[Urban] Who Will Have Sex with You Tonight (Complete) - 31-33

Before leaving work in Chapter Eleven

, Ms. Chen quietly told Zhang Chu to stay a little longer. However, Zhang Chu had already arranged to meet Shi Ming at 7 PM in front of the Wenxin Restaurant for dinner and a movie before heading home. Zhang Chu had just returned from a business trip and was going to Zhangjiagang with Xiao Xu the next day, feeling a little guilty towards Shi Ming. Inviting her out for dinner was a way of making amends. But if Shi Yun were home, Zhang Chu probably wouldn't leave. In this respect, Zhang Chu was unaware that he felt differently about Shi Yun and Shi Ming.

Shi Ming, unaware that Zhang Chu was going on another business trip the next day, jokingly told him something when she received his call.

The office closes at 6 PM. It takes Zhang Chu 15 to 20 minutes to cycle from his office to the Wenxin Restaurant in Xinjiekou, the city center. And even after closing time at 6 PM, not everyone in the office might have left. Because of his relationship with Ms. Chen, Zhang Chu was extra cautious, so he couldn't go to her office until at least 6:15. It would take him at least five minutes to ride his bicycle downstairs.

This meant it would take him at least forty minutes to get to the Wenxin Restaurant in Xinjiekou. Since Ms. Chen had invited him to her office, it was unlikely the meeting would be over in twenty minutes. Based on this calculation, Zhang Chu knew he couldn't possibly reach the dining hall to see Shi Ming before 7:00. Therefore, Ms. Chen's invitation put Zhang Chu in a difficult position. As

the end of the workday approached, Zhang Chu became restless in his office. He worried that Shi Ming would be unhappy waiting. Furthermore, he was nervous, thinking that Ms. Chen would definitely want to do something with him. He wasn't emotionally invested, nor could he. Zhang Chu believed that Ms. Chen was just playing modern "pop" with him, trying to add some excitement to his boring office life. Such ambiguous relationships between men and women are not uncommon in government offices. Everyone works every day, their office doors closed, with nothing to do all day, and over time, boredom can set in. If two people get along well, they can make a cup of tea, sit facing each other across a desk, chat about their feelings, share stories, and have companionship while watching movies or dancing. They can also look after each other when traveling for work, making work in the government office a unique experience. But Zhang Chu, besides being nervous, also had some doubts about himself. He had worked in the government office for three or four years, and had many romantic relationships with various women, but he had never gotten his feet wet. Now, however, he had fallen for Ms. Chen so quickly. He didn't understand himself. He thought that perhaps Ms. Chen's breasts played a key role. From the moment he got into the car and saw Ms. Chen that day, his mind had been focused on her breasts. Men always have a desire to touch a woman's beautiful breasts, and Zhang Chu was no exception.

Zhang Chu sat in his office, questioning himself as he waited for the right moment. With fifteen minutes left before the end of the workday, some people in the department had already started leaving. Zhang Chu couldn't find anything better to do, so he picked up the phone and called Shi Yun. Shi Yun was both happy and uneasy when she received Zhang Chu's call. This was the fifth call Zhang Chu had made that day. She thought that the frequency of his calls meant he cared about her, but it also meant he was lonely, or perhaps harboring some desires. Shi Yun understood perfectly what kind of desires Zhang Chu was experiencing, and she knew she had to find a way to extinguish them. This was the thing that worried her most about Zhang Chu when she went back to her hometown. She remembered that when they were dating, she had once been angry with Zhang Chu, tears welling in her eyes, but he still wanted her. When she resisted, he said, "You can be angry with me later. Right now, I only think about you, and I won't listen to anything you say." Afterwards, Shi Yun forgot about the incident. But Zhang Chu remembered and asked Shi Yun, "What were you angry about just now? I accept your punishment now." Upon hearing this, Shi Yun sighed and said, "After being so sweetly tormented by you, I don't even remember what I was angry about." Zhang Chu laughed and said, "Now I know. Next time you're angry, I'll sweetly torment you." From then on, whenever Shi Yun was upset with him, Zhang Chu would playfully tease her and then sweetly torment her. Shi Yun couldn't bring herself to truly be angry with Zhang Chu. Zhang Chu would do anything he wanted, anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances.

Thinking of this, Shi Yun subtly reminded Zhang Chu on the phone not to forget his contract of servitude, telling him he wasn't free, that he had sold his body and feelings to her, and that she had kept them all in her heart. Zhang Chu was deeply moved, but the more moved he was, the more uneasy he felt. His unease wasn't due to Shi Yun, but rather to Ms. Chen's sudden intrusion into his life. With Shi Ming by his side, he felt somewhat at ease. He always considered Shi Ming to be Shi Yun's sister, and since he loved Shi Yun, it wasn't wrong for him to fall in love with her sister as well. However, his relationship with Ms. Chen had previously been just that of ordinary colleagues, and now it had suddenly escalated to this point, which Zhang Chu found somewhat absurd. Therefore, after hearing Shi Yun's words, he wanted to move her and strengthen his position in her heart, thus overcoming some of the psychological unease caused by this absurdity. He told Shi Yun, "I'll come to Qingdao to see you in a few days." Shi Yun smiled and asked, "Do you miss me?" Zhang Chu tried to exaggerate his longing before conveying it to Shi Yun. He told her, "I can't sleep at night thinking about you. Do you know what I'm doing?"

Shi Yun asked, "What am I doing?" Zhang Chu said, "I'm looking at your photos, and every time I look at one, I kiss it." Hearing this, Shi Yun felt a warmth in her heart. She told Zhang Chu that her mother was going through the early retirement process, preparing to go home to help her take care of her child. Her mother didn't trust her to take care of the baby, and even less so Zhang Chu, saying that Zhang Chu only knew how to play with his wife and was never serious. Finally, Shi Yun asked Zhang Chu, "Do you know what my mother said about you?" Zhang Chu replied, "How would I know? Anyway, your mother won't say anything good about me." Shi Yun said, "This time she said something even worse." Zhang Chu quickly asked, "What did she say? Tell me quickly." Shi Yun said, "She said you were fighting with the baby for milk, and you looked more like the baby's older brother than a father!" Hearing this, Zhang Chu laughed and said to Shi Yun, "Why didn't she say I was the baby's younger brother?" Upon hearing this, Shi Yun immediately burst into laughter on the phone and said to Zhang Chu, "You're so shameless! I'll tell my mother what you said, and see what she says about you then." Just before hanging up, Zhang Chu and Shi Yun exchanged a few more affectionate words on the phone, and Shi Yun specifically reminded Zhang Chu, "If you're not good enough when you're thinking about your wife, she won't treat you well when you get home."

Zhang Chu hung up the phone, his mind in turmoil once again. Finally, it was 6:15. He opened his office door, glanced down the hallway to make sure no one was there, locked the door, and hurried to Ms. Chen's office. He was so nervous he didn't even dare knock, instead reaching for the doorknob. He tried twice, but it wouldn't budge; the door was locked. Just as Zhang Chu was about to knock, the door opened. Seeing it open, he quickly went inside. Ms. Chen immediately closed the door and locked it again.

Zhang Chu was even more flustered than before. He placed his hand on Ms. Chen's chest, feeling her heart to see if it was beating as fast as his. Then, he released her, walked to her desk, sat down, and looked at the table to calm himself. Seeing Zhang Chu sitting there so uneasy, Ms. Chen went over, knelt down, and hugged him, whispering in his ear, "You seem a little afraid of me." Hearing Ms. Chen's words, Zhang Chu turned to look at her, then pressed his face against hers, embracing her tightly. Ms. Chen reached out and placed her hand on the other side of Zhang Chu's face, gently stroking it. After stroking him for a while, she stood up, sat on Zhang Chu's lap, and kissed him. Seeing that Zhang Chu still wasn't making a move, Ms. Chen said to him, "Don't think I'm bad. If you treat me well, I'll tell you later."

Zhang Chu quickly explained, "That's not what I meant. Before you asked me out, I already made plans with a classmate. He's waiting for me at home at seven o'clock, and then we'll go to another classmate's house together." Ms. Chen chimed in, "I know you're busy. Your partner's not home, so you're out having fun. What's wrong with me?" Zhang Chu smiled faintly and said, "It's true, I'm not lying to you." Ms. Chen said, "I know you're not lying to me, but I can see in your eyes that you have no heart for me." Hearing this, Zhang Chu quickly put one arm around Ms. Chen's neck and the other inside her breasts, saying, "I've never been unfaithful to my partner. I'm a little scared." Ms. Chen kissed Zhang Chu and said, "You got the better end of the deal, and you're still acting innocent. Tomorrow when we go to Zhangjiagang, don't lie to Xiao Xu; he's not married yet. I heard you two were very close when you lived in the single dormitory. There are many good friends among your office colleagues, but not many with real feelings; most are just for company. You've changed a lot since you first came here; don't follow bad influences." I've heard your husband is a good person, excellent at his job, and devoted to you. Some people in the department talk about you behind your back, saying you've slept with quite a few girls. But after getting to know you, I realized you're all about looks, not substance. I guess people from the countryside are like that, a bit cautious.

Hearing Ms. Chen's words, Zhang Chu felt a pang of shame. He pinched her breast hard and said, "You're trying to find out my secrets like this? I thought you were just looking for some pleasure." Ms. Chen said, "If I didn't know you, would I just give myself to you? Would I just give myself away like that? I didn't want to tell you this, but after seeing you avoid me all day, I told you. If you want me in the future, just tell me. My heart is with you."

Ms. Chen's words left Zhang Chu feeling conflicted. Ms. Chen said she needed him, that he could satisfy his pride as a man. On the other hand, since Ms. Chen had contacted him and slept with him, a possessive desire naturally arose in his heart, and subconsciously he wanted to keep her by his side. No man ever thinks he has too many women; some men are simply forced to fall in love with one woman and abandon another. The psychological defense that Zhang Chu had maintained for Shi Yun had been broken down since Shi Ming came into his life. His psychological journey with Ms. Chen became much simpler; he accepted it all almost without needing any persuasion. For some men, some things don't not happen, but rather when they will happen, or whether the conditions are right for them to happen.

But in Zhang Chu's heart, Shi Ming was a real, tangible love, a love that touched his very soul. He had experienced all the emotions—longing, yearning, pity, giving, joy, and pain—with her. But he didn't have these feelings for Ms. Chen. Many men's fondness for women stems from primal desires. The appearance of Ms. Chen, to a certain extent, filled this psychological void for Zhang Chu, which was the main factor in his acceptance of her, though Zhang Chu was unaware of it.

However, when Zhang Chu was grappling with these thoughts, he couldn't quite put his finger on them. He didn't look at the lower aspects of human nature; he always considered himself a person of taste and refinement, and he consistently rejected the temptations of low-class and tasteful things. Much of his rejection stemmed from a resistance to a certain aspect of himself.

From the moment he entered, his mind had never left Shi Ming. Shi Ming occupied his heart; or rather, his love for Shi Ming was as deep as his love for Shi Yun. Under the shadow of this love, or rather, under this emotional state, it was difficult for him to reciprocate further when Ms. Chen touched his body. Seeing that Zhang Chu still couldn't relax, Ms. Chen said, "Don't think about going to see your classmates; I'll let you go later." Then, she reached out and gently grasped Zhang Chu's penis, asking, "Do you want to kiss me?"

Hearing Ms. Chen's question, Zhang Chu's body suddenly went weak. Should he refuse? But his penis stirred restlessly in Ms. Chen's hand, uncontrollable by his own willpower; it had its own rules of motion. Should he go in? He still felt guilty towards Shiyun and Shiming, especially towards Shiming. Furthermore, his lovemaking with Shiyun and Shiming was different from his lovemaking with Ms. Chen. When Zhang Chu made love with Shiyun and Shiming, as soon as his penis entered their bodies, he would engage in sexual play, saying inappropriate things to arouse them, making their bodies even more erect, and then they would have a wild time, both finding pleasure. Even after lying down, the passion remained, the pleasure endless. But his lovemaking with Ms. Chen was simple and straightforward, without any added sexual games; he would just thrust all the way in, and then it was over, the sexual pleasure gone.

Therefore, when Ms. Chen asked Zhang Chu this question, he didn't answer. Ms. Chen assumed Zhang Chu's silence meant he wanted her. She pulled him up, pulled down his underwear from under his skirt, and then made him sit down. She sat on top of him, reached into his pants, pulled out his penis, and thrust it inside her.

As soon as his penis entered her, Ms. Chen seemed to lose control. She tightly wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her head on his shoulder, bit his shoulder blade, and bounced her lower body against him. While she bounced, Zhang Chu looked out the window, listening intently to the sounds outside the door, without cooperating with her movements. As her bouncing intensified, Zhang Chu suddenly heard footsteps in the corridor. His heart tightened; he immediately pressed Ms. Chen down firmly, preventing her from moving, and held his breath, listening intently to the footsteps outside. The footsteps stopped in front of an office door, then the door opened, and someone went inside. After a long while, footsteps began to sound again, the door closed, then the footsteps headed towards the stairwell, down the stairs, and disappeared. Zhang Chu finally breathed a sigh of relief. He reached out and squeezed Ms. Chen's breast hard, as if to calm himself down. His penis, which had somehow slipped out of Ms. Chen's body, hung limply below her, as if it had been wronged and was still angry. Ms. Chen picked it up and rubbed it in her hand, seemingly half-heartedly. Zhang Chu then wrapped his arms around Ms. Chen's waist, pressing his face against her breasts, sinking firmly between them, as if enjoying some kind of solace for the unease brought on by tension. Ms.

Chen rubbed Zhang Chu's penis for a while, but seeing that he didn't react, she felt somewhat helpless. She thought that Zhang Chu was probably thinking about leaving, so he wasn't in the mood. But what Ms. Chen couldn't understand was, could even the best of friendships surpass the pleasure of sex? Ms. Chen could only conclude that Zhang Chu might not have fully accepted her yet.

After a while, Zhang Chu finally lifted his head from Ms. Chen's bosom and told her that it was seven o'clock and he had to leave. Ms. Chen couldn't resist the urge, but she couldn't force Zhang Chu to stay. So she reached out and roughly touched Zhang Chu's body, as if grasping at his body one last time, especially his penis and testicles, rubbing and scratching repeatedly. Then she stood up, pulled Zhang Chu up, and hugged him tightly. She whispered in his ear, "My heart is with you. I want you to accept me slowly." Only then did she let go of Zhang Chu.

After letting go, Ms. Chen told Zhang Chu to go first, saying she would leave later.

When Zhang Chu arrived at Wenxin Restaurant, it was already 7:30. Shi Ming saw him and asked him why he was so late. Upon seeing Shi Ming, Zhang Chu's heart completely shifted away from Ms. Chen. He told Shi Ming, "I'll tell you later." He then took Shi Ming's hand and led her into the restaurant. Shi Ming, however, stubbornly refused to go, saying, "I won't go in until you tell me." Zhang Chu embraced Shi Ming at the restaurant entrance, saying, "I'll tell you while we eat, isn't that enough?" Shi Ming felt a surge of intoxication at Zhang Chu's embrace. Women are easily moved, especially since Zhang Chu always appeared so tender and affectionate towards her; Shi Ming couldn't bear to waste that feeling. Hearing Zhang Chu's words, she pretended to compromise and took his hand to go inside with him.

After they were seated, Zhang Chu ordered several dishes: cold jellyfish salad, cinnamon-scented shrimp, stir-fried duck gizzards, toon sprouts with silver fish, steamed river crab, and more—all of Shi Ming's favorites. Looking at them, Shi Ming's heart overflowed with sweet affection. After the waiters left, Shi Ming wrapped her arms around Zhang Chu's neck and said in a coquettish voice, "Quickly confess, why did you make me wait so long?"

Seeing Shi Ming's charming demeanor, Zhang Chu's heart was already filled with a warm glow. He mimicked her tone, speaking softly, "I was in a hurry to get here too, but I haven't prepared some documents yet. She's going on a business trip tomorrow, and I'm so sad. Who will keep her company, leaving this poor girl alone? I asked her out, and now I'm late, making her angry. My good intentions have backfired. Punish me! Punish me with kisses, the more the better, I won't beg for mercy!"

Shi Ming was overjoyed. She rested her head on Zhang Chu's chest, her hands caressing his face. It was a scene of exquisite beauty, soft and fragrant, filled with sweet affection. If they weren't in a restaurant, Zhang Chu would have already embraced Shi Ming and kissed her to his heart's content. People at the next table looked over, their eyes bloodshot with envy. Seeing the waiter bringing the food, Zhang Chu nudged Shi Ming, urging her to sit up. After Shi Ming sat up, she lightly patted Zhang Chu's face again, as if to say, "Why did you push me up?" Zhang Chu also rubbed Shi Ming's arm, then filled her glass with wine and told her to eat.

The two sat in the restaurant until after ten o'clock before leaving. Zhang Chu suggested watching a movie, but Shi Ming had no interest in it and only wanted to go back and be intimate with Zhang Chu. Zhang Chu complied, got on his bicycle, took Shi Ming with him, and rushed home. When they arrived home, Shi Ming was surrounded by a fragrant breeze, and Zhang Chu, in his nature, was like a fish leaping in water, their conversation flowing freely through the night.

The next day, Zhang Chu, Xiao Xu, and the driver went on a business trip to Zhangjiagang. When Zhang Chu left, Ms. Chen hadn't arrived for work yet, and after getting into the car, Zhang Chu felt somewhat sickly.

Chapter Twelve:

Xiao Xu was from Nanjing City, and she joined the government a year later than Zhang Chu. There was a dormitory for her in the government, but she rarely stayed there, usually going home after work. On Friday and Saturday nights, he often stayed in the single dormitory. On these nights, single men and women would often get together, bragging, spreading rumors, flirting, and engaging in all sorts of playful banter. When Zhang Chu lived in the single dormitory, if he wasn't going to Shi Yun's place, he would mostly hang out in the women's single dormitory, fooling around with his female colleagues. Since he and Xiao Xu were both virgins, when Xiao Xu was around, he would often hang out in her dormitory, enjoying some lighthearted banter with her. Over time, Xiao Xu actually developed genuine feelings for Zhang Chu and became very attentive to him. Later, she realized that Zhang Chu was just a sentimental person; he was all talk and no action, but his heart was filled with unsettling emotions, with only his girlfriend Shi Yun's bright sunshine above him. From then on, she abandoned those feelings and became a close friend of Zhang Chu, and the two talked about everything.

Once, in Xiao Xu's dormitory, Xiao Xu wanted to test Zhang Chu's character, so she deliberately said that Zhang Chu must admire lofty things. To her surprise, Zhang Chu bluntly told Xiao Xu that he had never admired lofty things since childhood. He told Xiao Xu that when he was six years old and in first grade, he wrote the names of many important people on a piece of paper, then placed the paper on the ground and urinated on it. Xiao Xu countered that those important people didn't represent loftiness. Zhang Chu said, "When I was six, those people not only represented loftiness, but also greatness." Xiao Xu was somewhat silent. Seeing Zhang Chu's frankness, she seized the opportunity to provoke him, asking him to tell her about the most despicable thing he had ever done. Zhang Chu unabashedly said that it was hard to say, because everyone's understanding of despicable was different. "Back when I was in high school, once, a girl's mother from our village brought her daughter's clothes at night, asking me to bring them to school the next day. That night, I wanted to see what clothes were in the bag, so I opened it." Inside were three unusual pieces of clothing: a bra, a pair of panties, and an upper garment. As you can imagine, having these three pieces of clothing on my bedside table made it difficult for me to fall asleep. In the middle of the night, I tucked them into my bosom, touching and smelling them, and even put the bra on. I have no sisters, and my mother never wears bras. Before this, I had never even touched a bra. So, that night, the bra excited me greatly, and the panties had a peculiar smell, keeping me in a state of arousal. Later, I stuffed them all between my legs, sleeping with them between my legs, my mind filled with sexual fantasies, keeping me in a state of heightened arousal all night. But I felt terrible during these fantasies because the girl in the picture wasn't pretty.

