I made a move on my friend's girlfriend. (Part 2)

Author: fihi362
Published: 2017/2/22
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I wonder if anyone has ever had this first time: sitting next to a girl you like
, wanting to speak, but not knowing what to say first. After thinking for a long time, you finally open your mouth, but
often things don't go as planned. You stammer and can't express yourself clearly, and after you finish speaking, your back is wet with sweat.
Although Zixia and I are separated by two phone screens, our feelings are the same. How should I
say the first thing? Should I wait for her to speak first? Yes! This is a good method. It avoids my weakness of
not being good at chatting with girls.
However, I just stared blankly at the phone screen, absentmindedly browsing gossip and entertainment information, waiting for
more than half an hour, but there was no response from the other end of the phone.
The initial excitement gradually faded away with the passage of time.
I started making excuses for Zixia. Maybe she was busy with something else, maybe her phone was dead, maybe
she was on the phone with her family and couldn't pay attention, maybe she was doing laundry, maybe she went out without her phone…
Every minute, I would make up an excuse, not to deceive others, but to deceive myself.
As a single guy, when I scroll through WeChat Moments and Weibo, I love reading articles like "
Ten Things Couples in Relationships Should Know," "How to Win Their Heart During the Ambiguous Stage," and "Girls
Can Win Their Boyfriend's Heart If They Know These Things." It makes me feel like I have a girlfriend. Every
time I finish reading those relationship tips written from a girl's perspective, I get this illusion: Oh! So my girlfriend
has these little thoughts in her heart.
Doesn't it sound silly? But it makes me feel good.
I waited there patiently for over an hour, my phone battery dropping from 70% to 39%
. It would have to shut down soon.
I couldn't help but feel frustrated. Ling Rong, oh Ling Rong, how pathetic, cowardly, and useless you are! You're so
anxious and restless over a single message from someone else's girlfriend, while
she's probably in her boyfriend's arms, all lovey-dovey.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. If anyone provoked me at this moment, I would definitely explode
. I angrily pressed the power button, intending to sleep all afternoon. But fate is so dramatic
. At the last second, a QQ notification popped up in the status bar. It was her! It was from her! Just
a smiley face emoji, not a single word more. What did that mean? I didn't think about it then, because
I was completely filled with excitement and tension; all my anger and resentment had vanished.
I started to feel uneasy again. What should I say? What should I say? I thought and thought, then
rejected each suggestion. Three minutes were almost up, and I couldn't let it go unanswered. So I just sent a big smiley
face emoji.
I'd read articles on social media before that said in the early stages of a relationship, whoever replies to messages
the fastest, even instantly, has already lost. It's because they're more concerned about
and anxious about the other person's feelings. My crush hadn't messaged me for over an hour, and I was
as anxious as a cat on a hot tin roof. Now she'd sent me an emoji, and I was worried she'd be upset if I was slow. All those
relationship advice articles were a waste of time.
As soon as I sent the emoji, I regretted it. I'm not very good with words, and we don't even need to meet in person online
. Why be so nervous? What's the point of sending just an emoji?
What if she misunderstands and thinks I don't want to talk to her?
I thought about adding something, but after much deliberation, I still couldn't decide what to say, and it felt
like I was trying to cover something up.
I assumed Zixia would have finished washing clothes, charged her phone, and solved all the problems I'd imagined
, and would be playing on her phone, so she'd reply quickly. But I was wrong. I waited
almost twenty more minutes for the next message—another agonizing twenty minutes.
"#dizzy#"
The goddess's second message was still an emoji, a dizzy emoji. Was she saying she wasn't feeling well and
was dizzy? Or was she feeling 'dizzy' about my reply? I typed a sentence,
deleted it, and rewrote it, but I just couldn't get the words I wanted to say right.
Just then, the goddess sent her third message: "You're not going to send a #dizzy# message too, are you? #
scared#?"
"No."
From then on, Zixia's reply speed increased. "I showed Ahe a screenshot of our chat
, and he bet me that you'd definitely reply with another emoji later. This time, he lost."
I thought I had Zixia's attention at this moment, at least her time. It turned out that
while she was chatting with me, she was also having a lively chat with her boyfriend Ahe, treating our chat as a joke and a bet
. My heart sank into an ice cave. I felt incredibly miserable. I so wanted to turn off my phone right now and stop talking to
her, stop thinking about her, so she would know how powerful I was, so she would know I could get angry.
But I couldn't.
Forced a smile, I typed a few words, "So what are you betting on? #Laughing#"
A moment later, the other end replied, "Dinner tonight."
"Oh, he's in trouble then, he's going to get ripped off."
"Yeah #Cute#, I was just discussing with him where to eat tonight, planning to go out
and then see a movie."
This wasn't punishment for Ahe, it was torture for me. Having dinner together and then seeing a movie together
—this was a scene I'd fantasized about countless times with Zixia.
My hands and feet felt weak, and I couldn't type anything, so I just sent her a happy emoji.
