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【Lament】Author: xiaohuaihuo 

Author: xiaohuaihuo
Word Count: 9095
I.
What is longing? It is indeed something that cannot be clearly expressed in words. It causes
great pain, yet it is always inescapable, constantly swirling in the mind; whether eating, sleeping, or doing
other things, you can never escape it, unless you engage in intense exercise, bringing your body to a state of complete exhaustion,
and your mind to a state where you are too weak to think of anything, leaving you with nothing but the desire to sleep and rest
.
This was the most painful feeling I had after my first separation from Ping'er. Whenever I walked on a bustling street, I
always fantasized that Ping'er would suddenly appear before me: her slightly upturned, adorable lips, her
large, blinking eyes staring at me; or perhaps she would suddenly playfully pat my
shoulder from behind, and I would know it was her without even turning around. In the quiet streets and alleys, the person walking out, I truly hoped that it
was Ping'er. But this never happened, and I knew it was impossible!
The long holiday finally ended.
Ping'er's familiar figure finally appeared in my sight like a dream.
She was still wearing that light green top I liked, and still had that graceful, tall figure.
Ping'er practically ran into my arms.
Her eyes were clearly brimming with tears, but more than that, they were filled with unspoken joy.
Ping'er naturally took my arm.
"Where to?... " Her voice was still melodious, soft, and beautiful, her eyes blinking as she
asked. "   Whatever
you say..." Her mind was blank, so comfortable...   Ping'er excitedly recounted the wonders of her holiday like a little bird.   You just need to be a good listener, occasionally chiming in with a word or two!   Perhaps this is happiness!   One day, the excited Ping'er fell silent on the way back to school.   When we were almost at the school gate, I stopped. Turning to look at Ping'er's pretty face, I deliberately asked   , "Where to..."   "Whatever you say..." Ping'er blushed and snuggled even closer to me. I turned my head, deliberately looking away   , pretending to be nonchalant.   The room was on the fifth floor.   Just as I was about to head towards the elevator, Ping'er grabbed my arm.   Pouting, she said coquettishly, "Let's take the stairs..."   "Hey, big sister, this is the fifth floor..."   "I just want to take the stairs..." she pouted, grabbing one of my fingers and shaking it...   "We've been shopping all day...aren't you tired..."   "I just want to take the stairs..."   "Sigh, I give up! Who told me to end up with a little brat like you..."   Ping'er cheered, a triumphant and cunning expression on her face.   "Honey, my feet hurt, I can't walk anymore..." Ping'er cried out pitifully after we'd only gone halfway up the first floor.   "That's perfect, let's take the elevator..."   "No way..."   "What kind of crazy idea are you thinking now..."   "Carry me on your back..."   "Please, my dear wife, you weigh over a hundred pounds..."   "Forty-two kilograms. Don't ever mention a word with 'hundred' in it again, understand? Otherwise, you'll be killed without mercy   ..."   "Then kill me..."   "Dream on, carry me upstairs first, then chop me up..."   "Heavens above! Did you see that? Someone's trying to murder their husband..."   "Go ahead and shout... Are you going to carry me or not...? God is on my side..."   "This is outrageous..."   "Squat down, let me mount you..."   Ping'er's face was pressed tightly against mine, her face full of happiness.   "Husband, are you tired..." Ping'er asked, feigning concern.   "Not tired, how could I be tired carrying such a beautiful wife..." Actually, I was already drenched in sweat.   "That's more like it. Considering your good behavior, let's take the elevator..."   "Thank you for your consideration, my dear wife..." I was about to bend down and put her down.   "Carrying you in the elevator, are you trying to slack off..."   "I wouldn't dare..." I felt even the sweat I was sweating tasted blissful. I still   let her carry me when we opened the door.   Once inside, we both collapsed onto the bed.   Before I could even catch my breath, Ping'er pounced on me, tightly embracing my head and kissing me   .   Our lips met tightly.   I responded excitedly.   Ping'er was so excited.   I held her tightly, afraid she would slip away.   Our mouths sucked and kissed passionately, our tongues fighting and intertwining inside our mouths.   We rolled from one end of the bed to the other, and then back again.   I pressed myself against Ping'er, one hand already withdrawn from behind. I shifted my body slightly away from her   , quickly unbuttoning her outer garment. Through her wool shirt, I vigorously kneaded, grabbed, and pinched   her soft, elastic breasts.   My hand continued to move deeper. Pushing open her shirt, I revealed her snow-white skin, her not-too-large breasts   tightly protected by her bra. Those long-lost peaks were finally beneath my palms. I kneaded and caressed them   … My lips parted,   and I kissed every inch   of Ping'er's eyelashes, ears, face, nose, and even her smooth hair .   My mouth continued down Ping'er's neck.   I sucked on her erect, pink nipples, teasing them with my tongue…   My hand slowly caressed Ping'er's smooth abdomen, continuing to slide down…   I gently unbuttoned her jeans, slowly sliding them down.   My fingers have already touched a few soft hairs and the pubic bone.   Ping'er's vulva is already wet.































