I thought she was trying to seduce me, corrupt me, and drag down my grades. Thinking about this made me angry, and I thought I should punish her. I got up, went to the yard, grabbed the clothes, peed on them, threw them under the bed, and went to sleep. The next day, I went to school and handed the clothes to the girl. Hearing this, Xiao Xu countered Zhang Chu, saying it wasn't the most despicable thing, because any boy would do something similar upon seeing those clothes. Zhang Chu said, "The problem is, not all boys urinate on them. Especially after I brought those urinated clothes to that girl, I felt no shame whatsoever. On the contrary, for several days I was in a state of intense excitement. The thought of her wearing my urinated clothes made me very excited." Hearing this, Xiao Xu admired Zhang Chu's honesty. After

that, when Zhang Chu came to Xiao Xu's dorm, if it was just the two of them, Xiao Xu would often close the door, turn off the lights, and the two of them would sit together on the bed, back to back against the wall, talking about their innermost thoughts in the darkness. Sometimes, after sitting for a while, Xiao Xu would lean over and rest her head on Zhang Chu's shoulder while talking. Zhang Chu quietly held Xiao Xu's hand, not disturbing her position, and talked about things that were very distant and unrealistic, elements that touched a raw nerve. Occasionally, they would joke around. Once, Xiao Xu said to Zhang Chu, "If your girlfriend came now, I'd definitely be overwhelmed, and you wouldn't be able to escape either." Zhang Chu replied,

"If my girlfriend doesn't want me, I'll want you." Xiao Xu sighed inwardly and said, "Aren't you afraid I'll scheme to break you and your girlfriend up?" Zhang Chu laughed and said, "I'm just trying to provoke you. I'm afraid you have the desire but not the courage." Xiao Xu retorted, "You think you're so special? Who wants you? Besides your girlfriend, no one will want you." Zhang Chu then leaned closer to Xiao Xu, asking if she wanted him. Xiao Xu, while yielding to Zhang Chu, said, "Be serious, okay?" Zhang Chu continued to lean closer to Xiao Xu, asking if she wanted him. Feeling frustrated by the crowd, Xiao Xu reached out and grabbed Zhang Chu's ear, saying, "You've got guts to stay tonight, that's impressive! Don't pretend." Zhang Chu immediately sat up straight, grinning, and said, "My God, I've been dreaming of this for a hundred years! I'm sleeping in this bed tonight!"

Later, Zhang Chu got married. Not long after his marriage, his workplace allocated him a large apartment, two stops away on Beijing West Road. His original single dormitory was taken back by the workplace. Zhang Chu and Xiao Xu often chatted in the office, joking with each other. Sometimes, even after work, they would sit in the office for a while. Some colleagues gossiped about it, but they didn't care. Government work involved frequent business trips, and they often traveled together.

When Zhang Chu got off the bus, Xiao Xu was already seated in the back. Seeing this, Zhang Chu opened the door, told Xiao Xu to get out and sit in the driver's seat to chat with Master Wang, and told him to sit in the back. Upon hearing this, Xiao Xu immediately refused Zhang Chu, saying, "I don't know how to chat with Master Wang. You two chat, I'll listen." Zhang Chu said, "What's the point of chatting with Master Wang? You're more interested in chatting with Miss Xu." Xiao Xu then yelled at Zhang Chu, "Stop being so glib!"

The driver, surnamed Wang, was an old educated youth who had returned to the city after being sent to the countryside. He was over fifty years old and taciturn. He had been driving for his company for over ten years and never spoke ill of others. Everyone liked him to drive when they went on business trips.

Seeing that Zhang Chu wasn't getting in the car, he said to Zhang Chu, "Why don't you sit in the back and keep Miss Xu company?" Zhang Chu laughed and teased Xiao Xu, saying, "How can I keep Miss Xu company? Something might go wrong. I feel more at ease sitting in the front." Saying this, he stepped into the front and sat down. Hearing Zhang Chu say this, Xiao Xu reached out and tapped Zhang Chu on the head twice.

Not long after leaving Nanjing, the car entered the Shanghai-Nanjing Expressway and then drove onto the national highway, heading towards Changzhou.

This section of the highway in Changzhou was somewhat special. Every few steps along the roadside, there's a makeshift shed or shack, all hiding traffic police who closely monitor passing vehicles from their windows to ensure they don't cross the yellow center line. If a car is spotted crossing, they'll chase it down on their motorcycles, pull it over, and issue a fine. Most drivers from the province know about this ambush and drive cautiously, never daring to cross the center line. But out-of-town drivers are unaware that driving on this road guarantees a stop and a fine. Some drivers have been fined five or six times on this stretch of road.

Sitting alone in the back, Xiao Xu, unable to bear the loneliness, said, "I'll count how many cars got stopped and fined today." After counting a few cars, Xiao Xu, out of nowhere, had an idea and asked Mr. Wang to cross the line to see if the traffic police would stop them. Mr. Wang said, "Of course they'll stop us, why make trouble for yourself?"

Xiao Xu insisted that Mr. Wang cross the line, saying he wanted to see just how sharp the traffic police's eyes were.

Mr. Wang couldn't persuade Xiao Xu, so when he was a distance away from a thatched shed ahead and saw no oncoming cars, he slightly swerved the steering wheel, and the wheels crossed the yellow line in the middle of the road. Then he quickly straightened the steering wheel, moved away from the yellow line, and drove in his own lane. Seeing the car on the yellow line, Xiao Xu was excited, like a good kid who had done something naughty, and giggled in the back. Xiao Xu had only laughed twice when Mr. Wang said to him, "Stop laughing, the police are coming out ahead." Xiao Xu exclaimed "Ah!" and the car had already driven up to the police.

The police signaled to stop, and Xiao Xu in the back laughed so hard he rolled around. The police showed their warrant and asked Mr. Wang to get out of the car.

Mr. Wang took out his badge, and the police waved him over. Xiao Xu said, "This is so much fun!" Zhang Chu said, "Looks like you didn't do enough naughty things when you were a kid." Mr. Wang said, "The fine is nothing, just don't get into any trouble."

Around 10 a.m., the car arrived in Zhangjiagang. Zhangjiagang used to be just a small town, but it developed rapidly in just a few years, and many large foreign companies have set up operations there. In southern Jiangsu, this small town's extraordinary development is quite typical.

They first went to a hotel to rest, and then called the municipal government. People from the government came and picked up Xiao Xu and Zhang Chu, while Mr. Wang stayed at the hotel to wait for lunch. After arriving at the government office, Xiao Xu and Zhang Chu met with the leaders, discussed work, and then had lunch. After lunch, Xiao Xu, Zhang Chu, and Mr. Wang returned to the hotel to rest.

After work in the afternoon, Xiao Xu and Zhang Chu went to the government office again and discussed work for a while. By around 4 p.m., everything was finished. Since it was still some time before they got off work, Xiao Xu and Zhang Chu went back to their hotel first, planning to go out for dinner later.

Their hotel was on the outskirts of town, surrounded by farmland, and very quiet. Zhang Chu, feeling they had nowhere else to go, suggested to Xiao Xu that instead of going back to the hotel, they should walk in the fields and breathe some fresh air. Xiao Xu agreed. So the two walked towards the fields together. By this time, the rice in the south had grown quite tall, some of the early rice already bearing ears, the fields a vibrant green. After walking for a while, they came to a main road, flanked by towering metasequoia trees that stretched as far as the eye could see. Not far ahead was a small pavilion, with red pillars, green tiles, and painted beams, exuding an antique charm. All around the pavilion was an endless expanse of rice paddies. Under the sun, wisps of steam rose from the rice paddies, like a painting shrouded in mist.

They walked over and sat down, gazing at the rice fields before them, their hearts seemingly opened up, feeling a sense of vastness. After sitting for a while, Xiao Xu noticed that Zhang Chu hadn't spoken, so she asked him what he was thinking about. At times like this, a secret impulse seemed to surge within Zhang Chu. He turned to Xiao Xu and asked, "Do you want to hear?" Xiao Xu said, "Yes, I do." Zhang Chu said, "Don't be scared when I tell you." Then he paused and said, "I'm thinking about how to rape you."

Xiao Xu thought Zhang Chu was joking and smiled without answering. Zhang Chu continued, "There are some things I don't know how to describe, like soil, sand, and pebbles. When we hold these three things in our hands, we think about how pebbles turn into sand, soil into sand, and sand into soil, and so on. But thinking about these things is actually useless, because the transformation of pebbles into sand, soil into sand, and sand into soil didn't happen overnight. They evolved long ago according to certain rules. I often feel that when I'm meditating, my heart was made from something else long ago, and then it became what it is now. But at some point, it will change back, as if due to memories." You're sitting next to me now, and there's no one around. Almost as soon as I sat down, the thought crossed my mind: I'm going to rape you. This thought came on very strangely; it even led me to mentally replay the whole process. Look ahead, follow my hand and look ahead. There's a path in front of us, stretching far into the middle of the rice paddies.

But in the distance, we can't see the path; it's hidden by the rice. I'm going to rape you. First, I'll grab your hand and run along this path, until we can't see each other anymore, right there in that misty haze, on the edge of the paddy field, I'll push you to the ground. The rice stalks are rippling green waves around us, the sun is blazing. You try to resist, but you can't push me away, so you give up. Zhang Chu, having said this, turned to look at Xiao Xu. Xiao Xu, however, was laughing loudly. Zhang Chu told Xiao Xu to stop laughing, saying it was true, he wasn't teasing her. Xiao Xu still laughed. Zhang Chu said, "Look at you laughing, I wasn't teasing you." Xiao Xu stopped laughing and said, "Even if it were true, how do you know I wouldn't resist? Do you fantasize about raping everyone, and then no one resists?"

Zhang Chu said, "I've had this rapist mentality since I was very young, it's hidden deep in my heart and I often want to let it out. Sometimes I guess that every man has this mentality; some act on it, some never do, it's suppressed in their hearts. If you really examine it, I think rape isn't just a momentary impulse; it's actually a primal instinct that hasn't completely degenerated. However, since men have this rapist mentality, girls should also have the mentality of being raped. When they reach sexual maturity, they often fantasize about being raped and subconsciously wait for the day they will be raped. A woman is actually very lucky if she is raped by someone she likes; otherwise, she will have this fantasy for her whole life, and the existence of this fantasy, suppressed in her heart, will make her very uncomfortable. I once read a passage in a medical anatomy book that said a woman's body structure is a passive-aggressive structure. This structure is very consistent with their fantasy of being raped." Since it was rape, it wasn't complete submission. When women fantasize about sex, they initially resist fiercely, then imagine the man is very strong and finally conquers them completely, at which point they stop resisting. If a man follows this pattern to rape a woman, he will succeed. But in reality, due to social factors, most women will continue to resist.

Xiao Xu was completely captivated by Zhang Chu's words. Seeing that Zhang Chu didn't continue, she cautiously asked him, "Do you know what I was thinking about on my way here?" Zhang Chu didn't turn his head, his eyes fixed on the field ahead, and said, "On your way here, you were fantasizing about when I would suddenly hug you and rape you." Xiao Xu immediately argued, "You're talking nonsense." But Xiao Xu's voice sounded a little weak when she said this. Zhang Chu felt a little smug and exaggeratedly said, "You fantasized that I would lead you along this path between the fields, like a normal stroll. On the way, I told you a very fascinating story. This path leads very far, and we walked on it for a long time. Before I finished my story, we had reached a place where we couldn't see a single person around us."

Suddenly, I turned around, forcibly hugged you, and kissed you. You pushed me away forcefully and even slapped me.

But this slap wasn't an act of resistance; it was you telling me that you were a pure and virtuous woman.

Your body was clean. I continued to pounce on you, pinning you down on the edge of the paddy field. Green waves of rice rolled around you, and the sunlight, carried by the wind, lifted your clothes completely. You struggled for only a few moments beneath me before giving up. As Zhang Chu finished speaking, Xiao Xu suddenly stood up, picked up a magazine, and slapped it on Zhang Chu's head with a "smack," then turned and walked away. Zhang Chu quickly stood up, smiled, and followed Xiao Xu back to the hotel.

That evening, several more people from the Zhangjiagang government office came to have dinner with Zhang Chu and his friends. After dinner, everyone stayed to play cards with Zhang Chu and Xiao Xu for a while. Because the card game was being played in Zhang Chu's room, before starting, Zhang Chu wanted to call Shi Yun and Shi Ming respectively. So he went to Xiao Xu's room, pushed Xiao Xu out, closed the door, and started calling Shi Yun and Shi Ming. Before he finished the call, Xiao Xu called from outside, saying everyone was waiting for him to start playing cards and told Zhang Chu to come out quickly. Zhang Chu could only hurriedly say a few nice words to Shi Ming before hanging up and opening the door for Xiao Xu. After Xiao Xu came in, she asked Zhang Chu what he was calling that took so long. Zhang Chu said it was for his lover.

Xiao Xu said, "You two are such old flames, why are you playing for so long? Hey, you don't have a lover, do you?" Zhang Chu quickly replied, "You're the first one to know." Xiao Xu immediately said, "Don't give me that, you're still lying to me." Zhang Chu said, "How am I lying to you? I'm telling the truth." Xiao Xu said, "Come on." Saying this, she picked up a book from the table and slapped it on Zhang Chu's chest, saying, "Let's go play cards, I'm not lying to you anymore." They

played cards until midnight. After the people from the office said goodbye and went home, they all went to their rooms to wash up and prepare for bed. It was almost 1 a.m. when they finished washing up. Before going to sleep, Zhang Chu hesitated for a moment, but he still went to Xiao Xu's room and said, "After Master Wang's room lights are off, I'll come over and sit with you for a while. It's been a long time since I sat beside you." Hearing Zhang Chu say this, Xiao Xu felt a little reluctant. She said, "I'll take the key; no one will open the door for you."

After returning to his room, Zhang Chu immediately turned off the light and lay down to rest. As he lay there, Ms. Chen entered his heart. In the darkness, Ms. Chen seemed to be right before his eyes. Her full breasts, her sexy thighs, and the wonderful sensations of her caresses.

Thinking of these things, a rose-colored impulse arose within him, a longing to be embraced by Ms. Chen, to be caressed, to be violated. He thought that when he returned, he would want to indulge in pleasure in Ms. Chen's arms.

Zhang Chu thought like this in a daze. A long time passed before he remembered he still needed to go to Xiao Xu's room to keep her company, so he quickly got up. Looking at the time, it was already past two o'clock. He quietly opened the door, went out, closed it, then opened Xiao Xu's door, went in, and closed it again. Using the faint light from the window, he quietly walked to the bedside and sat down. After sitting down, he looked at Xiao Xu; her face was turned towards the inside of the bed, she was already asleep.

Zhang Chu sat there quietly, thinking nothing, doing nothing. He sat for over half an hour, and seeing that Xiao Xu hadn't woken up, he silently stood up, placed the key beside Xiao Xu's pillow, gently opened the door, closed it, and returned to his room. When he lay back down on the bed, he was wide awake. He just lay there with his eyes open, staring blankly at the dark ceiling, until dawn…

Chapter Thirteen

June passed quickly, and July was the hottest month in Nanjing. Every evening after work, Zhang Chu would bring a watermelon home, put it in the refrigerator, and wait for Shi Ming to come home so they could eat chilled watermelon.

That night, Zhang Chu lay in Shi Ming's arms and told her he was planning to go back to Qingdao in a couple of days to see Shi Yun and the child. Upon hearing this, Shi Ming sat up, looking both angry and helpless, and asked Zhang Chu what he would do back home.

Zhang Chu said he wouldn't do anything. Shi Ming, however, hummed softly in Zhang Chu's ear for a while before quietly asking if he would sleep with his sister back home. Zhang

Chu chuckled and asked Shi Ming in return, "What do you think? " Shi Ming slapped Zhang Chu across the mouth, saying fiercely, "Say it yourself!"

Zhang Chu replied, "Why should I say it?" Shi Ming grew impatient, reaching out to grab Zhang Chu's ear, saying, "No, you listen." Zhang Chu laughed, saying, "Tell it to your sister." Shi Ming angrily abandoned Zhang Chu, lying down beside him and ignoring him. Zhang Chu, feeling a bit hot from Shi Ming's antics, picked up the remote and turned the air conditioner up.

Seeing this, Shi Ming snatched the remote and angrily turned the air conditioner off. Zhang Chu still laughed, saying, "Why are you doing this? You're hot even if it's off." Shi Ming, exasperated, picked up the remote again and turned the air conditioner back on. After a while, she turned to look at Zhang Chu, trying to sound cheerful as she quietly asked, "How many days do you plan to stay home?" Zhang Chu said, "About a week." Shi Ming then asked, "How many times do you plan to sleep with your sister?" Zhang Chu looked at Shi Ming and said, "Aren't you ashamed to ask that?" Shi Ming sat up angrily, covered her ears with both hands, and protested loudly, "I don't want you to do it! I don't want you to do it!"

Seeing Shi Ming like this, Zhang Chu pulled her into his arms, wanting to kiss her. Shi Ming broke free of Zhang Chu's embrace, saying, "Don't touch me." Zhang Chu immediately released Shi Ming, lay down, and pretended to be angry, saying, "Fine, I won't touch you then. Anyway, I 'm going back to Qingdao in

a couple of days." Hearing Zhang Chu say this, Shi Ming crawled over and started hitting him. Zhang Chu let her have her way, but Shi Ming felt unsatisfied after a few hits. She reached over and grabbed Zhang Chu's genitals, squeezing them slightly, and then said to Zhang Chu, "You better explain yourself, or I'll crush it." Zhang Chu immediately burst into laughter. Seeing Zhang Chu still laughing like that, Shi Ming was even angrier, but she couldn't think of a good way to deal with him, so she said to Zhang Chu, "Don't laugh, I'll tell my sister myself, and you'll have a hard time." Hearing Shi Ming's words, Zhang Chu pretended to be angry and got out of bed, saying, "Fine, I'll sleep in that room tonight. From now on, we'll keep to ourselves. You go your way, I'll go mine, okay?" Seeing Zhang Chu about to leave, Shi Ming assumed he was truly angry, so she got up and dressed, saying, "I'm leaving too. Why am I here? I'm worthless. What good are you? What can you give me? When my sister comes back, I'm not even a human being here." Hearing Shi Ming's words, Zhang Chu felt a pang of shame and a hidden ache for her. Seeing her getting dressed, he quickly came back, hugged her from behind, placed his hand on her breast, and said with a grin, "You can leave, but leave this behind." Shi Ming pinched Zhang Chu's hand, saying, "You want this, not me." Zhang Chu then whispered in Shi Ming's ear, "I can hold your soft, white breasts in my hands, and press your slender body against my heart." Hearing this, Shi Ming felt a surge of pleasure, but she still kept slapping Zhang Chu's mouth. Zhang Chu forcefully lifted Shi Ming onto the bed and pinned her down. Shi Ming flailed her arms and legs beneath Zhang Chu, making noises, but she didn't know what to say. After a while, she felt that making a fuss was pointless, and not making a fuss was also pointless. So she simply sat up and resolutely said to Zhang Chu, "I'm going back too. You sleep with my sister once, so you have to sleep with me once too. It'll exhaust you." Hearing this, Zhang Chu hugged Shi Ming and laughed for a long time.

Seeing that Zhang Chu was still so happy, Shi Ming couldn't get angry, so she could only defiantly say to Zhang Chu, "I want it now." As she spoke, she spread her legs and welcomed Zhang Chu's body into hers. Zhang Chu immediately kissed Shi Ming and said, "That's more like it." Then he took off Shi Ming's clothes, reached down and rubbed her genitals a few times, and then gently inserted himself into Shi Ming's body. Shi Ming immediately reached out and hooked her arms tightly around Zhang Chu's buttocks, pressing him even closer to her body. At the same time, she still asked Zhang Chu provocatively, "Am I better, or is your sister better?" Zhang Chu laughed so hard he almost rolled off Shi Ming. He leaned down and bit Shi Ming's nipple, saying, "Don't make me laugh. Right now, I just want you to devour me."

Shi Ming writhed beneath Zhang Chu, her soft belly clinging tightly to his, giving him a feeling of deep, tender pleasure with every powerful rise and fall. Gradually, the heat within Shi Ming's body surged in one direction, the delicate pulsations like a dancing soul, then rising into a magnificent aura. Her entire body seemed to be pulled into that aura, awaiting a rapid ascent or descent… At this moment, Zhang Chu felt as if he had fallen into a newly cast fishing net, countless fish leaping around his body. The fish were piping hot, scalding hot, and each one had leaped into his body, swimming through his blood… Suddenly, Shi Ming let out a soft “Oh,” and a powerful spasm transported her to a world of extreme pleasure. Her body felt as if it had fallen into a pot of boiling water and instantly dissolved into a cloud of mist, rising and drifting… Accompanying the intense spasm within Shi Ming’s body, Zhang Chu felt as if his entire soul had been grasped by countless gentle, joyful little hands, held in their palms, and slowly drawn away from him. In the instant he was almost fainting from pleasure, his penis exploded inside Shi Ming, followed by an even stronger wave of exhilarating, ecstatic pleasure that embraced him… Then, he collapsed, completely limp, in Shi Ming’s arms, as if dead.

After Zhang Chu collapsed in Shi Ming’s embrace, she took the remote control and turned off the air conditioner, holding Zhang Chu close, her hand gently combing through his hair, her heart filled with tender affection. At this moment, Zhang Chu looked like a sleeping baby. His head was buried in Shi Ming's chest, his face pressed against her breast, his eyes closed, but his mind and body were still immersed in the breathtaking pleasure they had just experienced. After a while, Zhang Chu raised his head, kissed Shi Ming, and said, "It felt like I died again." Shi Ming hugged Zhang Chu, pressed her face against his, and said, "At that moment, I really wanted to die with you and never wake up again."

