It's just loneliness.

The night alone was still filled with loneliness. I hugged my legs, buried my head between them. How long had it been since I'd been so immersed in solitude? But tonight, I didn't want to embrace that feeling; I just wanted to relieve my physical and mental exhaustion.
I entered a chat room with only two English letters, randomly typing in a nickname. Even though I publicly identified myself as a lesbian, it seemed many men were interested—perhaps out of a sense of challenge, or perhaps because with the lights off, it didn't really matter.
"Hey, mind if we grab a drink?"
Looking at the nickname, 40 and still using such a cute emoji?
'Ugh~ What are you up to, old man~'
"Nothing much, just seeing how you are, I thought a drink would cheer you up. I can even give you a massage~ and a bath will make you feel much better."
Hmm… that sounds pretty appealing… I definitely need to relax my tired body.
'Really? I'm so tempted~ (eyes light up)
' "Really? Where are you? I'll come get you."
'Wow~ So thoughtful of you~ I'm on xx street, is that convenient for you?'
"It's not far, just wait for me at the 7-Eleven at the alley entrance, my car is…"
'Okay~ I'm wearing a light blue shirt and shorts, waiting for you~'
"See you later."
I changed my clothes, sprayed on my usual CK, and went to wait. While waiting, I lit a cigarette. When did I start smoking...? Probably when I was immersed in sadness, the wound that wouldn't heal always ached, as if it was bleeding even if I ignored it. Only through the nicotine rushing into my lungs could I relax. Eh... why am I thinking about her again...?
Soon, I saw a Mazda 5 pull up, and the window rolled down.
"Hey, kid, get in."
'Huh? I'm an adult now, why am I still a kid?'
"To me, you are~ Hahahaha."
The uncle laughed heartily, walked around me, and fastened my seatbelt.
"Let's go." We didn't talk much on the way, but the music kept things from getting awkward, and the air freshener in the car made me feel quite relaxed. We soon arrived at a motel near Phase 7 for a "rest."
The older man took my hand and led me upstairs. "Would you like to shower first? You'd probably be shy if we showered together, so you go ahead." Hmm… thoughtful… a plus. We both showered quickly, and the older man opened the red wine he'd brought. "Have some wine, red wine is good for girls." "Wow~ Time for a drink~" After a few drinks, my tense body began to relax. Looking closer, the uncle's physique was quite good; unlike typical middle-aged men with excess fat, he looked like he worked out. Although he didn't have eight-pack abs, he was quite muscular, and he had a cute little mustache. "Come on, let me give you a massage." The uncle took my hand and led me to the bedside, placing a pillow for me. I didn't hesitate, took off the towel, and lay down. "Let's begin. Tell me if you feel uncomfortable." I immediately felt a pair of thick, rough hands covering my back, and they began to massage me rhythmically. Hmm... quite good... it feels so good I'm about to fall asleep... "I'm going to start massaging your thighs now. I might touch your private parts a little. Tell me immediately if you feel uncomfortable." "Um..." I could only vaguely respond as my consciousness gradually became hazy. But gradually, I began to feel... something different. When those hands touched the delicate skin on my inner thighs, it was like an electric current shooting into my brain, and I unconsciously let out a muffled groan. "Is it uncomfortable?" "No...it feels good...you can continue." Why is it so hot...and his massage is really good...but there's a strange feeling... the hands on my legs, intentionally or unintentionally touching my private parts, but not very close. Ah...it seems... gradually, the fingers got closer and closer, I felt those hands gently parting my thighs to the sides, the pressure noticeably increasing as they approached the inside. This continued for a few minutes, the sensation growing stronger and stronger. A kiss landed on my back, a tingling sensation spreading across it, a warm breath behind my ear touching my sensitive spot, I was almost losing control... "Hey, you're wet." "It's all because... um..." Embarrassed and annoyed, I turned to the assailant behind me. Before I could finish speaking, lips covered my face, a tongue aggressively invading, relentlessly probing. I, like a madwoman, wanted more. My body was turned over, those thick hands covering my chest, kneading with varying pressure. His mouth gradually moved down to the other breast, gently biting the nipple, licking and biting. Under the simultaneous attack from both sides, I was almost overwhelmed, yet unwilling to let him leave, I pressed my lips closer to my chest. As if encouraged, the person on my chest increased the pressure, soon moving downwards, kissing the inside of my thighs, parting my vulva, but doing nothing, just watching. "Um... what are you doing..." "I'm enjoying it," he said playfully. "You... ah..." Before I could protest, he continued his actions , kissing my protruding spot. The sudden stimulation made me tremble involuntarily. "Mmm..." A wet, warm sensation covered me, and a nimble tongue licked it incessantly, occasionally sliding across the entrance of my vagina. Just when I felt I was about to reach my limit, his tongue suddenly entered the opening, gently thrusting in and out. I couldn't control myself anymore; I wanted more... "Please... give it to me..." "What do you want?" Though he spoke, his actions continued. "I...want...you to come in..." He pulled off the towel, and his magnificent member filled me with excitement and a touch of fear. Could I really handle it...? But desire overwhelmed my reason, and all I wanted was for the emptiness below to be filled. He grasped his magnificent member and slowly entered, gradually thrusting to the deepest point, but without any further movements, just kissing. The discomfort below had subsided, but there was an itchy sensation, making me move involuntarily. He began to move slowly, but only thrusting in and out gently. I began to feel a slight pleasure, but it wasn't enough, I wanted more...I wanted more...My hips danced in sync with his movements, and he began to increase the force, each thrust reaching the deepest point. "Ah..." The stimulation was so intense that I couldn't help but cry out. "I love hearing your voice, moan out," he commanded, making me obey unconsciously. "Ah...so good...fuck me...fuck me," he encouraged, his lustful eyes seeming to see right through me. He flipped me over, holding my buttocks, and continued thrusting relentlessly. It seemed he was reaching even deeper than before; my mind was blank, only able to moan lasciviously. "Ah...you...so good...so good...please fuck me to death..." "You're so tight...it feels so good..."

He flipped me over again, picked me up, and his huge penis was still inside me. The sudden movement startled me, and I cried out, but the pleasure that followed left me no time to be startled; the feeling of pleasure filled my mind. The uncle was just holding me and thrusting into me like that.
"Hoo... Is it good~"
"Yes... Yes... Uncle, you're so amazing..."
"Oh... Darling... If you squeeze any tighter, I'm going to come..."
"I... I'm almost there too... Ah..."
"Let's do it together... Ah..."
I felt my vagina contract, and I unconsciously hugged the uncle tighter. Then I was gently placed on the bed, and I felt the magnificence inside me slowly fading.
"Hoo... My little cutie... That felt so good."
"Hoo... Me too."
I nestled shyly against his firm chest, just hugging him like that, feeling a warmth. Then I regained some rationality, left that warm place, went to the window, and lit a cigarette.
"Will we ever see each other again?"
She smiled without answering, only giving him a kiss . "
Let's go."
"Are you sure you don't need me to take you home?"
"No, it's close anyway. You should go home quickly and drive carefully.
" "Then I'm off."
Watching him leave, she lit another cigarette, took out her phone, found his name, and deleted it. Deleting that promiscuous version of herself seemed like an attempt to cover up the fact that it had only just happened. Anyway, it was just loneliness. Having lost the ability to love again, what right did she have to harbor any affection or lingering feelings for the person she had a one-night stand with?

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It's just loneliness.

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