[05-30] 【The Ambiguous Relationship Between Upper and Lower Bunks in a Crazy First Love】Author: horrorbin

My first year of work was busy, so I didn't go back home this summer. But in my midnight dreams, I returned to our beautiful campus, to the infinitely beautiful days of my youth ten years ago, to our once intimately connected bunk beds.

I can't even remember who slept on the top bunk when we graduated and left campus. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that we once shared those narrow bunk beds in the university dormitory, and our relationship went from ambiguous to even more ambiguous. I think my roommates knew about our relationship, but they didn't criticize or be harsh on us excessively, for which I am still very grateful! I'll definitely treat them to a good meal sometime, but such opportunities seem rare. Six years have passed since we graduated, and three of my roommates are already married, but we've never all gotten together since we parted ways in 2000 when the hibiscus flowers were in bloom!

Although I don't remember who got the upper and lower bunks when we graduated, I'll always clearly remember that when we first arrived in that beautiful city and stepped into the green campus, I had the lower bunk and you had the upper bunk. You were above me, and I was below you!

The
rumbling of the train wheels accompanied me as I slept through sleepless nights. It was my first time taking such a long train ride. At first, I was quite excited, but then it became increasingly boring. Finally, an hour after sunset, our train screeched to a halt at the final stop. The dazzling neon lights in the station square instantly filled me with affection and anticipation for the city where I would be living for the next four years!
Sitting on the school's shuttle bus for new students, weaving through this city with its sea breeze, thinking about how I would live and play in this romantic and beautiful city, my excitement returned! Every time we passed a pretty street corner, I wondered, "Is our school here?" But every time, the bus just missed it! After about half an hour, the scenery outside the window became increasingly desolate, and the road started to bump. Oh my god, the city was receding from me—could it be in the suburbs?! The streetlights outside the window went out, leaving everything pitch black. After a while, the shuttle bus finally pulled into the campus.
As I stepped off the bus carrying my bags, a deafening roar startled me. Then I heard many people shouting, "Look, look! An airplane!"
I looked up in the direction of the voices, and wow! A huge airplane was flying overhead, just taking off and climbing steadily. The indicator lights on its wings were flashing—it was so beautiful! My mood instantly lifted.
Because it was late, I quickly checked in at our department's reception area and headed straight to my dormitory with my luggage.
Dormitory 4, yes, Dormitory 4! At the time, it looked unremarkable, even a bit dilapidated. It was here that I met him, and began my first love—a love that once drove me crazy, then broke my heart, and still haunts my dreams! Now, every time I return to that city, to that campus, Dormitory 4 is an important place where I always stand in the bushes below, gazing at it and reminiscing!

I arrived at the dormitory not too early, but not too late either. Because I noticed that in our six-person dorm, three beds looked occupied, while the other three were empty. I stopped in front of the bed with my name on it, by the window, the lower bunk. I glanced at the note on the upper bunk above me, "Fengzi." Looking at this unfamiliar name, I imagined what such a dashing name would mean to someone! His bed was already covered with luggage, and a jersey was tossed aside. It seemed he had arrived, but I wondered where he was now.
I tidied up my bed; it was already past nine o'clock at night. I grabbed a quick bite and returned to the dorm. One of my roommates had already returned. He lived in the upper bunk opposite me, wore glasses, and looked quite refined. He was our dorm's infamous "Buddha," also known as the "wine-and-meat monk"! He had religious beliefs, though I didn't know at first. We exchanged a simple greeting, and I washed up and went to sleep.

II.
Last summer, I returned to that beautiful campus once again, a place filled with memories. Now, for me, the most precious thing isn't him, but the tender time we spent together. Walking through this campus, every step, every building bears witness to our presence. Teaching buildings, laboratories, the library, the stadium, the football field, Yushan Mountain… seeing all of these makes me feel like I've returned to the past, back to the days when we were close together.
But I can't help but marvel at how rapidly our country's economy has developed in recent years. In this open city, new changes happen every day. The area around our school is no longer desolate; upscale residential areas have sprung up, and the roads are excellent. However, airplanes, still just across the street and a wall from our school, still roar and land every day, adding a unique spectacle to the lives of our students.

