Born wearing a green hat

I don't know if it's just bad luck, or if I was born with a green hat on my head. Or maybe

it's just my appearance, as my friends jokingly say. My first girlfriend, Hong, was someone I met in high school; she was a year below me. She was always very good to me, taking care of me. I felt like she treated me like a younger brother. Maybe it was out of gratitude, or maybe for some other inexplicable reason, but towards the end of high school, we fell in love. At that time, I didn't understand what love was, and I wasn't sure if my feelings for her could be called love. But I was already used to her care, and at that point, I simply wanted to wait until I reached marriageable age so I could marry her. And then live a simple, peaceful life; I liked that quiet, unambitious existence.

The most intimate thing we did together was kiss. I'm a rather traditional person, and I wanted to save the most beautiful moment for our wedding night. She also said that she would always be mine, and that my place in her heart would never be irreplaceable. Touched by her words, I secretly vowed to treat Hong well for the rest of my life. Almost without warning, Hong had a relationship with a friend of mine, Hai. When others told me all this, I couldn't believe my ears. I still clearly remember the sentence Hai relayed: at a party, he told everyone that he slept with my girlfriend, who was still a virgin. Later, my girlfriend came to his house every day at noon, demanding sex, to the point that he couldn't get it anymore. When I asked Hong, she denied it and said I didn't believe her, and she got very angry with me. But in the end, I still witnessed it with my own eyes, and Hong still didn't give me any explanation. Those were the most humiliating days of my life. I had never suffered such an insult in my entire life. In a fit of rage, I hired someone to beat them both up. Afterwards, I went to another city; I simply didn't want to stay there anymore. To this day, I still don't understand why Hong did what she did. In every way, Hai couldn't compare to me. In fact, six months after I left, Hong got married to a man more than ten years her senior. Before my wedding, Hong called me and only said one sentence: "It seems we really weren't meant to be." I've been thinking about where I went wrong, and for the first time, I understand why people say, "A woman's heart is like the bottom of the sea."

The story didn't end there. Soon after, I started dating a girlfriend named Ni. It was love at first sight, I should say. I was completely attracted to her, and she liked me too. At this point, my feelings weren't the same as before. After our relationship reached a certain level, I started thinking about how to have sex with her. One day at my house, after I undressed her, she told me to respect her, saying we couldn't have sex before marriage, and that she would be mine sooner or later, so there was no need to rush. Her words made me feel embarrassed, and thinking about it, she was right. After that, I tried my best to control myself when we were alone together. Unexpectedly, before our wedding, she had sex with a stranger. According to her, the man had just broken up with his girlfriend, and she just wanted to comfort him, but they ended up having sex. She said she didn't want to, and she was completely stupid at the time. She asked me to forgive her, saying that she still loved me the most. I'm speechless. Is that an excuse? Women are so shameless.

Two lessons taught me one thing: never worry about what women are thinking; the key is what men are thinking. If you think it, then do it. Women don't deserve respect; in short, women are just for sex. If you don't have sex with them, someone else will. If you don't eat the meat that's already in your mouth, you'll regret it later. Later events proved that I was right.

I never seriously dated; I always seduced women who had boyfriends. Maybe it was revenge, or maybe I wanted to understand women's minds more deeply. I remember once going out with one man and four women. We stayed in a house that night, all six of us crammed into one bed. In the middle of the night, I started touching Juan, the girl next to me. When she didn't react, I slowly became bolder. Later, I unbuttoned her clothes and climbed on top of her, only then realizing she was awake. I didn't care whether the other person was awake or not; she cooperated, even covering her mouth with her hand to keep quiet. After we finished, I went to the bathroom and saw blood on my penis; my heart skipped a beat. The next day, she quietly pulled me aside and told me I had taken her virginity. At first, I thought she was going to ask me to take responsibility, but instead, she said not to tell anyone, and that our relationship was over because she had a boyfriend and was getting married soon.

History was strikingly similar, only the roles were reversed. I wonder if my ex-girlfriend did the same. For over a month after returning home, everything was peaceful, and I never told anyone. Then she called me, saying she wanted to see me. Then we went to a hotel and stayed there for five or six years. We'd meet up every two or three months for a night, and she got married four years ago. I've asked her several times what this is all about, what she really thinks, and whether her husband can't satisfy her. She says her husband is very good in bed, and we're just lovers. She says she doesn't know why, but she always looks forward to being with me. She's thought about ending it, but she just can't bring herself to. I asked her what she would do if her husband found out, and she said if he wanted a divorce, she would. But even if they divorced, she wouldn't marry me. Actually, I also have those lingering feelings for Juan. I truly, truly don't understand women. The more women I meet, the more perplexing they become.