As Shi Ming embraced Zhang Chu, a sense of shame gradually welled up within her, as if Shi Yun were standing before her, scrutinizing her. But quickly, she leaped back from the edge of shame. She thought that she loved Zhang Chu, and Zhang Chu loved her too; Zhang Chu's love for her hadn't diminished his love for her sister in the slightest. She was sailing in Zhang Chu's ocean of love, in a corner her sister couldn't reach, and she hadn't taken anything from her sister's embrace. Thinking this, she reached out and gently stroked Zhang Chu's face, then said to him, "Tell me something about you and my sister; I want to hear it."

Shi Ming's question immediately pushed Zhang Chu towards Shi Yun, and a feeling of longing quickly filled his heart. Zhang Chu reached out, his hands involuntarily roaming over Shi Ming's body, his intertwined fingers seeming to whisper a plea, touching everything about Shi Yun on her skin. Finally, he placed his hand on Shi Ming's breasts, slowly savoring that similar tenderness and beauty. After a while, he asked Shiming what she wanted to hear. Shiming said something interesting. Zhang Chu asked what he meant by interesting, and Shiming said something you thought was funny. Zhang Chu asked, "Won't you be angry if I tell you?" Shiming said, "No." Zhang Chu then said, "Let me tell you a joke."

Zhang Chu said, "Back in college, one night I stayed overnight in your sister's dorm. The dorm had been empty for the past two days, just the two of us. Your sister was lying in my arms like this, everything was so beautiful, so alluring. Every time I touched your sister's body, I often had a desire to express something, but I could never express it. You know, I can write some poetry, and I'm quite good at it. But these poems can't compare to your sister's body. I believe the most beautiful poems in the world pale in comparison to your sister's body." As Zhang Chu said this, Shiming gently pinched Zhang Chu's hand, and Zhang Chu kissed Shiming, saying, "You are beautiful too."

Then, Zhang Chu continued, "That day, when I was touching your sister's lower body, I suddenly had an inspiration. I said, 'I want to write the most beautiful poem on your body.' After saying this, I picked up a watercolor pen from the table and was about to write there.

Your sister wouldn't let me, saying I was fooling around. I said I was serious, and if I was just making it up, you would punish me. Your sister still wouldn't let me, and told me to write it on paper so she could see it. I said, 'This poem will only have a vivid and fitting meaning if it's written there.' Your sister actually always liked me fooling around on her. When she heard me say this, she said, 'If you write nonsense, you'll be punished by not touching that area for a week.' I said, 'Okay.' After saying that, I used the watercolor pen to draw a big colored period on your sister's body and then told your sister that the poem was finished. Your sister sat up, looked down, and said, 'What kind of poem is this? You're fooling around, I'm going to punish you.' I said, 'Don't worry, I'll explain it to you. The period in Chinese is actually a symbol for female genitalia.'" Think about it, a line of poetry, a beautiful lyrical passage, no matter how turbulent, always ends at the period, just like lovemaking.

No matter how passionate a man is, he will stop with a woman. Therefore, this period is the most vivid and expressive place. Moreover, this period leaves large blank spaces inside and outside, allowing for maximum imagination. Therefore, it is also the most exquisite and profound line of poetry. Your sister laughed when she heard this, saying I was really making things up, and that she wouldn't dare look at periods anymore, because seeing a period would remind her of my poems. I continued, saying that if there were ever a book of the most wonderful poems in Chinese, it would definitely be this "period poem." A book with a big period printed on the cover, containing only one page, one poem, and that period. I think many men would buy this book, and when they open it, they might even unconsciously touch the period with their pen. They would imagine that touching it is like casting a passionate gesture into the most mysterious and beautiful place of a woman. Day by day, the period in the poem would be filled with countless dots. These dots were blue, black, red—all colors, each one a different pen they'd used at different times and in different moods. Hearing this, your sister smiled and said, "I'll give you this book of poems now; it's right here." Hearing this

, Shi Ming laughed, hugged Zhang Chu, and said charmingly, "Write some for me too. I want you to see a period in the future that's a poem written for me."

The next day, Zhang Chu went to work and asked his department head for leave, planning to travel back to Qingdao on Friday to visit Shi Yun and the children. The department head, a man in his fifties, was very humble. Hearing Zhang Chu's words, he said, "Going back in this heat won't be comfortable."

Zhang Chu said, "My wife and children are more important; I'll get scolded if I don't go back." The department head asked Zhang Chu how many days he would be gone, and Zhang Chu said a week.

The department head said, "There's no official business in Beijing right now. How about I take you from Qingdao to Beijing to deliver two documents to the ministry there?"

In government work, personal errands are often transformed into official business. This involves not only reimbursement of travel expenses but also daily meal and accommodation allowances. Generally, leaders in government agencies are happy to secure these benefits for their subordinates, as this builds a broad base of support and makes them feel more secure when doing favors for their own benefit. Therefore, when Zhang Chu heard the section chief say this, he understood the chief's meaning, immediately thanked him, and then returned to his office to call Shi Yun, telling her when he would return. Upon hearing Zhang Chu's return, Shi Yun immediately became happy and told him, "I'll kiss you a hundred times when I get back." Zhang Chu said, "Just a hundred? That's too few." Shi Yun then asked Zhang Chu, "Then how many do you want?" Zhang Chu said, "Never mind, I don't need that many. Just give me one truly heartfelt kiss." Knowing Zhang Chu would have something to say, Shi Yun pretended to be surprised and exclaimed "Ah!" into the phone. Zhang Chu quickly said, "

I only want one kiss from you—a kiss of unwavering devotion, a kiss that lasts a lifetime, a kiss that will last forever. Will you give it to me?" Upon hearing this, Shi Yun immediately burst into laughter on the phone, saying, "I already gave it to you. Did you lose it and then come to ask me for it?" Zhang Chu replied, "If it's lost, it's lost in my heart, melted away there, and can't be retrieved. Maybe you can retrieve it from my heart; I'll wait for you to retrieve it." Shi Yun immediately said, "Okay, I'll wait for you to come back and retrieve it from your heart, I'll take your whole heart out." They exchanged a few more words before hanging up.

When Zhang Chu put down the phone, he suddenly noticed Xiao Xu standing behind him, feeling somewhat embarrassed. Xiao Xu quickly said, "You didn't close the door, don't blame me." Then she chuckled at Zhang Chu, saying she had never heard of a married couple talking on the phone like this, more intimate than lovers. Zhang Chu seized the opportunity to tease Xiao Xu, saying, "Want to hear me talk to you? Do you want to?" Xiao Xu said, "I'm listening now, go ahead and talk." Zhang Chu immediately leaned close to Xiao Xu's ear, smacked his lips, and pretended to speak.

Seeing this, Xiao Xu playfully slapped Zhang Chu lightly, saying, "I know you're heartless; you don't even dare to speak." Zhang Chu, however, pretended to be serious and said, "It's all in my heart; I'm afraid you can't handle it." Just then, Ms. Chen called Xiao Xu to answer the phone in the corridor, and Xiao Xu quickly went over. As soon as Xiao Xu left, Ms. Chen came over and asked Zhang Chu what was making them both so happy. Zhang Chu casually told her that he was going back to Qingdao the day after tomorrow to see his lover, and also told Ms. Chen that he might not come to work tomorrow afternoon. Upon hearing this, Ms. Chen quietly asked Zhang Chu, "Will you treat me to dinner tonight, or should I treat you?" Since Ms. Chen had said this, Zhang Chu couldn't refuse, so he casually said, "How about seven o'clock then?

I have to meet a classmate this afternoon; I'll call you then."

After Ms. Chen left, Zhang Chu quickly closed the office door and called Shi Ming to tell her about going back.

Upon hearing this, Shi Ming told Zhang Chu, "I'll call home when I get off work; I'm going back too." Zhang Chu asked, "Why are you going back?"

Shi Ming replied, "I can't stand you being gone. I can't sleep at night. And you'll be gone for so many days. I have to go back

." Zhang Chu said, "Okay, okay, but only if someone calls you back." Upon hearing this, Shi Ming became a little angry with Zhang Chu and said, "You think you're so smart? You want to keep me wrapped around your little

finger forever? Sooner or later, I'll argue with you, and I'll say you seduced me, that you raped me." Zhang Chu replied, "Fine, then I'll just leave. No one can bother me." After hanging up with Shi Ming and sitting down, Zhang Chu felt a pang of sadness. He often worried about what would happen if Shi Yun discovered his affair with Shi Ming. He felt lost, unsure how to face that day. Sometimes he thought of simply wandering the world, like the ancients, and leaving without a trace.

But the thought of parting from the person he loved filled him with sorrow. That afternoon, before meeting his classmate, Zhang Chu called Shi Ming to tell her he might be back late that night, as he had some things to do, and asked her to go to sleep and not wait for him.

A few days earlier, Zhang Chu had talked to Shi Ming about this classmate, so she didn't suspect anything. This classmate, a high school classmate, worked at a small research institute in Nanjing and had recently gotten married. His wife used to work at a chemical plant in Nanjing, but after seeing others make a fortune trading medicinal herbs, she quit her job to try it herself.

However, she didn't know anything about medicinal herbs and ended up buying a bunch of scrap wood at a high price, losing a lot of money. Since then, she'd given up on her get-rich-quick scheme. Recently, she wanted to get a typist job in the government through Zhang Chu so she could live a more relaxed life. That's why Zhang Chu had met with his classmate today.

When Zhang Chu arrived at their house, the young couple were both there. The small studio apartment, barely over twenty square meters, felt cramped no matter where you stood. Because the house was small, the air circulation was poor, and in the sweltering summer heat, the fruits and vegetables stored inside easily spoiled and rotted, giving the room an unpleasant odor. Zhang Chu sat for a while, his forehead covered in sweat.

If Shi Yun and Shi Ming saw him suffering from the heat and stuffiness, they would surely feel immense pity for him.

Zhang Chu chatted with them for a few moments, then told his classmate that he would first work as a temporary employee and then talk to his supervisor when he returned from Qingdao. If that didn't work, he would try other bureaus; he was sure he could find a job, and he told his classmate not to worry. His classmate was hesitant to handle things in front of others, but his wife was quite adept at playing the innocent card. She told Zhang Chu that she had persuaded her husband to ask him for help, and it was only after she had repeatedly convinced him. Zhang Chu said, "My classmate is so honest; you wouldn't worry about him being away for ten days or half a month." His classmate's wife said, "These days, dishonest men are popular; men who stay with their wives are all good-for-nothings." Zhang Chu said, "My wife wants me to stay with her." His classmate's wife said, "Judging from your appearance, your wife will probably be on tenterhooks as soon as you step out the door." After she said this, all three of them laughed.

Zhang Chu's classmate wanted him to stay for dinner, but Zhang Chu declined, saying he had something to do, and left. Once outside, he checked the time; it was almost seven o'clock. Zhang Chu quickly called Ms. Chen. Ms. Chen, after answering Zhang Chu's call, complained that she had been waiting anxiously and asked where Zhang Chu was. Zhang Chu said he was on Beijing East Road. Ms. Chen told Zhang Chu to wait for her at Jiming Temple, saying they would have dinner there and then go swimming at Zixia Lake. Zhang Chu asked if Zixia Lake was still open at night. Ms. Chen said yes, it was open until eleven o'clock.

Zixia Lake is located in the eastern suburbs of Nanjing, halfway up Zijin Mountain, surrounded by mountains on three sides. The air is clean, the water is clear, and the scenery is beautiful. The lake isn't large, but the water is cool and refreshing; many people swim there in the summer. When Ms. Chen saw Zhang Chu, she first gave him a hug, and then took him to a restaurant called Emerald Pavilion for dinner. During the meal, Ms. Chen frequently made small, affectionate gestures towards Zhang Chu. Near the end of the meal, Zhang Chu told Ms. Chen, "I didn't bring my swimming trunks." Ms. Chen replied, "I bought them for you, and you still treat me like an outsider." Then, she leaned in and hugged Zhang Chu again.

After finishing their meal, they took a taxi to Zixia Lake together. The ride took only about ten minutes. After getting out of the car, they sat down on a bench by the lake to admire the twilight scenery around Zixia Lake. At that moment, the wind was calm, the clouds were still, the mountains were a deep blue-gray, and the night was beautiful. Three or four people were swimming on the opposite side of the lake. Because of the distance, they could only vaguely see their figures moving in the water.

After sitting for a while, Ms. Chen suggested changing in the changing room. Zhang Chu said, "I'm not changing, I'll swim naked." Hearing this, Ms. Chen smiled and leaned against Zhang Chu, looking somewhat intoxicated.

After Ms. Chen changed her clothes and came over, Zhang Chu stepped forward and, seeing her smooth, voluptuous body, couldn't help but feel a surge of desire. He reached out and touched her chest, and Ms. Chen took the opportunity to embrace him, wrapping him in a large bath towel, helping him remove his clothes, and then pulling him by the hand, they walked together into the lake. Once the water reached their calves, Zhang Chu pulled off the towel, tossed it ashore, and then took two large strides, submerging himself completely in the water. The surface water was warm, but the water below was cool. There was no wind on the lake, and the surface was still, save for the ripples and splashes they created.

After swimming a few laps, they stood in the shallows chatting. Zhang Chu, naked in the water, felt a sense of carefree ease. After standing in the water for a while, Ms. Chen came up and wrapped her arms around Zhang Chu's neck, her body entwined around him. Zhang Chu immediately reached out to support her. The cool lake water flowed around their bodies, soothing their souls. Zhang Chu gradually became unable to resist Ms. Chen's teasing. Knowing Zhang Chu was aroused, Ms. Chen pulled open his swimsuit, grabbed his penis, and inserted it into her body.

Zhang Chu had never experienced the pleasure of making love in the water before. The water beneath them churned, the surface of the lake splashed, and it felt as if small fish were nibbling at him from all sides, a sensation that was strangely pleasurable. Ms. Chen glided her body back and forth, and the water between them gradually surged into large waves, splashing onto their faces. Soon, Zhang Chu felt himself surrounded by small fish, nibbling and biting at him.

Gradually, he felt his body being torn apart by the small fish… Suddenly, he bit down hard on Ms. Chen's cheek, wanting to shout to her, “A big fish has burrowed into my heart! It has bitten my heart, my soul! Oh, grab it, tear it apart, swallow it!” In an instant, it felt as if the big fish had devoured him, and his soul flew away…

Zhang Chu was practically carried ashore by Ms. Chen. After getting ashore, he fell asleep in Ms. Chen's arms. But his hand still gripped Ms. Chen's breast, just as it had when he slept beside Shi Yun. When he slept beside Shi Yun, he often said to her, “My hand is a boat, carrying your breasts as they sail on the sea of my heart!”

It was almost midnight when he got home. Shi Ming was still awake, waiting for him. As soon as he saw Shi Ming, he rushed into her arms. Shi Ming hugged him, kissed him, and asked him what was wrong. He looked up and asked Shi Ming, “Shall we go back together?” Shi Ming nodded slightly, then suddenly noticed a tear rolling down Zhang Chu's cheek...

Chapter Fourteen , March 12th

. At eight o'clock the next evening, Zhang Chu and Shi Ming boarded the train to Qingdao together. The sleeper berths were divided into upper and lower sections; Zhang Chu let Shi Ming sleep on the upper berth, and he slept in the middle. Because it was a hot day, the carriage reeked of sweat. After boarding the train, Shi Ming felt both excited and somewhat unhappy. She was excited to go home, to go home with the person she loved, feeling a sweet feeling akin to a couple visiting relatives. But what made her unhappy was that once Zhang Chu boarded the train, his heart no longer belonged to her. He would devote himself entirely to Shi Yun, and she would retreat to a corner of his heart, unseen by him, even having to silently endure the agonizing pain of watching him and Shi Yun together, his tenderness and happiness. In this respect, Shi Yun completely understood Zhang Chu. After

the train started moving, Zhang Chu climbed up and sat next to Shi Ming, talking to her for a while. Across from them sat two girls from Shanghai, who had taken this train specifically to Qingdao for tourism. When they spoke to Shiming, she pretended not to hear and ignored them. Shiming felt a slight dislike for their attire, even a pang of jealousy. The two girls wore loose-fitting bras, exposing large portions of their abdomens and breasts; their denim shorts made their slender, white thighs even more conspicuous on the berth. Almost as soon as Shiming boarded the train, she whispered to Zhang Chu, "You've really struck gold on this train." Zhang Chu laughed and said, "That's right, though I can't steal your beauty, I can at least feast my eyes on these beautiful sights." Hearing this, Shiming grabbed Zhang Chu's mouth and said, "Turn your face away! Don't look! If I catch you peeking, I'll gouge your eyes out!" She then laughed at herself, and whispered coquettishly in Zhang Chu's ear, "Not as pretty as me." Zhang Chu patted Shiming's cheek and said, "You're only just realizing that?"

The train crossed the Yangtze River Bridge and soon arrived at Chuzhou Station in Anhui Province. Looking out the window, Zhang Chu couldn't help but recall his encounter with the girl he'd met during his last trip through Chuzhou. He really wanted to know where she was now. Seeing Zhang Chu lost in thought, Shi Ming guessed he was remembering their past experience. She put her arm around his waist and whispered with a giggle, "You won't be sneaking peeks at my bra color again when we get back, will you?" Zhang Chu kissed Shi Ming's lips and said, "Sneak." Then he secretly pressed his hand against her chest and said, "Even these." Shi Ming smiled sweetly and said to Zhang Chu, "Tell me some of your own stories." Zhang Chu said, "You'll get angry if I tell you." Shi Ming asked, "Why?" Zhang Chu said, "All stories about seducing girls." Hearing this, Shi Ming laughed and pinched Zhang Chu hard, saying, "Tell me one." Zhang Chu said, "I can't." "If I tell you one story, I'll tell you all my stories. You'll see how bad I am and run away. How could I bear to?" Shi Ming laughed even harder. The two girls opposite seemed to have heard what Zhang Chu had just said and laughed along. Zhang Chu glanced at them, and Shi Ming immediately became a little jealous. She said to Zhang Chu, "I won't talk to you. I always laugh when you talk."

After a while, Shi Ming still wanted Zhang Chu to tell her some stories. Zhang Chu noticed that the two girls opposite were huddled together, making some intimate little gestures between them. He pulled Shi Ming closer to him and asked her what story she wanted to hear. Shi Ming spoke as softly as possible so that the girls opposite could not hear her, and told Zhang Chu, "The story of you and my sister."

Time passed, darkness rushed by outside the window, and the carriage was bustling with voices. Zhang Chu tried to keep his voice down and said to Shi Ming, "I had a problem wetting the bed when I was little." As soon as Zhang Chu said this, Shi Ming immediately laughed. Zhang Chu said, "Don't laugh, listen to me." Shi Ming said, "You're always teasing me. I'm not laughing anymore, go ahead and tell me." Zhang Chu said, "My bedwetting problem didn't stop until I was twelve and started having nocturnal emissions." Upon hearing this, Shi Ming burst into laughter, burying her face in Zhang Chu's chest and crying that her stomach hurt from laughing. Zhang Chu put his hands inside Shi Ming's chest, rubbing her stomach and taking the opportunity to touch her all over, saying, "What's wrong with you? I told you not to laugh, but you still laugh. Do you want to hear it?" Shi Ming suppressed her laughter and said, "Yes." She turned her body to the side, avoiding the eyes of the two girls opposite her, letting Zhang Chu touch her discreetly, and then whispered to Zhang Chu, "Can't you say something nicer? You're just making me laugh." Zhang Chu, while touching Shi Ming's breasts, said, "Bedwetting mostly happens in winter, when it's very cold. When I wake up, my lower body is warm and wet. Because I was embarrassed, I never dared to tell my mother when I wet the bed as a child, and I usually dried it myself." Sometimes the bedwetting wouldn't dry all night, so the next night I'd crawl under the covers to continue. The damp blankets and sheets were very uncomfortable to sleep under. As Zhang Chu said this, Shi Ming couldn't help but laugh again. After Shi Ming stopped laughing, Zhang Chu continued, "My childhood and adolescence were spent caught in this shame and discomfort. When I wet the bed, it was usually in my dreams. In my dream, I'd urinate somewhere, and that's how the urine ended up on the bed. Later, I had nocturnal emissions, which were similar to bedwetting. I'd always dream of having sex with someone, then orgasm, ejaculate, leaving a puddle on my shorts, and then I'd wake up. But my nocturnal emission dreams were terrifying. Most of them involved having sex with incredibly ugly old women, none of whom I recognized, and sometimes even with skeletons. But that wasn't the worst kind of nocturnal emission. A few times, I dreamed of having sex with my mother, and then I ejaculated." Every time I had this dream, I couldn't fall back asleep. The next morning, seeing my mother made me feel ashamed, as if I had actually made love to her. It wasn't until

I went to university and started dating your sister that I finally stopped having nocturnal emissions. After graduating and starting work, I came back from a business trip one night, just as your sister was on her period. Because I hadn't been intimate with her for many days, I felt very uncomfortable holding her in my arms that night. Before going to sleep, your sister stroked me a few times. Then, in the middle of the night, your sister woke up first, saying her legs were wet and that I had had a nocturnal emission. I reached down and touched my underwear; it was wet too. But I knew in my heart that I hadn't had a nocturnal emission; I had just urinated. I was a little confused. I hadn't wet the bed for over ten years, so why was I suddenly wet the bed again? And this time, the dream about bedwetting was rather strange. In my dream, your sister was lying somewhere naked, her legs spread wide. I stood between her legs and urinated into her vagina, just like that, peeing on the bed. And while urinating, I felt a kind of pleasure, like a nocturnal emission. Afterwards, I quickly took off my shorts and secretly stuffed them into a trash can outside the door.

