The Pain of First Love (The End)

I. Acquaintance
After graduating from university, I came to unfamiliar Beijing and became a technician at an internet company. At the time, I lived

in a dilapidated apartment building in Xisi Hutong, sharing a place with a colleague.
My colleague was a project manager, a typical workaholic who often worked overtime until the early hours of the morning. While I

was half-asleep or frantically flirting with girls on QQ, the reckless thumping of his big leather shoes echoed down the corridor.
My job was relatively relaxed, a 9-to-5 life. In my free time, I

would chat aimlessly with my online buddies.
During that time, I met a manager at an internet cafe. He heard I majored in computer science and was very impressed with me.

He said he had started working right after high school and even wanted to become my apprentice. He even treated me to a meal at a street food stall, and we

drank half a dozen beers with the barbecue.
Seeing his sincerity, I taught him a few tricks. This guy isn't very bright; he didn't understand after I explained. I

said, "Then I'll have to teach you step by step, right?" He agreed and told me to come to his internet cafe sometime. I said, "We'll see."
This guy is a total womanizer; he's not good at learning, but he's a master at picking up girls. He's not very knowledgeable, but

he's tall, handsome, and has a sunny disposition. Unless you're chatting with him, you'd never guess he's such a clueless idiot.
We'd only known each other for a short time when he told me on QQ that he wanted to introduce me to a girlfriend. I said I already had

a girlfriend ,
and he said, "Don't be ridiculous. The other day when you were drunk, you said your girlfriend married someone else." I was stunned. I didn't remember telling him that at all. I remember never telling anyone, because that

girl never admitted we were ever together. We were just dating secretly for a while, and then she

married a guy who was much better off than me.
This whole thing bothered me for a while, but then it faded away. I once seriously asked myself if I

had ever loved her. I realized it wasn't really love, because not long after, her memory of it became hazy, just like my few pathetic

one-night stands—I couldn't recall any memorable details. In that sense, I

've never truly been in a relationship. Although I'm no longer a virgin physically, I'm still a virgin psychologically. Am I

being shameless?
Oh, and I haven't introduced him yet. This guy's name is Liu Xinpeng, also from out of town, 21 this year,

two years younger than me. He looks quite energetic, with a bright, sunny smile, but deep down he's a lecherous scoundrel, constantly plotting

to sleep with girls.
Taking advantage of internet cafes, he's harassed countless naive young girls and lonely young women. But he's still

single, without any family or friends. He often laments how cruel fate has been to him, how God hasn't even given him a wife.
I said, "Even if you had a wife, would you still be flirting with other women?" He said he couldn't guarantee it. I said, "

Who could be with someone like you?" He said he absolutely had to find someone young, beautiful, and rich. I said, "Keep dreaming."

He said that wasn't certain, maybe he'd bring me one someday.
A few days later, on a late autumn weekend afternoon, I was fast asleep, daydreaming. His phone call

woke me up. He told me he was at the Baren Beef Restaurant downstairs and wanted me to come down, saying he'd brought a girl to introduce

me to.
I groggily got up, washed my face, slipped on a pair of foam slippers, wore a tattered crew-neck t-shirt and

shorts, and went downstairs.
This was the first time I met Achen, and from then on, my life changed.
She was a girl with clear eyes, a slight blush on her face, and dressed in a neat

student outfit. She smiled sweetly and greeted me.
Liu Xinpeng loudly called for a few more bottles of beer, and I knew he wanted me to pay the bill

. I didn't say anything, just asked the girl's name and school. She said she was studying hotel management at a tourism college, 17

years old, and a freshman. She also said she was from Beijing. I said okay, and that I'd let her know if she needed anything. Then we

started clinking glasses. The girl drank it down very readily, which surprised me.
I was on an exceptionally good night, drinking quite easily and telling a few jokes that made Liu Xinpeng

laugh like a fool. The girl also covered her mouth and laughed.
Later, as we drank more and more, the girl started to feel the effects. It was getting dark, and Liu Xinpeng was clearly drunk, but

he still insisted on bringing some beer to my place. I said, "Let's forget it, let's do it another day." He insisted, and I

realized that arguing with a drunkard was pointless, so I just went along with it.
Back at my two-bedroom apartment, Liu Xinpeng complimented how tidy my room was. I said, "

That's just how I am." The girl tilted her head, smiled, and didn't say anything. So we continued drinking in my room.
Gradually, he almost passed out, so I had to help him to my roommate's room, throw him on the bed, and he was completely

unconscious . My roommate went back to her hometown for the weekend, so I wasn't feeling guilty at all.
The girl was chatting on QQ on my computer in my room, and I was watching her. That's when I finally had a chance to observe her from

the side , and I noticed that her breasts were quite well-developed, somewhere between a C and D cup.
I stole a couple of glances, then felt guilty and didn't dare look again. The girl didn't look at me, casually tapping the keyboard occasionally,

a faint smile playing on her lips.
I paced around the room a couple of times, then suddenly realized that not seizing such a good opportunity would make me a

beast . So, I awkwardly went over, pretending to watch her chat, my heart pounding, and reached out to stroke her hair. She didn't

flinch or say anything, so I mustered my courage and kissed the top of her head.
She shifted slightly, seemingly uneasy, paused for a moment, and murmured, "Wait, just a

moment ..."
I stood awkwardly beside her, my mind blank. She hesitated, then closed QQ,

lowered her head to think for a moment, then stood up, draped her arm over my shoulder, and looked at me with bright, sparkling eyes.
Only then did I realize how incredibly young she was, with a baby-like complexion and a very young appearance

. Yet, I also saw a hint of sorrow in her eyes, something clearly not a child's. Before I could think further, her

soft , full lips were close to mine. I touched them lightly, and nothing had ever moved me like this.

