Reprinted: My wife and I's story, I'll tell you slowly (7~12)

Sorry, I've been too busy for the past few days to finish this, so I'm making up for it today:
"My Wife and I's Story, Let Me Tell You Slowly"
Author: Jinghuayuan
Word Count: 65880 words
(Part 7)
Before continuing, I'd like to briefly mention Li Yinhe.
I don't know how many people have actually read Ms. Li Yinhe's writings. Currently, there's a constant stream of criticism against her online. I've read many articles criticizing her, and most of these criticisms focus on her role in disrupting marriages or family stability.
Everyone presents themselves as pure and noble Confucian gentlemen, loudly praising the beauty of marriage while completely negating Li Yinhe and her professional viewpoints from a moral standpoint.
Many people believe that both men and women should be faithful to their spouses and remain faithful until death.
—Here I declare that I completely agree with this view.
However, reality and ideals are often different.
Humans are complex, and this complexity stems from the complexity of human nature. Human nature isn't entirely good; there's also evil, and many indistinct things existing between good and evil.
For example, I still don't consider myself a bad person. But is it really that easy to distinguish between good and bad people?
When I betrayed my wife, to her, I was an absolute villain. But faced with the reality that I had become a villain, did my wife kill me? Or resolutely abandon the marriage? Was it a rational attempt to salvage the relationship, or a complete rejection?
I think every wise person wouldn't choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I've always been very confused by a crucial point held by those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe: they believe that having extramarital affairs is normal, as long as one is careful and doesn't let their spouse find out, it's a kind of benevolent deception.
I think if this idea were accepted by most people, how terrible the world would be: when faced with a wife's or husband's vows, you would have to think: isn't his or her declaration also a benevolent deception? As a husband, you can put yourself in her shoes: if your wife had already cheated on you, but she hid it well, so you didn't know, would you think this behavior was normal or not?
As a husband or wife, when faced with "open communication" and a seemingly foolproof "white lie
," which would you choose? If it were me, I would choose open communication. While betrayal is wrong compared to unwavering fidelity, a greater mistake is deception. The most heartbreaking aspect of a spouse's betrayal isn't the physical separation, but the emotional estrangement. —The devastating blow is when you suddenly discover that the person you trusted most has been deceiving you all along.
Many of Li Yinhe's articles help us recognize this more clearly. Therefore, those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe are not so much rejecting her as refusing to wake up, refusing to escape the quagmire of self-deception. Every married person can personally attest to this: marriage is a partnership, a joint effort. Many things cannot be changed by wishful thinking. For example, my wife was always a devoted wife and mother, virtuous and kind, yet I still cheated on her.
Many aspects of human nature are unavoidable. If you don't want to deceive yourself, you must bravely face them.
(VIII)
My wife and I's life was finally back on track. It seemed that only then did we truly begin to love each other.
Especially the psychological intimacy, which is indescribable.
Gradually, my wife developed a habit: no matter what happened at work or outside, she would tell me all about it, asking me for advice on her troubles and sharing her joys with me. Every time, I would listen attentively.
Many times, my wife would lie in my arms and say emotionally, "Honey, even if we're not husband and wife in the future, I believe we'll still be best friends."
— For a man, this simple sentence is more precious than ten thousand "I love you"s.
Once, the female classmate I had a passionate encounter with came to our city for a conference. Since that time, we hadn't been in close contact. Sometimes we'd call to say hello, occasionally exchanging sweet words, but it was more like teasing and joking. My wife
had seen her picture in my graduation yearbook and heard my story about her, so she wasn't unfamiliar with her. I told my wife that she was coming for the conference.
My wife jokingly said, "Want to rekindle old flames? Want me to make room for you?"
I went along with it, saying, "No need, you don't take up much space. Our bed is big, three people can sleep in it."
Hearing this, my wife called me a pervert and then rushed over to pinch me.
Originally, I only planned to treat my female classmate to a meal and show her around the city; I hadn't planned on giving her any special hospitality, as the conference organizers had already arranged her accommodations. But my wife insisted that since her classmate was visiting, we should at least invite her over.
I knew perfectly well what my wife's reaction meant: she was taking the initiative, using offense as defense.
On the day my classmate arrived, my wife took a day off to accompany me to the airport.
Her explanation was, "This shows how much we value her."
