Adult Jokes Collection 6

1.
So... I went to see a movie with a good friend. While we were queuing to buy tickets,
a strange man approached us.
He explained his purpose... He said, "Excuse me, miss,
I have an appointment with my girlfriend, but I'm late.
Could you let me cut in line?" Of course, I refused...
He had to ask the lady in front of him again... "Excuse me, miss, could you let me '
cut in line' for a bit? I'm in a hurry..." The lady readily agreed,
but then added...
"You can only cut in front of me, not behind me..."
2.
Xiao Ming's father was away fishing at sea year-round,
leaving Xiao Ming and his mother alone.
One day, Xiao Ming's mother couldn't suppress her desire,
so she took off her clothes, touched her body, and said to herself in the mirror,
"I need a man... I need a man..."
Xiao Ming was on his way to school and passed by his mother's door.
Seeing his mother's strange actions and expressions, but because he was in a hurry to get to school,
he didn't think much of it. When Xiao Ming got home from school, he was
shocked to find his mother in bed with a man.
She rushed into her room, took off her clothes, and,
imitating her mother, looked in the mirror and said, "
I want a bicycle... I want a bicycle..."
A
pretty female student was suddenly called on by her biology professor in class to answer:
"When a person is excited or agitated, which part of your body will swell tenfold?"
"I... I refuse to answer this question," the girl stammered,
her eyes shyly avoiding the male student sitting next to her. Then,
another student was called upon and gave the correct answer: "Pupil."
"Miss Rogers," the professor said,
"your refusal to answer just now proves three things. First, you didn't prepare your lessons last night;
second, you're full of wicked thoughts..." Finally, the professor concluded,
"Third, I'm afraid you'll be greatly disappointed in your future married life."
4.
It is said that Miss Wang often bought bread from a bakery near her home...
Over time... she noticed something like... that...
kind of curly fuzz on the bread... and angrily went to find the bakery owner
. While Miss Wang was arguing with him, the owner told her...
that in the last stage of making bread... he habitually
tucked the bread under his arm... so... it's inevitable that some fuzz would fall out
... So the owner told Miss Wang... that he's actually
doing alright!!... Look at how that donut shop across the street makes
theirs!!
A romantic husband one day accompanied a stranger
holding a bouquet of roses to his door. He rang the doorbell, wanting to surprise his wife.
When she came down and saw him, she quickly said to him: Come in! Come in! My husband's not here!
5.
This time, another ugly man
accidentally saved a fairy, and
luckily, the fairy granted him three wishes.
The ugly man excitedly strolled down the street
when suddenly he saw a poster of Rambo.
He made his
first wish: "I want to be as strong as him!" he roared to the sky...
(**action** Passersby cast curious glances...!)
Bang! The ugly man suddenly became incredibly strong!
He strolled down the street, laughing triumphantly.
(...**action**... Passersby scattered...!)
Suddenly, the ugly man saw
a poster of Tom Cruise. "I want to be as handsome as him!"
the ugly man roared again...
(well, actually he saw my poster...)
Bang! Another bang! A handsome and strong man appeared on the street...
(...action...the girl cast an envious
glance ) So the "handsome guy" was idling on the street again.
Suddenly, he saw someone selling cows
. "I want one as big as that one," the "handsome guy"
drooled and secretly chuckled as he made his third wish. "
Let's see who dares to look down on me now.
I'm big, handsome, and strong!" he thought to himself.
*Boom!* His third wish came true. *Snap
!* His "one" was gone...
It turned out he was referring to a cow...
6.
Three people, A, B, and C, traveled to Africa. They
arrived at a tribe and, seeing it was getting dark,
decided to rest. The story unfolded...
That night, the three went for a walk and accidentally spied on the chief's wife bathing.
Tragically... they were all captured. The chief was furious and
asked A: "Do you want to die or have your penis flicked?"
A thought: "Better to live than die."
A said: "Flick me!"
The chief then said: "Grab me and flick my penis fifty times..."
After a while... From afar came the mournful wail of A…
The chief then asked B the same question
. B's answer was the same as A's, but the chief's reply was:
"Grab him and flick him a hundred times… "
Upon hearing this, B fainted. After a while,
everyone heard an even louder sound.
When it was C's turn, everyone held their breath. C announced with a heavy heart:
"Let me die!"…
The chief ordered: "Grab him and flick him until he dies…"
Everyone: ^&(&^%^#$%#^&&*^^%$^$#$^
7
One day, a woodcutter encountered an ascetic monk in the deep mountains and began chatting with him…
Woodcutter: "How long have you been cultivating here, Master?"
Monk: "About thirty years..."
Woodcutter: "Master, with such cultivation, how many times a month do you still experience arousal?" Monk
: "This humble monk's cultivation is still shallow; I still experience arousal three times a month..."
Woodcutter: "Master, you are indeed no ordinary person! I admire you greatly!!"
Monk: "Not at all! Each time lasts only ten days..."
8.
There was a young couple whose child was just learning to speak.
The husband often saw his wife diligently
teaching their child to say "Dad." The husband was deeply moved,
thinking how wonderful it was that his wife taught their child to say "Dad" first
, instead of "Mom," and felt truly happy.
One cold winter night, a child cried incessantly, calling for his father.
The couple, sound asleep, were startled when the wife
nudged her husband, saying, "Your son keeps calling you, you'd better go quickly!
" Only then did the husband realize, "Oh, I see..."
9.
Little Fish: Last time my girlfriend and I went out, we ended up killing someone...
Little Yang: Really?? You hit someone??
Little Fish: No... I "caused" a "death"...
10.
Little Fish ran home crying. A playmate had accidentally hurt his finger.
Mommy: Don't cry... sweetie! (She kissed his finger.)
A little while later, Little Fish ran in crying again, this time with a scraped cheek.
Mommy still applied medicine and kissed him on the forehead.
A short while later, Little Fish ran in crying again, this time because a playmate
had accidentally kicked his penis.
Mommy sighed: This child is becoming more and more like his father...
11.
A man wanted to try something new, so he went to a sex shop to buy colorful condoms.
He saw two colorful condoms, one black and one shaped like Mickey Mouse.
He decided to buy the black one and took it home. He and his wife had sex a few times,
but the condom didn't work. Later, his wife became pregnant and
gave birth to a baby after nine months. Six years later,
the child grew up and asked his father one day,
"Why are my older brother and sister's skin white, but mine is black?"
The father replied, "Son, you should be thankful you don't look like Mickey Mouse."
12
One day, the platoon leader (Big Head Brother) of a certain company had a day off and went
to see the night view with a girl (Egg Sister). For a moment, they both reached
a state of complete absorption... At this moment, Egg Sister placed her hand
on Big Head Brother's chest and asked
, "Big Head Brother, what is this?"
Big Head Brother replied, "This is my well-built chest."
Egg Sister continued to move her hand down and asked again
, "Big Head Brother, what is this?"
Big Head Brother replied, "This is my firm abdomen."
Egg Sister continued to move her hand down and asked again
... Sister: Big Head Brother, what's this?
Big Head Brother: This is my proud cadre.
Of course, Big Head Brother wasn't going to be outdone, so he placed his hand on Egg Sister's chest and asked
, "Egg Sister, what's this?"
Egg Sister: This is my full breasts.
At this moment, Big Head Brother continued to move his hand down and asked again
, "Egg Sister, what's this?"
Egg Sister: This is my slender waist.
At this moment, Egg Sister continued to move her hand down and asked again
, "Egg Sister, what's this?"
Egg Sister: Oh! This is the cadre activity center.

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Adult Jokes Collection 6

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