While maintaining this relationship with Juan, I also hooked up with quite a few other women. Then one time, after we had sex, a woman lay in my arms making a phone call to her boyfriend, as if I didn't exist. Women are natural actors. That call lasted a full half hour, especially when she was telling her boyfriend to be careful about the weather and wear more clothes. Did her boyfriend ever imagine that his girlfriend was lying naked in another man's arms? This woman also told me she had never given her boyfriend oral sex, finding it disgusting. But for some reason, she was willing to give me oral sex, and it felt so natural and harmonious. It seems that to truly understand a woman's inner thoughts, one must be a lover, not a husband. As a mistress, you can know perfectly well how many men she's been with, how many one-night stands she's had, but a husband will never know these things.

I really feel so sad; what's wrong with women? When they keep saying men are bad, have they ever thought about themselves? Maybe they're just using men's badness to cover up their own inner turmoil. It takes two to tango; for every bad man, there are countless bad women paired with him—that's a reality in society. Women, can you deny it? I don't know if I'll ever fall in love again. I believe there are good women in this world, but I just can't find them. I'm scared, really scared.

Women, please give me a reason to believe in you.

I'm numb now. The women who once lay beneath me now accuse their husbands of their faults: lack of tenderness, no romance, no money, and seeing other women. It seems they've forgotten they're now lying beneath a man who isn't their husband. Women often forget what they're doing when they criticize men. I just smile and offer understanding. What

can I say? One man, after discovering his wife's affair with me, was told by his wife that she was playing cards with me, and the loser had to give the winner a massage, and she won. She couldn't control herself, so… I can imagine her husband's expression upon hearing this.

Although it was the men who suffered, these experiences taught me that it's really easy to have sex with a woman. Women are inherently lustful. A little seduction is enough to make her throw herself into your arms. I know clearly that unless a woman is willing, or she has no way to resist, she has absolutely no self-control in this area. Once you arouse her, she will absolutely comply with you. I never force women; I only seduce them.

Later, I met a girl six years younger than me. We had sex, but I didn't contact her again. She called me and asked why I wasn't talking to her anymore, but I didn't answer. She asked if it was because she wasn't a virgin. I said no. Her answer shocked me: "I know men care about this; men always think bleeding is auspicious. I like you, and I'll definitely find you a virgin." Good heavens, what was she thinking? Women are truly diverse; every one of them is different. I

'm really getting old, and I'm starting to feel afraid. Am I just going to live like this forever? What will I do when I'm old? Maybe I'll never have that kind of "most romantic thing" in my life.

Seeing young people in their early twenties often breaks my heart. They squander love and ignorance recklessly. As members of the only-child generation, I truly don't know how their parents are raising them; it's shockingly idiotic. They themselves are oblivious, thinking it's all fashionable and trendy. The future of China is dark. However, this is beyond my control. The incident over a decade ago changed the previous education methods, turning this generation into snobbish, idiotic, cold-blooded, and ruthless.

Here are a few examples: A while ago, a girl from Sichuan Normal University whom I met online invited me out for drinks. She said all eight girls from her two dorm rooms were coming, and specifically mentioned that some of them were very beautiful. At first, I thought it was just a drink outing, but when I arrived, I realized the place was wrong. It was a club specifically for drug use. The girl asked me if I knew how to buy the drugs. I called my cousin, and he gave me the phone number of a teammate he knew from his club days. I still can't understand what these young girls were thinking. They were each taking one pill, not even getting high. Why did they need to do ketamine? Why not do this? How much money do students have? Do they think their parents' money is so easy to earn?

Calling them idiots might not be enough. When I called the guy, he was initially well-behaved. Later, he gave each of the girls a black, spherical pill. I didn't know what it was at the time. Later on the phone, the guy told me it was an aphrodisiac and that if I ever needed anything like this, I could just contact him for a 50% discount. The girls didn't even look at the food before putting it in their mouths. These kinds of clubs usually have a restroom in their private rooms. The guy I called dragged two of the girls into the restroom when the drugs hit, and I don't need to explain what happened next. What's even more unbelievable is that just a few days later, those girls asked me to come out again. I don't use drugs, and I remember when I said that, they looked at me like I was an alien. As if I wasn't from Earth. I really wondered if I lived in this era.

