【姇】(38)

Author: voxcaozz
First published on October 22, 2017
Word count: 7735 words
Compared
to the gentle and spring-like southern scenery, the human affairs in the north are much more robust and rugged. It
does not have the delicate and picturesque small bridges and flowing water, nor does it have the shimmering
waves of the black-awning boats listening to the passage of time by the bluestone slabs. But this cannot hide his innate unrestrained and wild nature. He
speaks boldly and eloquently over wine, full of vigor and ambition, his heart filled with the world. His temperament is flexible and unrestrained in the clear sky and light clouds,
and unyielding in the scorching sun and harsh winter. He integrates his return to simplicity into this homeland, just as the Qinglong River and the Yi River have always
nurtured the hometowns on both banks. It is simple and unadorned. When you shout, it is rustic and vulgar, but that is the feeling, that is
the taste!
Women are like water and like mud. When they are like water, they are gentle and serene, seemingly uncontested, their smiles full of confidence, bathed in
the spring breeze, their lives filled with carefree ease. But when they are like mud, they are like a different person, still soft but extremely clingy, their temperament
as changeable as their shape.
With childbirth approaching, the pain was unbearable, causing Li Xia's mood to fluctuate wildly. When she was in a good mood, she was like water, her eyes beautiful;
when she was in a bad mood, she was like mud, sticky and clingy, often throwing tantrums at Wei Zongjian, who had rushed home from abroad. This
feeling was completely different from when she was pregnant with Cheng Cheng, making her realize her lost youth. She understood that
one cannot stay young forever; happiness comes at a price.
After the Lunar New Year, as Li Xia's due date drew near, everything became tense and busy.
Wei Zongjian had already spoken to the hospital. Although they were all acquaintances, he couldn't be stingy in certain ways. So,
after securing a private room in advance, he specifically transferred the money, explained the situation, and asked his
friends at the hospital to smooth things over. A dinner was inevitable; he'd chat with friends and catch up, just in case his
wife needed a bed later and the hospital broke its rules to give him special treatment. Back home, he was busy again, preparing 　　everything:
a baby carrier, bottles, formula, diapers, salt, a mouthwash cup, bottled water, towels, blankets, and so on 　　—preparing everything regardless of whether it was needed or not. He even prepared a blanket for the accompanying parent. The check-in process was completed the day before Xia's due date 　　. 　　Having connections certainly made things easier. On the first night Li Xia was hospitalized, her ward was filled with 　　people offering various forms of care and concern, chatting and laughing, creating a lively atmosphere. Li Xia wasn't being dramatic; despite the hospital 　　's special treatment, she didn't choose to go home that night. She had already waited so long for ten months of pregnancy and childbirth, 　　a few more days would make things easier. So, Li Xia confidently told everyone that she wanted to get used to 　　the living environment beforehand, so she wouldn't have to travel back the next day. 　　This wasn't untrue; Old Li also quite agreed with his daughter's suggestion. He had originally wanted to stay overnight, but his grandson 　　needed to be picked up the next day. He asked his daughter, and Li Xia casually told him it wouldn't be a problem, but then secretly glanced at her father. 　　"After tomorrow, you won't have to suffer anymore," Old Li patted his daughter's small hand, comforting his 　　child and himself. This scene inevitably reminded him of many things, of his wife's childbirth years ago 　　, and of his daughter's grandson's birth. Though he said this, his heart was already filled with anxiety. 　　The single room was cramped, so crowded that there was barely any room to stand. 　　Li Xia waved to everyone, signaling them to go home and rest 　　. Xiao Yong and his wife, along with Huan Zhang and his wife, and the others, were persuaded to go home. Old Li and Chengcheng were the last to leave. Their daughter and son-in-law were worried about not getting enough rest, and Old Li knew this 　　wasn't the time to refuse, so he gave them some instructions. He watched Chengcheng kiss Li Xia, smiled, and led him away. 　　Nothing more was said that night. The next day, Old Li took Chengcheng to school and then rushed to the hospital. Before eight o'clock, Xiao Yong's family and 　　Huan Zhang and his wife arrived and stayed in the ward. 　　After eight o'clock, only four people remained in the ward: Xiao Yong and Xiu Huan, and Huan Zhang and his wife. 　　Wei Zongjian led Li Xia, dressed in a hospital gown, to begin the final prenatal checkup procedures. Old Li couldn't help but 　　follow closely behind. Watching the nurse draw blood from his daughter, tube after tube, he quickly turned his head away, unable to bear the 　　sight. His heart ached terribly, like a knife cutting into it. He desperately wanted to take those needles for his daughter, but knew it was a necessary part of the prenatal 　　process, and there was nothing he could do. 　　