Expose your life without explanation

A person's life and destiny are in their own hands and controlled. But what about me? I'm directing a tragic and humiliating life for myself. After a turning point, I've forgotten all my past ideals and realities. Many people say, "Express your true self; it will make your life more authentic." But can I express my true self? I've done everything that needed to be done secretly, and I've concealed everything that needed to be faked. Why is there such a disproportion between the real pain of the past and the fake excitement I'm experiencing now? I admit that everyone has a dark side, everyone has secrets they don't want to tell, just like why disgusting fertilizer is used to nourish beautiful flowers. If your secrets are revealed, all your past glory will vanish. That's truly cruel.
I don't know if my secret of wanting to expose myself will one day be made public. That's what I fear. I also know that I can't change my tendency to expose myself completely, like a long-time addict who, even after quitting, still feels the urge to try drugs. The person I was then and the person I am now are like completely different people. I almost didn't recognize myself anymore, which is so heartbreaking! I want to get closer to them, but I don't even know where they are. I know that if I continue like this, we'll only drift further and further apart, until I can't even find myself anymore.
In the dorm, I've tried going out naked many times, of course, only when there's no potential danger. I wouldn't dare do anything shocking at school; it could affect my entire life. I remember one time, the dorm phone rang. It was for Jiaming, probably her boyfriend. Unfortunately, Jiaming had just gone to the next dorm. Of course, I'm still completely naked now, and without thinking, I went to the next dorm to call Jiaming. I remember there were at least five people in their dorm at the time, but I didn't even have time to see them clearly. When they opened the door, I casually told Jiaming that her boyfriend had called looking for her. When they saw me, completely naked, with my breasts prominently displayed, they were stunned. Before they could react, I went back to my dorm. Only then did I realize I had gone out naked, and I screamed in fright. Jiaming even scolded me, asking if I was crazy for coming to call her like that. But now, thinking about it carefully, that was just the tip of the iceberg, a small part of the bigger picture.
At school, there are few suitable opportunities or ideal places to expose oneself, which is exactly what troubles me. There are many things to consider at school, and I don't want to gamble my future for my own desires; that would be a huge loss. So, when I'm bored on weekends, I often go out wearing very revealing and conspicuous clothes. Many friends often say, "What's wrong with me lately? I'm different from before. Why are you wearing such revealing clothes? This is so different from your usual quiet self!" They have no idea what secrets I'm hiding, hehe! Let them guess!
This time, the five of us went to a swimming pool. Of my five roommates, only Jiaming wasn't there; she must have gone off to have some fun with her boyfriend. There's also Panpan, a tomboy from another dorm, who's incredibly outgoing. Listen to her story! She has so many boyfriends that if they held hands, they could cross the entire map of China—I don't know if she's exaggerating. But she's incredibly lucky. Last time she came to this swimming pool, she participated in a game and won five free tickets! Hehe! She gets along really well with Min and Jiaming, which is a good thing for Lili and me; we can also benefit from their good fortune.
This is a seaside swimming pool with endless blue water. Of course, a beach on a weekend is never short of people. There were so many men and women that they could practically form an army. We set up the makeshift tent we rented at the venue, changed into our pre-prepared swimsuits, and then, grabbing our swimming rings, headed out. Of course, I have to mention what kind of swimsuit I was wearing! Just like everyone expected, it was an incredibly revealing and sexy bikini. The bra was the kind that showed off a deep cleavage, pure white, and the bottoms were tiny swim trunks that almost reached into my buttocks, with a little bit of a skirt around the bottoms. But the skirt was very short, barely covering half of my buttocks, just for decoration, also pure white. Overall, it wasn't too flashy, which is normal in today's open society! Such sexy swimsuits are nothing new! However, this swimsuit was very thin. I don't usually even wear a bra, and of course, I certainly wouldn't use nipple covers. Now, my nipples were clearly visible through the white bra. I deliberately chose a white swimsuit so that the shape of my nipples would be more clearly seen. There were so
many people today, probably because it's the weekend. Everywhere I looked, there was a vibrant spring scene, with handsome men and beautiful women in groups, and of course, some less attractive ones too! But in this kind of setting, it didn't matter at all! As for guys, I don't really like the muscular type. Although they look masculine, it always gives me a weird feeling. In contrast, I much prefer the clean-cut, fair-skinned type, or even those with slightly darker skin. And I especially love guys with a little bit of stubble; I always feel that men look more manly with a bit of stubble!
The whole way, Panpan and Min had their eyes shining the whole time; you could tell they were hopelessly infatuated. It almost made me afraid to stay with them! Sigh! Society is so cruel; infatuation is rampant!
We went to a rather crowded place, all Min's idea. She said she wanted to see some handsome guys properly; she hadn't seen them this close in ages, and she was determined to see as many as she could today. When I heard that, I almost fainted. To be that infatuated is truly unparalleled.
