[Those things that happened over the years]

A few days ago, I saw an article by Riruyue on a dating website titled "West Lake Tomb" (it turns out Riruyue

had already joined Wenxing a long time ago, haha). He recounted his relationship with "Lili," and I felt compelled to write something similar. I've also

had many things buried deep in my heart throughout my life, but thankfully, the virtual world of the internet allows me to

freely express my experiences and insights.

My story begins eight years ago. My first marriage came quickly; not long after I started working, I fell in love with Wen

and we eventually got married. Undeniably, marrying Wen drew envious glances from colleagues and friends

. Wen was a beautiful girl; while not stunningly beautiful, she was certainly among the most attractive. I thought that

with such a lovely wife by my side, life would be incredibly happy. I guessed the beginning correctly, but I never expected the ending.

Wen was the kind of girl who was "very beautiful," but marriage can't be sustained by just "looks.

" The wedding night is supposed to be one of life's four great joys, but I found myself in a crisis. Wen was a very pure and upright girl

. In our relationship, I always followed the "traditional" route (I didn't understand back then). Holding hands, kissing,

sitting on my lap—that was all. Occasionally, I'd find an opportunity to pat her chest or buttocks, and Wen would glare at me and stop me.

I knew Wen was a bit of a germaphobe, but I just thought it was okay for a girl to be clean…

On our wedding night, Wen wasn't averse to sex. When she appeared naked before me, I was captivated once again.

She was absolutely beautiful, absolutely worth my exhaustion. But what happened afterward wasn't as good as I'd imagined.

Wen first made me wash myself thoroughly, then told me not to touch anything else before getting into bed. I

could tolerate all of this, especially since Wen readily embraced me and let me kiss and caress her. However, when I

curiously tried to part her legs to admire her beauty, Wen politely refused

. Trying to kiss her there was out of the question; perhaps Wen was an inexperienced girl, a little shy about that area.

So, I could only do it under the covers, and Wen cooperated by moaning softly…

I was still a naive young man, and seeing my wife so excited, I got

carried away and perhaps didn't control my strength, rubbing her vaginal opening a few times. Suddenly, Wen seemed like a different person,

angrily stopping me and shoving my hands away. I wanted to hug her and comfort her, but then I heard Wen

sobbing

… My wedding night turned out like this: a complete failure, and I even faced criticism from Wen

. She cried because she felt I didn't cherish her, that I was too rough with her, and that I treated her like a plaything. I was speechless!

I had thought it was just the adjustment period of newlyweds, and that things would get better after a while. Wen is a very good girl; except

for that aspect, she demonstrated everything an excellent wife should do. Because of what happened on our wedding night,

we had a cold war for two nights. On the third day, I took the initiative to beg for forgiveness, and Wen just laughed it off. The second time we resumed our marital relations

, I was much more careful. Wen still wouldn't let me look closely or

kiss her there, but that didn't bother me much because she was very cooperative in other ways. She even learned to playfully press her breasts against mine. I tried my best

to remain gentle, but another mistake occurred unintentionally. During our intimate encounter, my penis couldn't find its way, and I,

sweating profusely, just kept thrusting forward. Wen cried out in pain. I thought all girls felt that way when they lost their virginity,

so I didn't pay much attention. But after a few times, Wen couldn't take it anymore and pushed me off her…

After two failures, I became wary of our marital relationship. Although Wen and I often had cold

wars, we were like any couple who argued and made up quickly. Wen tried her best to repair our relationship, and she genuinely cared

… She was very sexually aroused, and two days later she took the initiative to make love. I wanted to start in the living room, but Wen insisted on taking a shower in the bedroom

before we could begin. My anger had already subsided. After showering and getting into bed, I casually used the TV remote to change a few

channels, but Wen insisted that I wash my hands first. I was a little annoyed, but I endured it

. I went to the bathroom and deliberately made some water noise to finish. Back in bed, Wen was very gentle, but I was plunged into the most terrifying crisis for a man—

I had impotence.

Wen and I didn't want our marriage to become a sexless one, but Wen insisted on her principles and bottom

lines: 1. Sex is pure and can only be done in the bedroom; 2. Cleanliness must be maintained, and hands cannot touch

any unrelated objects; 3. The genitals cannot be parted to look; 4. The mouth cannot kiss the genitals. These are the four bottom lines I've summarized for

Wen, and they are absolutely not to be crossed!

I borrowed a few adult video VCDs from a friend and downloaded a bunch of pornographic photos online,

hoping to improve my relationship with Wen. But when I excitedly set up the VCDs, ready to

enjoy them with Wen, she flew into a rage again. She called me a pervert, saying only perverts watch that kind of stuff.

Then she asked where the VCDs came from, which friend I borrowed them from, and that I couldn't associate with them anymore! I

regretted honestly telling her who I borrowed the VCDs from. From that moment on, Wen stopped

talking to my friend (except for greetings). If I went out and she found out I was with that friend, she

would strongly object... From then on, I felt like crying.

My arguments with Wen became more and more frequent, and we started to get used to sleeping in separate beds. When I was in a bad mood,

I would stubbornly refuse to wipe my hands, or sit on the bed in my outer clothes (a big no-no, at

best I'd have to change the sheets, at worst another big fight). Wen would always point to the small room and say, "Go sleep there!"

Then she would inexplicably cry, as if she had suffered a great injustice, but I think I was the one who felt wronged!

At first, I would get angry when Wen asked me to sleep in the small room, but later I was happy about it, and from then on I learned to entertain myself

.

My internal conflicts with Wen were well hidden; no one outside knew what happened after we got home.

I gradually got used to spending time online to relieve boredom. The online world is full of wonders, and I started to rediscover my old hobbies.

I don't know why, but I've always liked watching things that involve binding girls, whether in movies, TV shows

, or novels. I would get very excited. Later, I found many online groups, and I particularly

liked CA125's film and television bondage. Later, I also frequented places like Depression Space and Li Family Courtyard.

At that time, nude and bondage photos taken by netizens were becoming popular, and I always dreamed that Wen could

study those things with me. When we had free time, Wen could be my model, and I could take some private photos of her,

or bind her up and do something more romantic. But I knew that was just a dream, and a very distant

one at that. When I was feeling down, I would sometimes imagine what Wen would be like tied up, whether she would become

... weak and helpless, and I would have to play the hero and rescue her... Some things are only beautiful to think about!

