【Night Memories】

Afraid

of waking my sleeping mother, I walked barefoot to the window and gently closed the screen.

Looking through the screen at the dark night sky, the night air tickled my nose; the night always carries a certain

indescribable ambiguity. The two brightest stars overhead looked just like her eyes. She, in the distance, should be lying

soundly asleep on her soft bed, perhaps a faint smile still lingering on her face. I wonder if I'm in her dreams, and

if the tidy bedroom still carries the scent of her and him whispering sweet nothings. I quietly got into

bed, leaned against the corner, and after the lighter flickered, the bedroom plunged into darkness.

It's already two in the morning. On nights like this, I always find it hard to drift off to sleep, hard to find a resting place for my

chaotic thoughts. I just stare quietly at the ceiling, reminiscing, dreaming about our

past and future. The first time I video-chatted with her, I felt strange. How could this be? She looked at least ten years younger

in the video than in the photos.

I sometimes wondered what it would be like to meet her in real life.

Her voice was captivating, possessing a gentleness, magnetism, and allure rarely seen in a thirty-year-old woman. There's

a first time for everything, and after my first all-night video chat with her, I fantasized about her for the first

time .

Thinking of her baby face, I masturbated to my proudly sized penis. Thinking of her sexy

lips, I convulsed and ejaculated onto the freshly painted tiles. For a

single man lacking sexual satisfaction, fantasizing about a woman he'd never met is perfectly normal. I'm lewd, but I'm

also realistic.

Although we became increasingly familiar, and our conversations became more and more unrestrained, I never truly considered

having any online affair or sex with this charming young woman in real life. I was well aware of my

situation ; she had a happy present, while I only had a cold, seemingly glorious past. We

weren't on the same level.

Once, on my way to an internet cafe, I observed the pedestrians and the old trees lining the street. Seasons change, and the pedestrians

on the street have somehow shed their heavy winter coats and donned spring attire, no longer rushing about.

The old trees along the street have also been adorned with spring colors overnight, painting the nearby sky with patches of azure. I recalled

the first sentence of a high school essay—"Red willow branches, white willow tips, another spring has arrived." Humming a little tune, I

was intoxicated by the footsteps of spring, and by this incomparably exhilarating springtime atmosphere. This spring is different because of her!

When I confirmed that the petite woman with a beautiful figure and fashionable attire not far away was her, I was

a little stunned, a little dumbfounded. In that brief eye contact, I felt a little suffocated, as if the whole world had stopped. Her

bright orange blouse accentuated the curves of her chest, and I greedily admired everything I could see,

my mouth going dry . That moment of loss of composure reminded me of her saying I had a mother complex. I admit it,

I love the maternal glow my mother exudes. She gives me such a warm and comforting feeling. I can't be sure

what it is that makes me so unable to let go of her. I'm increasingly unable to live without her. I don't know what life would be like

without her, or what color the sky would be without her. This

charming young woman, she may have never worn a dress before, yet the moment I saw her, I was

utterly captivated by her alluring charm.

I kissed her forehead, and she slightly opened her eyes to look at me, then buried her face in my neck,

asking if I wanted to lie here for a while. I continued to gaze at her tenderly. When she looked up again, her eyes were unfocused.

As I reached to unbutton her bra, she struggled, her eyes like those of a frightened animal. I maintained my

gaze. In that instant, I read three words in her eyes: confusion, fear, and hesitation. I suddenly embraced her,

sealing my lips tightly against hers. She resisted, her breathing becoming rapid. Just

as , I slipped my tongue between her teeth. I felt her whole body trembling; as for myself? Who knows?

My tongue moved nimbly through her mouth. Teeth, gums, and suddenly I felt my

tongue —slightly cold, slippery, and small. I used all my strength to push my entire tongue into her mouth,

plundering something within her, trying forcefully to press her tongue down. I felt her constantly retreating, and when I had occupied

her entire oral cavity, leaving her nowhere to escape, I seemed to hear a sigh from her heart. I

paused instinctively, and suddenly felt that small tongue give up its resistance, instead responding with a hint of receptivity. In that instant,

I no longer hesitated, and she no longer resisted. We kissed. It was passionate, wet, and long. For a good

seven or eight minutes, we finally recovered from our greedy embrace. Our four lips, as if destined to

be joined together, pressed tightly together again after a brief pause.

I sat opposite her and slowly took off my clothes, neatly laying them on the bed. I sat shirtless beside her

and continued massaging her feet. She laughed and said, "No, you can't do that! I want to sleep." I

almost burst out laughing. I asked myself, would it be like last time? She was much more open than the last time we met,

but still retained the reserve of a young woman. She trembled slightly when I touched her body. I could no longer

control my desire and caressed her. I lay on my side, inhaling the alluring scent emanating from her.