In the hospital, Old Li's mind was a jumble of panic and confusion. Numbly, he stayed by his daughter's side, tightly holding her 　　hand. He could feel his own body trembling uncontrollably, a tremor that came from the depths of his being. 　　His palms were already sweating profusely as he held his daughter's hand. 　　Although Old Li was merely an observer, his suffering was no less than Li Xia's, 　　and his nerves were on edge. 　　After watching his daughter have her blood pressure checked, and then undergo an electrocardiogram and ultrasound under the guidance of the medical staff, going 　　up and down the stairs for quite a while, Old Li had already given his daughter the tissues he had prepared. He noticed 　　an empty seat next to him, strode over, and stopped, saying, "Jianjian, 　　help Xiaxia come and rest for a while!" 　　The medical examination had been going on for over an hour, and things had finally calmed down. The surgery was actually at 10:30, so there was still 　　more than an hour to spare. Old Li suggested that his daughter lie down on the hospital bed and rest for a bit to help her relax and relieve stress. The room 　　was filled with noise as everyone chattered, trying to reassure Li Xia: these days, hospitals 　　have increasingly sophisticated medical equipment and constantly improving medical standards. Childbirth is no longer like it used to be, where 　　complications and deaths were common. Giving birth is basically as simple as eating and drinking—a minor surgery. 　　Whether it's a cesarean section or a natural birth, hospitals have rarely encountered any problems. 　　Then, when the topic turned to the current two-child policy, Old Li sighed, believing that 　　two children were better for a family. He felt that one child was ultimately lonely, lacking care and companionship. Furthermore, 　　since they were planning for a second child, they were considering the possibility of a different child; the first was a boy, so the second was bound to be...

They definitely wanted a girl, and vice versa. Of course, whether it's a boy or a girl, they're both precious to their parents.
After chatting for a while, seeing that things were about right, Lao Li quietly slipped out the door and whispered to Wei Zongjian ,
"There's nothing much going on for now, I'll go back and keep an eye on things. Chengcheng should be out of school around 10,
I'll pick her up and come back." He didn't say goodbye to the others, afraid of disturbing them. Before leaving, Lao Li glanced at
his daughter lying on the bed pretending to sleep, secretly encouraging himself and praying in his heart, "Dad will only be gone for a little while, I'll go back and
pick up Chengcheng and be right back."
In the hallway, Xiao Yong, Huan Zhang, and Wei Zongjian chatted idly, the topic revolving around having a second child. Every half
hour, they would see nurses announcing the arrival of pregnant women in their rooms, and then they would see one by one the women coming out
and getting into beds, with groups of four heading towards the operating room. This wasn't actually the most tense
moment, because Wei Zongjian knew that the time when the woman was wheeled into the operating room
was the most agonizing for those waiting outside.
Time ticked by, and Lao Li was frantic on his way to the hospital. His son had already
called twice, only to hang up before he could hear anything. Calling back resulted in busy signals,
making his heart pound. Then his son-in-law called, informing him that his
daughter was having a tantrum, and he desperately wanted to be with her.
As he rushed back to the ward with his grandson, Lao Li saw two nurses standing outside, shaking their heads.
Confused, he quickly approached, but before he even entered the room, one of the nurses said, "What's this again?
Giving birth and she's making a fuss…" Then her voice trailed off.
As soon as Lao Li entered the room, he saw a group of people comforting their daughter, but then he heard her say, "My dad isn't by my
side, I'm not confident about giving birth..."
When these words reached Lao Li's ears, he stopped abruptly. In a daze, his vision blurred
, as if he were transported back decades to his daughter's childhood.
"My dad hasn't come back yet, I won't eat..."
"My dad hasn't seen my little red flower yet..."
"My dad said he'd stay with me all day..."
"My dad loves me the most..."
Those heartfelt cries struck Lao Li's heart again and again. The feeling was truly unbearable for him
. Despite trying hard to control his emotions, Lao Li couldn't help but tear up. Pushing through the crowd, Old Li quickly stepped
forward to his daughter's side, reaching out to wipe away her tears. He gently called out, "Don't cry, Dad's here now, right
beside you!" He hugged his daughter tightly, just like many years ago, holding her close and
comforting her until a smile returned to her face.
This scene stirred a faint sadness in everyone's hearts. They didn't blame Li Xia for her stubbornness,
nor did they heed the nurse's urging. Moved, they watched Old Li comforting Li Xia. Although it wasn't a separation of life and death, it revealed
the deep bond between father and daughter. One moment they were laughing and talking confidently, the next they were tearful and filled with
fear, desperately wanting to see her father one last time to feel at ease, afraid that this brief separation would be forever
, never to see their loved one again. The complex and indescribable emotions they felt were a profound sorrow and regret.
