Mature woman's dream ends

"Many of the young men of Jiangdong are beasts; who knows when they might return!"
I believe that with my methods, winning Jingzhu back to my side shouldn't be too difficult, but the thought of the old woman's tearful face makes me reluctant.
For a while after Jingzhu's marriage, I started to ponder a question: why am I so attached to women like her? Here, I must mention my family.
My parents are both art educators. My father has a strong Shanghai "young master" mentality, fond of composing poetry and enjoying romance. My mother is a typical "petit bourgeois." I don't particularly like my parents' lifestyle. When I was in junior high, we hired a nanny, a laid-off worker from Shanghai, who resembled "Ah Cai" from the currently popular TV series "Double-Sided Adhesive." I inexplicably liked her, rather than my thin-armed, thin-legged mother—of course, a child's attachment to an adult.
Now, after work, I don't interact with anyone or participate in any activities. I just want to stay in Jingzhu's house, quietly reliving those fleeting memories, wishing those days could return, but Jingzhu is gone forever. In the kitchen, I seem to see her busy at work, wearing an apron; in the living room, I seem to see her sitting on the sofa, wearing a blue floral nightgown, chatting and laughing softly. In the bedroom, I can smell her faint fragrance. My dearest, my beloved Jingzhu, are you also sleepless tonight like me?
On the bed, I found a few strands of Jingzhu's hair. I was overjoyed, like discovering a rare treasure, carefully wrapping them up and placing them on my bedside table, as if she were accompanying me to sleep every night.
I remembered something interesting, because Jingzhu almost got into a fight with Guoli.
At a film screening event, I ran into Guoli, and we were both a little drunk.
I said, "Old Zhang, do you remember your famous line at the end of 'A Sigh'? 'Even if she were a fairy, you'd have to put up with it. Besides, there are no fairies in this world.' Well, believe it or not, there are fairies in Beijing. I can't stand it anymore." "
You're practically a monk now, who has that kind of ability?"
"Jingzhu, Ruan Jingzhu."
"Oh! That's an old fairy." This guy's got a real tongue.
"An old fairy is still a fairy, she's definitely younger than your old Deng, right?" I relentlessly teased him.
"You, if you say that again, I'll get angry!" Old Zhang was furious.
"If it weren't for you being a friend, I'd have slapped your son long ago. You're saying Jingzhu is no good."
Old Zhang, drunk, grabbed a bottle and was about to hit me. Yuko, always the good guy, stood up and said, "Guoli, Guoli, sit down. Don't pretend to be a gangster. There are no gangsters in mainland China. You don't know, Jingzhu is Director Yang's darling. Shake hands, it's all good, it's all good."
"We're both wrists, it's not good to hurt either of us. If word gets out, people will laugh at us. If something bad happens, who will make TV dramas for the whole country?" Bucktooth Gang, always the good guy.
Unconsciously, Jingzhu had been married for two months, but it felt longer than two years. I was in a daze all day, my mind filled with her image. Was I going to die in this aimless longing? I was only thirty, with a bright future ahead of me. Since I couldn't be a saint in this life, I might as well be a devil for once. I'd learned a lesson from my years of fighting with people: the most complex things are often solved in the simplest way.
With that in mind, I decided to go find Jingzhu's husband. Upon arriving at the Commission of Science, Technology and Industry for National Defense, I went straight to him, explained my purpose directly, and then we went to a coffee shop for a detailed discussion. I recounted why I had sought his help and the whole story between Jingzhu and me. True to his upbringing, he was calm and composed, without the expected outburst of anger. A week later, news arrived: they were divorced. Finally, dawn broke. No wonder Bei Dao said that ruthlessness is the passport of the ruthless.
On the afternoon of the third day after their divorce, Jinglan sent me a message: her sister was at her parents' house that day. Jinglan had been acting as my "informant" ever since we met after Jingzhu's wedding; she had always harbored resentment towards her parents for disapproving of my marriage to her sister.
After work, I went straight to her parents' house, constantly thinking on the way: What has Jingzhu become after two months? Is she still the same towards me as before? When I arrived, I saw Jinglan in the yard as soon as I entered. Seeing me, she gestured towards the house with her lips and whispered, "She's upstairs. Behave yourself."
