Unfair

Just then, there was a knock at the door. I opened it, and B walked in with a slightly overweight man around 40 years old. B introduced him, saying,
"This is Mr. La, the manager of this hotel."
I smiled slightly, extended my hand in a friendly manner, and said,
"Hello, nice to meet you."
Then B said to Mr. La,
"This is Miss Fenfen, the most beautiful girl in our school."
"Welcome, welcome! Our hotel is lacking someone as beautiful and elegant as you," Mr. La said, looking me up and down and squinting his eyes.
I smiled slightly again and said,
"Thank you for the compliment."
Mr. La turned to me and said,
"At 5:30, come to Zuixian Pavilion. It's my treat. I have a friend from the business world and a friend from the political world there too. We'll have dinner together."
"If you need anything, just ask the lady at the front desk."
Then he left the room.
B closed the door, took off all his clothes, and took a shower.
5:30 arrived in the blink of an eye, and he led me into Zuixian Pavilion.
In the spacious room, two men were already seated. One was a lean man in his forties; the other, around thirty-five or thirty-six, wore glasses and appeared very refined. After introductions, one was identified as the chairman of the only listed company in the county, surnamed Tan; the other as the deputy county head in charge of the economy, surnamed Hun. While we were talking to these two, the manager, surnamed La, entered with his beautiful head waitress from the catering department. Soon after, the waiters brought out dishes—dishes I had never eaten before, dishes I had never even seen. This meal left me speechless, ecstatic, and deeply saddened.
Speechless, astonished by their extravagance; ecstatic, knowing I could enjoy such a life often; deeply saddened, realizing this meal could support my parents for a year. I couldn't help but sigh deeply, wondering why life was so unfair.
After the two-hour meal, Manager La led us to a small, quaint karaoke room. There were only six of us, plus four men and women from his circle.
Since the young deputy county head didn't like singing, we just danced. Most of the music was a slow, dark waltz. I danced with the deputy county head, while B danced with the greedy chairman.
The music was so soothing, the lighting so dim, and everyone so excited under the influence of alcohol. I felt like a pheasant in heat, my face flushed, my eyes glazed, my blood surging with excitement. When the deputy county head's hands tightly embraced my slender, incredibly soft waist, my heart trembled; when his shameless hands touched my breasts, my whole body shook, as if I couldn't support myself. The deputy county head hugged me even tighter, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked at me with his experienced eyes and said,
"Is this your first time here?"
I nodded, realizing that a pleasurable desire flowed through our minds. Then the music stopped, and we sat down. I felt incredibly warm and moist down there, with a slight throbbing in my lower abdomen. The dance continued, and we, this group, shamelessly did everything that men and women in the shadows should do. In the darkness, I seemed to see Fenfen again, but she was no longer beautiful; she was a pitiful little wounded creature with torn wings, unable to fly freely anymore.
The music stopped, and our dance ended. Everything returned to calm, and we walked out of the small dance hall together. Although my previously restless heart had calmed down, things were far from over. The greedy chairman and the muddle-headed deputy county head each took me to their Audi and Hongqi sedans, respectively, and sped out of the hotel. I sat reservedly next to the corrupt deputy county head, watching the buildings rushing past the car window and the scattered lights, without saying a word, while the man beside me chatted idly about all sorts of things. I fell into an emptiness, not knowing what I was doing.
The Audi turned a corner and entered a villa area, filled with three-story villas, each with a carport—absolutely unique and high-end. The four of us got out of the car and entered a light yellow building. It was huge, filled with everything imaginable—a luxurious home I'd never seen before. But no one was there. It was nearly 10 PM. In the living room, we each drank a small glass of French red wine. Chairman Tan turned on the television; it was showing "American Beauty," and the intimate scenes were undeniably arousing, especially after the wine—I felt a surge of heat coursing through my body.
At that moment, Chairman Tan said to B, "Let's go upstairs first. Let them talk here. I have something to tell you." B glanced at me with a strange expression. I nodded; I knew what to do.
Watching B walk upstairs, a nameless panic gripped me. After all, this was my first time with such a strange man, and he was so experienced, so much older—he looked at least 15 years older than me, while I was still a girl not even 21 yet. His deep, slightly lecherous gaze frightened me. Because, up to this point, although my thoughts are shameless and ugly, and my behavior is somewhat licentious and shameful, one thing is certain: my body is still clean, I am still a pure virgin. Although I played sexual games when I was young, and although my ex-boyfriends touched my most mysterious and hidden parts, I can guarantee that I am absolutely a virgin. You know, there aren't many virgins left at my age these days. I don't know how to face this situation, having given up my most precious thing for money. I feel sad and ashamed. But I have to do it; I have no way out. I can't escape that infinitely expanding desire, that yearning body, that current situation. I can only become a roast chicken on the chopping block, at the mercy of others. I have no choice but to go with the flow.
Time ticked by, and I chatted idly with the man. He stared at me with burning eyes, especially at my high, firm breasts—those exceptionally well-developed breasts that my boyfriend had caressed many times and that I had masturbated in moments of desire, breasts I had once been proud of. I returned his gaze with a somewhat lewd look, though I felt utterly disgusted with him.
Then he said to me, "What are those two doing? Let's go up and see."
"Okay," I replied softly. Deep down, I already knew what was going to happen.
I followed him closely, and he reached out and took my hand. I didn't resist; I knew my purpose, so I had no reason to resist. Upstairs was quiet; every room was closed. As we entered the innermost room, I heard a woman's moans and a man's heavy breathing. The sounds were so distant, as if they had come from over a decade ago. I tried to recall when I had heard those sounds before, more than once. I strained my breath. Finally, I found it deep in my memory. It was when I was very young, whenever I would wake up groggily in the middle of the night, I would hear my father and mother making those sounds. Back then, I was too young to understand, and I even asked my parents, "Why are you making those sounds when you're sleeping?" My father would slap me and say, "Go to sleep, or I'll make you sleep in the next room by yourself." My mother would stop her moaning, pat me gently, and say, "Little baby, go to sleep. Mommy will buy you something delicious tomorrow." And so I would obediently fall asleep.
