A slave for life

The story needs to be told slowly. Many novels are simply the author's wild imagination, but I guarantee that over 80% of this story is true! I might add some minor embellishments for plot and drama, but please don't treat my writing as fiction. Think of it as my memoir!

The story begins with a secret I can't tell, a secret that dates back ten years or even longer. But the secret is actually quite simple: I've always had cuckolding tendencies, a classic cuckold!

I'm 185cm tall, with good looks, and professional-level singing skills, making me quite popular with girls. But what they don't know is that beneath these external conditions that many men envy, resides a humble soul! The reason is simple:

my penis is small. When erect, it's about ten centimeters, maybe even less… When flaccid, it's smaller than a thumb in both length and girth…

Perhaps due to this inherent defect, a sense of inferiority gradually evolved into a worship of large penises? I feel unworthy of having sex with women; only muscular men with big dicks are worthy of manipulating women! A few years ago, I saw a muscular man with a big dick at a public bathhouse and almost knelt down to him on the spot. I don't know what came over me... but I just wanted to lick his feet. I felt that kind of man was the real winner in life... Let me make it clear, I'm not gay, absolutely not! Since then, I've never been to a public bathhouse again, because I'm afraid I really wouldn't be able to resist kneeling down to someone on the spot...

My wife, Tingting, and I met in college. She's 172cm tall and weighs 50kg, making her look tall and slender, but her C-cup breasts are so round and high that she looks so well-endowed, not to mention her long legs that I could play with for years!

I don't want to boast that my wife is the goddess of countless people, but during her years at college, whenever there were activities to elect the school beauty or department beauty, she was always one of the candidates. The reason we met was quite ordinary. She was a member of the school's arts and culture department, and I was a contestant representing the physics department in the school's singing competition. She fell for my looks and talent, hehe...

Our first time together ended very hastily. I was a virgin, and she had never been in a relationship before. Two newbies together, we couldn't even find the right spot at first! After struggling for a long time, we finally got it right. Because of excessive excitement and my initial haphazard thrusting, I ejaculated as soon as I penetrated her. Tingting, because of the pain of her first time, didn't experience any pleasure from sex...

That time was actually a big blow to me. Before, I just thought I had a small penis, but I didn't expect that I also had premature ejaculation! Yes, it's premature ejaculation... Even the first time, very few people ejaculate immediately upon penetration... Afterwards, I even subtly inquired with my roommates about their first time; some said five minutes, some said ten minutes... Well, the trauma of that first time still affects me to this day...

In the years that followed, we went out to hotels every week, and I almost never lasted more than ten minutes... Perhaps it's because Tingting had never been with anyone before, or perhaps it's because she had never had an orgasm, that she didn't have that much of a need for sex. On the contrary, it was me, constantly wanting more. It wasn't that I had that strong a libido, but rather that I kept trying to prove that I wasn't a loser, but ultimately I became more and more certain that I really was a loser...

Then I started frantically reading erotic novels about humiliating girlfriends and cuckolding wives, and only watching NTR-themed porn, fantasizing that one day my wife would be fucked by a big-dicked hunchback, fucked to orgasm right in front of me, fucked until she squirted! I forgot to mention, my wife is a bit of a germaphobe, so she strongly resists using sex toys or fingers inside her vagina, even just stimulating her clitoris. So for all these years, I've only used my penis and tongue to service her…

When we were about to graduate from university, we both passed the civil service exam in the same city, which is also my hometown. The issues of housing and cars had already been resolved, so we were truly settled, and naturally, we started considering marriage. During that time, I was quite troubled. My cuckoldry complex became increasingly severe, and I even started to lose all interest in her, preferring to read novels and watch movies while fantasizing and masturbating…

This problem once drove me to the brink of collapse. Later, I anonymously asked this question on Zhihu (a Chinese Q&A website), and one person's answer influenced my entire life… I still clearly remember every word of his answer. He said that since you truly love her, you should be completely open with her. Hiding this kind of thing from her is unfair to her.