Entering the living room, the elderly were all there. I timidly said, "Uncle, Aunt, I heard about W… and wanted to see her." The old woman's expression was a little strange. "Alright! Xiao Yang, Lily's upstairs." It seemed they didn't know the inside story of Jingzhu's divorce.
Going upstairs, the door was open; she had clearly heard me talking downstairs. W was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, which made her face look even paler. She had clearly lost weight in just two months. My heart ached as if stabbed by needles.
"Zi Dong, what brings you here? Come in." A hint of surprise and joy flashed in her eyes, but it quickly returned to calm.
"Jingzhu, you've lost weight, you've really lost weight. I didn't want to come, but I couldn't help it, I couldn't help it." I forced back my tears, tightly hugged her thin shoulders, and kicked the door shut. My beloved Jingzhu, whom I've thought of day and night, I will never let you go again.
I could no longer contain my impulse and, in a fit of madness, I began to undress her. W was stunned; she never imagined I would dare to do such a beastly thing in her parents' house. She didn't dare move, afraid her parents would hear. The process went unusually smoothly. I had completely shed this human skin.
"Sister, it's time to eat," her sister called from outside the door, knocking. We jumped out of bed in a flurry of activity, almost putting on the wrong clothes. Jingzhu frantically searched for a comb to brush her hair, which looked like a bird's nest.
The door opened, and Jinglan stared at me without saying a word. Heaven knows how long she had been standing outside. I knew I couldn't hide it anymore, so I simply stated bluntly, "Jinglan, for your sister's sake, let this matter remain buried in your stomach today." I stared intently at her and said fiercely.
Downstairs, her mother saw Jingzhu's disheveled hair and tear-streaked face, somewhat surprised but not wanting to ask too many questions. Halfway through the meal, her mother said, "I almost forgot, there's still one dish left." She then left. I thought, "Oh no, I didn't have time to clean the bed." I quickly said, "Auntie, let me help you," and followed her out.
Sure enough, her mother went upstairs, and I followed her into the room. Seeing the mess on the bed, I understood everything.
"Wolf, you really are a wolf! You've got some nerve!" The old woman slapped me hard across the face, making my vision blur. "You, you two get married right now! Go get the paperwork done tomorrow, and never come here again!" The old woman was incoherent with anger.
The permit was finally in hand.
For Jingzhu, her parents' words were law. It seemed my method was correct; one should "press the attack while the iron is hot," seizing the opportunity before she had time to think.
Despite the old woman's disdain for my actions, her attitude changed drastically the moment I became her son-in-law. After we got our marriage certificate and returned home, my mother, with tears in her eyes, held my hand and said, "My child, you've had a long and difficult journey together. You must treat Jingzhu well; we believe in you." I said, "Mom, don't worry. Even if there's only one bun left, I'll save her most of it."
I made two suggestions: don't hold a wedding ceremony, because Jingzhu had just had one and was afraid people would laugh at her; her son should stay at his parents' house temporarily and come to my house on Sundays to gradually adjust. The old lady agreed and praised my thoughtfulness.

Life after the wedding flowed by like water. I emerged from the intense emotions of joy and sorrow, full of energy, and became more proactive at work, soon being promoted to a full-fledged department head. I thought, "I must be the happiest man in the world." Life was filled with the sweetness of everyday life.
Perhaps some women are only meant to be admired, not lived with. Unfortunately, Jingzhu was that kind of woman.
Before we got married, I really didn't know her at all. Her image was as perfect as her roles, but once we got to know each other, all sorts of flaws surfaced. Maybe my expectations of her were too high, or maybe she was just an ordinary woman, and all those positive qualities were just things I'd imagined.
I never expected Jingzhu to be unable to cook. Having been pampered since childhood, she'd almost never set foot in a stove. Her best dish was noodles; she couldn't even fry an egg, so we had to hire a cleaning lady, but it felt like something was missing.
Incredibly, Jingzhu's hygiene habits were terrible. She never washed window linens or sofa covers unless reminded, and she wouldn't change her underwear for a week. She'd just throw away her clean clothes anywhere, including her underwear and bra. Don't laugh, but after we made love, she'd just grab a piece of clothing, clip it up, and fall asleep. At first, I forced her to wash them, then I carried her to wash them, and eventually I just gave up. This caused me to lose my underwear several times at work, and my pillowcases were often stained.
