Cute students

Dear professors and classmates, good afternoon! I am Li Xianyu, a graduating student this year. I accidentally missed my mock graduation defense because I was busy setting up this exam room, and I'm very happy that you professors have given me another chance.

I also hope you all like the place I decorated, including the perfume. Ah, I'm so glad you like it.

I never thought that I, a male student, would be participating in a session dedicated to female students' graduation defenses (bitter smile). Although I initially thought that I would definitely be laughed at by other students after going out, now I think I will definitely be the envy of them, after all, the professors and classmates are all famous beauties in the school.

Ah! Yes, I'm sorry, I was just a little too excited, please let me start again (bows). For the sake of the presentation effect, please allow me to play some calming music. Okay, thank you.

Cough! Cough! Um. Dear professors and classmates, good afternoon. I am Li Xianyu, a graduating student majoring in education at Wulian Normal University.

The title of my thesis is: "On the Position of Education in Psychology".

When a person is born, they are ignorant, like a blank sheet of paper, knowing nothing and understanding nothing.

Then they receive education from their parents or family, gradually learning to speak and walk.

This is why we often say that education should start from infancy. Because a child's psychological state is unstable and ignorant, they are a recipient of education.

At this time, any knowledge you teach them will not be questioned, just like how parents start asking their babies to call them "daddy" and "mommy" a few months after birth. At this age, the child cannot understand what "daddy" and "mommy" mean.

They only know that this is what you call them, and they are happy and rewarded as long as they imitate the people in front of them.

I wonder if you think of anything; Freud's experiment with dogs and bells is based on the same principle. Only the dogs cannot speak.

Ah! I'm sorry, Professor You, I didn't mean that children are dogs. Please allow me to finish expressing my opinion.

(Bowing)

What I want to say is that this kind of education actually uses the biological instinct of imitation to reinforce a child's sense of belonging to their parents. Because they call them "parents" and receive a reward, they unknowingly label their parents with trust, thus beginning to accept their parents' education and using their ideas as the standard for judging right and wrong.

Of course, you might say that not all children are like this, and bad children aren't. The reason for this isn't education, but instinct; the instinct of any living being tends towards pleasure. Even masochists suffer because they feel pleasure, don't they? (Laughs) The reason they go astray is actually very simple: they think that what makes them happy is wrong when their parents and those around them think it is. If their sense of belonging and trust in their parents is stronger, then they will "correct" themselves, suppressing their feelings and telling themselves that doing so is not happy. If their sense of belonging is low, they become the bad children we talk about.

So, in my opinion, the key to education is to teach children how to do things while also giving them a certain amount of happiness. This fosters an instinctive reaction where doing so brings pleasure. Similarly, when someone does something they shouldn't, inflicting pain on them, making them hate doing it, and assuring them that you won't be hated by them—this behavior is called psychological suggestion in psychology.

Therefore, relatively speaking, long-term education is a slow form of psychological suggestion. It takes longer but is effective in the long run.

Short-term education is the opposite: fast and effective but not long-lasting. Another common term for psychological suggestion is hypnosis.

Now, here's the important part. (Adjusts the lecture notes on the podium) I have something to say, please listen carefully. I hope you won't mind what I'm about to say.

I've said so much, all practical stuff, and I see you're all a bit tired (a few people in the audience are shaken awake by those around them). Perhaps we should all take a deep breath and adjust. Shall we change things up, teacher?

Okay, then I'll continue. (Changes to some rhythmic music, closes the curtains, turns on the lights. Turns on the TV and air conditioning.)

(Various light spots and beams appear on the screen)

I believe everyone has masturbated before! Ah, yes, Professor, I didn't mean anything by it, it was just an academic question... Thank you for understanding. Let's continue. It's a bit hot, please allow me to loosen my clothes.

I believe you've all masturbated, right? The process is pleasurable, but generally we're ashamed to talk about it because our family or those around us will tell us it's bad, so we've been taught that we won't do it, and even if we do, we won't talk about it.

