【Loneliness Series: Doll Lili】Author: Xiaoqiu

Author: Xiaoqiu
Word Count: 5000
Published on 2013/11/15 in Chunman Siheyuan
That day, I decided to run away, abandoning this city where "he" was.
I changed my phone number, address, and all related contact information. Then, I came to a
place without "he." I wanted to completely erase "he" from my life, to let the tangled memories be uprooted, and
for the lingering guilt to turn into seeds, quietly sinking into the heart of my soul.
This was a different kind of wandering, an involuntary romance, and an unplanned betrayal.
If you ask me if I still like him?
Of course! Without a doubt.
But I had to leave him...
because I discovered that it was my true longing, and I had mistaken "he" for its substitute. Every time I look
at it, I feel my past feelings for "him" transform into black droplets, watering the parched
soil of my soul, gradually spreading downwards, giving a seed called "guilt" a little life, hoping that one day 　　it 　　can 　　sprout, break through the soil, and give me the cruelest
revenge.
It has no expression, yet it has features.
It cannot move, yet it has limbs.
It has no soul, yet it has a body. 　　It
is a doll 　　. 　　I have fallen in love 　　with the doll! ********** ... Its intense 　　gaze, so intense it easily pierced my clothes, staring directly at my naked body, conveying a burning, lewd intent that 　　left me bewildered. 　　I sighed softly and turned to face it. 　　The bedside table was its exclusive domain. 　　In that instant, I looked down at it, and it looked up at me, our eyes forming a two-way bridge. From its empty 　　pupils, a beam of transparent light seemed to shoot, projecting its most direct emotions into my eyes, and onto its expressionless lips, 　　as if a cruel smile were emerging. 　　I stood silently, and it sat down silently, seemingly waiting for who would submit first. 　　Drip! 　　It felt as if a drop of water had fallen into the field of my soul, bringing a touch of moisture to the parched soil. "What are you going to do now?" I asked it irritably, a hint of annoyance in my voice 　　. 　　There was no reply, but I understood its demands. 　　"Work... I have no choice... Don't you understand?" I pleaded, my voice pitiful. 　　"Please don't... I beg you..." 　　The doll remained silent. 　　Resistance still lingered in my mind, but my body was no longer under my control, and I walked to it. I lowered 　　my proud head, knelt on the floor, and shamefully displayed my humility. 　　Then, I opened the drawer beneath the throne and took out my identification— 　　a black leather collar with diamond-studded silver rivets. 　　The name "Linu" was engraved on it, the name it had given me, a mark of submission. 　　A black iron chain jingled from the collar. I slowly fastened the collar around my neck, 　　securing it tightly, and placed the chain in its hand. 　　It was the master, I was the slave. 　　It was the doll, I was the toy. 　　Then, I knelt before it, pleading with the utmost sincerity, 　　"Master, please punish Linu properly!" 　　In the blink of an eye, crimson ropes wrapped around my naked body, binding me mercilessly, leaving purplish-red marks on my skin 　　. I bound them very tightly, a punishment for the slight resistance I had shown before it. The red ropes gnawed at my breasts 　　, unrestrained by human kindness, inflicting an indescribable tingling and pain—a fetter of compromise and submission. 　　With a snap, my hands were bound in front of my breasts with leather handcuffs. My ponytail was released, letting my disheveled, jet 　　-black hair fall to the floor. My removed underwear dangled from my ankles, bearing traces of pale yellow urine 　　, and I could almost smell its faint stench. 　　I looked up as the iron chain around my neck slowly extended into its hand, my gaze meeting itss. 　　The sticky, pungent smell unconsciously filled the room. The scent, like an aphrodisiac, 　　seeped into my skin, making my body sensitive and gradually warming. 　　"Master, is this... alright?" I asked cautiously, afraid of offending it again. 　　It remained expressionless. 　　"You... you want me to be even more lewd?" I said fearfully, my voice filled with pleading. 　　It was still not satisfied. 　　"How about this?" I reclined and sat sideways, languidly and seductively, slowly spreading my legs apart, 　　revealing my tender honey hole to it, half-hidden. 　　Its serious expression seemed to soften. 　　"No... not enough?" 　　I turned around, blushing and prostrating myself on the ground, bending my knees and raising my buttocks to display my proud back curves, then 　　wriggling unwillingly like a dog, waving my two mounds of flesh in front of it in a humble and humiliating posture. 　　I deliberately raised my buttocks to expose my private parts more, respectfully meeting 　　its gaze with a pure and clean appearance. 　　That's right! 　　With the panties removed, the pubic hair was completely shaved off, not a single tuft left. 　　The smooth lower abdomen, like a newborn baby, revealed a full, beautiful curve; the pink cleft was brazenly 　　displayed, symbolizing my lowliness before it, echoing its flawless body. It believed that only by doing so 　　could it avoid desecrating its master before me. 　　"...Like this...?" I asked again. 　　Sensing its slightly satisfied gaze, and its subsequent instructions, 　　I obediently crawled over and took out the tools for my discipline from the drawer, objects imbued with the meaning of "abuse."