At that time, work at school was getting busier and busier, and research tasks were becoming heavier, so I happily devoted myself

to the lab. Life became simpler and simpler; besides hanging out with a few close friends, I would go home and

go online or sleep. Wen started to neglect me, but as my wife, she still kept the house clean and

tidy.

Yan is my junior classmate and one of my closest friends. I've known Yan for a long time, long before I met Wen

. She's always been a very compatible friend; we share many similarities in personality and interests

. The reason I never had any romantic feelings for her is perhaps because she wasn't considered pretty (I later realized that

the key to a good wife is compatibility and ease of use, which has nothing to do with looks, but it was too late).

So, our relationship developed purely as friendship from the beginning. Yan's appearance is average; she has small, squinty eyes, a slightly flat nose, and

dark skin for a girl. Her only redeeming quality is her height—1.7 meters. Although she's a bit

chubby (baby fat), she still looks tall and well-proportioned overall. Yan is a talented woman with a refined and scholarly manner.

However, perhaps because she practiced martial arts from a young age, she also has a lively and active side.

There was a research project that Yan and I worked on together. We were often together in the lab.

Besides talking about experimental matters, she would also ask about Wen and me. In front of my friends, I could only pretend everything was fine

. She then asked why Wen never went out to eat with me and my friends, and I could only make up some excuse to avoid it

.

Since Wen's attention to me decreased, I often hung out with a few close friends—eating,

singing, going to bars—and Yan was naturally among them. I got drunk more and more often, and Yan was always the one to take care of me,

because she was the only girl among us. For a while, experiments often went on until 11 or 12 at night, and I

was responsible for taking Yan home. Yan had a bicycle, and I always helped her push it. We would chat as we walked,

and we always had endless things to talk about!

One time, Wen and I had another argument, and I was working alone in the lab. Yan noticed I was in a bad mood

. That evening, when I was taking her home, she suddenly asked me if I wanted to get married. I was stunned for a moment and could only stammer,

"So-so...it's alright!" It started to drizzle, and Yan told me to wait downstairs while she ran upstairs to get

me an umbrella, telling me to be careful on the way. The next day, Wen saw the flowery umbrella I brought back and casually asked whose

umbrella it was. I truthfully said it was Yan's. Wen didn't say anything and went to work...

A few days later, a few friends and I went out to a bar after drinking. We went to a very famous disco

. To the deafening music, many men and women were dancing. I ordered red wine and

watched while drinking. One friend got drunk and insisted on dragging everyone to dance next to the DJ. Yan and I went up.

Under the flashing lights, Yan's tall figure stood out in the crowd. She danced to the rhythm of the music, her

body movements not very large. At that moment, I suddenly felt that Yan was very feminine!

There was a lot to do during the undergraduate teaching evaluation. The task of supplementing and revising the teaching and research group's lesson plans fell to Yan and me

. The inspection was the next day, and our only option was to work overtime all night. But things just

happened unexpectedly!

Yan and I worked together very well. We ate hamburgers and drank cola, our work efficiency was extremely high, and we finished very quickly.

What I thought would take all night was almost done by 2 AM. Yan suggested we play some

games to celebrate. The game we played most often together was *Grand Theft Auto III*, a North American violent game

about the protagonist's path to becoming a gangster in a city. It's a third-person perspective game with a very high degree of freedom.

The protagonist can live freely in the city; if he doesn't want to complete the set missions, he can wander the streets,

shoot a few passersby, steal a car and race, or stand by the sea and enjoy the scenery. Whenever we played this

game, I was always in charge of driving, and Yan would help with the other operations. Yan's favorite

thing to do is to shoot guns and throw grenades in the street, attracting police to fight her until her wanted level reaches four

. Then, an FBA (Fire Police Officer) will appear in a nice car, and they'll steal it

. I'll drive and evade the chase, while Yan quickly enters a cheat code to reduce her wanted level to zero. Then we can

happily drive home in a rare, nice car and save our progress. It seems Yan, despite her quiet demeanor, has a bit of

a wild streak inside.

We played for over an hour and were both a little tired. Yan leaned back in her chair, wanting to sleep, and I

jokingly said, "Don't sleep! If you fall asleep, I'll sell you!"

Yan laughed and said, "You don't have a sack! Besides, I'll scream, you'll have to find a rope to tie me up and gag me

!"

Yan's casual remark touched a nerve deep within me. I jokingly pinched her

hand, and Yan struggled against me, her sleepiness instantly vanishing.

I said I wanted to go for a walk and get some fresh air. Outside, the hallway light was off, plunging me into darkness.

Yan followed behind me, instinctively grabbing my arm. I tripped, startling Yan, who cried out,

only to find her soft body falling into my arms…

At that moment, I completely lost control. Yan was tall, and I could feel her rapid breathing

. My lips easily found hers… When Yan's hands tightened around my neck

, I knew it was all irreversible!

Yan and I kissed for a long time, until my legs ached from standing. Then we finally let go. Yan leaned on my shoulder

and whispered in my ear, "I like you. I really have feelings for you!"

I just stood there, stunned, because by then I was starting to come to my senses and realize

what I was doing!

After that, Yan and I walked hand-in-hand through the campus, and nothing happened…

In the days that followed, Yan and I kept our feelings to ourselves, but I desperately tried to repair my marriage with Wen,

perhaps because I felt I had indeed made a mistake. But I simply couldn't tolerate Wen's so-called "bottom lines"—they

always broke down at crucial moments. I also began to wonder if I had contracted some kind of male "terminal illness," wondering if I

still had that kind of sexual dysfunction.

At first, Wen didn't care too much about my relationship with Yan, because Yan and I were good friends before we met

, and she didn't think Yan was a match for her. But recently, more and more rumors have reached

her ears, saying that Yan and I seem to be getting a little closer, and Wen has begun to have doubts. What I found most unbearable

was Wen's use of reverse psychology. Every time we had a minor disagreement, she would bring

up Yan, saying, "Yan wouldn't be like that, would she!"