The worst part was that Jingzhu was incredibly boring and vulgar. I had hoped she would be a loving companion, keeping me company while I studied, but I was completely wrong. She knows absolutely nothing about literature, history, travel, sports, economics, or politics. She reads only children's magazines like *Zhiyin* and *Reader*, and at most, magazines like *Shanghai Fashion*. She never reads the *Sanlian Life Weekly*, *Philharmonic*, or *New Weekly* that I subscribe to.
As an actress, she doesn't even know who Edward Yang, Abbas Kiarostami, or Cate Blanchett are. Let alone Almodóvar or Kim Ki-duk. She loves watching those domestic dramas. Listening to those cheesy songs like "Poisonous Perfume" and "Above the Moon" makes me so angry I want to smash my CD player. Sometimes I try to talk to her about literature and music, but when I mention Wagner, Sibelius, or Susan Sontag, she's completely bewildered. Gradually, it seems we have very little to say to each other.
Of course, it's not like we have absolutely nothing in common. For example, we both enjoy sumo wrestling and practicing the "Jade Maiden Sword Technique," and we both love the classic Chinese text "A Study of Sexual Techniques Throughout History." We even read the great classical literary works "The Heart Sutra of the Plain Girl" and "Jin Ping Mei" together.
Actually, these aren't major issues of right and wrong; perhaps most Chinese women are like this. But she was once my goddess, which is why I feel so lost.
These small things often gradually become the chasm between couples. Many divorces aren't due to any fundamental error, but rather the accumulation of minor problems.
I don't want to distance myself from Jingzhu; after all, our present situation is hard-won, and I truly want to cherish it. But this feeling inadvertently surfaces.
Jingzhu also senses this subtle change, but she can't express it. Recently, her workplace has been putting on a play, keeping her very busy.
One evening after dinner, I saw her reading an article in "Fashionable Housewife." I peeked at her from behind, and the title was "How to Keep Your Husband in Bed."
It wasn't even eight o'clock yet when Jingzhu said, "Zidong, I'm a little tired, I'm going to sleep now, you should rest early too." Her eyes were a little wistful, and I realized I hadn't touched her for over a week.
I'd just stepped inside after showering when something felt off. Jingzhu had changed the floor lamp to a pink one, creating a hazy, ambiguous atmosphere. Looking at her, good heavens! She was wearing a pale white slip dress that barely covered her hips. Her hair was like a cloud, cascading down her back. The straps were so thin I was worried they'd fall down at any moment, so I went over and tugged at them—they were surprisingly sturdy. And surprisingly, with this disguise, Jingzhu really didn't look her age; the crow's feet and sagging skin on her face had disappeared. I felt both amused and bittersweet; she'd really gone to great lengths.
I thought I should say something. "Honey, what a day this is! You're all dressed up so beautifully. Please don't test me; my willpower is too weak. If you did that during revolutionary times, I'd be a complete disaster." Then I gently hugged her. "Honey, I'm sorry, I've been too busy these past few days. I'll definitely behave well today and make amends."
Jingzhu's face flushed red. She said, "Stop talking nonsense. I just wanted to show you how nice this pajama set I bought today is. What is it? It's over two thousand even at a 60% discount!"
"Givenchy, it fits perfectly! It's like it was tailor-made for my wife. You could be the brand's spokesperson. Kate Moss and Heidi Klum are way better than you. If you had entered the modeling world earlier, Cindy Crawford wouldn't stand a chance, not to mention Campbell, that black girl. She should just stay home and nurse her baby." I showered her with compliments. All women like to hear nice things; whether it's true or not is secondary.
Jingzhu's face flushed even more, as if she wanted to say something. After a long pause, she whispered in my ear, barely a whisper, "Zidong, you... you can use whatever position you want today." Her voice wasn't loud, but it was deafening. I felt like crying. What a wonderful wife she was, and I was always complaining.
A long-awaited downpour descended, darkening the sky and causing flash floods. Finally, the rain stopped, and Jingzhu nestled in my arms. Her expensive Givenchy dress, worth thousands of yuan, was now a rag—what a waste.
Jingzhu looked at me wistfully and sighed softly, saying, "Zidong, do you know, I've always lived in fear. You're too bold with women."

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