A secret hidden deep in my heart

A few years ago, one day in October, I forget how it started, I wasn't married yet. I said I'd help a colleague with a laptop problem, so after work, I went back to my dorm, washed up early, and then hitched a ride with my colleague to her house. Let's call this colleague Eileen. Eileen... was a woman five years older than me. She got married around the age of 19, but due to problems with her mother-in-law, she divorced shortly after her second child was born. Of course, she still took good care of her two children and was always accommodating (but that's another story). After the divorce, she moved back to her parents' house with her mother and older brother. Her parents' house was a four-story detached house, and her and her mother's room was on the third floor. Her older brother lived in a suite on the second floor, and her second older brother lived in a small room on the fourth floor. Her second older brother usually worked in another city and didn't come home, so the whole building was just her, her mother, and her older brother. Her older brother worked the night shift, so she rarely saw him. I still remember that day, the first time I went to Eileen's house, the first time I stepped into Eileen's room. There was a faint fragrance in the room, which I initially mistook for perfume. Later I discovered that Eileen liked the scent of green tea; even her shampoo and shower gel were green tea scented. There was a simple double bed, a large wardrobe, and a flat-screen TV on a small cabinet. The overall feeling wasn't exactly clean, but it was tidy enough. Since I was in her house, I naturally had to get down to business. She took out her Acer laptop and said she would give it to me while she went to take a shower. I took a shower. To be honest, I don't remember what the problem was, because I got off work around 7 PM and didn't get to her place until almost 9 PM. I messed around with her computer and even helped her re-flush her hard drive, which took until after 10 PM. After her shower, her hair was still wet, and she was wearing a gray tank top and black shorts. While I was working on the computer, she lay on the bed watching TV, and of course, we chatted a bit, about work and the popular talk show "Kangxi Lai Le" that was on at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that she was still wearing a bra under her tank top, and I casually started chatting with her.

Me: "Aren't you going to sleep?" Eileen: "Yes, of course I am! Are you done?" Me: "You're going to sleep? Why are you still wearing your bra? Didn't you see the news? Sleeping in your bra can compress your nerves and is bad for your health." (Actually, I didn't really think that much at the time; I just felt it was bad for my health.) Eileen: "No way. I'd rather wear something for safety."

Because Eileen was in a car accident when she was young, she has to take painkillers and even sedatives and sleeping pills every day since that incident. I asked her about it later, and I also looked into it. The doctor prescribed "Styrus" for her to take. I remember that day, when I was working on the computer, I asked her if I could sleep here tonight, otherwise I was afraid that if I stayed up too late, she would have to drive me back to the dorm, which would be too tiring. Eileen said, "Okay. How about you sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the floor?" I said, "How can I let a girl sleep on the floor?" Eileen said, "You helped me with the computer, I feel bad letting you sleep on the floor." I said, "How about you share half of your bed with me, I'll sleep on the other side, don't worry I won't do anything." Eileen said, "Uh~ you said that! Okay then!"

I thought to myself, thank goodness~ I don't have to sleep on the floor, and I can sleep with a beautiful girl! After we finished, it was getting late, so we lay on the bed watching TV and chatting. I eventually convinced her to take off her bra to sleep, saying it's better for her health. Later… I don't remember, but I think she did take it off! But that night… I still obediently went to sleep! Because she was taking medication, she was drowsy, but I didn't take advantage of her. I also fell asleep in a half-awake state.

It must have been around dawn! She tossed and turned, looking like she couldn't sleep well while hugging the blanket. Instinctively, I lay down next to her, took her hand, and said, "Can I hug you?" The weather was chilly, and letting her hug me warmed me up. She hugged me back, and I liked being hugged like that. Being hugged by her gave me a feeling of caring for someone. I could let her lean on me, and her body heat and shape against mine felt so comfortable. I thought… since she didn't refuse, I made a bold suggestion, taking her hand and letting it roam over my body, stroking from my chest down to my abdomen. This interaction made my adrenaline surge. She didn't mind being touched like that, and after a few times, we… "Can we go a little further?" I asked. I pulled down my pants, and her hand slipped inside. I hugged her, letting her caress me freely, gently holding my hand… Then she started kissing me, from my neck, chest, and abdomen. Unsurprisingly, she gently pulled my pants down later. This was the first time I'd ever been bitten. During this time, I also enjoyed her alluring body, with her D-cup teardrop breasts. Despite having two children, her figure remained like a young girl's. At the most crucial moment, we both stopped. She moved to my chest, hugging me like she had at the beginning, and said, "Sleep! You have to go to work tomorrow." And I… just hugged her, gently stroking her back, saying nothing, and then I fell asleep too! This is the beginning of our relationship…

