A marital farce

It was pouring rain tonight. I printed out the last part of my itinerary and could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Tomorrow I
'm flying to Chongqing. I can go home and get a good night's sleep, and head to the airport early.
I leaned against the elevator buttons, quietly thinking about what to do. With this heavy rain, it'll probably be hard to get a taxi. Just
then , the elevator stopped on the tenth floor. I jumped in fright, instinctively stepping inside, a chill running down my spine. The doors opened,
and he came in. Thank goodness, it was just him. I breathed a sigh of relief; even though he was a man, at least he was a person.
We stood there , neither of us speaking, until the elevator stopped on the first floor. I got out, and he continued towards the underground parking lot.
I stood at the building entrance for a long time, unable to get a taxi. It's always like this, even on rainy days. There are just too many people in Guangzhou.
Just as I was feeling frustrated, a silver car stopped in front of me. I looked up; the window was open. It was the man from
the elevator . He waved at me, saying it was too late and I couldn't get a taxi. He offered me his ride. I checked my watch,
hesitated for a moment, but got in anyway.
Piano music was playing in the car. He asked me where I lived, and when I told him, he was surprised and said, "Oh, it
really is on the way." I smiled; all men are like that, just pretending.
I looked out the window at the rain and thought of the days I spent getting soaked in the rain with Ping. The car quickly arrived at my apartment complex.
I got off at B12, thanked him, and didn't say anything more. He drove to the B15 underground parking lot.
Did he live in this complex too? Impossible. I went upstairs, took a shower, turned on my computer, read
a novel for a while, and then went to sleep.
The weather in Chongqing is truly awful, rainy every day, and the food is too spicy and numbing. For a whole
week , I've been working on an empty stomach. Fortunately, things went smoothly, and I signed a big contract. Looks like
I can relax tonight. My flight is tomorrow afternoon, so I can sleep in. Since I'm in Chongqing, I have to see
some beautiful women . I chose the pedestrian street, walking and looking around. No wonder people say that men should live in Chongqing;
there are so many beautiful women with hot figures. We women are truly ashamed.
On the plane back to Guangzhou, a pretty girl sat next to me. I deliberately struck up a conversation with her. It turned out she was from Chongqing and
was visiting relatives in Guangzhou. We chatted for a while; the young woman was very talkative and straightforward, which I liked. She asked what I did for
a living, and I said I worked in clothing sales. When I mentioned a brand, it turned out to be one she liked! She was incredibly impressed with me. We talked
all the way to Guangzhou, and finally exchanged phone numbers. I took a taxi, and she said she had a car to pick me up. We parted ways
.
After a busy week back, I decided not to work overtime and take a good rest this Sunday. I got up early to go
for a run in my neighborhood and bumped into the man who had driven me home the other day. He was practicing Tai Chi! Haha, so young practicing
Tai Chi —I'd never seen anyone like that before! He greeted me, and I smiled. In broad daylight, I got a good look at him;
he was very handsome. Too bad, I don't like him. If I had an older or younger sister, I might consider having her marry him.
After my run, I was watching the fish by the pond when he came over. He said he worked in the same building as me, in advertising
, and his ancestral home was Chongqing. Seriously, Chongqing women are beautiful, and even the men are so handsome! I'm jealous.
Just then, someone spoke Chongqing dialect. I turned around and, wow, a beautiful woman from Chongqing was calling out to
this handsome guy! Later, I found out they were siblings.
After that, I often went to B15 to find this Chongqing beauty, and also mooched
meals , even though the food was very spicy, I pretended to enjoy it. The Chongqing beauty's name was Xiaoxiao, and her brother's name was Xu.
We got along very well. I thought I would win Xiaoxiao over, but then the farce began. Xu fell
for me, and Xiaoxiao tried to set us up, but Xiaoxiao liked Xu's colleague, Hua.
I asked Xiaoxiao out to dinner, and Xu always came along. I was always looking forward to it, but always disappointed. This
girl was very cheerful, and I liked her. But we're from completely different worlds. How can I explain this to her?
What if she doesn't like me? She might think we can't even be friends anymore. So
it dragged on We saw each other all the time, but never had a chance. It was heartbreaking.
Finally, one day, Xiaoxiao told me she was in a relationship. She told me so much about Hua, and
they seemed like a perfect match. But I'm a woman, and even if I liked her, she wouldn't understand if I told her.
I could only watch her silently from behind.
Xu is actually very good to me. He's a very considerate man, and he's very proper in his actions. Sometimes I think, if I
were a normal woman, I might marry him, but things are different now.
My work is still very busy, and President Qi's overseas plans are progressing very well. She recently returned to Guangzhou,
and we became good friends—just ordinary friends. We often eat and chat together.