In the cool autumn night, I heard her breathy, ethereal whispers, and I savored this exquisite taste. Her

nimble tongue entwined with mine, driving me both intoxicated and maddened.
她的短裙和轻薄的衣衫毫不费力地被拉下来，在我上下其手，即将进入她的

文胸一探虚实的时候，她突然用力抓住我的手，喘息着，一双从迷醉中挣扎着清

醒的眼睛看我我，问了句：“我听说你被女朋友甩了？”
??? 我愕然，点了点头，说：“这很丢脸吗？”
??? 她不好意思地笑着轻轻摇了摇头，说：“没有啊，可是你没问我有没有男朋

友。”
??? 我忽然觉得应该不好意思的是我自己，于是就问了句：“那你有男朋友吗？”
??? 她咬了咬嘴唇，犹豫了下，说：“有的啊。”
??? 我一愣，心说，我真是个禽兽。没想到她接着低声嘀咕说：“他是个混蛋。”
??? 这回轮到我傻了，想接着问：“那你爱他吗？”
??? 可又一想，这么问一个被你压在身下的漂亮女孩，那是不是很欠揍？ Besides

, it's better to avoid trouble. You're not even interested in a relationship, so why ask so many questions? Thinking this way, I felt

relieved, and bravely pulled down her shoulder strap… A white, bouncy breast, trembling and surging

with an alluring temptation, was perfectly presented before me.
The budding pink nipple stood delicately erect in the center of the pale areola. My mouth was dry, my breath

was labored , and my uncontrollable, sinful hand reached out and grasped that perfect

object.
Clothes were carelessly tossed aside, and in the moment of skin-to-skin contact, her soft, smooth body, carrying the coolness of the autumn night,

felt like drinking sweet spring water. I dared not breathe loudly, only burying my face between her breasts while tightly embracing her waist,

letting out soft sighs that seemed to come from the depths of my soul.
The room was dark, the computer screen flickering with changing light; night had fallen, and the beauty was like a dream,

ethereal yet real.
I felt her full thighs pressed tightly against my waist, her tension evident. As my hands roamed her

body , I felt her involuntary trembling.
I didn't look at her genitals; I didn't want to be so lewd, afraid she'd hate me. But I could feel how delicate her

skin was, the soft, fine hairs so sparse.
Actually, I was already incredibly hard, but I couldn't bear to treat her roughly. So I gently

caressed her, feeling her body gradually relax, becoming soft and compliant. Her breath grew hotter, her

soft moans seeming to come from another part of her soul.
I felt her lower body gradually becoming wet, her eyes already glazed over. So I slowly entered her

, very gently, yet I still saw her brow furrow, her expression tense. So tight, every inch of entry was

difficult. Just as I was about to go all the way in, I realized I had reached her softest, deepest part.
"Stop, stop..." she pleaded softly and urgently. I dared not continue.
After a while, she caught her breath, less tense, and looked at me apologetically, whispering,

"It's okay, it's alright now, just be gentle."
I held her close; she nestled in my arms like a docile lamb. I slowly and gently entered and exited her

body, her passion gradually igniting.
When she involuntarily tightened her embrace, I responded passionately, lifting her from the bed and

standing beside it, like holding a child. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms tightly around me.
Suddenly, I felt incredibly powerful, so my movements became more vigorous. She let out a deep, seductive

moan and offered her lips. I couldn't hold back any longer and ejaculated, a torrent of pleasure. She was

startled and held me tightly, motionless.
I slumped down, glancing at her shy face, still flushed with passion, feeling deeply remorseful.

"I'm sorry, wait, we'll continue later..." I tried to explain, to ease the awkward situation.
Unexpectedly, she reached out and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her face against my chest, and sighed, "It's alright,

it's already very good..."
I was deeply moved. I hugged her and said many tender words. I'm actually not good at coaxing girls, but for some

reason, the mushy words I would never normally say flowed out like

a river , making me wonder if my mouth was even on my own head.
In the middle of the night, when Liu Xinpeng from next door came shuffling over asking for water, the girl, Achen, was already

dressed and sitting at my computer desk, engrossed in a game, while I was in the kitchen cooking porridge for a late-night snack.

Everything seemed as if nothing had happened.
He was still dazed and drunk, but as he

left , I thought I saw him wink at me. I wasn't sure if I was seeing things

. I believed I was seeing things. He really was drunk.

II. My Ex-Lover
Later, I didn't see A-Chen for a long time. This beautiful girl disappeared like air

, as if she had never appeared in my life. Liu Xinpeng also mentioned her, telling me he hadn't

seen .
"She's not on QQ, maybe she's invisible," he said. He said that after leaving my place that night, they went to

a hotel.
"Guess how many times I ejaculated that day?"
I said listlessly, "Once, I guess."
"Five times!" he said excitedly, "I couldn't get up all morning, my back is about to break."
I glanced at this guy's tall and muscular build, probably over 180 pounds.

I'd seen his penis when we were bathing together at the public bathhouse; even when it wasn't erect, it was more than an inch longer than mine. I couldn't even imagine

what it was like when he was messing with the young girl A-Chen. So I just assumed he was bragging, telling myself he wasn't telling the truth, he

was just bragging.
I told myself I hadn't fallen in love with Achen; she was just someone who passed through my life, appearing

and disappearing.
Life goes on, and no one will do anything for anyone else. Life is a constant repetition, and repetition brings peace and

security—this kind of life suits someone like me. Although occasionally I do wish for some change in life.

Things change, some unusual things happen, I even anticipate them, but I won't pursue them,

I won't try to make them happen. That would make me feel surrounded by danger, making me uneasy. I prefer a stable and

unchanging life, like it is now.
But you can never predict what will happen in the future, you can't even predict what will happen in the next second,

just like I couldn't predict the call from a flashing icon on my QQ.
It was a friend of mine, someone I never knew I had, who stood out among my many female friends

, extending a passionate call to me. "I'm Achen," she introduced herself.
I didn't know she added herself to my friend list when she was using my computer that day. She didn't say anything at the time,

I don't know what this girl was thinking. But I believe she just wanted to be friends with me,

and even thought about being one of her casual sex partners, an idea stemming from Liu Xinpeng's

account of what happened late that night. I can't be sure if what he said was true, or just his wishful thinking, and I'm too

embarrassed to confirm it. So, I was confused and bewildered by Achen's call.
What happened next was still beyond my expectations.
One dark and windy night, I hailed a taxi and pulled Ah Chen, reeking of smoke,

out of a dingy internet cafe. She slicked back her hair, making herself look somewhat presentable, and then clung to my arm.