My classmate was quite surprised by my wife's appearance, as I hadn't told her beforehand. But there was no need to worry; women are natural diplomats, masters of appearances. Within five minutes of meeting, the two women, each with their own hidden agendas, acted like sisters separated for decades.
As I drove, I glanced at the two women whispering in the rearview mirror and couldn't help but chuckle. Then both women attacked me at once. I thought to myself, "You two are putting on a really convincing show!"
After dropping my classmate off at his place and sitting for a while, the three of us went home. My wife ran around getting drinks and peeling apples.
She whispered to me, "She's uglier than in the photos."
Haha, that's women for you.
After a while, my wife said, "You two chat for a bit. I'm going out to buy groceries. Let's not go out tonight, let's eat at home."
Ignoring my classmate's protests, she left.
I knew perfectly well that my wife wanted to give us some time alone. This cunning woman had everything under control, but outwardly she was impeccably polite. She wanted to be involved, but didn't want me to notice her jealousy.
After my wife left, my classmate and I remained seated, completely oblivious to my wife's enthusiastic antics. We'd lost all desire to do anything naughty.
My classmate said, "Your wife is so nice, I can tell. You two are so happy..."
I went over and gently hugged her, then asked, "If I told him about us, what do you think she would do?"
My classmate was startled and said, "She'd definitely kill me."
I laughed and said, "You're shameless, sleeping with someone else's husband and then acting all intimate with him so naturally."
My classmate kicked me: "You're the one who seduced me."
Half an hour later, my wife returned from grocery shopping. The two women busied themselves in the kitchen, and I couldn't help, so I lay on the bed watching TV.
My wife sneaked over and asked, "While I was away, you two didn't do anything naughty, did you?"
I grabbed her hand, stuffing it into my pants while saying, "Here, check for yourself."
My wife laughed and pulled away, returning to the kitchen.
(IX)
Dinner was plentiful, and the atmosphere at the table was harmonious. I drank baijiu (Chinese liquor), while my wife and my classmate drank red wine. At first, my classmate talked about their trivial matters as a couple, and some embarrassing things I did in school; later, my wife reminisced about our relationship from meeting to falling in love. Work, career, family, etc. She laughed heartily for a moment, then shed a few tears.
Later, they finished their red wine and started drinking beer. In the blink of an eye, four bottles of beer were gone, and they started fighting with me for the baijiu. I was terrified they would say something inappropriate when drunk, so I clung tightly to the baijiu bottle.
The two women quickly reached an agreement: "We won't drink his crap, we'll go out and buy some right now."
They were about to leave when I tried to stop them, but they punched and kicked me. I had no choice but to let them go.
They returned with a bunch of beer. However, they didn't drink much, instead continuing their endless chatter about life. Before I knew it, it was past 11 PM.
My classmate suggested going back to the hotel. My wife strongly objected. The hotel was far from our house, and she was worried about my safety driving after drinking. She couldn't bear to let me take a taxi home alone, so she suggested my classmate stay at our house for the night. —By this time, we had moved to a bigger house with an extra small bedroom for my parents who often stayed over.
Seeing this, my classmate didn't refuse and agreed to let me stay.
After a quick shower, my wife and I crawled into bed. My wife's reaction was unusually passionate; she clung to me like a snake, kissing and biting me. She screamed and shouted without restraint beneath me.
I tried repeatedly to cover her mouth to stop her shouting, but it was all in vain. Her defiant cries were impossible to stop. After the passion subsided, I quickly fell asleep due to the alcohol.
I don't know how much time passed, but I woke up thirsty from the alcohol. Just as I was about to get up to get some water, I suddenly noticed my wife staring at me with her eyes wide open.
Startled, I asked, "Why aren't you asleep yet?"
She said, "I can't sleep, I haven't been able to sleep at all."
I reached out and pulled her into my arms. "What's wrong, darling?"
She said, "Nothing, just overthinking."
I said, "What are you thinking about now? Tell me."
She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Won't anything happen between you and her again?"
I said, "Silly girl, trust me, I won't lie to you or hurt you again."
My wife didn't say anything, burying her head in my chest.
After a while, my wife suddenly stammered, "Why don't you go check on her..."
This startled me, and I quickly said, "Don't be silly, be good, go to sleep."
My wife said, "I'm not joking, and I'm not testing you, I mean it, go ahead."
My mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. Before I could understand, my wife added, "Come back in an hour."
I didn't answer, but silently hugged my wife and kissed her deeply.
