Unfortunately, time cannot be turned back.

When I first entered university, I was unfamiliar with everyone and everything. I think anyone who has been to university can deeply understand the loneliness and isolation I felt. So I often called her, but she was always indifferent to me. I was already lonely, and after calling her, my heart grew even colder. Just then, a girl in my class caught my eye. She was pretty, had a great personality, and most importantly, she was interested in me too. I made up my mind to confront her. I called her and was very direct. I said, "You know I've always liked you. Do you like me or not?" She thought for a few seconds, and then said something I'll never forget: "I'm sorry, I still don't have feelings for you." From then on, I never contacted her again throughout university. I also became boyfriend and girlfriend with that female classmate from university. You might not believe it, but that female classmate from university is now my wife.

The year I graduated from university, I passed the civil service exam in my hometown. The following year, I got married. Because my wife and I didn't live in the same city, she came to live with me. I wanted to give her a stable home as soon as possible. Three years after graduation, we had a son. At that point, I could say I was settled and established. From the first phone call I made to her until my marriage and the birth of my child, I never contacted her again. But I still haven't forgotten her; she remains deep in my heart. Sometimes I wonder where she works now, if she's married. I've never asked. I admit I'm still afraid to hear her say she's married. The unattainable is always the best—I deeply understand this saying. I think we'll never cross paths again in this lifetime.

It was by chance, I remember it clearly, it was October 2nd, 2012. The day before, my wife had taken the kids to her parents' house for the National Day holiday, and the house was quiet. With nothing to do, I went on QQ, and she was online that day. We chatted for a bit. I learned that she had just graduated with her master's degree and was currently at home sending out resumes and looking for a job. She had met her boyfriend during her master's studies; he was a primary school classmate. They met again when she went home for the Spring Festival and became a couple. He was currently working in another city. I told her about my situation, and she seemed quite envious. She said she just wanted a stable job and a peaceful home, but these things seemed so far away now. I casually said, "Let's go out tomorrow, okay?" I never expected her to agree. I had asked her out so many times before, and she always refused. Now I was married, and she had a boyfriend, so why would she agree? But to my surprise, she did. Although it was unexpected, I no longer felt the excitement I used to have. What difference would it make if I asked her out? I was someone else's husband, and she was about to become someone else's wife.

The next day, I drove to the agreed-upon location to pick her up, and then drove to a scenic area in the county. Surprisingly, she didn't ask where we were going and just let me drive her, which made me feel good; it meant she trusted me. We chatted a lot on the way, from elementary school all the way to university. When we arrived at the scenic area, we got out of the car. It was a natural scenic area; it used to have mountains and water, which was quite nice, but unfortunately, there was no water when we went, so it wasn't very interesting. I was a little worried because I'm a civil servant and know many people, and I was afraid of being seen by acquaintances. So, after we walked around for a while, I pulled her back into the car. I said, "Let me take you over there for a bit." This time, I was just taking her for a stroll without a specific destination. We crossed a hill and walked for a long time. I was surprised to find that we had reached another county. Afraid of getting lost if we continued, I turned and followed the road signs back. We chatted and laughed along the way. I even asked her why she didn't like me back then. She said she just didn't want to be in a relationship. I didn't ask any more questions. We ate at a restaurant on the way. After lunch, it was already afternoon, so I prepared to take her home. On the way home, I asked her, "If I could turn back time and go back to when we had just graduated from high school, would you accept me?" She was silent. We didn't say anything until we were almost at her house. When we were almost at her house, I still didn't want to part with her. I said, "Let's go somewhere else." She looked at me and asked, "Where?" I could see her reluctance in her eyes. I don't know where I got the courage, but I thought of a place and turned around and drove there.