Back in my apartment, I gently held her, wiping away her slowly flowing tears. She rested her head

on my arm, and I listened as she rambled on about her troubles.
Her boyfriend was her high school classmate's cousin, a small business owner with some money. They

had been dating for over two years since high school. He was initially very good to her, but later his true colors were revealed; he became entangled with some shady

women. Ah Chen's father was a law enforcement official, a leader in his own right. He was usually very strict with Ah Chen, only becoming more independent after
she went to university . Ah Chen, of course, couldn't stand her boyfriend's behavior and argued with him several times, but to no avail. When things got really bad, he disappeared, leaving Ah Chen with no choice but to give in. But this girl was spoiled and arrogant by nature, and she felt very unbalanced. That guy was quite good at making girls happy; he would buy Ah Chen things whenever he had free time, buying expensive things without batting an eye. He also took Ah Chen everywhere, even driving his Q7 to Yunnan last summer. It was clear he cared a lot about Ah Chen. This made the girl very conflicted and conflicted; she couldn't bear to give up the relationship, yet she could n't accept that bastard's promiscuity. She couldn't control him, and she couldn't let go. So she tormented herself. 　　I understood; I had taken advantage of her vulnerability, exploiting her weakness—truly shameless. Ashamed , yet unable to let go of the delicate girl in my arms, I could only pretend to comfort her, taking the opportunity to grope her . In the heat of passion, we became one. This time, I performed exceptionally well, fighting continuously for nearly three hours, until dawn, when I finally erupted for the third time amidst the girl's pleas for mercy. Then, two lost young souls found solace in each other's company, two young bodies embraced, and they fell asleep comforting one another. 　　From that day on, I became this girl's scapegoat. Every few days, she would come to me to complain, always about her scoundrel boyfriend. My duty was to listen, but I never offered her any advice. This was because I adhered to the principle of "better to tear down a temple than to break up a marriage." I always cursed that guy as a bastard, but I never advised them to break up. At the same time, I didn't try to reconcile them, because in my opinion, that guy was simply not good enough for our A-Chen. Who knows how A-Chen became so infatuated with that guy. It was truly a love-hate relationship, a mix of both… Thinking about this, I suddenly understood something: isn't this what they call love? I've heard people say that love and hate are always intertwined. So, A-Chen loves her boyfriend; that 's an indisputable fact! 　　After discovering this fact, I suddenly felt inexplicably depressed. All the gods and Buddhas in the sky vanished, leaving only a wisp of listless cloud. I realized that behind this fact lay my nefarious and unspeakable plans; deep down, I had feelings for the girl . Realizing this, I was shocked by myself. This was too much! It couldn't be possible . But I knew that I was secretly hoping for that impossible "what if." If A-Chen knew my true feelings, she would definitely ignore me. If Liu Xinpeng found out, I would never be able to face him again. That guy still didn't know that the vanished A-Chen had reappeared. 　　I felt like I was falling into a dangerous vortex and needed to escape quickly, or my future would be bleak . Just as I was racking my brains for a way out, the little avatar on QQ started flashing and beckoning me again. "Brother, I don't have homework this weekend, where should we go?" 　　As it turned out, that afternoon we went to a dimly lit dance hall. Amidst the frenetic music, I watched in astonishment as the well-behaved girl, Chen, transformed into a wildly energetic disco dancer. I had never witnessed such incredible flexibility in her body. Our few times of making love had always been in dim lighting, and each time she would hide in my arms, enjoying my endless caresses, making her seem like such a sweet, innocent girl. In the dance hall, she climbed onto the stage, unleashing a series of dazzling spins, splits, and incredible twists and turns, eliciting screams and cheers from the entire audience! She had never told me she had received excellent dance training since childhood, but at that moment, even though I'm dance illiterate, I could tell she was the best dancer there, without a doubt. 　　That evening, after showering, I held the shy girl from behind in bed, breathing into her ear, my hands caressing her full, soft breasts, softly praising her dance moves and her body. Then, as she turned to me with a satisfied smile, I took one of her beautiful legs in my arms. She obediently lifted her leg, higher and higher, until her tiny toes were close to her ear. My heart pounded wildly. She wouldn't let me turn on the overhead light, only allowing me to use a dim desk lamp each time, and even during the day, she would draw the curtains. Deep down, she was a shy girl. Even so, her physical presence was still intense.

The stimulation was intense; I felt myself trembling, and my penis seemed harder and thicker than usual, igniting my

lust .
That night, I was so ecstatic. She kept performing unexpected and difficult moves, making my

blood boil unable to control myself. Seeing my astonished expression, she couldn't help but cover her mouth and laugh, then

moaned and cried out amidst my vigorous movements.
In the morning, after she left, I lay in bed for a long time. I knew I had fallen. I

had fallen into this young girl's emotional trap. From now on, if she said east, I would go east; if she said west, I

would go west.

III. Indulgence
I had no confidence in this relationship. Because I didn't know if I had a place in her heart.

I knew her bastard boyfriend had hurt her deeply, but he had also given her many things—yes, many things, perhaps

feelings, or even love, I didn't know.
What I couldn't understand was how you could love someone and then hurt her; it didn't make sense. So I

don't think that guy really loves Achen. But he did buy Achen a lot of things—expensive bags, jewelry,

necklaces, and things like that. Things I couldn't afford. I felt like an idiot, a poor wretch.

