Where dreams begin

The Place Where Dreams Begin

Author: Unknown
Word Count: 10,000

Five years have passed in the blink
of an eye. The tide of time has washed everything away. What I gained, I lost; what I lost, I forgot. Only one thing remains etched in my memory, and even thinking about it brings a slight pain to my heart: my
first love, a girl who made me lose my virginity.

Rewinding to five years ago, in the summer of 2003, I had just graduated from university. Clutching my diploma and
endless dreams, I plunged into this materialistic world, running around every day trying to realize my so-called life's value
. The result of all that running around was only one—setbacks. Fortunately, I was still young. Where I fell, I got back up
, still cheerful every day, going out for drinks and chatting online. Online, I met a
girl I felt a special connection with, the protagonist of this story—Bo.

I remember back then QQ was all the rage in China, but I always used NetEase's Bubble Chat. One day,
I met a netizen named "How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams." During our chat, we were so in sync, like we were one person.
Our ideals , hobbies, goals, and even our lifestyle preferences were surprisingly similar. I even joked that we must be
long-lost siblings. In short, that feeling was even happier than meeting a long-lost relative. Of course, you
can all guess what happened next: we met in person. We chose to meet at a KFC in Harbin. She looked a lot like Maggie Cheung,
especially her eyes. She was 1.7 meters tall, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say she had a model's figure. I
felt a flutter in my heart the moment I saw her, but I didn't show it. Through our chat, I learned that she was a music teacher at a school, and
also a part-time dance teacher. She had specialized in folk dance and could imitate Yang Liping's dances perfectly.
We and made plans to fly kites together by the river on Sunday.

Sunday arrived in the blink of an eye, and we actually went to fly kites by the Songhua River.
When we came back, I said to her, "Can I hold your hand?" She didn't say anything, but
when , I saw happiness on her face. Half a month later, we had become inseparable
best friends. I said, "Be my wife, for life." She said, "Okay, but you have to
pluck ." I said, "Okay." Carefree days passed quickly; before we knew each other for several months.
We spent all our time together, and gradually, we established a romantic relationship. She went from being my friend to
my girlfriend. We held hands and kissed, but never crossed any lines—I hadn't even touched her breasts.

One day, I went home early from work and saw she was online. I suddenly wanted to tease her, so
I chatted with her using a fake name. As we chatted, the topic of sex came up, and I casually asked, "Are you
a virgin?" A reply came quickly: "No!" Those two simple words sent a jolt through me,
because at the time I had a virginity complex. I quickly called her and confessed that
I was the one she'd been chatting with. She was furious and scolded me for using a different account. After a while,
her anger subsided, and our conversation calmed down. She suddenly asked if I still loved her. I said, "Yes, I
love you now, I'll love you in the future, I'll always love you, but deep down I'm still hurting." I don't know
where got the courage, but I suddenly said to her, "I want to have sex with you too, otherwise I'll feel even worse." Her answer was
very direct: "Okay, as long as my period doesn't come." (My period is my menstrual period.) Perhaps she felt I couldn't
accept and wanted to comfort me, making me feel that she valued me highly and
was willing to do anything for me. Later, it turned out we had reached an understanding again.

The next day she called and said she wanted to come over. I had a feeling something was going to happen
that day . Soon she arrived, and we read books together, went online together, and
played cards. But honestly, I was already distracted; my mind was completely focused on what she had promised me—that
is, sex. While playing cards, I said, "Let's make a bet. Whoever loses has to take off their clothes." She looked at me,
smiled, and said, "You little pervert." After a few rounds, she lost, but she didn't take off her clothes. Instead, she said, "I'll dance for you
." After she finished speaking, she danced Yang Liping's "Moonlight" for me. I
felt like I was in the Moon Palace; she was truly perfect. After the dance, I wiped her sweat and said, "You don't have to take off your clothes, but can I at least touch
them She refused, but I persisted. Finally, she gave in and said, "Okay, you can touch them."

To this day, I can't forget the feeling of touching her breasts for the first time. It was the first time I had ever touched a woman's breasts (
of course, touching my mother's
breasts as a child doesn't count). I've only ever experienced that feeling once in my life. I'll never find that feeling again when touching my wife's or my lover's breasts.

