How to Become a Stepfather (Short Story) by Ma Xiufeng

Foreword:
This article is basically based on my personal experience. I've wanted to write it down for a long time, but I never felt I could write it well. Later, while chatting with an online friend, with his guidance, I was able to recall the whole process quite completely, so I got lazy and stopped writing it down. I just slightly edited the chat log. You can see that it still has some conversational tone. It's rough, but it's the most genuine reaction. I hope that after reading it, whether you think it's good or bad, you'll share your feelings. I'll be very happy if you do.
Here's a hint: The title may be misleading, but after reading it, you'll understand why I chose this title.
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No Happiness Without Cutting Out the Past
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My stepfather was actually my junior high school classmate; we weren't in the same class before. My mother used to teach at the county's No. 1 Middle School, where I also studied. I attended the county's No. 1 Middle School for my first year of junior high. But in my second year of junior high, my mom offended her boss, who used a teaching assignment as an opportunity to get me a teaching position at a rural middle school. My dad was working on the railway at the time and rarely came home. My mom was afraid I'd go astray without supervision—well, I was already starting to go a little astray then, hanging out with older kids,
learning to smoke, drink, and watch videos. Without even telling me, my mom just sent me to the rural middle school too. She didn't care if I went to a good school, she just wanted me to stay out of trouble, and also wanted me to experience hardship and learn some manners. I guess many of you probably had parents who deliberately transferred you from city schools when you were young, because you were disobedient. It was all to make you suffer, and that's what happened to me. So I spent my second year of junior high at the rural middle school. Our area is all mountains; any slightly flat land is either a county town or a township. The other villages, including the township itself, are all in the mountains. This was around 2003.
The village where our middle school was located was supposedly the township government seat, but back then there was no road access. The nearest town was about 20 or 30 li away. Then the remaining villages in the township were mostly located in mountain valleys,
accessible only by foot, and dozens of miles apart, very isolated, with villagers rarely leaving the mountains. Let me tell you about our school. The walls were made of broken bricks, topped with thorns and broken glass. The gate was a peeling iron gate with pointed tops, and the classrooms and dormitories were drafty. We had to make do with newspapers and planks because we didn't have the money to replace the broken windows.
My mom was given the best room, a single dormitory room, while I shared a large dormitory with other boys. Twenty people shared a room with two heated brick beds, ten on each side. In winter, I often woke up freezing at night, my nose icy cold.
Now let me tell you about my classmate. He was older than all of us, two years older. He started school late and had to repeat a grade because he didn't do well. His family was incredibly poor, practically destitute. His mother had long wanted him to stop studying. His father was in poor health, and his mother was also struggling.
I don't know how they managed to raise such a grown son. I was fifteen then, and he was seventeen, already over 1.8 meters tall, with a very well-proportioned figure and a muscular build. He was just a bit dark-skinned, and apart from resembling his parents in appearance, he didn't look like them at all. You've probably all seen those kinds of people in school—bad at studying, no matter how hard they try. It's not that they don't want to learn, it's just that effort is useless.
But they're incredibly skilled at other things. My classmate was that kind of person. And he was particularly interested in me—maybe that's not the right word. Anyway, you know, transfer students in a new environment either get bullied or isolated; I was the latter. But he was the first to actively befriend me. To this day, I don't know, and I don't dare ask, if he genuinely wanted to be friends with me, or if he was just after my mom from the start. And this guy, although tall and clever, also had a touch of naiveté. He always wanted me to talk about things in the city. I was mischievous back then,
so I bragged to him, and he started to admire me a little. I bragged about how I could take on several people at once in fights, and about all the delicious food in the city. As I mentioned earlier, his family was incredibly poor. His father was useless, and his mother, being a woman, had to do everything from a young age. He could do almost anything. His mother had long wanted him to stay home and work instead of continuing his studies, but the principal intervened. Back then, compulsory education was being assessed, and dropout rates were one of the metrics. The principal personally intervened, waiving all fees to barely keep him in. So, as I told you, this was a very complicated matter; many factors needed to be present for it to work.
After that, we became close, though I forget exactly when it started, but it must have started as soon as we arrived. After we got to know each other, he would sometimes come with me to my mother's dormitory. As I mentioned before, the dormitory was slightly better, but still dilapidated. For one thing, the windows were the old-fashioned wooden-framed windows, long rotten, painted green—the kind of wooden-framed windows that used to be common in rural northern schools, broken into four pieces. The door was also broken. He found some wooden strips, a hammer, and nails and repaired the windows for my mother,
basically just reinforcing them. He also patched up the gaps in the door. Later, another time, he sat on a chair in the room, and the chair was a bit wobbly. The next day, he repaired all the chairs in the room, as well as the chairs and the teacher's desk in the classroom. I think that's probably when he started to like my mom. Now, let me talk about my mom. My mom is the voluptuous type, with a round face and short hair. She's 1.63 meters tall and weighs 130 pounds, those were her measurements back then, especially her large breasts. My mom never wears tight clothes in the summer,
and she still does now, afraid that her breasts will show and she'll feel ugly. She also rarely wears a bra, because wearing a bra would only make her breasts look bigger, she just wears white tank tops. Then, the year before last, I saw one of her bras. We're all grown up now and don't care about these things anymore. I picked up the bra and saw that my mom had removed the metal bars from it. I said, "Why did you take it off?" My mom told me, "It's so tight, how can I go out in public?" You can imagine how conservative my mom is. But maybe Lao Niu, my classmate's surname is Niu, everyone calls him Lao Niu. Lao Niu might just like this kind of person. Sometimes I wonder if it's related to the fact that he had little contact with women growing up.
And then, wasn't he just talking about fixing doors, windows, and chairs? It's almost November, and it's cold in the mountains, so they light the stove in November. I remember using a futuristic stove when I was little; my mom's dorm had one. Old Niu did all the work installing the stove, including the body and the chimney.
My mom and I didn't even lift a finger. After that, Old Niu would fix the chimney once a week. Old Niu has one good point: he's quick-witted, not good with words, and doesn't talk nonsense. If he were to be glib and slick while working, my mom probably would have seen through his ulterior motives long ago. He's just a hard worker. Later, my mom

