【The devil is born from the heart】(5) Follow the steps

Author: voxcaoz
First published: Yes
Published on sis001 on 2016/5/22
Word count: 5218 words
5
A new day, a new beginning. Live in the moment, live authentically.
After returning from the provincial capital, everything remained the same as before, unchanged by my reflections
. That night, Lao Li, Lao Tang, and I drank ourselves into oblivion, then went to a karaoke bar to
indulge until 1 a.m. We, these longtime partners in the Korean company
, finally staggered into our cars and headed home.
I often participate in this kind of life. Men, isn't this how you socialize when you're out? If you
don't socialize, it's like excluding others, making you seem unsociable. Even with good relationships, if something
happens, they won't help you, leaving you stranded. So maintaining connections is
an essential part of life.
In today's society, having a few truly good buddies is a real blessing.
To be honest, my classmate who works at the hospital is also a good friend of mine. After half a day, I managed to free
up some time and invited him out, along with two other friends. We headed straight
to a restaurant we'd booked in advance.
Being with my four buddies is a completely different experience than working with business partners at work. In a company,
there are too many vested interests involved, and everything revolves around money. But with my buddies, there's no need for backstabbing or
scheming. We've all grown up together, we know each other inside and out.
My friend who works at the hospital is named Zhang Qiang. He's currently an assistant surgeon. He has connections
, but he's definitely got some real skills; otherwise, just talking wouldn't get him in
surgery. He's been working at the county hospital for years. I figure if he stays a few more years,
he'll get promoted step by step. He's not lacking in clinical experience; the only thing he lacks is age.
Another guy, Li Hongyi, is self-employed now, selling branded shoes. He has plenty of time,
unlike Zhang Qiang, who often has to work night shifts.
The last guy, well, he's two years younger than me, nicknamed "Fourth Brother," an actor. One minute he's playing
a problem-solver, the next a lobbyist—basically, a gangster.
The four of us are basically representatives of the masses: state-owned enterprise employees, company employees, self-employed
vendors, and gangsters. We're mixed in with all sorts of people, living our lives, and being lived by our lives.
Zhang Qiang works at the hospital, and he deals mostly with patients, especially surgeons like him
—he naturally makes a lot of money. Besides, hospitals are one-off deals; there's
no haggling. Another point is that since he's a doctor, his department naturally needs nurses, especially
young and pretty girls. You could say that among the four of us, Zhang Qiang is the most likely to have a mistress
. Being close to the source, he can do whatever he wants.
Li Hongyi has been running his own business for many years and no longer needs to manage his stall. His family
has two chain stores in the county town. He spends his days drinking tea and playing cards, carefree and plump, the most leisurely
and carefree among us.
The fourth brother, despite his seemingly successful image, has earned it all with his life. I've
advised him countless times, but what can I do? Everyone has their own way of life. Telling him not to get involved in such activities
is pointless; he has absolutely no interest in doing anything else.
As for me, I'm the most conventional of the four. I work in the industrial park, with a few underlings
. It's relatively easy, but I'm still bound by company hours. Even though I manage a department now,
I can't just disappear and disappear all the time.
At the dinner table, we drank to our hearts' content, having already downed four bottles of Luzhou liquor. Once we started talking, spittle
flew from our mouths, a far cry from our usual pretentious demeanor.
Zhang Qiang told us that there were far too many people engaging in reckless and promiscuous behavior these days. He said that even at his hospital, doctors
and nurses had developed a tacit understanding, not to mention the people outside the hospital.
Then Hongyi shared his observations: he often gambled with wealthy women, some of whom were over forty, while their lovers were only in their early twenties. We all agreed that the 　　young man in his twenties
Hongyi was talking about was actually a gigolo. 　　Zhang Qiang added that at first he couldn't believe it, but then he kept hearing rumors from his colleagues 　　that kids these days were incredibly reckless, having sex at only fifteen or sixteen. After things went wrong, they 　　were afraid—on one hand, worried about the hygiene and safety of private clinics, and on the other hand, afraid of being discovered at the county hospital for an abortion 　　. Finally, having no other choice, they reluctantly opted for the county hospital. 　　The fourth brother, no longer shouting and threatening, had largely shifted to behind-the-scenes command. Hearing Zhang Qiang's 　　words, he tapped the table and said, "Hey, Brother Zhang, the nurses in the hospital are so young, 　　much cleaner than those in our establishment." 　　Zhang Qiang pointed at the fourth brother's nose, laughing and cursing, "You, you want me to pimp you again?" This 　　remark immediately drew laughter from the group. 　　The atmosphere was excellent, filled with banter and laughter. The brothers, sitting together, were naturally uninhibited, their minds 　　buzzing with excitement from the alcohol. 　　Then, Zhang Qiang got up, opened the door to the private room, and ordered four packs of Zhonghua cigarettes and 　　some beer from the waiter. After the waiter brought the cigarettes and alcohol, he closed the door and then said what chilled me to the bone 　　… 　　At the beginning of this year, a voluptuous and alluring young woman and a handsome young man came to the county hospital. 　　Zhang Qiang happened to be on duty that day. He told us that the woman was there for an abortion, which wasn't unusual 　　; besides, an abortion is a minor surgery, requiring rest and a short postpartum period. 　　Zhang Qiang told us that what struck him as odd as an observer was that the baby in the woman's womb seemed perfectly normal.