I was a little worried that when your sister washed her shorts, she would find there was no semen on them and question me. Although there was a smell of urine on the bed, your sister wouldn't think I wet the bed. Later, I kept having this thought, always wanting to urinate into your sister's vagina. As Zhang Chu said this, Shi Ming sat up, rested her head on Zhang Chu's shoulder, and whispered in his ear, "I'll go back and pee for you." Zhang Chu hugged Shi Ming tightly and said, "Some thoughts are tormenting." Then he looked at his watch and said to Shi Ming, "It's almost one o'clock, I'm going down to sleep, you should sleep too."

Shi Ming immediately became anxious and said, "Don't go down." Zhang Chu said the bed was too narrow; it wouldn't be comfortable for two people to sleep, and they'd probably roll off. Shi Ming still wouldn't let Zhang Chu get off. Zhang Chu had no choice but to say, "Then how about this? I'll sit, and you lie down and sleep in my lap." Shi Ming immediately and affectionately rubbed Zhang Chu's chest twice, then lay down between his legs, her face turned inward, her head resting on his thigh. After a while, Shi Ming quietly reached out a hand and touched Zhang Chu's suit shorts, grasping his penis, and sweetly fell asleep as if she had found a sense of security.

But Zhang Chu wasn't sleepy at all. His penis, held in Shi Ming's hand, throbbed quietly, as if it had found the gentlest and most comforting place. In the comfortable throbbing of his penis, Zhang Chu began to think of Shi Yun again, especially the warm feeling of his penis in Shi Yun's hand. When Zhang Chu slept next to Shi Yun, Shi Yun always slept holding his penis. Even in her sleep, his penis would slip from her hand, and she would vaguely grab it back. Gradually, Zhang Chu became accustomed to needing someone to hold his penis to sleep soundly. When he started sleeping with Shi Ming, she also slept holding his penis. But Zhang Chu, for some reason, became jealous and asked Shi Ming, "Do you sleep like this with your husband too?" Shi Ming, furious, immediately threw it away. After several nights like this, Zhang Chu couldn't take it anymore. Shi Ming said, "Will you talk nonsense like that again next time?" Zhang Chu quickly apologized and said no. Only then did Shi Ming hold Zhang Chu's penis in her hand to sleep. After holding it in her hand, worried that Zhang Chu might still be suspicious, she added, "You are you, and others are others. Who would hold something they don't like? You still don't know me? If you talk nonsense again, I'll slap your mouth."

It was already very late. Soon, Shiming fell asleep, but her grip on Zhang Chu's penis remained firm.

Outside the window, darkness swept past the train, seemingly endless. Sitting on his bunk, Zhang Chu noticed, in the dim light, that the two girls on the opposite bunk were still awake. At that moment, they were sleeping face to face, their hands inside each other's clothes, kissing silently. Zhang Chu quickly lowered his head, pretending to be asleep.

The next morning, when Zhang Chu and Shiming arrived home, Shiyun was already waiting to greet them. Upon seeing Shiyun, Zhang Chu immediately dropped his bag and rushed towards her. The two embraced tightly at the door, caressing and kissing each other, looking at each other's eyes, pinching noses, rubbing heads, completely forgetting about Shiming. Shiming stood outside, the door blocked by the two of them, unable to get in, and could only stand there dumbfounded, watching them be affectionate.

That scene, that passionate love, all those actions had happened to her before, and now they were happening to another person. She saw it all, and it felt as if a thousand knives were stabbing into her heart, tearing it apart piece by piece. Finally, she couldn't hold back anymore, and tears welled up in her eyes...

Just then, Shi Yun's mother, seeing the passionate embrace between Zhang Chu and Shi Yun, felt somewhat uncomfortable with such a fervent declaration of love from the young people and had already walked away. When Shi Yun realized her younger sister, Shi Ming, was still standing there, she quickly let go of Zhang Chu and went to Shi Ming. Seeing Shi Yun approaching, Shi Ming knew she could no longer hide her tears, so she simply let them flow. But in Shi Yun's heart, she thought that it must be her sister seeing her and Zhang Chu so affectionate that brought back memories of her painful marriage, causing her heartache. She went up and hugged Shi Ming, her eyes glistening with tears of heartache. Little did she know, in Shi Yun's embrace, Shi Ming so desperately wanted someone else to hug her! At that moment, tears welled up in Shi Ming's eyes like a surging river. Zhang Chu stood to the side, heartbroken and at a loss for what to do.

Back inside, Shi Yun still seemed to have a thousand emotions pent up. Ignoring Zhang Chu's longing to see their sleeping son, she pulled him into her bedroom, closed the door, and scrutinized him from head to toe, caressing and kissing him. As she kissed him, she pulled off his clothes. When her hands touched his penis, she immediately grasped it, kneading, pinching, pulling, and pressing, as if her hands couldn't quite find the feeling she desired. Slowly, she knelt down, pressing her chest against his penis, listening intently to its vibrant, captivating beat, as if it had returned to her heart after many years. Zhang Chu lovingly lifted Shi Yun and carried her to the bed. In Shi Yun's tender caresses, Zhang Chu gently entered her body. In the fiery sea of their burning desire, they kissed, stirred, and tenderly embraced, heart to heart. Soon, the two of them surged forth like a raging torrent, a torrent unleashed by a massive earthquake. Lightning flashed, and the rushing water, carrying immense energy, destroyed everything in its path, crashing down a steep slope towards the mountain peak. Finally, the torrent roared and triumphantly swept over the mountain... Afterwards

, the two rested together in bed for a long time, recovering the strength they had expended in their struggle. Zhang Chu, kneading Shi Yun's breasts, suddenly asked, "Why are your breasts so full now?" Shi Yun replied, "They're all engorged with milk. I don't want to give them to the baby. I'm saving these good breasts for you to touch more often. Otherwise, if the baby drinks too much, my breasts will sag, and you won't want to touch them anymore." Hearing this, Zhang Chu went up and bit her nipple, saying, "You still think like that? If the baby could talk now, he'd definitely argue with you."

Shi Yun laughed and replied, "Even if it's noisy, I won't let you. Who told me to find such a little lover like you? You want to touch my breasts as soon as we get into bed, it's become a habit. I can't sleep without you touching me, aren't you selfish?" As Shi Yun said this, she suddenly heard a child crying outside. She quickly woke Zhang Chu, got dressed, and went out. In the living room, Shi Ming was already holding Chu Chu in her arms. Chu Chu seemed hungry, searching for a breast in Shi Ming's arms. Shi Yun quickly went over, took her, and put the nipple in Chu Chu's mouth, then called her mother to bring the bottle. After Shi Yun's mother brought the bottle, Shi Yun took Chu Chu away from her arms and put the nipple in Chu Chu's mouth. Chu Chu seemed a little unwilling, but she had no choice but to suck on the nipple. Zhang Chu saw this and felt a little sorry for Chu Chu. He went over, patted Chu Chu's head, and said, "Poor baby, after your mother falls asleep, Daddy will take you to steal her milk." Shi Yun reached out and grabbed Zhang Chu's mouth, looking at Chu Chu, and said, "As soon as your father got on the bus yesterday, Mom was uneasy and couldn't sleep all night. She even waited for a thief to come back and he stole from Mom! Mom will tear your father's mouth open for you, so he'll learn his lesson." Hearing Shi Yun say she hadn't slept well last night, Zhang Chu felt a surge of pity for her and reached out to rub her head. Shi Ming, sitting to the side, watched, feeling as if a thousand arrows were piercing her heart. Suddenly, everything went black, and she collapsed forward with a thud to the ground…

Chapter Fifteen:

Shi Ming's sudden fainting startled everyone present. Zhang Chu rushed over and picked Shi Ming up, calling her name loudly. Shi Yun panicked, simply holding Shi Ming's head, unsure what to do. Shi Ming's mother rushed from the kitchen, touched Shi Ming's head, and said Shi Ming might have heatstroke. She turned around and grabbed a wet towel, placing it on Shi Ming's head. All of this happened within a minute, and Shiming quickly regained consciousness. When she opened her eyes and saw herself in Zhang Chu's arms, tears immediately welled up again. Zhang Chu saw this, his heart filled with tenderness, but he didn't dare reach out to wipe away Shiming's tears, only saying, "You scared everyone." Shiyun, seeing her sister awake, breathed a sigh of relief, hugged Shiming's face and kissed her, then told Zhang Chu to take Shiming to bed. Zhang Chu immediately stood up and carried Shiming to the room. At that moment, Shiming lay in Zhang Chu's arms, filled with sorrow, but unable to utter a single word. Behind them followed Shiyun and her mother. That

evening, Zhang Chu's father-in-law returned. Hearing that Shiming had suffered heatstroke, he scolded Zhang Chu, saying that in such hot weather, Zhang Chu must not have taken good care of Shiming on the way. His words seemed to remind his mother-in-law, who also joined in, saying a few words about Zhang Chu.

Seeing Zhang Chu upset, Shi Yun worried he wouldn't be able to handle it, so she said, "He deserves a beating. He'll grow up if he's not disciplined. He's always acting like a child, only knowing how to play and not how to care for others." Hearing this, Shi Yun's father quickly went to her and said, "How could I dare beat him? I said that for your sister's benefit. How could your sister not be upset seeing how close you two are?" Then he turned to Zhang Chu and said, "Pour your sister-in-law a cup of tea and take it over." Zhang Chu smiled sheepishly, but secretly he was more than happy to oblige. Shi Ming, because everyone said her fainting was due to heatstroke, was too embarrassed to say otherwise, so she lay in bed flipping through magazines to rest. Zhang Chu poured a glass of iced tea from the refrigerator, opened Shi Ming's door, and brought it to her. After entering, he closed the door, handed the tea to Shi Ming, then sat on a stool by the bed and whispered to her, "You scared me." Hearing this, tears welled up in Shi Ming's eyes. Zhang Chu quickly stopped her, saying, "Please, it's my fault." Shi Ming wiped away her tears and said plaintively, "I've begged you so many times, and you have no sense of compassion at all." Seeing that Shi Ming was about to get upset again, and worried that outsiders, especially Shi Yun, might see, Zhang Chu deliberately teased her, pleadingly saying in a low voice, "I want to be a little lewd." Shi Ming almost burst out laughing and asked Zhang Chu, "How lewd?" Zhang Chu said, "Just touch it." Hearing this, Shi Ming laughed and scolded Zhang Chu, saying, "It's all your possessions, and you're asking me?

I'll tear your mouth apart when we get back." Zhang Chu immediately reached out nervously, touched Shi Ming's chest, and then gently pinched her nose. Seeing Zhang Chu's tenderness, Shi Ming felt a little happier. She said, "Go out, don't let them suspect anything." Zhang Chu stood up and went to the living room to chat with his father-in-law. Zhang

Chu's father-in-law worked at the Municipal Bureau of Culture, was somewhat educated, had been quite the ladies' man in his youth, and was very worldly-wise. He and Zhang Chu were quite adept at discussing ancient history and classical allusions. He got his job at the Cultural Bureau entirely because of his beautiful handwriting. The Cultural Bureau often did things like issuing notices and painting slogans, which involved a lot of writing, and his father-in-law was responsible for writing those kinds of characters at work. He honed his handwriting while working in the countryside. When Shiyun's mother gave birth to Shiming, the whole family had just returned to the city from a farm in Northeast China. When Shiyun's mother gave birth to Shiyun, the family had no oil or meat at all. One night, he waited outside the Party branch secretary's house and smothered the secretary's big yellow dog on the spot, carrying it back to cook for Shiyun's mother. The Party branch secretary came to his house the next day, and he threw a dog leg at the secretary to take home. The secretary walked halfway there, then came back and threw the dog leg back to him. He often told Zhang Chu stories about his time working in the countryside. Zhang Chu, having grown up in the countryside, was also quite talkative. So, when the two were together, they often got along very well.

At dinner, Shiming's mother called Shiming out to eat as well. Because Zhang Chu and Shi Ming had returned, Shi Yun's mother specially prepared a table full of delicious dishes, including, of course, scallions and garlic, which are favorites of Shandong people. After Zhang Chu's father-in-law sat down, he said to Zhang Chu, "Today, I'm punishing my son-in-law by making him tell more jokes. I apologize for not taking good care of my youngest daughter on the way." Shi Yun, sitting next to Zhang Chu, nudged him with her chopsticks and said, "You're punishing him by making him tell jokes? He's telling all dirty jokes!" Shi Yun's father chimed in, "Girl, you know what, dirty jokes are the funniest." Shi Ming, sitting opposite Shi Yun, said, "Sister, you must have heard Zhang Chu tell a lot of dirty jokes." Shi Yun replied, "If you let him tell them, he could talk about them all night long. That's what makes him so rustic."

Hearing this, Shi Ming secretly harbored resentment, thinking she would punish Zhang Chu by making him talk all night. But aloud she said, "I thought he only occasionally spoke inappropriately, but it turns out his belly is full of vulgarities." Zhang Chu, hearing Shi Yun and Shi Ming discussing him like this, felt a surge of pleasure and wanted to amuse them. He said to Shi Yun and Shi Ming, "I'll recite a refined poem for you, written by Wang Heqing, a Grand Academician of the Yuan Dynasty. His short poems are elegant and witty, very interesting.

Listen carefully and guess what it's about." Zhang Chu then began to recite aloud: "Deep in the night, necks intertwined like mandarin ducks, brocade quilts turned like red waves, rain stopped and clouds dispersed, the situation was unbearable. Turning over, onto a person, so long and so big, so thick and so fat, disgustingly flattened like Shen Dongyang." When Zhang Chu finished reciting, Shi Yun and Shi Ming burst into laughter, especially Shi Yun, who was panting heavily while leaning on Zhang Chu. While laughing, Shi Yun kept pinching Zhang Chu under the table. Zhang Chu's mother-in-law didn't understand what he was saying and could only watch helplessly as the two girls laughed hysterically.

After Shi Yun and Shi Ming finished laughing, Zhang Chu wanted to amuse them again, so he said to his father-in-law, "Dad wants to hear a joke, so I'll tell you a story about a father-in-law committing incest." As soon as Zhang Chu finished speaking, Shi Yun and Shi Ming laughed so hard they collapsed onto the table.

Shi Ming, feeling rather pleased, said to Shi Yun, "How could my sister fall for such a person? He's full of lewd ideas." Shi Yun said, "You don't know, he's always so smug about it. In college, he had a poem plastered on his bedside table, taken from Wu Jingzi: 'The sea of love and the river of lust have given birth to children, let the mountain flowers and wild peaches follow me. Why pity the Qinhuai River, let it drift with the east wind to the four seas.'" Wu Jingzi originally wrote "The sea of talent and the river of talent have given birth to children," but he insisted on emphasizing his "love and lust," twisting the poem as if he wouldn't exist without lust, and even changing the rest to suit his own interpretation. I went to his dorm, saw it, and tore it up. But he just put it back on the next day: "Reading *Dream of the Red Chamber*, I first understood Baochai's unparalleled charm; reading *Jin Ping Mei*, I realized Jinlian's excessive allure," completing the eroticism and even having people say it was a drawing for me. Shiming, hearing Shiyun's words, felt a pang of sadness; her sister clearly remembered Zhang Chu quite a bit.

The father-in-law, hearing his two daughters discussing Zhang Chu and unable to join the conversation, told Zhang Chu, "I don't have a son or daughter-in-law, so even if I wanted to commit incest, I couldn't. Let's not talk about this." Zhang Chu's mother-in-law, hearing this, scolded the old man, saying, "You're neither old nor young, talking nonsense in front of your daughters and son-in-law." Zhang Chu's father-in-law replied, "Today, with my daughters and son-in-law, the most important thing is to have fun." Then he said to Zhang Chu, "Tell me a different joke." Zhang Chu thought for a moment and said, "How about I tell you a story about a silly son-in-law visiting his wife's family?" Shiyun, hearing this, said, "No lewd jokes allowed." Zhang Chu said, "If he's such a dim-witted son-in-law, he can't even find his way around. How far can he go?" Shi Ming, hearing this, knew there was a hidden meaning in Zhang Chu's words and laughed again.

Before continuing, Zhang Chu first toasted his father-in-law, then glanced at everyone at the table before saying, "Once upon a time, there was a dim-witted son-in-law. On his first visit to the family, the daughter was a bit impatient and invited her husband to her room before bed.

But the dim-witted son-in-law didn't know his place. That night, his father-in-law happened to be out gambling. This dim-witted son-in-law sneaked into his wife's room and ended up in his mother-in-law's bed." At this point, Shi Yun and Shi Ming were both doubled over with laughter. Zhang Chu said, "Look at how much you're laughing! I can't continue." Shi Yun said, "You're so lewd the moment you open your mouth."

Shi Yun's mother said, "Give him a good beating tonight, see how much energy he has left." Zhang Chu and Shi Yun stopped laughing and continued, "The mother-in-law was delighted to see her son-in-law grope his way onto her bed, thinking, 'My son-in-law isn't stupid; if he were, he wouldn't have groped my bed like that.' But this silly son-in-law, after getting onto his mother-in-law's bed, didn't say a word and just lay down to sleep next to her. After waiting a while and seeing no movement from her son-in-law, the mother-in-law became a little anxious. She nudged him and said, 'Take your things out.' Hearing this, the silly son-in-law thought she wanted something, so he sat up, rummaged through his pockets, emptied everything out, and presented it to his mother-in-law, saying, 'That's all, it's all yours.'

His mother-in-law thought her son-in-law was quite honest, so she pressed him further, saying, 'That thing is inside your pants.' The silly son-in-law replied, 'There are two legs inside the pants, nothing there.' Knowing her son-in-law still didn't understand, the mother-in-law simply said, 'There's also a short leg, between the two legs.'" The simple-minded son-in-law, upon hearing this, became stubborn, arguing, "I don't have short legs, I only have two." The mother-in-law, already quite exasperated, reached out and grabbed it, saying, "That's it!" Seeing his mother-in-law touching him, the son-in-law became genuinely angry and said to her, "Why are you grabbing it? It's not a leg, it's for peeing!" At this point, everyone at the table burst into laughter.

After everyone stopped laughing, Zhang Chu's father-in-law said that Zhang Chu's joke was somewhat provocative towards his mother-in-law and demanded a penalty drink.

Shi Yun, hearing this, cried out, "Dad, how could you say that?" Shi Yun's mother, hearing this, told Zhang Chu to tell a more serious joke. Shi Ming said that his serious joke was still the same old slapstick humor. Zhang Chu smiled at Shi Ming, but under the table, he placed a hand in Shi Yun's hand, then said to his father-in-law, "Let Dad tell a joke instead."

Zhang Chu's father-in-law thought for a moment and said, "Alright, I'll tell one too, just to amuse my son-in-law. It'll be a little funny, but not as interesting. After you're done, my son-in-law has to explain his reasoning. If he can't, he's not allowed to sleep in the room; he'll have to sleep on the sofa." Shi Yun's mother chimed in, "Isn't this punishing the girl too? She's been waiting for so many days, finally able to come home for a reunion, and you punish her like this on their first night together!" Zhang Chu's father-in-law, disregarding Shi Yun's embarrassment, said, "Do you think your son-in-law is a good person? He's all lust, and he thinks he can wait until night? Before the wedding, he came to my house, sneaking around and harassing my daughter in broad daylight. Now he's even more unrestrained." At this, Shi Yun blushed deeply and tried to shut her father up.

Zhang Chu, below, gently squeezed Shi Yun's hand. Shi Ming, hearing this, felt a sharp pain in her heart.