My hand slipped inside her clothes from her collar, finding the soft peaks of her breasts on her slightly warm skin . So soft!
It felt so good, so comfortable. I gently caressed them, following the soft peaks, and soon found her
small nipples. I gently pinched, stroked, and rubbed them. Soon, these cute little yellow beans hardened,
and with my caresses, I heard her let out a soft "Ah!" I still remember my physical reaction;
my penis swelled up as if it were about to explode, and lots and lots of slippery fluid gushed out. She closed her eyes,
obediently letting me caress her breasts. After a while, I said, "Take off your coat, it's too inconvenient for me
to touch you." She smiled and said, "Didn't you say you'd only touch me once?" I retorted, "No, you said it." She said
, "I said it. Okay, then don't touch me." I was already burning with lust, so I didn't care who said it. I took off her top with a bit of
force , then slowly took off her blouse. Soon, her upper body
was bare except for her bra. I never imagined there were such round breasts in the world, not too big, not too small, firm
like Venus's breasts. I can't say whether she's prettier than Maggie Cheung, but I'm sure Maggie Cheung's
breasts aren't as beautiful as hers, even though I've never touched them. With her clothes off, her bra couldn't be far behind. Soon, I
saw her breasts in person. They were absolutely perfect—firm, slightly upturned, especially
the areolas and nipples. They were truly flawless. Everyone says a young girl's areolas are pink, which I've never seen before, but hers
were definitely more beautiful than a young girl's, a delicate pink tinged with red, as tender as a blooming pink
tulip . Two small nipples set against the pink areolas looked like two sparkling agates. (Ignoring the color...)
I bet if she were a breast model, she'd be in the top three in all of China. Looking at those two little agates,
I couldn't help but suck on them, caressing and licking them, gently licking them with my tongue and biting them lightly with my teeth.
The two nipples seemed to be filled with magic, growing larger and larger. My licking became more and more rapid, and her
breathing was equally rapid, soon turning into moans. After about five minutes, I softly said to her, "Darling, I
want to make love," and then I lifted her skirt. Soon, she was only wearing her underwear—a
pale blue pair. I was incredibly aroused at that moment, because just one day ago,
I didn't even know what a girl's breasts looked like, and the next day I was lying in
bed , and that underwear would soon disappear. While touching her breasts, I looked down at her genitals. Even
through the underwear, I could vaguely see the shape of her vulva. Her underwear covered her vulva very tightly,
revealing all its shape. Her full mons pubis, adorned with pubic hair, appeared a dark
hue through her panties. Her labia majora were plump, somewhat like steamed buns. (That's how I felt at the time.) Through her panties,
I could vaguely see a narrow crevice; I knew that was the source of life. I impulsively tried to take off her panties,
but she refused. After all, girls are usually quite shy. I tried desperately to pull them off, and she pulled desperately
. The poor little panties were about to tear, but she still wouldn't let go. I simply slipped my hand inside her panties. She
was caught off guard and didn't resist. My first impression was how soft her pubic hair was. Maybe it's because of the
difference between men and women, but it was definitely much softer than mine. My fingers traced a long, wet, and warm crevice. I
gently stroked it, running my fingers along the crevice from top to bottom and back again. She was so wet; slippery
fluid kept gushing from her vagina. But I was so inexperienced then that I couldn't even
pinpoint . I just felt the crevice getting wetter and wetter as I touched it. Soon, my entire hand was soaking wet. I looked at her
face; her eyes were slightly closed, her teeth gently biting her lip. She looked incredibly alluring. I kissed her and said, "Darling
, take it off." She blushed and said, "No need for you to take it off, I'll do it myself." Saying this, she sat up and slowly removed
the last barrier blocking our entrance. Her blooming flower was displayed before me without any obstruction.