The fact that the abortion was still necessary, and that the boy had signed the consent form, only added to his confusion.
While the young woman was waiting in the maternity ward, Zhang Qiang approached the boy and asked, "
Where are your parents?" The boy stammered and couldn't answer. After some subtle probing and encouragement from Zhang Qiang,
they finally learned that the young woman was the boy's biological mother, and his father
had gone abroad after the Mid-Autumn Festival last August and hadn't returned for the New Year. Zhang Qiang paused, then told us not to think the story ended there
; the rest was even more exciting…
We held our breath, eagerly awaiting Zhang Qiang's explanation…
Don't assume the boy's mother got pregnant from an affair; the father of the child in her womb
was actually the son of this seemingly handsome young man.
Hearing this, Hongyi, Lao Si, and I stared wide-eyed, utterly incredulous that such a thing could
happen in our small county.
Seeing our stunned expressions, Zhang Qiang couldn't contain his excitement either. As he lit a cigarette, I noticed
his fingers trembled; clearly, while telling us, he was burning with passion, unable to suppress
the dark pleasure emanating from his heart.
I'd often seen things like this online before, and I'd thought it was
just sensationalism by websites or news media for clicks. But after Zhang Qiang spoke of it, my mind exploded.
Incest is forbidden, especially between blood relatives. It's closely linked to sex,
and sex is directly proportional to stimulation. Under moral constraints, once the taboo is crossed,
what happens next is beyond our imagination. As for the patterns of its occurrence and development, unless
the parties involved confess, no one knows the specifics. However, such shameful
things are hidden, and no one would publicize them.
We urged Zhang Qiang to continue, and he excitedly said, "Don't rush, don't rush, listen to me...
Don't blame this young son for having a relationship with his mother. To be honest, that young woman is quite
attractive, with a great figure. She even came to the hospital for an abortion in the dead of winter, wearing those ultra-thin stockings.
You can imagine, with such a seductive mother at home, which son could resist? It's no wonder he slept with her!"
I glanced at the other guys and saw that, like me, both Zhang Qiang, the storyteller,
and we, the listeners, were breathing heavily.
I threw away my cigarette butt, picked up another, lit it, and couldn't help but say, "
That's incest between mother and son!"
Speaking of sons having a mother complex, I think every older man has experienced it. From their teens until marriage
, this is a process every man must go through in his life. As the weaning period fades, boys gradually
shift their focus, breaking free from the mother complex, completing the first major transition in their lives.
I have firsthand experience with this. When I was fifteen or sixteen, I was also part of the Oedipus complex.
But even though I loved my mother, I didn't dare do anything about it. So I gradually
shifted my focus, looking at the young women in my hometown to release and vent my
Oedipus complex.
Whether it's an Oedipus complex or a romanticized view of one's mother, broadly speaking, it's a common Oedipus complex in adolescent boys.
As I grew older, I stopped being obsessed with my mother. After getting married and having children, I lived a normal life for several years
without any other thoughts or feelings.
But from Zhuang Li's delivery until the birth of my son, and then until her recovery, for more than six months
, I searched for and watched a lot of pornographic content online. I used this method to release the emptiness in my life
. Until recently, I had that dream again about my father and Zhuang Li having sex, and the darkness hidden deep within me
resurfaced, only this time from a different angle—no longer about mother and child.
After hearing Zhang Qiang's story, although it involved a mother and son and didn't quite align with my own thoughts
, these were all taboo topics, ultimately leading to incest.
Zhang Qiang downed his beer in one gulp, his face already flushed. He wiped his mouth and asked, "Mother-son incest
?" Then he chuckled.
In the heat of the moment, Lao Si slammed his fist on the table and shouted, "Damn, I've never had anything this exciting with all those hotties! Brother Zhang
, I need to find a place to let loose later."
At this point, Hong Yi and I exchanged a glance. He got up and handed Zhang Qiang a cigarette, while I
snatched Zhang Qiang's glass and filled it with beer—the meaning couldn't be clearer.
Zhang Qiang laughed heartily, seeing our anxious expressions, he continued, "These days, there are so
many novels like this online. At first, I didn't believe it either, really, but this happened to me, it really happened to me
, haha~"
I sensed something was off; Zhang Qiang was clearly implying something. I picked up my glass, tapped it on the table, and said,
"Cheers!" Then, I jokingly teased Zhang Qiang, "So, you slept with that young woman?"