Chapter Two: Overnight Relationship

The phone rang, and morning sunlight streamed into the room. Eileen was already sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on makeup and getting ready for work, while I was still lying in bed, enjoying the lingering warmth. I said good morning to her, then got up and hugged her from behind. She didn't resist. I knew our relationship was more than just colleagues. I told her last night was wonderful, that it was my first time, and I would never forget it. I lay in bed, pulled down my pants, and gestured to her with my eyes. She gently kissed my penis, patted my thigh, and said, "Get up, time for work, don't be late." After parking at the company, she said, "I'll get out first!" She would stay in the car for a while before going into the office. I understood what she meant; after all, there was a lot of gossip in the company, and it wasn't good to be seen together all the time, especially since she had been with the company longer than me. She was the executive assistant in our department, so we had some contact, including with me when I was still an engineer. We would confirm experiments, test results, and so on. What happened that night made our contact even more frequent. Every day after work, either I would leave first or she would leave first. After I went back to my dormitory to wash up, I would ride my bike back to the company to park it, and then hitch a ride with her to her house. If I needed to work overtime, she would leave first to go back and freshen up, and then after I finished work, she would pick me up and take me back to my dormitory to wash up, waiting for me nearby before we went to her house. And so… we were together for several years.

Chapter 3: The Road to Career

Since this relationship began, there's been an unspoken understanding between us: everyone just thinks we're good friends. I've even told other colleagues that I'm practically her best friend! Because we've spent so much time together, we've talked about a lot of things. We've talked about why she became a mother so early, why she divorced her ex-husband, and even that before me, she was in a relationship with a friend from a different company—who was the other woman. I understand her situation. She's a very considerate person; she doesn't leave any evidence. I don't pry into her past relationships. I just tell her that no matter what, I'll support her, and I don't care what decisions she makes. But whatever she decides or chooses, remember to always put yourself first. My feelings for her are genuinely out of concern, but… there's also a selfish motive—I want to maintain a special… Our relationship was special, more than just colleagues and friends. Because of this, I was promoted from engineer to team leader and then to section chief at the company, and she... I also took the opportunity to help her go from assistant to assistant engineer, and finally to engineer, simply because I told her that assistants can only rely on overtime their whole lives, while after promotion, there are more hours and no need to work overtime, which is the long-term path. Although there are many things she doesn't know and needs to learn, I will always protect her. So during that time, I would cover for her if she was late or took leave unexpectedly. Of course, her salary also increased significantly. From a direct employee to an indirect employee, there was a lot to learn, but she learned very quickly, which was well deserved! I remember her telling me, "Although you are younger than me, I think you understand things and have better interpersonal skills than I do. That's why I think you are very reliable." I joined Company W in 2007. Due to the financial crisis, the company group merged Company C into Company W, and some of our staff were transferred to Company C. Of course, Eileen and I were also transferred to Company C. During the transfer process in 2008, the production lines were moving equipment, so some floors were without power and empty. At that time, there was no production, and we didn't want to take unpaid leave, so Eileen and I often hid on empty floors to chat and rest. At that time, we were just good friends; there hadn't been any overnight stays. We were simply very good colleagues. Our relationship started to become closer after we transferred to Company C, and it was also from Company C that she gradually rose from assistant to manager. I got married in 2011, but not to Eileen; it was to my girlfriend of ten years. That's when the overnight stays ended, but... my relationship with Eileen was already inseparable.