With my hands, which had a limited range of motion, I picked up a large, black dildo. It was enormous,
with clearly defined, menacing lines, exuding a menacing aura.
It was an item I had ordered online a while ago.
From the moment it saw the picture on the website, it silently commanded me to buy it, brooking no resistance. Therefore, I
reluctantly paid for this instrument of humiliation.
Little did I know, this was the beginning of a nightmare.
The results of using it greatly satisfied it. The lifelike, large dildo viciously penetrated my small
body. It relished the expression on my face as I was brutally manipulated and tormented by this dildo. It not
only brutally tore open my vagina, widening my still tight passage, but also penetrated my uterus.
Not to mention, the dildo had rotating, twisting, and variable-speed thrusting functions, including seven levels of intensity
.
Especially the highest output combined with the thrusting motion, always brought me to multiple orgasms, leaving me utterly weak. The masochistic emotions of pain and pleasure
intertwined endlessly, traversing between heaven and hell, indistinguishable.
The next day, I woke up with a burning, intense pain in my entire genital area, unable even to get out of bed to work.
The agonizing, desolate scene was still vivid in my mind.
"Master…can you…stop?" I pleaded one last time. Although I knew it was all in vain
.
It remained silent.
"Ugh…" My right hand gripped the dildo tightly, trembling unnaturally, slowly approaching. Until it touched my
vulva, a chilling sensation shot through my brain, as if I could smell the rubber, causing me to break out in a cold sweat.
But my right hand pushed forcefully, allowing the dildo to slowly penetrate my genitals,
tearing open the tightly closed opening without any preparation, and ruthlessly thrusting in.
A piercing scream escaped my lips uncontrollably:
"Ah!"
The pain was truly unbearable, almost unbearable.
But… I couldn’t stop, because my master was watching me, enjoying my miserable state, making me
afraid to resist.
Turning left and right, the head of the dildo had entered my opening, its clear engraved lines scraping against
the walls of my vagina, sending waves of sensation back to my nerves, allowing me to fully “taste” again the pain of being defiled, and
the feeling of being raped.
The switch was activated, and the dildo began to writhe inside me.
“Eee…uh…ooh…oh…hiss…ahhh!”
Not only that, the head was just the appetizer; the thick, long shaft then slid into my mons pubis, like
the calm before a storm, savoring the remaining gentleness, preparing to accept merciless treatment.
I felt a deep resentment, wondering why I couldn’t control my love for it, willing to debase myself in this way
, submitting in humiliation, raping myself under its gaze.
Indescribably… I felt an unusual excitement.
The dildo was halfway in, the layers of tender flesh being turned inside out. I grew increasingly anxious, yet also eagerly anticipating its
treatment.
The painful discomfort was gradually diluted by the sadistic thoughts surging within my brain, merging, converging, and accumulating into an unknown
lust that surged violently. The masochistic instincts hidden deep within my soul were awakened before it, filling me with immense
joy.
"Ha...haa..."
I slowly opened my mouth, as if my small mouth were an opening, both stretched wide in welcome.
The black dildo seemed like a tireless sex machine, nimbly writhing within my cavity,
then reaching my deepest point, transforming into a violent thrusting assault.
"Eek!"
I couldn't believe that such a powerful moan of lust would escape my lips.
A warm current shot out from deep within my lower abdomen. Hot, moist, thick love fluid instantly dispelled the layers of
flesh, completely enveloping the dildo, binding it tightly.
My body trembled violently, a surge of pleasure spreading to every corner of my body.
The unparalleled brutality seemed to be testing the limits and willpower of my tender orifice.
I knew my master was determined to punish me, making me experience the torment of this dildo again,
without any foreplay.
Soon, I was limp and powerless, my eyes rolled back, and my body convulsed uncontrollably.
The suffering continued. I was shocked to find the dildo's speed suddenly increasing. My filled vagina felt like it was being raped
, each thrust hitting my clitoris hard, painful and numb, numb with a sour taste, then bitter, then painful again, repeating
the cycle, experiencing this desperate stimulation.
"Ahhh... ooh! Oh... ee-ah! Ughhh!"
My cries of agony were endless, but my master's gaze was not satisfied.
It wanted to see... to see my even more miserable expression.
My waist bent even lower, and my buttocks were raised even higher. My right hand gripped the vibrator, and following my master's commands,
I held the handle tightly at the end, relentlessly thrusting the dildo into my tender hole.
Meanwhile, my left hand reluctantly moved closer to my anus, pressing the pad of my middle finger against
the small brown hole above my vulva, slowly inserting it.
"Ugh!"
A completely different pleasure, yet strangely similar to the lewd pain emanating from my vagina.
As the tip of my middle finger probed, I felt as if I had touched something dirty and hard. Instinctively,
I curled my finger and began digging violently.
My master finally showed a slightly satisfied expression, just as my two orifices emitted incredibly obscene "squeak, squeak"
sounds. My vagina hurt from the torment of the dildo and the forceful insertion of my right hand; my anus also hurt from 　　the desperate digging of
my left middle finger. 　　But beneath this double pain lay a pleasurable comfort, growing ever 　　more pronounced with my sobs and groans. 　　I unconsciously squinted, involuntarily savoring the pleasure this sadomasochistic act brought. At the same time, I noticed 　　that the two nipples on my breasts had turned into dark red grapes, tender and delicious. 　　This was a wonderful sensation that he could never give me before; only my "master" could.