"Daughter, let's go. Dad will be with you the whole way." Wiping Li Xia's eyes, Old Li comforted her,
instantly energizing her and lifting her spirits. She reached out and tightly grasped her father's hand.
Old Li helped her to her feet. In the bustling hospital, amidst a quiet crowd, this
ward became a haven of tranquility, reflecting the figures of the old man and the young woman, until they left the room and
stepped into the world.
"My dad isn't by my side, I can't give birth..."
"Don't be afraid, daughter, Dad's here, here to be with you... I've always been watching over you."
These words seemed to still echo in everyone's ears, touching them and filling them with envy and happiness
for Li Xia. With such a good father, what more could she ask for in this life!
The pre-operative consent form was to be signed by Wei Zongjian. Old Li couldn't overstep his bounds and complete this agreement for his son -in-law
. Standing outside the operating room, although Old Li greeted the group of unfamiliar family members and caregivers waiting outside with a smile
, he was actually more anxious than anyone else, yet he had to maintain his composure. Every time the operating room door opened
, Old Li would feign a retreat and peer inside, constantly looking up. Thinking of his daughter lying
on the operating table, his mind was a jumbled mess, with only one thought remaining: "Damn it, why is this time going on
so slowly..."
During the continuous wait, seeing his son-in-law pacing back and forth in front of him, Old Li was extremely annoyed, but
he had to smile and advise Wei Zongjian not to be so anxious and to just wait patiently. However, Wei Zongjian frowned slightly, staring at the
closed door, as if trying to see through it to see what was happening inside, to see if his daughter was alright. Then he
fell silent again... In half an hour, Old Li had gone to the stairwell to smoke three
cigarettes, still unable to calm his emotions or control the wildly pounding heart. Until the loudspeaker
announced repeatedly, "Li Xia's family, prepare to be born at 10:32, a girl, weighing 3500 grams,"
Old Li felt as if the clouds had parted and the sun had finally come out. He stared wide-eyed at the door that held the key to life and death
, feeling as if each day was an eternity, his heart once again in his throat.
With each step in and out, Old Li didn't know how he got back to the ward. He only vaguely remembered a few
fragmented moments… When the hospital bed was wheeled out, Old Li was the first to rush forward. Looking at
his daughter lying on the bed, covered with a blue blanket, Old Li clenched his teeth, his trembling hands silently adjusting
the blanket around her neck and shoulders, then shielding her head from the wind… “Does it hurt? Tell Dad…” “No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s alright.
Did you see, child? Why are you crying?” Li Xia’s voice was weak, but her face smiled calmly. She wanted
to reach out, but Old Li stopped her. “Don’t move, just lie still.” Having seen
the paleness on his daughter’s face, Old Li’s heart had been pounding ever since. He knew that although his daughter seemed strong, she was actually
enduring a lot. Even with anesthesia numbing her limbs, her heart wasn’t. And indeed, later…
He came to listen to his daughter's dental work. She said that during her surgery, her lower body was covered, so she couldn't see anything, but she could feel
a cut in her stomach, and something being pulled out of it...
That night, Lao Li stayed by Li Xia's side, never leaving her for a moment.
He just stared at her without blinking, wiping the sweat from her brow and recounting her past happy experiences with her. Every time he wiped her, he
would ask, "Does it still hurt? Should Dad go call the nurse for you right now?"
The more than one-foot-long incision was covered with gauze, so Lao Li couldn't see it, but he knew what it was. He also saw
the bloody mess below his daughter's body, with a long catheter inserted into her body. All of this was too cruel and
terrifying for Lao Li. He couldn't bear to look, but he had to lift the gauze again and again to wipe away the blood and check on his daughter's body
. Although the doctor had clearly told him not to worry, and that the wound had been sealed with a salt pack, he was
still uneasy and worried.
"Dad, I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me. What time is it? Go and rest, don't keep an eye on
me... How's the baby?" Li Xia shook her head, her face pale and her voice weak
. Despite this, she tried to appear stronger so her father wouldn't worry about her anymore.
Struggling, she turned her head to look at the baby in the crib.
Old Li shook his head as well, pressing his hand on Li Xia's wrist. He was worried that the IV needle in his daughter's wrist
might be crooked and affect her, and also afraid that any movement would aggravate her abdominal wound. He quickly said, "Dad's here with you.
Just rest quietly, don't say anything, don't do anything. If you feel uncomfortable anywhere, just tell Dad
. You don't need to worry about the rest. The baby has already been fed formula and is behaving very well."