Fine pubic hair, beneath which was a dazzling clitoris. Her two symmetrical labia minora were shyly closed,
glistening with clear vaginal fluid. I observed her closely, looking closely, gently inhaling the scent. She
knew this was the first time I'd seen a woman's vagina so closely, and quietly let me look, obediently letting me smell,
her legs spread wide, silently cooperating with me. After watching for a while, I
rubbed , and soon I heard her moan. I knelt down in front of her vagina, parting her
labia minora with both hands. The inside was very tender, a pinkish color, unlike the reddish color in adult films—perhaps it varies from person to person
. I smelled it; there was no odor. I've never encountered such a clean vagina since. It made me
want to lick it. I said, "Let me lick it." She said, "No, it's too dirty. Come here, let me hug you." I
obediently lay on top of her. She said, "Little glutton, are you satisfied today?" Satisfied? How could I? The most important thing
isn't done yet. I said, "Let's make love." She said, "Let's rest for a while. Aren't you tired?" Don't say I'm tired; even if I
were exhausted, I wouldn't stop. Going with the flow, I pressed myself on top of her. My penis hovered near her vagina
, but couldn't find the entrance. After searching and searching, it went soft. I was sweating bullets; I felt like dying
.

She noticed my penis was soft and comforted me, saying, "It's okay, baby. All men are like this the first time." But despite her
words, I was almost frantic. Seeing how anxious I was and how I couldn't get hard, she said, "Sit up and close your
eyes ." I obediently did so. A few seconds later, I felt something warm envelop my penis
. I looked down and saw her cherry-like mouth. She gently licked my glans with her tongue, rolled up the foreskin and licked the lower half of
the glans , then took the entire glans into her mouth and sucked like a baby nursing. Gradually, my penis
became erect again.

I was already burning with desire, and her oral sex made me feel like I was going to explode. So I pinned her down,
but unfortunately, I still couldn't find the vaginal opening. But this time I changed my strategy.
Instead of waiting for my penis to soften, I decided to look for the vaginal opening and insert it. I used my fingers to probe for the vaginal opening, gently pressing in, from top
to bottom. Finally, I found this treasure hole near the anus. I put my fingers in, and it was hot
and slippery inside. I made piston-like movements back and forth, and soon she couldn't take it anymore. She whispered to me, "Darling, I
want it ."

Before my penis went soft, I stood on the floor and laid her horizontally on the edge of the bed. This way, I could easily find the opening.
Sure enough, it went in very easily. When the head of my penis just touched the entrance of her vagina, the feeling was
truly amazing, soothing and invigorating. It felt like my penis was melting. As I slowly pushed it in further, I felt
my penis being tightly enveloped by her vagina. It felt so good. After a few thrusts, I felt like I couldn't hold back anymore. I felt like I was about to
ejaculate . Because I wasn't wearing a condom, I tried to take it out, but I really couldn't.
The feeling of my penis rubbing against the vaginal walls was so pleasurable. The perfect fusion of the two of us felt so wonderful, especially the feeling of my penis. It was warm
, and her vagina was tightly wrapped around my penis. It was perfect! After a few more thrusts
, I suddenly felt like I was being electrocuted. One, two, three—I ejaculated more than a dozen times. I've
never ejaculated so much semen before, now, and probably never will. She gently cooperated, holding me and touching my back. I never knew there were such wonderful things
in the world . I was completely melted. Our first time
was completed in this half-hearted manner. Afterwards, she said, "You ejaculated inside, weren't you afraid I'd get pregnant?" I said,
"No , if I do, we'll have the baby. We'll have a son as handsome as me, and a daughter as beautiful as you." At that moment
, I truly felt like the happiest person in the world. I wiped away the semen for her, then parted her labia minora
to take . I found her vagina open like a small hole, still filled with semen. I remember saying,
"Darling, will the little life we create also come out from this little hole?" She laughed and said, "
Where else can it come out if not from here?" Looking back, things have changed so much. I wonder if she
still remembers what I said back then. But between us, there will never be a little life of our own.