Finally, Wen and I had another big fight over visiting my parents. Wen

's reason for not wanting to go back was that the sheets hadn't been washed and the out-of-season clothes hadn't been aired. I couldn't tolerate Wen's self-righteous

, pure, and virtuous attitude, so in a fit of anger, I went back to my hometown alone to visit my parents. Then I found an old classmate who was in business

and asked him to show me the world. My classmate took me to hair salons, bathhouses, nightclubs, and more

. Only then did I realize how wonderful the world was, that my abilities were perfectly normal, and that women

didn't necessarily require washing their hands before touching them. I could look at them however I wanted, and even with words, I could still

make them feel like they were in heaven! At a nightclub, I met another important girl in my life—Cui…

But that's a story for later.

From then on, the conflicts between Wen and me intensified, and we started sleeping in separate rooms, rarely speaking to each other.

Correspondingly, Wen's indifference towards me only fueled my desire for freedom.

Yan and I still often did experiments together, and I felt that this girl's attitude towards me was becoming increasingly proactive

. At night, it was just the two of us in the lab. Sometimes, when we walked together, Yan's body would

softly lean into my arms. I wanted to pull away, but I had no motivation to. I'm not a saint, and there's no

need for me to be one!

And so, Yan and I often had passionate kisses that happened unintentionally

. This girl's tongue became increasingly playful, slippery and slippery, making it impossible for me to stay clear-headed. I couldn't let my emotions get involved. Going to prostitutes outside

was fine, but Yan was a decent, good girl, and I didn't know how to be responsible for her.

Finally, that night, the results of the Western blot we completed together were fantastic

. Unable to contain our excitement, we embraced and kissed…

From entering the lab at six in the morning until now, it was late at night. So many days of repetition had finally yielded good

results. Yan and I had waited far too long for this day…

We changed out of our lab coats and left the lab. Yan was in charge of turning off the lights, and perhaps on purpose,

she “accidentally” turned off the lights in the corridor as well, making it pitch black.

“Ah…” Yan lightly nestled into my arms.

I naturally hugged her from behind, my hands encircling her soft breasts. Yan instinctively

pressed her hands lightly onto mine. Smelling her faint fragrance and feeling her long hair brush against my cheek

, I felt a little lightheaded. My bottom line, which had been held for so many days, had finally been crossed.

My hand reached down to Yan's lower body. Yan didn't resist, letting my hand slip from her waistband into her panties

. What a plump mound! I still vividly remember the feeling. Yan's area was already

somewhat wet and slippery. Curious, I squatted down. In the darkness, Yan dropped her bag and cooperatively grabbed the hem of her skirt with both hands

. I pulled her panties down to her thighs. Although it was pitch black, I

could already feel the heat emanating from her, and smell that exciting scent!

Yan didn't stop me from my next move. My lips were already pressed tightly between her legs. Yan

let out a soft moan, her body slumping against the corridor wall. I felt that Yan's private parts were pink and tender,

and almost completely smooth, with very little hair. However, it wasn't entirely hairless; I could only

feel a few fine, soft downy hairs on the tip of my nose. In the darkness, my lips could barely feel those hairs.

The presence of her was everywhere my mouth touched—tender flesh... The scent of Yan's lower body excited me even more

; it carried a natural, unique aroma, with a faint, primal odor of urine—a scent I had never smelled

on any woman before. My excitement was indescribable. Yan asked if I smelled, and I said it smelled wonderful. Yan laughed and said, "

How could it smell wonderful down there?

" I took off Yan's underwear, stood up, grabbed one of Yan's thighs with one hand, and with the other hand

, I pulled down my own pants, aiming at Yan's genitals. Yan's height of 1.7 meters made this position

very convenient for us to have intercourse. Although I couldn't see anything, I could easily penetrate to the hilt...

...

When we came out of the lab, it was already the early morning of the next day. Looking at the starry sky, Yan linked arms with mine

. For the second time, we could stroll around the campus like a couple.

Yan stopped by the playground, leaning on the railing to look at the stars. I still hugged her from behind, one hand protecting

her breasts, the other lewdly slipping into her pants. Yan's underwear was already in my pocket,

so there was no defense there. Of course, Yan didn't need any defense. My fingers gently

caressed her labia, enjoying that beauty that wasn't mine…

“What will you do if I get pregnant with your child?” Yan suddenly asked.

I hesitated; Yan's question stumped me!

Yan was a smart girl, and immediately replied, “I really want to have a child for you, to watch the child grow up,

just like you'll always be by my side!”

Someone once said that if a girl loves you to the extreme, she will want to have a child for you…

I gently sealed her lips with a kiss…

This is a memory etched deep in my heart!

My relationship with Yan developed rapidly, and I completely let my guard down. I discovered a charm in Yan that

was entirely different from Wen's. I began to be confused about my judgment of women, unsure of what was right

. The doctrines of cleanliness, hygiene, and purity that Wen had instilled in me were completely overturned with Yan.

Because of my long-term relationship with Wen, I understood the importance of personal hygiene and sometimes habitually washed my hands. But

Yan never seemed to protest against those things. Even if I put my hand, which had just handled a white mouse

, into her underwear, she wouldn't object. Yan never said that sex could only be done in a cozy bedroom

. Wasn't our first time in the laboratory corridor?

Yan's standards of hygiene naturally didn't reach Wen's level, and just this alone made me ecstatic,

perhaps because I had been suppressing my feelings for too long. It's normal for girls to have a certain odor, and gradually Yan started to

irritate me. From then on, my favorite thing to do in the lab was to flip through books

while smelling the finger that had picked up Yan's scent. Others didn't think it was

strange, but Yan would secretly glare at me when she saw it, and when no one was around, she would kick me!

Once, I put a peanut between her labia and then licked it out and ate it.