Chapter Four: Unexpected Incidents

During the period of overnight stays, several things left a deep impression on me, and because of these things, my relationship with her became very close. Because of her long-term medication, she was often drowsy after taking it. One time, I worked overtime, and she went home first, thinking I wouldn't be too late, so she took her medication after showering. When she came to pick me up after work, I felt something was off about her. She said she could drive, but I looked at her and saw she was wearing pajamas when she left. I thought the person I knew wouldn't do such a thing, and sure enough… not long after driving out of the company gate, the car veered too far to the side of the road and knocked off the rearview mirror. I quickly told her to stop the car so I could drive back. I was terrified. From then on, whenever I went home with her, I always drove. That was incident one. Another incident also happened at night. After taking her medication, we were lying in bed. I wasn't sleepy and was watching TV, while she was already asleep. Strangely, her body started twitching involuntarily, and she said she felt cold. I felt something was wrong, so I drove her to the hospital emergency room. The doctor gave her an injection and didn't say anything wrong. She rested in the emergency room. I remember staying there until around 2 a.m. I saw she was still drowsy and the twitching had stopped, so I told her we should go home. There was no point in staying there. So I drove her home. Of course, she couldn't get up in the morning. I left her a note telling her to rest today and call me when she woke up. I was going to work. She didn't really remember what happened, only that I took her to the emergency room and that she was very tired. These incidents all stemmed from problems accumulated from her long-term medication. Her health wasn't actually very good; she would experience various issues periodically, such as unexplained fevers, dizziness, or weakness, and it's still the same now. So, I did my best to cover for her at work, ensuring her performance and leave hours were acceptable. Of course... later on, I was responsible for all her performance reviews, so her base pay was higher than others in the department.

Chapter Five: Passionate

Encounters. During our time together, we had passionate encounters almost every night. We experienced everything except SM and anal sex. She would even buy sexy pajamas for me to admire. Of course, sometimes I would ask her to change into pretty clothes and leave some souvenirs. I set up a cloud storage account for her; we both knew the account and password. She would upload photos, and I would go online to admire them. Of course, there are also regular photos of daily life. I personally don't like to see photos of private parts, so I told her not to take any more photos of that part. So most of the photos I uploaded later were of my elders, or of them taking a shower and getting wet, or of them being photos of my favorite lingerie. She also bought a lot of purple lingerie for me. Later on, our behavior became increasingly daring. At first, we would wait until everyone in the office had left, leaving only the two of us. I would call her to my seat, and she would hide under my desk and start touching me. I would also reach into her clothes and rub her teardrop-shaped breasts, attacking her nipples. At this point, we were wild. She responded to my needs with her mouth, sucking on my penis until I ejaculated in her mouth. Of course... she didn't mind giving me oral sex. I still remember my first time giving her oral sex. I told her, "I can't take it anymore, I'm going to come~ Ah~~" Just as I was about to pull out, Eileen held me tightly and hugged my buttocks with both hands to prevent me from pulling out. At that moment, I couldn't pull out, so I had to ejaculate in her mouth, and she actually swallowed it all and cleaned it with her mouth and tongue. I asked her why she wouldn't let me pull out and why she had to swallow it.

She hugged me and replied, "Because I don't want to stop, and... it makes me feel accomplished." I said, "Isn't that a bad idea? I'm afraid the taste will be too strong." Eileen said, "It's okay! It doesn't taste like much." After saying that, she got up and lay on top of me, kissing my chest. I pulled her up and responded, kissing her lips. She looked at me in surprise and said, "Eileen, you dare to kiss me?" I said, "Why wouldn't I dare? You even sucked on me." Eileen said, "Isn't that the same as you eating your own?" I said, "So what? You were willing to eat on me, are you that surprised when I kiss you?"

At that moment, I knew that perhaps in her previous experience, her partners wouldn't kiss her after oral sex, but for me, it didn't matter. Our first office romance began. After working overtime, we'd deliberately stay until everyone else had left, sometimes even until one or two colleagues were still there. She'd come to my seat, and we'd enjoy the experience. Sometimes, if a colleague was still there, I'd be bolder, pulling her into the meeting room, locking the door, and then, while she was on the chair, I'd pull down her legs, and she'd be on the table, making thrusting motions from behind. She'd always cover her mouth, making no sound, only moaning and groaning as she enjoyed the thrill. It felt good, but she was afraid of being discovered, and she had to suppress herself. Experiencing this, I understood why so many people seek this kind of stimulation—because the feeling is truly unique. Our office flirting and sex only lasted after get off work. During work hours, Erin would sometimes come to my seat under the guise of asking about work, leaning on my desk. Sometimes she'd secretly pull down her collar and say, "Does it look good? It's your favorite color." Or occasionally she'd wear a low-cut or V-neck top, showing off her cleavage and asking, "Is it big? Is it sexy?" Even the occasional teasing made me want to reach out and rub my hands several times, but there were so many people in the office, so I had the idea of taking it a step further.