How could be worthy of her?
??? So I became very self-destructive and for a while deliberately avoided her, making her very unhappy. But she

didn't seem to care much; she just let it go after her anger subsided, without arguing or making a scene, which made me feel even more lost.
During the Spring Festival, my workplace had a long holiday, and I used my accumulated annual leave to go back to my hometown for the New Year.
??? My parents introduced me to someone—an accountant at a state-owned enterprise. She was very honest and

good-looking . I didn't say yes or no; I wanted to see how things went, but I was still thinking about Achen, so I had some reservations.

We would occasionally call each other, go out for a meal, see a movie, etc. When we held hands, I

felt a little uneasy. The girl was very generous, not in a hurry, and seemed very patient. She listened to my

rambling and didn't argue with me. Occasionally, we'd talk about topics she was interested in. I felt she was incredibly well-read, practically

knowledgeable about everything from astronomy to geography. I guessed she might have met someone formidable. Marrying her would be a disaster.
After the holiday, back in Beijing, when I contacted Achen, she always seemed very busy. I asked, "Are you back

with your boyfriend?" She said, "How could that be? He almost made me jump off a building the other day." I said, "Don't be like that

. Tell me what's wrong." She said, "Didn't you go back to your hometown to find a partner?" I was shocked. She even knew that? Later

, I found out she used my QQ account to access my social media profile and saw my hidden stuff… That's terrifying!
I called her to ask her out, but she said she was busy. I joked, "Did you find another male confidant?"

She said, "Find what? You guys are all the same." I said, "But there are exceptions." She didn't say anything for a while,

then finally said, "I had dinner with Liu Xinpeng the other day."
My heart skipped a beat, and I blurted out, "What happens after dinner?" She didn't answer and hung up.
I felt utterly dejected, as if something had stabbed me in the heart, a dull ache throbbing within me,

making me incredibly agitated. I went to find Liu Xinpeng, and when I saw him, I said, "Let's go, I'll treat you to drinks." He happily

followed me to a small restaurant for a few drinks.
After a few drinks, he told me, with a sly look, that he had recently seen that girl, Achen. He looked into my

eyes, watching my reaction. I was prepared, so I just grunted and looked back. He stared for a while, then said he'd noticed

that girl had been acting strangely lately, meeting up with several people she met online.
I asked how he knew, and he said he'd hacked her account, but hadn't done anything, just looked at her chat history.

I said, "Don't be so sure," and he swore it was absolutely true.
I laughed and said, "Even if it's true, it's not illegal." I added, "But hacking accounts is illegal." This

shameless guy said, "If you don't tell her, she won't know.
" Coincidentally, his phone rang at that moment. He looked at the number, laughed, and said, "Speak of the devil,

and he appears!" So he told Achen that he was drinking with me. Then he said "oh" twice and hung up, telling me

Achen to come over later.
I was puzzled. Why didn't she come when I called her earlier? Was she coming for this guy
? A little while later, Achen arrived, her eyes red, clearly having been crying. When I asked, she said she had been

having dinner with her boyfriend and his colleagues. One of her boyfriend's female colleagues was at the table, and she knew that the woman was having an affair with her

boyfriend , but she had been holding back. Later, seeing them getting more and more out of line after drinking, even

flirting, she couldn't help but complain a few times, and her boyfriend scolded her. She ended up running away crying, feeling humiliated.
Liu Xinpeng and I were furious and wanted to confront that guy. Just then, Achen's phone rang. It turned out

her boyfriend was worried something had happened to her and was looking for her everywhere. In her anger, she simply hung up the phone. Immediately afterward,

other people from her boyfriend's company called one after another. Helpless, she had to tell one of them that she

was fine and having dinner with friends at xxx restaurant.
Less than ten minutes later, two cars pulled up outside, and a group of men and women rushed in.
It was actually the first time I'd met Achen's boyfriend. He was a rather composed young man, neither particularly handsome nor

unattractive. He immediately apologized to Achen, then humbly told her to go home, promising

to make amends .
Achen was still angry. She glanced at me and Liu Xinpeng, who swaggered over and said, "

How treat our Achen like that? Next time something like this happens, don't say I didn't warn you; I won't be

so polite today.
" One of the guys with them, wearing a plaid shirt, protested, rolling up his sleeves and saying, "How dare you

talk to our boss like that? How can you be so disrespectful?"
I was furious too, so I threw a beer in the guy's face. He was quick; he punched

me in the stomach, and I collapsed, unable to catch my breath. As I was being slammed onto the table, I saw

Liu Xinpeng, that big oaf, being pinned down on another table by Achen's boyfriend.
Achen, who had been sitting there silently, snorted, grabbed her bag, and started to leave. They

kicked me a couple of times, and then the group followed Achen out.
This was incredibly embarrassing, but Liu Xinpeng, being thick-skinned and carefree, didn't seem to mind and

could still sit down and continue drinking. I wasn't as shameless as him, and I felt a bit embarrassed. He tried to comfort me, saying that Achen

had also cheated on that guy quite a bit, so we weren't at a loss. I sensed something was off about him, but I couldn't argue, so I just drank with

him in silence. It was so frustrating.
My relationship with Achen remained lukewarm, while my relationship with the female accountant at home was

progressing .
One day, the accountant said her company was sending people to a meeting in Beijing, and she was one of them. I said, "Great! When are you

coming?" She said, "Tomorrow afternoon." I said, "Let's have some noodles this afternoon, and I'll treat you to dinner tonight." She said, "Okay.
" So, I took the next day off from work and then went out to buy a shirt after work. I'd been looking

rather sloppy lately, without a decent set of clothes.
As I was leaving the company, I received a call from Achen, asking me to go to a bar with her. I told her that the place was

too , and I couldn't afford it. She said it was okay, she would treat me, but I said that wouldn't be right. Later, I

couldn't resist her sweet talk and gave in .
We drank until midnight, and when we got back to my place, it had been a long time since we'd done "that," so naturally