After a long while, my wife said again, "Go..."
Pushing open the door to the small bedroom, I quietly asked, "Is she asleep?"
There was no answer. I went to the bedside; my female classmate was lying face up, eyes open.
I pulled back the covers and lay down next to her, whispering, "Why aren't you asleep?"
My classmate nudged me, saying urgently, "Are you crazy? Hurry up and go back, or we'll both be dead if your wife comes over."
I said, "It's okay, I won't do anything, I'll just hold you for a while, then I'll go back right away."
My classmate sighed, turned around and hugged me tightly, then whispered in my ear, "You're really too brave, aren't you afraid your wife will wake up and not be able to find you?"
I sighed and said, "She already knows about us."
Hearing me say that, my classmate didn't react with surprise.
This puzzled me, so I asked her, "Aren't you scared?"
She thought for a moment and said, "Actually, your husband already told me when we went out to buy alcohol."
I fell silent...
We lay there quietly for a while, and then she said, "Go back. I can't do anything to betray her again."
I got up and walked towards my wife's room. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I quickly went back to the bedside, picked her up, and said, "Come here too."
My classmate struggled and cursed at me, "Put me down, you bastard, do you want to die?"
I ignored her completely and carried her to my wife's and my bedroom.
When we entered the room, to cover up the embarrassment, she deliberately called my wife's name loudly and said, "Don't you care about your husband? Look at the mess you've made!"
My wife was equally surprised and said, "Why aren't you sleeping properly in the middle of the night? You two are just making a mess of things."
I walked to the bedside and slammed the woman in my arms onto the bed.
(10)
The female classmate, while trying to get out of bed, said, "I'm not going to mess around with you guys anymore, I'm going back to sleep."
My wife said, "Since you're already here, let's talk for a bit. I haven't been able to sleep since I was drinking too much."
Seeing this, the classmate went along with it and lay down on the bed, still muttering about me, "You really need to control your jerk husband."
My wife laughed and pulled the blanket over her. I went around to the inside of the bed and lay down next to my wife. —I was on the innermost side, my wife was in the middle, and she was on the outermost side.
The atmosphere became a little awkward. Neither of us knew what to say. I tried to make conversation with my wife, saying, "She hasn't slept either."
My wife teased my classmate, "Even country bumpkins are too excited to sleep on their first trip to the city."
My classmate said, "I'm trying to sleep, but you two are making such a racket, it's driving me crazy."
I chimed in, "If I'd known this would happen, I would have lent it to you.
" Before I could finish, my wife immediately said, "Yeah, it's not like we haven't used it before."
My classmate said, "You two must be crazy."
I pretended to be drunk and suddenly jumped between them. My classmate tried to get up and run away, but I pulled him back and wrapped my arm around him. So, I had one arm around her and the other around my wife. The three of us lay there silently, each feeling the other's heartbeat.
Suddenly, a hand touched my penis. Judging from the direction, the hand belonged to my wife. This scene, if written down for outsiders, might seem exciting, but I was extremely nervous at the time. Far from being excited, my penis felt completely limp, as if it weren't even mine anymore. My wife teased me, "You useless man, you have two beautiful women in your arms and you don't even react!"
I turned and kissed my wife passionately, breaking the ice. My female classmate reached out and hugged me. The two women's hands alternately caressed my sensitive areas. Later, I moved to the outermost part of the bed, and my wife and I embraced each other, caressing each other. Suddenly, they kissed. This was the first time I'd ever truly witnessed two women caressing each other, and I never imagined it would feel so beautiful…
At one point, I tried to penetrate my classmate, but it didn't work. My initially excited penis went limp at the entrance. I think it was probably because I was worried about my wife, afraid she wouldn't accept it, and also because I wasn't fully psychologically prepared. This strange feeling prevented me from completely letting go. However, the sensory stimulation was already intense enough.
After a passionate session, the alcohol made me a little dizzy. The two women cuddled together, talking intermittently, and I slowly fell asleep.
The next morning, I was shaken awake. Opening my eyes, I saw it was my classmate, already dressed. I wasn't quite there yet. Looking at the bed, my wife wasn't there. I asked her, "Where's XX?"
She said, "She's cooking in the kitchen. Get up."
I pulled her close and kissed her. Then I got up.