When these words came from Old Li's mouth, although he tried to control his emotions, he was already choked
up, forcing him to turn his head away from his daughter's gaze.
"Dad, why are you crying again? I'm fine..." The transformation before and after childbirth had completely changed Li
Xia, making her stop her tantrums and return to her former gentle and quiet self.
"Dad is happy for you!" Wiping away tears, Old Li composed himself, silently
taking cotton swabs from the cabinet on the table, wetting them with water, and gently wiping Li Xia's
lips, again and again, with great patience. He then grabbed a silk handkerchief and gently wiped the sweat from her
forehead, starting from her temples, without saying a word, afraid of losing his composure and crying again.
As midnight approached, a young nurse came in to change Li Xia's IV. She glanced at the
heart rate, pulse pressure, and frequency on the monitor, then lifted the blanket to check Li Xia's genitals, and
was taken aback by the clean body she saw. No wonder she was so reluctant to go out for surgery before. With
such family by her side, I probably would have been even more troublesome if I were her. Now she feels so at ease,
without having to worry about anything.
After a series of envious sighs, the nurse asked Li Xia if she had any discomfort after the surgery. Seeing that there was nothing
serious, she quickly took out a thermometer. To her surprise, Lao Li immediately told her the result, which gave the nurse
another boost of confidence. Just before leaving, she remembered something, glanced back, and muttered to herself, "If the old man is thoughtful
and considerate, that's one thing, but isn't it a bit much for my father to clean my genitals?" She
then shook her head and sighed. "Even her husband didn't say anything, why are you meddling? You want
your father to serve you? Dream on...
" "Before you started the orphanage, Dad was so worried, afraid you'd be bullied. I secretly came to check on
you several times before I felt at ease." Recalling those days, Old Li wiped
the sweat from his daughter's forehead as he recounted the past to distract her, knowing that
the first night after surgery was the hardest. Even with anesthesia and a pain pump, it couldn't completely eliminate the pain
.
Old Li knew that surgery was extremely damaging to her health and vitality. He had already planned that once his daughter could eat
, he would cook the best meals for her to help her recover. He would also go to the old doctor in Lijiazhuang, Nanhe , to ask for some medicine to remove the scars from her incision, so that she could recover completely from the inside out and 　　fully replenish
her energy and body. 　　"Later, Dad still thought you were just a kid, but before I knew it, you'd graduated from elementary school. Dad 　　started having these worries again. The streets around middle school are so dirty. Every time I heard about someone being robbed or beaten, 　　my heart wouldn't be at peace for a moment, afraid it would affect you. Your mom said I was almost going crazy. But I 　　know in my heart that she still rode her bike to pick you up those two times. She, despite always trying to scare me, is just a soft-hearted 　　person with a tough exterior." Old Li rattled off the story in one breath, as if talking to himself, but revealing everything he'd memorized 　　to his daughter, trying to distract her. 　　"Dad, were you and Mom in a free-love relationship before?" Li Xia couldn't help but ask. 　　Before, her stomach felt like it had been scalpel-spun, and it really felt like a scalpel had been used. 　　The pain came in sharp, pulling pains every ten minutes or so, pulling at her intestines and making it hard to breathe loudly. However, 　　after Lao Li said that, Li Xia's attention was diverted, naturally reducing the pain by a bit. 　　"Don't ask anything, just let Dad take care of you... Dad will wet your lips again!" Lao Li didn't answer his 　　daughter's question. He sat very close to her, carefully examining Li Xia's face. Seeing her lips were pale from blood loss 　　, he quickly took out a cotton swab, moistened it with water, and wiped them clean. Then he gently lifted her blanket and used a hot towel to 　　clean her body before returning to sit beside her. 　　"Dad, it's the middle of the night, you need to rest..." Li Xia moved her wrist and grabbed her father's hand. 　　"What did I tell you? I told you not to talk. Don't you know talking hurts your temper? Close your eyes for me, or you 　　'll develop a habit of watery eyes." Old Li placed his hand on Li Xia's face, forcibly covering her eyes, 　　but couldn't stop his daughter's words. "Dad, don't cover my eyes! I won't look, okay? My head 　　isn't even resting on a pillow, it's uncomfortable!" 　　"If you say another word, I'll seal your mouth shut! Listen to me, don't make a fuss. Didn't the doctor say... "

"Don't lie on a pillow. If your neck gets damaged, you can't fix it." Old Li stroked Li Xia's forehead
, speaking harshly, but he was simply telling his daughter about postpartum precautions. Even though Li Xia was forty
years old, in Old Li's eyes she was still a child.