We came to a shallow area. None of us are good swimmers. There were a large group of men and women around us. Although I was dressed rather sexily, I wasn't likely to become a target of onlookers. Many of the girls there were also dressed sexily; girls are naturally vain, and who doesn't want to show off their figure? Who doesn't want to be the center of attention?
Before I got in the water, I didn't realize the magic of this swimsuit; it only had two small dots on it. But after I got in, I discovered that the soaking wet swimsuit clung tightly to my body. Although the material wasn't very transparent, it was very thin! After getting wet, the shapes of my two little nipples were clearly visible—so eye-catching! I didn't notice it before it got wet, but I didn't expect it to look like this after getting wet! Ugh! It's so embarrassing, especially in a crowded place! Luckily, it's a swimming area, so it's somewhat acceptable. But, with the little bikini clinging to my body after getting wet, it's so conspicuous. My nipples look like two flags! What am I going to do? How utterly shameful!
After discovering the secret, I hid in the water, too afraid to come out, on the verge of tears, terrified, feeling like everyone around me was staring at me. Then! That jerk Min suddenly pulled me out of the water and yanked me towards the shore without my consent, saying, "See that little-eyed boy? The one sitting on the sun lounger? He just gave me a lot of flirting!" My eyes were bloodshot as I glared at Min; I was completely defeated by her. To my surprise, the little-eyed boy actually walked over, facing us directly. It seemed he really had given Min a lot of flirting. I subconsciously glanced at my chest—oh my god! Seeing him approach, combined with the exhilarating exposure I'd just experienced in the water, my nipples were hard. Through my thin white bikini, anyone could see my erect nipples.
Now, it's quite obvious that my nipples are sticking out of my clothes; you can even tell their size. I'm holding a swimming ring, and if I deliberately try to cover it up, what will happen to the ring? Covering it up would look so awkward. But with so many people there, so many eyes watching, it's so embarrassing! I was so anxious I almost cried. Unexpectedly, the small-eyed guy who had walked up to us spoke, saying my figure was too alluring, too sexy! Really? Is that really true? Doesn't he see how revealing my swimsuit is? His compliment calmed me down considerably. He's right! Anyway, I didn't expose myself in public. Although you can vaguely see the color of my nipples, nobody here knows me. Who cares! The small-eyed guy said it's sexy, right? Why worry so much?
"Oh my! I can see your nipples!" Min suddenly yelled at the worst possible time, as if afraid no one would hear. Her neurotic outburst made me want to disappear into the ground. I instinctively looked down at my chest again—oh my god! I was so embarrassed! Now even strangers knew what I looked like, that damn Min.
"Let's go get something to drink!" Thankfully, Xiao Yan said at just the right moment, but as I squinted at him, his eyes kept darting over my chest. Looks like he's a pervert too. On the way back, I gave Min a good scolding. Why did she make such a fuss? But instead of reflecting on her actions, she continued to humiliate me, sneakily attacking my nipples when I wasn't looking, flicking them here and there, making me feel incredibly ashamed and angry. Strangely, I wasn't disgusted at all. While pretending to dodge Min's attacks, I glanced at the surrounding crowd and noticed that many people were involuntarily looking in our direction. With Min occasionally letting out wild shouts, and the glimpses of my exposed chest, how could we not attract attention?
I lowered my head, enjoying the stares. To be honest, I'm a strange person; once I've achieved the shameful excitement of exposure that I crave, everything else seems unimportant. As I moved through the crowd, the initial embarrassment seemed to fade, and all I could think about was taking off my clothes and letting everyone see everything. I was horrified by this thought, but how could I control my inner excitement! My rapid breathing betrayed me completely. Now, I felt a burning sensation all over my body, my body becoming increasingly sensitive. Waves of pleasure from exposure flashed through my mind.
The three of us went to another beach, where there were some shops selling snacks and drinks. Panpan and the other two were still playing in the water. I grabbed a drink and then listened, disgustedly, to the infatuated Min and that small-eyed boy flaunting their sex appeal. I didn't hear a word they were saying. At the shop, I bought a pair of rather large sunglasses. Of course, why did I buy sunglasses? There was a reason! With them on, no one could see where my eyes were wandering, so I could openly look at the people passing by without feeling awkward. After a while, Min told me she had to leave for a bit and asked me to wait for her. I nodded, and then she and that small-eyed boy left. Who knows what they went to do!
Actually, all I wanted was for them to leave quickly. I couldn't stand their sweet whispers in my ear anymore. That way, after they left, I could more easily lie on the soft lounge chair under the parasol, enjoying the intense stares from those around me. I could put on sunglasses and watch the men passing by, mesmerized by my figure. The feeling was so intense. I was pretending to be asleep, and I really wanted to touch my hot face and sensitive body, but I couldn't move. People passing by assumed I was asleep, which is why they stared at me so openly. If they found out I was awake, even the boldest person would look away. I didn't want that feeling. I wanted those naked gazes, those undisguised stares at my body.