Once a man and woman have sex, everything becomes less mysterious. It was the same with us. We
could be naked at home online without restraint, and we could discuss issues related to men and women together. She told me
that although she wasn't a virgin, she had only had a few sexual experiences with her high school classmates. She was too young then and didn't know how
to protect herself, and the result was irreversible. She told me what happened. Although I felt uncomfortable listening to her, it was all in the past,
and I couldn't dwell on it or regret anything. It turned out that her parents and her ex-boyfriend
's parents were old friends, practically family. After graduating from high school, she went to Beijing to study dance, while her ex-boyfriend
studied at a university in Beijing. They were both from Harbin, and since their parents were old friends and they were classmates, they
kept in frequent contact. The boy had a large house in Beijing that was usually unoccupied, so they often went over to visit.
Back then, they were just kids and didn't think much of it—neither she nor he did. The turning point came the following year.
The boy's aunt visited him in Beijing, and she went to see her. Since she and the boy were practically
best friends there, the aunt, seeing how pretty she was, teased them, saying, "You two are such a good match, why don't you just become
friends?" The three of them laughed, but no one said anything more, and the matter was dropped.
However, in their subsequent interactions, they both felt something unsettling. Then one day, they went
for a walk in a park near his big house. On the way back, he kissed her and said he loved her. She
felt strange at the time. She said she had feelings for him, but definitely not love, but she didn't
refuse , and that's how they became a couple. Although they were a couple, she was initially
averse to sex, for the simple reason that she was afraid. The boy, however, was different. He constantly pursued her, wanting to have sex,
but he never succeeded. One day, she, her boyfriend, and a few friends were having a gathering at the guy's big house. It was raining heavily
outside . After dinner, her friends left, and she was about to leave too. The guy said, "Let's wait for the rain to stop.
" She thought so too; it would be uncomfortable to go out in such heavy rain. But it was past 10 p.m., and the rain showed no
signs of letting up. So the guy said, "Why don't you sleep here? We can each have our own room." She didn't really refuse at the time. First,
they were boyfriend and girlfriend, and second, nothing would happen if they each had their own room, so she agreed. They had both been drinking that day
. After locking the door, she fell asleep shortly after. In her half-asleep state, she felt someone touching her breasts.
At first, she didn't react, but when she woke up, she realized that her ex-boyfriend had somehow gotten into her bed
. She screamed in fright. When the guy saw that she was awake,
he said, "Anyway, we're friends now. We'll end up having sex sooner or later. The sooner the better." She refused, and her ex-boyfriend tried to tear her clothes.
In anger, she slapped him. He stopped moving and soon started crying, saying he
wasn't that kind of person, but just loved her too much. Seeing him cry, she panicked and didn't know how to comfort him. She tried
to soothe him for a long time but couldn't. So she said, "It's fine if our first time happened on our wedding night. I'll be yours sooner or later
. Why the rush?" So they lay down and fell asleep quickly. In the middle of the night, her
ex-boyfriend's hands started to wander again. She slapped him, thinking it was a bit hard, but didn't resist too much, letting him
touch her breasts. However, her ex-boyfriend went further, wanting to have sex. She inexplicably agreed
, saying it was probably because she felt so lonely in Beijing. So, on
that stormy night, they had sex. She was still a virgin then, and her boyfriend couldn't penetrate her. She
said it hurt a lot, her vagina felt like it was being slashed by glass, and she started bleeding soon after. Seeing
her pain, her ex-boyfriend pulled out. Although he didn't succeed, she had completely lost her virginity. As she said this,
I saw tears welling up in her eyes. I knew she might regret it, but she still didn't realize that it was her
gentleness and kindness that harmed her. Whether with her ex-boyfriend or me, she didn't have sex out of lust
, but to heal the wounds in their hearts! Silly girl, why were you so foolish? Don't you know that
some things can't be done with just pity? Later, she finished her studies and returned to Harbin, while the boy stayed
in Beijing. She thought they would be together, but unexpectedly, six months later, the boy called to say he
had found someone new. She said she didn't hate him. I couldn't understand why she was so kind; maybe it
was related . She said the noblest thing in the world isn't how to repay kindness, but how to forget hatred,
how to forgive, and how to face the world with an open mind. Silly girl, but when you
face the world with an open mind, will the world also embrace you with an open mind?

