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The true memories of secretly watching my parents make love 

The internet allows us to freely express the secrets buried deep within our hearts. As someone born in the 1960s, my earliest understanding of sex came when I woke up in the middle of the night as a child to find my father on top of my mother. I was probably five or six years old then, and the three of us were sleeping on a kang (a heated brick bed). Suddenly waking up, I found my mother gone. Just as I was about to scream, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my father, no more than two meters away on the left side of the kang, writhing up and down on top of my mother. My mother was trying her best to suppress her moans, but in the quiet night, everything was so clear. My mother was not yet thirty at the time, not very tall, and slightly overweight. Moonlight streamed into the room, illuminating two naked bodies intertwined. My mother's hands were tightly wrapped around my father's back, her buttocks thrusting upwards in response to his movements… At the time, I didn't know what they were doing, and I dared not make a sound, only squinting and watching quietly out of the corner of my eye.

The second time was probably around fourth or fifth grade. I remember one night my mom and I were sleeping in the small room, and my dad was in the big room. I vaguely remember that they weren't sleeping in the same room that night because they had argued. In the small room, I was sleeping on a single bed, next to a small kang (heated brick bed) about the size of a double bed, where my mom was sleeping. In the middle of the night, my mom's suppressed moans on the small kang suddenly woke me up. Following the moonlight streaming in through the small window, I saw that my dad had come over on the small kang at some point, and he was on top of my mom, his buttocks moving up and down. At that time, the "fuck your mother's cunt" and similar phrases used by my friends when they argued and fought had already given me a vague idea of what my parents were doing. Their heads were on the other side, and their feet were about half a meter away from my pillow. In the quiet night, their suppressed breathing and the "splashing" sound of my dad's penis thrusting in and out of my mom's wet vagina were so clear... Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that my dad's movements had increased in intensity, and the thrusting was getting faster and faster, like a tireless pile driver. At this moment, Mom's moans grew louder, and suddenly Dad jerked violently—I later realized he had ejaculated—before collapsing onto Mom's stomach. Almost simultaneously, I saw Mom's toes clench as if electrocuted, then release, no more than half a meter away from the pillow. Exhausted, both were panting heavily. After a while, Dad turned to Mom and they kissed passionately. This was the first time in my life I had ever seen my parents kiss. After a while of tenderness, Dad got up and went to sleep in the main room. It was so exciting! From then on, I was like a man possessed, secretly seeking every opportunity to spy on them. The winters in the north were exceptionally cold; I remember that back then, the family urinated in the chamber pot on the floor of the outer room late at night. Countless times, in the quiet of the night, the sound of Mom urinating was so alluring: listening to the soft, dribbling sound of her urine on the floor of the outer room, imagining the stream of fluid shooting out from her dark, curly pubic hair, my penis shamelessly hardened like a scorching iron rod. Countless nights I imagined myself on top of Mom, having intercourse with her, not Dad! I remember during the summer vacation of my first year of high school, the factory organized a recuperation trip, and Dad went to Beidaihe, leaving just Mom and me at home. It was

August in the north, the weather was muggy, though a little better in the mornings and evenings. Normally, I slept alone in my small room, but that day, I remember it was a weekend, and because we were watching TV (the TV was in my parents' main room), and Dad wasn't home, Mom and I slept together on the kang (heated brick bed) in the main room. Around three or four in the morning, I woke up needing to pee and went to the yard to relieve myself. Because it was summer, it was already light. The morning air was much cooler than during the day. When I got back to the kang (heated brick bed), I was no longer drowsy but quite awake. I noticed that my mother's thin blanket had been kicked off, and she was only wearing a vest and panties, revealing her plump, white thighs. Her soft snoring indicated she was still fast asleep. My mother, in her forties, wasn't tall, but her slightly plump body exuded a mature charm, especially her full, round breasts. Having already experienced masturbation, I suddenly felt inexplicably excited, a strong urge welling up inside me. Because I had tossed and turned in my sleep, the fabric covering her vulva in her panties had thinned considerably, revealing some curly, dark pubic hair. Looking at my sleeping mother, I felt my face burning with excitement, my mind blank—it was so stimulating! After all, that was the place where I was born sixteen years ago! I quietly moved closer, my excitement intense as I looked at the curly, dark pubic hair peeking out from the center of her panties. With trembling hands, I gently tried to pull the strip of fabric covering Mom's vulva in the middle of her panties to the side, almost completely exposing her vulva: a thin, long slit in the middle surrounded by many curved, dark pubic hairs. The slit was slightly parted, revealing two small, dark reddish labia. I was incredibly excited; I could almost hear my own heart pounding. After calming myself down, I quietly brought my nose closer and smelled a faint, musky scent! I did all this while lying down next to Mom's thighs, constantly glancing up to see if she was waking up. At this point, just smelling wasn't enough; I wanted to touch her myself. I straightened up, swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself down, stopping my hands from trembling. At this moment, it could be said that my animalistic instincts had overcome my reason. I gently touched Mom's pubic hair and the two small, dark reddish labia with my index finger and thumb, touching them very gently, afraid that Mom would wake up. I looked up; Mom was still fast asleep. Then, I used my thumb and forefinger to slightly separate my mother's vagina. Inside, I saw pinkish folds, completely different from the outside – that was her vagina. There was a small opening below. I tentatively inserted my finger little by little, feeling a slight warmth. Suddenly, my mother's body stirred. Instinctively, I pulled my finger out. My mother opened her eyes, half-closed: "What are you doing? Aren't you sleeping!" With unusual quickness, I grabbed the thin blanket that my mother had kicked aside. "Mom, cover yourself up and sleep." By then, my mother had gotten up and gone to the yard to use the toilet. I could feel my heart pounding with nervousness. I figured she wouldn't be able to sleep soundly again when she got back! I returned to my room, gripping my burning hot penis, recalling the stimulating scene, imagining myself on top of my sleeping mother like my father, thrusting violently… Soon, I ejaculated with excitement. After the instant pleasure, a sense of loss immediately followed. Did my mother sense everything that had just happened? Had I gone crazy? For over a week afterward, I didn't dare look my mother in the eye when we talked. Naturally, I also didn't dare mention again that I wanted to sleep in the main room.

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