Seeing that his father-in-law was about to continue, Zhang Chu rose to offer him a cup of wine, urging him to tell his story. His father-in-law picked up his cup, took a sip, and said, "There was once a family with two brothers and three rooms, separated by a wall. The elder brother lived in the west room, and the younger brother in the east. The elder brother was rather ugly, while the younger brother was handsome. One day, they both got married. The ugly elder brother married a beautiful wife, while the handsome younger brother married an ugly one. Once the two wives entered the rooms, the beautiful wife disliked the elder brother's ugliness, and the younger brother disliked his own wife's ugliness. As a result, neither family consummated their marriage. The two brothers felt this was not good and had to find a solution. After much discussion, they decided to open a hidden door in the middle of the wall so the two brothers could switch rooms at night. This solved all their problems. But during the day, in front of others, they still presented themselves as each having their own wife." Over a decade passed like this. The eldest brother had never slept with his beautiful wife, and the ugly wife had never shared a bed with her handsome husband, always feeling a sense of regret. One night, they broke the rule and didn't switch wives. As a result, the handsome second brother fell in love with his ugly wife, and the beautiful wife fell in love with her ugly husband. But the ugly eldest brother and his ugly wife were used to each other and didn't want to separate. The four of them argued, but couldn't resolve the issue, so they went to the magistrate.

The county magistrate, hearing their story, found it suspicious and came to their house to see how they switched wives at night. When he saw the hidden door in the middle of the wall, he ordered it blocked. Then, he made two doors at either end of the wall, stipulating that the beautiful wife should use the north door and the ugly wife the south door. When the two brothers and their wives returned home, each brother and wife would use their own door when they switched wives at night, and return through the same door the next morning. This continued peacefully until their deaths. The two brothers, however, never knew that from then on, they were sleeping with their own wives.

Zhang Chu's father-in-law finished telling the story and asked everyone to comment on its meaning. Everyone said it was a bit strange and they didn't understand. Zhang Chu said, "Looks like I'll have to sleep on the sofa tonight." Hearing this, Shi Ming mocked Zhang Chu, saying, "So worried? Even if you really have to sleep on the sofa, you can still cheat at night!" Zhang Chu's father-in-law, unaware of the hidden meaning in his daughter Shi Ming's words, said, "I'll lock Shi Yun's door so he can't cheat." Shi Yun's mother laughed and said, "You lock it, I'll break the lock for my son-in-law." Shi Yun, however, said, "Zhang Chu can't even give a coherent explanation, so I won't let him in either. He'll sleep on the sofa." Hearing this, Zhang Chu knew that Shi Yun was concerned about saving face in front of her parents.

He had only intended to fool his father-in-law and make him happy, but now, naturally, he was on Shiyun's side. So he said, "Since you say so, Madam, I'll rack my brains to come up with something. I'll just say eight words. If they're right, Father, nod. If not, I'll sleep on the sofa tonight." Zhang Chu paused, then deliberately pondered for a moment before saying, "The eight words are: 'Yang is born, Yang perishes; Yin unites, Yin is born.'"

Upon hearing this, his father-in-law raised his wine glass and offered it to Zhang Chu, saying, "Daughter, you have good eyesight. Cheers!" Zhang Chu quickly stood up, drank first, and then told his father-in-law to sit down. Shiyun and Shiming watched Zhang Chu from the side, each with a different feeling in their hearts.

That night, Zhang Chu slept in Shiyun's arms, and they inevitably exchanged intimate words. Shiyun's breasts were engorged, and with the slightest movement from Zhang Chu, milk gushed out. Soon, both of them were soaked, exuding a milky fragrance. Later, the two simply took off all their clothes and talked naked while embracing. Zhang Chu, having not slept well the night before and having drunk a few extra drinks with his father-in-law, began to drift off to sleep in Shi Yun's arms. Shi Yun, however, couldn't fall asleep for a long time. Zhang Chu's penis was in her hand, a stirring of desire within her. Later, Shi Yun pulled Zhang Chu closer, snuggling close to him as they slept.

On Monday morning, Zhang Chu took the opportunity of going down to buy a newspaper to call Ms. Chen from a phone booth—a call Ms. Chen had asked him to make. When

Zhang Chu dialed her office number, it was Xiao Xu who answered. Xiao Xu, assuming Zhang Chu was calling her, chatted with him, asking how he was doing in Qingdao. She even jokingly asked if his wife had become ugly. Zhang Chu replied that nothing had changed, except her breasts were fuller. Xiao Xu laughed and scolded Zhang Chu, calling him shameless.

Just as Xiao Xu was about to continue, seeing Ms. Chen enter, he said, "I won't talk nonsense with you." Zhang Chu didn't understand why Xiao Xu was talking like this, and kept teasing him on the phone, saying, "Will you give me a chance to be shameless when I get back?" Xiao Xu wanted to laugh, but with Ms. Chen sitting behind him, he could only whisper, "You're always thinking good things." Seeing that Xiao Xu didn't dare to speak loudly, and knowing there were people around, Zhang Chu said, "Never mind, let's talk next time," and hung up.

As soon as Zhang Chu stepped out of the phone booth, he suddenly noticed Shi Ming walking towards him and seeing him come out of the booth as well.

Zhang Chu felt a little awkward and had no choice but to go to meet her. Shi Ming pushed him towards a less crowded area and then questioned Zhang Chu, "Who were you calling just now? Why were you making a call so suspiciously outside?" Zhang Chu quickly made up a story, saying, "I called our department head. Didn't I tell you, my classmate's wife wants to find a job?" Shi Ming didn't believe him, so Zhang Chu said, "Okay, I'll call our director again. You can go up and ask him if I just called him, so you won't suspect anything." Hearing this, Shi Ming started to believe Zhang Chu and naturally didn't ask him to make the call. Zhang Chu always managed to get away with these psychological tactics. But Shi Ming still warned Zhang Chu that if he wasn't honest, she would have her sister argue with him. Taking advantage of a quiet moment when there were few people around, Zhang Chu quickly kissed Shi Ming and ran away.

Zhang Chu returned home before Shi Ming. When he came back, he brought a large pile of newspapers and magazines. Shi Yun saw them, put away Zhang Chu's newspapers and magazines, and asked Zhang Chu to accompany her and the baby to the beach, saying it would be too hot in the afternoon to go out.

Zhang Chu agreed, and Shi Yun immediately changed her clothes. When Shi Yun stood in front of Zhang Chu, her chest puffed out, wearing a golden striped dress and a white sun hat, Zhang Chu was somewhat stunned. Shi Yun exuded the mature and voluptuous beauty of a young woman, her graceful figure radiating charm and fragrance, her quiet elegance and captivating allure. When Shi Yun noticed the look in Zhang Chu's eyes, she smiled and walked up to him, saying, "What's wrong? Don't you recognize your wife?" Zhang Chu pulled Shi Yun into his arms, embracing her tightly for a long time without moving.

Shi Ming, who happened to be outside the door, witnessed everything…

Chapter Sixteen:

Zhang Chu's week in Qingdao passed by in the blink of an eye. On Monday morning, Zhang Chu's farewell to Shi Yun at home was bittersweet. They embraced, their love as tender as mist and smoke, as ethereal as clouds and water, without a single gap between them. Finally, seeing that time was almost up, he went up to hug Shi Yun one last time, stroking her body before releasing her and leaving the room.

After leaving, Zhang Chu quickly said goodbye to his mother-in-law and Shi Ming before rushing downstairs. Shiyun followed Zhang Chu, carrying her son. When they reached the building, Zhang Chu hailed a taxi. Before getting in, he hugged Shiyun and their son tightly, kissing and cuddling them. After the car door opened, he turned back and hugged Shiyun even tighter before finally getting in, seemingly reassured, and headed to the train station to catch the 10 o'clock train to Beijing. With

Zhang Chu gone, Shiyun and Shiming felt utterly empty, with nowhere to turn.

Shiyun desperately wanted to return to Nanjing immediately, to be by Zhang Chu's side, in his arms, listening to his sweet words. But Shiyun's mother didn't want to leave her husband alone in Qingdao to come to Nanjing to help Shiyun with the child. Her mother wouldn't go to Nanjing, nor would she allow Shiyun to hire a nanny, saying she didn't trust a nanny to care for the child. So Shiyun was stuck at home.

Shiyun thought that in another month or two, after the child was weaned, she would return to Nanjing. Staying in Qingdao, she felt uneasy, worried that Zhang Chu might be lonely at home and do something reckless. Before Zhang Chu returned, Shi Yun had imagined him spending many nights sitting by the bed, guitar in his arms, playing and singing melancholy, missing her and their child. But this time, when Zhang Chu returned, Shi Yun jokingly asked him if he had broken through Zhuangzi's dream, Zhang Chu replied that his guitar was probably covered in dust; he hadn't touched it since she left. Shi Yun remained silent for a long time after hearing Zhang Chu's answer.

Shi Ming had taken ten days off after returning home. She planned to stay a few more days before going back to Nanjing. Just now, when she saw Zhang Chu and Shi Yun parting, she felt completely numb, without pain or feeling. When Zhang Chu and Shi Yun came downstairs, she didn't get down; she sank deeply into the sofa, questioning herself: Does Zhang Chu love me? She felt it was impossible for a man to love two women at the same time. He loved her sister so deeply—tender, meticulous, devoted, and considerate. He had given her everything a man could give; how could he possibly love her too? She felt she had been tricked by Zhang Chu, used as an add-on to his "quality of life," and he was toying with her. Thinking this, she wanted to hate Zhang Chu fiercely, but after trying for a long time, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She even recalled the scene of lying in Zhang Chu's arms, that blissful, almost ecstatic state. Zhang Chu often told her that her body was filled with tiny, joyful hands, and if there was a heaven, it must be made up of these joyful hands. But those hands didn't know that Shi Ming only had the urge to pull Zhang Chu completely into her just before climax, to envelop him, to let him melt inside, to let him experience ultimate pleasure. When Zhang Chu was completely immersed in that extreme pleasure, her body and mind were also filled with a thrilling intoxication and joy. She thought, this is the ultimate way for a woman to conquer a man. Thinking of this, Shi Ming felt a surge of longing; she wanted to go back to Nanjing the day Zhang Chu returned. Zhang Chu had told her he would stay in Beijing for two days before heading back. Shi Ming was worried about Zhang Chu traveling alone; she felt his energy was too boundless, and a man like that couldn't possibly be still.

Shi Yun, carrying the child, came upstairs and saw Shi Ming slumped on the sofa, looking somewhat listless. She went over and sat beside her, saying, "The room feels so much calmer now that your brother-in-law's gone. His train has already left; if he misses it, it's good he can stay overnight and leave tomorrow. The baby can play with his dad for another night." Hearing this, Shi Ming felt a mix of emotions. She took Chu Chu from Shi Yun's arms and looked into Chu Chu's eyes—those bright eyes were just like Zhang Chu's, captivating and moist. As Shi Ming looked at them, her heart began to well up with tears…

After boarding the train, Zhang Chu seemed to have gained a sense of freedom, his mood exceptionally light. He lay on the bed, relaxed and exhausted, and soon fell asleep.

He was exhausted. During his time in Qingdao, he made love to Shiyun almost every night. Even if it wasn't out of necessity, he would still penetrate her, as if conveying a message of life's deepest love through it.

Sometimes, while exchanging sweet words, they would connect, experiencing the most vital emotions through it. Each time Zhang Chu entered Shiyun, he would push in deeply, until he could go no further.

For men, a woman's vagina is still the passage back to their primal home; only when they reach the innermost secret home of a woman does life burst forth with passionate joy. That kind of orgasm is incomparable to any other way.

During the day, besides attending to Shiyun and the children, Zhang Chu would also try to steal a moment to embrace Shiming, running his hands all over her body. His joyful heart leaped between the two women; his tenderness and love emanated an irresistible charm from them, like a drug.

After the train arrived in Tianjin, Zhang Chu woke up. He glanced out the window only once before reluctantly averting his gaze. Along both sides of the railway tracks, white styrofoam lunch boxes were scattered everywhere, along with tattered plastic sheets of various colors—black, white, red, and more—a filthy sight. Zhang Chu didn't want them to spoil his mood. His memory of his first trip to Beijing was too vivid. He was then a university student, his heart filled with dreams encapsulated in poetry and books. He went to Beijing almost with the fervor of a pilgrim. When the train crossed the Yellow River, he was shocked to find it a dried-up riverbed, devoid of water—the Yellow River was dead! As the train drew closer to Beijing, Zhang Chu gazed at the reddish-yellow earth outside the window, and tears streamed down his face.

His initial excitement about his first trip to the North was shattered. He had followed in the footsteps of Ai Qing, wandering the northern lands, only to find barrenness ravaged by yellow sand. Those simple, honest words, those expansive gestures, had long since been eroded and buried by the wind and sand, like the crumbling Great Wall. What his hands touched was a painful North, devoid of the sound of rivers breathing, and devoid of the gentle breath of dawn from the forests. When he left the North, he closed Ai Qing's book of poems forever.

The train soon arrived in Beijing. It was already late when Zhang Chu got off the train. He took a taxi to a hotel near the ministry headquarters, checked in, and immediately called Shi Yun. After answering the phone, Shi Yun jokingly asked Zhang Chu, "How are you going to sleep alone tonight?" Zhang Chu said, "Find a girl." Shi Yun said, "Okay, rent her out to someone else, I'll charge you." Zhang Chu said, "I'll keep her for you first." Upon hearing this, Shi Yun pretended to cry out, saying no. Zhang Chu said, "The emperor is far away, go ahead and cry. If you can't find a slender waist like me, finding a voluptuous woman shouldn't be a problem." Shi Yun said, "Then I'll make an appointment, okay?" Zhang Chu said, "No, I don't look for older women." Upon hearing this, Shi Yun immediately laughed and scolded Zhang Chu. The two exchanged some more flirtatious words on the phone before hanging up.

After hanging up the phone, Zhang Chu went downstairs to find something to eat. He ordered two dishes and a bowl of rice at a small restaurant near the hotel, ate quickly, and returned to his room. He took a shower and then lay in bed watching TV. Soon, his peaceful mood was invaded by loneliness and solitude. Gradually, he felt he couldn't bear it anymore. After spending these days with Shi Yun, he was no longer used to sleeping alone. He started thinking about Shi Yun, Shi Ming, and even Ms. Chen. After a while, he checked the time; it was only eleven o'clock. He suddenly felt a little afraid of going to sleep.

Enduring a night without intimacy was almost a test of his will for Zhang Chu.

He took out his phone book, flipped through it, and found a familiar number—Xiao Mei's number. He picked up the phone several times but then put it down again. He was worried that if he called, Xiao Mei wouldn't come, and he was also worried that if he called, Xiao Mei would come.

He just wanted to sleep with a woman, to sleep in a woman's arms; he didn't want to have sex, especially since he felt it was impossible for him to have sex with Xiao Mei. Zhang Chu believed that needing a woman's tenderness was one thing, needing sex was another.

Xiao Mei worked in a government office. She usually received Zhang Chu when he came to Beijing on business trips. There were only four people in their department: Director Li, Xiao Mei, Aunt Liu, and a typist. Xiao Mei and Aunt Liu were both university graduates assigned there.

The typist was a temporary worker from Hebei, hired by Director Li. Director Li was originally an associate professor at a university in Beijing, but he couldn't get a full professorship, so he came to the government office. Three months later, he hired a pretty young typist. During Zhang Chu's last business trip to Beijing, Xiao Mei told him that once in the office, this pretty typist slapped Director Li twice in front of them, but Director Li just smiled and refilled her teacup. Xiao Mei also said that the reason Director Li couldn't get a full professorship at the university was supposedly because years ago on a bus, he pressed himself against a girl's buttocks, wetting a large area of her bottom. This problem had been brought up every year during his professorship evaluations, ultimately suppressing his eligibility for a full professorship.

Zhang Chu struggled for a long time but still couldn't bring himself to call Xiao Mei. Then another thought came to Zhang Chu's mind. Last spring, when he came to Beijing for studies, he was assigned to share a room with a man from Guangdong. That man had gotten into an affair with Xiao Mei in that room. The man from Guangdong had thinning hair, pale yellow eyes, and especially, all his teeth were black. Zhang Chu found the relationship somewhat unsightly.

But spending a night alone was simply too difficult for Zhang Chu. For a fleeting moment, he even considered grabbing a girl from the street. Beijing has many universities, and many girls on the street are university students, mostly from small towns and rural areas, who often go out at night to find men to pay for living expenses and tuition. But when this thought crossed Zhang Chu's mind, it was almost immediately followed by a wave of shame.

Zhang Chu rested at one o'clock in the morning. He woke up just as dawn was breaking. He often had trouble falling asleep and woke up easily when he slept alone. He stayed in bed until seven o'clock before getting up. After getting up, he called Shiyun.

Shiming answered the phone. Shiming didn't dare to speak when she received the call, only saying a few very ordinary words before handing the phone to Shiyun. As soon as Shiyun took the phone, she asked Zhang Chu how he slept. Zhang Chu said the night was hard to endure. Shiyun laughed and said, "I know you have a bad habit." Then the two talked on the phone for a long time before hanging up.

Zhang Chu lingered until almost ten o'clock before going to Director Li's office. Everyone was in the office. When Director Li saw Zhang Chu, he asked why he hadn't called yesterday, otherwise there would have been arrangements for the evening. Zhang Chu said that everyone had already left work by the time he arrived, so he didn't want to bother him. Director Li was very hospitable to everyone, there was an unspoken understanding between them. The director wasn't considered an official in Beijing, but it was different in the local areas. Director Li had to travel several times a month, rotating between different provinces. He went downstairs, and since the office expenses were contracted out to the government, the provincial governments would cover his airfare, which he would then reimburse upon returning to Beijing. He could easily make several thousand yuan a month just from airfare alone. This covered the expenses of the junior typist.

After handing over the documents, Zhang Chu chatted with Director Li, Aunt Liu, and Xiao Mei. They chatted while waiting for lunch. At noon, the five of them sat at a table, eating and telling political jokes from Beijing.

Beijingers tend to downplay politics; even when families gather in the evenings, the conversation often revolves around politics. They talk about who tried to curry favor with whom and failed, or who was promoted and is about to take charge of important matters. The whole family discusses politics more like a political bureau than the Politburo itself. But Zhang Chu wasn't interested in these things; after hearing them so often, he felt a bit tired of them. However, this was almost a mandatory lesson when traveling to Beijing. Back at work, everyone would ask with concern, "What political jokes did you hear in Beijing this time?" So Zhang Chu listened attentively.

At the dinner table, Zhang Chu told Director Li that he wouldn't be going to the office that afternoon. Director Li then asked Zhang Chu when he was leaving.

Zhang Chu said he was leaving tomorrow. Director Li suggested that everyone have dinner together again that evening. Zhang Chu declined. Director Li didn't insist. After dinner, Zhang Chu said goodbye and went straight back to his dormitory. When Zhang Chu returned to his dormitory, Xiao Mei said she would sit in Zhang Chu's dormitory for a while before going to work, and then she went upstairs with Zhang Chu.

Upon entering the room, Zhang Chu felt somewhat awkward facing Xiao Mei. Xiao Mei was a graduate of Beijing Normal University and had started working around the same time as Zhang Chu. Both her parents were university professors; she came from a typical intellectual family.

Zhang Chu was puzzled. How could Xiao Mei have gotten involved with that man from Guangdong? He disliked him, finding him a very filthy person.

After entering, Xiao Mei went to the bathroom first. Upon returning, she told Zhang Chu that it was too hot, and she had sweated a lot while eating, so she wanted to take a shower.

Zhang Chu went to the bathroom to turn on the hot water for Xiao Mei. While turning on the hot water, Zhang Chu felt a little nervous; he felt Xiao Mei was setting a trap to seduce him.

While filling the bathtub, Zhang Chu sat on the sofa and asked Xiao Mei if she had recently gone on any business trips. Xiao Mei said no. Then Xiao Mei asked Zhang Chu, "You haven't been to Beijing for a long time." Zhang Chu said, "My wife gave birth." Xiao Mei said, "The water's probably ready; I'm going to take a shower."

When Xiao Mei went into the shower, she didn't close the bathroom door. She undressed inside and climbed into the bathtub, which Zhang Chu could clearly see in the bathroom mirror. Zhang Chu really wanted to close the door for her. She was showering with the door open, and Zhang Chu couldn't resist peeking at her in the mirror. Peeping at a woman showering was more stimulating than sitting in front of her watching her. Zhang Chu paid close attention to her movements as she washed her breasts and between her legs; those movements often conveyed sexual signals from a woman's body, such as sexual preferences or masturbation. Watching Xiao Mei shower in the mirror, Zhang Chu unconsciously felt a surge of desire. The hair between Xiao Mei's legs was very dark, a deep, shiny black. Zhang Chu thought to himself, "It must be very hard." This reminded him of the hair between Shi Yun's thighs. Shi Yun's hair between her legs was soft, fine and delicate like a clump of orchid-scented grass, exuding a captivating fragrance. Shi Ming's hair was like that too. He suddenly remembered the scene when he caught her having sex with that man from Guangdong. When he left, he told them he was going to a classmate's place. He walked outside for a while, then suddenly returned to the hotel. He opened the door carefully, without making a sound. He pushed open the door and saw the Cantonese man straddling Xiaomei, sweating profusely and panting. Afterwards, he thought he had acted consciously, trying to prove a hypothesis.