My middle finger reached the entrance first.
Just as I was about to go deeper, Ping'er's hand pressed down on it...
Ping'er's other hand had already grasped my swollen and aching penis...
I exerted a little force, freeing myself from her hand, and slowed my advance; I grabbed her inner and outer pants and pulled them down
to Ping'er's ankles. I quickly pulled down my own pants.
My penis had already impatiently sprang out of my pants...
proudly and arrogantly displayed...
I gently parted Ping'er's legs with both hands.
The grass around Ping'er's honeypot was already disheveled and wet...
I aimed my dragon root at Ping'er's fleshy hole, rubbed it against the entrance a few times, and Ping'er was already moaning eagerly; without
any buffer, I thrust hard, and with the slippery little water, I went all the way in...
Ping'er cried out "Ah!"... That long-lost sound of satisfaction was so intoxicating...
I held Ping'er's legs with both hands and began to thrust vigorously...
Ping'er's breathing became heavier and heavier...
That long-suppressed desire finally found a place to be released at this moment...
I could no longer control my movements, the frequency of my thrusts became faster and faster, and the force became stronger and stronger
...
Ping'er's legs had been raised at some point and wrapped around my waist...
Her eyes were a little dazed, and she made indistinct sounds.
My honey pot was already overflowing...
The "sizzling" sounds of thrusting, the "slapping" sounds of flesh colliding, and
Ping'er's moans filled the room...
Ping'er finally let go of her inhibitions completely, her moans grew louder, her breathing became heavier, and her grip on my
hands tightened...
I knew Ping'er's orgasm was imminent...
I thrust faster and harder...
Ping'er's vagina began to contract, and I could clearly feel it tightening and biting my penis...
Ping'er's orgasm came...
I couldn't take it anymore, I was about to explode... I
continued to thrust desperately...
With a final, powerful thrust, the semen that had been accumulating for so long finally gushed out, right inside Ping'er's
vagina...
Exhausted and relieved, I collapsed onto Ping'er...
I don't know how much time had passed, but Ping'er gently nudged me and said softly, "Get up, it's leaking out..."
Ping'er had recovered.
"Wife, I want to hold you and sleep a little longer..."
"Good girl, listen to me... Get up... It's all over the bed... Clean it up first..." My
penis was already limp, and it had squeezed out from between her legs.
I kissed Ping'er's little face, sat up holding her, and wiped the fluid off our bodies
...
We playfully took a hot shower together and went back to bed.
We made love a few more times before finally falling asleep in each other's arms, exhausted.
II.
Summer vacation arrived again, and we rented a small room of about ten square meters.
