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My senior and I 

I want to tell you a true story about myself.

I'm a junior in college. There's a senior in my club (let's call her Wan-jun for now), she's a year older than me. She's been very kind to me since my freshman year.

Although she already had a boyfriend, and they were very much in love, I still had some fantasies and hopes about her.

Just recently, last semester, she broke up with her boyfriend (let's call him Senior Xiao-ming for now).

Wan-jun's boyfriend is two years older than me. That means he's currently serving in the military. Although he's two years older than me, in the club he treats the younger students like brothers, without any senior airs. Every time we go drinking or singing, he invites us younger students.

So seeing this couple together always makes me feel a little jealous or wistful.

Don't even mention how beautiful or how great Wan-jun's figure is. Senior Xiao-ming is academically excellent, charming, tall, and a hearty drinker. It takes five or six younger students to get him drunk, and it's a relentless, relentless battle.

To this day, I still don't know the real reason for their breakup, but I think it might be because of me.

During my sophomore year, I often had to participate in club activities. Wan-jun and I happened to be on the same team. Xiao-ming, on the other hand, was preparing for studying abroad and constantly taking GRE exams, essentially a semi-retired student.

He didn't participate in many activities, only occasionally coming to the club to chat.

I lacked his charm, wasn't as physically fit, and my grades were terrible (also due to club commitments).

But Wan-jun seemed to pay special attention to me. Every time I looked into her eyes, I felt she was giving me a hint.

Maybe I was just imagining things, but her eyes were beautiful; I thought they were the most beautiful part of her.

That day, we went on a team trip to a certain place (I won't say the location). Xiao-ming didn't come; this was the first time Wan-jun's boyfriend hadn't accompanied her. Wan-jun seemed very excited that day, and her attitude towards me was even more friendly, constantly asking if I had a pen or asking me to do things together.

Of course, I'm not stupid, but I just wanted to be sure if I was just trying to get close to someone else.

My senior is 176 cm tall, while I'm only 169 cm. Wan-jun is the voluptuous type, like Katie Winsley (the female lead in Titanic, which my senior and I watched together).

It was evening, and since it was March and we were on a mountain, it was still a bit chilly. My senior took my hand to watch the sunset.

This was the first time she had touched my body, and I was startled by her action, whether intentional or not.

We walked to the ridge of the mountain. Perhaps feigning cold, my senior gradually moved closer to my chest. I don't know how she moved.

And that's how it happened.

If I were to explain to my senior, I would definitely say it was because the sunset that day was just too beautiful, and my senior and I just hugged each other while watching it. Speaking of childhood memories, it was the first time I had hugged a girl, so my penis was pressed stiffly against my senior's buttocks.

Normally, when I'm erect, my genitals are slightly pushed back. I was a little afraid to let my senior touch me. But my senior sister pulled me closer again, and this only made me hug her tighter.

We chatted about zodiac signs and blood types. Suddenly, she took my hand and said she wanted to read my fortune.

I've always thought all this feng shui and fortune-telling was nonsense, and because I was hugging her, I wasn't listening to anything she was saying.

Suddenly, it seemed like she finished reading my palm, and she put my hand back on her waist. But this time, I was sure she was doing it on purpose, because she placed my right hand almost touching her genitals, and her hand was pressed against the back of my hand.

Even an idiot should know what to do next, but I didn't move at all. My hand just sat there, frozen in place. She was wearing jeans, and my right hand was on the zipper; I could feel the warmth of her genitals. And since I was sitting while hugging her, my hand was also somewhat trapped between her legs.

We stayed like that for about half an hour. Perhaps seeing that I seemed timid, she leaned her head back and rested it on my shoulder. Smelling Wan Jun's long hair, my heart raced. Even my breathing became labored.

I could barely hear what she was saying, only managing mumbled replies.

Only one thought occupied my mind: "Did she break up with Xiao Ming?"

I don't know how long the turmoil in my heart lasted. Suddenly, I realized it was getting dark. The mountain wasn't very high, and I knew the path well, but walking back to camp in the dark would still be dangerous.

I wanted to interrupt her. That's when I realized she was asleep in my arms.

In the dim light, her fair face was bathed in golden light. Looking at her lips, I really wanted to kiss her, but in the end, I only kissed her cheek, then gently shook her awake.

I realized she really was asleep.

That evening, there was a leadership meeting to discuss tomorrow's work.

The clerk sitting next to me asked where I had been. At that moment, she surprisingly told me the truth, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

Perhaps because my senior and I were usually close, there wasn't much gossip. We just talked about watching the sunset together the next day.