Its gaze gradually softened, soothing the pain emanating from my body and sublimating it into waves of pleasure, one after
another, endlessly.
I couldn't take it anymore, I was about to climax…
I was consumed by thoughts of unrestrained lust, both physically and mentally.
Loud moans echoed through the room, oblivious to my hoarse voice, the pain completely gone.
Only the pleasure of the rapidly spinning dildo rubbing against my vagina and the fingers thrusting into my anus remained, all flooding my
nerves.
This shameful act of self-rape had somehow transformed into a feeling of stimulation and excitement;
the flames of desire surged relentlessly, like a guiding lighthouse, emitting indicative light, pointing towards the approaching climax.
Naturally, that overwhelming, ecstatic pleasure was about to descend.
An impatient thirst drove me to recklessly abandon everything.
My right hand pushed the switch to the strongest position and forcefully inserted the dildo into my mons pubis, letting the buzzing
motor churn and ravage the tender flesh deep inside, as if trying to penetrate to my uterus.
The tingling, electric-like pleasure made my left hand thrust faster and harder into my own defiled anus
, not caring if it were torn apart.
Then, the ultimate climax was about to arrive...
I surrendered myself to instinct, holding nothing back. I slightly raised my head, looking at its cold, silent face
, as if it were saying to me:
"You wanton licentious lisu, you can climax now!"
The silent humiliation stirred up the last vestige of my shame. But the unparalleled excitement and pleasure deep within my soul
had completely conquered me.
My heart pounded uncontrollably, my thoughts shattered and scattered, and the spasms of orgasm
spread rapidly from the inside out!
"Ahaha... I'm here... Mmm... Oh my god! I've climaxed... I've climaxed!"
Broken moans escaped my lips as I savored the exquisite afterglow of my orgasm.
So beautiful!
So exhilarating!
Only before it could I experience this supreme peak of pleasure!
Then, I collapsed to the ground, trembling like a dead fish, my mind blank, the satisfied pleasure coursing through me,
gradually subsiding.
Looking up at my master on the throne, I stammered with gratitude,
"Thank... thank you... for your... training, Master..."
**********************************************
It had no expression, yet it had features.
It couldn't move, yet it had limbs.
It had no soul, yet it had a body.
It was a doll.
I fell in love with the doll!
I never regretted this decision!

Postscript:
A while ago, I asked a friend about her relationship with the doll.
She said: Like a friend, over time, a rich emotional bond has accumulated.
I asked again: "Can you come to like dolls?"
She said: "They're like family; the longer you spend time with them, the more attached you become.
" I pressed further: "Have you ever thought about being enslaved by a doll?"
She replied: "I don't know, but it seems quite interesting."
So, I spent several hours writing this erotic and sadistic piece, imbued with a strong fetish.
Rather than a pornographic novel, it's more like erotic literature, subverting my previous writing style and transforming it into
a story with greater depth and meaning.
If you feel good after reading it, it means you've grasped the eroticism I'm trying to express.
If you feel lonely after reading it, it signifies that you've entered my world and experienced my emotions.
Xiaoqiu, November 13, 2013, rainy night .

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【Loneliness Series: Doll Lili】Author: Xiaoqiu

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