Although she's no longer a virgin, I love her very much. I love it when she dances for me, when she
writes poems , when she paints watercolors for me, and of course, what I love most is making love with her. Every
time she comes to my house, after eating and playing, we end our time together with a passionate lovemaking session. A
month later, our sex life reached a state of perfect harmony, with us experiencing orgasms and euphoria together. The longest
we ever did was an hour and a half before I ejaculated, and she finally begged for mercy, saying, "I surrender." For a while, she practiced
yoga. Because of her dance background, she could perform all the difficult poses with ease. I remember one
pose called "Cat Yoga," where the woman kneels and stretches her body forward as far as possible. She was wearing
jeans . Her buttocks were incredibly taut, and you could see her
bra through the opening under her t-shirt. I felt a surge of desire and said, "Honey, can you practice naked?" Of course, she still refused,
but I knew her kindness and tolerance would allow me to make any request. So I hugged her and said, "Darling
, I want to make love." Seeing my pitiful state, she agreed. I took off all her clothes and began to flirt,
starting with gentle kisses on her ears, then her eyebrows, her eyes, and finally her cherry-like lips. Then, we traveled
down to her breasts. Her breasts have always been my favorite, so I usually caress them a lot. Perhaps it's become
a habit, but touching her breasts is more effective than touching her clitoris. I gently suckled, like
a baby , and soon her nipples hardened again, and soft moans began to rise. "Baby, come on, I want it,
" she said. Hearing this, I said, "Baby, if you do 'cat' yoga naked, I'll do it with you." She pretended to
be angry , but because of her burning desire, she sat up and faced me in a "cat" yoga pose. Although...
We've made love many times, but this was the first time I'd seen her face me in this position. Looking back,
it truly beautiful—her white buttocks, with her round anus fully exposed due to the backward tilt,
the folds around it resembling a chrysanthemum about to bloom, adorned with a few fine pubic hairs, making it look like
the entrance to a mysterious land. Her labia majora were plump and upturned from behind, while her
labia revealed her beautiful vagina and urethra, still so pink, still so fragrant,
without a trace of odor. I… I couldn't help but lick it with my tongue. Although we had made love many times, I had never given her
oral sex before. She said that girls' private parts were dirty and it wasn't good to swallow them. But this time, I really couldn't resist. I
gently , and soon I put my tongue into her vagina. The salty,
wet fluid covered my tongue. I didn't stop and continued to lick and peck vigorously. After a while, I
suddenly heard her let out a loud "Ah!" and it was as if a flood had broken out. Suddenly, a lot of white fluid gushed out,
very sticky and salty. I couldn't resist either and inserted my penis from behind. She screamed desperately, something that had never
happened before. The fluid kept gushing out and quickly flowed out, running down her urethra and clitoris onto her pubic hair
, and then dripping from her pubic hair onto the sheets. "Darling, don't stop, don't stop!" Hearing her hysterical
cries, I thrust even harder. Soon she couldn't hold on any longer and collapsed. I flipped her
over and we started doing it face-to-face again. As I thrust, I suddenly felt her vagina begin to
spasm uncontrollably. She seemed to be suffocating, speechless for a full 30 seconds before she finally took a long
breath and opened her eyes. "Darling, I'm going to have an amazing time! I've never felt this way before. It feels like I'm flying
!" I'm not a girl, so I don't know what flying feels like, but seeing her so satisfied made me very happy.

And so, she experienced her first real orgasm. It turned out that what she called an orgasm wasn't a
real . Afterwards, she said she felt very lewd, like Pan Jinlian. But darling, orgasm is
an enjoyment God gave to humankind. Why did you suppress your instincts? Every time we make love, I want you to feel like you're
"flying

," because you are an angel with beautiful wings.

