Jiarong's Interesting Talk

Jiarong's Humorous Anecdotes

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"Hello... Jiarong? This is Xiaojiang... Come to Linkou XX Hospital quickly... Yuanhua... he's in trouble..."
"Ah... what happened to him?"
"You'll know when you get here, because his condition is quite serious..."
"Oh... I'll be right there..."
After hanging up the phone, I immediately drove off towards the hospital, constantly wondering what might have happened to Yuanhua that had him in the hospital.
Xiaojiang and You Yuanhua are both my best friends and buddies. We often eat together, play cards, and exchange tips on picking up girls; if there are any nice new girls at a hotel, we'll share them with each other. Occasionally, we even act like cousins, doing a post-coital review of our experiences. You could say we're the best of friends.
So when I heard about his accident, based on our friendship and the fact that he was a loyal policyholder, I naturally rushed to the hospital to find out what happened so I could help him process his insurance claim as soon as possible.
But all the answers wouldn't be known until we got to the hospital. To make matters worse, a heavy thunderstorm was raging outside, and malfunctioning traffic lights at some intersections were causing massive traffic jams in Taipei and on highways, leaving me stuck in traffic. Only those who have experienced this can understand the anxiety and unease I felt.
All the way there, I kept wondering what had caused him to be in the hospital. Was he driving under the influence? But it wasn't even evening yet; he shouldn't have been that drunk. Or had he been in an accident? But if Xiao Jiang was with him, why was he injured while Xiao Jiang was fine?
This series of questions kept me stuck in traffic, racking my brains, but I still couldn't find the answers. It seemed the only way to find out was at the hospital!
Finally, I managed to squeeze into the hospital at a snail's pace through traffic. After parking, I rushed to Yuanhua's ward to check on him.
Upon entering, I saw Xiao Jiang sitting beside his bed. Yuanhua had one leg suspended in mid-air with a brace, and his right hand was in a cast. There were no other obvious serious injuries on his upper body. He seemed to have just been moved here from the operating room and wasn't fully awake yet, but it didn't seem as serious as I had imagined.
When Xiao Jiang saw me, he asked me to switch shifts with him, saying his family would be arriving soon. He gave me a mysterious smile and then excused himself, saying he had to leave. So, I unwittingly became his temporary caregiver.
After a while, Yuanhua finally woke up.
"Jiarong...you're here..."
"Hmm...what happened to you? You don't look too badly injured, but it's not exactly minor either...were you in a car accident?"
"Don't even mention it...could you get me a glass of water first..."
(Wow, are you my dad or my wife? You're asking me to get you water...oh well, I'll make an exception for you since you're sick!)
After he drank the water, his expression finally eased a little, and the first thing he said to me was, "Jiarong...you have to help me with the insurance claim, otherwise all that money I paid will have been for nothing..." (He really loves money!)
"No problem, I'll take care of it. We're best buddies, after all. But you have to tell me what happened, otherwise I won't know what to write on the claim report..."
"Um... this... look how badly I'm injured, can't I even get compensation... you can tell from my condition that I have broken my arms and legs; by the way, don't you often write novels? With your skills, you could easily write something, why ask so many questions..."
(Strange! Usually, my clients will explain the cause of the incident to me in great detail, embellishing the story, but Yuanhua's behavior today is really too abnormal, something's not right! There must be something fishy going on.)
I thought about the suspicious points in my mind and started to try to get him to talk, maybe there really is some unspeakable gossip behind this.
"Hey buddy... writing a novel is different from writing a report. What if I make something up and the claims investigator finds it's fake? Not only will you not get a penny, but I'll also be charged with forgery and fraud. If I lose my job and go to jail because of this, it's not worth it." "
Is it that serious... then forget it, don't pay..."
"Wow... boss... you're really rich. Do you know that based on your accidental injury insurance and medical hospitalization insurance claims, you can get a lot of money? You're just going to give it up like that? Why don't you just change the beneficiary to me, and then I'll push you out and let a car hit you to death. That way, after I get the money, I can also 'take care' of your sister-in-law, okay?" I smiled wickedly...
