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Xi'an Past 

Many years ago, that winter, there was no snow. I arrived in Xi'an,

the ancient capital !


There was a huge gap between imagination and reality! My image of this imperial capital had been brewing in my mind,

so clear before I stepped onto the platform, but after exiting the station, it was completely replaced by reality! I hailed a

taxi and told the driver I wanted to go to Yuxiang Gate! Wandering through the winding streets of the ancient city, I marveled at its vastness!

Little did I know that I would be ripped off, learning that the ancient capital didn't have the kind of honest

, trustworthy foundation one might expect! The distance from the train station to Yuxiang Gate was at most 4 kilometers, but while I marveled at its

vastness I paid six times the price!


I found my company office, a tiny place, in the auto parts market near Yuxiang Gate! The three bedrooms and two living rooms

were far too spacious for just the two of us! In the many days and nights that followed, this spaciousness repeatedly

made me feel a sense of loneliness and a subtle, unspoken longing for something! Xi'an

's roads are wide and straight, stretching from east to west and from south to north, seemingly endless!


I spent three days experiencing the smoothness of its roads, the historical charm of the Bell Tower, and sighing over its past glory on the crowded North

Street ! The decline of the Qin Dynasty

ignited the passion of successive dynasties to establish their capitals here! The fall of each dynasty bestowed upon the ancient capital of Qin an unimaginable historical value, leading to repeated leaps in its development!


After enjoying mutton soup with noodles and Jia's soup dumplings, I hadn't even had time to trace the roots of the ancient capital before throwing myself into

the passion of work! Actually, calling it work is a bit too formal! At most, it's just checking

market price trends, and I've always found this kind of work incredibly tedious! The daily repetition of work leads to

a daily monotony in my mood! Today and yesterday, yesterday and the day before, offered no surprises or new expectations!

The days just passed by in a daze.


The beauties here are as plentiful as the ancient ruins. One wrong stroke of the hoe, and you might just unearth

a beauty from the Qin or Tang dynasties. The sandstorms are fierce, swirling and

scattering yellow sand that mars the beauties' hair and fair skin! But none of this concerns us! If we must find

a connection, it's merely a fleeting glance, a brief brush past, leaving nothing behind except the lingering scent of

perfume that testifies to our passing.


In this moment of searching, I saw an extremely familiar smile! While I was still trying to recall

if her past existed in my mind, she called out my name!


"Xiu Tian, what are you doing here?"


Um… I stammered, trying to recall any past contact with her! Unable to speak!


"Have you forgotten me?"


I saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but it was quickly masked by excitement!


"I'm Shi Yu!"


Ah!! I stammered again, but this wasn't the embarrassment of not remembering someone; it was the inability

to express the expression one should have when suddenly realizing something! After a pause of a second or two, I laughed, a genuinely comfortable laugh! She

was my elementary school classmate. After two years of schooling together, she transferred to another school that seemed so far away at the time!

It's said her mother didn't want her to waste her time with us kids, so the whole family moved! We started living completely

different lives! Ten years have passed in the blink of an eye! All that slips through my fingers are vague memories of my childhood! Those

countless games of hide-and-seek, those countless times I was the groom and she was the bride playing house! These formed

the two years of childhood memories we shared!


"When did you come to Xi'an?" This is the most complete and grammatically correct

thing I've said since we met!


"It's been almost a year. I never expected to see you

here "


"Haha, I came here to dig for cultural relics. Haven't you heard there are national treasures everywhere here?" "

We joked back and forth about the past, reminiscing about our childhood ten years ago that we hadn't forgotten. Excitement

burst forth in our conversation! We talked very late that day! Even after she closed the shop and went upstairs with her aunt, I was still

gazing out the second-floor window, savoring this unexpected reunion! This reunion was simply a recollection of the past,

until something less simple happened, I stubbornly believed that fate had splashed a little ink on this purity, leaving it

with a mottled mark! It's a pity!