If she truly loves you, then she will love everything about you, even things that ordinary people cannot understand! After two days of consideration, I finally decided to tell her my unspeakable secret, without reservation…

I still remember the shocked look on her face after hearing my confession, and we remained silent for a long time… Later, she whispered, “Actually, you don’t need to worry about it. Sex isn’t everything between two people. I’m happy with you even without sex. Besides, sex isn’t really as pleasurable as you say…” Hearing her say that, I still felt a little guilty. I always felt that because of my limitations, I hadn’t given her real pleasure. I told her, “Actually, you’ve never truly experienced the pleasure of sex. You’ve never even had an orgasm, how would you understand that feeling? You can try it once, and if you don’t like it, we’ll never do it again!” Tingting went to bed very late that day and didn’t give me a definite answer…

The days that followed were the same as before, as if nothing had happened, except that my mind was more twisted, even reflecting in my physical body… No longer a virgin, although my stamina was lacking during sex, I had no problem getting an erection, and I could last seven or eight minutes without any problem. But I don't know if it was because I broke that barrier that I became even more desperate for someone to have sex with my wife, to the point that my psychology became so twisted that I had a hard time getting an erection when I had sex with her...

Every time, I would masturbate and give her oral sex, and when I finally got an erection, I would ejaculate after only a couple of thrusts... Finally, one time after I ejaculated, Tingting said to me, "Give me another lick..."

I was really excited at that moment because I knew that she was starting to feel sexually unsatisfied, and my wish might really have a chance to come true! I remember that day when I gave her oral sex, she moaned very loudly...

And a few days later, when I asked her again about wanting to find a single man to have sex with her, she actually fell silent! I knew I had really succeeded. Perhaps it was her shyness, or perhaps she was still rebuilding her worldview, but she didn't openly admit that she had agreed to my proposal. She just quietly cooperated while I posted on the forum to find single men for her…

Since it was our first time, we were very careful. I would chat with each person we felt good about for many days to test their character, and of course, I would also have them send pictures of their penises and bodies to my wife. My wife would often blush after seeing them, and then she would become much more wanton during sex.

In the end, we focused on a student in our university town, let's call him Xiao Chen. Xiao Chen was a male student in the physical education department, 190cm tall, with a muscular but not overly explosive physique, relatively soft lines, and he was also very handsome.

My wife had video chatted with him once before. Of course, because she was shy, she didn't turn on her webcam. She just watched Xiao Chen masturbate while looking at her nude photos on the other end of the computer, without showing her face. I've never seen my wife blush like that before…

Out-of-town college students in our city were our first choice, and considering various other factors, we ultimately chose him. The agreed-upon time was that Saturday!

Chapter One: The Unspeakable Secret

. The story needs to be told slowly. Many novels may be just authors' fantasies, but I guarantee that over 80% of this story is true! I might add some minor embellishments for the sake of plot and drama, but please don't treat my writing as fiction. Well… consider it my memoir!

The story begins with an unspeakable secret of mine, which probably dates back ten years or even longer. But actually, the secret is quite simple: I've always had cuckolding tendencies; I'm a typical cuckold!

I'm 185cm tall, with good looks and professional-level singing skills, making me quite popular with girls. But what they don't know is that beneath this exterior that many men envy and resent, resides a humble soul! The reason is simple: my penis is small.

Hmm… when erect, it's about ten centimeters, maybe even less… when flaccid, it's smaller than a thumb in both length and girth… Perhaps

because of this inherent flaw, a sense of inferiority slowly evolved into a worship of large penises? I felt unworthy to have sex with women; only muscular men with large penises were worthy of manipulating women! A few years ago, I saw a muscular man with a huge penis at a bathhouse and almost knelt down before him. I don't know why… but I just wanted to lick his feet, thinking that kind of man was the real winner in life… Let me make it clear, I'm not gay, absolutely not! Since then, I've never been to a public bathhouse again, because I'm afraid I might actually kneel down on the spot...

My wife, Tingting, and I met in college. She's 172cm tall and weighs 50kg, making her look tall and slender, but her C-cup breasts, round and high, make her look so well-endowed, not to mention her long legs that I could play with for years!

I don't want to boast that my wife is everyone's goddess, but during her years at school, whenever there were events to elect campus beauties or department beauties, she was always one of the candidates. The reason we met was quite ordinary. She was a member of the school's arts and culture department, and I was a contestant representing the physics department in the school's singing competition. Then she fell for my looks and talent, hehe...

Our first time together ended very hastily. I was a virgin, and she had never been in a relationship before. Two newbies together, at the beginning, we couldn't even find the right spot! After much trial and error, I finally got it right. Due to excessive excitement and my initial haphazard thrusting, I ejaculated immediately upon penetration. Tingting, because of the pain of her first time, didn't experience any pleasure...