One day, I was having dinner with Mr. Qi when Xiao Xiao called me. She sounded like she was about to cry. I
answered and rushed home. At Xiao Xiao's house, I found her sobbing uncontrollably. It took her a long time to stop.
It turned out Hua had another woman. I was furious. That brat! But after crying, Xiao Xiao said that
we should all pretend we didn't know, and she would pretend she didn't know either. She wanted to continue being with him. What kind of logic is that
? Why compromise like that? I was so angry. If he were in my hands, I would have cherished him.
But Xiao Xiao really is something else. As soon as Hua called her, she rushed off to meet him, leaving me alone
at their house. Seeing a lot of beer in Xu's fridge, I started drinking alone. The person I love...
how could this happen? Can't she see me?
I drank like that, not knowing how long I drank. Then, in a daze, someone helped me up, someone wiped my face,
someone stroked my forehead—very attentive and gentle, like Ping. Finally, I couldn't hold back my tears. My heart was truly
bitter.
Those gentle hands softly wiped away my tears. I wished this moment could last forever, that I would never
wake up . Then, warm lips kissed me, a warmth that spread throughout my body. I tightly embraced the blurry
figure before me. If it was Ping, I would never want to be separated again.
Passionate kisses continued on my face. I felt dizzy, trying desperately to say something, but I
couldn't utter a single word. I could only hold onto this shadow tightly. Suddenly, I was lifted into the air. I didn't know
where I was going, but my heart felt so warm. I landed on the soft bed again. The shadow I was holding seemed to be
leaving . No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hold on. I cried out desperately, "Kiss me! Hold me! Please don't leave!
" Passionate lips returned to my face, to my lips. My clothes were taken off, my body was caressed. I helplessly
grabbed at everything, but couldn't grasp anything. I was being gently caressed, and I murmured in my sleep. Suddenly, something entered me.
Something came, hard and warm. I didn't know what it was, but it gave me warmth and a feeling of fullness.
I murmured, but my lips were quickly covered by a kiss. We lingered like that, half-asleep...
Suddenly, the sunlight felt blinding. I opened my eyes and saw blue curtains. How unfamiliar they were! My head
was throbbing. I patted my forehead, as if remembering something. I looked to the side and jumped out of bed in fright. How could
this ? How could this be? Xu also opened his eyes, smiling at me. I saw a tissue lying under the bed. It
was absurd! I screamed. Xu quickly came over and hugged me, covering my mouth, but it was too late. Xiaoxiao from next door heard
the noise and opened our door. She looked at us with surprise and joy. I buried my head in Xu's chest.
I really didn't know what to do. How could I do this?
I hurriedly ran home. I was restless. I had done something terrible.
In the following days, I deliberately avoided Xu. I worked overtime, didn't go home, and went on business trips
.
I hid like this for half a month. Xu wrote a letter and sent flowers to my office. In the letter, he said that he really liked me, that he didn't take advantage of me that night, but that he really liked me too much, especially since I held onto him. I felt ashamed reading the letter. He said he wanted to take
responsibility for me and marry me for life. It was terrifying.
To avoid Xu, I volunteered to go to Vancouver to expand the market. Ms. Qi, as
a good friend, seemed to notice something was wrong with me and helped me apply for a visa. So, I came to Vancouver. My time in Vancouver
was not easy. My mind was always filled with strange thoughts, and I couldn't concentrate on work. I also always felt
physically exhausted and tired. Besides work, I slept. I barely made it through a month before I
finally settled things at work.
Ms. Qi also came to Vancouver. Business here should be able to grow a lot, since there are many Chinese people.
When Ms. Qi came to see me, she was surprised and thought I had gained a little weight and become much fuller. I said that was for sure. Here,
besides work, I slept. That day, I went to the beach with Mr. Qi to eat seafood. For some reason,
seafood, which I've always loved, suddenly made me want to vomit. I tried to force myself to eat a few bites, but I couldn't hold it in and vomited until my stomach hurt.
I thought I had acute gastroenteritis, so Mr. Qi rushed me to the doctor. The result almost made us both faint: I
was pregnant!
Mr. Qi asked me what I planned to do, and I shook my head. I didn't know what to do. It was such a surprise. I thought
that despicable affair could be erased, but it had planted a seed. That damned Xu,
what can I do with you? Should I make you take responsibility? And the child in my womb, what can I do with you? You're innocent, aren't you? As
a woman , I unconsciously felt a mother's love; I couldn't bear to part with you.
I had no choice but to leave my work to Mr. Qi and return to Guangzhou. Opening the door to my apartment, which had been empty for over a month, I
found my mailbox overflowing with letters—all from Xu. After reading them, I was speechless. Xu was an outstanding
man , successful in his career and a good person; he would have been an excellent choice as a life partner. But feelings
can't be forced, and I couldn't fall in love with him.
I decided to meet Xu. My hands trembled as I called him. I didn't know how to handle this
, but I had to face it.