I got up early the next day because there were many enrollment procedures to complete. I remember that our school's joint office was located in the clubhouse. It was southwest of our Building 4; just walk straight down the road from our building, and you'll reach it. While processing my household registration, I heard the staff call the person in front of me "Fengzi." I was startled, and when he turned around, I felt a shiver run down my spine! His eyes were bright and piercing. Perhaps he noticed me staring at him, so he smiled at me. While the smile wasn't breathtakingly beautiful, it was undeniably captivating. That smile sealed our fate, leading to years of complicated relationships! I had intended to tell him we were roommates, even sharing bunk beds. But looking at his smile, I was completely mesmerized, wanting only to admire him a little longer!
That evening, we met again in the dorm. He expressed his surprise dramatically! It seemed he, like me, was generally satisfied with his bunkmate! I suppose nobody wants an annoying bunkmate!
The start of the semester was military training. Everyone was exhausted from the intense training, and as soon as we got back to the dorm, we rushed to rest. So, during those twenty days of training, we barely interacted! The first time the six of us in the dorm sat down together for a meal and drinks was one evening after training ended.

To celebrate the end of training and provide an opportunity for everyone to socialize, we bought some side dishes, meat, and a few bottles of baijiu (Chinese liquor). Since none of us had much money, we didn't buy beer. But I'd never drunk baijiu before, so I got drunk after just a few cups. Perhaps because everyone had just left home and finished military training, their emotions were filled with longing for family, relief at the end of training, and anticipation for university life. Although no one knew each other's drinking capacity, everyone was sincere and self-disciplined, unlike now, where the table is full of deceit and treachery!
After a couple of cups, I felt a little lightheaded. Everyone was chatting about all sorts of things, and I drank a few more cups with them until I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know who helped me to my bed. I felt like I was floating in the air, swaying left and right in the wind. The worst part was the constant wind. After a while, I felt dizzy and nauseous, and I vomited. In my hazy state, I heard them say I'd drunk too much, that I really couldn't drink anymore, and someone fed me a couple of sips of water. After that, I knew nothing more. I

don't know how much time passed, but my head started to throb terribly, and I needed to go to the bathroom. I had absolutely no strength left. It took me a long time to recover before I could open my eyes. It was pitch black all around, and I had no idea what time it was; everyone was asleep. I struggled to get up, but my hand suddenly touched another person. Oh my god, who was this? Drunk and lying on my bed, their feet pointing towards me, on the other side of the bed. Never mind, I had to get to the bathroom first.
So I struggled to get up and shakily opened the door. Luckily, I hadn't forgotten where the bathroom was. After urinating, I washed my face and felt a little more awake. When I came back, in the light streaming in from the doorway, I saw that it was him sleeping in my bed!

I don't know why he's sleeping in my bed. Maybe he's drunk too, but looking at his peaceful sleeping face, I don't know whether to continue sleeping with him or wake him up. I really don't want to sleep with his smelly feet. (He's an athlete, very good at basketball and soccer, and also good at running. He just doesn't wash his socks often; every time he comes back from playing, he throws them under the bed and picks them up to borrow next time. So my bed is often surrounded by the smell of smelly feet. At first, I wasn't used to it and always made him wash them. He washed them once or twice and then refused to wash them anymore, saying he didn't smell anything. He said if I couldn't stand it, I should wash his socks. Of course, I didn't want to wash them either! Fortunately, after a long period of exposure, I got used to it! Haha, the environment really can change a person!) Suddenly, I noticed him; he was wearing tight-fitting athletic pants. The beautiful muscle lines of his legs were still faintly visible, and where his thighs crossed, there was a bulge that reminded me of a small mound. A curiosity to explore it drove me to want to see what was buried inside!
Good heavens, what's wrong with me! I suddenly realized I was being a bit inappropriate, but looking around at the darkness and hearing only soft, even breathing, I calmed down. It was just a thought, what's fashionable to call fantasizing? It wasn't illegal or against anyone, so what was wrong with it? Calming myself down, I decided to sleep with him anyway. But his head was tilted to the side, taking up the entire headboard, so it seemed I'd have to make do with sleeping next to his smelly feet.
Lying down, I couldn't fall asleep, thinking, "Wasn't I at a disadvantage? I have to get my revenge!" Suddenly, that bulging little mound flashed through my mind again! So, I sat up and stared at it. My hand seemed to lose control, gently landing on that little mound, overgrown with weeds inside and smooth on the outside! My movements were light and gentle, yet I could still feel its softness, its elasticity, its texture. Unconsciously, I increased the pressure in my hands, as if trying to feel its shape more acutely, to discern its essence. I was immersed in this tense and exciting bliss when suddenly he rolled over, and I landed hard on my bottom, the fall hurting me terribly! But I didn't dare make a sound, nor did I dare get up immediately. After two or three minutes, making sure no one had woken up and discovered what had happened, I quickly climbed into bed, tightly closed my eyes, pressed my hands under my body, and fell asleep without realizing it.