, we had a lot of sweet nothings. After a long night, I opened my eyes the next day to find the sun already high in the sky, and Achen was still

nestled beside me like a kitten, not yet awake.
I rubbed my eyes, thinking about yesterday's events, and the more I thought about it, the more something seemed off. Achen and her

boyfriend hadn't broken up, so why was she always coming to my place? Could it be that this girl was wavering, considering

choosing between me and her boyfriend? I didn't dare think about it anymore, so I told myself not to get my hopes up.
Recalling what she had been muttering about her boyfriend's recent affairs while we were drinking yesterday,

I felt quite sorry for this young woman.
As I furtively tried to sneak a touch on her body in the morning light, she woke up,

swatted my hand away, turned around with a sweet smile, and said, "Brother, I'm awake." Then she added, "Brother,

I'm hungry."
So I had no choice but to scramble up and prepare breakfast.
She got up with a smile, washed up, and got dressed. While eating breakfast, I suddenly had a pang of conscience and advised

her , "Don't argue with your husband anymore; he's actually quite good to you.
" She rolled her eyes at me and said, "What, you're tired of playing around? Want to dump me?"
I said, "How about we get together?" She laughed and said, "If you buy a house and a car in Beijing, then we can be together." I said, "

That'll be a long time coming." She laughed for a while and said, "Actually, he's not a bad person. He's

much . I know he's sincere, but I just hate how much of a womanizer he is. Now he doesn't

even hide it from me when he's seeing other women. I don't know how much longer I can hold out."
As she spoke, tears welled up in her eyes. I was speechless, stammering for a long time.
Suddenly, I remembered the female accountant was coming that afternoon, so I said, "Come with me to buy some clothes later."
She said okay, then asked curiously, "Why do you suddenly need to buy clothes?" I said someone from my hometown was coming,

and she smiled and asked, "Is your boyfriend coming over?"
I was truly speechless. How can women be so perceptive?
I touched my nose and said yes, then blurted out a particularly annoying question: "How about we

have dinner together tonight?" Then, I saw A-Chen's face turn pale, and she stopped eating, staring blankly.
I realized I had said the wrong thing. I really knew how to rub salt in the wound. After sitting for a while, A-Chen composed herself,

got up, put on her clothes, grabbed her bag, and left.
Two hours later, she came back with four shirts, forcing me to try them all on. She picked out

the one she liked best and said, "Wear this one." I had no choice but to obey.
That evening, dinner with the female accountant was rather unappetizing. Luckily, I was well-prepared, and after dinner, I accompanied her shopping in

Xidan. Then I took her back to her hotel. The female accountant politely thanked me.
I said, "We're practically family now, why are you thanking me?" Even the shrewd and capable female accountant blushed slightly and

turned to go inside.
I asked myself, what do I mean? Is this a confession?
A few days after the female accountant left, Achen came to visit me again, chatting with someone on QQ on my computer, barely paying attention

to me. I felt guilty, so I deliberately stayed close to her, watching her chat with others. When she saw me coming, whether

intentionally or not, she started talking about explicit topics with the other person.
I adopted a magnanimous attitude, watching with a smile. She became increasingly unrestrained in her QQ

chat, even arranging to meet someone at a hotel. The other party replied immediately and asked her to wait a moment for

the room number. I was a little nervous, but she seemed very relaxed, not taking it seriously at all.
A few minutes later, the other party sent the hotel and room number, along with a photo of a man who

looked to be in his thirties. She arranged to meet him two hours later and then logged off.
I asked her if she was really going to keep the appointment. She said that if you make an appointment, you have to keep it; how can a person be

untrustworthy? I said, "You don't even know who he is? That's dangerous." She said, "How do you know I don't

know ?
" I was stunned and didn't know how to answer. She smiled and said, "Why don't you come with me?"
I was stunned. Even after she walked out the door, I still hadn't recovered. Was she getting revenge? I was furious.

Who was she getting revenge on? Was it me? Or her boyfriend? Maybe all men? All the men who disappointed and broke her?

Should I blame her? Can I blame her? What right do I have to blame her? Which of us men hasn't done

bad things and broken women's hearts? When I faced the female accountant, was I

any ?
But I really cared. I couldn't help imagining Achen and that old man in bed. I

suddenly　　 like crying. I felt so useless. I felt this world was both crazy and hopeless.

IV. Despair
Before May Day, I got engaged to the female accountant. I took leave to go back to my hometown, and both sets of parents met and

were quite satisfied.
My family plans to arrange the wedding next year. After the wedding, I will leave Beijing and go back to my hometown to find a job. I

didn't dare tell Achen in person, so I mentioned the engagement on QQ. She replied, wishing us happiness. She also said...

She said things like "may you have a son soon." Then I said, "I hope you guys order soon too.
" She said she'd wait until she graduated from university, that it was still a long time. Then she disappeared. I didn't hear

from , and she rarely answered my calls. When she did, she'd say a few indifferent words and hang up.
About two months passed like this. One day she came to see me, and I almost didn't recognize her. She had dyed

her hair several colors, wore a leather jacket, a ridiculously short denim skirt, and heavy makeup.

She looked like a little vixen, holding a long, thin cigarette and blowing smoke rings in my face.
I said, "What's wrong with a young girl like you looking like this?"
She replied defiantly, "Do you care what I do? If you did, I'd listen to you."
I sensed something was off in her words and felt discouraged. I softened and said, "Okay, little sister, I won't bother you anymore."