"Dad, can you wipe my back? It's sticky, numb, and itchy." After Li Xia said this, Old
Li didn't say anything more. He had already read all the relevant information before his daughter gave birth. Although he was cleaning her lower body, he
never touched her back, afraid of causing her any discomfort. He also knew that his daughter would have
a hard time after giving birth, and after the six hours of anesthesia, the pain pump would be useless.
"Dad'll get you some water to wipe yourself down." Old Li got up and took a basin and towel from under the bed.
As he walked out of the room, he thought to himself: He definitely couldn't shake the bed so his daughter's belly was sticking out, and he definitely couldn't turn her over.
He'd just hold her neck with his hands and wipe her down side by side, so she wouldn't feel
awkward and start talking to him while her body was wet.
Old Li had a plan. He filled the basin halfway with hot water, added some cold water to test the temperature, threw the towel
in the basin, and then quickly walked back to the ward.
Old Li didn't start immediately. Although he had already thought of a solution, he realized another problem.
Since his daughter's back was wet, shouldn't the pad under her be changed? Old Li gently
lifted the corner of the blanket to take a look. Besides a large bloodstain, there were also many yellowish sweat stains on the edges of the panty liner.
The panty liner itself was hot, and she couldn't move her body. No wonder her daughter felt uncomfortable!
"Wait a moment, Dad will wipe you down..." Reassuring Li Xia, Old Li took
a whole sanitary pad from under the bed and placed it within reach. He wrung out a hot towel, supported Li Xia's neck with his left hand, and
gently called out, "Hold on tight, follow Dad's hand." He then gently lifted his daughter's right side
, and the towel reached Li Xia's back. Ignoring the wrinkled skin from the pressure and soaking
, Old Li finished wiping her down, quickly stretched out the sanitary pad, pushed aside the old one, and spread the new pad under his daughter
. Only then did he support Li Xia's back so she could lie flat on the bed, gently withdrawing his left hand from under her neck
.
Old Li's movements were swift and efficient. He rinsed the towel with hot water again, then turned and ran
to his daughter's other side, wiping her other side clean in the same way, muttering as he did so, "Almost
there, almost there. Dad will stretch the pad over for you now." He grabbed a corner of the pad from the center of Li Xia's back, first
pulling out the used one, then slowly unfolding the new one until it was flat. He then jumped onto the bed
, stood on top of Li Xia, bent down to reach the exposed edges of the pad, and wrapped his arms around Li Xia
's waist, slowly rolling it up until the entire pad was replaced. Old Li's face and head were already soaked with sweat
.
"Dad, take a rest. I'm making you suffer while I'm giving birth..." Li Xia
called out softly with a smile on her face. She was willing but unable to do anything, and could only watch helplessly as her father busied himself. His carefulness was filled with
fatherly love and persistence. She never expected that her father would have thought of everything so thoroughly.
"Why are you talking again?" Old Li crumpled the used sanitary pad into a ball and threw it into the outside trash can. Seeing his daughter
talking again, Old Li's face hardened, and he scolded her. But this only brought a relaxed smile to his daughter's face. In that smile, she
said, "With Dad by my side, I feel so secure."
These words, which had touched countless people, were incredibly moving, instantly melting Old Li's heart. His feigned anger
vanished, and he called out, "Girl," leaning closer, his voice filled with tenderness and his face full of affection: "
If I don't love my daughter, who will?"
"Everyone has their own children, and everyone has their own way of loving them." Li Xia remembered a rural proverb she had heard as a child.
As she spoke, she closed her eyes, lowering her voice as she spoke again: "Dad,
you must agree to me talking to you with my eyes closed, right?" She smiled, alluring and seductive.
Li Xia's pretty face fell into Old Li's eyes, and then began to replay in his mind again and again, separating
and overlapping, connecting the fragmented forty years of life like a large net, gathering them together,
and finally bringing them to his attention.
"Girl~"
This call was answered, and a smile appeared on Old Li's face, relaxing and filled with tenderness
.
"Ah~"
Li Xia opened one eye and peeked out. Seeing her father staring at her, Li Xia smiled too
. She smiled happily, answered, and then quickly closed her eyes again.
The night sky was filled with stars, their brilliance shining brightly. Despite being separated by millions of miles, they all
heard Li Xia's brief call at that moment. Later, after much contemplation, they finally concluded that
the woman was expressing her feelings to her father, just like forty years ago on an autumn day when a cry startled
them from their sleep. Whose daughter was so restless? Then they saw the father's face beaming with joy as he held the
baby girl in his arms, repeatedly murmuring,
"My little girl~"

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