That was the end of it. My classmate attended a three-day meeting, and when she left, my wife and I went to the airport to see her off. Seeing how reluctant they were to part, I realized they were both genuine. The feeling of ulterior motives had vanished. Afterwards, I talked to my wife about it several times, trying to understand her true motives for asking me to go to another room that night. Each time, she explained it as: "I drank too much." So I stopped pressing her.
Now, I understand my wife's behavior that night as follows: First, there was an element of excitement, but not much. Second, perhaps it stemmed from a hidden sense of atonement within her. Although I don't think she committed a grave mistake, that brief affair years ago remains a knot in her heart that she can't untie. Third, she wanted to use this method to firmly grasp my heart.
These three components may all be present, or none at all. If you carefully study women, you will find that they possess many mysteries that you will never understand in your lifetime.
(XI)
After this near-NP experience, I purposefully read some articles about NP online. I discovered a very interesting phenomenon: the vast majority of men seem to dislike the two-woman-one-man arrangement. Based on my experience, I think this idea is very real and quite normal.
In fact, this is not hard to understand. Since ancient times, Chinese people have always regarded sex as a very ambiguous and shameful thing, and the topic of sex has always been very sensitive. Although Confucius said long ago that "food and sex are human nature," his later disciples, especially from Zhu Xi onwards, have always advocated the suppression of human nature. The suppression and destruction of women, in particular, is outrageous. It is as if women, whether physically or psychologically, are naturally subordinate to
men.
Therefore, even today, many men still commit adultery outside of marriage while shamelessly advocating "white deception," and some with a conscience, while unable to resist seeking pleasure outside the marriage, endure guilt towards their wives.
Some deeply ingrained traditional values are very difficult to break. Therefore, faced with their husbands' misconduct, many women can only choose to turn a blind eye—a helpless concession. In most Chinese families, the economic foundation is generally controlled and dominated by men, which determines that women are also at a disadvantage in the superstructure of marriage. Furthermore, even in families where women are economically independent, women's innate maternal instincts make them more family-oriented than men, giving them a stronger sense of responsibility towards children and the elderly. Coupled with some subconscious traditional patriarchal ideas, women can only suppress themselves.
Returning to the initial topic of NP (non-marital relationships), so far, this topic is limited to online discussions with strangers; no one dares to mention this topic to familiar friends or relatives in real life, unless it's a friendship that has developed from online to real life. Zhao Benshan once said in an interview, "In China, speaking a few truths is taken as humor."
—Yes, we've become accustomed to hypocrisy. Even worse, speaking the truth is often seen as perverted, even if the listener inwardly finds what you say perfectly normal, they'll still verbally condemn you. For example, many of those currently criticizing Li Yinhe are clearly insincere, yet they still righteously condemn and denounce her. Rational people shouldn't be angry about this, because they're deceiving themselves. We shouldn't punish ourselves for the foolishness of others.
Let's analyze the pressure on a man in a situation involving two women and one man with his wife present: First, psychologically, if you don't deeply love your wife, you don't need to do this; if you do love your wife, you'll be very worried that she'll be jealous, angry, or unhappy. No matter how well you communicate beforehand, you can't eliminate this psychological pressure unless you're not a very responsible man.
Second, physiologically, due to the physiological structure of men and women, unless both women have bisexual tendencies, one of them will always be excluded, and one woman will always be temporarily neglected. Even if the women don't mind this neglect, as a man, you'll feel an invisible pressure and guilt. This pressure and guilt can easily lead to your weakness, making the whole process very regrettable. In that case, you might as well go on a date with your lover alone; that would be more passionate and wouldn't directly harm your wife.
Since our unsuccessful near-NP (multiple partners) encounter, my female classmate came to our city again. My wife still wanted her to stay with us, but I stopped her. I felt really awkward about it. Our relationship as a trio remained excellent, and when I was alone with her, the previous ambiguity was gone. We'd occasionally hold hands, hug, or kiss—that was all.
Sometimes, this intimacy was more pleasurable than sex. She frequently called my home, but most of the time she spoke with my wife. Even when I answered, we'd only exchange a few words before I handed the phone to my wife, letting the two women chatter on—topics that, to a man, would be utterly tedious: for example, she'd just had a fight with her husband, and my wife would join her in berating him; or my wife and I had just argued, and they'd both berate me on the phone.