Seeing my deflated state, she lost her edge too. After a while, she washed off her makeup, reverting to her original

innocent self.
She sat in front of my computer, playing games endlessly. I could tell she was in a bad mood, so I asked her

if argued with her boyfriend again. She frowned and said, "Don't mention him, he's so annoying."
I asked what was wrong. She hesitated for a moment, then said, "He took a bunch of people from his company to Hainan for a vacation."
I said, "Isn't that great? Why didn't you go?"
She said, "He has two or three girlfriends, I didn't want to get involved." I was speechless.
After a while, she asked if I was still living in Beijing after getting married. I said houses in Beijing were too expensive,

I couldn't afford one, and I was going back to my hometown. She didn't say anything after that and went back to chatting on QQ.
After a while, she said she had an appointment and had to leave. I asked her where she was going? She looked at me without speaking, and my

heart sank. "Can't you not go?"
"What do you think?"
I couldn't answer. She came over and smiled at me, saying, "Why don't you come with me?"
I said, "Don't go." She said, "Fine, don't come with me then."
I tried to pull her away, but she shook me off, looking at me with a strange gaze. I was embarrassed and at a loss for words.
Her gaze softened as she looked at me, and she took my hand, whispering, "Come with me. There are two

of them , and I'm a little scared."
I panicked and said, "You're scared, but you're still going? No, you can't go!"
She looked at me with that cold gaze again and said, "I didn't expect you to be even more timid than me." Then she turned

and left .
I followed her like a coward, hailed a taxi, and we didn't speak the whole way. I

was angry and anxious, but there was nothing I could do. I could only follow her, thinking that I had to protect her no matter what.
When we arrived at the hotel, a four-star one, I followed her into the elevator.

We found the room number in the corridor on the designated floor. At the door, I could tell she was a little nervous. She hesitated for a moment, but then resolutely

walked over and rang the doorbell.
The door opened, and a man with gleaming eyes came over and ushered her inside. I quickly followed.

It was a suite, very luxurious. I noticed two black police uniforms hanging on the coat rack; I hadn't expected them to be

police officers. My heart pounded.
Entering the living room, another strong, muscular man came out. Their actions and demeanor gave

me a chilling feeling, like being in a room with tigers and leopards from an animal documentary.
The two men led Ah Chen to the sofa, ignoring me.
I stood not far from the door, figuring out how to escape easily, when I saw one of the men

already had his arm around Ah Chen's waist, the other's hand on her leg, and his lips almost touching her face. Just as I

was about to speak, I saw a man cup Achen's face in his hands and kiss her lips.
My heart stopped abruptly; that moment felt like an eternity. I wanted to scream, but

no sound came out. I wanted to rush over, but no matter what I did, I couldn't move a step, as if I were nailed to the spot, unable

to take a single step. Blood rushed to my head, and the sound of blood rushing through my brain was deafening. Deep inside,

it was as if a door to the darkest place had been suddenly opened a crack, letting in a dark, ancient, and

profound light.
When they pulled off Achen's clothes, I saw her body visibly tremble. Then, one after the

other, they lifted her up and walked towards the bathroom, undressing her without restraint as they went. The two men moved

swiftly , and by the time they reached the bathroom door, she was completely naked, along with their own clothes.
A man scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom. Another man followed, closing the door behind him,

but then pushed it open halfway, poking his head out and saying to me, "Little brother, come on in." He
then went inside, leaving me standing there dumbfounded, staring at the half-open, frosted glass bathroom door.
The sound of running water and playful laughter came from inside. The man's voice was like a wild beast, the girl's voice

like a sweet, ethereal melody.
At that moment, two things became clear to me.
First, I was powerless to do anything about it. I couldn't beat those two clearly trained police officers—they were

probably ten years older than me and had ten times my fighting experience—nor could I call the police to arrest them,

because they were police officers, possibly even their superiors.
Second, neither she nor I were in any real danger. What they did to her was nothing more than

the most common thing in human history.
But the problem was that I couldn't accept it at all. I couldn't imagine what would happen next.

Would they hurt her? Would they abuse her? Unsure of myself, I mustered my courage and went over,

pushing open the bathroom door and stepping inside.
The scene before me, so close at hand, instantly froze me.
Water was spraying from the showerhead, but the three soaking wet people weren't there.

On the large, pure black marble sink, Ah Chen sat, one man with one arm around her waist and the other cupping

one of her breasts, kissing her. Another man had spread her legs and was kneeling down, taking advantage of her

genitals .
I stared blankly at them; less than a meter away from me, Ah Chen's snow-white, soft skin was visible against the black...

The marble floor was dazzling against the light, and the decadent atmosphere was breathtaking.
Ah Chen glanced at me sideways, then kicked me with a wet foot, almost between my legs.

Completely instinctively, I grabbed her ankle and clung to her.
I forgot to take off my clothes, oblivious to the fact that they were clinging to my skin.
I was as intoxicated by her body as they were. They looked at me, seemingly laughing. One went to

the shower rinse, while another lathered Ah Chen with shower gel

. As Ah Chen was being lathered in the man's arms, she still managed to help me take off my t-shirt and pants.
Only then did I realize my disheveled state. I quickly stripped off my clothes and threw them on the ground outside.
When I returned, Ah Chen was sandwiched between two men. Four men's hands,

lubricated by the bath soap, roamed over her smooth skin. Their bodies pressed tightly against hers, their erect penises

rubbing against her lower abdomen and buttocks. She was clearly unable to contain her arousal, shyly covering her private

parts with her hands.
The men pulled her under the showerhead to rinse her off, and soon she was clean. The two men pulled her to sit on the edge of

the bathtub , one on each side, praising her skin and beauty. They kissed her as they praised,

complimenting every part of her body, their mouths following wherever their compliments went.
She laughed, panted, and tried to resist, but her hands were held by two men, one on each side, making it

impossible to resist their advances. As their mouths bit her neck, waist, and thighs, her moans

grew louder, and her body gradually went limp in their arms.
An older man beckoned to me and said in a deep voice, "Brother, come closer."
I took a few steps forward and noticed that Ah Chen's body seemed to be twitching slightly.
The man who spoke to me reached out and lifted Ah Chen's soft, rounded chin so she could see me.