Before this, he had always believed Xiaomei wouldn't have slept with that Cantonese man. His confirmation carried a sense of despair.

As Zhang Chu thought this, Xiaomei climbed out of the bathtub. Zhang Chu quickly changed position, so Xiaomei wouldn't know he was spying on her in the mirror. But as soon as he turned around, Xiaomei was already standing naked in front of him.

Zhang Chu panicked and was about to say something to brush it off when Xiaomei said, "Don't be shy, I saw you in the mirror."

Without waiting for Zhang Chu's reply, Xiaomei spread her legs and sat on his lap. At this moment, the sun was blazing, and cicadas were chirping noisily in the trees. Zhang Chu held Xiaomei's body without any desire; he even felt his heart gradually sinking. He fixed his gaze on Xiaomei's chest, as if hiding there in fear of her gaze.

Xiaomei reached out and unzipped Zhang Chu's pants, trying to pull out his penis. Finding some resistance, she got off him, pulled down his pants, and then sat on top of him, reaching under his penis and playing with it in her hand. After a while, she got off him, took a condom from her bag, put it on his penis, pushed him down on the bed, and pulled his penis inside her, bouncing it against him with varying pressure. When she reached orgasm, she made continuous moaning sounds of pleasure, her body twisting and turning against Zhang Chu like a willow branch swaying in the wind.

Afterwards, Zhang Chu, as if he hadn't forgotten, asked Xiaomei, "Did you seduce that guy from Guangdong, or did that guy from Guangdong seduce you?" Xiaomei replied, "Don't put it so harshly. Life is boring; it's always good to have something to do."

Zhang Chu bought a scalped ticket that very night and rushed back to Nanjing.

He took the 9 PM train, the No. 65 express. He felt a sense of escape as he boarded the train; he felt his heart was clouded by something—lust, passion, loneliness, pleasure, experience, games, needs… all possibilities. Outside the window, the dark night sky was murky, like it was floating with mud. Inside the carriage, a corrosive, damp smell, like a woman's sanitary napkin, permeated the air. Zhang Chu leaned against the window, his eyes fixed on the outside, his mind a jumble of thoughts, like maggots crawling inside.

He was bewildered. He had initially thought he would never have a relationship with Xiao Mei; he believed she had slept with many men. Women who slept with many men were devoid of emotion, while Zhang Chu was an emotional person.

He couldn't understand how he had ended up sleeping with Xiao Mei. Furthermore, during their time together, Xiao Mei was always the one in control; she only cared about her own feelings, not what Zhang Chu gained or even whether he experienced pleasure.

As he thought this, he couldn't help but think of Ms. Chen again. Unlike Xiao Mei, Ms. Chen was the one who initiated things. After she and Zhang Chu had sex, she began to arouse Zhang Chu's enthusiasm, making him vigorously penetrate her, while Xiao Mei was the one penetrating him. Zhang Chu was somewhat reluctant to use the word "penetration" when he thought about it, but they were indeed "penetrating," regardless of who initiated it. He believed that his sexual relations with Shi Yun and Shi Ming weren't "penetration," but rather an intimate union. Sexual pleasure comes from the union of two people, and the intensity of pleasure is determined by the closeness of that union.

Thinking about this, he couldn't help but doubt his own body, something he had never experienced before. He believed that his "penetration" of Ms. Chen and Xiao Mei's "penetration" of him weren't from his true heart, but rather the behavior of his sexual organs, their needs, not Zhang Chu's inner needs or the needs of his soul. As he thought this, Xiao Mei's sexual organs appeared before his eyes—a loose, moist sexual organ. As Xiaomei was "fucking" him, she kept looking down. When she saw her bodily fluids flowing from her genitals down Zhang Chu's penis, she seemed to gain satisfaction or pleasure, her whole body becoming intoxicated, then she made some spasmodic movements and some slurping sounds. In the extremely slippery movement of her genitals, she moaned happily, her throat sounding as if there was phlegm stuck in it, which she was reluctant to spit out, letting it remain inside, making muddled and comfortable sounds, as if Zhang Chu's penis had entered her throat. Gradually

, Zhang Chu's body was covered with a pus-like substance, emitting a smell like rotten apples.

When she reached orgasm, her face convulsed into an angry expression. But Zhang Chu did not gain any pleasure throughout the entire process, nor did he derive any pleasure from her genitals through his own. If there was any pleasure, it must have been swallowed up by his own genitals. His only feeling was that his genitals had been raped by another genital, and that he had willingly been raped.

The night was deep, the dark sky flashing past outside the carriage, the rumbling of the wheels seeming to be the only sound in the world.

Zhang Chu suddenly felt the need to understand his own genitals. They hung there all day; how close, or how far, were they to his body and mind? He felt these days had been somewhat absurd—first with Ms. Chen, and now with Xiao Mei. If this trend continued, another Ms. Chen would appear, and another Xiao Mei would appear. Was a man really just one thing? If all his limbs were removed, what remained, the only thing left, was this thing—was this me? Did this thing represent manhood? If you threw this thing away and others saw it, would they all say, "This is a man"? But if you threw a man's arms, legs, head, hands, and feet away and others saw them, would they only say, "These are arms, legs, head, hands, and feet, not a man, and have nothing to do with men"?

As he thought of this, he unconsciously reached into his trouser pocket and touched his penis, as if he were discovering for the first time that such a thing existed there. He stroked it, sometimes tugging at it, as if testing how firmly it was stuck there. For the first time, he realized that a king resided here, a king who ruled over him. He decided that when he returned, he would examine his genitals to see what exactly was hanging there.

Around 2 PM, Zhang Chu arrived in Nanjing. As soon as he got home, he called Shi Yun to let her know he was home and to reassure her. This call was also indirectly a call to Shi Ming, urging her to come home soon.

He checked the time; it was only a little past 3 PM, still early. He took a shower first. After showering, he picked up the phone, intending to call Xiao Xu. But holding the phone, he worried that Ms. Chen would answer. Knowing he was back, she would most likely ask him out, and he didn't want to see her right now. He thought that if it was Ms. Chen's voice, he would immediately hang up without saying anything. He dialed, but the phone rang a few times without being answered. Just as he was about to hang up, he heard Xiao Xu call out "Hello, hello!" on the other end. Zhang Chu immediately perked up and asked if anyone else was in Xiao Xu's office.

Xiao Xu said, "You forgot? Today is Wednesday; everyone is next door having political study." Zhang Chu then remembered.

Zhang Chu told Xiao Xu that he had returned from Beijing. They chatted casually, and during their conversation, he asked if she was free that evening. Xiao Xu asked what for. Zhang Chu said he wanted to invite her to dinner. Xiao Xu said, "Don't get any ideas." Zhang Chu said, "Just dinner." They arranged to meet at 7 PM in front of the Qingchi Hotel.

After hanging up, Zhang Chu hesitated. He felt this appointment was too impulsive; Xiao Xu might think he was trying to seduce her. If she thought that, it would damage their friendship. In the organization, he and Xiao Xu were the closest confidants. He needed Xiao Xu's friendship; he didn't want to lose her. He decided that after meeting Xiao Xu, he would abandon this absurd idea.

At 7 PM, they met promptly in front of the Qingchi Hotel. Because of the heat, Xiao Xu was dressed rather revealingly. She wore a white t-shirt with black stripes and a light-colored mini-skirt, without stockings, looking youthful and sexy. Upon seeing Zhang Chu, she half-jokingly teased him, asking what wicked thoughts he had.

The restaurant was crowded, and Zhang Chu found a table against the wall. After they sat down, a waitress brought the menu. Zhang Chu took the menu and let Xiao Xu order first. Xiao Xu ordered a plate of drunken shrimp and a plate of cold loofah salad, then handed the menu to Zhang Chu; Zhang Chu ordered a plate of duck tongue, a plate of stir-fried red peppers, a soup, and a bottle of dark beer.

After ordering, they handed the menu to the waiter. After the waiter took the menu away, Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu how things were going with his lover in Qingdao. Zhang Chu smiled and said, "It's good, but it's too tiring in bed." Xiao Xu quickly said, "I didn't ask you that."

After the food arrived, Zhang Chu first filled Xiao Xu's glass with beer, then poured some for himself, and the two chatted while drinking and eating. During the conversation, that thought flashed through Zhang Chu's mind again. Once it came to him, he tested Xiao Xu with a question: "Do you think Adam was a man before he was expelled from the Garden of Eden?" Xiao Xu said, "Why do you ask that?" Zhang Chu said, "I'm wondering why Eve didn't have any children in the Garden of Eden."

Xiao Xu laughed and said, "Eve probably practiced family planning." Zhang Chu said, "God shouldn't have created humans with defects. Since they became husband and wife, Eve should be able to conceive and have children."

Hearing this, Xiao Xu immediately interrupted Zhang Chu, saying, "They only had sex after they were expelled from the Garden of Eden." Zhang Chu continued, "According to your logic, they only had sex after they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. How could they be considered husband and wife in Eden? Also, they had no clothes to wear in Eden; they were naked together, even sleeping naked together. Didn't Adam experience desire?" Hearing this, Xiao Xu laughed loudly and said, "Why do you think about these things? If you have faith in God, you don't need to doubt." Zhang Chu continued, "I'm puzzled, and I've always believed that Adam in the Garden of Eden wasn't just not a man, but not even a human being. If he were a man, his body would secrete male hormones, and since he secreted male hormones, he would have had sex with Eve. The fact that he didn't prove he wasn't a man. He wasn't a man, but he certainly wasn't a woman either. If he were a woman, he would also secrete female hormones. If he secreted female hormones, and there was no one else in the Garden of Eden, he and Eve would have had a homosexual relationship, and vice versa. Since they didn't have any relationship, the best explanation is that neither Adam nor Eve were human beings in the Garden of Eden."

At this point, Xiao Xu laughed and teased Zhang Chu, saying, "Do you think everyone is like you? Adam had willpower, he could endure, he was a standard man." Seeing that Xiao Xu was on the right track, Zhang Chu pretended to say, "You're jumping to conclusions too early. Maybe I'm more of a man than Adam." "Come on," Xiao Xu interrupted Zhang Chu, mockingly saying, "Which girlfriend aren't you greedy for?" Zhang Chu immediately interrupted Xiao Xu, saying, "That's unfair to me. Let's talk about 'us.' When have I ever wronged you?" Xiao Xu quickly cut Zhang Chu off, saying, "Don't drag 'us' into this." Zhang Chu ignored Xiao Xu's warning and continued, "I haven't wronged you in the past, and I won't wrong you in the future. Even if we were together like Adam and Eve, I wouldn't wrong you." Xiao Xu thought Zhang Chu was joking and said, "Don't be ridiculous." Zhang Chu chuckled and tried to sound joking as he spoke to Xiao Xu, "Shall we try? I bet you'll lose." Xiao Xu realized there was something behind Zhang Chu's words and said, "You seem to be setting me up." Zhang Chu stopped laughing and said seriously, "I've been very confused about myself lately, always feeling like I'm being controlled by some kind of desire." Xiao Xu lowered her head and stopped talking. Seeing this, Zhang Chu wanted to stop talking, but still said, "For example, 'us'..." As soon as Zhang Chu finished speaking, Xiao Xu's face immediately turned red, her expression became tense, and she put down her chopsticks, looking like she wanted to leave. Zhang Chu quickly reached out to stop her, saying, "I was just joking, I'm sorry." Xiao Xu said somewhat angrily, "You're just trying to play tricks on me." Zhang Chu said, "Okay, I won't say anymore, but I was telling the truth. I really want to get to know myself." After saying that, he told Xiao Xu to eat.

After a while, Xiao Xu calmed down a bit and asked Zhang Chu, "How did you come up with that idea?" Zhang Chu said, "You're still angry after I told you?" Xiao Xu said, "I'm not angry anymore, tell me." Zhang Chu said, "I've been having some really bad mental health issues lately. I told you before, I once shared a room with a strange woman, but nothing happened. But if two people sleep naked together until dawn and nothing happens, that's exciting enough in itself."

Xiao Xu didn't say anything more, so Zhang Chu said something else, joking with her. The two ate until nine o'clock before paying the bill and leaving. After leaving, they walked west along Beijing West Road. Both sides of Beijing West Road were lined with awnings, and there were many cement benches under the awnings. On summer evenings, many citizens sat under them to cool off. Before Zhang Chu got married, he and Xiao Xu often walked this road. As they walked now, some memories resurfaced, though they hadn't walked this road together on a summer evening.

After walking for a while, they reached Yunnan Road. Xiao Xu said she needed to call home, then left Zhang Chu to make the call at a roadside shop. After returning, she asked Zhang Chu where to go.

Zhang Chu immediately understood and said, "Let's go to my place." He hailed a taxi, and they got in together and headed home. He didn't let the driver take them all the way to his house; instead, he got out at the gate of his courtyard. He went back inside first, telling Xiao Xu to wait a while to avoid being seen.

He left the door open, without turning on the light, and waited for Xiao Xu. A moment later, Xiao Xu came in. She seemed flustered. After Zhang Chu closed the door, they sat together on the sofa for a long time without speaking. After a while, Zhang Chu reached out and took Xiao Xu's hand, saying, "Thank you."

Xiao Xu's heart was pounding. She rested her head on Zhang Chu's hand and said, "Don't say anything." (

Chapter 17 , March 12th

) Zhang Chu hugged Xiao Xu, then released her, went into the bathroom, turned on the light, and then turned on the water heater to fill the bathtub with hot water. While filling the tub, he clearly felt a heat rising within him. He walked to the mirror, looked into his eyes, took a deep breath, then came out of the bathroom and invited Xiao Xu to come in and take a shower.

After Xiao Xu came in, Zhang Chu was about to leave when she called him back, asking him to sit beside the bathtub and watch her bathe. Zhang Chu's body instantly became aroused, as if he had heard her call, his penis hardening. At that moment, although Xiao Xu was nervous, she remained calm. She stood before Zhang Chu, taking off her clothes one by one. When Xiao Xu stood naked before Zhang Chu, his will almost crumbled. He had never seen Xiao Xu naked before; her smooth skin, beautiful breasts, soft abdomen, and the mysterious area between her legs were all incredibly alluring to him. But Zhang Chu tried his best to control his desire, only reaching out to gently pinch one of Xiao Xu's nipples before smiling and letting go. He sat beside the bathtub, watching Xiao Xu go in to bathe.

As Xiao Xu rinsed herself in the bathtub, she had returned to her usual state when she was with Zhang Chu. As if deliberately trying to break Zhang Chu's will, she asked him, "It's said that when a man is aroused, his penis gets erect. Is yours erect now?"

Zhang Chu calmly replied, "Yes, it is.

You're going to take a shower later, why don't you take off your clothes and let me see?"

Zhang Chu obediently took off his clothes and sat naked in front of Xiao Xu. His penis pointed directly at Xiao Xu, standing erect. Xiao Xu asked, "Why is it so big?" "

It gets big when it desires you. It longs for you right now.

You said you wouldn't do anything to me." As Xiao Xu said this, she deliberately presented her genitals to Zhang Chu. "

I won't." Zhang Chu's soft tone still showed a firmness. "

It looks quite ugly. How could a man have such a strange thing?" Xiao Xu said as she rubbed her genitals. The shower gel mixed with her body odor, emitting a strong fragrance. Zhang Chu's penis was already rock hard.

The uglier it was, the more it would act strangely. Zhang Chu said, "There's a saying that a man's lifelong struggle is for it."

It can strip a man of all his dignity, leaving him to live like a dog. It can also grant a man everything he lacks: love, dignity, wealth, and so on. It is conquered by women, and it conquers women in return.

"You have many girlfriends, all for it?" Xiao Xu said, taking the showerhead off and directing the water towards her breasts, letting the water pool at her genitals, creating a soft, sensual gurgling sound in the bathtub. "

It's said that a man's physique, will, strength, and so on all originate from it, and its existence depends on a woman. When a man has no woman by his side, it means his physique, will, strength, and so on no longer exist, or rather, this man is essentially dead." Zhang Chu, speaking here, felt something about to burst from his penis, as if due to excessive pressure. "

So you're saying that without this thing, a woman has no physique, will, and strength?" As Xiao Xu said this, she reached out and touched her genitals again, her fingers circling there and making a probing motion, as if telling Zhang Chu that physique, will, and strength resided within.

Women are parasitic; their bodies, wills, and strength grow within men. When a man loses these, a woman will seek to parasitize a new man. The death of both men and women is not defined by whether they are alive or not.

A man's death is determined by whether his body, will, and strength still exist; a woman's death is determined by whether she is still parasitizing a man. As Zhang Chu spoke, his eyes remained fixed on Xiao Xu's vulva.

Xiao Xu's vulva had thin, tender red labia on either side, now slightly opening and closing, very alluring to Zhang Chu. At this moment, Zhang Chu's penis throbbed gently with desire, as if bowing. "

You sound like a philosopher," Xiao Xu said, then applied some more shower gel to her breasts and between her legs, then slowly rubbed them with her hands. Zhang Chu watched, and his penis trembled even more violently. Seeing that Zhang Chu was still persisting, Xiao Xu teased him, saying, "Help me rinse off the shower gel."

Zhang Chu stood up, took the showerhead from Xiao Xu's hand, and went over to rinse her body. His erect penis was almost touching her skin; in fact, with a single impulse, he could have thrust it inside her. Sometimes, when Xiao Xu reached down to wash her genitals, the back of her hand would brush against his penis. Zhang Chu felt a surge of excitement, wishing Xiao Xu would immediately grasp it or penetrate him, letting him indulge in pleasure. But Zhang Chu restrained himself, carefully rinsing Xiao Xu's breasts and genitals. After Xiao Xu finished rinsing, Zhang Chu grabbed a large towel and went to dry her off.

As he dried her, his hands would sometimes touch her breasts and genitals, and Xiao Xu's body would react with arousal, as if she were welcoming him. At this moment, his penis would become even more erect, and his body would involuntarily move closer to Xiao Xu's body. The head of his penis would swing and rub against Xiao Xu's body, even resisting some force as it tried to reach towards Xiao Xu's genitals. Sometimes, Xiao Xu would also move closer to Zhang Chu, letting Zhang Chu's penis directly touch her, waiting for him to thrust in uncontrollably and complete a baptism. But Zhang Chu would still resist stubbornly, even pressing his penis down with his hand to prevent it from getting aroused.

After Zhang Chu dried Xiao Xu's body, the two went to the room together. Zhang Chu first turned on the room light and had Xiao Xu sit in front of the dressing table in the bedroom. Then he took out a hairdryer and dried Xiao Xu's hair. When he dried Xiao Xu's hair, it was as if some force was acting on his penis, which would often touch Xiao Xu's body, exploring the source of physical pleasure.

After Zhang Chu dried Xiao Xu's hair, Xiao Xu picked up a bottle of lotion from the dressing table, looked at it, and asked Zhang Chu, "Is this for your lover?" Zhang Chu said, "Yes." Xiao Xu said, "Put some on my body too." Zhang Chu took the bottle from Xiao Xu, opened the cap, poured some into his hand, spread it in his palm, and then applied it to Xiao Xu's body. Xiao Xu had just showered, and her body was soft and smooth. With each application, the fire in Zhang Chu's heart seemed to grow stronger, and his desire burned fiercely. When he massaged Xiao Xu's breasts and genitals, Xiao Xu immediately let out a soft moan as if electrocuted, her body instinctively trying to collapse into Zhang Chu's arms. Zhang Chu was almost ready to deliver a powerful thrust and then writhe in a passionate, unrestrained lovemaking.

After applying the lotion to Xiao Xu, Zhang Chu turned on the CD player, played Schumann's "Tr?umerei," and went into the bathroom to shower himself. While taking a bath, Zhang Chu stood in the tub and poured cold water over his penis as if abusing an ugly person, continuing until it was completely limp. When he came out of the bathroom, Xiao Xu was already lying in bed. He went over and touched Xiao Xu's breast. Xiao Xu immediately pressed her hand against Zhang Chu's, preventing him from removing it. Zhang Chu then sat on the bed and placed his other hand on Xiao Xu's breast, letting her enjoy a gentle caress. After a while, Zhang Chu asked Xiao Xu if she wanted something to drink. Xiao Xu asked if Zhang Chu had any wine, so Zhang Chu went to the wine cabinet in the living room and got a bottle of red wine and two glasses. He poured half a glass for Xiao Xu and then poured half a glass for himself. As Xiao Xu received the wine, she knelt up, rested her shoulder against Zhang Chu's chest, and said to him with a provocative look, "Butterflies are used to dying in wine glasses." Zhang Chu pretended to be a little drunk, kissed Xiao Xu, and said, "Drunken poets all smell like butterflies."