I wonder if anyone else has had this experience: when someone doesn't want to chat with you, no matter how enthusiastically you talk
, they'll only reply with an emoji, without a single word. That's the message they
don't want to talk anymore.
My expression at that moment was like a period at the end of a sentence. More than ten minutes passed, and Zixia still
hadn't replied with a single word. She was probably discussing dinner and a movie with Ahe.
I casually tossed my phone aside, lay on my dorm bed, and stared blankly at the ceiling. I tried to close
my eyes, but I just couldn't fall asleep.
That day, my roommates were all there, which was unusual. It was almost dinnertime, and they invited me
to eat with them, but I wasn't in the mood. Besides, we could never find common ground in our conversations. They
liked to brag, talk about girls, and talk about picking up girls. Occasionally, they'd talk about games, but that was also just bragging. In their eyes,
a fat person who was so overweight must be clumsy and stupid, and definitely bad at games too, unable to do anything
right. So even if I had different opinions about the games we discussed, they would just scoff.
No, this was a common perception of fat people, not just theirs.
That's how it was. During meals and chats, I was the isolated, invisible person, sitting there like
a pet, waiting for them to finish eating before following them. What's the difference between that and being a dog? I
didn't want to be their lackey, so I started to dislike eating with them.
"I'm not hungry yet, you guys go eat."
They didn't even ask, didn't call out a second time, just chatted and laughed as they left the dorm. I think it
was the best relief for both them and for me.
I don't know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, the entire dorm was dark, with
only a sliver of light from the opposite teaching building. It was completely dark.
I picked up my phone to turn on the flashlight, but found it was dead. I groped my way out of bed, stumbled
to the door, and turned on the light. The sudden brightness hurt my eyes. The room was full of
their trash, dirty clothes, and buckets piled up in the middle of the hallway, making it very inconvenient to walk.
When the teachers came to check the dorms, I would be left with all that work.
I turned on my computer and checked the time; it was almost 9 PM, meaning I'd slept for four or five hours.
A wave of hunger washed over me. The cafeteria was definitely out of food. Back then, there were no food delivery apps, so I had to get dressed
and go outside to see what was available.
Every school has countless snack shops and restaurants around it. When I first started school, I thought the cafeteria
food was pretty good, so why did everyone prefer eating out? Later, I realized that most of the people eating out were
male and female students. It wouldn't be appropriate to have a girl in the school cafeteria; it would seem a bit low-class.
So, someone like me, oblivious to the situation and even thinking that restaurants outside were too expensive, was destined to become a shut-in
.
I'm a native of Sichuan, but I don't like spicy food, which is strange, isn't it? And because of my accent
, sometimes people laugh at my pronunciation.
After looking around, this was the only relatively clean and tidy restaurant. Judging from the decor and storefront, it probably wasn't cheap
, but I just really wanted to spend money today. Normally, I wouldn't be so savvy. People say that when someone is in a bad mood,
they like to shop, and there might be some truth to that.
After ordering, I was about to find a seat when I turned around and saw two people from my class, a boy and
a girl. The boy was dressed very extravagantly, with dyed gray-white hair, pierced ears with earrings, clothes
painted with exaggerated skulls, and shoes covered in shiny studs. Combined with his sleazy
eyes, no one could be more suited to playing a gangster.
The girl's attire was more restrained, but only 'more'. Her heavy makeup, her large,
bewitching eyes drawn with eyeliner, and her deathly pale complexion—comparable to a zombie in a horror movie—clearly showed she wasn't a
well-behaved student.
Her clothes were rather extravagant, revealing her shoulders, sexy collarbones, and loose neckline, making one want to peek
inside. She wore ripped jeans and black Converse sneakers. If it weren't for her
overly Korean-style makeup, she would definitely look like a rock girl.
The guy was named Xu Honglei, and the girl was named Song Xuanxuan; they were both my classmates. I
didn't like Xu Honglei at all. Although I hadn't interacted with him much, I disliked him immediately
, even felt a bit disgusted, because he reminded me of the
thugs who extorted money from me outside the school gate in junior high—an experience I desperately wanted to forget.
They were clearly a couple. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder about this world. If handsome, academically
gifted, and wealthy men could find girlfriends, that was understandable. But why would a guy like Xu Honglei, who was more than just
a bad student—a complete social outcast—have girls throwing themselves at him, especially good-looking ones
? Did rock musicians always have to find punks?
I started to regret entering this restaurant. At this hour, besides me, they were the only other people there, though
they were sitting in a corner I hadn't noticed when I came in. If I sat down to eat,
either of them would have spotted me, and my single status would have been used to make fun of me again
.
Things unfolded faster than I expected. Before I even sat down, they called out, "
Hey! Ling Rong!"
It was Xu Honglei. Helpless, I had to feign surprise, looking around before turning back to them with
an incredulous expression—'What a coincidence, you're here too.
' I knew my actions were incredibly idiotic and my acting awful;
I could tell from the smiles on their faces.
"What are you doing here?"