I saw that her eyes seemed to be misty. She blinked, as if she could see me clearly, and

a hint of .
The man brought his mouth close to her ear and said with a smile, "You brought this kid here so he could watch how

the uncles play with his little wife, didn't you?"
Her face flushed instantly. She frowned, bit her lower lip, and struggled to cover her

high breasts with her arms.
The two men laughed when they saw this. They pulled her arms back, then each of them reached out

and cupped one of her breasts. One eagerly lunged forward, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking

hard , half of the breast was in his mouth. The other followed suit, taking her other

breast into his mouth.
I felt a surge of heat rise from my lower abdomen. I could almost see the girl's soft nipple and areola intertwined with the man's

tongue in his mouth…
Her dazed gaze shifted from my face, following my gaze to her own breasts, now exposed, and to the two

hungry men, the one biting her. Her body trembled violently, letting out a

low moan that was both sorrow and joy.
One man pulled the limp girl into his arms, while the other lifted her legs.

The large bathtub overflowed with water, revealing two experienced, cunning, and powerful men and

a beautiful girl struggling. The low, wild laughter, the soft moans and curses, made me, standing outside,

feel utterly ashamed.
I fled outside in a disheveled state, threw on a bath towel, grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the coffee table, shakily pulled

one , struck a match with trembling hands, lit it, and took a deep drag. Listening to the sounds coming from inside, rising and

falling, my heart felt like a jumbled mess of emotions, indescribable.
After a while, there was no more sound. Then, the younger man came out, followed by an older

man carrying Ah Chen, who was wrapped in a bath towel.
The younger man beckoned to me, gesturing for me to follow him into the spacious bedroom.

The man carrying Ah Chen entered, and the other man ripped the bath towel off Ah Chen, then threw her onto

the bed. She rolled over, but before she could get up, the two men pounced on her.
Although the overhead light was a soft, golden glow, I had never seen Ah Chen

naked . I realized she was even more beautiful than I had imagined. After her initial panic, she gave up resisting and

struggling . Under my gaze, as the two men spread her legs by her knees, the blush on her face

spread all the way to her neck and chest. Helplessly, she covered her face with her small hands.
When the first, larger man penetrated her, she was almost constantly tense, her body barely reacting,

biting her lip and remaining silent. Only at the very end, as the man thrust, did she slightly open her mouth and let out

an uncontrollable moan.
When the man ejaculated inside her, her hands gripped the man's arms tightly, almost leaving handprints.

As the man withdrew, I saw her thin, pink labia minora, pulled

out , softly curled outwards, dripping with the man's semen.
The other, younger man immediately took his place; it was clear he couldn't wait any longer. His penis was white,

but thicker and longer than the other man's. After he penetrated her, the girl let out a soft moan, then trembled

and climaxed. How could a girl just turned 18 withstand such torment and stimulation? The moment a second

man entered her body, she completely surrendered.
Her body involuntarily shivered from the stimulation, her lower abdomen contracting rhythmically.

The young man lowered his head and kissed her lips; she responded, offering her tongue for him to suckle.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and then, during a series of rapid thrusts, she tilted her head back, her eyes rolling, letting out

a plaintive moan.
I was the last one to enter. When I entered her, she was completely lost in the moment. Her

vagina contracted repeatedly, making penetration much more difficult. I felt both pleasure and pain from her grip, but she was

no .
Under the dim light, I fucked her with abandon for the first time, relentlessly pounding and ravaging her.

He held her close, kneading her beautiful breasts forcefully for the first time, and like the other two men, wantonly licking and biting

her tender skin. Under the flickering light, the wanton scene was laid bare.

V. Torture
As midnight approached, things stopped; it was time to catch our breath.
Suddenly feeling hungry, everyone went to shower. The older men suggested going for a late-night snack, so

we dressed , tidied ourselves up a bit, and went to the second-floor restaurant to order a few simple dishes.
Ah Chen sat beside me, head down, slowly sipping a small bowl of porridge. One of the younger men

sat next to her, occasionally striking up a conversation.
These two seemed experienced; they tactfully avoided asking about our personal situations, only complimenting Ah Chen's

youthful beauty. No matter what they said, Ah Chen remained silent, at most glancing at them politely.
After dinner, back in the room, the two men, before even sitting down, began groping Ah Chen.
Achen was displeased and turned to leave, but the older man grabbed her,

tearing Achen cursed and raised her hand to slap the man across the face.
Unexpectedly, the man was quick, grabbing Achen's wrist. He twisted her arm

behind her back, then swiftly grabbed her other hand, twisting both behind her back as well. He leaned close to her ear and

laughed , "Didn't expect you to be so wild."
Another younger man joined in, grabbing one of Achen's collars and ripping it open,

revealing a section of her white arm and half a breast.
The older man standing behind Achen grabbed both her wrists with one large hand, freeing the other to reach

forward and pull her chin up and back, forcing her head tilted upwards and backwards until her

forehead touched his chest. He then lowered his head and kissed her lips.
Her beautiful neck was long and exposed, and because her arms were twisted behind her back and her head was tilted back,

her breasts were raised high. The young man tore them open with both hands, and her two full breasts bounced out like rabbits,

trembling slightly in front of the two men.
The young man put his arm around the girl's already naked waist, grabbed one breast in each hand, and then put

the other in his mouth. The older man kissed the girl's mouth, face, eyes, chin, and neck wantonly.