This was my first intimate encounter with him, and he still doesn't know any of it. In the years that followed, I had many urges to tell him, but I always felt it would make him think I was too dishonest, or that I had ulterior motives, deliberately luring him in. So I never revealed the secret. Actually, we were mutually attracted, because although I was interested, it was he who broke the ice first, even though he had a girlfriend at the time!

Thirdly,
to clarify the story, there are some things I need to explain, especially our political paths in school. We both held many positions in school, which determined the people we met and the specific events we encountered. It was these people and events that propelled our story forward.
When I first entered university, my class advisor appointed me as class monitor because my file stated I was the student council president in high school. I didn't want to do it, and I told my advisor that I had been a student leader too many times and didn't want to do it anymore; I wanted to focus on my studies. However, my advisor said I should be in charge temporarily because there were many things to do at the beginning of the semester, and the class needed someone in charge. After the military training, all class officers would be democratically elected at a class meeting—it was all for the benefit of everyone! Since they had put it that way, I couldn't say anything more. However, during the military training, other class officers were optional, but the sports committee member was absolutely necessary because we had to do morning exercises and training every day, and someone needed to assist the instructors. Obviously, I wasn't suitable, but my bunkmate was perfect for the job. As I expected, the homeroom teacher used the same method to make "Fengzi" the sports committee member. So, we had another reason to interact, and our full-fledged cooperation was about to begin.

Continuing from what I said earlier, when I woke up the next day, he was sitting by my bed drinking water. I got up, grabbed a basin, and went to wash my face. The whole movement was very smooth, but I didn't have the courage to look at him. He didn't say anything. I sat anxiously in my bedroom, wondering: Did he find out anything last night? Probably not. When I plopped down on the floor, I could tell he was still half asleep; he just turned over unintentionally. He couldn't be faking it! So, I tried to reassure myself, "It's okay, just pretend nothing happened. Only I know." Just then, *smack*, I felt a solid slap on my bottom. The shock almost made me jump out of the bathroom window. I looked in the mirror and saw a figure in a white tracksuit running towards the toilet. That bastard! It was him! I wanted to yell at the person who hit me, but I held back immediately. I felt guilty!
Unexpectedly, seeing that I didn't say anything, this guy poked his head out of the toilet again and mischievously said to me, "What are you thinking about, sticking your butt out like that? Did you lose your virginity last night?" Hearing this, I didn't dare to argue. I thought to myself, it wasn't me who lost my virginity, it was someone else.

Our dorm was on the shady side, a small room, so only six of us lived together. All six of us brothers were from Northeast China, which made us feel closer to each other in this unfamiliar environment, and we got along very well. Moreover, the only two class leaders were in our dorm, which they felt quite proud of. Back then, we were young and inexperienced. Looking back now, it's nothing! But that's how we thought back then, and we felt our dorm was glorious. Except for going to the toilet, almost everything was done as a group. In class, the six of us sat in the last row; we always brought our lunchboxes back to the dorm to eat; we never went to the classroom to study at night, instead, the six of us sat in the room playing cards. At that time, we felt especially happy being with the six of us. Now, thinking back, it was more about being able to openly go in and out with him!