I can't remember how many times we've made love, but I still vividly remember the most unforgettable and exciting one
. It was October 1st, 2004, a holiday. We went to Mao'er Mountain in Shangzhi County near Harbin. She
used to get up early to run every day, so she woke up very early
. Plus, she couldn't sleep in the new environment, so we woke up early that day. After washing our faces, we went hiking together. She ran ahead, and I chased after her. We had so much fun.
When I caught her, we were both tired, so we sat down to rest under a tree. I looked around and said, "
Baby, let's have some 'wild sex'." To this day, I'm still very grateful to her because she never
refuses me whenever I want. We chose a big rock to sit on. I took off my coat and laid it on the rock, and she took
off her pants. I remember it was cold, and she had to take off several layers before she could get down. Soon, her vagina was completely exposed to
me. I remember I even inserted a cigarette into her vagina and playfully said, "What's wrong? Getting a craving for a cigarette
?" Getting back to the point, I gently gave her oral sex, and soon her juices started flowing. I quickly pulled my pants
down her knees and inserted my penis. The rock was low, so it wasn't quite right on her, which wasn't very comfortable. But
it was really cold at the time. At first, I didn't feel cold because I was all sweaty, but later we were shivering while making love,
but it was definitely exciting because we could vaguely see the village in the distance. As we were doing it, we suddenly heard what sounded like people
coming up the mountain, but we hadn't finished yet. I didn't want to pull out, and she kept urging me, "Hurry up, hurry up!" But
the more I rushed, the less I could ejaculate. When I finally did, I felt like the people coming up the mountain were
only a few dozen meters away from us. She was so anxious that she didn't even put on her underwear, just her jeans, and got up. As soon as
we got up, the group of people coming up the mountain passed by us, about 10 meters away. One of them even said, "There are
people who came even earlier than us." A little girl with glasses innocently asked us, "Did you just go up or are you coming back down the mountain
?" Hehe, I just finished. (*^__^*) Hehe... I thought it was so funny at the time.

Every cloud has a silver lining, and every silver lining can be a misfortune. Just when I thought we'd happily live out our lives like this,
I suddenly received a call from home saying they'd found me a very good job. I couldn't disobey my father's wishes. I couldn't
say whether I was happy or sad, because going home meant being far from her, and I didn't know if we could continue. She comforted me, saying,
"It's okay, once you're settled, I'll come and be a teacher in your area." With her support, on March 15, 2005, a day for
fighting counterfeits , I calmly resigned from my job and went home, becoming a small manager in a company with a clear conscience.

Time flies! Half a year has passed since I came home. During this time, I truly understood
the pain . I realized that my love for her had surpassed my life. During this period, we could only contact each other by phone. On weekends,
I would always go to Harbin to see her. Every time was like a holiday. We'd go shopping, watch movies, play games,
and of course , the most important thing was to go to a hotel and make love! I remember once we were making love in the hotel bathtub, which
was filled with water. As we were doing it, I saw the toilet next to us. Maybe it's because I've watched too many Japanese AVs, but I said,
"Honey, can you squat on it and pee for me?" She probably thought it was funny, so she squatted on the toilet and peed
for me. It was the first time I'd seen her pee so close. Her labia minora shyly parted, and a long stream of water shot
out drops of urine flowing down her labia. "So beautiful!" I picked
her up, laid a towel on the floor, and had her put one leg against the wall, like a ballet dancer practicing.
She obediently put her leg up, and I inserted my penis from the side. I found it difficult and not very comfortable.
She felt the same way, also uncomfortable, and didn't even have an orgasm. But she still obediently raised
her leg, letting me penetrate her, smiling and cooperating with me. Darling, why do you do everything for me?
What not to love you? Holding your hand, growing old together, at this point in life, what regrets are there?!

October 1, 2005 During the long holiday, about two years after we met, I went to Harbin to visit her. She
told me she had lost her job. I was very worried and asked her why. She said the school was undergoing restructuring, and she was originally on a contract basis
, so she couldn't stay. I said, "Then come to my hometown. Let my family help you find a job, and maybe you can also take a look around."
She happily agreed to my parents' request. We sweetly linked arms, as if the whole world belonged to us.
That night , we made love several times. The hotel felt like our bridal chamber, only missing two candles.
During the doggy style, I suddenly wanted to have anal sex with her. She said it was dirty, so I told her to wash. She washed for a long time, and I was
almost sleepy waiting. She said she was done, so I had her stick her butt out and smelled it carefully. It was still so clean, so I licked it with
my tongue . After a while, I felt it was about right, but my tongue was tired, so I tried to insert it. I couldn't
get it in no matter what I tried, and she said it hurt. Then I suddenly remembered there was lubricant in the bathroom. Although it was chargeable, it was better than not being able
to , so I poured a lot of lubricant on. It went in smoothly, but it was very tight. It was so tight
that I could only go in slowly. However, the feeling was completely different from vaginal penetration; it was very stimulating. Afterwards, I asked her
how it felt, and she very cutely said, "I want to go to the toilet."