"Hey! Xu Jiarong... don't go too far. My wife is mine for personal use. Don't even think about it, or I'll haunt you even as a ghost..."
"Hehe... Boss, I know 'a friend's wife is the best to ride,' no... I mean, you shouldn't joke
around with her. I was just kidding, don't be angry..." "You can't joke about someone's wife like that. Even though we're sometimes like cousins, those are all prostitutes. But don't even think about getting your hands on my wife..."
"Okay, okay... you should at least tell me why, otherwise I'll have the claims investigator check the medical records, and then we'll see how they compensate me!"
"Ah... okay, okay, I'll tell you, but you have to help me get the insurance money!"
"As long as you don't exaggerate too much, I'll definitely try my best to get it for you!"
"Sigh...it's all Xiao Jiang's fault...it's all his
fault..." "What does it have to do with him? He wasn't injured, and he came to take care of you right away. You still dare to talk bad about him behind his back. Be careful, there's a recording. If he catches you, you'll have a good show to watch..." "
It's good that Teacher Gan Yi is here. It would be even better if he caught me...you don't know, he's the one who brought me to the hospital!"
"What!"
I was completely confused. Why would Xiao Jiang be hanging out with him in broad daylight? They work for different companies and have no business dealings. When did two grown men become so close? Could they be involved in homosexuality?
To unravel this century's mystery, I'm willing to ignore my soon-to-be-closed policyholder and prepare to reveal his biggest gossip to Jing Yuanhua. If he suddenly changes his ways and starts playing the homosexual or bisexual game, then I'll never hang out with either of them again. Otherwise, if my ass gets deflowered one day, I might just disappear from this lovely "Erotic Coastline" garden, and I'd be even more sorry to my supporters, because I really don't want to say that I've also become a homosexual.
"Hmm...you wouldn't have changed your gender and become a homosexual, would you...? If so, then it's your own fault that Xiao Jiang hurt you because he resisted you..."
"Wow...Jia Rong, your imagination is too rich...Besides, if I were to hook up with a guy, I'd look for someone thinner, not that fat pig Xiao Jiang who's always out of breath...forget it!"
"Then what does it have to do with him?"
"Just sit down and tell me..."
So I poured a glass of water and sat down by his bed. It's a pity this is a hospital, otherwise I would have bought a bag of peanuts or snacks and become a loyal listener like a storyteller telling tales, listening to his story...
"Do you remember the hotel in Zhongli we went to last week?"
"I remember, didn't you order a pretty girl named Wenwen? We were jealous that you got there first and didn't even save some for us..."
I remember last Friday at one o'clock in the morning, after my family was asleep, Yuanhua, Xiaojiang, my two best friends—Xiaozhuang and Bao Ge, and I met at the entrance of the Minquan West Road MRT station. I drove straight to that famous hotel in Zhongli because Yuanhua said that a new girl had come there, Wenwen, who was quite hot and had a good figure, so we all wanted to go and see her, and also to support her and feed our thirsty drinking bugs.
We've been to this hotel many times before, so we know the PR manager quite well. As soon as Yuanhua walked in, he ordered Wenwen's table. We had no choice but to call a few acquaintances to accompany him, because this time we just wanted to see how beautiful Wenwen was, as Yuanhua had described.
And this trip was definitely worthwhile. When she came in last, all of us lecherous guys couldn't help but drool greedily.
Actually, when it comes to spending money at a hotel, the first thing we look at is her face, the second is her figure, and the last is her interaction with the guests. This is our lecherous guild's spending principle, and Wenwen certainly met all these criteria. A
classic oval face paired with bright, captivating eyes that could electrify anyone. Any man who saw her would be mesmerized by her gaze, forgetting what year it was, what his wife and children's names were, and only wanting to willingly hand over a wad of cash for a single smile from her.