I rubbed my lips against her cheek, one hand causing her already thin clothing to shift noticeably.

Soon, she closed her eyes again, her lips kissing me forcefully as if trying to suck me in. I

knew she, like me, had been anticipating this moment. Her body was no longer as stiff as before, feeling

so soft. At this moment, in this night of boundless spring, everything about this young woman belonged to me! It wasn't

until I met her that I truly understood how stimulating passionate kisses and lovemaking with a mature woman could be. If the last

intimate encounter was an explosion of pent-up desire, then this was the inevitable union of two hearts. I've only ever felt this way

once: the first time I entered my first love's body. The physical stimulation became

insignificant ; the feeling of two hearts touching was enough to drive me mad, to make me obsessed. You know? Darling, during our time apart, I

missed you every moment; I wanted to kiss every inch of your skin. Doing so would make me feel like you were right

beside .

When she kissed me, every muscle in my body tensed under this sudden stimulation…

A tingling, itchy sensation slowly rose up my spine. As this feeling gradually reached the top of my head, an

involuntary shiver followed. My whole body trembled with bliss.

The night outside the window was deep, and the imprint of her image etched in my heart stretched to every corner of my life.

I am not a devil, nor a wolf in sheep's clothing, nor a Buddha; I yearn for freedom, even

to do as I . I abandoned the principles I had silently upheld for years in exchange for a pair of wings. I soared on the sea of freedom,

without repression, without panic. Perhaps this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. When her presence disappeared from my world,

I broke these wings, stained with sweat, tears, blood, and bodily fluids, letting myself freefall, crashing to the ground

until death. Perhaps this is the price to pay for being a bad man

. As my inner self shouted "stop!", I took

my first step the world saw as a small step almost exhausted all my strength. I trembled, panting, as I moved

my heavy body. Because I carried a heavy shell—traditional constraints, moral standards, principles that a thirty-

year-old man could no longer keep up with the times. My relationship with my girlfriend had been lukewarm for five years.

Although she hadn't left me, I knew she no longer belonged to me. When I realized this,

I decided to abandon my principles. I still loved her more than myself, but this was the flower of familial affection,

not the fruit of romantic love. There was no burning passion, like a sealed room with air conditioning, devoid of seasonal changes.

I longed for the blazing sun or a sky full of snowflakes; I yearned to be burned or frozen, I craved

the surging passion that shook my heart, even if it meant excruciating pain.

It's fair to say that even after the breakup, my girlfriend still held a significant place in my life; I would never forget

the pained expression on her face on the operating table. Before the breakup, in every detail of life, betraying my girlfriend would

have tormented my conscience. She, on the other hand, gave me unlimited freedom and wouldn't even interfere with any

physical or emotional infidelity. I know my relationship with my girlfriend was a moral game, binding my yearning for freedom

and her desire for intimacy. My impression of her was that she was a conservative girl; during our time living together, I

never heard her utter a sound of affection during our intimacy. She didn't offer passionate love, but she etched countless tender details

onto the walls of my heart. Until that day, faced with the choice between the legendary blissful life and the unparalleled warmth of our past relationship,

she chose the former, while I remained, continuing my endless reverie of the latter.

I particularly admire men who indulge in frivolous pleasures and countless romantic encounters, but I don't envy them! Although it's shameless,

knowing shame is akin to courage, and at least I lack that kind of courage. Now I want to say, I can do it too, because I care about her

importance and value in my heart, so I'm willing to sacrifice everything. Articles about extramarital affairs are everywhere online, but I

never dared to imagine it happening to me. I know my own limitations, but reflection after this experience tells me: I thought about it,

I did it, I gave my all—what's wrong with that? What does money or official position have to do with it? Isn't this a hundred times better than those hypocritical, sanctimonious

officials? Just like when I wrote the first word of this post, I wanted to type out some truthful

words to let my soul run wild. I told myself that fantasy is innocent, truth is innocent, and a man should have the courage

to overturn the status quo!

Her home is far away, and she can't always be by my side. When I'm with her, I still feel

the same quiet tenderness I have with my girlfriend. In the days apart, I still maintain the same state I've had for the past three years—

cold , silent, like a hedgehog rejecting any meaningful touch. Because her honest gaze is

an insurmountable obstacle for me. Compared to the pangs of conscience after the passion fades, I choose to give it my all, hoping for lasting

peace . Perhaps we will weather the storms together, or perhaps we will live in our own cities, keeping each other

as the most precious diamond hidden in our hearts. Diamonds are beautiful, but they have sharp edges, leaving glaring

marks . The future holds too many uncertainties, and perhaps that's precisely what draws me to continue this journey.