Xu answered my call, so excited he was incoherent. We met by the Pearl River. He rushed to my side,
grabbed my hand tightly, and cried out fiercely, "Where have you been? Where have you been? How could you leave like this?" Looking at
him
, thinner than before, I was speechless. He must have been frantically searching for me.
"You can hit me, scold me, hate me, but please don't leave without a word. I'm ashamed of what I
did to you, but please believe me, I truly love you. What happened was
beyond my control; it wasn't intentional. I want to take responsibility for you, I want to be good to you for the rest of my life."
Xu hugged me and said all this.
At that moment, I wavered. Perhaps I could have the baby, perhaps I could try to accept
this man. What should I do? Countless questions filled my mind. I slowly took out the doctor's note from Vancouver.
Xu took it, looked at it, and smiled. He reached out to touch my stomach, but I dodged. He said he would
marry . Looking at his child-like face, I sighed inwardly.
I felt extremely ashamed and depressed about the child in my womb. After more than half a month of
persuasion , I finally called my older sister. I didn't say much; my sister didn't know my sexual orientation. I
only told her that I was pregnant. This man is a good person. He wants to marry me. My sister said, "You're not getting any younger
, let's get married." My sister got married three years ago, but she hasn't been able to conceive. Tests revealed
a health problem, which is why I want to keep the baby. Although I'm a lesbian, I still
want a child. So, I went back to Hangzhou with Xu to see my parents. It was the first time my parents had met me with
a boyfriend, and Xu was handsome, had a good personality, and was successful—truly impeccable. My parents readily
agreed to the marriage.
Then I went back to Chongqing with Xu, where his parents warmly welcomed me. Hearing that I was pregnant,
his mother repeatedly urged Xu to treat her well. She took such good care of me, not letting me do anything. It was like living the life of a queen, yet I felt no
joy.
Back in Guangzhou, I went back to work. The morning sickness tormented me; I constantly considered
leaving. I felt lost, even somewhat mentally impaired, often just sitting there blankly, unable to
do or think. Others mostly helped me with my work.
Xu, however, was very enthusiastic. He was considering moving to a bigger house so the baby would have more space, and he was arranging our wedding
. I told him I didn't want anything too grand; let's go on a trip instead. Xu thought about
it , saying that with my pregnancy, not having a wedding was better, so I wouldn't be too tired.
Buying a house, decorating, buying furniture… These things were happening in a flurry of activity, and I
remained indifferent, like an outsider. Xu took care of everything without complaint, even looking after my daily needs. Sometimes,
when I faced him, my conscience pricked me; I felt I was hurting him, that I didn't love him, yet I was occupying his entire life. But
then I thought about how he had also hurt me in the same way, and I treated him coldly. It was such a contradiction!
We moved into our new house quickly. I had the large room all to myself, and I sent Xu to the guest room next door. I
told him I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms and wasn't sleeping well, so I wanted to be alone, and he agreed. Actually, he loved me very much and
indulged me in everything; he was the perfect gentleman. But I couldn't accept him touching my body.
That day, my parents flew from Hangzhou to Guangzhou to visit us. Xu and I went to the airport to pick them up, and then we went out to eat.
During the meal, my parents and Xu chatted very well. I watched him from the side; his handsome face, his good temper,
and I even felt that he had a kind heart. Suddenly, I thought, let's live a good life together, for our parents, for
our children , let's live like friends, respecting each other.
Xu served me some food, and he looked up at me. I smiled at him—the first time in a very long time.
He seemed a little overwhelmed, and his eyes instantly filled with tears. I reached out
and took , and he held mine tightly. From that moment on, I truly had the idea of living a good life together.
After finishing our meal, we stood at the restaurant entrance waiting for Xu to bring the car. My mother and I were chatting when suddenly,
I was violently dragged to the ground. I felt my back hit the ground hard, and the pain brought tears to my eyes. Then I heard my mother
shout, "Robbery! Robbery!" I realized I had been robbed by a motorcyclist. My handbag strap had broken, and
they had stolen it. I felt pain all over my body, especially in my abdomen. In my dazed state, I heard Xu's voice. He
carried me to the car, and then I knew nothing more. When I woke up, I saw
my parents . Xu came over and grabbed my hand tightly, crying, "The baby couldn't be saved." My head spun
. The baby was gone. I was just getting ready to start a new life. How could it be gone? How could it be gone?
I stayed in the hospital for a week and was discharged home. My parents took great care of me. Xu and I shared
a room. Xu politely kept his distance from me and didn't do anything I didn't like.
Now that the child is gone, I should tell Xu I want to break up. I can't waste his life, and I don't want
to suffer .
After seeing my parents off, we went to finalize the divorce. What a farce! A single act of premarital sex
led to a marriage, a short-lived marriage, only five months.

[The End]

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