Xu Honglei asked arrogantly, as if he were the owner and I was his employee, supposed to
stay in the kitchen and not wander around.
I answered him naively, "Eating, of course."
This simple and sincere reply made them both laugh again. I cursed inwardly; I
rarely get angry with girls, so I placed all the blame on Xu Honglei.
"Okay, you eat first, eat more, okay?"
Xu Honglei dismissed me with just that one question. Those last few words seemed deliberately
prepared to mock me. I stupidly walked from the left table to the right to answer such a idiotic
question, only to be dismissed again. As I turned to go back, I knew without a doubt he was
laughing at me; I heard the laughter. I
was indignant. When I got back, I was going to teach his girlfriend a lesson. Yes, you
heard me right, I was going to teach Xu Honglei's girlfriend, Song Xuanxuan, a lesson.
As some might have guessed, when someone is lonely, they need sex to relieve boredom.
Someone like me definitely masturbates, and Song Xuanxuan is my sexual fantasy.
Why not Zixia? Because I simply couldn't bring myself to hurt her. A
girl who smiles at you on the first day of school—you simply can't bear to hurt her. But Song Xuanxuan fit all my fantasies about a wanton woman
: a delicate face, revealing clothes, a seemingly very open personality, and a rebellious
temper that needs a man to tame her. All of these combined made her a prostitute and a slut who needed to be thoroughly fucked
.
I ate that meal very quickly, of course. When I paid and left, Xu Honglei and the others were still there. Out of
politeness, I smiled and said goodbye to them before leaving. Xu Honglei just nodded to indicate he heard me
, nothing more. Song Xuanxuan didn't even glance at me.
On the way back, I saw groups of couples chatting and laughing. I felt extremely dejected. I had
thought about finding a girlfriend, but after being rejected several times when I tried to talk to girls, chat with them, or even invite
them out for meals or entertainment, I couldn't muster any more enthusiasm.
The library is my favorite place besides my dorm bed. It's quiet, not
as noisy as outside. Many people are studying or reading there—couples, singles, but mostly people are quietly
reading alone. It feels like I've found companions there; it's a sanctuary for my soul.
Tonight, I simply can't concentrate on any of the words in the library because there's an
extremely beautiful girl sitting opposite me. I can say without exaggeration that she's incredibly beautiful, with
skin as smooth as snow and jade. Her bangs just cover her forehead, and her hair is tied in a simple ponytail, without
any other extra decorations—everything about her looks so simple and natural.
Her long eyelashes were natural. She would blink frequently after reading just a few lines. When she saw something beautiful,
shallow dimples appeared on her cheeks. Because she couldn't be loud, she had to try her best to suppress her laughter
, and the way she covered her mouth and her shoulders trembled was incredibly cute. She was only wearing a plain white t-shirt, which
matched her skin tone perfectly. Anyone who saw her would probably think she was a middle school student. I was sitting
opposite such a girl.
Strangely enough, although there were quite a few students in the reading room, they all preferred to squeeze four or six people together at one
table to read, while there were empty seats on both sides of me, but no one came over. Even
the few new people who came in would find other empty seats to sit in. It was as if there was an invisible glass dome
separating us from the outside world; it was just the two of us.
At that moment, everything about Zixia, Song Xuanxuan, and Xu Honglei—everything I liked and disliked—no longer mattered.
Just sitting quietly across from her, watching her, was enough to make me forget all my unpleasantness and unease. I think
I was in love, just a moment ago.
To avoid being discovered by her lewd act of spying, I would flip through a few pages of my book,
pretending to stretch my neck and look up quickly at her. If I found her engrossed in her reading, I
would boldly glance a few more times. A third glance was too much, because she had already turned to a new page, and any shift in my gaze
would likely be noticed.
I held the literary magazine, afraid to flip through it too quickly. I didn't want to leave my seat to get a new book
; what if someone took my seat while I was gone? I managed to read that not-so-thin digest for a full
hour, until the reading room was about to close. Everyone quietly got up, put their chairs back, and left,
but she remained seated, seemingly unwilling to leave. It was almost just the two of us left. She was still flipping through
the thick volume of world history, while I anxiously didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave, but staying any longer would inevitably
arouse suspicion.
"Idiot, get out
of here!" A tall boy suddenly appeared beside me, seemingly out of nowhere. From my
angle, he was incredibly handsome. The girl opposite me heard his voice, pouted
cutely, and ran to put the book back. The boy helped her put her chair back as well. The girl
ran back, hooked her arm around the boy's, and they walked away from my sight, chatting and laughing.
I've never felt more miserable than at that moment. Yes, how stupid could I have been to think that such a beautiful
girl wouldn't have a boyfriend and was single like me? Perhaps she was too shy to speak up because of the crowd
, and deliberately stayed to get to know me. What a ridiculous fantasy, utterly laughable.
"Aren't you leaving? It's closing soon. Come back tomorrow,"
the librarian lady said, looking at me. "I'm leaving now."
As soon as I stepped outside, the wind was so strong, chilling me to the bone.

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