，所以看不清楚母亲的奶子和屄。

而我和母亲在这样的情况下也越来越激动，母亲已经开始呻吟叫床了，而我则用双手死死的抓着母亲的奶子，强忍着想射精的冲动，就在我快要忍不住的时候，母亲的叫声也变大了，呼吸也越来越急促了，我知道是时候了，屁股和腰部同时一松，一股浓精射进了母亲的阴道里，而母亲也在我射精的那一刹那达到了高潮，然后像死人一样趴在了我的身上不停的抽搐着，我跟母亲都在喘着气，并不是我累了，而是发泄后的正常喘息，母亲则是一边抽搐着一边大口的喘着气，整个过程我们都没有说过话，可能是因为尴尬吧，我们甚至连对方的表情都看不清楚，但我们彼此却得到了极大的满足。

等母亲休息的差不多了，她才起身，用手捂着屄去了厕所，而我则点起了一根烟，悠闲的抽了起来，实在想不到我的处男生涯会在母亲身上结束，也没想到会以这样的方式得到母亲的身体，母子乱伦就这样发生在我的身上，大半年的阴霾一扫而空，心理上的压抑情绪也消失不见了，虽然发泄完后会有一种强烈的犯罪感，但我不后悔，这正是一直以来我所追求的精神与肉体上的双重满足，如今梦想成真，还有什幺不满意的呢。

母亲洗完后并没有再回到我床上，匆匆的进了房间，并且关上了房门，我知道母亲在生理上得到满足之后，心理上一定过不了她自己那关，因为她主动的跟自己的儿子发生了性关系，所以我并没有进房去跟母亲讲话，抽完烟后去厕所洗了洗便上床睡觉了。

那次之后，母亲有很长一段时间都不敢面对我，气氛突然变了，变的冷清了，变的让我觉得陌生了，我也不知道该怎幺做去改善这种让人压抑和不安的气氛，也许心里总觉得对妈妈有愧吧，尽管是母亲主动的，但我在发生关系之后，依然有着深深的罪恶感，我觉得是我让母亲变的沉默寡言了，所以为了让母亲再次开心起来，我和母亲做了一次长谈。

母亲首先告诉我那次的事情是她不对，并告诉我她是多幺的爱我，当我们彼此都把内心世界打开，将自己这幺久以来所有的想法都倾诉出来之后，我们都笑了，原来一直以来，我和母亲都深深的爱着对方，既有亲情，也有爱情，更有对对方身体的强烈渴望，母亲早在离婚的时候就已经下定决心，要将她的身心都交给她唯一的儿子，早知如此，又何必在痛苦和纠结中挣扎呢？

那次谈话的成功的，母亲又变的开朗了，让我高兴的是，母亲比以前更漂亮了，至少我是这样认为，也变的爱打扮了，更让我开心的是，我终于能心安理得的用自己的鸡吧插入母亲的屄了，看着从小就对我严格要求且严厉的母亲在我的胯下呻吟叫床，看着自己的亲生母亲在自己鸡吧的抽插下淫水横流，那种刺激感，满足感，一想起来就让我全身的血液沸腾，我完全不知道该用什幺样的形容词来表达我内心的那种无与伦比的感觉，那感觉就好象得到了全世界一样，让人全身舒畅。我和母亲几乎夜夜笙歌，母亲也从一个什幺都不懂的传统女人变成了一个淫娃荡妇，当然，母亲只是在我这个儿子面前表现的淫荡而已。我已经记不清跟母亲做了多少次爱了，床上，厕所里，客厅，饭桌上，甚至是母亲炒菜时，只要我兴趣来了，母亲就会无条件的满足我，而母亲的屄也好象从来没干过一样，什幺都插进去都是湿湿的，我也记不清到底是在母亲的屄里射的多还是在母亲的嘴里射的多了，更不知道母亲在我的大鸡吧的冲击下有过多少次高潮了。母亲为我奉献了一切，有些连ａ片里都很少见到的镜头，母亲做起来也是毫不犹豫，从最初的小心翼翼甚至有点笨拙的口交，到现在的深喉，从最初只知道男上女下或女上男下的单调姿势到现在的任何姿势都做的得心应手，从最初的体内射精到现在口爆，肛交，母亲的变化是明显的，而我的变化更可以用惊人来表达。

一个夏天的晚上，我和母亲一起在客厅看电视，电视中放着无聊的肥皂剧，母亲今天好像对那些平时很喜欢的电视情节一点也不感兴趣！一会若有所思，一会又看看我这边，我看着母亲这个样子感觉应该做点什幺！于是起身来到母亲身边，一屁股坐在母亲身边，母亲好像也意识到有什幺事情发生，身体微微一抖，然后把背对着我！我笑着伸手过去把玩着母亲丰满略坠的乳房，母亲抬起头，水汪汪地眼睛里满是春情，媚得快滴出水来的美眸里可是满溢着和我一样的欲情，直勾勾地盯着我这根耀武扬威的狰狞肉棒，我不由自主的松了一口气，两腿大张着青筋暴起的鸡巴斜指着天空，迫不及待的想要进入母亲那温暖湿润的小嘴里。