Such a thing could never happen to Wen's body, but Yan showed an unprecedented level of cooperation. She herself

placed the peanuts one by one into her labia, waiting for me to taste them... Later, preserved plums, chocolate

, milk candy, and many other snacks became our playthings. Later, Yan asked me if I had read Chen Zhongshi's

"White Deer Plain." I said no, so she told me to read it. I found the book and indeed found

a scene about "soaking dates." Not long after, I also ate the dates that Yan had soaked for me. Yan and I watched

a Japanese R-rated film called *In the Realm of the Senses* together. It also had a scene where a hard-boiled egg was inserted into a woman's vagina

. Yan wanted to try it and asked me to help her. I was hesitant to use too much force, afraid it wouldn't come out. Yan

herself lacked confidence, so I said let's forget it and try again another time. Unexpectedly,

that opportunity never came. Ultimately, this wish was fulfilled by another girl—Cui.

Another time, when I was with Yan, I casually asked a question that had been weighing on my mind for a long time:

"Can I tie you up?"

Yan looked up at me, smiled, and said, "I've already been tied up by you!"

"I want to see what it's really like!" I said with a smile.

“Mmm!” Yan nodded. “Anything is fine with you, as long as you’re willing!”

That evening, we were still in the lab. I

took out my “treasured” possession—a 10GB external hard drive. Yan was also curious and looked at it with me. Then she confessed that she

had seen some Japanese bondage works online and was very curious about the allure of the ropes combined with the female body. Yan was particularly

interested in some domestic films and television shows that I had collected, as well as the then-nascent KB photography.

“How about you kidnap me?” Yan had already guessed my preferences.

There were several nylon ropes in the lab for hanging welcome banners. I waited in the corridor with the ropes, then

"sneaked" into the lab. Yan was by the centrifuge. After some struggle and resistance, I finally managed to tie

her up tightly. This was my first time doing bondage. Although my ropework was a bit messy, it was real work

. Yan's hands and feet were firmly bound, and then I gagged her with gauze. Yan was now tied up on the ground, unable to speak with her mouth gagged, she struggled and groaned

like in movies, "Ugh, ugh..." My first experience with bondage with Yan was so interesting, except I was a bit ruthless; the nylon rope left bloody marks on Yan's wrists!

Yan is a very considerate girl. Take bondage, for example. I like it, maybe because I have sadomasochistic tendencies

. Yan isn't the masochistic type, but she's very cooperative and understands my preferences.

We imitate bondage scenes from movies and TV shows, especially those involving kidnapping brides, kidnapping bandits, or

human traffickers. Yan even went out of her way to buy hemp rope; in that respect, probably no other

girl would do that. Especially one time, I mentioned wanting to buy a burlap sack but couldn't find where to buy one. Then,

Yan actually found a place and excitedly dragged me there.

The burlap shop owner asked if we wanted a new or used one. I said new, of course

. She brought out a brand new standard burlap sack, 1 meter by 0.75 meters. Yan glanced at it

and said, "This might be a bit too small, it won't fit!"

The owner then asked, "What do you want to pack?"

I suddenly felt my face flush and my heart race, and I was speechless. I didn't hear Yan say anything to brush me

off.

"Do you have anything longer?" Yan asked again.

"We only have used ones!" The owner pointed to a roll of burlap on the ground, then pulled

one out.

It was a non-standard burlap sack. Yan took it; the length seemed to reach her neck.

She nodded, smiled at me, and said, "This one will do!"

I quickly paid.

The proprietress folded the burlap sack as she said, "This sack has only been used once, it's

practically brand new, guaranteed sturdy!"

I laughed too.

I've been using that burlap sack ever since, and two girls have been in it:

Yan and Cui!

The most unforgettable memory is that trip to Beijing. Yan and I were sent to an academic conference, a rare

opportunity to finally not have to hide anymore. On the train, neither Yan nor I could sleep. Yan, who was sleeping below, tugged at me,

asking me to go to the toilet with her.

Yan's coquettish manner was so adorable. I was waiting for her outside the restroom, but Yan pulled me in with her

. The train restroom was small, just enough for the two of us. I helped Yan unzip her pants,

and she squatted down. I bent down to look at her, but Yan smiled and wouldn't let me see. After she finished, we found there

was no toilet paper. I said it was okay, and helped Yan stand up. Then I squatted down and put my mouth to her private parts, trying to lick them.

Yan said no, and tried to back away, but it was too small…

“How can you do this?” Yan looked at me tenderly. “It’s dirty!”

I smiled and shook my head, saying, “If you like it, I’ll lick it clean for you from now on!”

Yan hugged my neck and said softly, “No, you’re so good to me!” Then she cried

…

We had a wonderful time in Beijing. We could stroll hand-in-hand in Tiananmen Square without

worrying about being recognized. I also had a special "mission" in Beijing: I had arranged online to go to SOSMM

to take a set of bondage photos. Yan knew about it and agreed, but she didn't want to go herself.

After we got back, Yan eagerly asked me how it went. I said that besides the novelty, nothing special happened.

The day before we left Beijing, we went to the Great Wall at Badaling. Early in the morning, we waited for the bus outside Deshengmen.

I held Yan in my arms the whole time. Climbing the Great Wall hand-in-hand with my confidante—only I can truly understand the feeling. We

practically scoured every corner of Badaling, finally finding a secluded spot. We shared a

long kiss, and then Yan suggested, "Let's make love here!"

Yan's hands caressed the crenellations of the Great Wall, and I gently pulled down her jeans and underwear. Her round,

firm buttocks shone brightly in the sunlight. We were both a little nervous, afraid someone might come over.

When I entered her, Yan adjusted her hips to make penetration easier. Her insides were hot, and

it felt like a small hand was gripping my penis. The wind carried a slight chill, and I held Yan even tighter…

…

That night, Yan's roommate had already left, and Yan invited me to stay in her room. That night, Yan and I

made love almost frantically. I didn't count how many times; we just tried every method I could think of

. I ejaculated inside Yan, and my penis went limp. Yan bent down and took it in her mouth, sucking until

… my penis became erect again… Before we knew it, it was broad daylight outside. Yan and I smiled at each other!

“You’ll remember this night!” Yan whispered in my arms.

“Yes, I’ll never forget it!”

“Tie me up, okay?”

I used a strap from Yan’s pajamas to tie her hands behind her back, and tears welled up in Yan’s eyes again

.

“Did I hurt you?”

Yan shook her head and leaned into my arms: “I can’t escape!”

I remained silent, but Yan continued, “What if Wen finds out?”