Her slightly parted lips seemed capable of accommodating penises of various sizes. Seeing her made me want to put my own penis in her mouth to test her bite and experience the wonderful taste of oral sex. Her
large breasts, estimated at 34D, were encased in a sequined dark blue bra, and her lower body was covered by a matching thong, with only a sheer overlay, revealing her entire beautiful curves.
In the private room, she was poised and confident, decisive and daring, with a sweet tongue, constantly calling us "Brother Jiang" and "Brother Xu" affectionately, captivating us so much that we forgot where we were, forgot the time to go home, and only wanted to stay in that small private room with her forever. Just
as I was reminiscing about the mesmerizing beauty of Wenwen, Yuanhua's voice pulled me back to harsh reality.
"Hey... Jiarong... come back to reality... cross the bridge... hurry back..."
"Hmm... ah... where were you?"
"You're still talking... where were you thinking? You didn't even say anything to me..."
"Hmm... what happened next? How does that relate to your injury?"
"Tell me..."
"Okay... just tell me already, stop keeping me in suspense..."
"It's your own fault for not paying attention, and you're blaming me... really..."
"After that day, Xiaojiang couldn't get Wenwen out of his mind and kept calling to bother me, wanting me to introduce him to her. Having no other choice, this afternoon I asked Xiaojiang to meet her for coffee to chat, hoping to get to know her better, and then I'd try to get her to spend the night with me."
"And then?"
"Wenwen finally agreed to come out with us, but she only wanted to spend the night with me and didn't want to sleep with Xiao Jiang. She whispered in my ear that she didn't want to get all greasy and disgusting later." "
Ugh! These days, prostitutes are picky about who they work for. The economy is so bad, and they're still so picky. But then again, I wouldn't want such a good woman to be ruined by someone like Xiao Jiang, because I've never tried it myself. What if she gets 'sex phobia' after sleeping with Xiao Jiang? Then I'd be out of fun!"
"Yeah, that's right... Hey! Xu Jiarong, what's it to you?"
"Okay... hurry up and finish..."
Because of my best friend relationship, I had to lie to her and say that Xiao Jiang would never sleep with her. At most, I would give him oral sex or masturbate to relieve him so that I could give him an explanation. And she finally agreed after a lot of trouble.
Later, we found a hotel nearby and checked in. Of course, I lied to my wife, saying I was going on a last-minute business trip to the south and wouldn't be back in Taipei for a day or two. Only after informing her did I feel comfortable letting her have fun.
We booked two rooms; Xiao Jiang had one by himself, and Wenwen and I shared one. When Wenwen went in to shower first, I called Xiao Jiang on the internal phone and told him to come knocking on the door in half an hour so it would be his turn. Although Xiao Jiang was reluctant, since we ended up having fun, he couldn't complain anymore.
When Wenwen came out of the shower, she was only wearing a large bath towel, and her breasts were even more prominent due to the towel's pressure, especially her alluring cleavage, which made me want to have sex with her.
As soon as she got into bed, she took off her towel and snuggled into my arms. When I saw her magnificent breasts, I knew I hadn't misjudged her; I'd picked a good catch. Looks like today I can finally satisfy the cravings I hadn't had during my baby oral stage.
I gave Wenwen a passionate kiss, and she didn't shy away; she responded enthusiastically, as if I were her boyfriend. She had none of the airs of a professional prostitute, and seemed to be enjoying it.
When my hand grasped her ample breasts, I was shocked. They were bigger than I'd imagined. Jiarong, let me tell you, I've been with so many women, but today I finally know what it means to have "a woman you can't hold in one hand." My entire palm couldn't contain them, and they were so bouncy! To use a Cantonese expression, they weren't just "bouncy," they were like those "beef balls" from the movie "The God of Cookery"—you could hit them like ping-pong balls!
"No way! Is it that exaggerated? Are you kidding me?"

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