On the soft chair, my body grew increasingly restless. If time suddenly stopped, I could clearly hear my breathing and heartbeat. Waves of electricity surged through my body from the surrounding gazes. My tingling, sensitive body was beyond my control; the slightest touch felt like an explosion. I closed my eyes, imagining myself lying here naked, surrounded by a constant stream of people. I spread my legs, my thick pubic hair and wet vulva completely exposed to the passersby. From their lecherous eyes, a sweet sensation welled up from my vagina. Now, the slightest touch on any part of my body would bring me to orgasm.
"Wake up! What are you doing? Your face is flushed. Did you get sunburned? Impossible, there's a parasol!" I don't know how long I've been lying here. I think I've fallen asleep, or maybe not, or maybe I've had a wonderful dream. Oh right, I just dreamt about… Waaah! How embarrassing! I can't bear to think about it anymore. I opened my eyes and saw Min and Panpan calling me. They wanted me to go to a nearby island for a while. I rubbed my eyes and looked into the distance. There really was a small island. Having just woken up, without thinking, I immediately stood up and followed them.
But, not far along, something strange happened. Suddenly, a lot of eyes were on me, and many people looked surprised. Min and Panpan, who were walking in front of me, suddenly started laughing incessantly, as if they had played a really funny prank. I ran up to them, not knowing what they were laughing at, and stupidly laughed along with them. When I accidentally looked down at my chest while laughing, I was stunned. I screamed, "Oh my god! Where did my bikini bra go?!" Now, I was shirtless, my two snow-white breasts completely exposed to the crowd. No wonder so many eyes were on me after I'd only taken a few steps, and many of them were girls! Waaah, what happened?
Ah, I realize now, it must have been Min and her friends! And my guess was right. Apparently, while I was lying there, Min called Panpan and the others over after her date. She planned to take me to the island, but when they arrived, they probably sensed from my expression that I was having some kind of indecent dream! So, while I was turning over, Min secretly untied my bra strap and quietly took it off. I was completely oblivious, lost in my dream. That awful Min even told Panpan and the others to be quiet and not tell me my bra was gone, then she woke me up to see if I'd notice. Waaah! That prank was so cruel!
After I found out what happened, I ran frantically to the spot where I'd had my orgasm, but there was no bra there! I couldn't find it anyway. When I saw Min swaying back and forth in the distance with a bra on, I realized I'd been tricked again. I hated her! Why didn't she give it back? And now I'd run so far shirtless! Who knows how many people saw my body now? When I got to Min, she was still laughing hysterically as she handed me the bra, saying, "Here you go!" Then she continued laughing with a smirk.
Do you know what I did then? I glared angrily at the gloating Min, probably furious. I took the bikini and, without thinking, threw it into the sea.
But as soon as the bikini flew from my hand towards the shore, I immediately regretted it. If I couldn't find it, what would I wear later? I was so glad I was wearing swim trunks with a skirt; otherwise, that awful Min might have stripped me naked down there too! Ugh! Just thinking about it terrifies me. The others stared at me blankly, probably not understanding my actions. Maybe it's because I was genuinely angry. They didn't even consider that anyone would be angry if something like that happened to them!
To be honest, I had mixed feelings when I threw away my bra; I was probably really angry! But right now, I really want to just leave my breasts exposed, naked, and enjoy all the stares on this beach. It's so frustrating; how can I be thinking about such shameful things right now? Then,
Xiaomei, who had just gone out to look for it, came running back breathlessly and told me, "I can't find my clothes. Someone probably hid them on purpose."
I looked at where I had thrown it, and sure enough, two people were swimming away. I could even see something white on one of their feet! It must have gotten caught on his foot, and he didn't realize he was taking away my last bit of modesty. Now, there's no time for me to regret or reflect; I really have nothing to wear. Min pretended to be pitiful and hugged me, repeatedly apologizing! Who knows if she was secretly laughing or genuinely apologizing?
Now, my feelings were incredibly complex. The gazes coming from all directions made me unbearably hot and bothered. At that moment, all I could think about and feel was the excitement of being watched. I knew I couldn't stay here any longer; I needed to get back to my tent quickly to find some clothes, otherwise, I might be taken away by the staff on duty. And the tent I was in was quite a distance from where I was supposed to change. Without thinking, I dropped my swimming ring and ran towards the tent as fast as I could. All the way, I could feel my large breasts bouncing up and
down, and of course, everyone there saw it clearly. When I ran so fast, I almost tripped and fell. All eyes turned to me; now I was truly the center of attention at the entire swimming area.
I don't know how I got to the tent. That moment of running naked had made my body incredibly sensitive. Inside the tent, I took off my swimming underwear and could clearly feel that it was wet. I swear, it wasn't seawater. I lay naked, rubbing my burning face with my hands, recalling what had just happened. A wave of heat washed over me again. Min was probably feeling incredibly guilty right now, but should I really blame her? Maybe she really went too far, but it was precisely that far-fetched thing that gave me an excitement and pleasure I'd never experienced before.
The End
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Expose your life without explanation

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