even made me his deskmate because Old Niu listens very attentively in class, and my mom wasn't worried about us talking during class; she actually wanted Old Niu to mentor me. Then, this seating arrangement had a surprising effect. While others didn't notice, I noticed something was off. He wasn't paying attention in class at all. Perhaps "not paying attention at all" is a bit of an exaggeration, but half his attention was fixed on my mom, not the chalk in her hand. Most importantly, sometimes he was writing notes on slips of paper, not taking notes, just scribbling randomly. When I asked him what he was writing, he wouldn't show me. I thought he had a crush on our class monitor, who was a girl and
quite pretty. Later, when he wasn't around, I secretly rummaged through his desk. There was a wad of notes inside, and when I opened them, they were all filled with my mom's name. Some said "Xiujuan, I love you," and my mom's name is Liu Xiujuan. The rest said "Juan, I love you," or just several "Juan"s in a row. I was stunned. I had a feeling he might be going this far, but I didn't expect it to be this intense. Then I started wondering what I should do.
Strangely, I was a little angry, and although my heart was pounding and my face was flushed, I was very calm as I considered the matter. I felt excited, nervous, and all sorts of emotions, but not at all panicked. Even now, I think I was remarkably calm when I was thinking about this. Of course, now it seems like a childish joke, different from true calmness. I hadn't thought through the cause and effect at all; I was acting entirely on my childish assumptions, lacking an understanding of the consequences. I just lacked the anger I felt.
Actually, I already had a plan in mind, but it took me a few days to finalize it. I felt I should help him. And don't laugh at me, I was only 15 at the time. My thought was that if Lao Niu and I got together, and if Lao Niu also got together with my mom, then my mom wouldn't be so strict with me because of Lao Niu. If I did anything wrong, Lao Niu could talk to my mom on my behalf, and my life would be easier. Honestly, I was so naive and
childish back then. Only a teenager would have such a naive idea, but that was the conclusion I reached after several days of consideration. Later, I thought for several more days about how to help him, and finally decided on a risky method.