After all, if we don't talk about it, no one will know, and no one will educate us, right?

(laughs)

Now, let's imagine this: if everyone here were children and those being educated,

and I were

your educator, the kind you unconditionally trust, you could forget or ignore what your previous educators said. If

I then educate you about masturbation, and after you masturbate, I give you affirmation and encouragement, then you'll unsurprisingly enjoy masturbating, right? (Whispers begin below) Now, I ask you, are you really sure that all your current views, including your views on masturbation, are normal and based on your own thoughts and instincts? Ladies and gentlemen, setting aside worldly views, masturbation doesn't harm others, and if done in moderation, it won't affect you, right? So what's wrong with it?

Teachers, please don't speak yet; you are educators and can influence students' judgment.

If you insist on speaking

, please set aside your roles as educators and think like students, thank you.

Okay, let's continue. Humans are animals, but no animal other than humans is ashamed.

So, try thinking of yourselves as newborn infants receiving education. Why do you dislike masturbation? It doesn't harm you, and many of you have done it secretly, haven't you?

If you still feel ashamed of masturbating alone, try loosening your clothes a bit; it's a bit hot in this weather. (Loosens clothes, smiling at the somewhat hesitant teachers and students below)

You see, everyone has loosened their clothes, and nothing's wrong, right? Because the teachers have done it too, and as educators, I haven't criticized you.

So, do you think this is wrong now? I don't think so, since no one is teaching you that it's wrong.

So why don't we relax a bit more? Like what I just said... Hmm... To avoid suspicion, I'll go out for a bit and come back in later. After all, it's not appropriate for me, the educator, to be here.

(After closing the door, listening to the slow moans coming from behind it, it seems I need to go and talk to the security guard on the first floor about extending my time using the classroom.)

============================

{2}

(Opens door) Alright, it seems everyone can relax a bit. No need to tidy your appearance; this is just for show for those educators outside. I won't lecture you about this. After all, I'm different from those who like to give incorrect education.

Okay, let's continue the lesson. Please return to your seats and look at the screen. Since everyone has done this, I think you all agree that I am the educator and you are the students.

Now, I want to correct some things you've been taught wrong before—yes, some misconceptions.

First, most people can't masturbate in public because they're embarrassed, right? That is to say, as long as it's done in a completely safe environment, there's absolutely no problem. The behavior itself isn't wrong.

This is the premise for you to continue listening. If you can't accept this, please raise your hand or leave. Because you're no longer a student, and you also lose the qualification to be an educator.

Okay, it seems everyone is a very qualified student (applause), very good. If you'd like, you can continue to relax and listen to me; I won't criticize you for this.

(The groans slowly return.)

Let me continue to correct your misconceptions. Ah, no need to force you to sit up straight, just relax. I don't care about this formal respect, as long as you genuinely believe in me and accept my teachings.

My lovely elementary school students.

Just like with masturbation, much of your common sense is wrong or limited. This is the dereliction of duty of past educators, and you, as future educators, absolutely should not repeat it. (Slams table) I'm sorry, I startled you a bit. I just hope you can remember this once, so you won't make mistakes again, and there won't be any punishment. This is for your own good.

So, your second misconception is: fixed common sense. To put it simply, your common sense lacks flexibility. Just like your initial concept of masturbation—masturbation is definitely wrong! This concept itself is wrong! Common sense is common sense precisely because it is only effective in one specific space and wrong in another.

Don't understand? Let me put it this way! In traditional Chinese concepts and common sense, men and women should not touch each other, right? Between ordinary friends of the opposite sex, or even newly met, physical contact beyond a handshake is generally considered inappropriate. Hugging and cuddling are absolutely forbidden, right?

Is this correct? (Shakes head) No, it's neither right nor wrong. In specific situations, one should adjust their common sense judgment based on the specific space and environment. Note the phrase "adjust common sense."