The way Ah Chen looked with her neck being bitten was just like a snow-white lamb hunted by a wild beast.
In this sudden and brief moment, I stood frozen in the middle of the room, completely unprepared. I

did , and, incredibly, I became shamelessly hard. I just watched them ravage the powerless girl,

stripping her clothes off until she was completely naked. Then they twisted her hands behind her back and pushed her down onto the bed.
I completely lost the ability to think, like a primitive animal, completely driven by instinct, and

joined them in gang raping Ah Chen. The three of us surrounded the girl, wantonly violating her body.
I watched closely as A-Chen knelt by the window, her arms pulled back, her upper body arched, completely exposing herself to

the man before her. Her delicate skin was kissed and bitten, leaving light-colored marks, saliva, and bodily fluids.
The older man held A-Chen's face, greedily sucking and licking. A-Chen closed her eyes, resignedly

submitting to his actions. I stroked A-Chen's sweaty waist and buttocks, dazzlingly white. The younger man

was entering her from behind, a few fine hairs at the vaginal opening being pulled in and out with each thrust of his thick penis.
The man continued for a long time, then turned A-Chen over, making her lie on her back. He held her

knees and penetrated her from the front. A-Chen turned her face to the side in resistance, biting her lower lip to refuse to

respond . The younger man thrust vigorously for a while longer, still unable to make her surrender. Suddenly ,
I remembered something: when I was making love with Achen, she never let me touch her feet.

If I did, she would laugh uncontrollably and cry out that they tickled, so I wouldn't dare move.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but glance at her two soft, white feet resting on the man's shoulders. I reached out and grabbed

one ankle, kissing it.
Achen let out a soft cry, trying to pull her foot back, but she was already exhausted from the ordeal, her feeble

struggles more like symbolic wriggling.
I cruelly licked the sole of her foot, and her entire thigh trembled. "No…" she

began to plead.
The man thrusting into her saw her wavering and inner turmoil, and thrust even more vigorously. The older

man also saw the girl's weakness, grabbing her other foot from the other side and biting her petal-like

, plump toes.
Achen's body convulsed uncontrollably, she put a small hand in her mouth, but couldn't hide

the ; her expression was a mixture of crying and laughing. After we bit her soles and insteps a few times

, she finally let out a low, high-pitched moan from deep within her throat. Her body arched violently, then relaxed,

and then convulsed rhythmically a dozen times, slowly but powerfully.
This orgasm almost exhausted her; her eyes became blurry, and her body felt like soft

dough . After completely surrendering, she was utterly resigned to her fate.
When it was my turn to enter Ah Chen's body, she was soaked in sweat, indistinguishable

between her own and the other two men's bodily fluids.
She was still immersed in wave after wave of orgasms, unable to extricate herself. My hands caressed her waist, her

breasts , her neck, and her cheeks. Her tender skin was wet and even smoother.
Her vagina contracted rhythmically, making it difficult for my penis to enter. I finally managed

to squeeze in little by little, then enjoyed her warm grip and the throbbing contractions.
This insane crime captivated me, stirring up the dark, primal impulses deep within me.

I was intoxicated by this violation, thrusting wildly, watching the two men fondle and tease Ah Chen

, which only fueled my lust.
It seemed like an eternity, yet also like a fleeting moment. The older man released his grip on Ah Chen's neck,

his other hand loosening its hold on her breast. I continued my relentless thrusting, Ah Chen's breasts trembling

and heaving with each stroke.
The older man, growing impatient, squeezed in. Reluctantly, I pulled out, my erect glans twitching a few times as

I withdrew .
The older man, indeed impatient, hoisted A-Chen's legs onto his shoulders, gripped her waist, and thrust in. A-Chen

cried out, her small feet kicking weakly against his shoulders.
The older man, with renewed vigor, pressed and thrust, perhaps too forcefully, for in no time he had pushed her from the

middle the other edge. A-Chen's head dangled limply off the edge, her beautiful

straight hair almost touching the carpet.
I went over, looked down, and saw her dazed eyes, her slightly parted mouth still uttering soft moans

, a trickle of saliva running down her cheek.
I gently stroked her soft, pink lips, then lightly kissed them. I stood up,

poked my swollen, purplish-red glans at her lips, smeared it with her saliva, and then slowly pushed it into her mouth. She

whimpered , swallowing with difficulty, licking it with her tongue. I continued deeper, feeling myself reach her throat. Her

head was tilted back towards me, chin up, her snow-white neck twitching as if she were struggling to swallow.

A surge of heat rose in my groin, and I cruelly continued thrusting in.
I saw a bulge at the back of her throat; I knew it was my penis, so I thrust again until

a section bulged on her neck. I touched her neck and felt that it was indeed my penis inside.

Then I pulled out, and the bulge disappeared instantly. I thrust in again, pulled out, and thrust in again
… The old man also saw this scene. His eyes widened, he panted heavily, and forcefully pounded into Ah Chen's

lower body. Her body was squeezed, pounded, and trembled under the attack from both ends, her small mouth, stuffed with my penis, emitting

muffled whimpers.
Her two small feet, raised high in the air, swayed weakly under the impact, as if declaring surrender and begging for

mercy. I reached out and grasped one of her breasts, while my other hand gripped her soft, rounded chin. I thrust a few more

times, finally ejaculating into her throat. I felt my semen shoot directly down her throat; she swallowed with difficulty

. I withdrew my penis, leaving the head in her mouth for a moment, which she weakly sucked on. I pulled out

, a few drops of white semen falling onto the corner of her mouth.
I took a few steps back, slumped onto the sofa, and panted for a while, feeling utterly exhausted. It was already

past midnight , and my already weak body had been abnormally aroused for most of the night under such intense stimulation.
Exhaustion and weariness washed over me; I could barely get up. I grabbed a blanket and collapsed onto the sofa, drifting off to sleep.

On the bed, two tireless beasts were still ravaging Ah Chen. I watched for a while, then couldn't open my eyes anymore.
In the morning, a ray of sunlight shone through the gap in the not-quite-closed curtains, falling on my face, and I woke up.

It was like a dream. In the dream, I was running with Ah Chen through a desolate, silent street, not knowing where we were going, yet

feeling an inescapable necessity.
I shook my head violently, taking in the room's surroundings. Last night's scene flashed before my eyes. I looked at the bed;

on the large double bed, Ah Chen slept between two men. One man slept soundly, while the other had his arm around Ah Chen

's waist, one of Ah Chen's plump, snow-white thighs exposed.
I quietly got up, put on my clothes, and left silently.
What will tomorrow bring? I have no idea.

[The End
]

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