[Modern Romance] The Happy Life of a Sister-in-Law

My sister-in-law, Zhang Miao, is in her early thirties. She has fair skin, a good figure, and bright eyes; her hair is short and ear-length. If she wore a gray military uniform and an octagonal cap adorned with a red five-pointed star, she would look exactly like a spirited female Red Army soldier from 70 years ago, standing in the Long March, reciting clapper rhymes. However, my sister-in-law loves fashion and is willing to spend money on her clothes. Although she only graduated from nursing school and her cultural background isn't particularly profound, her style is quite sophisticated. To put it simply, whether viewed from afar or up close, my sister-in-law is a beautiful young woman with good looks, taste, and style.

In this world, many things, generally speaking, once done the first time, will not happen again. For example, contracting mumps, or going to jail; but many things, once done the first time, will inevitably happen two, three, four, or even five times. For example, sexual intercourse, or divorce. My sister-in-law divorced once at the end of the last century, a second time at the beginning of this century, and then a third time. Each of the three divorces had different characteristics. The first divorce was truly regrettable: her husband was a bank employee, with a good income, handsome looks, and a smart son, yet she was determined to go down this path to the bitter end. The second divorce process was incredibly difficult: the woman was adamant about divorce, the man was adamant about not divorcing. They fought and argued while going through the paperwork, appearing in court at least ten times across two levels. Their lawyers argued fiercely, their arguments becoming increasingly heated, and their respective families and friends cheered and punched each other, creating a chaotic scene. In the end, the sister-in-law was exhausted and severely weakened. The third divorce was astonishingly quick: the marriage and divorce certificates were processed almost in a single day.

My interest in my sister-in-law began in the last two years. The most direct reason was her sister, my wife Zhang E's, increasingly severe sexual frigidity, which had now completely ruined her. If you don't touch her for weeks at night, she'll be incredibly happy. In bed, she'll reminisce about the past, talk about the present, and envision the future, talking endlessly. The slightest movement from you, and she transforms completely: frowning, sighing, as if she's gravely ill and near death. If I manage to coax her into mounting me, she's like a zombie, lying motionless on the bed. She's either urging me to "hurry up," or complaining about what I haven't done that day, what I must do tomorrow, or demanding I buy her this or that as a reward, leaving me in a dilemma. If I try to engage in a sexual conversation, asking "Is it comfortable?" she scoffs, not bothering to answer a single word, leaving me to grit my teeth and persevere alone. My wife is just over 40, but with two children, not only has her psychology changed, but her physiology has too. Before, that thing was a narrow passage, bringing me countless blissful moments; but now it feels like a massive air-raid shelter. Even if you had ten penises bundled together, it wouldn't feel anything special inside.

Is it okay to get involved with one's sister-in-law? I think the first step is to address the issue ideologically. And to resolve this, as long as it's legally and morally acceptable, the rest isn't a problem. Even during the most severe periods of extreme left-wing ideology, the law allowed ample room for brother-in-law and sister-in-law to meet; and in today's more progressive society, it's practically a green light, except that it doesn't explicitly require the brother-in-law to have an affair with his sister-in-law. As for morality, that's a whole other story. "A sister-in-law is half a wife," and "Sisters-in-law, if they meet, they'll sleep together"—these two well-known proverbs, shared by officials and the public, fully illustrate the understanding, tolerance, expectation, and appreciation of the Chinese people regarding this matter. It even makes one wonder if a brother-in-law who hasn't slept with his sister-in-law has a moral problem, and if a sister-in-law who hasn't slept with her brother-in-law is violating local customs and traditions. Some comrades believe that a sister-in-law's lack of initiative and defiance towards her brother-in-law, even when he hints at it, constitutes an unstable factor in building a harmonious society. This view is somewhat exaggerated, and I strongly disagree.

From a certain perspective, allowing brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law to roam freely in their "Garden of Eden" has profound social significance. Ordinary people are not like emperors, busy with countless affairs of state and having countless women at night; nor are they like wealthy merchants or bureaucrats, getting married every day and consummating their marriages every night. They are not only a vulnerable group politically and economically, but also in their sex lives. Therefore, treating brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law as their own private domain, and giving them preferential treatment in policies and regulations, is more beneficial than harmful in reconciling various contradictions, balancing the emotions of the upper and lower classes, stabilizing normal social order, and promoting the construction of new rural areas and new communities. It reflects society's humane care and protection for vulnerable groups.

To be honest, I have always thought from the bottom of my heart that the idea of "a sister-in-law is half a wife" is quite good. Now I understand this much more deeply. For ordinary people like us, monogamy is indeed a bit tight, but 1.5 wives is just right. It's like eating the same dish every day; it gets too monotonous. But if you add a small dish every now and then, life becomes much more interesting.

Having resolved the mental issue, getting my sister-in-law is just a matter of making the decision and then putting it into practice.