My senior only talked about how beautiful the sunset was and what we were discussing. Of course, we omitted any physical gestures.

During the meeting, my senior didn't even glance at me, and I sadly lowered my head to take notes. Maybe I was just imagining things.

After the meeting, everyone went about their own business; some continued chatting, while others went back to their rooms to rest. I stared blankly as my senior walked out the door, desperately hoping she would turn around and look at me.

Suddenly, the clerk asked me why I hadn't spoken during the meeting, and I just said I wasn't feeling well.

Nothing happened the next two or three days. Then, at the campfire party on the fourth night, everyone performed wildly. The programs, planned last semester, were naturally very exciting. I also took the opportunity to let loose and temporarily forget my worries.

When the beer was served, I drank one glass after another. Actually, I wasn't the only one drinking like that; some people drank even more than me. So no one noticed what was wrong with me. Then my senior came over to toast me, and I really wanted to hug her.

She asked if I could sit there. Of course, I cleared a small patch of grass where no one had vomited (I hadn't vomited yet), and we sat down together to drink.

As we drank, she said she needed to go to the restroom. I figured she either needed to pee or grab the toilet.

I helped her as she staggered, and sure enough, she vomited after less than five steps. At that point, not only were the guys vomiting haphazardly, but several girls had also vomited, and even I was feeling nauseous.

After vomiting a few times, she seemed to regain some consciousness. Actually, girls vomiting after drinking doesn't necessarily mean they're dead drunk. As long as they're still relatively normal afterward.

My senior said she wanted to get some fresh air, so I led her away from the crowd. We sat down about 200 meters away. It was pitch black everywhere except near the campfire. She then asked me to massage her, saying she wasn't feeling well after drinking. I knew exactly what she was thinking.

She took off her coat herself, and I, too, didn't hold back. Perhaps emboldened by the alcohol and the fact that my senior had been ignoring me these past few days, I became quite bold.

Actually, I don't know how to massage or caress others. I just gave her a few random shoves, then my hands gradually moved from her back to her chest, and while I was still massaging under her armpits, I could already feel the softness of her breasts.

Wan Jun's breasts are famously large; guys usually glance at them intentionally or unintentionally when they see her. My body gradually leaned towards her back, perhaps just wanting to relive the dream from three days ago.

I couldn't resist any longer and hugged Wan Jun tightly. At this moment, I heard my senior panting, and I myself was burning with desire.

I pushed Wan Jun down to the ground, looking at my senior with her eyes closed. She seemed to tacitly approve of my actions.

My senior is taller than me, so I could kiss her breasts while taking off her pants. Watching her heaving breasts, I quickened my pace, and when I took off her pants, I realized that my senior wasn't wearing underwear, and her bra was front-opening.

I didn't dare to undress my senior completely, in case someone came and I wouldn't have time to put it back on. Actually, at that time, people near the campfire couldn't see the dark areas because of the firelight; it was just a precaution. So I only pulled my senior's sweater up above her chest and opened her bra. She

was still wearing jeans with one leg on, and somehow, my penis just slipped inside.

My senior's breasts were really big. I kissed, licked, and bit them, making her pant. Although it was noisy, she didn't dare make a sound, and I was extra careful, constantly glancing ahead.

It was my first time having sex with a woman, so I ejaculated quickly, and inside her.

I'd seen porn and masturbated before, and I knew what it felt like to be close to ejaculation, but this was my first time. I simply couldn't control myself.

Only after ejaculating inside did I feel a pang of regret. For the sake of momentary pleasure, I had caused such a terrible situation.

But my senior didn't seem to have orgasmed yet, and didn't seem to notice I had ejaculated inside her. Maybe she was just drunk and confused. My mind suddenly cleared. I realized I had caused a disaster. I

quickly put my senior's clothes back on, made sure everything was in order, and even looked around to make sure she wasn't wearing underwear, lest I, in my drunken state, had mistakenly left her underwear at the scene.

By then, my senior was a complete mess, unable to walk. I felt even more guilty, as if I had raped her while she was drunk.

I dragged her back to her room, where a few sober junior girls took her in.

That night, I couldn't sleep, terrified. What terrified me even more was that when I showered, I discovered blood on my penis.

Back at school, I couldn't concentrate on my studies. The memory of that day's intimacy kept replaying in my mind, along with the shadow of fear. I wanted to talk to my senior, but I couldn't muster the courage. I also decided to bury my head in the sand, hoping she wouldn't remember what happened that day. So I didn't go to the club again.