Me: "Eileen~ come with me to the fifth floor. The production line reported a cleaning issue; let's take a look." (The fifth floor is the company's top floor, housing a bunch of air compressors, water heaters, and water purifiers. There's also a cleaning room used by the production line, which is usually empty except during cleaning operations, as it contains solvents or strong acids.) Eileen: "Oh~ wait a minute, I need to grab something." Me: "I'll go up and check the situation first." A few minutes later~ Eileen came up! Eileen entered the cleaning room and said, "What problem did the production line say? I didn't know?" I closed the door as she came in. Me: "It wasn't the production line that said it, it was me. A cleaning problem." As I spoke, I hugged her from behind and started groping her body. Eileen: "Hey~ No! What are you doing?" Me: "What do you think I'm doing? Hugging you and touching you." Eileen: "Ugh~ What if someone comes? You're being ridiculous." Me: "Who would come? People only come during the season when I'm getting my skin done. Who would normally come to a place as 'toxic' as this?" Eileen: "You know it's toxic, so stop touching me!" Because her ears are her erogenous zone, I started attacking her ears while hugging her. While hugging her, I gently blew on the back of her ears and lightly licked her earlobes with my tongue. At this point, she started to go limp all over. I knew... she was aroused. Eileen: "No~ Not here. You know I'll feel something, and you still do this." Me: "That's why I'm doing this! Otherwise, why would I kiss you like this? Does it feel good?" At this moment, I gently sucked on her earlobe and licked her ear with my tongue. At the same time, her laptop was placed directly on the shelf next to her, and she reached down to touch my crotch. Eileen: "Here? Does it feel good?" Me: "It's gotten bigger, it's so uncomfortable." Eileen turned around and squatted down, pulling my pants down to my ankles. Looking at my swollen penis, she kissed it with the same practiced ease, sucking and stroking it back and forth. I bent down to grab my favorite D-cup breasts. She said, "Your period is coming soon, so today it feels like a small E-cup and a big D-cup, different from usual! Did you notice?" Me: "Of course~ No wonder I felt strange, it felt different from before. So big."

Today she was wearing a white chiffon dress with a crimson long skirt, my favorite kind of dress. I love seeing girls in skirts, especially long skirts, they always give off a special vibe. This time, we came up to the fifth floor. I didn't plan to finish so quickly. After sucking for a while, I helped her up, turned her over, and this time I lifted her long skirt, pulled down her black panties, and gently caressed her private parts, which were already wet. She reached down and grabbed my penis, stroking it.

I whispered in her ear, "Is it okay?" Eileen: "Mmm~"

And so, on the fifth floor of the company, we had a thrilling sexual encounter; from withdrawal the first time to internal ejaculation later, she thoughtfully told me she didn't like stopping halfway through to put on a condom, it felt awful, and she also felt the feeling of doing it with a condom was strange, and also told me that it was more comfortable without a condom. After each time, she would buy emergency contraception, and of course, she would tell me when it was safe and when it was dangerous. I really feel that meeting her and having this experience in my life is truly a rare privilege. Our sexual footprints can be found on the company rooftop/air compressor room/office/conference room, and you think that's all our achievements?

Later, I resigned. For the first six months after leaving, we'd meet for meals almost every month or two. Of course, I wouldn't miss such opportunities. Because of the nature of my next job, sometimes when I was on business trips, I'd drive to Company C and call to ask if she had time to have lunch together. She'd take half a day off, and I'd drive her to lunch, then take her home. After lunch, we'd drive to the mall parking lot and explore each other's bodies again in the car. I can only say that the space in the car was incredibly cramped; it would have been better to book a hotel room if possible.

The final chapter: I left Company C at the end of 2016. Of course, Eileen stayed there. In one phone call after I left, I think… she must have taken medication and didn't know what she was saying! Because I lost someone who could take care of her at work, and the time we could spend together in the future was almost nonexistent. So I remember two days before I left, I comforted her a lot on the company's rooftop. On the day I completed my resignation procedures, Eileen deliberately took the day off and didn't come to work.

In that phone call, our conversation wasn't long. Eileen: "Waaah..." Me: "What's wrong? What happened?" Eileen: "You know what? I like you." Me: "I know." Eileen: "I really like you so much." Eileen: "I have something to tell you, something I've never told anyone before." Me: "What is it? Tell me." Eileen: "You are the man I've ever truly loved, and you'll be my last man." Me: "..............I know." Eileen: "I really don't want to........." Eileen: "Can you please stop........." Me: "It's getting late, don't cry anymore, if your eyes are swollen, people will ask again at work tomorrow." Eileen: "Goodbye."

From that time on, I knew... I would never forget her, and I thank her for all the firsts we had, all the firsts I experienced, which I will never forget in my life.

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A secret hidden deep in my heart

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