The room wasn't big, but it was enough for us. We divided the room into two sections,
separated by a wire and a piece of cloth. Nails were nailed to the left and right walls, the wire was wrapped around the nails
, and the cloth was threaded through the wire. In the front section, a double desk was placed by the window. On it were
a gas stove, two porcelain bowls, two pairs of chopsticks, and some simple cooking utensils. A
folding table, bought for twenty-five yuan, served as our dining table; two small plastic stools. In another room, there was a bed; on the bed
were the school-issued blankets, sheets, and pillows; next to the bed, close to the window, was a single desk with
a comb and a few other toiletries that Ping'er used—Ping'er never wore makeup, and her skincare routine consisted
of just one bottle of Dabao (a popular Chinese skincare brand); Ping'er was very confident about this. A small mirror hung on the wall above the desk. The four
walls were whitewashed and relatively clean; the small room had been rented before, and
traces of the previous owner remained on the walls. Ping'er spent a few yuan to buy two paintings she liked and covered them;
one was a serene landscape; the other was a picture of Ping'er's favorite celebrity; the paintings were pasted crookedly. Ping'er said: "
When I'm standing, I don't have the leisure to appreciate them; only when I'm lying in bed do I feel that comfort." That
was all for the small room!
Meanwhile, we each found a summer tutoring job. The pay wasn't high, enough to cover rent
and meals for this little room.
And coincidentally, both jobs were in the morning, with afternoons off. This was our personal space
.
We had a nearly new bicycle. Although old, it added
a lot to our happy life: every morning, I would use it to take Ping'er to her tutoring job; at noon, after finishing my own tutoring
, I would go to Ping'er's place early to wait. Ping'er would sit on the back rack, and I would take her back to our
little room. In the afternoon, we would take Ping'er shopping, to the countryside…
Of course, there were also times when after finishing our tutoring in the morning and having lunch, we would hide in our little room all day without going out.
The most alluring things are often those that are attainable but not so easily obtained.
Sex is such a thing.
When we lived in the dormitory, we always thought about it, yet it was always so difficult.
It wasn't that we didn't want to, but the conditions didn't allow it: we always had to sneak around, find an opportunity, find a safe
place, and hastily finish it off. If we were lucky, we could do it once a week; if not, we'd be
lucky to do it once every two weeks, or even once a month. During that time, we'd just sneak a kiss, a quick touch, a couple of rubs in a secluded spot; or
maybe find a quiet place to slip our hands inside each other's underwear and have a good time. Back then, renting a hotel room was
a huge expense, so we rarely went. As Ping'er would say, "You're always like you're starving..."
Now, with our own personal space, our interest in sex has actually decreased a lot; Ping'er feels the same way.
In the beginning, we did it almost every day, tirelessly; the most extreme time, we used six condoms in one afternoon.
As a result, Ping'er's lower body became swollen and painful for several days. My back also ached for two days, and my penis hadn't
been erect for days. Ping'er teased me, and I teased her.
Most of the time, we were just bored.
One day, Ping'er and I really didn't feel like going out, so we lay in bed.
Ping'er rested her head on one of my arms, and I listlessly looked at the pattern on the curtains and lit a cigarette.
Ping'er strongly opposed my smoking, and I really wasn't addicted.
Now, holding Ping'er, lying in bed smoking, Ping'er didn't object at all—it must have been really boring
!
So, holding Ping'er, smoking, neither of us spoke, nor did we have any desire.
Ping'er, however, wasn't idle: half-lying on me, touching my hair, twisting my ear, tugging at my nipples…
In
the small room, I always wore only a pair of shorts, shirtless; but Ping'er, as soon as she entered the small room, would
take off her coat and bra, wearing only a nightgown.
Just then…
Ping’er suddenly had a whim, rolled over, and pinned me down, looking at me slyly, and said,
“Hey, honey… tell me, what do you guys do when you don’t have girlfriends and you want to…”
“Masturbate…”
“How do you masturbate…”
“Use your hand to stroke it…”
“How do you stroke it…”
“Haven’t done it in a long time, forgot… Why are you asking this…”
“I don’t believe you, tell me…” she said, looking persistent.
“Are you bored out of your mind…”
“I just want to know…”
“What kind of curiosity is that…”
“No, just let me masturbate, let me see…” she said, getting up and snatching the cigarette from my hand
.
"I forgot..."
"Come on, demonstrate, my good husband..."
"Holding such a beautiful woman in my arms, with such a wonderful hole, why would I want to masturbate..."
"What? You won't listen to reason, so you'll have to drink the penalty cup... Do you agree or not..."
"But, I don't have that thought right now... My little penis isn't cooperating either..."
"That's none of your concern..." Saying that, she pulled down my big pants, revealing my limp penis
.