In the following days, we went to Kaiyuan Mall, feeling the surging crowds, and we went

to eat at Guoqiao..." The rice noodles, steaming hot, seemed to laugh with delight! We also visited the Epang Palace, appreciating its

grandeur . We childishly carved each other's names on the Big Wild Goose Pagoda, both of us

subconsciously trying to hold onto this time, hoping to reminisce about it in the simpler days to come!


However, things still happened unexpectedly, and afterwards we both felt terrible. It not only tarnished that

simplicity but also marked the end of our reunion! Because she had a boyfriend who loved her very much,

who had been patiently and stubbornly waiting for her while she was away from home!


That morning, the sun was blazing, but... So much warmth, just a blinding, pale glow,

seemingly foreshadowing everything that was to come! I accompanied her to the market to buy groceries. Since we left early, after

ensuring she had lunch at her place, we had extra time to stroll around. She suggested we visit my place,

but I hadn't invited her because it was truly messy—clothes hanging haphazardly, the table barely enough space for

a cup . I attributed all of this to the nature of a single man; it might seem like personality when alone,

but with a woman present, it becomes quite unpleasant!


As she stepped across the threshold, the slight furrow in her brow confirmed my suspicions. Awkward. All I could say was,

"That's just how men are!" Little did I expect that such a remark would drag all my fellow men into the mire,

leaving them utterly humiliated ! She didn't acknowledge my embarrassment; instead, she rolled up her sleeves and began to let me appreciate the beauty of female labor!


Watching her busy figure, I secretly rejoiced at her diligence, focusing all my attention on that

working body. I reminded myself that I was appreciating a picture of laborers, but

a distinct desire was surging within me! I knew I couldn't remain idle like this; I should do something to dispel the

gloom in my heart! So, I casually helped this and that!


The more I tried to avoid it, the more unintentionally it assailed me! It swelled until my mind was throbbing,

with only a thin sliver of morality holding back the surging tide of desire! Until my fingers unconsciously

touched her smooth fingertips, that supporting nerve snapped! Moral concepts were cast aside to prehistoric times,

letting the tide of desire surge freely within me! I thought she would resist, or at least avoid it! But she didn't; her tacit agreement

only fueled my impulse! Perhaps she even subtly reciprocated! This made it impossible for me to control the surging

passion!


At that moment, reason was completely lost; only possession remained! Each expansion of this desire intensified

with her hot, labored breathing! When my hand touched her breasts, the desire reached its

peak! The soft, snow-white flesh sent a tidal wave of shock through my mind, overwhelming my entire being! She tried desperately

to control herself, but her thoughts became even more sluggish under the impact. The only image that flashed through her mind was the two

prominent breasts! There was no way to resist; her hand, following her chaotic thoughts, slid between

her legs the lush greenery! She imagined the beautiful forest filled with the cries of mandarin ducks, the clear streams flowing gently,

reflecting the rainbow overhead!


Everything began to feel natural. As her clothes were peeled away one by one, she was completely naked, returning to

the moment she was born into the world, only now there were moans and no cries!

The moment I entered her, she felt her long-lost pleasure; that place, sealed for so long, suddenly released

all passion! Her body opened and closed, rising and falling with the collapse of her consciousness! Perhaps it was because of her long period of desolation, but in

that instant, she uncontrollably released her desire! Her body twisted, enjoying the hungry filling! And

the breath seemed to confirm her trembling existence!


The mountain stream's clear waters flowed even more swiftly, creating tiny white bubbles with each inflow and outflow,

like little balls blown up by fish breathing, carrying a hint of fishiness. With each crash against the cliff face, the torrent

meandered and lingered in the warmer parts, brewing its final surge into the vast ocean. The rainbow before our eyes gradually

blurred , and the surging torrent, with its final roar upon reaching the other shore, ended its lingering in the mountain stream,

merging into the ocean in that instant, seemingly real yet unreal! Lightly, it lost its balance. Lying on the sea cliff, it gasped for breath! The

impending surge to the other shore also fueled the ceaseless flow of the mountain stream.


The two bodies, silent after the passion, seemed to be searching for

justification for their impulsive act. But the final answer was that they must both become strangers to repent for this misstep!


We had many childhood memories, so innocent, but what we can recall as adults is

so unbearable!

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