The first semester is quickly coming to an end as we gradually become familiar with university life. Three things have left the deepest impression on us this semester:
First, our school is constantly plagued by tremendous noise. Because there's an airport in front of our school, planes are constantly taking off, and the booming sound makes the classroom windows rattle. Behind our school is a quarry that blasts rocks from the mountain every day. This is even more powerful; I heard that once, a blast sent rocks flying into our school's walls, but no one was injured. I also heard that another time, the blast shattered many windows in several buildings, and the quarry had to bring a whole truckload of glass to the school to replace them. These are all hearsay, and their veracity is uncertain. However, the blasting is indeed very loud; sometimes, sitting in the classroom or lying in bed in the dormitory, it feels like an earthquake.
Second: University is university, education is open. Two months after the start of the semester, the school club's cinema showed a special "sex education film" for us freshmen. The scene before entering was quite spectacular. Regardless of gender, everyone was in groups, chatting and laughing, without any shyness, striding confidently into the cinema! However, no one acted alone; the students were still quite innocent. Following the crowd, no one laughed at anyone! Without exception, when we watched the film, he and I sat very close together, but because we were both nervous, we both sat upright, not daring to tilt our heads, trying to remain calm and collected. After watching the so-called sex education film, we were covered in sweat. We pretended nothing was wrong. Later, after watching too much porn, I thought, what's the big deal? If there were anything real, the school wouldn't be so blatant in showing it! But back then, we were just that innocent. Not just the two of us, I believe 90% of the freshmen in that year were like that.
Third: University life is truly free; basically, no one cares. However, exams are truly cruel! They can catch you anytime, and fail you anytime! Fortunately, I managed to get by that semester thanks to my previous foundation, though I still got 60 points in two subjects. Later I found out that the teachers must have given me those extra points!
Actually, there's something else particularly significant about me: that night, after getting drunk, I committed a crime against him under the cover of darkness—grave robbing!

IV.
That's how it is in freshman year of college. Having just left home, no matter how I felt about home before, all I feel while at school is homesickness, missing my family, and a desperate longing to go home. When winter break finally arrives, the long journey home doesn't seem to satisfy that yearning and longing. After only a few days, I realize how much better school is—free and unrestrained. So, after the New Year, everyone is eager to return to school. I was one of the earlier ones. Despite my parents' repeated urging, I stubbornly bought my train ticket, waved goodbye, and boarded the train bound for the sea.
When I rushed back to my dorm and arrived at the door, I felt a pang of disappointment. The holiday seal on the door was still intact. I took out my key, unlocked the door, and found it quiet inside. It seemed I was the first one back. I thought to myself, "If I had known this would happen, I would have stayed home a couple more days." I made my bed and checked the time; it was almost noon. I was about to go out for lunch. The cafeteria food was probably bad during the holidays, and eating out alone wouldn't be fun! Just as I was lying in bed, hesitating, I heard someone knocking on my door. Thinking it was the dorm supervisor, I shouted, "Come in!" Immediately, a shout came from outside, and the door opened. "Idiot! Why are you back so early! I thought a thief had broken into our room!"
Hearing that voice, my blood rushed to my head. It really was him! I knew it; he couldn't stay home. But calling me "idiot" still felt awkward, so I replied, "Oh, you big idiot, why do you knock on your own door to get back to your room?" I took the things from his hands, feeling the chill he brought in, and everything felt so warm. "Idiot" became his unique nickname for me, and even now, when we meet or contact each other, he still calls me "idiot." And because of that, my QQ profile still says: I'm idiot, but I'm gentle!
After a few brief pleasantries, we decided to go out for dinner together. It's always good to have someone with me; I won't be bored alone, especially since it was him. So I happily declared that I would treat him to dinner. He didn't say anything, and we decided to have barbecue by the lake near the school gate.
Back when I was in college, there was a small pond near our school gate. It wasn't big, but everyone called it a lake, and there were even wild fish in it! But now that lake is gone; it's been filled in and houses have been built on it! Back then, there were many small restaurants near our school gate, mostly serving barbecue, and they were all delicious and inexpensive. Now, when I go back, hoping to recapture that feeling, I find that all those small restaurants have been demolished and are nowhere to be found!

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[05-30] 【The Ambiguous Relationship Between Upper and Lower Bunks in a Crazy First Love】Author: horrorbin

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