But when I heard that sound again, right there inside that door, I lost all control of my reason. I felt a warm current slowly flowing out from below, and my body went completely limp. At that moment, the person beside me quickly pulled me close and led me to a room on the third floor. It was warm and cozy, the air conditioner constantly blowing hot air, the luxurious furnishings and vibrant colors creating a fiery atmosphere. He gently closed the door, and I settled on the bed. I obediently sat down. I heard a soft voice say,
"It's warm in here, take off your coat."
I took off my coat and placed it on the chair next to me. He also took off his suit jacket and tie. He looked at me with those piercing eyes, as if he wanted to devour me whole. Because at that moment, I was indeed a lovely and beautiful Fenfen, absolutely captivating to any man. A flushed face, hazy eyes, a figure whose curves were laid bare beneath a fiery red bodysuit, and a slightly lewd smile.
He dimmed the light considerably, leaving only a faint glow. Then he walked in front of me and embraced me.
I closed my eyes. Firstly, I didn't want to see that lewd and unfamiliar face, because deep down I repelled him; secondly, it was an instinctive reaction of a young woman being touched by a man, and I was no exception. I felt a dampness on my forehead—his kiss—following my eyes and my lips. I felt something sticky wriggling in my mouth, entangling my tongue, and I responded. Although I didn't particularly like this feeling, I didn't refuse. Because I knew that at this moment I was a prostitute, a prostitute serving the man before me, and I should use all my seductive and flirtatious skills.
While he was using his mouth, his hands weren't idle either. He slipped his hands, the same hands that scrutinized various documents, inside my underwear—the underwear of a shameless 21-year-old college sophomore, yearning for money. He was indeed a corrupt county magistrate, a thoroughly corrupt one, as shameless as I was, perhaps even more so. I had fallen into depravity due to ignorance and poverty; while he was a mature man, a local official serving the people, a public servant wielding considerable power granted by the state. Don't you think he's more shameless than I? Why do you accuse me so sternly? I admit my shamelessness, but do they?
The feeling was gentle, beautiful, purely gentle, purely beautiful—a magical temptation irresistible to all young women. Could I resist? Resist this terrible intimacy of flesh, resist this intoxicating, boundless lust? Something within my spirit tried to resist, but thinking of the alluring future, the endless desire, the exquisite feeling, I couldn't help but let my spirit sway.
Suddenly, he removed my bodysuit. My upper body was suddenly completely exposed, with only my strapless bra leaving me with a sliver of dignity. I shyly burrowed under the covers, though I was still wearing trousers.
With lightning speed, he removed all his clothes, leaving only his underwear, and also slipped under the covers.
Inside, I could only let him touch me as he pleased. Slowly, he removed everything from my body, and I simply kept my eyes tightly closed, letting him do as he pleased. His hands, filled with tender desire, caressed my body incessantly, from top to bottom; his warm, slightly sensual lips licked my skin, reaching my most vibrant and beautiful parts, already wet and surging. He was excited, aroused, and swollen by all of this, and I trembled, convulsed, and melted at his dizzyingly gentle caresses and licks. I realized my flower was now fully open, and he felt it too.
He entered me, and although it was absolutely gentle and wonderful, I still felt a little pain, a tearing sensation. Because I was, after all, a virgin, this was bound to happen, so I wasn't afraid at all. He seemed to sense this, so he became even gentler and more attentive. I was so grateful to him; at least he was a perfectly qualified client, though certainly not a qualified official.
As he moved, he used his hands to arouse my desire. How could a young girl, full of lust and yearning for the comfort of the opposite sex, withstand the manipulation of a mature man with such sexual experience? I was completely intoxicated; my heart melted in an incomparably wonderful emotion. I was trapped in a bottomless void, unsure if I even existed. I felt like I was flying low, but I couldn't rise higher; the higher I flew, the heavier I felt. Finally, I crashed to the ground, transforming into a dying, no longer beautiful Fenfen. Suddenly, even Fenfen ceased to exist, leaving only a pool of thick blood. Then a pretty, seductive pheasant appeared, lowering its seemingly noble head and pecking at the blood. At that moment, I felt like vomiting.
As the climax arrived, everything calmed down. Exhausted, we lay together. I felt a sharp pain down there; I touched it and found it covered in blood. I was a little scared. He noticed this, and he was so touched. He said he would definitely make it up to me. He took an envelope from his briefcase, pulled out a wad of cash, and put it in my coat pocket, saying I could contact him if I needed anything. Seeing this, my eyes welled up with tears, for what I had done, for my future.
Then we heard shouts from downstairs; they were done. We went downstairs together. They were already sitting on the sofa, drinking hot milk and watching TV. Seeing us come down, they smiled knowingly. I smiled back, but it was definitely an awkward smile. The clock in the living room was already pointing to 1 a.m.
The chairman said greedily, "Let me see you out." We followed him into his Audi, and he drove us all the way back to the hotel.
From then on, I embarked on a path of prostitution, and there was no turning back. The beautiful Fenfen became a real prostitute.
You probably think I shouldn't have done this, but I've already done it, and there's no going back. So I'm a cursed, truly wicked woman. Curse me all you want; maybe that will make me feel better.
I pray for God's forgiveness, for my family's forgiveness, and for the forgiveness of all my friends who have loved me.
But I don't regret it, at least not now. Maybe years later, I will.

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