Adult Jokes Collection 5

One
day, a wealthy businessman was driving his Cadillac with his beautiful young daughter. As they drove through a deserted area,
they spotted several menacing-looking robbers blocking their way. The father and daughter were panicked and didn't know what to do.
Suddenly, the daughter had a brilliant idea: "Daddy, why don't we hide all our valuables in my little hole to minimize the loss
?" Sure enough, when the robbers stopped them,
they couldn't find any money and had no choice but to drive off in the Cadillac. The wealthy businessman watched the Cadillac drive away and sighed
, "Ah! If only your mother were here!"
2.
A playboy married a country girl... On their wedding night, shortly after the bride and groom entered their bridal chamber, the playboy was
carried out to the emergency room...
Mother-in-law: What happened??
Bride: Uh... I don't know... He told me to eat...
I thought it would be impolite to eat with my hands, so I went to the kitchen to get chopsticks...
But I was worried he would laugh at me for using chopsticks, thinking it was vulgar and
undignified, so I used a knife and fork instead...
3.
A man suffered from a severe stutter, always stammering when speaking. One day, his wife couldn't stand his stutter anymore
and told him to see a doctor. Upon arriving at the hospital and
registering, he was called in by the doctor, who said, "
Doctor...you...can...you...treat...my...slurred speech?"
After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "The cause of your slurred speech is that your penis is too large, a full
40 centimeters. If you want to cure your slurred speech, you must have surgery to remove 15 centimeters." To cure his annoying slurred speech,
he underwent surgery, having 15 centimeters removed.
After the surgery, his slurred speech disappeared, and his speech became fluent. He happily went home. His wife was
also very happy to see that his slurred speech was cured. However, that night, after they made love, his wife felt very unsatisfied
and said to him, "I think you're better off the way you were before. Go ask the doctor to reposition it tomorrow!"
The next day, he went to the hospital again. When he saw the doctor, he said, "Doctor, please do another surgery. I want to get my penis
back to its original shape."
The doctor replied, "It's too late..."
4.
Xiao Zhu was vigorously caressing his girlfriend. When he touched her breasts,
Xiao Zhu asked, "What is this?" His girlfriend replied, "It's a doorbell." Xiao Zhu
asked again, "Then why doesn't the doorbell make a sound when I press it?"
His girlfriend angrily said, "Idiot! How can it make a sound if it's not plugged in?"
5.
A-Dai: Dad, what is sex?
Dad: Well... let me demonstrate for you.
(Dad leads A-Dai into the room and points to Mom lying on the bed)
Dad: See Mom's hole? Dad: Watch carefully...
(Dad jumps onto the bed and starts having sex with Mom)
(At this moment, the younger brother runs into the room)
Younger brother: What is Dad doing? A-Dai: Having sex with Mom. Younger
brother: What is sex?
A-Dai: See Dad's hole? A-Dai: Watch carefully...
6.
In a remote mountain in inland China, lived a mother and daughter who led a very simple life, having never seen many modern
electrical appliances.
One day, because it was rumored that reactionary elements were lurking in the mountain, the mother and daughter were implicated and arrested by the police, and imprisoned separately in
different prisons. May arrived, and Mother's Day was approaching. The daughter missed her mother very much, so she went to the warden to ask if she could
see her mother.
The warden said, "A meeting is impossible, but I can give you a microphone so you can record a message for your mother."
The daughter thanked him profusely, but the warden then said,
"However, you have to do something for me first." With that, he stood up, took off his pants, pointed to his
genitals ,
and gave a lewd grin. Seeing this, the daughter happily grasped the stick-like object with both hands and shouted at it
, "Mom! Happy Mother's Day!"
7.
In a monastery high in the mountains lived a group of ascetic nuns. They usually rode bicycles down the mountain every day to buy
necessities...
Suddenly one day... the old nun couldn't stand it anymore... and gathered everyone together to scold them: "[If any of you... ride your bicycles down the mountain
shouting ...
I'll put the bicycle seat back on!!!"
8.
There was once a small, uninhabited island in the South Pacific, inhabited only by a few black people who had never been in contact with
the outside world.
Until that day... A cruise ship sank not far from the island, and only two white nuns survived, drifting
to the beach at the southern tip of the island.
Two local residents studied the unconscious nuns for an afternoon, because they had never seen white people before and didn't know
what they were. As darkness fell,
suddenly the two nuns slowly awoke. The two natives were so frightened that they quickly climbed a coconut tree... The two nuns buried their heads in the coconut
leaves . When they awoke, they were starving. Looking around, they saw only coconut trees. They went to the trees, but
they were too tall, and the nuns could only sigh longingly at the coconuts.
Suddenly, one of the nuns exclaimed as if discovering a new continent, "Look, there's a hole in this coconut tree!" The other nun
said, "Hey! This one has one too!" After studying them for a while, they thought, "Oh! It might be a vending machine!" The first nun immediately
took out a coin and put it into the hole. The native in the first tree felt a sharp pain in his bottom and couldn't help but shake it vigorously. A
coconut fell down. "It really is a vending machine!" The second nun immediately took out a coin and put it into the hole in the tree in front of her
. However, the native in this tree was a coward and didn't dare to move. The second nun waited for a long time,
but nothing fell down. "Strange, is this machine broken? Let's find the coin return lever." The second
nun found the coin return lever and shook it for a while... "Look!" "This machine sells coconut milk!"
One
day, Xiaoming burst into tears. Dad: Xiaoming, why are you crying?
Xiaoming: The uncle next door has ice cream, but he only gives it to Mom,
he won't give me any. Dad: How do you know? Xiaoming:

Because I heard my mom say to lick it quickly before it softens.
A couple went out for a bike ride, but ran out of gas halfway through.
They went to a gas station hand-in-hand, and just as they saw the gas station ahead,
a sudden gust of wind blew the girl's hat away. The boy said to the girl, "
I'll go get the hat, you go get the gas." The girl said, "Okay."
The boy ran to get the hat, and after he got it, he looked back and saw
the girl standing there shouting, "Gas!
Gas! Gas!"

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