I will never play the "wife-swapping game" again.

I'll Never Play "Wife Swapping" Again
Author: Unknown
Layout: tim118
Word Count: 5980
When I got back to my dorm at 10:30, I went straight up to the sixth floor. The three numbers on the doorplate, 619,
seemed to be smiling coldly at me, as if they were sizing up my sudden visit… I shook my head helplessly and turned back downstairs—my
dorm was on the fourth floor.
I knew I was a little "preoccupied."
I'd been staring at the computer for two hours now, my mind overflowing with guilt.
With nothing to do, I ate a snack, drank cola. Food made me simple, careless, and indescribable… But continuing
might just mean more staring, or meaningless writing and deleting, deleting and writing… I didn't
have the courage to openly express the feelings accumulating in my chest… I won't be pretentious, I won't be sarcastic, and I don't want to be a hopeful
storyteller, adding a happy ending or touching plot to every story. I'm just thinking about
how to tell a story without hurting kind people.
I sent out a SOS in the dead of night, and a friend said, "Follow your heart... There will always be regrets in the truth
..."
My own heart? I don't even understand myself. I think I'll just make a simple, difficult statement
.
Today is my partner's birthday. I only sent him a message to wish him a happy birthday at almost 12:30, because I've been thinking about
how to record these past two days, whether to downplay it or avoid the important parts, but in any case, I need to leave myself
an opportunity to reflect on it.
Many friends have found out about our whereabouts these past two days, and some friends are looking forward to my story, I know
. But perhaps I will disappoint you, because what you will see will not be happiness, or rather, impure
happiness, or perhaps it can only be considered a kind of luck, because we just met a very good couple, a
very simple, kind, warm, and loving couple.
We met them (I will refer to the husband as C and his wife as Q below) at a restaurant in Tianjin.
Knowing that we like spicy food, they went to great lengths to treat us to hot pot.
Seeing them wave, we sat down facing each other and started talking about the weather, the climate differences between Tianjin and Beijing
. Later, the men's topic shifted to cross-strait relations, while Q and I remained relatively silent.
I didn't dare look at C; I felt I would reveal my expression or intentions. For a moment, I felt like I
had fallen from a height of fantasy to the ground, the clear feeling of falling bringing clarity to my mind.
To be honest, I felt we were better suited as friends than as having sex.
Sure enough, when we went to karaoke after dinner, everyone relaxed and forgot what they were actually supposed to be doing. My husband
was very happy, drinking beer and singing old songs from his memories, as if he had returned to the season of love. He held a microphone in one
hand, pointed at me with the other, and sang "My favorite is you..." His dreamy eyes moved me. They
sang duets intimately and were also very happy. We all passed the time so casually, the dim lighting producing no feeling whatsoever
, and the love songs we sang were just beautiful notes... No one knew what they should or shouldn't
do.
Around 11:30, we took a taxi together to their house.
This was a typical couple's world. The interior was simple and cozy. Stepping out of the living room, there was a large
balcony. My cramped feeling suddenly eased for a moment; the night breeze was gentle. As C walked onto the balcony, her
hand briefly lingered on my waist, and I suddenly tensed up.
After sitting for a while, I went to take a shower. Q brought me one of her nightgowns. I repeatedly told my husband I wanted something modest
, but when I came out, I still noticed half of my breast and clearly visible areolas...
I covered my chest with my hands and sat next to my husband. Everyone took turns showering, and the rest of us were rather silent.
At that time, a channel was broadcasting "The Legend of the Condor Heroes."
Afterward, we all sat dutifully in the living room watching TV until after 1 a.m. the next morning.
The lights were bright, and there was no hint of ambiguity between us, so the hostess turned off the living room lights.
Everyone started to smile knowingly.
I was actually a little reluctant because C wasn't my type (I'm sorry).
But with the lights off, the visual pressure lessened considerably, so we started to create a sense of ambiguity.