“So what if he finds out!” I sighed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll never admit it.” Yan’s thoughts were somewhat naive; even the smartest girl can sometimes

… become foolish.

Yan wouldn't let me untie her until it was time to check out at noon.

In the afternoon, we went shopping in Wangfujing again, still holding hands, but my mood wasn't good because...

We both knew our time together was running out. Before boarding the train in the evening, we

kissed passionately on the platform, and Yan's tears streamed down her face once more.

…

I had a premonition while in Beijing. After returning, I noticed Wen's attitude towards me was clearly different. During my trip to Beijing,

Wen had rummaged through my things in my small room and found a pair of

underwear in one of my clothes pockets that didn't belong to her. At that point, I had no way to deny it!

What followed was an endless argument between Wen and me. She was convinced the underwear belonged to Yan, but I stubbornly

refused to admit it. Faced with Wen's relentless pressure, I desperately tried to protect Yan, even at the cost of my own life.

I knew the truth would eventually come out, and I began to confront the problems in my relationship with Yan. Yan is a thoughtful and

considerate girl; she noticed my emotional shift early on and asked if Wen had any suspicions. I nodded in agreement.

Yan said she knew what to do, and we started to keep a certain distance from each other…

But things were far more complicated than that. Wen actually checked my phone's call records with China Mobile. It was all my fault

for using my birthday as my password. Faced with a long list of contacts with Yan and Wen's relentless questioning, I

nearly collapsed. I could only say it was something related to an experiment, but these arguments were destined to be futile.

Why were they discussing something related to an experiment in the middle of the night, in the early hours of the morning? I wanted to confront Wen and Qiu Yan, to tell them the truth, and either we divorced

, or Yan would be branded as a third party. The conflict between Wen and me had been brewing for a long time;

it wasn't Yan's fault!

Under Wen's persistent questioning, I either remained silent or changed the subject and argued fiercely with her, refusing

to admit my relationship with Yan. Although Wen knew the truth, she lacked concrete evidence and couldn't catch me in the act

. She said to me viciously, "I'll never accept losing to that girl Yan! If you divorce me, I'll

make sure you never have a moment's peace!"

Indeed, Wen had always been synonymous with beauty, gentleness, and purity. How could she accept losing to a girl who wasn't particularly attractive

? But Wen's words only strengthened my resolve to protect Yan. Even if I

gained nothing, I couldn't let Yan be hurt again. Thus, Wen and I entered the longest

period of cold war in our marriage.

Yan was preparing her graduation thesis and applying to study in the United States. I almost completely stopped all

social activities. After returning from school, I went straight home and holed up in my small room, reading, watching DVDs, and surfing the internet

– that was all. During that time, I spent significantly more time online, and that's when I started

writing the erotic novel *The Contest* (which I'm now rewriting and renaming as *The Long Road*, to be published on a dating website

). *The Contest* contained many of my real emotional and sexual experiences, and some of my experiences with Yan would be reflected in several of the novel's characters. Unfortunately, I eventually stopped writing it

due to the emotional exhaustion caused by those experiences . Yan's thesis defense went smoothly, and her study abroad application took a turn for the better. Several times she asked me out, but I always kept my distance. Yan didn't understand and thought I wanted to settle down with Wen, so I ended our relationship . She didn't know that Wen and I had been pretending everything was fine, and we hadn't spoken at home for a long time. I had been holding back, thinking that if Yan's study abroad application was successful and she went to a foreign country, I could then part ways with Wen amicably. In that case , I would have nothing, but the impact on Yan would be minimal. Once Yan was abroad, I would wish her a safe journey and hope she found a more suitable husband than me; wouldn't that also bring her happiness? However, at this moment, Yan misunderstood me. She wished me a happy little family, but I wanted to cry. I remember it was at the end of August. Yan had completed her paperwork for going abroad and was about to board the plane the next day. She asked me out again. Yan pretended to be very happy, and we went for a walk by the familiar little river. When we were alone, Yan once again hooked her arms around my neck. "Will you kiss me?" Yan's eyes were full of longing. Since returning from Beijing, we hadn't been this intimate. I sighed and shook my head. Yan had already offered her burning lips; there was nowhere to hide. Her slippery tongue playfully darted out again, and I was intoxicated… I remember sitting on a stone bench by the river. Yan stood in front of me, pulled down her panties from under her skirt, and said , “Like last time, okay?” Yan slowly rolled the panties into a ball, then stuffed them into her mouth, before straddling my legs and putting her hands behind her back! I could feel the warmth of Yan's body… “Mmm…” Yan waited a while, but didn't see any reaction from me. She once again rubbed her breasts against me coquettishly… I couldn't bear it any longer. I unbuttoned my pants and took my already erect member into Yan's body. Yan moved quickly, her hips twisting forcefully. I held her tightly, hoping our intercourse could go deeper… As Yan's lower body contracted repeatedly, I ejaculated, only to find her face already streaked with tears! (This scene is very similar to "The Tomb of West Lake." Why is there always such a poignant moment of sex before parting? It was reading that article that triggered this memory of Yan. Sometimes, things in this world are truly unpredictable!) When we parted, Yan took something out of her small bag and handed it to me. I took it and saw it was a small purse. "I made it myself…" Yan smiled. "You've always wanted to, but you didn't have the chance, so I had to…"

"She's already done it!"

With that, Yan's figure quickly disappeared into the vast night.

I sat by the river for a long time, lost in thought, not thinking about anything…

When I got home, it was already past midnight. Wen was waiting for me in the living room. She asked where I had been. She knew tomorrow was the

day Yan was leaving and expected we would meet. I glanced at Wen but had no

intention of speaking to her. I went straight into my room.

Lying in bed, I carefully opened the small pouch Yan had given me. Inside was a tuft of fine, faint,

slightly curly hair! …

The

night after Yan left, Wen suddenly came into my room, her expression seemingly different from usual.

"Honey, let's not fight anymore, okay?"

I looked at my wife.

"She's gone. Let's start over!" Wen grasped my hand.

Wen seemed like a completely different person, reminding me of the saying "a day as husband and wife is a hundred days of kindness," and a conflict

raged within me.

"Honey, I've had my faults before, but you have to give me time to change," Wen said softly.