Suddenly, images of many heroic figures flashed before my eyes: Dong Cunrui, Huang Guangji… I longed for

a silent rebirth or a momentous immortality! I needed her to witness my glorious moment

. Objectively speaking, she wasn't a stunning beauty, but she possessed a sexy body, sexy lips,

full large breasts, a round and firm bottom, elastic and snow-white thighs, and slender calves,

all of which exuded a fatal allure to her mature body. Especially when she lay on her side on the spring bed, I

couldn't help but run my fingers over her breasts. Most captivating was her aura, like a burning fire, radiating

heat and showcasing all the beauty of a young woman to its fullest! I was mesmerized, obsessed.

The second time we were squeezed into the same bed, I think she knew what was about to happen. She was a little nervous,

but didn't refuse; I could tell she was willing to give herself to me. From then on, I cherished her even more, obsessed with her.

I was afraid she would melt if I held her in my mouth, yet I still wanted to. After our first intimate encounter, I

got used to it and became obsessed with her body and everything about her. I loved watching her on top of me, her

gentle yet persistent gaze, and the warmth that made me want to pull her into my arms.

Like a beautiful bride, she quickly shed all her clothes and fled into the bathroom. Although

the fluids I had ejaculated that morning still lingered in her body, she was still shy. This was a normal

reaction for a woman, and I didn't want to put any pressure on her, so I followed her in after a while. When she saw me come in, she covered her

full, white body with her hands, avoiding my invasive gaze. Her hands weren't big enough,

and I still saw her alluring cleavage and tempting pubic hair. I stood behind her with a smile, caressing her body. The water from the showerhead soaked

our bodies and also moistened my long-parched heart.

When she came out of the bathroom, her body was still dotted with water droplets, like a lotus emerging from the water,

delicate and beautiful . The room was still a bit chilly, and her fair skin was covered in goosebumps from the cold air

. I quickly grabbed a sheet and wrapped her up tightly, leaving only her head and white feet sticking out.

I carried her horizontally onto the bed like a child. The bed was already made; everything on it

had way for our impending battle, moving aside. I removed the sheet from her and

admired her body as if it were a work of art. She closed her eyes in embarrassment and turned her face away.

I lay naked on top of her, my cock rubbing against her lower abdomen,

feeling a cool breeze from the pubic hair between her legs. I lifted her face and

began kissing her, then her mouth, ears, neck, nape of her neck, chest, and lower abdomen. I raised her legs and placed them on

my shoulders. Her body stiffened slightly; this was a position we'd never tried before. She probably felt her

genitals were completely exposed, and her body writhed restlessly. As I penetrated her, I felt her body react even more strongly than

before . The impact on a certain part of her body sent her into a frenzy of pleasure,

causing her to cry out in ecstasy. Hearing her moans and seeing her seductive state, I thrust

harder There was no other sound in the room except her moans and the sounds of flesh colliding.

When her climax came, her cries were loud and intoxicating. She swayed her plump, white buttocks to meet my

thrusts , and I felt her deepest parts throbbing, her alluring anus powerfully sucking at my thumb.

Her moans trembled, almost hoarse, as I thrust into her at top speed,

climaxing inside her as she reached the peak of pleasure. The gushing sensation, like an egg hitting my back, flowed through

every cell of my body. The afterglow of the climax left us breathless, her body slightly weak, occasionally trembling

. I held her close, wrapping one leg around her lower abdomen, and she let me caress her body like a kitten.

When I checked the time on my phone, I realized we'd been locked in a passionate battle for a full hour and a half. I

kissed her cheek with a sly grin. She smiled seductively at me, a satisfied smile on her lips, her face still

flushed, a mixture of laughter and shyness, a look that would make anyone's heart flutter.

She asked me to carry her, and I readily agreed, lowering my tall frame like a willing ox. She

nestled on my back like a little koala, and I lifted her up, supporting her bottom. It felt wonderful to carry her; she

wasn't heavy, soft, and her firm breasts pressed tightly against my back, tickling me a little. I swayed from side to side

, and she clung tightly to my neck, asking with concern if I was tired, if my injured leg

was bothering her, and why I was swaying so much. Little did she know, my eldest daughter

had slept on my back countless nights, to my swaying. If I could, I'd like her to sleep on me like that

for a while ; perhaps that's the best comfort I can give her right now.

She laughed like a child on my back, clearly happy, but after a short distance, she insisted on jumping off and pulling me

back by the hand.

Holding her hand, we walked down the bustling street. Her hand in my palm, like this May night,

was as gentle as a handful of sweet spring water, cool and sweet, seeping into my bones.

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【Night Memories】

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