"See? It's not supporting your work..."
"Little brat, watch me wake it up..."
Ping'er made a face, twitched her little upturned nose, and tried her best to look charming...
but my penis still didn't react much.
Ping'er continued to act coquettishly, rubbing her breasts against my body...
Seeing that my penis still wasn't fully erect, she started to feign moaning,
gently stroking my testicles and penis...
Just those breasts and that sound were enough to make me unable to resist...
My penis was finally awakened, proudly raising its head. With the friction of Ping'er 's breasts and that
lewd sound, the glans became even more purplish-black and shiny...
Ping'er was beaming with joy.
"I'm warning you, you little vixen, in a little while, I won't care about anything else. I'm going to really
go for it, so don't blame me for not warning you beforehand; begging for mercy won't work, you little brat, you'll have
to suffer the consequences..."
"I'm not afraid of you..." Ping'er said with a grin.
"But I still want you to masturbate for me first..." She became a rogue again.
"I don't care anymore..." I said, about to turn over and get ready to go; but she held me down tightly.
"Give me a handjob..."
"No, I'd rather die than give in..."
"I'll kill you, or I'll make you suffocate, will you give in or not..."
"I won't suffocate, I'd rather die than give in..."
"Husband, good husband... let me see..." She started to whine again.
"I give up, I've fallen for you, you little girl... if you want to give in, give in yourself..."
"Thank you, husband..."
"Don't thank me, hurry up, you're going to burst if you don't let it out soon..."
"Okay... okay... how do I give in..."
"Hands, hold the stick, stroke up and down... yes... a little lighter, the skin is going to be rubbed off...
a little lighter... a little slower..."
I took the opportunity to grab Ping'er's soft breasts with both hands and kept kneading them...
"Faster, grip a little harder... faster... harder... faster... faster..."
After about two or three minutes, Ping'er gradually mastered the technique and didn't need me to remind her anymore.
Later, I really didn't have the time to remind her anymore. Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer, and my body trembled,
gushing out a stream of white semen.
Ping'er was focused on the piston-like motion with her head down, and before she could react,
most of the white semen sprayed onto her face: her eyelashes, her hair. This time, it really startled Ping'er
.
Immediately afterward, there was Ping'er's giggling laughter...
"It's all your fault, you got it all over my face... and in my mouth too, it tastes so bad... ptooey... ptooey... you bad
guy, you did it on purpose..."
"The gun is in your hand, you say where to shoot, we'll shoot there... don't blame others," I said mischievously.
"It was you who did it on purpose... and you still say..." Ping'er wasn't in a hurry to clean herself up.
I watched Ping'er laugh, her little pink fists pounding against me like drums, as she playfully cried out, "It's
you, it's you..."
Her white fluids continued to drip...
III.
A mundane life can stifle anything beautiful in the world; it can pulverize even the most beautiful things
, leaving you with no trace of beauty!
Life is like that; it requires both people to carefully cultivate and enrich it.
Ping'er is a woman who is very good at enriching life, and she does it with great care.
Because of this, our life is full of memories and joy.
Ping'er and I didn't deliberately avoid sex. When we wanted to, a single glance or gesture was enough for us
to understand each other.
Even when we weren't in the mood, Ping'er only needed to feign a seductive moan, pout her lips, or make a flirtatious
gesture, and my penis would immediately become aroused.
Once, I joked, "Don't be fooled by the fact that this thing is on my body. Actually, it's yours
. I'm just storing it away. It completely obeys you. Removing it won't affect me at all. You're
its true master! On the contrary, you're always being served so comfortably by it. If you didn't have it one day,
you'd only have cucumbers to make do with..."
"What's even more infuriating is that it's more obedient to you than to me: when I try to make it hard, it just lies there asleep;
when I try to make it sleep, it proudly raises its head and looks around; but you, with just a couple of whimpers,
it immediately becomes erect. The most intolerable thing is that all the essence I've painstakingly accumulated is
all transferred to you by this thing. It's simply a traitorous little bastard..."
Actually, Ping'er was at that moment resting her chin on one hand and fiddling with my penis with the other, idly
playing with it on the bed.
After hearing my long speech, she immediately perked up.
"Well said, well said..." she laughed, clapping her hands and shouting.