From that moment on, I completely broke off all contact with my former lover, and I never lied to my wife about having been with another woman. This wasn't because I was particularly self-disciplined, nor was it to uphold any promise to my wife; it was entirely voluntary. Men who frequent hotels and restaurants often have this feeling: when you suddenly realize the warmth of home, you'll find that no matter how luxurious the hotel, it's not as comfortable as your own bed; no matter how lavish the banquet, it's not as delicious as the few simple dishes on your family's table.
When I recall my sexual encounters with other women, I truly feel that the most harmonious and comfortable sexual experience comes from my wife. That kind of intimate connection built on a solid emotional foundation is hard to achieve with other women.
I can illustrate this with two simple examples: when my wife and I are having sex, as soon as I try to close my legs, she immediately bends and raises them, changing positions even before my movements stop. Most incredibly, no matter how deeply my wife is asleep, if I gently touch her head with my arm, she immediately lifts her head so I can place my arm under her head, then turns and snuggles into my arms—all without her even realizing it.
Sometimes I envy men who seem to thrive in the world of romance. I wonder how they can be so passionate with strange women. I can't do that. I've always felt that sex should be based on feelings and communication; at the very least, the two people shouldn't be complete strangers. Otherwise, the more you think about it, the more awkward it becomes. It's like a strange man on the street taking off his socks and handing them to you, and you just keep wearing them—I don't think many people would agree to that.
Due to work, I've had frequent opportunities to visit entertainment venues over the years, but without exception, I've always chosen to drink or have tea alone. Colleagues and friends often sincerely praise me for being very virtuous. But these people don't understand that, in terms of wrongdoing, I've probably done more than them, just in different ways. Essentially, my past behavior of seducing respectable women was far more egregious.
(XII)
My wife is basically a computer novice. At work, she's limited to basic computer operations, and at home, she rarely goes online. Her MSL usage is mainly limited to contacting classmates or family. Starting a few years ago, I occasionally showed her some of Li Yinhe's rational articles.
—Here, I want to add a few more words: Some say that Li Yinhe is leading the public down the path of evil. This is absolutely a major misunderstanding. If behavior follows theory, then that theory may play a guiding role. However, when theory arises after behavior, then the theory is a summary of behavior. Only such a theory can become a correct theory. This is what is commonly referred to as "theory
originates from practice."
Before Li Yinhe's rational analysis, homosexuality, sadomasochism, group sex, and other such things were all real occurrences. Therefore, Li Yinhe did not induce anyone. On the contrary, Li Yinhe only helps you analyze why you did what you did after it happened. She absolutely does not command you to do something before it happens. —This point must be clear first.
Let me give you an example. A robin can make its nest very beautiful, but before it finishes weaving a nest, it doesn't know what the nest it is going to weave will look like, nor does it know the specific purpose of its actions. When completing the nest-weaving process, it is entirely driven by instinct; this is an animal.
Humans are different. Humans have subjective initiative. Human behavior is simultaneously governed by will and consciousness. That is to say, when a person does something, they know why they are doing it. This is what is commonly referred to as "proactive initiative." However, we are often in a state of confusion. Although we do many things, we are not clear about what we are doing or why we are doing them. Li Yinhe served this purpose: "To make
you understand why you did what you did, whether what you did was right or wrong," thus distinguishing humans from animals.
It was with this initial intention that I consciously showed my wife Li Yinhe's articles. My reason for doing so was not to corrupt her (besides, it wouldn't be possible to corrupt her this way), but simply because I was worried she might feel psychological pressure, self-blame, or even regret about what had happened. Knowing what happened is easy; knowing why it happened is difficult. This requires a patient process of guidance.
As it turned out, my approach was entirely correct. Later, my wife told me that she regretted what happened that night after sobering up the next morning. Her regret wasn't because she had offered me the opportunity to be intimate with her female classmate, but because she was afraid I would think she was despicable and perverted. She cared about my feelings and was afraid I would look down on her because of it. However, with my proper guidance, her psychological barrier was eliminated.
Sometimes when I'm being intimate with my wife, I ask her, "When you meet a really handsome guy, do you ever feel your heart flutter?"
My wife honestly replies, "Yes, but it's limited to feelings and occasional fantasies. I don't have any desire to actually do anything with him because I've filled her heart too much."
These words deeply move me; I'm touched by her honesty.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/128168.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=128168&aspx=1

Previous Page : Incestuous virginity

Next Page : Changsha couple looking for single men

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

Reprinted: My wife and I's story, I'll tell you slowly (7~12)

comment Open a new window to view comments