"I'm sorry, when you weren't here, I turned on your computer and saw what you downloaded.

I kind of know what you like, and I can try it too, but not something too outrageous."

Hearing Wen's words, my heart softened instantly.

Wen turned and went back to the living room to get something—a silk scarf—and handed it to me, saying, "Don't you like

... tying people up?" "

I finally managed a rare smile, and my hand went straight to Wen's crotch. If it were before, Wen

would have jumped three feet high, but this time she didn't. I unzipped Wen's pants and pulled down her underwear along with them.

Wen was still very cooperative. My hand kneaded between Wen's legs. You know, if I hadn't washed my hands before, Wen would absolutely

never let me touch those areas! This time, Wen made a huge concession; I even

inserted most of my finger into her vagina, and Wen didn't stop me. I was beginning to believe that Wen really wanted to make some changes.

I laid Wen down on the bed, spread her legs to examine her closely. Her pubic hair was black and shiny, very thick.

In all our years of marriage, this was the first time I had seen my wife's genitals from this angle. Wen was still a little shy and quickly closed

her legs, so I pressed myself against her...

" For some reason, Wen made an incredibly stupid mistake. She suddenly said to me, "Honey, did you

... sleep with Yan? Just tell me, I won't blame you, it's all in the past..."

Some things are about saving face for each other. If you want to live a good life, don't dwell on these issues

. If everyone pretended to be oblivious, none of this would have happened. I abruptly got off Wen

, quickly straightened my clothes, and Wen sat up, asking me in confusion what was wrong.

"Yan and I are just friends, nothing else happened." I still wanted to protect Yan's innocence

.

"Who believes that? Don't think I won't hear what people say."

"If you want to live a good life, stop saying such pointless things!"

"Who said I don't want to live a good life? But I'm a woman, and some things are really hard to keep inside!" "Wen

raised his voice.

"If you want to be sad, then be sad. It's not the end of the world." I got out of bed and quickly left the room

. I heard Wen crying behind me, but I didn't look back. I left that home I didn't care about.

…

In the following days, Wen and I argued on and off about the divorce. Yan called from overseas to tell

me about her situation and ask how I was doing. She thought I would live a good life with Wen and enjoy happiness. Each

time we talked, it was for a long time, and I always pretended to be happy .

Wen refused to agree to a divorce because she felt she hadn't done anything wrong in the marriage, but she also had no evidence to prove that

Yan and I had an affair. The only possibility was that I would give in and tell the truth. Although I don't usually lie,

I never told the truth in this matter. To avoid endless arguments with Wen, I

rented a place and moved out.

During this period of greatest frustration, I started using alcohol and women to numb myself

. From that time a friend took me to a hair salon to "experience" it all, I began my long

journey of "degradation." Alcohol and women are painkillers a hundred times stronger than morphine, but they are also addictive.

I suddenly realized that once you enter that circle, you discover that seemingly impossible things

happen to you one after another. From an eighteen-year-old girl to a twenty-eight-year-old woman, and then to a thirty

-eight-year-old mature woman, my life experience was suddenly completed in those few months. At least I could

temporarily forget Yan and put Wen's matter behind me.

Yan still calls me often, which doesn't meet my expectations, even though I miss her very much.

I thought that after she went to America, her life and studies would leave her no time for me, but in fact

, I became Yan's emotional support. She could confide in me about any unhappiness she encountered in a foreign country. Every time I finished talking to Yan

... Every time I called, I felt preoccupied. Yan only talked about work and studies, never about relationships

. Her calls always jolted my already numb nerves, plunging me

into conflict time and time again.

At the end of the year, I resolutely submitted my resignation, preparing to leave this city that had left me confused, lonely, and helpless.

Wen thought that with the passage of time I could change my mind, but instead she saw me packing my bags and resolutely

leaving…

Leaving the Civil Affairs Bureau, I said goodbye to Wen. Watching her receding figure, her long hair

fluttering in the cold north wind, my eyes reddened. Wen is a good girl. Was she wrong in our marriage? It seems

not. Then I must have been wrong, terribly wrong!

That night, I drank alone in a small shop on the street. The phone rang again; it was Yan. I didn't know

how to answer the call. I stared blankly at the phone ringing in my hand. It stopped once, then

rang again immediately. It stopped again, and then Yan dialed my cell phone a third time. I finally answered the phone.

“Are you busy?” Yan's voice came through.

"No, no... my phone wasn't with me..."

"I was in a car accident, it scared me to death!" Yan seemed to be sobbing.

"Are you alright?"

"No... that person was so scary..."

"That's good..."

I still remember the content of this conversation. My feelings were like a jumbled mess. I was already extremely annoyed, yet I still had

to show concern in my words—it was really difficult.

…

I left that city, changed my phone number, and only notified a few of my closest friends. In

the time that followed, I calmed down and traveled, until I received another international call starting with "19..."

"Why did you lie to me?" Yan's voice came through the phone.

"I...I didn't..."

"Didn't you want to live a good life with Wen?"

"I...

" "I want to come back!"

"Are you crazy?"

"I just want to come back..." Yan's sobbing came through the phone.

All along, I'd held onto the idea of letting Yan find a better husband. I didn't know if that was wrong, or

selfish... Yan probably hated me. What would have happened if we had gone to America together?

I started to fear answering calls starting with "19," afraid to face reality.

...

In my confusion, I suddenly received a call from my old classmate (the one who took me to a brothel). It was

noisy on his end; I could tell he'd drunk a lot. He said someone missed me and wanted to talk to me.

My mind immediately went to Cui; it was her. Cui asked where I was and why she couldn't reach me by phone.

I met Cui over a year ago. An old classmate took me to a karaoke bar. A row of girls stood in front of me,

making me blush and my heart race. However, a girl with pure and innocent looks and long hair quickly caught my attention; that was Cui.

After my friends and I had chosen our girls, we started to show our true colors. Only I maintained a gentlemanly demeanor.

In that karaoke bar, you could only touch the girls, not touch them. If you wanted to touch them, there were two ways: one was to go to the restroom in the private room

(and give an extra 200 yuan tip), and the other was to go to a hotel afterwards. My friends and I took turns pulling the girls next to us

into the restroom. Before we came, my old classmate had explained the rules to me, so I knew them.