Seeing my reaction, Hongyi and Lao Si chimed in, urging Zhang Qiang to admit it.
Zhang Qiang finally confessed that he had succeeded, revealing that he had also been involved with the young woman's son,
even engaging in a threesome.
Looking at Zhang Qiang's smug expression, it was clear he had tasted the sweetness of the woman and was enjoying all sorts of pleasures
.
"Seeing a boy and his mother commit incest with my own eyes was incredibly exciting! That night I fucked that young woman five
times!" Under the influence of alcohol, Zhang Qiang spoke without restraint, continuing his unbridled rant, "I was wondering
why society always reports about incest these days. Although I haven't been one myself, I've participated in other people
's incestuous relationships. It was awesome, haha~"
Having gone this far, I stopped pretending. Just as I was about to speak, Hong Yi
gave Zhang Qiang a thumbs-up and patted my shoulder, saying, "That's right! These days, if there
's incest between mother and son, there's definitely incest between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I think there's something like that in your hometown, brother."
With my blood surging, my genitals had already swelled and subsided several times, my underwear soaked
with the lubricant flowing from my glans. I nodded and said, "Old Li and his daughter-in-law have slept together, it's common
knowledge."
After I said that, Hongyi chimed in, "Damn, an old bull eating young grass, that kind of thing with a generational gap
is so exciting! Whether it's mother and son or father-in-law and daughter-in-law, the women they fuck are all mature women. You think about it, women
in their thirties are like wolves, in their forties like tigers, their bodies are incredibly empty, so it's like a sure thing, maybe
after they've tasted the sweetness, they'll even beg men to fuck them. Of course, you can't put all the blame
on men, right? Who told them to dress so scantily, so revealingly, so provocatively!"
Hongyi's words seemed to give me another shot of adrenaline, giving me renewed courage. Savoring the nuances of his words,
I never imagined my best friend would share my sentiments, so deeply interested in this taboo subject of incest.
Then I slammed my hand on the table and shouted, "A young man and a young girl, a boy with a mature woman, an old man with his daughter-in-law, haha~ They're utterly
lawless and outrageous!"
I had thought this was just a dark side of myself, but at that moment, hearing my buddy speak
from the heart, all my negative thoughts vanished, completely replaced by a sense of normalcy and reason.
Inspired by my wife's love and grateful for my parents' kindness, I became even clearer about the path I wanted to take. I knew
the road ahead would be long and fraught with setbacks, but this news strengthened my resolve. It was all for
Zhuang Li and my father's sake; we had no regrets, only for our family's happiness. What else did I care about?
The atmosphere was electric. Beer was downed and refilled repeatedly. Zhang Qiang said to me, "It's just that we're ignorant.
Think about it, it's all the same. It's all the same thing, right? One cock, one cunt, isn't it?
Brother Du, I know you love your wife too much and have never looked for other women. If you like, I
can introduce you. There are plenty of girls in our hospital."
After drinking so much, a mix of baijiu and beer, my stomach was churning. At this point,
I didn't care how much I drank. I didn't respond to Zhang Qiang's later words. Slamming my hand on the table, I echoed his earlier statement
, "Right, it's all the same, who's fucking who's fucking who?"
At that moment, thinking of my father lifting my wife's alluring thighs, my penis was already swollen and hard. Hehe~ it
really stimulated me, instantly relieving my fatigue, and that feeling of muscle weakness disappeared.
That afternoon, we drank ourselves into a stupor. After leaving the restaurant, we found a foot massage parlor
. Some of us got cupping, some got massages, and some even had sex, until late at night before we finally left.
Looking back on that day, I was filled with mixed emotions. It turns out I wasn't alone;
I was surrounded by so many people. But how to move forward, I don't know. For now, I
can only figure it out step by step.
Life is, in fact, a tapestry of joys and sorrows born from countless trivial matters. I often wonder,
what is the purpose of life? From birth to growth, gradually maturing, starting a family, experiencing countless ups and downs
, and finally entering old age, what is it that we ultimately pursue?
I've come to a conclusion: we pursue happiness, we pursue joy. Regardless of wealth or poverty,
as long as we satisfy our desires, all problems will be solved.
And my current physical condition dictates that I am unhappy, not joyful. My own condition has directly
dragged my wife, Zhuang Li, into this mess. If this continues, our marriage will definitely be affected, and it might even crack
. If we have any conflicts or friction, our
parents will be the most worried, and our children will likely be the most unfortunate and affected.
Life is so long, and I'm only 31. I don't want to see Zhuang Li putting on a brave face while
secretly sighing, and I don't want my family to break apart because of me . My
parents, who are already in their twilight years, would be heartbroken.
To change this situation, to escape this awkward predicament, I have no choice but to take a different approach and secretly carry out my
plan. I need to save face, preventing outsiders from interfering in our married life and destroying my family
, while also proceeding discreetly. Only when my health recovers will everything be fine
.

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