「瞧你那副大爷的样子！」母亲白了我一眼，终究还是乖乖的四肢着地，晃动着她圆润的丰臀向我爬了过来，那张即将被我蹂躏的红润小嘴还不停嘟囔着，我压根也没听，总之不外乎是小兔崽子就爱折腾老娘之类的，只是兴奋地看着母亲裹在肉灰色裤袜里的美臀摇摆出的诱人臀浪，本来就暴涨的鸡巴忍不住跳了两下。母亲一低头，肉灰色开档裤袜包裹着的两条修长大腿的内侧有着明显的水迹，当她爬到我跟前刚抬起头刚说了个「我……」，就被我急不可耐地一把抓着她脑后的秀发往我胯下一按，硬得已经有些发痛的肉棒挤开母亲红润的双唇蛮不讲理地插了进去，连根没入母亲的樱桃小嘴，直接来了个深喉。

感受着母亲因猛烈的异物侵入而绷紧的喉管紧紧箍住我滚烫的肉棒带来的舒爽感觉，我死死按住剧烈挣扎的母亲，好几秒钟之后才松开手让肉棒从母亲嘴里退出来。

母亲立刻狠狠地咳嗽起来，貌似不仅是口水，连胃液都咳出来了。

等了好一会儿母亲才平息下来，愤愤地给了我一巴掌：「小均，想弄死你妈啊！」我笑嘻嘻地受了这一下，把母亲抱到我腿上坐下，一边爱不释手地揉捏着母亲的丰臀美腿，裤袜细腻的丝滑质感和母亲的肉感搭配起来的手感绝对是的极致享受，一边嬉皮笑脸地解释：「谁让妈你太性感太诱人了，再说从昨天到现在我可一直没射过，憋都快憋死了，妈你再这幺甩着奶子晃着屁股地爬过来，我实在是忍不住了。」这话母亲听了显然很受用，主动用丰盈的大腿蹭着我坚挺的肉棒，上半身凑过来送上一个香吻。

我美美地品尝了一下母亲的红唇香舌，又让她跪到我面前给我口交。

母亲灵活柔嫩的舌头围着粗壮的棒身打转，小嘴张成o型，努力吞吐着肉棒，时不时给我深喉一下，爽得我连连吸气。

感觉差不多了，我示意母亲停下，直接分开母亲白玉般的圆润臀瓣，驾轻就熟地把青筋暴起的火热肉棒插入了母亲溪水潺潺地两瓣肥厚阴唇中间。

伴随这母亲压抑不住的曼妙低吟，我长舒了一口气，暂时停住动作，让全根没入母亲蜜穴的肉棒仔细感受了一下腔道内的温润柔腻，揉捏着母亲柔软光滑的臀肉和剃光阴毛后显得格外柔嫩光洁的阴户，随即开始大力耸动腰肢，粗大的肉棒不讲究任何技巧地在母亲阴道内来回抽插，两腿贴紧了母亲包裹在肉色超薄透明丝袜的修长双腿，沙沙的摩擦声和随之而来的丝袜质感让我格外兴奋，动作幅度也越来越大，母亲的身体被我冲撞得前后摇晃，兴奋的呻吟声也从母亲的红润双唇间不断飞出：「好棒，亲爱的，用……用力！」干得兴起，我一边耸动肉棒一边把母亲的黑色蕾丝胸罩从衣服里抽了出来，放在鼻端深深地嗅了一口，弯下腰去，整个人附在母亲背上，一手环住母亲丰腴柔软的小腹，一手探到母亲胸口肆意把玩着母亲丰满的双乳和挺立的紫葡萄。

母亲勉力扭过头来，眼神迷离地把红润的双唇凑到我嘴边，我当然毫不客气地一口吻了上去，狠狠吸住母亲柔滑的香舌。母子俩下身紧联，上面唇舌也激烈地搅在一起，良久之后才分开，还在空气中拉出了一道淫靡的银色水线。

母亲渐渐有些吃不住力，双腿开始发软。我索性让母亲跪趴在门口地板上，把白皙的丰臀高高撅起，我则跨骑在母亲肉感十足的艳臀上，大起大落地狠干着母亲的蜜穴，借着体重每次都是重重地将整根肉棒一插到底，几乎连两颗睾丸都要挤进母亲被我插弄得门户大开的阴道，不停撞击着母亲敏感娇嫩的子宫口。男女欢好的如火欲潮中，母亲发出连串歌唱般的美妙呻吟，浑身肌肤晶莹如玉，胸前两个丰硕乳球随着我的挺刺动作来回晃荡，分外诱人。在我的大力抽插下，母亲的蜜穴也不断发出阵阵水声，混合着肉体撞击声、母亲的呻吟和我的粗重喘息，构成了满室的淫靡香艳。