Then, she jumped off the bed in a flash, grabbed my penis, and pulled it off the bed, giggling,
"My good baby, let's go... let's go home with Mommy... don't follow this big bad brother anymore...
let's go home..."
As she spoke, she actually grabbed my penis and dragged me off the bed, laughing as she pulled me towards the door.
"Hey, be gentle, you're going to fall off..."
"It's good that you've fallen off, I'll play with it..."
"Aren't you ashamed? A grown girl, playing with this thing all day long... it's so embarrassing."
"It's none of your business... you can't even play with it yet..."
I stepped forward and covered Ping'er's mons pubis with one hand.
"Fine, I'll take my condom too..."
"Take it, no one's stopping you... if you're so capable, take it and play with it too..." She put on an expression of complete submissiveness
.
As I spoke, I slipped one hand between Ping'er's legs, wrapped the other around her neck, and lifted her up
, throwing her onto the bed.
"Second brother, grab your gear, get ready for battle, we're going to have a big fight... We have to teach
this little rascal a lesson..."
After all that, my penis was already rock hard.
While holding Ping'er, I deliberately rubbed her mons pubis a few times, my thumb intentionally or unintentionally rubbing
the clitoris above her opening...
Ping'er just smiled, offering no resistance, letting me do as I pleased.
What followed, of course, was a fierce battle...
IV.
Another morning, I suddenly woke up from a deep sleep to find Ping'er lying there, playing with my penis with a serious expression.
"What are you doing... Can't you let people sleep this early in the morning..."
Ping'er, seeing I was awake, leaned down and swallowed my entire penis into her mouth.
Although Ping'er had given me oral sex a few times before, it had always been passive; she had never
been so proactive as she was today.
Ping'er said she always felt the place where she relieved herself was dirty, and before she would give me oral sex, she would always make me wash it thoroughly
; Ping'er also didn't really like me giving her oral sex, for the same reason.
This time, for some reason, Ping'er was so proactive.
How could I miss such an opportunity?
I pulled Ping'er's body towards me, ripped off the panties covering her mons pubis, wrapped my hands around
her buttocks, pressed her vulva against my mouth, and began
to suck hard on her cute little slit, my tongue forcefully pushing into the opening, stirring vigorously after entering; my teeth
would occasionally lightly bite Ping'er's labia, and when I had the chance, my tongue would tease the clitoris.
At this moment, Ping'er's head was completely buried between my legs, her hands tightly wrapped around my buttocks, and she was working hard with
her mouth up and down on my penis; she seemed to have completely forgotten my efforts below her.
A moment later, she freed one hand to hold my thick, hard penis, pressed her face against it, and sucked on my
testicles, taking turns taking both balls into her mouth; then she licked the outside of my penis with the tip of her tongue.
I was aroused, forcing myself not to think about it, focusing on my oral sex; Ping'er seemed to be approaching orgasm as well
, her vaginal fluids increasing, almost like an inexhaustible spring; she was probably also strongly suppressing
her orgasm.
We were like a life-or-death tug-of-war: whoever defeated the opponent first, making them
surrender, would be the winner.
The urge to ejaculate grew stronger and stronger.
I suddenly rolled over, pinning Ping'er beneath me. The previous back-and-forth pushing and pulling of my hips, the
up-and-down movement, turned into me being on top, taking the initiative—thrusting in and out of Ping'er's mouth; I didn't
lessen my oral skills either—my mouth, teeth, and tongue were all engaged: sucking, biting, thrusting, stirring

the water in her cave was like a floodgate opening, gushing forth.
As the frequency and force of my thrusting in Ping'er's mouth increased, my strength in Ping'er's mons pubis also grew stronger
. Finally, I almost forgot it was Ping'er's mouth, my dragon pillar penetrating deep into Ping'er's throat each time…
I was about to surrender: "Wife, I'm going to cum…"
As I said this, I tried to arch my body so that my penis could be pulled out of Ping'er's mouth, avoiding
ejaculating into her mouth.
When we first got together, Ping'er, out of curiosity,
once dipped her finger in the semen I had ejaculated onto her abdomen and tasted it on the tip of her tongue. She immediately spat it out, spitting it out for almost the entire day. The next
day, she told me that she still felt a strange taste in her mouth.