That experience was a huge blow to me. Before, I just thought I had a small penis, but I never imagined I had premature ejaculation! Yes, premature ejaculation... Even the first time, very few people ejaculate immediately upon penetration... Afterwards, I even subtly inquired with my roommates about their first time; some said five minutes, some said ten minutes... Well, the trauma of that first time still affects me...

In the years that followed at school, we went to hotels every week, and I almost never lasted more than ten minutes... Perhaps it's because Tingting had never been with anyone before, or perhaps it's because she had never experienced an orgasm, that she didn't have that much sexual desire. On the contrary, it was me who kept wanting more. It wasn't that I had such a strong sex drive, but I kept trying to prove that I wasn't a loser. But in the end, I became more and more certain that I really was a loser...

Then I started to frantically read erotic novels about humiliating girlfriends and cuckolding wives, and I only watched NTR-themed porn. I fantasized that one day my wife would be fucked by a big-dicked hunchback in front of me, fucked to orgasm, fucked until she squirted! I forgot to mention that my wife is a little bit of a germaphobe, so she strongly resists using props or fingers to penetrate her vagina, even just stimulating her clitoris. So for all these years, I've only used my penis and tongue to serve her...

When we were about to graduate from college, we both passed the civil service exam in the same city, which is also my hometown. The issues of housing and cars had already been resolved, so we were truly settled. Naturally, we started to consider marriage. During that time, I was really troubled. My cuckoldry complex became increasingly severe, and I even started to lose all interest in her, preferring to read novels and watch movies while fantasizing and masturbating...

This problem once drove me to the brink of collapse. Later, I anonymously asked this question on Zhihu, and one person's answer influenced my entire life... I still clearly remember every word of his answer. He said that since you truly love her, you should be completely open with her. Hiding this kind of thing from her is unfair to her.

If she truly loves you, then she will love everything about you, even things that ordinary people cannot understand! After considering it for two days, I finally decided to tell her my unspeakable secret, without reservation...

I still remember the shocked look on her face after hearing my confession, and we were silent for a long time... Later, she whispered, "Actually, you don't need to worry about it. Sex isn't everything between two people. I'm happy with you even without sex. Besides, sex isn't really as pleasurable as you say..." Hearing her say this, I still felt a little guilty. I always felt that because of my limitations, I hadn't given her real pleasure. I told her, "Actually, you've never truly experienced the pleasure of sex. You've never even had an orgasm, how could you understand that feeling? You can try it once, and if you don't like it, we'll never do it again!" Tingting stayed up very late that night and didn't give me a definite answer...

The days that followed were the same as before, as if nothing had happened, except that my mind became more twisted, even reflecting in my physical state... No longer a virgin, although my stamina during sex was lacking, I had no problem getting an erection, and could last seven or eight minutes without issue. But I don't know if it was because I had broken that barrier, but I became even more eager for someone to have sex with my wife, to the point that my mind became so twisted that I had difficulty getting an erection even when having sex with her...

Every time, I would masturbate and give her oral sex, and when I finally got an erection, I would ejaculate after only a couple of thrusts... Finally, one time after I ejaculated, Tingting said to me, "Give me another lick..."

I was really excited at that moment because I knew that she was starting to feel unsatisfied, and my wish might really have a chance to come true! I remember the day I gave her oral sex, she screamed really loudly…

But a few days later, when I asked her again about finding a single man to have sex with, she actually fell silent! I knew I had really succeeded. Maybe it was a girl's modesty, or maybe she was still in the process of rebuilding her worldview, but she didn't openly admit that she had agreed to my proposal. She just silently cooperated while I posted on the forum to find single men for her…

Since it was our first time, we were very careful. I would chat with each person we felt good about for many days to test their character, and of course, I would also ask them to send pictures of their penises and bodies to my wife. My wife would often blush when she saw them, and then she would become much more wanton during sex.

In the end, we settled on a student in our university town, let's call him Xiao Chen. Xiao Chen was a male student in the physical education department, 190cm tall, with a muscular but not overly explosive physique, relatively soft lines, and he was also very handsome.

My wife had video chatted with him once before. Of course, because she was shy, she didn't turn on her webcam. She just watched Xiao Chen masturbate to her nude photos on the other end of the computer. Anyway, I've never seen my wife blush like that before...

Out-of-town college students in our city were our first choice. In addition, we chose him based on various factors. The agreed time was Saturday of that week!

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A slave for life

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