When I got home, I told my mom about her coming over. To my surprise, my mom, who always dotes on me ,
disagreed. I got angry and said I was definitely going to be with her, and I didn't want anyone else. In the end, my mom and I
parted on bad terms . But no matter what, even if I lost everything, I would choose to be with her. "Looking out, looking out, at
the city gate. A day without seeing her feels like three autumns." I knew we couldn't live without each other.

After the National Day holiday, she came to our house by bus. I was so happy, taking her around to see everything. She was happy too.
But when we got home, I could still sense my mom's displeasure. She seemed to have noticed too, saying she wanted to
go back that day. I said, "Since you've come all this way, why take such a long bus ride and then turn back? Isn't that crazy?" Actually, I was saying
this to my mom, but she probably misunderstood. I could clearly feel she was about to cry, but in the
end , she stayed. She listens to me. She was temporarily unemployed and had plenty of time, but I had to work during the day. I
didn't think too much about it at the time and just... She left me at home alone. When I got home from work, she was gone. I
asked my mom where she was, and she said she had an emergency and went back to Harbin. I immediately guessed that my mom
had said something to her, so I rushed after her. When I got to the station, there was no sign of her. Do you know
how I felt? I wanted to crawl under a car. I called her desperately, but she would
n't answer. It wasn't until the third day that she finally answered. She said, "You'll never find me again." I asked
why, and she said there was no reason, then hung up. Every subsequent call was another long wait; she just wouldn't
answer. So I called constantly, whenever I had a spare moment. On the weekend, I went to Harbin myself, but she still wouldn't answer. I tried
calling a public phone, but still no answer. Finally, I found a hotel and stayed there.
I regretted never having visited her home before. Her house was in a low-rise area, too far from the city center. I'd never had the time to go before, and
now I really wanted to. I was filled with regret. I took a nap, then called her from the hotel phone. She answered. I asked where she was,
saying I wanted to come find her. She cried and said she was in Beijing. Hearing "Beijing," I suddenly thought of her ex-boyfriend, and a
sense of foreboding washed over me. I immediately asked, "What are you doing there?" She said, "Looking for a job." I said, "Looking for a job? You won't answer my
calls I guess you're still hung up on your ex." Actually, I was just saying that in anger. I didn't expect her
to get angry too. She said, "Go ask your mom why I'm here," and then hung up. No matter how many times I called
, she wouldn't answer. With Monday coming up, I had no choice but to go home. When I got home, I asked my mom why she left, but
she wouldn't say. In a fit of anger, I moved in with my friend. My friend advised me not to take it too hard,
but people aren't heartless. During this time, she still wouldn't answer my calls. Then one day, she
called me from an unknown number, saying she had found a job in Beijing and was temporarily staying at her ex-boyfriend's house. I
suddenly... Recalling her first time with her ex-boyfriend, the house where she lost her virginity,
I was overwhelmed with mixed feelings, including jealousy. When I asked her when she would be back, she wouldn't say.
I was angry and hung up. Later, when I called that unfamiliar number, it said it was a public phone. Her
cell phone was disconnected, and it remained disconnected. Since then, I haven't received a call from her. I know she's not
a heartless person, but her cruel decision must be related to my mother. Not being able to contact
her is incredibly painful. I drink and smoke every day. When my mother calls, I either yell at
her or don't answer. Even today, I still can't reach her, by phone or online. I've left her countless messages online
, but I've never replied. Do you know, my beloved blog—your departure took my
soul with you. I'm like a lost ghost, in unbearable pain.

It's been 3 years since I last saw her. Years have passed. During this time, I've seen my girlfriend again, but I
can never recapture the feeling I had with her. I moved back home; after all, I lost my girlfriend, and I couldn't lose
the warmth of family too. I got married at the beginning of 2008! In this life, I don't know if we'll ever meet again.
If there truly is an afterlife, I'd rather be two trees with you, rooted on the edge of a cliff, loving each other, never to be separated!

If time could turn back, and everything could start over, I would rather return to where my dream began.

[The End]

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