Although Ping'er performed oral sex on me a few more times, I never ejaculated inside her mouth. I always held back until I was about to
ejaculate before pulling out and releasing it outside.
This time was different. Although I tried to pull my penis out of Ping'er's mouth, she held onto
my buttocks tightly—preventing it from leaving her mouth.
At the same time, she made "mmm...mmm..." sounds with my large penis inside her mouth. Because her mouth was stuffed full
, I couldn't hear what she was saying.
My body shuddered, my glans tightened, and a thick stream of semen shot into Ping'er's mouth.
My penis went limp, but Ping'er still held me tightly; she gently bit my limp
penis with her teeth and licked the glans a few times with her tongue...
until I rolled off Ping'er, a few drops of white semen remained at the corner of her mouth.
Ping'er looked at me with a smile, letting her vaginal opening gurgle and drip with love fluid...
I quickly cleaned the love fluid left on both of us, pulled Ping'er into my arms, and gently asked,
"Wife, what's wrong today..."
"Nothing... haven't you always wanted this..."
"Don't you feel uncomfortable... don't you hate this smell?"
"I'm willing..." Ping'er looked at me affectionately and said.
I hugged Ping'er tighter and kissed her forehead heavily. Ping'er nestled
against me like a little bird, pressing even closer...
Yes, because of "willingness," isn't that the best reason!
— There is no right or wrong between people who truly love each other, only whether they are "willing"...
To be able to grow old with such a woman, as a man, what more could you ask for...
V.
Like most college campus romances, the ending is the same: we broke up!
Ping'er wanted to take the postgraduate entrance exam, and from both a personal and family perspective, she had to continue her studies. We were both very clear about this
from the beginning, and I absolutely supported it.
Ping'er hugged me, crying, "I just want to be with you, nothing else matters
, okay?..."
Ping'er was crying, and my heart ached. I knew Ping'er was absolutely true to her word; I knew even more clearly
that Ping'er didn't have any grand ambitions or goals to achieve. She told me she only liked
simplicity. Ping'er often said: happiness and pain are just a matter of perspective; only you can truly understand it,
it has nothing to do with others or material things!
Although I know how much I yearn to be with Ping'er every moment, forever inseparable
; Ping'er is happy when we're together, and I can give Ping'er happiness; but I also clearly know that
I can't give Ping'er the happiness she deserves. Happiness requires a certain material foundation, which I don't have!
Ping'er and I are just two straight lines in space, two straight lines that only meet at this moment and in this place in the vast universe
. We meet, our paths intersect, and after that point, each continues along its own destined path. Because
it's a straight line, it can only move forward, never backward; and because it's a straight line, they can only have one and only
point of intersection.
Decisions are easy to make, words are easy to utter. But time is the most unbearable
.
After separation, it's something only those who have experienced unforgettable love can truly understand! Language,
words—if they could express it, it wouldn't be called pain…
Drunkenness was my constant state at first. My mind was always hazy, filled with self-blame, regret, and longing

I don't know how Ping'er will get through that period. Ping'er is a strong
girl who doesn't easily show her emotions; her pain is definitely no less than mine. I can numb myself with alcohol, I can run wildly…
What
will Ping'er do…
Besides crying alone when she's alone, what else can she do…
When we were together, Ping'er could confide in me when she had grievances, but now, to whom can she confide? …
I regretted it once. I found the city where Ping'er lived, got off the train, but before even leaving the station, I got
back on the return train…
Ping'er came looking for me too; she knew how to find me, but I didn't see her…
"Ping'er, you look so haggard, you've lost so much weight…" my classmate said weakly to me after a long time.
Epilogue
After that, no one mentioned Ping'er in front of me again…
and I deliberately didn't ask…
Years later, a few classmates gathered, and one of them mentioned Ping'er again: A year
after graduation, Ping'er was admitted to a good graduate program in a certain city; during that time, she had a relationship, but they broke up soon after,
and I hadn't heard of her dating anyone else; after graduating with her master's degree, she went to Shenzhen and got a very good job…
I didn't say anything, just listened quietly…
After my classmate finished speaking, he fell silent, just like me…

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