Winters in the mountains are cold. The boys' dormitory is so big with two heated brick beds,
but only two small stoves, and they're stingy with coal. I had moved to my mom's dormitory a long time ago to live with her. So I decided to talk to my mom and ask her to agree to let Lao Niu move in too. Whether it worked out or not depended on Lao Niu's own abilities. My mom knew the boys' dormitory was indeed cold, and Lao Niu and I were good friends. She also had a good impression of Lao Niu—not just a romantic impression, but pure admiration—so she agreed. I slept in one bed with Lao Niu, which he helped build with bricks and planks, with a curtain in the middle. My mom slept on the other side of the curtain.
The house wasn't big, so the actual space between rooms was only about a meter. Lao Niu moved in in December, I forget the exact date. When he moved in, he was preparing water for my mom to wash her feet, and he even wanted to pour it out for her, but my mom stopped him, making her feel embarrassed. However, I could clearly sense his excitement. But even though I saw his excitement, for the first three or four days after he arrived, besides preparing water for my mom to wash her feet—though that only happened one day—he didn't do anything substantial.
Then, on Sunday night that week, Lao Niu came back from home with some sweet potatoes, and we roasted them in the ashes. After roasting the sweet potatoes, we washed up and went to bed. Around midnight—I don't know what time it was now, maybe one or two in the morning—I woke up to hear noises in the room: panting, whispering, and the bed creaking. I reached out and Lao Niu was gone; the blankets were still slightly warm. I knew he must have succeeded,
because my mom hadn't called out. Looking back now, it's scary. What if my mom hadn't wanted to? If she'd screamed when Lao Niu got on top of her, it would have been a real problem. So I crawled over and lifted a corner of the curtain. I could see two people moving on top of each other in my mom's bed. A little while later, I could see clearly: Lao Niu was on top of my mom. Both of their upper bodies were exposed, their
lower bodies covered by the blanket. Both of them were naked from the waist up. When I was sleeping, Lao Niu was wearing a vest, and my mom was wearing a thermal undershirt. I don't know when Lao Niu had stripped them naked. Lao Niu was grabbing my mom's arm, trying to press it against the pillow. My mom was resisting him with all her might. Because her upper body was naked, you could see her breasts shaking violently in front of her chest when she struggled, like two water bags, her nipples twitching. Both of them were panting, and there was a lot of movement under the blanket. I guessed my mom was kicking her legs.
At that moment, I heard Lao Niu whisper to my mom, "Juan, listen to me, don't move." My mom's voice was both angry and anxious, but she tried to keep it as low as possible, saying, "Get off, get off now." The two of them were locked in a struggle. Old Niu said again, "Don't make a sound, don't make a sound, stay still." My mom said, "Stop
it, get off now." You see, my mom is a woman, while Old Niu was used to doing chores since childhood. Finally, Old Niu forced my mom's hand to the edge of the pillow. My mom got really anxious and started kicking him, saying, "Stop it, I'm really going to scream!" As soon as she finished speaking, Old Niu grunted, took a breath, and then my mom let out a soft "Ah!" and stopped moving, her legs stopped kicking, and the bed became quiet.
After a while, Old Niu started moving again, and as soon as he moved, my mom let out another "Ah!" Old Niu quickly covered my mom's mouth, saying, "Don't make a sound." My mom struggled to break free from his hand, saying, "No, I'm going to scream, I can't take it anymore." Old Niu then picked up something from the side, probably my mom's underwear or vest or something—he didn't see clearly—and stuffed it into my mom's mouth. Then, while moving, he said, "Juan, don't make a sound, I'll be done in a bit." After a while, he let go of my mother's hand, and my mother stopped pushing him away. He had just pressed my mother's hand against the pillow, and although he let go, my mother's hand remained in that position, motionless. He pressed down on my mother, panting and moving, his hands starting to knead my mother's breasts like kneading steamed buns, saying as he kneaded, "Juan, you're so good,
Juan, I love you so much, I'm so happy, so comfortable, Juan, I've wanted you for more than just a day or two, I'm so happy." My mother couldn't make a sound because her mouth was stuffed with something, she could only hum softly. He also sucked on my mother's nipples while he was fucking her. My mother hummed and moaned, but Lao Niu didn't care at all, just kept talking nonsense, his lower body tightly fucking her. After about ten minutes, he suddenly lifted his upper body off my mother, his hands grabbing my mother's breasts tightly, making my mother groan even though her mouth was stuffed. He let out a low growl from his throat, and then collapsed on my mother. Then she just kept panting.
After a while, Lao Niu finally rolled off my mom, took the thing out of her mouth, and tried to pull her into his arms. My mom pushed him away and lay there panting. He even leaned in to talk to her, asking, "Juan, does it hurt?" (As an aside, I've seen Lao Niu's penis before.
When we urinate together, it's dark and thick. I've never seen it erect, but when it's flaccid, I'd estimate it's about five inches.) I guess my mom was really hurt by him, and since she wasn't really prepared for this, she was a bit flustered. He kept shamelessly leaning in, which really annoyed my mom. She pushed him aside, rolled over so her face was facing me, and her back was to Lao Niu. I was so startled that my hand trembled, and I quickly pulled down the curtain. I don't know if my mom saw it, but then I heard her start crying.
Soft sobs, and then I heard Lao Niu's voice. I thought to myself, "This feels just like those villains on TV raping innocent women." When Lao Niu was having sex with my mom, he was like a completely different person. He was spouting sweet nothings that he wouldn't normally say, but he was all sweet talk in bed. The curtains were drawn at that point, so I couldn't hear very well. Then, lying on my side, I heard my mom crying softly and Lao Niu talking quietly. After that, I felt really embarrassed, so I touched my penis a few times under the covers and ejaculated. Then I drifted off to sleep.
I had no idea what happened after that. When I woke up the next day, they were both gone. It was already past seven o'clock, well past morning reading time, and no one woke me up. I quickly got up, washed my face, got dressed, and went to morning reading. When I entered the classroom, my mom glanced at me but didn't say anything.
Then I went to my seat next to mine, and Lao Niu didn't even look at me, just staring at his book. That day, I felt like my mom was completely unaffected, but Lao Niu seemed a bit unsettled. When I got back to the dorm that night, I found Lao Niu had already moved out. I assumed my mom had kicked him out, so I didn't dare ask her. However, a few years later, when I asked Lao Niu, he said he moved out on his own. He admitted he felt guilty; my mom ignored him the next morning, and he was terrified, so he moved out that afternoon. But that's another story.
I was also scared, afraid my mom would blame me. Lao Niu seemed a bit dazed for days. I considered giving up, but I was unwilling to give up, so I pretended not to know anything. A few days later, I told my mom, "How about letting Lao Niu come back?"
I didn't mention him moving out. I said it was too cold for him to care about his pride. My mom said, "I don't care. Let him come back if he wants. It's up to you." I felt my mom might have tacitly agreed, so I went to find Lao Niu again. He absolutely refused to come back. Later, I got impatient and told him my mom said she didn't care if he came back or not. Then he probably understood something.
He stopped arguing with me and moved back with me. Actually, I was a little uneasy at that time, afraid that something might happen again and my mother would get really angry. I didn't sleep well for the first three nights, and then I woke up on the fourth night and he wasn't there again. But this time there was no creaking or breathing, just whispering, and I couldn't make out what they were saying.
I only found out what happened a few years later from Lao Niu.
When I peeked through the corner of the curtain, they were in the same bed, but they were covered up tightly and didn't move. Lao Niu said that he was actually terrified, but he couldn't hold it in. He missed my mother so much that after a few days he moved to my mother's place. At first, my mother told him to go back to sleep and come back to my place, but he refused to leave and insisted on talking to my mother. My mother was at her wit's end, so she had to respond with a few words, hoping he would finish talking and leave, but once he started talking, he couldn't stop. As they talked, they fell asleep in each other's arms.
The following night, he climbed over again and talked to my mom. By then, my mom was much calmer, and he started talking more. I'd never heard him talk so much except when he was in my mom's bed. Although I couldn't understand what he was saying, I later asked him if they had done it that night. He said they were just talking nonsense, talking about family, rural life, and other things. Because my mom had also lived in the countryside when she was little, she could talk about it too. They talked for three nights in total, and only did it happen again on the fourth night.
When I woke up this time, they were talking. I was too lazy to listen to them and
was about to go back to sleep when I suddenly heard my mom's bed creak, followed by Lao Niu's rapid breathing. My heart skipped a beat; I felt something was up, but I didn't dare to look. Then I heard the bed frame creak and the blankets shake, and Lao Niu started calling my mom's nickname again. I wanted to see my mom's reaction, so I quietly lifted the corner of the curtain, closed one eye, and peeked through the other. I saw Lao Niu on top of my mom again, grabbing her wrists and pulling them apart like last time, his mouth constantly trying to kiss her face. My mom kept turning her head to avoid him,
struggling and whispering impatiently, "You're doing it again, aren't you annoying? Stop it." Lao Niu, panting, said, "Juan, don't move, let me kiss you." He turned his head back and forth following my mom's face, finally managing to get her mouth, and immediately pressed it against hers, making loud kissing noises. My mom just hummed softly through her nose, no longer resisting with her arms. After kissing for
a while, Lao Niu was done, and released my mom's mouth. My mom, panting, said, "Are you trying to suffocate me? I've let you kiss me, okay? Get off now." Lao Niu didn't say anything, still on top of my mom, and put his hand under the covers. My mom panicked and put her hand under the covers to stop him, and the two of them struggled for a while under the covers. Old Niu suddenly stirred, exhaled, and my mother made a soft "hmm" sound. Then they both fell still. Old Niu reached his hand out from under the covers and began to remove my mother's thermal underwear.
As mentioned before, my mother didn't like wearing a bra; she usually only wore a white tank top underneath. This time, Old Niu hadn't even had time to remove her clothes before he reached inside, and my mother's upper body was still covered. But with one hand, Old Niu quickly rolled up my mother's top, thermal underwear, and tank top together, under her armpits, exposing her breasts. My mother didn't stop him at all while he was doing this, lying there motionless.
Only when he placed his hand on my mother's breasts and started moving his lower body did my mother pull her hand out from under the covers and symbolically push his hand away from her breasts. When he couldn't budge it, she stopped pushing. After a few thrusts, my mother probably couldn't take it anymore. She covered her mouth with her hand, turned her face towards the wall, and kept moaning and groaning with Lao Niu's movements. Several times, I felt like she wanted to scream but was trying to suppress the sound. As Lao Niu moved, he lowered his head to kiss my mother's face, and she didn't avoid him anymore.