In China, hugging and cuddling is definitely wrong because it contradicts established Chinese common sense and public opinion.

But in Europe and America? Is it wrong? No, in European and American common sense, such contact between friends is normal, an expression of enthusiasm and a willingness to befriend.

For example, what you're doing right now—masturbating—is definitely wrong in public squares or on the street because it doesn't conform to the established common sense of those places. But here, in my classroom, where you consider yourselves my students, it's perfectly acceptable.

This is the most basic kind of common sense adjustment, and it's something you must get used to. In front of me, adjust your common sense; don't use outside common sense to think here. Put away all your common sense, like you're putting it in a locked box. Only take it out when I'm not around or when there are strangers. Just remember what I taught you before.

If you can't even do that, then you're hopelessly stupid and it's better to give up thinking altogether, otherwise you'll only suffer pain and punishment. I don't think any of you want to be punished, right?

So, I'll give you fifteen minutes, or a climax, to completely switch your common sense.

(After a while)

Okay, time's up. So, who still feels they haven't successfully switched their common sense? Oh, okay, you too, teacher. You guys are hopelessly stupid. Come here, I'll help you, you're welcome.

(Picks up a pointer)

First, kneel down and do some forward bend push-ups. That's right! Go behind me and watch the screen carefully. Very good. Corporal punishment is an efficient yet cruel educational method, but of course I won't do it, because I want you to be happy because of my teaching. But you will also receive a little punishment for your stupidity.

(Crack, a whip cracks)

Oh, it seems you're not just in pain, but also a little aroused. Not bad, huh? Well, that's good. I genuinely hope you can be happy because of my teachings. Now, since you can't switch to common sense like the other students, then don't think about it. Close your eyes, just listen carefully to every word I say, and wait for the punishment that might fall on you at any time. If you can't switch your thinking, then don't think about anything. After all, you're just a bunch of brainless, horny idiots, like bitches in heat.

Let's continue.

(Crack, groan)

So, everyone in the audience should have successfully switched, right? Huh? What switch? Who am I? Oh, I'm your most trusted educator. You just need to remember and believe every word I say. If you don't remember, this is what will happen to these dogs. They're dogs, that's common sense here.

(Crack) You see, they're all barking, so they're just my pet bitches here.

Right, you bitches.

(Slap) Yes, you nod, good girl.

So, let's continue learning. Do you know what love is? Yes, so do you think kissing is good or bad?

Don't know? If I say that as long as the person you kiss is me, it's right, and if it's someone else, it's wrong, do you remember that?

Yes, you all remember, that's good.

What do you think a slave is? Oh, you don't know what it is, but you think it's bad? Why do you think that? You see, let me explain. A slave exists for her master. They can only obey their master's orders and dedicate their lives to them. That is to say, a slave is unconditionally obedient to her master. Of course, many slaves are miserable because their master's orders don't make them happy.

(Slap, groan)

But you are different. Although you also obey me unconditionally, at least you are happy. So you are not slaves. Oh, I see some of you are relieved. Don't worry, there are no slaves in modern society, right? You are just students who obey me unconditionally and feel happy, right?

Okay, good job. Well then, I think we can end today's lesson here. I'll be giving you extra lessons and private tutoring from time to time later. Oh. You're welcome. It's my responsibility as an educator, and you all need to. After class, try to get together to preview and review what a student should do. Here are some CDs; distribute them.

Use them as study materials. Watch them when you're alone. See you next class. Now, organize everything, and switch back to general knowledge after I leave. Remember, this is a special lesson; don't tell anyone else.

(Screen and music turn off, fan in the corner.)

Class dismissed, everyone. Shouldn't you kneel down and swear eternal obedience to me as a sign of gratitude? Hmm, very good.

As for you bitches, did you climax?

(Slap, high-pitched moan)

Looks like it. However, since you have no brains, straighten your clothes. Come with me first, I'm going to teach you a lesson.

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