Of the four of us, the first three couples went in, leaving only Cui. My old classmate knew I was acting innocent on my first time out,

so he urged Cui to take me into the restroom. Cui had no choice but to get up and pull me in. Entering the bathroom, I seemed

quite dissatisfied with the environment. It was just a toilet and a sink, so small, no place to lie down, no place to

sit. I didn't know how the previous people had managed to get through it. I smiled at Cui, and she smiled

back, saying, "I don't like it here either."

"Let me ask you out to a hotel!"

"Okay, here's my phone number!" Cui readily agreed.

We exchanged phone numbers, and Cui smiled again, saying, "I think you're pretty nice!"

Cui and I chatted in the bathroom for a while, then, seeing it was almost time, we left. My friends were still

teasing me, saying we'd finished so quickly. At the end, everyone tipped

. I gave her an extra two hundred, as is customary, but Cui said it wasn't necessary, yet I still slipped it to her.

Later, I really wanted to ask Cui out to a hotel, but I never had the time or opportunity. After all, the two cities were

quite far apart, and my relationship with Yan was also heating up, so the hotel date was put on hold. However, Cui

would text me occasionally to exchange greetings. I went to that karaoke bar two or three more times, each time calling ahead to

arrange a meeting. Cui would turn down other customers and wait for me, but I still didn't have time to ask her out.

This time, however, was the perfect opportunity. Cui wanted to consult me about her sister's college application process. I had changed

my phone number, so she couldn't reach me. But sometimes you can't deny fate. Coincidentally, my old classmate

was at that karaoke bar again, and she found me.

The next day, I took a bus back to my hometown. Cui asked me to meet her at a coffee shop. We agreed that she would treat me to coffee,

and I would treat her to dinner.

Before I knew it, we'd chatted for an entire afternoon.

Of course, it wasn't just about helping her sister fill out college applications. Cui was a farm girl who grew up in the mountains of southern Anhui, with only an elementary school education.

She'd been working with her uncle since she was young. Although she wasn't highly educated, I sensed sincerity and simplicity in our conversation. Don't assume

that all prostitutes are money-grubbing; although Cui liked money too, otherwise her sister wouldn't have been able to afford

college.

Cui knew a little about my situation, and I told her about my recent experiences. Cui was very direct, asking why I didn't

go to America and why I cared so much. I shook my head and smiled bitterly…

That evening, I took Cui to a hotel room. Cui had made it clear beforehand that the premise of booking a room was that we were friends, and money was

out of the question.

Once in the room, I put my arm around Cui and kissed her. Cui obligingly stuck out her tongue,

indicating she genuinely considered me a friend.

In terms of looks, Cui might not be as good as Wen, but in terms of figure, she was definitely the best. Cui's breasts were large,

soft and comfortable to hold. When I helped her take off her underwear, I was surprised to find that such a

coincidence really existed. Cui's pubic area was somewhat similar to Yan's—both had very little hair.

Cui's was slightly more, though. Girls with very little hair are quite rare;

I've seen quite a few in the past year, and I thought Yan must be a rare beauty, but I've met

a second one so easily. I don't know why, but from that moment on, I had a strange feeling towards Cui.

Ever since my relationship with Wen ran into problems, my requirements for women seemed to have gone to extremes.

Any girl who could go against Wen's bottom line was a good girl, and Yan was definitely one, and Cui was another. Moreover, Cui

was more skilled in the various techniques in bed, especially since she could almost bring me to climax with just her mouth. It was amazing

. No other girl could use her mouth as skillfully as her, at least I had never met one. At first

, Cui asked me if I wanted to take a shower. I said if it was okay not to, and I wanted to test Cui's limits. Cui just smiled and said, "Whatever you want

." Then she let my tongue wander over her sensitive spots. There was a special scent, and sticky love juice covered my

face...

I made another request, asking Cui if I could tie her up. Cui nodded, so I

tied her hands with her stockings and gagged her with her panties. I went wild, bringing her to

orgasm several times. Seeing her hands bound behind her back, her fists clenched during her climax, gave me a

sense of accomplishment as a man.

That night, Cui and I made love all night until dawn. Cui was satisfied with my abilities and became

even more compliant with me.

A week later, Cui came to visit me at my invitation. I took her to some local attractions. That night, we didn't go to

a hotel because she wanted to stay at my rented apartment. As soon as we entered, Cui exclaimed that it was practically a doghouse, so

she sent me out to buy dinner. When I returned with a few dishes from a small shop, the apartment had been completely transformed.

Actually, I didn't have much stuff. I only took a few things from my old home. While Cui was tidying up,

she found a burlap sack in my suitcase.

"Why did you put that burlap sack in your suitcase?" Cui asked, puzzled.

I smiled but didn't answer. That burlap sack was the one Yan and I bought together. Everything else was unnecessary

; I kept this one as a treasure in my suitcase.

"I know, what are you going to use it for…" Cui remembered

some things I'd told her about Yan a few days ago.

"I'll put you in too!"

Cui hesitated for a moment, then nodded and said, "Yeah, I can try!"

And so, Cui became the second girl I'd put in that burlap sack. To this day, I've never used that burlap sack

to put any other girl in it.

While chatting in bed, Cui asked me what kind of wife I would want if I were to find another one

. I said I wanted a girl who was willing to be stuffed into a sack by me. Cui then asked how many girls I had stuffed into sacks, and I said she was

the second one so far. Cui just looked at me silently, without saying a word…

I don't know if Cui's arrival brought me good luck, but I found a job very easily. Cui and I

lived 50 kilometers apart, so we could see each other often. That day, I talked to Yan on the phone again, feeling extremely bad.

I was drinking alone in my room when Cui came in. I was already very drunk, vomiting incessantly until I vomited blood. Cui

rushed me to the hospital, and I don't remember much after that.

When I woke up, Cui was by my bedside. Later, the nurse said that the girl had been watching over me for two days and two

nights… I had been hospitalized for a week due to a stomach hemorrhage, and Cui was the only one taking care of me. It was the first time in my life

I had felt so desolate. After being discharged, Cui and I went home together. That night, I suddenly hugged Cui tightly and told her not to go back to work at the karaoke bar

. Cui nodded in agreement.