When we all sat on the sofa, C put his arm around my shoulder and his right hand around my chest… I didn’t refuse; at that
moment, the situation controlled everything. I saw my husband sitting properly, and I suddenly felt sorry for Q, so I
encouraged him with my eyes. At that time, I felt relaxed; perhaps the brief physical pleasure gave me a rare sense of tolerance and acceptance
…
Later, we did it in separate rooms, and it felt unfamiliar. Because of different habits or other reasons,
my pleasure didn’t come as expected… During our time together, C kept thinking about his lover, and I turned my head
to one side and smiled understandingly. Later, Q came to see us, but only glanced at us before running out again. After Q left, she
cried…
This reminded me of myself… But strangely, I didn’t shed a single tear, and I couldn’t even find a trace of sadness
… My husband, C, and I were all comforting her.
Her crying was very infectious; her tears intensified the emotional element of this game. I think authenticity is
good; if everyone is indulging in pure physical pleasure, it will make us feel even more miserable, and we
might even begin to doubt our attitude towards love.
Women are always a bit sensitive, and I felt a deep tenderness for her, as if I were tenderly caring for myself.
So I had my husband hold her, while I hugged him from behind
. Actually, I needed him too at that moment, but I didn't say it.
My head rested against his back, feeling the warmth of his chest.
This familiar, warm embrace… I couldn't bear to leave.
It took a long time for her emotions to calm down, which I think was because of the simultaneous comfort from two men.
Q and I both believed that the men derived more pleasure from this game than the women, and we were very friendly then. Her
smile was captivating.
After showering separately, we sat back down in the living room. We discussed how to sleep that night.
Actually, while showering, I had clearly told my husband, "I don't want to spend the whole night with C."
It's true, I didn't think at the time that I didn't want my husband to spend the night with another woman. I was just
strongly insisting based on
my own feelings. So everyone tried to conceal their opinions during the discussion. Of course, expressing them explicitly would inevitably
hurt some vulnerable souls.
I smiled and said, "I'm still not used to sleeping with strangers." If the lights were on, everyone would have seen my honest,
undisguised smile.
They didn't really agree with me, because they were still discussing it. "You decide, I'm fine with whatever,"
all three of them said. I suddenly felt a sadness… my mood was low, yet I was stubborn.
Perhaps they were all hoping for a new feeling of sleep.
I insisted, "Let's sleep with our own people, otherwise… I really won't be used to it."
They agreed. Because my reasons were perfectly reasonable.
My husband and I returned to the room, and naturally, a slight unpleasantness occurred.
I am a selfish, willful, and capricious woman. I blame my husband for disregarding my feelings, for not
cherishing me, for not loving me as he claims, for all sorts of other things… My bizarre and demanding questions often
leave him speechless. I hit him, pinch him, twist him, and make him swear he loves me… I turn my back,
cross my arms, my hair hanging lonely on my chest, tears streaming down my face, my breathing heavy and labored. I feel that sex makes everything
fragile; I am sad, I am afraid, I am lonely…
I think of any man I can remember: when I think of Z, I desperately want to send him a text
message at three in the morning… I told him I missed him, missed his pure, almost monotonous emotions. I knew he would say the world is better when it's pure, so
I deeply missed my pure life from the past… I thought of Xiao Tang, I thought of WXY, I thought of WY, I thought of the unfamiliar
“feelings”… Back then, anyone who showed me concern could become my confidant
… My tears had already soaked my temples… Just then, C pushed open the door and said to my husband that
they should switch beds. I was very, very unhappy when I heard this, but I didn't say a word. My breathing sounded
strange to him, so he asked my husband what was wrong. My husband said he was crying. He asked why, and my husband said he didn't know.
So
he said, “Then you two can sleep…”
After C left, I pretended to be calm and said, “Disappointed, aren’t you? Why don’t you come over? I’m fine sleeping alone… I
won’t be angry, really.”
My husband smiled and hugged me tightly. I tried to dodge, but he held me tighter; I dodged again, but he held me
tighter… Finally, feeling wronged, I nestled into his arms, listing all his faults, and cried my eyes out…
He
started kissing my earlobe… We made love well, worked up a sweat, but then fell into a deep sleep
. I was still in the same position, hugging him tightly from behind… Before, he always draped his legs over me,
but since I became pregnant, my husband has maintained this sleeping position to avoid putting pressure on my belly, so this
position has become our best sleeping position now.