My indecisiveness, wavering between doing it and not doing it, has left my "half" wife with only a title, practically nonexistent. Now, my "half" wife is slowly becoming "half" herself; 1.5 is actually 0.5. A sensible brother-in-law usually takes his sister-in-law's virginity to prevent the "good fortune" from going to outsiders. I not only haven't had my virginity, but I haven't even enjoyed a second night with her. I feel so painful, so stifled, so defeated, so lacking in ambition and a sense of accomplishment. If before it was those ingrained, outdated moral values that haunted me, making me anxious and indecisive, now I must boldly move forward and not look back! No matter what, I wouldn't lay a finger on other women, but my dear sister-in-law is just a piece of meat on my tongue, a handful of grass right next to my nest—it's only natural and easy to take advantage of her.

I've had countless opportunities to be intimate with my sister-in-law, but I've missed them every time.

Zhang Miao was only 19 years old that year, a recent graduate of a two-year nursing program, with her job and marriage uncertain. At the end of August, a distant relative in Wuhan died. Her parents-in-law were both busy with their jobs, and her wife, newly self-employed, was even busier. I, on summer vacation, was idle all day, so her mother-in-law decided that I, along with her younger sister, would represent both families to attend the funeral. This was no easy task. In the 1980s, the road from the remote mountains to Wuhan was incredibly bad—full of potholes; the car was terribly dilapidated—patched up inside and out. Along the way, like other passengers, her younger sister would either bounce into my arms when the car went over a large pothole, or I would be bumped against her chest during sudden braking. Once, my right hand, like a thrown branch, struck her firm breast. Zhang Miao certainly wasn't wearing a bra that day, otherwise, how could the sensation have been so strange? So impactful? Naturally, both of us were embarrassed and didn't say anything—neither of us knew what to say. On the way back, there weren't many passengers, and the car, looking even more exhausted than the people, had finally broken down in a small town. It was already the middle of the night. The driver opened the hood, tapped here and there with a hammer, and finally said, "We can't go any further today. Everyone, find a place to rest." Helpless, I had no choice but to take my sister-in-law along the street looking for a hotel—back then, there weren't any "grand hotels," "reception halls," or "foot massage parlors." The town was small, and the two larger ones were occupied by representatives of the local three-level cadre meeting that was being held. We finally found one on the side of the street. We squeezed in as an old man wearing glasses, who looked to be in his sixties, was closing the door. Perhaps the lighting was too dim to see clearly, perhaps it was late at night and the old man was dizzy and less vigilant, perhaps it was my good-looking baby face that made me look particularly young at 30, or perhaps it was because my sister-in-law looked dusty and tired from her long journey, and looked to be about my age. Anyway, the old man said as he closed the door, "There's only one room left. You two are lucky. It's too late tonight, you should go in and sleep first, and register tomorrow morning." Strangely enough, neither Zhang Miao nor I explained anything at the time. Did you have any thoughts? Of course we did. You probably wouldn't believe it if I told you, "hypocritically": to save the cost of two rooms, one was enough—back then, my monthly salary was less than 100 yuan, and I had two sons to support and two elderly parents to care for. I don't know what Zhang Miao was thinking. I didn't ask, and I didn't ask many years later. As television became a common sight in every household, I discovered that many movies and TV series depicted the scenes that my sister-in-law and I had experienced. The difference was that the men and women in the play, in that small space, performed a heart-wrenching and unforgettable love story, accompanied by flirtatious dialogue, passionate kisses, and fiery lovemaking… while nothing happened to us! Zhang Miao slept in bed, and I lay on the faux leather-covered double sofa. Peaceful, peaceful indeed! There's a small detail worth mentioning: as I was still half-asleep, I felt someone gently nudging me. I struggled to open my eyes and saw my sister-in-law wearing a tight-fitting tank top and flesh-colored shorts, quietly asking, "Brother, are you cold?" I mumbled an "No," turned over, and went back to sleep. Years later, when I recalled this detail, and remembered my sister-in-law's dejected and depressed mood on the bus the next day, I slapped myself hard several times. Cold at the end of August?! She was wearing a tank top and shorts herself! A perfectly obvious excuse! If I said I was cold, she would say, "Then squeeze into the bed!" Even the dead would spark a flame if a man and woman were in the same bed! I simultaneously berated myself for being such a good brother-in-law, and secretly marveled at how pure my thoughts and high moral standards had been back then! From then on, I longed to hear news of distant relatives dying, and strangely enough, almost 20 years later, they're all still alive and well. I never had the chance to be alone with my sister-in-law in a room while she was away again.

Ever since I figured out the meaning behind her "Brother, are you cold?", besides feeling remorse and self-reproach, I paid extra attention to her every move and word in front of me, trying to catch any possible clues—I couldn't let this opportunity slip away again! However, although we were often together—at her house, at my house, at my mother-in-law's house—playing, talking, and eating a lot, it never felt like what I longed for. Some of her words, especially those we said alone, I would ponder over and over again, meticulously analyzing and analyzing them, racking my brains, only to arrive at conclusions that left me utterly devastated and heartbroken.