This time, Lao Niu lasted a little longer than last time. Near the end,
he still grabbed my mother's breasts tightly with both hands, thrusting his lower body violently, and kept moaning "Juan Juan Juan Juan." Finally, he straightened his back, froze, squeezed out a low growl from his throat, and ejaculated. Then he lay motionless on top of my mother. After a while, he rolled off, pulled the blanket over both of them, buried his head under the blanket, and talked to my mother. This time, I really couldn't hear anything. So I lowered the curtain and went back to my pillow, and unintentionally found that I was hard again. I was just about to masturbate to release some tension
when I suddenly heard my mom's bed move, followed by the sound of the blanket being pulled back. I was so scared I froze. Then I heard Lao Niu's voice say, "Juan, where are you going?" My mom replied impatiently, "Oh, I'm going to wash up." Then I heard her putting on her shoes and getting out of bed. Lao Niu said, "Wash what? Come on up, it's cold outside." My mom got even more impatient and said, "Shut your mouth! If you don't wash up and we have a baby, you'll be old Lao Niu's wife!" Only then did she stop talking. I risked pulling the curtain back a little and saw my mom take the basin off the washstand, pour some hot water into it from the thermos, and then
scoop some cold water from the tub and pour it in. She then squatted down and started washing herself with her hands. I didn't dare watch any longer, so I lowered the curtain and quietly moved back inside. After a while, my mom finished washing, poured the water into the chamber pot, put the basin back, and then I heard her taking off her shoes and getting into bed again. Although the two of them were still talking afterwards, I couldn't hear them anymore.
From that day on, Lao Niu would come over and do it every two or three days. At first, I would wake up, but later I got used to it and couldn't hear the bed creaking. I would sleep until dawn. This continued until winter break. They all thought I didn't know.
Soon after, winter break and the Lunar New Year came. After winter break and the start of the new semester, Lao Niu stayed in our room for a few more days before moving back to the boys' dormitory. Mainly because winter was over, and he was afraid people would say he was close to me and taking advantage of me. I had no idea whether they did it or not during that time. Then, before May Day, the day before the holiday, my mom suddenly called me to the dormitory.
By then, I was no longer living in my mom's dormitory, but in the boys' dormitory with Lao Niu. My mom called me over at noon, and there were almost no people on campus. My mom told me to sit down and said, "Mom wants to talk to you about something, so keep your voice down." I said, "Okay." My mom asked me, "What do you think of Lao Niu?" I said, "He's pretty good." My mom said, "Then I want to talk to you about something, so don't be angry."
I said, "What's there to be angry about? Tell me." My mom said, "Look, we've been here for so long, and we don't know anyone here. It's all thanks to Lao Niu's help; I think he's a really good guy. But, as a woman, there are some things I just can't do, and I can't rely on you. Lao Niu has been so good to us, taking such good care of us. I originally thought of him as my own son, and
I never intended anything to be intimate with him, but these things are beyond my control. I hope you can understand me. What's done is done, and I hope you won't be angry." Then my mom asked me if I understood what she meant. Actually, I knew what she meant from the beginning, so I said, "I know, it's okay. Lao Niu is my good brother. I won't say anything if you're close to him."