The two drank together, uttering wild words, their intense desire swirling in the wine glasses and swaying in the lamplight. After finishing their drinks, Zhang Chu took the glass from Xiao Xu's hand, turned off the stereo and the light, then went to bed and embraced her. Xiao Xu's back rested against Zhang Chu's chest, his hands on her breasts, his penis pressing against her buttocks, making it difficult for her to calm down. Both their hearts pounded powerfully. After a while, Xiao Xu seemed unable to bear it any longer and said, "I'll turn over to sleep." Zhang Chu said, "Turn around, and my penis will be pressing against you there." Xiao Xu said, "That's your problem, not mine." She then turned around, letting Zhang Chu face her and embrace her. Zhang Chu embraced Xiao Xu, his penis pressing precisely against her. At that moment, his penis, burning with desire, seemed to be compelling Zhang Chu to thrust inside. At the same time, Zhang Chu seemed to sense that Xiao Xu was pressuring him; she was exerting force, yearning for Zhang Chu's penis to plunge in. He reached out and touched Xiao Xu's private parts, finding them wet and warm. Zhang Chu felt this was somewhat cruel; he didn't know why he was doing this, or what it would prove.

Xiao Xu had no sexual experience. She lay on her side in Zhang Chu's arms, making penetration impossible.

She struggled several times, but Zhang Chu resisted his urges, letting his penis remain pressed against her as he exerted himself.

After a while, Xiao Xu couldn't bear it any longer and tried to seduce Zhang Chu, asking, "Do you have a virginity complex?" Zhang Chu replied, "That's hard to say, because there are many reasons for it." Xiao Xu said, "I've heard that in some southern cities, deflowering a virgin costs at least five thousand yuan, and sometimes tens of thousands." Zhang Chu said, "Traditional men believe that virginity is beneficial to a man's virginity." "That's all?" Xiao Xu continued. Zhang Chu said, "Of course, there's also a man's desire to conquer. Men conquer women with their penises. A woman who isn't a virgin means she's already been conquered by someone else. Even if a man possesses her, he still doesn't feel like he's conquered her. The more virgins a man conquers, the more powerful he feels." If a man has never conquered a virgin, even if he has slept with many women, he still cannot be considered to have conquered women.

Virginity holds a deeper, more primal meaning for men, not merely a superficial symbol of purity. Hearing this, Xiao Xu directly asked Zhang Chu, "Do you have the desire to conquer virgins?" Zhang Chu replied, "Every man does." Xiao Xu said, "This is the first time in my life I've undressed and lay naked in a man's arms. Don't you want to conquer a virgin, to conquer a woman?"

Hearing this, Zhang Chu's penis instinctively throbbed intensely, thrusting forcefully against Xiao Xu, ruthlessly searching for the virgin's entrance, wanting to forcefully penetrate and conquer a virgin, conquer a woman, as if it were its mission. As his penis throbbed with passion, Zhang Chu felt a sense of dread. He watched as everything he had been mentally guarding was about to be overwhelmed by the brute force of his penis. But he remained undeterred, unwilling to be conquered by his own penis. He struggled fiercely, holding Xiao Xu tightly with both hands, desperately trying to suppress the resistance and impact of his penis…

Zhang Chu had a very difficult night.

Zhang Chu boarded the train at nine o'clock, the No. 65 express, arriving in Nanjing at around two o'clock the next afternoon. As soon as he got home, he called Qingdao to tell Shi Yun that he was home and to reassure her. This call was also a way of indirectly telling Shi Ming to come home soon.

He checked the time; it was only a little past three in the afternoon, so he took a shower. After showering, he picked up the phone, wanting to call Xiao Xu and say hello. He was a little worried that Ms. Chen would answer. Knowing he was back, Ms. Chen would most likely ask him out, and he didn't want to see her right now. He thought that if it was Ms. Chen's voice, he would immediately hang up without saying a word. After he dialed the number, the phone rang a few times but no one answered. Just as he was about to hang up, he heard Xiao Xu call out "Hello!" on the other end. Zhang Chu immediately perked up and asked if anyone else was in Xiao Xu's office. Xiao Xu said, "You forgot? It's Wednesday, everyone's next door having political study." Zhang Chu then remembered. Zhang Chu told Xiao Xu that he had returned from Beijing. Then they chatted casually. During their conversation, he asked Xiao Xu if she was free that evening. Xiao Xu asked what for. Zhang Chu said, "Let's have dinner together." Xiao Xu said, "Don't get any ideas." Zhang Chu said, "Just dinner." They arranged to meet at the entrance of Qingchi Hotel at seven o'clock.

After hanging up, Zhang Chu hesitated. He felt this appointment was too abrupt; Xiao Xu might think he was trying to seduce her. If Xiao Xu thought that, it would damage their relationship. In the organization, he and Xiao Xu were the closest of confidants. He needed Xiao Xu's friendship; he didn't want to lose her, otherwise his eight-hour workday would be even harder to endure. He decided that after meeting Xiao Xu, he must clear up this misunderstanding.

At seven o'clock in the evening, they met on time in front of the Qingchi Hotel. It was hot, and Xiao Xu was wearing a white t-shirt with black stripes and a mini-skirt, without stockings, showing off her bare legs, looking youthful and sexy. As soon as she saw Zhang Chu, she half-jokingly teased him, asking what wicked thoughts he had.

The hotel was crowded, and Zhang Chu found a table against the wall to sit down. After sitting down, the waitress brought the menu, and Zhang Chu let Xiao Xu order first. Xiao Xu ordered a plate of drunken shrimp and a plate of cold loofah salad, and then let Zhang Chu order; Zhang Chu ordered a plate of duck tongue, a plate of stir-fried red peppers, a soup, and a bottle of dark beer. After ordering, Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu how things were going with her lover in Qingdao. Zhang Chu smiled and said, "It's good, but going to bed is too tiring." Xiao Xu quickly said, "I didn't ask you that."

After the dishes were served, Zhang Chu first filled Xiao Xu's glass with wine, then poured some for himself. The two drank and ate while chatting. After a couple of drinks, Xiao Xu seemed even more youthful and radiant. The "yellow line" he had drawn in his mind that afternoon unknowingly crumbled, and Zhang Chu didn't seem to care. He asked Xiao Xu, "Do you think Adam was a man before he was expelled from the Garden of Eden?" Xiao Xu said, "Why do you ask that?" Zhang Chu said, "I'm wondering why Eve didn't have any children in the Garden of Eden." Xiao Xu laughed and said, "Eve probably practiced family planning." Zhang Chu said, "God shouldn't have created humans with defects. Since they became husband and wife, Eve should be able to conceive and have children." Upon hearing this, Xiao Xu immediately interrupted Zhang Chu, saying, "They only became intimate after being expelled from the Garden of Eden." Zhang Chu picked up on Xiao Xu's words, saying, "According to your logic, they only became intimate after being expelled from the Garden of Eden. Then how could they be considered husband and wife in Eden?" Furthermore, they had no clothes to wear in the Garden of Eden, they were all naked together, even sleeping naked in each other's arms. Didn't Adam experience desire? Xiao Xu laughed loudly at Zhang Chu's words, saying, "Why do you think about these things? If you believe in God, you don't need to doubt." Zhang Chu continued, "I'm puzzled, and I've always thought that Adam in the Garden of Eden wasn't just not a man, but not even a human being. If he were a man, his body would secrete male hormones, and secreting male hormones would mean he would have sex with Eve. He didn't have sex with Eve, which proves he wasn't a man. He wasn't a man, but he certainly wasn't a woman either. If he were a woman, he would also secrete female hormones. If he secreted female hormones, and there was no one else in the Garden of Eden, he and Eve would have had a homosexual relationship, and vice versa. Since they didn't have any relationship, the best explanation is that in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve weren't human beings."

Xiao Xu laughed and teased Zhang Chu, "Do you think everyone is like you?" Adam was a man of will and patience, a true gentleman. Seeing Xiao Xu was on his way, Zhang Chu feigned concern and said, "You're jumping to conclusions too quickly. Maybe I'm even more of a man than Adam." "Come on," Xiao Xu interrupted, sneering, "Which girlfriend haven't you been greedy for?" Zhang Chu immediately cut her off, saying, "That's unfair to me. Let's talk about us. When have I ever wronged you?" Xiao Xu quickly stopped Zhang Chu, saying, "Don't drag 'us' into this." Zhang Chu ignored her warning and continued, "I haven't wronged you in the past, and I won't wrong you in the future. Even if we were together like Adam and Eve, I wouldn't wrong you." Xiao Xu took it as a joke and said, "Don't be ridiculous." Zhang Chu chuckled and tried to sound joking as he spoke to Xiao Xu, "Want to try? I bet you'll lose." Xiao Xu realized there was something behind Zhang Chu's words and said, "You seem to be setting me up." Zhang Chu stopped laughing and said seriously, "I've been very confused lately, always feeling like I'm being controlled by some kind of desire." Hearing this, Xiao Xu lowered her head and stopped talking. Zhang Chu, seeing this, wanted to stop himself, but still said, "For example, we..." As

soon as Zhang Chu finished speaking, Xiao Xu's face immediately turned red, and she became nervous, putting down her chopsticks and looking like she wanted to leave. Zhang Chu quickly reached out to stop her, saying, "I was just joking, I'm sorry." Xiao Xu angrily said, "You're just trying to play tricks on me." Zhang Chu said, "Okay, I won't say anymore, but I meant it, I really want to get to know myself." After saying that, he told Xiao Xu to eat.

After a while, Xiao Xu felt much calmer and asked Zhang Chu, "How did you come up with this idea?" Zhang Chu said, "You're still angry after I told you?" Xiao Xu said, "I'm not angry anymore, tell me." Zhang Chu said, "I have some really bad feelings about me, you know that. I was on the train in Beijing yesterday and kept thinking about this, so I called you as soon as I got back. Think about it, two people sleeping together until dawn and nothing happening, that's exciting enough in itself."

Xiao Xu didn't speak again, so Zhang Chu said something else. They ate until nine o'clock before paying the bill and leaving. Afterwards, they walked west along Beijing West Road. Both sides of Beijing West Road were lined with awnings, under which were many cement benches where citizens sat to cool off on summer evenings. Zhang Chu and Xiao Xu had walked this road many times before Zhang Chu got married. Walking it now brought back some memories, though they hadn't walked it together on a summer evening, only in autumn and winter. From late autumn onwards, the roadside was piled high with fallen leaves from plane trees and ginkgo trees. Especially on drizzly evenings, in silent eye contact, they had repeatedly tried to gather a burning memory, hoping to forever lock in a sweet memory in the station of their youth.

After walking for a while, they reached Yunnan Road. Xiao Xu said she needed to call home, then left Zhang Chu to make the call at a roadside shop ahead. After making the call, she returned and asked Zhang Chu, "Where are we going now?"

Zhang Chu immediately understood Xiao Xu's meaning and said to her, "Let's go to my place." After saying this, Zhang Chu hailed a taxi on the roadside, and they got in and went back together. He didn't let the driver take them all the way to his house; they got out outside the gate. He went back inside first, telling Xiao Xu to wait a while to avoid gossip.

He left the door open, without turning on the light, and waited for Xiao Xu. A little while later, Xiao Xu came in. She seemed flustered. After Zhang Chu closed the door, the two sat together on the sofa, remaining silent for a long time, beginning their internal struggle of desire and resistance. After a while, Zhang Chu reached out and took Xiao Xu's hand, saying, "Thank you. This will be one of the most unforgettable memories of my life."

Xiao Xu was still nervous, resting her head on his hand, and said, "It's the same for me, but I won't mind your loss."

Zhang Chu immediately understood from Xiao Xu's words the weight he needed to add to his willpower. He released Xiao Xu, went into the bathroom, turned on the light, then turned on the water heater and filled the bathtub with hot water. He felt a growing heat in his body as he filled the tub. He walked to the mirror, looked into his eyes, took a deep breath, then left the bathroom and invited Xiao Xu to come in and take a shower.

As soon as Xiao Xu came in, Zhang Chu was about to leave when she called him back, asking him to sit beside her in the bathtub. Xiao Xu's expression was a mixture of nervousness and shyness; she was somewhat afraid of being naked alone in an unfamiliar bathroom. Watching her shower almost broke Zhang Chu's will. He had never seen Xiao Xu before—smooth, beautiful, soft, and mysterious, brimming with intense allure. But Zhang Chu tried his best to control his desire, ruffling Xiao Xu's dark hair and saying, "Go on, shower now, I'll shower too."

As if deliberately trying to break Zhang Chu's will, Xiao Xu stood in the bathtub and asked, "They say men get an erection when they're aroused. Is yours erect now?"

Zhang Chu calmly replied, "Yes.

Let me see. "

Zhang Chu obediently took off her clothes and said, "It only does this when it desires something.

You said you wouldn't violate me." Xiao Xu said, turning her body to face Zhang Chu.

"No." Zhang Chu's soft tone still showed a firmness. "

It looks pretty ugly, how could it be born with such a strange appearance? You have many girlfriends, all for it?" Xiao Xu said as she washed, the bathroom filled with a mixed fragrance.

Zhang Chu caught her breath and said, "The uglier it is, the more it will cause trouble. It can make a man lose all his dignity, but it can also make a man gain love, dignity, and happiness. A man's physique, will, strength, etc., all come from it. When a man has no girlfriend, it means that his physique, will, strength, etc., no longer exist, or rather, this man is essentially dead.

You talk like a philosopher, I've never heard of someone giving a speech naked." Xiao Xu laughed after saying that, looking much more relaxed, and teased Zhang Chu, "Help me rinse off."

Zhang Chu stood up, took the shower head from Xiao Xu's hand, and carefully rinsed her from head to toe. Xiao Xu stared intently at Zhang Chu's strugglingly calm face and his far from composed body. She smiled, patted his cheek, and said, "You asked for it, didn't you?"

Zhang Chu grabbed a large bath towel, wrapped it around Xiao Xu, and dried her off. As his hands caressed her body, both of them felt a surge of excitement. Xiao Xu leaned closer to Zhang Chu, but Zhang Chu stubbornly resisted, his hands reaching forward while his hips subtly shifted back—a rather awkward posture. After Xiao Xu was dried, Zhang Chu wrapped the half-wet towel around his waist, and the two went to the room together. Zhang Chu drew the curtains, turned on the air conditioner and the room lights, and had Xiao Xu sit at the dressing table in the bedroom. He brought a hairdryer and began drying her hair. As he dried her hair, his lower body would occasionally brush against her arm. A sense of relaxed pleasure filled Zhang Chu's heart.

Xiao Xu picked up a bottle of lotion from the dressing table, looked at it, and asked Zhang Chu, "Is this for your lover?" Zhang Chu said, "Yes." Xiao Xu said, "Put some on my body too." Zhang Chu took the bottle from Xiao Xu, opened the cap, poured some into his hand, spread it in his palm, and then applied it to Xiao Xu's body. Xiao Xu had just showered, and her body was soft and smooth. With each rub, the fire in Zhang Chu's heart seemed to grow stronger. Xiao Xu let out a soft moan as if she had been electrocuted, and Zhang Chu almost lost control.

After applying the lotion to Xiao Xu, Zhang Chu put on a Schumann piece, "Tr?umerei," and went into the bathroom to shower. He turned the cold tap on full blast, rinsing his entire body as if torturing himself, until he was completely calm and his skin was covered in goosebumps.

When he came out of the bathroom, Xiao Xu was already lying in bed. He went over and patted Xiao Xu affectionately. Xiao Xu grabbed Zhang Chu's hand and wouldn't let him take it away. Zhang Chu sat on the edge of the bed and placed his other hand on Xiao Xu's chest, letting her enjoy the gentle caress. After a while, Zhang Chu asked Xiao Xu if she wanted anything to drink. Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu if he had any wine, so Zhang Chu took a bottle of red wine and two glasses from the living room wine cabinet. He poured half a glass for Xiao Xu and then poured half for himself. Xiao Xu knelt up, resting her shoulder against Zhang Chu's chest, and said to him with a look, "Butterflies are used to dying in wine glasses." Zhang Chu, with wine in his mouth, pretended to be a little drunk, kissed Xiao Xu, and said, "Drunken poets all smell like butterflies."

The two of them drank together, entwined, and said some crazy things. A strong desire swirled in the wine glasses and swayed in the lamplight. After finishing the wine, Zhang Chu took the glass from Xiao Xu's hand, turned off the stereo, turned off the lights, and then went to bed to hold Xiao Xu and sleep. Xiao Xu's back rested against Zhang Chu's chest, and both of their hearts were pounding. After a while, Xiao Xu turned around, letting Zhang Chu hold her from the opposite direction. Zhang Chu embraced Xiao Xu, feeling her body trembling and burning hot. He felt a little cruel; he didn't know why he was doing this, or what it proved.

After a while, Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu, "Do you have a virginity complex?" Zhang Chu said, "That's hard to say, because there are many reasons for it." Xiao Xu said, "I've heard that in some southern cities, a virgin costs at least five thousand yuan, and sometimes tens of thousands." Zhang Chu said, "Traditional men believe that virginity is beneficial to a man's vitality." "That's all?" Xiao Xu continued. Zhang Chu said, "Of course, there's also a man's desire to conquer. A woman who isn't a virgin means she's already been conquered by someone else. Even if a man possesses this woman, he still doesn't consider her one he conquered. If a man hasn't conquered a virgin, even if he's slept with many women, he still can't be considered to have conquered women. Virginity has some deep, primal meaning for men, not just a superficial symbol of purity." Hearing this, Xiao Xu whispered in Zhang Chu's ear, "This is the first time in my life I've ever been in a man's arms."

Upon hearing this, Zhang Chu instinctively became agitated, watching as his strong mental defenses were about to crumble under the force of his primal instincts. But he remained defiant, unwilling to be conquered by his instincts. He struggled fiercely, tightly embracing Xiao Xu, as if desperately trying to suppress the physical resistance and impact…

That night, Zhang Chu endured a very difficult time.

Chapter Eighteen:

When Zhang Chu arrived at the office, only Xiao Wang was there; he had just returned from studying in Hainan two days prior.

When Zhang Chu met him, he started talking about chicken coops and coconut groves in Hainan. Xiao Wang was from Changchun, and his southern accent didn't quite fit in. His skin was a bit rough and dark, and he wasn't very outgoing. At thirty-two, he still hadn't found a girlfriend, and recently an older woman from Shanghai in his department had been trying to find him a match. Calling it a matchmaking was a euphemism; she was practically giving Xiao Wang a hard and fast rule, insisting he accept her no matter what. The woman worked in the agricultural department, was from Changzhou, Jiangsu, and was two years older than Xiao Wang.

Zhang Chu and Xiao Wang had only exchanged a few words when the older woman from Shanghai came in. Upon seeing Zhang Chu, she immediately began praising the woman, saying how wonderful she was—capable, caring, honest, kind-hearted, and beautiful—and how lucky Xiao Wang was to have found her, among other flowery praise. Zhang Chu knew the older woman was just trying to seduce Xiao Wang. But he didn't want to say anything, so he said he needed to see the department head and headed out to the head's office. When Zhang Chu passed by Ms. Chen's office, he saw her there and went in to greet her.

Ms. Chen was somewhat displeased to see Zhang Chu, as he hadn't even called her since his return. She asked him when he had returned, and he said yesterday. Ms. Chen then asked in a low voice, "Why didn't you tell me you were back?" Zhang Chu replied, "Why should I tell you?"

Hearing this, Ms. Chen became even angrier and repeatedly told Zhang Chu to get out! Get out! Zhang Chu laughed and said, "Fine, I'll get out." He then walked to Ms. Chen's desk, staring intently at her chest, feigning a lecherous look. Seeing Zhang Chu's behavior, Ms. Chen's anger subsided, but she still picked up a rag from the desk, pretending to dust it off, and lashed out at Zhang Chu. Zhang Chu didn't dodge, letting Ms. Chen hit him, then cried out in pain. Ms. Chen laughed and said, "Serves you right." Zhang Chu suddenly remembered his classmate's lover's situation. He figured Ms. Chen was the best person to handle it, so he said, "I'm going to

the department head's office, I'll be back later." Zhang Chu went to the department head's office, only exchanged a few words, and left. Zhang Chu was quite talkative with ordinary colleagues, but when it came to talking to officials, he couldn't get any meaningful information out of them; it was always over in a few sentences.

After returning to Ms. Chen's office, Zhang Chu told her about his classmate's lover. Ms. Chen recognized the context and immediately refused. No matter what Zhang Chu said, Ms. Chen wouldn't agree, which annoyed Zhang Chu. As he got up to leave, Ms. Chen told him, "We'll talk after work."