When I woke up in the morning, it was already past ten. I kissed my husband, and he seemed a little excited. I urged him to go to the next room, but
he said no. I knew he was just saying it for my benefit, but I was still quite happy… Women are just a little silly like that… I don't know
why my mood inexplicably improved.
He went over, and C came over.
C was very concerned about his wife and asked me, "Do you think they're done?"
I said, "Go and see. "
He asked if I was going or not, and I said I didn't have the courage.
He went over and came back a little while later. I asked, "Are they done yet?"
He said, "It seems so."
So I got dressed, my heart pounding, but I bravely said, "I'll go check too."
My husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Q was sitting too, a certain distance between them.
They laughed when they saw me coming. I asked, "How are you?
" My husband said, "I can't take it anymore, I feel pressured."
I asked why, and he said, "I keep worrying someone will come over..."
I said, "I didn't mean to come, he said you're all done, that's why I came."
My explanation was correct, but the correct explanation actually served as a good cover for my true feelings...
I was still very selfish.
...
So, we all got up and washed up. Then the men went downstairs to buy groceries, I watched TV in the living room, and she went
online.
Later, the men cooked, and she helped out, while I went online in the inner room.
Seeing TT and "Mood" online felt like meeting family, and an unspeakable wave of grievances welled up
inside me... They comforted me, advised me, and even scolded me, but no matter what, they were doing it for my own good. That was
the best gift I received that day… “Mood” even called to comfort me and listen to my
woes…
My husband smiled tolerantly when he saw me chatting; he knew I was seeking comfort, something he couldn’t provide.
During dinner, C meticulously served his wife rice, vegetables, and drinks, even cleaning up the dishes afterwards
…
He’s a good husband, and Q is very happy.
After lunch, Q and C made love in the room, asking my husband to film them. At the time, I was extremely tolerant (now I
realize I was being dishonest; I don’t know if I can still be considered honest now, haha) and said to my husband,
“You three come on, I’ll film you.”
My husband shook his head, letting me watch them. Only then did my mood lessen somewhat.
They were very affectionate and absorbed. Later, they suggested we do it too, saying we could record it together.
So, our two families each did our own thing on one bed. We kept to ourselves…
But I felt very comfortable; I fainted on top of my husband again… I liked it this way; I love
my husband so much, and at that moment, I could only accept this kind of love.
Later, everyone felt that this went against our original intention. Yes, what kind of 4P is this? So,
we naturally switched.
I watched my husband moving vigorously on top of Q, a smile on my face. Q's moans clearly grew louder. C asked,
"Is it comfortable?" Q didn't have time to answer… I felt like a spectator in the audience… even though C was working hard.
The ground was above my body... C ejaculated. I looked at my husband, he glanced back at me, and finished quickly too.
Q lay in bed for a long time, too weak to move, C gently caressed her the whole time...
C made porridge for dinner, which we ate well.
Afterwards, Q had work to do, so she went to the inner room, while the three of us watched a DVD outside. It was "The Pianist." Although
I had heard of it a long time ago, this was the first time I had seen it, and it was indeed very good. They have a lot of good movies; C
has a hobby of collecting them.
The scene was beautiful. I sat between them, next to my husband, with a slice of watermelon C had cut in front of me. There
was no light, only the flickering light from the TV screen following the plot… We chatted happily…
C’s left hand gently caressed my buttocks, moving very lightly through my pajamas…
After “The Pianist” ended, C put on another movie. This time, my husband’s fingers probed inside me.
He looked at me in surprise; I knew he was asking why I was so wet down there. I smiled shyly
, and his fingers became restless, with a mischievous grin… I involuntarily twisted my body, leaning my upper body towards C.
C responded, and my husband made his move from behind… At that moment, I felt incredibly alluring,
because I was simultaneously and freely displaying myself in front of two men…
Because we were on the sofa, perhaps C was still thinking about his wife, so it ended there.
When Q came out, we were already sitting there properly watching TV. However, after Q came over,
she asked C in surprise, "Where are your pants?" C awkwardly pointed to the condoms on the coffee table with her foot and said, "I gave them to them."