Then what my mom said next shocked me. She said, "You don't understand, you didn't hear me. I'm telling you, prepare yourself." Mom was pregnant. I couldn't help but gasp. Looking back now,
it's not surprising at all. When my mom came, she never imagined she'd have sex with another man here. She didn't take any precautions. There's a clinic in the village, but my mom was too afraid to go there for medicine or condoms, afraid of being recognized. The town is dozens of miles away, and my mom couldn't walk that far, plus she was too busy teaching to go. Lao Niu always ejaculated inside her during sex, so my mom could only use washing to prevent pregnancy, which was completely unreliable; pregnancy was inevitable.
After I let out a sound, my mom said, "Don't say 'ah,' listen to me." But I didn't listen to her at all. I stupidly asked, "Lao Niu's?" My mom's face immediately fell, and she said, "Of course! Whose is it if not his?" I said, "Then go get an abortion! Why are you telling
me this? You have to tell him, have him go with you to get an abortion." Then my mom said, "Don't worry about that. He knows. I told him. He already knows. Let me continue."
"Speak after you've finished." Then my mom said, "I originally wanted to have an abortion, but I told Lao Niu first. After all, you're carrying someone else's child. If you're going to have an abortion, you should let people know first. That's basic morality." I said I understood. But Lao Niu didn't know what to do at first. When I said I wanted an abortion, he agreed. I originally planned to have the abortion during the May Day holiday,
but the day before yesterday, he changed his mind and wouldn't let me have it anymore. He wanted me to give birth to the child. I told him it was impossible. I have a man and a child. How could I give birth to your child? Besides, people would laugh at me for being so old. I'm not from this area, so it doesn't matter. You're young, and you still need to get married. You have to have some self-respect." Then he said he wouldn't get married. He only wanted me. He told me that everyone knows his family's situation. There's no way any woman would want to be with him or marry him. He only asked me to be with him, to give birth to the child, and to carry on his family line. Later, his pleading made my mom very worried. Mom knew his family's situation; there was no way any young woman would be willing to marry him.
Seeing such a good young man forced to remain a bachelor because of poverty was unbearable for her. Besides, she had seen many poor bachelors in the village when she was young, and their lives were truly miserable. Thinking about it made her feel terrible. His words made her feel sorry for him too. This child in her womb was their family's only hope for carrying on the family line. If she aborted it, she didn't know how heartbroken the child would be, perhaps even mentally ruined.
Then I told Mom what she wanted to do. To be honest, I could hear my own voice trembling. I said it was a clever move; if Dad hadn't been working on railway projects all year round,