And so, Cui moved in with me, and my life returned to normal. Cui didn't go out to look

for work, nor could she find a job she particularly liked. She stayed home every day to take care of me. When I came home from work, Cui had already

prepared dinner—not lavish, but delicious. In the morning, there was porridge and milk on the table. My

life had never been so comfortably taken care of.

As the saying goes, "When people are well-fed and warm, they think of lust." In that aspect, Cui gave me the greatest satisfaction without reservation.

Compared to Yan, Cui is a different kind of person. Perhaps she can't match Yan in terms of taste or creating ambiance, but she has a more

genuine quality. Cui says I'm well-read and know a lot of tricks. Whatever I tell her, she'll try to

do it, and she'll do it very seriously, even asking me earnestly, "Is this right?" Actually, how would I know if it's right

or wrong? Some things Yan and I had tried, and some tricks were just things I made up out of thin air.

But Cui thought these things were real and tried them very hard. Even if she didn't succeed, she only blamed herself for being stupid,

never doubting whether my ideas were actually feasible!

Once, I suddenly wanted to try anal sex, and Cui readily agreed. This sounds easy, but it's

not simple at all. First, neither of us could figure out which position was most convenient. In the end,

we chose the more traditional method: Cui lay on her back, and I knelt between her legs, spreading her legs up.

When I reached her shoulder, I first inserted my penis into her vagina, feeling the warm, wet stimulation.

After applying some lubricating fluid, I pulled it out and thrust vigorously into her cute anus. Perhaps because my penis was too thick,

I couldn't quite get it right. After a while, the lubricating fluid almost dried up, so I had to insert it into

her vagina to rest. Cui said a good friend of hers had tried anal sex, and asked if I wanted to ask her how. I said yes, and Cui

took her phone and called the girl from the bed, while we were still intercourse. The feeling was

truly wonderful. Because we were so close, I could hear their conversation clearly. The girl said she needed to get

some lubricating fluid… so she found a condom, and then it was time to go in! The first time was quite novel, and I got a little

... rough. Cui's vulva broke, somewhat like a virgin's spotting...

When I'm with Cui, we rarely use condoms. Firstly, I don't like using them, and secondly

... I want to show Cui respect. At least when we're together, I treat her as a friend. Cui understands

my intentions and is very compliant with me.

Take bondage, for example. I've tried almost every style on Cui.

Generally speaking, Cui isn't as good at bondage as Yan. At first, when I tied her up, she always thought I should whip

her, torture her, and then rape her—that it had to be violent. Later, after playing around more, she

understood my preferences. It wasn't that violent; most of the time it was just about the feeling of binding her, and

it didn't cause her any physical harm. So, Cui also grew to like my "perverted" behaviors.

She got used to me tying her up during sex, as it made it easy for her to reach orgasm. She also got used to me tying her up and

appreciating her as a work of art. She was even more used to being tied up while watching TV, chatting, stargazing, or being coquettishly asked to

feed her, carry her to the toilet, and wash her feet... well, it's my fault for tying her up!

There's another thing. Cui also learned to put things in her lower body for me to eat, just like Yan did. Every day after work,

I got into the habit of going to Cui's body first to look for food. Cui always prepared in advance, letting me find the candies, chocolates, and preserved plums hidden inside her

. We still enjoy this game to this day.

Back then, Yan and I tried to put a peeled hard-boiled egg into her lower body, but we failed. But Cui did it

. Cui used her hand to forcefully push it in. I hurriedly asked if it would be difficult to get out, but Cui said it wouldn't. Sure enough, she squatted down and

"spit" the egg out. A woman's body is really interesting...

Speaking of Cui's goodness, I could write a long story about it, but due to the limitations of this article's theme,

I'll consider it when I have time later.

After living with Cui for a while, I gradually understood that if a girl likes someone,

she can become very silly. Cui is truly devoted. Even knowing she might just be filling a void in my heart and soul,

she never complained. Even when I inexplicably lashed out at her after answering Yan's call, she never

uttered a word in response. Instead, she would comfort me after I calmed down.

Initially, I had many concerns about my relationship with Cui. Our lives are very different, and even

Cui herself hadn't made any plans in that direction. She always believed in letting things take their course, that it was enough for someone to treat her well,

without seeking any formal commitment. But as we spent more time together, I felt that if I were to use this girl

and then discard her, it would be worse than being an animal. However, making our relationship public would also bring a lot of pressure.

First, there were those who knew about Cui's past. I could hide some things from my parents and relatives, but Cui was just an

unemployed, uneducated outsider, which would inevitably lead to much speculation. That's how the world is—it's so

annoying!

Just then, Yan returned from the United States to visit relatives, and another purpose of her visit was to find me. Cui knew that Yan

had returned and that she was coming to see me, so she offered to go out to find a friend, giving me space and time.

Undeniably, I've always loved Yan. Yan was straightforward; she wanted to marry me and get our marriage certificate. Seeing

Yan's tearful face, I almost wanted to pull her into my arms again. But then I remembered Wen's

harsh words when we broke up. Why bother? Loving a girl can also mean letting her go, letting her find better happiness, instead

of dragging her into an endless feud…

"I've found a girlfriend…"

"You?" Yan was surprised. "Didn't you say you liked me?"

"I… didn't I already tell you before you went abroad?"

"But you didn't say you wanted a divorce!"

"Silly girl, be good…" I really had nothing to say.

Yan was already in tears.

I hardened my heart, dialed Cui's number, and called her over. Cui didn't know what was wrong; she thought Yan had left and rushed

over, only to find out what had happened!

Yan left, and I stood in the wind for a long time. Cui stood beside me, silent, her

arm around my shoulder…

…

Perhaps Yan would think I was a hypocrite, perhaps Wen had already labeled me that way. Life

always has its ups and downs, its disappointments; why strive for perfection?

More than half a month later, Cui's period didn't arrive. We went to the hospital together; Cui was pregnant. I

felt I should take on the responsibility of being a father. Regardless of Cui's past, regardless of what others might say, I

should marry Cui, make her happy to be my wife, and willingly let me tie her down for life!

I did indeed do it!

(The End)

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