Q didn't say anything; I could tell she was angry. I didn't say anything either, pretending not to notice. At the same time, I noticed that my husband
hadn't had time to put on his pants either…
Q went into the bedroom, and C went in after her.
I felt Q needed comforting, so my husband and I went in together.
Q was lying on the bed, and C was chatting, even video chatting with someone online. So we joined in.
Later, my husband and I were chatting while they were making love in bed.
…
Later, at a friend's request, we put on a show. But we were still just doing it with each other,
even though we were in the same bed.
Near the end, to prove to others how exciting it was (at least that's what I thought), we switched places.
Q was moaning with pleasure again, and C took her hand and asked, "Was it good, baby?" He then
kissed the back of her hand repeatedly… My husband and I looked at each other… I turned my head away… C ejaculated inside me again
.
My husband moved a few times…maybe he was afraid of condoms, anyway, it didn't work out.
Netizens said it was exciting, and I think anyone would say that. Sensory experiences often mask
many subtle details. I gave each netizen a shy smile; they only associated it with allure,
that's just how it is, no one's fault.
That night, my husband and I slept together, and we made love perfectly. I had multiple orgasms, like a winged
angel, always flying in heaven…my husband said I was crying and laughing, and my voice was very loud…but truly,
I felt incredibly released, I loved him to death…we slept very late. We
didn't get up until noon, had lunch, and Q had to go out. I shook hands with her to say goodbye, and at my
suggestion, my husband hugged her goodbye…At two o'clock, my husband and I said goodbye to C.
…Beautiful Tianjin, we left in the afternoon shade…
In the blink of an eye, we experienced one of the most challenging things in our marriage. My mind
is still filled with the unfamiliar street scenes of Tianjin, the strange yet warm home, and vivid images...
I'm already sitting in the study room again, nestled in the dim light of my computer, using memories to wake myself up.
I remember telling TT, "Seeing the scratches on my husband's back makes me very sad."
I really cared then, but now I've forgiven everything...
I remember telling C before leaving that neither of us was perfect. We should have
treated each other like new partners for those two days, but we cared too much about our own partners, which is why we were so reserved
... C said, "Actually, this is a gradual process, and it's easier for everyone to accept this way..."
...I'm always a theoretical giant, but in reality, I was the most fickle one throughout the whole process, unable to hide
my feelings and acting on impulse...
Only after leaving their house did I begin to regret not having a proper talk with Q. She's a very tolerant woman,
much more mature than me, and I like her very much. I'll always remember wearing her pajamas and sleeping in her wedding bed
... We should actually be very close friends.
4P is a very challenging game. I mustered up the courage to participate and gained love
and harmony with my husband, as well as a lingering sense of unhappiness...
Nothing can be perfect for all four people at the same time, without any flaws. So,
whether it's regret or happiness, what matters most is that it's in the past and we've experienced it.
Everyone says the first step is hard to take, but once you take it, it's over... Sometimes, looking back, you feel
a sense of being caught off guard.
Looking back at 3P, I think the woman was actually the happiest at that moment. To be honest, I
really look forward to it again because 3P doesn't make another woman cry.
Moving from one step to another, and looking back, understanding doesn't need words; everything falls into place naturally.
This is how practice and theory are repeatedly proven.
In just one month, we suddenly tried everything, and I felt extremely uneasy, like
a child who has stolen too much, filled with fear.
Therefore, we hope to have a quiet period of life, or rather, to live with a contemplative attitude.
We need to revisit our love and cherish our family and children.
...
A half-hidden moon peeked in through the window, and in this cool early morning,
I felt as if I were seeing a pair of eyes watching me, so clear and bright, and I was deeply moved...
I think my writing will also disappear for a while, because, clearly, I no longer know what to say.
I am utterly exhausted, both physically and mentally. I hope the men who have watched over me will still cherish me,
offering me a shoulder to lean on and a chest to hold my tears…
I also hope that every night, or when the world is asleep, I will see a pair of
clear eyes that belong only to me, watching only me… gazing at me from afar, offering me limited comfort.
[The End]

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I will never play the "wife-swapping game" again.

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