Mom wouldn't have had the courage. Dad only comes home once or twice a year. After I asked Mom, she said her thought was to keep the baby. Mom calculated that it was almost five months along. She was wearing loose clothes to cover herself; anyway, I'm chubby, so it wouldn't be noticeable. After summer vacation, when all the students went home, Mom planned to hold a wedding banquet with him. I immediately exclaimed, "If you're going to have a baby, why hold a banquet?
Are you worried people won't know?" Mom said, "Well, I'm having his child, so I need some kind of status. Otherwise, what does the baby mean, and what am I? We're not getting a marriage certificate anyway, so a banquet is just a symbolic gesture to establish a status." I was really dumbfounded this time. Seeing that I didn't say anything, Mom said, "Don't rush,

this is just my plan. But I need your opinion first. If you don't agree, I don't care what he does, I'll get an abortion and never see him again. I'm just waiting for your word. Think about it, don't rush." Actually, at that time, I already knew that I had no choice but to agree. The deed was done, and Mom had thought it through so thoroughly, which meant she had seriously considered it. So the next day, I told Mom that I agreed. Then Mom told me that they had discussed it, and if I agreed, Mom and Lao Niu would go to his parents' house to meet them this May Day. When asked if I was going, I said no. My mom left me some money to feed myself for the next few days, and then she dressed up and went to meet Lao Niu's parents.
Actually, I had been to Lao Niu's house before. If I hadn't, I might have gone with him. But since I had been there, I felt it wouldn't be worth it, and his house was small and gloomy, so I wouldn't have anywhere to sleep. I spent three days at school alone. Then, on the third day, my mom and Lao Niu came back, carrying some things his mom had given them. They seemed quite happy. Anyway, my mom and Lao Niu's marriage was settled.
With two months left in the semester, my mom's belly started to swell rapidly. Summer clothes were thin, and even loose ones couldn't hide my mom's belly and breasts; she looked five or six months pregnant. And when two people are together, no matter how much they try to hide it, it's inevitable that some clues will show. Gradually, rumors about my mom and Lao Niu started circulating at school.
At first, it was among the faculty and staff, but later it spread among the students as well. The boys were alright, but the girls, in their gossip-loving way, would often huddle together and secretly laugh at me and Lao Niu

. Eventually, I got used to it, but the principal couldn't stand it anymore. My mom probably said something to the principal, and he called a meeting with the staff, forbidding them from spreading these rumors. He mainly reasoned with them. First, my mom wasn't a bad person; she did it out of sympathy for Lao Niu. Everyone knew about his family situation—if my mom didn't marry him, he wouldn't be able to find a wife. We've all lived here for so long, we should understand. He had some sympathy. Second, my mom was a rare good teacher at the school, and there were several promising students in this graduating class.
If this got out and got me transferred, it would ruin the entire class. You know how rural schools are—the teaching conditions and teachers aren't great, not many students can get into top schools, and a good teacher is hard to find. Thirdly, if this matter escalates too much, parents in impoverished mountain villages are already reluctant to send their children to school. If it blows up, they'll have even more reason to keep their children away. A high dropout rate would put the school behind in the county, affecting funding allocations, policies, and even teachers' bonuses—all these practical issues would be impacted.
So, keeping quiet and not making a fuss wasn't just for their sake, but also for the school's own. The principal then instructed the teachers to convey this message to the students, especially since they actually wanted to go to school because it meant not having to do chores. This last point was crucial; nobody wanted to be taken home by their parents to do chores. So after the meeting, no one in the school, whether students or staff, spread these rumors anymore. #$^*wetsdfxvopl