Zhang Chu returned to his office and saw the Shanghai woman was still there, which annoyed him. The woman was sitting in Zhang Chu's chair. Seeing him return, she stood up and offered him a seat. Zhang Chu pressed her down, letting her continue her presentation to Xiao Wang, while he stood leaning against his desk and listened to her. But after listening for a couple of sentences, Zhang Chu became impatient. He asked the old woman how her daughter was doing. The Shanghai old woman was most afraid of people mentioning her daughter. When her daughter was a graduate student, she fell in love with her professor and broke up a perfectly good family. But her daughter and the professor had only been married for three months before she filed for divorce. The professor disagreed. Her daughter took him to court, claiming that the professor was impotent. The professor was so humiliated by her that he fainted in court. When the Shanghai old woman heard Zhang Chu ask this, her face immediately showed displeasure, and she stood up and left, saying she had something to do. After the Shanghai old woman

left, Zhang Chu sat down, looked at his watch, and saw that it was almost nine o'clock. He thought that Xiao Xu would be getting up soon.

As he thought of this, he felt depressed, and his chest even felt a little painful. When he left, he told Xiao Xu to sleep a little longer and wait until everyone in the government apartment building went to work before she got up and left. Xiao Xu said she would get up at nine o'clock to go to work. Before leaving, he sat down next to Xiao Xu, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts, before finally heading to work.

He couldn't calm his mind, constantly thinking about Xiao Xu. He picked up the phone and called Shi Yun.

He missed Shi Yun and wanted to know when Shi Ming would be back. When the call connected, it was Shi Ming who answered. She said she had bought a train ticket for the evening and would arrive in Nanjing the next morning. Zhang Chu felt a surge of joy. When Shi Ming handed the phone to Shi Yun, Zhang Chu suddenly didn't know what to say; it was as if with Shi Ming, he had everything. Only when Shi Yun spoke to him did he realize that the person speaking was the one he loved most deeply. He asked Shi Yun, "When are you coming back?" Shi Yun said, "You've only been gone for two days, and you're already thinking about this?" Zhang Chu said, "I can't wait that many days." Shi Yun said, "I'll go back as soon as possible." Then they chatted for a few more minutes about the children before hanging up.

After hanging up, Zhang Chu checked the time; it was only a little past nine. He figured Xiao Xu probably hadn't come to work yet.

Despite his thoughts, he couldn't completely relax. He went to check on Xiao Xu in her office. When he pushed open the door, Xiao Xu was already inside. His heart began to pound. He went over and pretended to greet her. Xiao Xu asked when he had returned, then sat down and frantically searched for something on her desk. Zhang Chu noticed a slight blush on Xiao Xu's face. He felt that Xiao Xu would be uncomfortable with him there, and he himself would feel uncomfortable too. He said something to Ms. Chen and then left.

Zhang Chu returned to his office and sat down, feeling very stifled. Several documents were on his desk, and while his eyes were on them, his mind was on Xiao Xu. It was as if something was punishing him, forcing him to miss her, and he was thinking about her in the most subtle ways. As he thought this, his penis became erect. He felt that this penis was shameless, always indulging in fantasies. As he thought this, his thoughts drifted to Shi Ming. He hadn't made love to Shiming in a long time. Shiming's warm body, her happy little hands, her joyful caresses—at this moment, he longed for them. As he craved these things, his penis throbbed inside his clothes, pounding like a drum, making his heart race even more. He thought, "I won't come to work tomorrow morning. Shiming will definitely go home after getting off the train. I'll wait for Shiming at home, wait for her embrace, wait for her kiss, wait for everything about her."

Thinking of this, he suddenly remembered that Ms. Chen had just asked him out. Ms. Chen always held him close, caressing him, lingering on him—those feelings were wonderful. He hadn't received Ms. Chen's caresses in a long time; her breasts, her nipples… When Zhang Chu thought of Ms. Chen's body, the image of Xiao Xu's tender, pink vulva floated before his eyes again, her thin labia hidden among a patch of soft pubic hair, fragrant and glistening. Zhang Chu thought, "When will I have Xiao Xu?" There

was still some time before dinner, and Xiao Wang sat at the table, diligently reviewing documents. Zhang Chu had no interest in looking at the dry documents. He got up and pulled out a copy of Nietzsche's *Thus Spoke Zarathustra* from the cabinet.

He had read this book several times, but he found it increasingly difficult to understand. He randomly flipped to a chapter, "The Old Woman and the Young Woman." While Zarathustra was still confused about women, an old woman said to him, "Do you want to go to women? Don't forget to bring your whip." Zhang Chu was puzzled at this point. What kind of whip did the old woman want Zarathustra to bring? Nietzsche had gone to the theater many times to hear Bizet's *Carmen* when he wrote *Thus Spoke Zarathustra*. Carmen seduced Jose, who fell in love with her but couldn't conquer her, ultimately killing her. Zhang Chu felt that Nietzsche might have drawn some inspiration from Carmen; this whip likely referred to a man's phallus. Jose didn't have a strong phallus, so he couldn't conquer Carmen. The old woman might be Carmen herself. Carmen said, "Come to me, did you bring your phallus?"

Finally, it was time for dinner. After lunch, most of the staff went to the activity room to play cards and chess, and Xiao Wang from the office naturally went too. Zhang Chu, having not slept well the night before, was feeling sleepy. He was about to close the door and take a nap when he saw Xiao Xu coming up the stairs, so he stood at the door and greeted her. Xiao Xu went straight into Zhang Chu's office. As soon as she entered, Zhang Chu immediately closed the door and pulled her into his arms. Xiao Xu felt flustered by Zhang Chu's embrace and hesitantly asked him where he was going that night. Zhang Chu was conflicted by Xiao Xu's question; he wanted to be with her, but Ms. Chen had already made plans with her.

He could only tell Xiao Xu that he was going to a classmate's place that night and had some things to do. Xiao Xu said, "You've got my heart all tangled up."

Zhang Chu didn't say anything. He touched Xiao Xu's face, then reached inside her clothes and touched her breasts before letting her leave.

Before leaving get off work, Ms. Chen arranged to meet him at the Rose Bar in Confucius Temple at 7:30. The Rose Bar is located near the Wende Bridge in Confucius Temple. The Wende Bridge is a famous bridge on the Qinhuai River, connecting Confucius Temple to the north, Shiba Street to the south, and Panchi Pond to the east. On the night of the 15th of the eleventh lunar month, half a moon is reflected in the water on both sides of the bridge, a unique sight in Nanjing. After finishing get off work, Zhang Chu rushed to the Rose Bar. After sitting down, he thought to himself, "Ms. Chen really knows how to choose a place." The windows of the bar were dark-colored, with sheer curtains hanging down, making the light dim. Looking out through the thin curtains, the upturned eaves of Kuiguang Pavilion, the exquisitely carved screen wall of Banyue Pond, the carved eaves and embroidered railings of Deyue Terrace, the riverside houses and water corridors on both sides of the Qinhuai River, and the antique-style painted boats on the surface of Panchi Pond, all looked like a rose-colored dream outside, very pleasing to the eye. It was just as Wen Yiduo said, looking at the scenery of Confucius Temple was like looking at "a beauty drying her hair behind a glass window after bathing." As Zhang Chu was thinking this, Ms. Chen walked in. She immediately sat down next to him, hugged him, and kissed him. Zhang Chu touched Ms. Chen's face, and she pressed herself even closer. The bar seats had high backs, making it difficult for people sitting in front and behind to see each other, and even standing up, visibility was poor in the dim light. Therefore, Ms. Chen felt comfortable around Zhang Chu. Soft, delicate music drifted through the bar like a dream, very enchanting.

Zhang Chu pressed a button on the table, and a woman came over to ask what he wanted. Zhang Chu ordered two fruit drinks. After the drinks arrived, Zhang Chu whispered to Ms. Chen, "Will you agree to what I said?" Ms. Chen ignored him and whispered in his ear, "I've missed you so much." As she spoke, she reached her hand inside Zhang Chu's clothes. Zhang Chu stopped her hand and asked if she would help him. As Ms. Chen stroked Zhang Chu's penis, she asked, "Is your classmate's wife pretty?" Zhang Chu found it amusing and said, "You're overthinking it. I hardly ever see my classmate. He only contacts me when he needs something. I've only seen his wife three or four times." Ms. Chen laughed at Zhang Chu's explanation and said, "Actually, I was just teasing you. Since you told me, I don't think you meant anything by it.

I've already spoken to the people in the social affairs department; they need a typist. It's the deputy director who wants one. Don't blame me later." Zhang Chu said, "You were deliberately making things difficult for me. I was just thinking about how to convince you. Now I should thank you." Ms. Chen immediately patted Zhang Chu's face and said, "If you want to thank me, then love me. I made things difficult for you to please you, and even more so, to please it." As Ms. Chen said this, she smiled and gently rubbed Zhang Chu's penis. Zhang Chu then reached into Ms. Chen's breasts, pinched her breasts, and gently kneaded them. After a while, Ms. Chen said to Zhang Chu, "I can't stay with you today. My family told me to go home early before I leave work."

Hearing that Ms. Chen was leaving, Zhang Chu wanted to tease her. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Going home to have sex with your husband?" Ms. Chen said, "Yes." Zhang Chu said, "You're seductive down there?" "Yes." "You scream when your husband takes your virginity?" "Yes." Hearing Ms. Chen's repeated "yes," Zhang Chu became a little angry and reached out to grab her genitals hard. Ms. Chen, however, rested her head on Zhang Chu's shoulder without reacting.

Zhang Chu was puzzled. He cupped Ms. Chen's face and touched it; it was covered in tears. Zhang Chu was somewhat taken aback. He thought his words wouldn't hurt Ms. Chen. He hugged her and asked, "What's wrong?" Ms. Chen hugged Zhang Chu tightly and didn't say anything. After a while, Ms. Chen checked the time and realized it was time to leave, so she let go of Zhang Chu and stood up. Zhang Chu seemed somewhat dissatisfied and unwilling to get up. Ms. Chen helped him to his feet, and the two walked out the door together. At the door, still a little confused, Zhang Chu hugged Ms. Chen and said, "I'm sorry." Ms. Chen said, "It's not your fault." But Zhang Chu still couldn't let it go, his face darkening. Ms. Chen kissed Zhang Chu and whispered, "Don't be silly. Your sister Chen likes you. Being with you means I want

you to have your way with me." After Ms. Chen left, Zhang Chu didn't know where to go. Go home? He was alone at home, cold and desolate; he couldn't bear it. At that moment, he regretted making plans with Xiao Xu. Go to a classmate's or friend's house? He wasn't used to suddenly disturbing others. He walked along the road in Confucius Temple and unknowingly reached Wende Bridge. He leaned against the bridge, gazing at the bizarre ripples in the Pan Pond, feeling a sense of loss and emptiness he had never experienced before.

Suddenly, someone patted him on the shoulder. Zhang Chu turned around and saw it was Ms. Chen. He felt a surge of joy mixed with confusion. He immediately grabbed her hand and asked, "Didn't you say you were going home? Why haven't you left yet?" Ms. Chen hugged Zhang Chu and said, "I was worried about you being alone here. I left, but came back to check on you."

Hearing this, tears suddenly welled up in Zhang Chu's eyes. Ms. Chen didn't hold a place in his heart. Every time he was with her, he felt ashamed and even a little lonely afterward. But Ms. Chen's concern for him made him feel incredibly sad. He gently touched her face, thinking, "I must treat her better from now on." Ms. Chen hugged him for a while and said, "You should go back now. I have to go."

As Ms. Chen was about to leave, Zhang Chu hugged her again and kissed her, then pushed her away, saying he would walk around for a little while longer before leaving. After Ms. Chen left, Zhang Chu felt even emptier than before. He walked across Wende Bridge, onto Chaoku Street, and then into Shiba Street. Not far along, he saw a small Ming Dynasty brick building.

Zhang Chu stood before it, hesitant. What was he doing here? This was a brothel, the Meixiang Tower, where the famous courtesan Li Xiangjun of Qinhuai once lived. But the former splendor of red dresses and green sleeves, accompanied by music and song, was long gone. In the dim light, the railings and eaves showed signs of wind and rain erosion.

Men had squandered vast sums of money here, spending their lives, selling houses and land, just to spend a night with a prostitute and buy pleasure. As Zhang Chu thought this, he felt like he was in a maze, unable to find his way out. He even regretted not taking Xiao Xu last night, letting her suffer, and himself suffer. What about body and soul? The body is the living being, the soul is the dead being. To live is to have something to show.

Eyes are for seeing, ears are for hearing, mouths are for eating and drinking, and the penis is for having sex with women. They are all part of the body and shouldn't be treated differently. If one is required to see in all directions, hear in all directions, and eat from all corners of the world, then what's wrong with the penis having sex with more women? What's the point of talking about morality and spiritual cultivation about it, or connecting it to the soul?

Why isn't the soul connected to the eyes, nose, ears, mouth, or even the anus? If "Adam" resisted his desires, he became a great man, but does that mean a man who jumps from the 48th floor and dies is even more of a great man?

Zhang Chu suddenly felt that all of this was utterly absurd. To paraphrase Descartes, living is, for the eyes, "I see, therefore I am"; for the ears, "I hear, therefore I am"; for the mouth, "I eat, therefore I am"; for the penis, "I have sex, therefore I am." Truth, absolute truth.

Thinking of this, Zhang Chu felt an even greater sense of guilt towards Xiao Xu. They had always loved each other, open and honest with one another, without any barriers. He thought that perhaps Xiao Xu would be staying in the single dormitory building tonight; she should realize that he still loved her. He had told her in the office earlier that day that he wanted her. She might be waiting for him in the staff dormitory right now. Thinking this, Zhang Chu immediately turned around, walked to the main road, hailed a taxi, and rushed to the staff dormitory. Sitting in the car, he thought that once he got inside, he would hold her and tell her that last night was all a mistake, that he wanted her now, that he loved her…

Chapter Nineteen

Sitting in the car, Zhang Chu hesitated as they approached Xinjiekou. If he went to Xiao Xu's place now, and she was in the dorm, he could take everything from her. But Shi Ming would be back tomorrow morning, and for the next few nights—tomorrow night, the night after, and the night after that—he would be with her. If he left Shi Ming to see Xiao Xu, he would have to give her a plausible reason, which put Zhang Chu in a dilemma. Furthermore, if he took everything from Xiao Xu tonight and then didn't see her for several nights in a row, what would she think? If Shi Yun were back, Xiao Xu would understand; with a lover by his side, he couldn't just go out alone at night. But Shi Yun wasn't back; in Xiao Xu's eyes, he was someone without ties, a free person. He should spend every night with her—tomorrow night, the night after, and the night after that—talking, making love, their souls merging in the depths of their bodies. Otherwise, how could he explain this to Xiao Xu? Thinking of this, he suddenly felt physically and mentally exhausted. He gazed out the window, sighed deeply, and then told the driver to take the main road west of the city towards Caochangmen.

After getting out of the car and entering his home, he still felt a pang of resentment. He climbed into bed in the dark, lay down, and that longing quickly returned. Unconsciously, he reached for his penis. The warm, wet penis seemed to still retain the warmth of Ms. Chen's hand. Zhang Chu suddenly felt confused. This penis, now passed from hand to hand by several women, even held in their hands while they slept, seemed to receive more care and affection than Zhang Chu himself. What was this penis? Love, longing, desire, worry, even pain—all these feelings came from the penis.

As he thought this, the Laoco?n statue suddenly flashed into his mind, a face contorted in agony by a venomous snake. Gradually, he saw Laoco?n's penis, a large, robust penis seated at the center of the statue.

Laoco?n's pained face was turned upwards, his erect penis also pointing upwards. Its cries and anguish seemed even more intense than the pain on Laoco?n's face, as if the pain itself was being projected onto his face by his penis. He was somewhat shocked; he had never seen Laoco?n like this before. He suddenly remembered Michelangelo's sculpture "Evening," which seemed somewhat similar to Laoco?n. A gloomy-faced man, exhausted, his penis and his gaze both pointing in the same direction, gazing or brooding over something. His sorrowful expression also seemed to be transmitted through his penis. He suddenly seemed to realize a truth: man lives in his penis, not the other way around.

While Zhang Chu was still lost in these thoughts, the phone rang. Zhang Chu got up, turned on the light, and checked the time—it was almost midnight. Who could be calling? Shiming would be back tomorrow; he didn't want anyone to disturb him. He went into the living room and picked up the phone, but there was no answer. He called again, and suddenly a long sigh came from the other end. Zhang Chu vaguely thought it was Xiao Xu's voice, so he cautiously asked, "Why aren't you saying anything?" Xiao Xu sighed again into the phone before saying, "What is it?" Hearing Xiao Xu's voice, Zhang Chu was immediately overjoyed and asked where Xiao Xu was. Xiao Xu said, "Why do you ask?" Zhang Chu told her the truth, "I finished my business and took a taxi to your dorm, but I turned back at the gate. I miss you, but I'm afraid to see you." Xiao Xu listened in silence for a while, then said, "I thought you would come to my place, so I waited for you in my dorm, hoping you would come and talk to me, but you didn't come. By eleven o'clock, I thought you wouldn't come, so I decided to go home and not wait so anxiously." Hearing Xiao Xu say this, Zhang Chu felt a little sad. He said, "I'm even more anxious than you. I miss you, I want you." When Zhang Chu said "want you," his voice was very low, as if he didn't want Xiao Xu to hear. Xiao Xu said, "I can't sleep, let me hear what you have to say." Zhang Chu, who was currently preoccupied with thoughts of phalluses, asked Xiao Xu, "What does Cupid's golden arrow represent?" Xiao Xu said, "You're asking me this?" Zhang Chu said, "Want to hear my thoughts?" Xiao Xu said, "Go ahead." Zhang Chu said, "Cupid's golden arrow is actually a male symbol, the phallus. Its arrowhead glitters with gold, as if flames are burning—all characteristics of the phallus. Cupid's golden arrow also implies that some men have impotent phalluses; if they are struck by Cupid's arrow, their phallus gains power." Xiao Xu asked, "What if it hits a woman?" Zhang Chu said, "It gains the power of phallus worship." Xiao Xu said, "So, you're saying that love between two people stems from phalluses?" Zhang Chu said, "Last night, when I was holding you, my penis was pressing against you, which reminded me of something that happened when I was twelve. I was sleeping alone in a room, and one night I woke up to find someone sleeping on the other side of the blanket.

I kicked a few times, and that person woke up but didn't say anything." I asked her who she was, but she didn't answer. I crawled to the other end of the blanket and found out it was my neighbor's girl. Many relatives had come to her house that day, and since there was no room to sleep, she slept in my bed.

After I got in, she tried to push me away, trying to get me off the blanket, but I stubbornly refused. After a while, seeing she couldn't move me, she gave up. Because she was a big girl, I started groping her. At first, she resisted, but eventually I even took off her underwear. When I lay on top of her, she laughed so hard the bed shook because I couldn't get in.

Later, I got off, and she said, "You're so young, and you already want to do bad things." I said, "Then you'll have to wait until I grow up." Later, as dawn approached, I didn't want her to leave, so I lay on top of her again, but it still didn't work. From that day on, whenever I saw that girl, I felt shy, shy because of my impotent erection.

What happened next? Xiao Xu felt there should be more to this story, so she pressed Zhang Chu for details. Zhang Chu said there was nothing more. Xiao Xu felt Zhang Chu should prove himself, and still insisted he had one. Zhang Chu said no. Because that night, that girl told me, "It's so small," and I'll never know how big a penis should be in her mind, or how big she needs it. After that experience, this fear will always remain. As long as a woman hasn't developed an admiration for a man's penis, this fear will always exist. Therefore, many men often use alcohol to boost their libido and dispel some of their fears.

Hearing this, Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu, "Are you afraid of me?" Zhang Chu said, "Yes. But it's a different kind of fear." Xiao Xu laughed and asked, "What are you afraid of?" Zhang Chu said, "I don't know if five thousand yuan is worth it." Xiao Xu laughed and scolded Zhang Chu.

The two chatted like this until their eyelids closed and they were too tired to speak before hanging up the phone and going to sleep.

When Zhang Chu woke up, to be precise, he was woken up by Shi Ming. When he woke up and saw Shi Ming, he immediately jumped up excitedly and hugged her. Shi Ming pushed him away forcefully, saying, "Are you not fully awake? I'm not your wife."

Zhang Chu ignored her words and went to hug her anyway. Shi Ming pushed Zhang Chu onto the bed, angrily saying, "First, tell me, how many times have you slept with me? You've never slept with me at home, and now you want to hug me? No way!"

Zhang Chu laughed and said, "I specially skipped work to wait for you at home, and you're still making me angry like this. If you don't want me to kiss you, I'll get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, and go to work." After saying that, Zhang Chu jumped off the bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

Shi Ming ignored Zhang Chu and, as if tired from traveling, lay down on the bed to rest. When Zhang Chu came out after washing up, he saw Shi Ming lying on the bed and thought she was feeling unwell, so he went over to touch her forehead. Shi Ming raised her hand and slapped his hand away, still very angry, saying, "I'm not your wife, don't touch me again."

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