[The Wife's Confession]

First, let me introduce myself. I am a middle-aged woman, and my husband

works .

About three years ago, I accidentally discovered that my husband has masochistic tendencies, or rather, he is a masochist.

We had been married for nearly twenty years when I discovered this.

It happened by chance when I found a box of clothes my husband had hidden at home, all of which

contained masochistic themes, along with his own fantasies. These fantasies depicted him as my servant, attending to me,

and described me being intimate with other men, while punishing him by forbidding him from having sex with me.

My initial reaction was disgust; however, I didn't tell him. Then, I calmed down and

thought about it carefully. What disgusted me most was that I had loved him and lived with him for so many years without knowing he

was this kind of person; I thought I knew him completely. What angered me even more was that he described my infidelity in his writings

. Frankly, I am a jealous woman, and I would be unable to tolerate knowing he was with other women

; yet he fantasized about me being intimate with other men. If he loved me, how could he fantasize about me being intimate with other men

?

But thinking about it made me feel much better. After all, in his fantasy, he loved me, and no matter how

strange the form it took, he still wanted me to be happy. For the next few weeks, I didn't say anything and didn't let him notice.

I thought I'd just let him secretly continue his fantasy. But I couldn't calmly forget about it.

I worried that his strange fantasies would develop to a point I couldn't control, since I no longer

fully understood my husband. Later, almost unconsciously, one night I told him I had a headache, asked him to do the dishes and

clean the kitchen, and even put an apron on him. I also said I should make him do more chores more often in the future.

And I started imagining what kind of man I would sleep with if I had the chance. When we were out, my husband and I

would often comment on good-looking men, intentionally or unintentionally.

Finally, a few weeks later, I told him about it, and this time it was his turn to feel uneasy. I reassured him that I did

n't care about his "hobbies," and I also expressed my unease, asking him if he wanted to continue fantasizing or if he wanted to realize this fantasy to some extent in

real life.

We decided to try something more realistic. At first, he simply did more housework, and he

had to wear an apron while doing it (later he just wore an apron while doing housework :)).

He also started doing things to please me, like combing my hair, massaging me, and trimming my pedicure. In bed, I gradually became

the more proactive one. Our rule was that he wasn't allowed to reach orgasm during sex, and he could only

use his hand to release himself during the week on weekends. These rules were all his ideas, and I didn't mind.

We found that these things satisfied us both; of course, I was happy for him to do more housework. What woman would

n't want to relax in the evening, watch TV or read the newspaper, while her man massages her feet?

And we found that the more proactive I was in bed, the more I demanded my own satisfaction and pleasure, and the more I neglected his

normal needs, the more satisfied and happy we both became. I also found that the less I satisfied him, the more he

tried to satisfy my personal needs.

Over the years, our interests have continued to evolve. We keep trying new things, and our principle is that

what we do must be something we both enjoy.

One significant change in our relationship is that he dresses more like a servant at home. At first, I wasn't used to it, but I

gradually got used to it and even enjoyed having a real servant.

Another change is that I started having other boyfriends. This phase happened gradually. At first, I was just more flirtatious and charming with

other men, but later I realized I had someone I liked, and at the same time, my husband was fully aware of and

supportive of our relationship. Now I have two other boyfriends, and I date them regularly.

They are both younger than me, one in his thirties and the other a college student. When I'm with other men, I'm still a

jealous woman and don't allow them to have sex with other women...

As for being with my husband, we hardly have sex anymore. He still only uses his hand on Saturdays.

He doesn't allow me to hug him, only his mouth, to lick my feet, or sometimes to lick me

clean .

Many readers might think we're going a bit too far, because fidelity to one's spouse is fundamental in marriage, and I don't know why we're like this, but it's become a reality. Not only is it a reality, but the process of my husband and I preparing for

my dates together is our "intimate" time.

He helped me bathe and dress,

combed my hair and painted my nails; we were excited and intimate during this process. He planned my

evenings , and we talked even more when I got home. He helped me undress and made the bed. He always

loved to hear the intimate details of my evenings, and I was happy to share them with him.

I haven't yet brought my lover home to be intimate with other men in front of my husband; it will take time

and isn't safe because our secret isn't public yet. I'm happy to write this online now; because I've

always hoped someone would listen to me. Thank you!

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[The Wife's Confession]

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