But what was bound to happen still happened.

A month and a half later, my senior came to my room where I was staying out. I had to do an experiment that day, so I didn't get back to my room until 9 pm. My senior had been waiting outside my door for two hours.

After I invited her in, her tears wouldn't stop. She buried her face in my shoulder and cried.

She said she hadn't had her period for two months. My head went blank. Luckily, she hadn't had a proper checkup yet, so she wasn't sure if she was pregnant or not. She didn't dare tell her boyfriend, nor did she dare go to the OB-GYN alone, meaning she wanted me to go with her.

She said she'd bought a pregnancy test at Watson's, but the label said it was only valid 10 to 15 days after her period was due. By the time she realized something was wrong, two months had passed.

Okay! I had to take responsibility. We agreed on a time, when her boyfriend wasn't around, and went for the checkup.

At the hospital, they did an ultrasound, and I was relieved—nothing was wrong.

That night, she stayed in my room, of course using a condom.

Only then did I clearly see my senior's body. She seemed to be liberated, thankfully I had the stereo and TV on full blast, drowning out her screams.

Squeezing her soft, large breasts, I watched my penis, like something out of an adult film, enter and exit her body, her screams rising with each thrust. My kisses followed

her long, slender legs from her toes down to her genitals, until my tongue was inside her.

She turned and bent down to kiss my genitals. We had been using condoms, but she said she was on birth control pills, so we ended up going all out. Every time I was about to ejaculate, she asked me to ejaculate inside her or in her mouth.

I didn't sleep all night, ejaculating five or six times. Her genitals and mouth were overflowing with my semen.

Her breasts were covered in semen, lip prints, and teeth marks, especially around her nipples, which were red, swollen, and hot. But I was like a wild horse, relentlessly attacking her most vulnerable areas.

My mouth was full of her vaginal fluid.

I squeezed her buttocks hard, leaving large and small finger marks, and the inside of her thighs, rubbed raw by my thrusts, were stained with bright red marks.

As my tongue darted around her vagina, I also sucked and bit her labia. She orgasmed countless times from my frenzy. Seeing my senior's eyes roll back and her body begin to writhe, I thrust even harder.

As her moans grew louder and louder, I bit down hard on her nipples. My senior usually seemed innocent, her tall figure graceful as she walked, especially alluring as her long hair blew in the breeze.

Now she was lying on the bed, and I, like a male dog, mechanically performed the same movements.

When she placed her hands on the edge of the bed, her legs straight and spread apart, I watched helplessly as my penis penetrated her section by section, then suddenly thrust forward. Then I slowly pulled out.

It was almost dawn when my senior was exhausted. I examined her body closely; it was covered in semen, teeth marks, lip prints, and handprints. She began to tremble again, and I could see her everted labia beneath her thick pubic hair. I thought this was probably the last time.

I squeezed her breasts hard and pushed her forward. She screamed a few times, then slumped down like a limp rag doll, seemingly unconscious. We played like this for four or five days, skipping class.

The next afternoon, she said I'd kissed her all over, and she was too ashamed to face anyone. So she hid for a while, but that hid lasted a week. Even Xiaoming, the senior, lied and said he was going on a trip to the south. During

those days, I secretly took her out to dinner late at night.

Until summer vacation, she often came to meet me like this, and I wasn't even sure how it went until she broke up with her boyfriend. It seemed our relationship was based on sex, so we didn't really care about each other's feelings.

Even so, I still wanted her to belong to me. I never went to see her, nor did I ever walk on campus. So no one knew what I was doing.

Once, I asked Wanjun if it was really her first time during that camp, because I saw blood that day.

She replied that she and her boyfriend had been together for two years, but it had always been very proper. At most, they'd kiss.

That day, she just wanted to be intimate with me. But I impulsively forced my way in.

I don't know if their breakup was really because of me, or if Xiaoming found out about us, or if she told him herself.

But after the breakup, I never saw him again. Maybe it was because he was in the military, or maybe he simply didn't want to see me.

My senior told me that she wasn't really in love with my boyfriend when they first got together. She was worried about the judgmental looks she'd receive if they broke up within the club. Then she met me, and she felt I was the ideal partner.

After my boyfriend went to the military, we gradually felt more comfortable being together openly on campus.

Of course, we both left the clubs. My senior will graduate in six months, and if she falls for someone else, I have no right to stop her. Because I once stole my best friend's heart and his woman. And this person I love also abandoned her boyfriend of two years for me.

Therefore, if I can't have her, I should accept it without regret

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