I mentioned our class monitor earlier. My mom had a severe reaction at that time; she would often run out to vomit in class. Whenever she did, our class monitor would run out to help her. You can imagine how young we were back then, and she already knew how to take care of her. Later, the girls followed suit, and whenever my mom vomited, about two or three female class leaders would go out with her. It was a coincidence that my dad only came home for three days that summer and didn't have time to come over; my mom just said she was tutoring the graduating class and got away with it.

After summer vacation started in July, my mom stayed at the principal's house, looked after by the principal's wife. Then, Lao Niu's family prepared for the wedding banquet. Later, on the 20th of the eighth lunar month that year, my mom left the principal's house. The day before the wedding, all the girls in our class came over,

plastering the principal's house with "double happiness" characters everywhere, and surrounding my mom, asking her all sorts of questions and chatting. I felt embarrassed to stay inside with them, so the next morning, my mom, wearing a red dress and a red veil, heavily pregnant, got into the bridal sedan chair hired by Lao Niu's family. Lao Niu's aunt came to fetch the bride. Then, the principal's wife, being part of the bride's family,
went with me to see her off. By the way, riding in a sedan chair wasn't about being old-fashioned or any particular custom; it was mainly because the mountain roads were impassable by vehicles. In our area, outside the mountains, there are convoys of cars, but here it's sedan chairs. I won't go into the specifics of the procedure. When we arrived at their house, there was a firecracker ceremony and a wedding ceremony with heaven and earth. There were only four tables set up in total. After the ceremony and entering the bridal chamber, I slept at their neighbor's house. Anyway, my mom was nine months pregnant at that time. It wasn't that she didn't want to get married sooner, but the date chosen by the fortune teller was the only suitable one. The next morning, we said goodbye and left.

My mom and Lao Niu stayed at Lao Niu's house for a week before returning to school. When they came back, they had another four-table banquet at the principal's house as a return visit. Actually, Lao Niu's mother wanted my mom to stay at their house until she gave birth, but my mom's reasons were twofold: firstly, she was teaching a graduating class, and
secondly, staying at the school would be closer to the township health center, making it more convenient to give birth than staying at their house. Actually, from this point on, my mom and her mother-in-law started having some disagreements. Later, on the day my mom was about to give birth, she was writing lesson plans the night before, and then she started having contractions in the middle of the night. She was taken to the township health center the next morning and gave birth in less than half an hour. While we were taking my mother to the health center, we asked one of Lao Niu's village kids to run back and tell Lao Niu's mother the news. Lao Niu's mother brought a can of chicken soup in the afternoon, but when she heard that it was a girl, her face immediately fell, and she went straight back without even entering the ward.
Lao Niu and I coaxed my mom by saying it was far away and that my mother-in-law would come the next day. Luckily, she did come the next day, but the chicken soup was gone, so she just brought some eggs and then routinely took care of my mom during her postpartum period. My mom spent her postpartum period at the principal's wife's house, and only moved to the school dormitory after her confinement. Lao Niu's mother moved there too. Lao Niu used to live with my mom, but now he's gone back to the boys' dormitory with me. My mom was 43 at the time, and Lao Niu's mother was 41. Back then, some kids were clueless and would try to peek through my mom's dormitory window, but Lao Niu's mother always chased them away.
During winter break, my mom and I had to go back home, leaving the baby with my mother-in-law. The principal's wife helped find a folk remedy to stop lactation, and my mom took a few doses, afraid my dad would find out. But I think my dad probably noticed something, though he didn't say anything, since having a baby makes a noticeable difference in one's body. We finally managed to get through the New Year, managing to keep it from my dad, and then winter break ended and school started again. This was Lao Niu and I's last semester; we were graduating from junior high. My mom didn't teach for the second half of last semester because of childbirth, so she came back to teach the graduating class. On the first day of the new semester,
the class monitor led the whole class in standing up and applauding to welcome my mom. She had taken medication to stop lactation, so her milk supply had dried up, but otherwise, teaching while breastfeeding would have been too much for her. Lao Niu's mom never left; she only went back for the Lunar New Year, and then came back after the semester started, since conditions here are better. That's when things got out. My dad suddenly showed up during the May Day holiday and
cornered my mom, Lao Niu, the kids, and his mom in the house. I had no idea. When I arrived, the principal and his people had already dragged my dad out of the house. As he was being dragged out, he cursed my mom for being shameless, and when he saw me, he accused me of being a traitor, and he also cursed the principal and everyone at the school. He was dragged out of the campus while cursing. My mom didn't dare see him after that. I didn't dare go into the principal's office either; only my dad, the principal, and a few teachers were in the principal's office. I don't know what the principal said to him, but he managed to get rid of him. A few days later, my mom went back home and told me that she and my dad had divorced. Except for a house in the county town registered in my mom's name, everything else went to my dad, and I stayed with my mom. Since I was a traitor, my dad definitely wouldn't want me.

