How to enhance marital sex life - Part 1

Part 1 of the "Couple's Sexual Exchange" series:
Pay Attention to Your Partner's "Sexual Investment"
If we compare the coordination of a couple's sex life to both partners investing in infrastructure, many might find it far-fetched. However, it's a rough but valid point. Everyone knows that "it takes two to tango," not only when conflicts arise but also when efforts are made to coordinate. If one party is always making efforts while the other remains indifferent, even the most patient person will eventually change course.
Sexual coordination between couples is like a two-person investment and construction company. The most important factor in the success of this partnership is whether what both parties invest and what they receive are roughly equivalent. No one wants to constantly lose out in a partnership, nor can they tolerate the other party always taking advantage.
However, many couples don't understand this simple principle. The most common mistake is that one partner fails to notice that the other has actually invested considerable effort in coordinating their sex life.
For example, one partner might prefer certain specific methods, while the other doesn't. When using these methods, the partner who enjoys it often overlooks the fact that the other partner's mere consent is already an investment and commitment. If the partner who enjoys it doesn't reciprocate with praise, gratitude, and consideration, the other partner will feel unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and unloved. Over time, even good couples will inevitably develop misunderstandings.
For example, when choosing when to have sex, one partner might feel it's natural, while the other feels forced and is paying a price. If the former doesn't understand and reciprocate in other ways, the latter will feel taken advantage of, even coerced or exploited. Over time, these small shadows accumulate, plunging the marriage into a period of hardship.
Mutual dedication and reciprocation in a couple's sex life are generally unspoken, rarely explicitly stated. However, this "exchange" does indeed exist, and precisely because the party making the sacrifice won't explicitly state it, the other party is more likely to overlook it and unintentionally hurt their feelings.
Many couples are ashamed to discuss sexual exchange, or even willing to understand and evaluate their sex life from an exchange perspective. But the more they do this, the less likely they are to recognize the sacrifices their partner makes, and the less likely they are to reciprocate, ultimately leading to disaster.
In reality, it's unlikely that either husband or wife will give nothing in their sex life, nor is it likely that they will expect nothing in return. The crucial first step in achieving harmonious marital sex life, in harmonious love between two mature individuals, is to clearly recognize the other person's sacrifices and contributions, and to value the immense significance of their sacrifices. Only then can there be a generous return, and only then can there be true bliss.

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How to enhance marital sex life - Part 1

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