Upon arriving at our destination, I told her to get out of the car. I took her to a hotel. I wasn't sure she would agree to let me bring her there. She hesitated for a moment, but then got out of the car with me. I booked a room at the front desk, and we went inside together. As soon as the door closed, I leaned her against it and started kissing her passionately. At first, she kept her mouth closed, not letting my tongue in, but she gradually opened up. We kissed all the way to the bed, until finally she pushed me away and said she was going to take a shower. I said okay. She was too embarrassed to undress in front of me and went straight to the bathroom. I followed her in. She said, "You go out first." I said, "I want to watch you undress." So she didn't ask me to leave, and I watched her take off her clothes one by one. Finally, her entire body was revealed to me: firm breasts, a shapely bottom, and a flat stomach. I said, "You have a great figure." She didn't say anything and continued showering. My penis was already incredibly hard, so I went outside, took off all my clothes, and went back inside. When she saw me come in like that, she was surprised and said, "You go out first, I'll wash first, then you can wash." I said, "I want to wash with you." Then I hugged her from behind, and the water gushed onto both of us. I held her and kept kneading her breasts. Her nipples weren't big, but they were very pale, unlike my wife's, which had turned dark. My penis was also rubbing around her buttocks. I could feel her breathing getting heavier. I touched her vulva; it was already overflowing with vaginal fluid. I couldn't hold back any longer. I didn't care about foreplay or use a condom and just thrust into her from behind. She let out an "Ah!" and then put her hands on the wall. I put my hands on her hips and thrust hard. This was the moment I had dreamed of for so many times. I had finally achieved it. I had finally entered the body of the woman I loved most. Her moans weren't loud, but I could feel her excitement. Her hips were constantly responding to my thrusts. I thrust harder and faster, and her moans grew louder and louder. I was so excited. I asked, "Are you in your safe period?" Perhaps because of the excitement, her mind was a little hazy. She hummed in response, and then I ejaculated inside her. After the climax, we took a shower together and then went to bed.

After we got into bed, she covered herself with the blanket. I pulled it off and said I wanted to take a good look at her body. She said, "Didn't I already let you see?" I said, "How could I have seen clearly before?" So I tried to spread her legs. At first, she didn't want to, keeping her legs tightly closed, saying, "What's there to see? It's ugly." I said, "I just want to see." She couldn't resist me, so she spread her legs, and her entire genitals were completely exposed to me. She had a lot of pubic hair, and there was some pubic hair around her labia. Her labia were quite large and had turned somewhat dark. Because we had just been intimate, her vagina was still slightly open. I couldn't resist and suddenly leaned over to lick her vagina. She cried out, "No, it's dirty!" Then she clamped her legs tightly around my head, saying, "No, no..." The more she did this, the more I sucked on her vulva. Slowly, she started moaning. After I finished licking her vulva, I gently bit her labia, and then I started licking her clitoris. Her private parts were completely wet, mixed with my saliva and her vaginal fluid. Later, I asked her to give me oral sex, but she refused. She said she didn't know how, so don't force me. Seeing her pitiful look, I couldn't bear it. I asked if she should use a condom. She said she hadn't used one before, so she shouldn't use one this time either. So I just went straight in. This time we were in the normal missionary position. I kissed her as I thrust in and out. Her moans were so beautiful, and the more I listened, the more excited I got. My movements became faster and faster. After a while, we changed positions. She knelt on the bed, and I entered her from behind. Her buttocks were facing me; she looked so sexy. I slapped her buttocks as I thrust in and out, and her moans grew louder and louder. Just then, something unexpected happened. Her phone rang, which startled us. Since the phone was on the bedside table, she reached for it. At this moment, my penis was still thrusting in and out of her vagina. She made a shushing gesture, meaning I should stop. I slowed down. She answered the phone. It was her ex-boyfriend. I heard him ask her what she wanted. She said she was at a classmate's house, which actually excited me even more. She was on the phone with her boyfriend, while I was having sex with his girlfriend. While she was on the phone, I increased the frequency, and her voice changed. Then she made an excuse and hung up immediately. After hanging up, she started moaning louder. Then we changed positions, this time she was on top, vigorously twisting her hips. My penis was sitting on her like that, and I felt incredibly good. After a while, I felt like I was about to ejaculate, so I laid her down on the bed, returned to the normal position, and frantically thrust into her dozens of times, finally ejaculating inside her vagina. We cleaned up and went back to bed to rest. I asked her how it felt when her boyfriend called. She said she was terrified. "You're really something," she said.

Later, we chatted about random things. I asked her when she had her first time, and she said around Chinese New Year this year. I asked her if it felt better when I fucked her or when her boyfriend fucked her. She said she didn't want me to mention him at this time. I said I was sorry. I asked her if she would have said yes if I hadn't given up pursuing her in college. She said she didn't know, maybe. Throughout the whole conversation, I was the one asking her questions; she never asked me a single one.

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Unfortunately, time cannot be turned back.

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