During the Spring Festival of the millennium, we all spent the holiday at my in-laws' house. As the eldest son-in-law, trying to make a good impression, I worked tirelessly from morning till night like a laborer. I had just finished roasting the cured pork when I was washing lotus roots for stewing pork ribs in icy water. My sister-in-law, wearing a bright red down jacket, who had been separated from her second husband for several months but seemed to be in good spirits, came over and asked, "Brother, are you cold?" I casually replied, "No, no." Suddenly, I remembered that night in that small town, that roadside inn, and in my sleepy state, those were the very four words my sister-in-law had asked! Wow! Finally! This incredible news had arrived, my second spring had begun! This is the most generous gift the millennium has given me! A shiver ran through me, and with a touch of shyness, I looked up. Zhang Miao was already gone. Hearing the soft thud of her shoes on the ground, and watching her unhurried, swaying back, I suddenly snapped back to reality: it was an extremely ordinary and normal question. "Brother, are you cold?" The words were heavy, but the meaning was not. I was overthinking it, truly overthinking it. At the New Year's Eve dinner table, we drank, we ate meat, we made a ruckus. I carefully observed my sister-in-law's expression, especially when our eyes met—once again proving my final conclusion correct. She didn't mean what I was thinking when she asked the question. After dinner, we all went home to watch the Spring Festival Gala. As I watched, another thought surfaced: what if the words were heavy, but the meaning was heavy? What if she was waiting for me expectantly in her bedroom right now? If I didn't go, my loss would be too great! I could be absolutely certain that if I didn't seize this opportunity, there would never be a third time. Yes, in this kind of situation, it's better to make a thousand mistakes than to miss one. I stammered to my wife, "I'm going out to clear my head," then opened the door, went downstairs, and walked into the deserted, cold street. You can imagine how uneasy I felt at that moment—plus waves of shame washing over me. But I stubbornly overcame one psychological hurdle after another, resolutely moving forward. Half an hour later, I tiptoed to my sister-in-law's door, only to hear Zhang Miao laughing and talking loudly with a man inside. I wasn't sure who the man was, but I was certain that they were both in particularly cheerful moods, their smiles particularly radiant—definitely not the mood or atmosphere one would expect from a single woman waiting for her lover. I retreated quickly like a thief, and after standing in the cold wind for another half hour, I smiled bitterly and shivered as I knocked on my own door.

Not long after my sister-in-law's third divorce—which was only a few years ago—one night, I was sound asleep when the phone suddenly rang loudly. I picked up the phone, and it was Zhang Miao's voice. "Big brother, come play cards." "What time is it?" "12 o'clock. Hurry up." How strange! We do play mahjong together from time to time, but we've never organized a game in the middle of the night. Could it be? I jumped up and got dressed. No doubt about it, she couldn't hold on for two months after the divorce, and seeing that I was easy to bully, she's got her eye on my brother-in-law. And me? I'm waiting! On the way, the thought of seeing and touching my sister-in-law's naked body on the bed made me quicken my pace. Zhang Miao is 8 years younger than her sister, and even more outstanding, with a very feminine charm. Her two firm breasts and round buttocks are top-notch whether viewed from the front or the side. One can imagine that her most intimate parts are even more breathtaking and beautiful. Some people think that women are all different on top, but all the same on the bottom. Wrong! Completely wrong. There are 360 professions, and every profession has its expert. The human body is no exception. No matter the part or organ, there are good and bad, beautiful and ugly. So there are hand models, leg models, breast models, and what about the genitals? The most precious of treasures, of course, has its models, its champions, runners-up, queens, and kings of kings. Along the way, I wondered, once I got on top, should I go for a storm or a gentle breeze? The former is masculine, rugged, manly, and exhilarating, but the downside is that it's fast, always leaving you wanting more; the latter is refined, tender, and gentle, but it always feels like something a pedantic scholar would do. Once, I gently rocked and swayed on top of my wife, and in the end, we both fell asleep! By the time I decided to use the storm to show my sister-in-law what a powerful older brother was, I had already arrived at Zhang Miao's door. I raised my right hand to press the doorbell, and my heart was pounding, I even had the same feeling as when I first knocked on her sister's door decades ago. That night, my wishes came true, and I returned home laden with prizes. Little did I expect that tonight the same story would repeat itself with her sister. —What good deeds did my ancestors do to deserve such favor? Or is that saying simply true: good people are always rewarded? The door opened. It was my sister-in-law herself. In the center of the living room, the mahjong tiles were already laid out on the table, and two strangers, a man and a woman, were sitting in chairs waiting for me!

[To be continued]

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[Modern Romance] The Happy Life of a Sister-in-Law

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