After the divorce, my mom prioritized the graduating class. Later, three students from our graduating class got into provincial key high schools, the best result in the class's history. I got into a regular high school, while Lao Niu didn't get into any. Since my mom was divorced, she didn't go back home much that summer. Lao Niu couldn't continue his studies and rented a place near the school. Someone in the village owned a brick factory, and Lao Niu worked there. My mom moved out of the school dormitory to live with Lao Niu.
That summer, except for a trip back to the county town to prepare my high school things, I spent the rest of the time in the village with Lao Niu, and the children were sent back to Lao Niu's mother's house. For a while, I called my mom "sister-in-law." She scolded me, and I said, "You're my brother's woman. What else can I call you if I don't call you sister-in-law? I don't care what she says." I insisted on calling her that, which eventually angered her, and she almost turned on me. So I stopped calling her that.
But this didn't last long. When I went to high school, I went home to see my mom during the National Day holiday. Actually, it wasn't really a homecoming anymore; my home was in the county town, and I was going to the village, which was my mom's home. Then, that bastard Lao Niu secretly told me that he had gotten my mom pregnant again, a full year away from giving birth. I was furious and cursed at him. My mom stopped me from cursing, and I almost got into a fight with her too. Later, I gradually realized
that my mom was also angry with Lao Niu's mom. Lao Niu's mom was resentful that my mom hadn't given birth to a son. She always acted like a mother-in-law to my mom. With nothing to do, she'd keep muttering about how great it would be if it were a grandson, which made my mom decide to just get pregnant again. She figured one child was one thing, two were another, so she was pretty much resigned to it. But at that time, it wasn't confirmed; it was just a possibility, since her period hadn't come the previous month. Later, when I came back for the New Year, it was confirmed she was pregnant. This time it was much easier than the last; the students at school had all changed, and no one gossiped anymore.
Later, when I went back to see my mom after the second semester of my first year of high school, during the summer vacation of that year, she had given birth again—this time it was a boy. Old Niu's mom finally shut up. I had to take care of her for another half a month during her postpartum period; it was awful. I'll just briefly recount what happened after that. Anyway, this time I didn't have to worry about my dad. My mom breastfed the baby until he was weaned. When the baby was weaned, my mom's teaching assignment was over, and she managed to get transferred back to the city,
but not to the county's top high school anymore; she got a job at the county's second-best high school. After that, Lao Niu followed my mother to the city. My mother taught, while he worked odd jobs, leaving his children in the village to be raised by his mother. Later, my mother felt that Lao Niu's constant working wasn't sustainable, so she found someone to enroll him in a technical school. He learned to be an electrician. Originally, my mother wanted him to go to the vocational education center in the city,
but Lao Niu's mother was afraid that if Lao Niu didn't watch over her, she would run away, so she insisted on attending the technical school in our county, coming home every night and not living on campus. Two years later, after graduating, Lao Niu was just the right age, so he and my mother went to get their marriage certificate. My mother was officially married to Lao Niu. On the day they got their certificate, my mother invited a few relatives and friends to sit together, and that was about it. Lao Niu worked in plumbing and electrical work, while my mother continued teaching. Later, when their two children were four or five years old, they were brought from their grandmother's house to attend kindergarten in the city. Now, both children are in elementary school.
After graduating from university, I also returned to the county and worked at the county environmental protection bureau. But I usually live in the Environmental Protection Bureau's dormitory and only go home on weekends. When I do go home, my two kids call me "brother" and Lao Niu "Dad." Sometimes I jokingly call my mom "sister-in-law," and she doesn't seem too bothered. But I still prefer Lao Niu calling my mom "Juan." Before, my dad never called my mom by her nickname; when he needed to call her, he'd just say "Hey!" or "Hi!" Now, every time I hear Lao Niu call my mom "Juan," I think of what happened that night.

[The End]

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How to Become a Stepfather (Short Story) by Ma Xiufeng

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