Do you prefer it braised or steamed?

1. One of my roommates got her period and was lying in bed in terrible pain. Another silly roommate went over and put her hand on her stomach. We thought she was going to rub it, but instead, she pressed hard on her stomach and said, "I'm helping you force the blood out!"
2. In a serious criminal prison, all sorts of criminals were incarcerated.
A strong black man asked a skinny white man: "Dude, I'm in here for robbery. How did you get in?
" The white man replied: "I'm in because I only like white women!
" The black man said: "Only like white women? Did someone accuse you of racial discrimination? Hehe, to be honest, I like white women too!
" The white man happily said: "Really? So, do you prefer them braised or steamed?"
3. I've been dating my girlfriend for three months, and she's never let me kiss her. Yesterday, I mustered up the courage to force a kiss on her, and she pushed me away forcefully, saying, "Could you be any more indecent?" So I stripped her naked. Unexpectedly, today she asked to do it again!
4. My boyfriend and I rent separate apartments. One day I went to his place, and he asked me, "Aren't you feeling suffocated?" I said, "No, it's fine." He said, "Yeah, you have a male landlord there, right?" I instinctively blurted out, "He's no good!!!" My boyfriend was instantly stunned... Oh no... This is a big problem!!!
5. Tonight, I encountered a DUI checkpoint. The traffic cop came over, I rolled down the window, and asked, "Have you had a little to drink?" I said, "Yes," and then I took all sorts of tests, and the results were all negative. The traffic cop asked me, "Didn't you say you had a little to drink?" I said I had some porridge, I said I hadn't drunk any alcohol, and then I walked away nonchalantly, concealing my accomplishment!
6. A few brothers were drinking today. One guy said he had a cold, had an IV drip of cephalosporin, and couldn't drink, it would kill him. After drinking a few bottles of mineral water, he couldn't take it anymore, threw down the bottle, and shouted, "Give me a beer! Damn it, I don't care anymore, I never intended to leave this world alive!" Everyone was stunned.
7. I was lost in the desert, my mouth dry. Finally, I saw water dripping from a crack in a rock, and hurriedly stuck out my tongue to catch it. Suddenly, I heard my wife calling, "Honey, wake up! Wake up! Our son wet the bed, it's splashed all over your face, and you're still not awake? You're sleeping so soundly!"
8. My teacher said I have a low IQ. I gave the teacher a question. I've been standing in the corner for a week. Me: Your grandfather and your grandmother go into the bridal chamber. Guess a four-character idiom. Teacher: There's good news at home. Me: Wrong. Teacher: What is it? Me: Fuck your grandma... Call your mom over after class.
9. This morning I went to the botanical garden. An old man was selling mice for 30 yuan each. He wanted me to buy one and release it, saying it would wash away my sins from my past life. Thinking it wasn't expensive, I bought one and released it. As soon as I left, I heard the old man whistle. Damn, the mouse came running back! Wow! The mouse is so obedient! Can I call the police?
10. A friend of mine. Usually, kids learn to say "mama" first, but his wife always taught the child to say "dada." And sure enough, the child learned to say "dada." Then... at night, when crying, pooping, peeing, or feeling uncomfortable, he just kept calling "dada!" I can only say, buddy, hurry up and teach the child to say "mama."
11. Nicky Wu was born in 1970, and Liu Shishi in 1987. When Nicky Wu was in college, Liu Shishi was still in kindergarten. Today, I passed by a kindergarten and had this feeling that a lively little girl inside was my future wife. I'm so jealous!
12. On my wedding day, I cried tears of joy: "Auntie, don't worry, I will definitely take good care of your daughter." "Still calling me 'Auntie'?" I quickly corrected myself: "Wife, I will definitely take good care of you and our daughter!"
13. This morning, I saw a guy wearing shorts standing at the entrance of the building, looking at the snowflakes on the ground, and said, "Holy crap, it's winter already!"
14. I'm a girl, and there's a really cowardly male classmate in my class. Once, we argued in class, and I angered him. He wouldn't dare hit me, and he couldn't out-argue me either. In his haste, he reached into his pants and rubbed his penis, then took it out and smelled it, saying it smelled like strawberries. I burst out laughing, and he immediately covered my mouth with that hand. My mouth!

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Do you prefer it braised or steamed?

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