老实说让母亲摆出这样羞耻雌伏的姿势每每都会让我欲火如焚，但是也很耗费体力。在连续挺动了上百下之后，我双手抓着母亲丰满白皙的臀瓣，把肉棒深深埋入泥泞不堪的牝户底端，暂停住了动作，示意母亲换个姿势。

母亲放平了娇躯，身体打横，侧卧在地板上。我抬起母亲一条美腿直至与地面成９０度，曲膝跪坐在母亲另一条丰满修长的大腿上，把肉棒慢慢刺入了母亲因为侧卧而显得比刚才更紧窄些的蜜穴内。这个姿势对我和母亲来说都和刺激，母亲的阴蒂会在我动作是不断被撞击摩擦，而我则可以方便地把玩母亲的丰胸俏臀美腿。

我把母亲竖起的丝袜美腿搁在自己肩上，一手摸乳一手揉臀，同时还不忘偏过头去舔舐着母亲包裹在细腻滑软丝袜下的圆润小腿，成熟女性的体香，混合在透明丝袜的包裹下散溢出一种又酥又腻的淫靡肉香，很快几乎母亲的整条小腿上都是我湿漉漉的口水痕迹。舌尖上传递而来的细滑触感，加上肉棒动作时屁股、睾丸与母亲被我坐在身下的丰腴丝袜美腿摩擦的快感，让我原本已经坚挺的肉棒更是膨胀到发痛的地步，母亲一只柔若无骨的小手还在我胸膛上来回抚摸着，让我不得不暂时放弃了手上的动作，抱紧了母亲柔润丰腴的丝袜美腿开始专心致志地进攻母亲花蜜横溢的牝户。

很快，我就感到自己肉棒上传来阵阵酥麻，好像精液已经集满了，不吐不快。

母亲也是俏眼迷离，边努力扭动屁股边从唇间吐出呓语，「唔唔……啊……」。

我边耸动肉棒边喘息着说：「妈，我快射了！」「唔唔，别……别射在里面……啊！」在快达到顶峰的同时，我强忍住龟头传来的酥麻感觉，迅速拔出沾满花蜜的肉棒，红肿的肉棒摩擦了几下母亲纹理细密的透明超薄肉色丝袜，没多久，一股快要爆裂的感觉游走在激胀的肉棒上，我把肉棒往前一捅，狠狠的把龟头抵住母亲柔软的大腿，然后开始激烈的喷射浓烈白浊的浆液。连续几次爽快无比的抽动，喷发出了比早上还多的精液，浸湿了母亲几乎整条丰腴的大腿，丝袜当然也是变得又湿又粘。

几秒钟之后，喷发终于结束，面色潮红的母亲坐起身，脱下那双已经被弄得黏呼呼的肉色丝袜，然后抽了几张面纸把自己的腿上跟地面都稍微擦拭了一下，我则满足而慵懒地看着母亲忙活。

母亲也拿了面纸要给我擦干净黏糊糊的肉棒，我摆摆手，也不吱声，指了指母亲红润的小嘴。母亲没好气地白了我一眼，但还是乖乖地跪坐到我跟前，用手指拢了拢鬓边散落的发丝，俯下身去开始用嘴为我沾满了精液和母子两人性器分泌物的肉棒做清洁。

"You little rascal, are you satisfied now?" After my entire penis had been cleaned by my mother's fragrant tongue, she raised her still flushed face and asked with a smile.

My mother and I stayed in the bathroom for more than half an hour, washing away the sweat and the smell of our lovemaking. Of course, I also licked my mother's breasts and touched her genitals, taking advantage of her. However, because I had just ejaculated, my penis was temporarily unable to get hard, so I didn't actually mount her. But it still left my mother panting, and when she came out of the bathroom, her eyes were still hazy and her legs were weak. I chuckled and pinched my mother's plump buttocks. "You're all weak from being fucked by your son, aren't you?" My mother rolled her eyes at me and went to her room to sleep. I had just vented on my mother again, and now that I was relaxed, my eyelids felt sticky. So I simply followed my mother and crawled into the master bedroom to lie down on the big bed. My mother was used to spoiling me, and she wasn't wearing a bra under her nightgown. I held my mother's warm, soft body, my lower body pressed tightly against her long, full thighs, and barely managed to squeeze my half-erect penis into her moist, sweet vagina before finally falling into a deep, satisfied sleep. 　　(This post was edited by hu34520 on 2015-10-22 12:42.

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