A woman's fate

I am an ordinary farm girl living in a small mountain village. My parents are both honest and hardworking, and my upbringing was relatively conservative. My exposure to men was very limited, and as a young girl, I longed for my Prince Charming. Through a friend's matchmaking, I went on a blind date with a man even more honest than myself. It didn't last long; we broke up quickly. Incompatible personalities can't be forced. Until I met my current husband.

I was 20 years old then, and he was two years younger, 18. We met in the fields west of the village. He wasn't handsome, but he was hardworking and capable, and his family was well-off. In the countryside, these conditions were basically enough. I still remember the impulsive look in his eyes when he saw me. Since we lived only a few miles apart and knew each other well, the decision was made quickly, and my parents agreed to the marriage. The reason was very practical: I have four siblings, and my father's health was poor; he couldn't work anymore. We needed to marry me off to alleviate our family's difficulties. On the other hand, his family lived nearby, which could help with our labor problems.

I've always been indecisive and could only obey my parents' wishes. According to custom, the groom should buy clothes for the bride as a sign of affection. He accompanied me to the city shopping center and bought me clothes, shoes, and bags, finally satisfying my vanity. Life is harsh; my boyfriend had to leave to work in another city, and I saw him off at the station. He kissed me then, and I couldn't help but shed tears. The happiness we had just experienced was about to end, and I felt a pang of sadness. But I was powerless to change it, and could only cry.

Summer arrived, and my boyfriend took a few days off and returned home. I went to his house that evening, and after dinner, he wanted to be with me. I was incredibly conflicted; I wanted to agree, but reason told me I couldn't. His parents also wanted to force things to the point and urged me to stay. Just then, my parents called, sternly telling me to go home, and only then did things settle down. Although my boyfriend was extremely reluctant, he still took me home. After all, my parents were afraid I would suffer!

Soon, the end of the year approached, and my boyfriend's parents sent betrothal gifts to my family. They requested that the wedding be arranged as soon as possible to put an end to their worries. My parents, considering practical factors, agreed to their in-laws' request. The wedding was scheduled for next spring. My boyfriend took me to take wedding photos before the new year, and that night I gave myself to him.

I was so excited that I couldn't wait for him to conquer me. He was also very excited, and he took off my clothes while putting his on me. Neither of us were virgins, and we had no practical experience. In particular, I could only passively accept his thrusts. He first poked me with his fingers, breaking my hymen. After a frenzy, he started to use it. I was too shy to look at him. When he used it on me, I was both in pain and excited. The bleeding from my virginity really hurt. But the thought of becoming a real woman was incredibly exciting.

His first time was not successful. Due to his long foreskin, penetration was difficult. He painfully forced penetration, causing bleeding, and as a result, I didn't enjoy the pleasure of penetration the first time. Later, he had a circumcision, which solved the problem. In our subsequent sex life, with increased experience, the quality of our sex life greatly improved. I remember the first time I received it, the warm stimulation made me moan. I hugged my husband tightly; I needed his strong body to love me.

After marriage, we started trying to have a baby. People in the countryside have a strong sense of carrying on the family line, and my husband and I couldn't disobey. But good things don't always come easy, and conceiving wasn't as simple as we imagined. The first few months were unsuccessful, so we went to the hospital for a checkup. Both of us were fine; we just couldn't conceive. My husband and I had to try our best to increase the chances of conception. We even bought ovulation test strips to help. When my period didn't come in September, we knew we might be pregnant.

Later, an ultrasound at the hospital confirmed the pregnancy. The whole family was overjoyed, and my husband became much more careful at night. He liked to play with my breasts, even sucking on my nipples. It hurt a lot, but I eventually got used to his caresses. In the days that followed, I felt uncomfortable without his caresses. Every night he would hold my breasts while I slept, saying it gave him emotional satisfaction. Later, as my belly grew bigger, the frequency of these caresses decreased. We were all worried about hurting the baby, so we couldn't resist and did it very carefully.

After ten months of pregnancy, the baby was due. My husband and mother-in-law accompanied me to the hospital to give birth. I went to the hospital in the morning and was due to give birth that afternoon. I felt very uncomfortable being naked in front of others, even though they were all obstetricians. But at that time, I had no choice; childbirth is not a game. Because it was my first childbirth, the doctor used a scalpel to make an incision in my perineum to deliver the baby smoothly. Although I endured the pain at the time, it left me with aftereffects. I experience unbearable itching on rainy days, and it's still like that today. The baby is a boy, and my husband is the eldest son. The birth of my first grandson is a great joy for a family. The whole family was overjoyed.

I stayed in the hospital for three days and then went home to recuperate. During this time, we held a celebratory banquet to celebrate the arrival of our new baby. During my postpartum period, my husband was very repressed because he couldn't have sex. And because I had to take care of the baby, I neglected my husband's feelings. Until after my postpartum period, he started having sex with me again. After giving birth, I became more relaxed, and he definitely felt it. But he understood that this was the price we had to pay to continue life. Because of the long absence, some tissue had become brittle, causing occasional hissing sounds. I had suppressed this for a long time, and finally, I released it too. I felt I needed more stimulation to satisfy myself. My husband was very capable, almost every night, sometimes twice a night. I didn't have a problem with sexual desire.

My husband and I sometimes argued about trivial things, and he was sometimes very rough and even hit me. I could only swallow my grievances alone; I didn't want to make my pain public, nor did I want to cause my parents any worry. However, as my husband and I grew older, we both learned to be more tolerant and understanding, and the arguments decreased. That's how people mature. In the following years, life was relatively uneventful, especially after the birth of our second child. My husband and I were both extremely busy, one earning money to support the family and the other taking care of the child.

The past slowly disappeared, like mechanical movement; there was still intimacy, but it was gone. Due to my conservative nature, I deeply suppressed my psychological pain. My husband also felt bored, so he used sex toys to increase stimulation. While this had some effect, it wasn't a permanent solution. More seriously, due to his busy work schedule, the frequency of our encounters decreased; what used to be a good amount couldn't even satisfy him anymore. Furthermore, his penis, once hard, became soft, and ejaculation was rushed. This was extremely painful for me.

Later, my husband bought sex toys online for my pleasure. The electric one, though cold, was the right size and vibrated. It was a new and exciting experience for me. My libido was rekindled. Unfortunately, like addiction in movies, sex toys can't replace a real person. And after the intense stimulation from the toys, my libido increased. I had sexual fantasies every day, a strong urge to release my pent-up desire. Lost in my lust, I didn't know where to go. [The End]

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A woman's fate

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