What happened next was even more shocking. I remember once asking if the boys at my school were happy because there were more girls than boys. One of the women said, "Do you know our slogan? Our slogan is to ensure no virgin graduates from our school." At that moment, I was speechless. What kind of world is this? I tentatively asked, "Aren't you afraid that when you get married, your husbands will care that you're not virgins anymore?" "Enjoy it while you can! What era are we living in? Who cares about that now?" "If he did, I'd kick him out." Who raised them like this? I've been debating whether to reach out my sinful hand to these girls, and before I could even figure it out, they reached out to me first. "Have you ever had a 3P or 4P? Tonight we won't go back to school, let's go to a hotel, okay?" "The three of us will play 4P with you." Although I consider myself experienced, I've never seen anything like it. As it turns out, I'm not capable of playing with three at the same time. The last time I ejaculated, it was all water and very little. That night made me not want to touch a woman for a whole month. A girl told me that several guys were pursuing her, and she planned to marry the most persistent one after graduation. If those guys knew she was this kind of woman, would they still pursue her?

A few days later, a girl called me saying she didn't want to live on campus anymore and wanted to move in with another girl. I was speechless. They all had boyfriends, and I don't know what those guys were thinking. Knowing their girlfriends were living in my house, they weren't even jealous. One day, when we went to a disco, I hugged their girlfriends in front of them and kept rubbing their butts. Those guys were just grinning from ear to ear. Thankfully, they didn't stay at my house for long, or I wouldn't have been able to live there. The only good thing about being with these female college students is that it doesn't cost much money? They're quite self-aware about this; they always split the bill, even when booking hotel rooms. Perhaps they really are just looking for thrills and enjoyment.

Many people might not believe these things, and I think I wouldn't believe it either if someone told me, but it's true. Even though I experienced it firsthand, I often feel like I'm dreaming. Chinese people are truly doomed. A while ago, I saw a post about a girl who was still a virgin when she graduated, feeling ashamed in front of her classmates. It was as if being a virgin was some kind of disgrace, so she found a boy in her class who wasn't popular with women and had him deflower her. This is unbelievable, yet I believe it's absolutely true. It's not surprising that such things happen to this generation of idiots.

At first, I was excited when another man's wife was in my arms; another man in the world was being cuckolded. But after a while, I became numb. No matter how many women I slept with, I still felt lonely. None of them truly belonged to me. What I needed was a stable and peaceful relationship, but what had I done all these years? I think I will still get married, but I won't demand her fidelity anymore, as long as she remembers we have a home and is willing to stay with me until old age. Over decades, who can guarantee they won't be tempted, won't make even the slightest mistake? It's precisely because people have feelings that it's even harder to do that.

If any man doesn't believe that women are no different from men, he can boldly try it. If you're not particularly repulsive-looking, as long as you have some money in your purse, act witty and confident, it's easy to hook up with someone. Even if you bump into a beautiful woman on the street, it's no problem at all. Also, eye contact is very important. No matter how beautiful she is, you need to make her feel embarrassed, look at her closely. Your eyes shouldn't be lewd; instead, look more confused and sincere. Try it a few times, and you'll gradually get the hang of it. As for money, you don't need a lot. At least you need to have some in your purse. Pay for meals, entertainment, and hotel rooms. Don't be afraid to refuse. If you fancy one, pester her every day, but never let her feel annoyed. You need to find the right balance. Women's hearts are actually very soft. Many women don't know how to refuse people, and women are too vain. They're happy when someone appreciates them. It's especially easy to seduce women who have been married for a year or two. It's not easy to seduce newlyweds. As for why, I don't need to explain, everyone should understand.

Three years ago, I met a woman and almost changed the course of my life for her. I think I was really wicked to the core. For the first time, I felt like my heart had been stabbed.

I picked her up at a dinner table. That year, when my family was having a birthday party at a roast duck restaurant on Zongfu Road, my mother said, "That girl is so pretty. I wish she could be my wife." After dinner, I went up to her, stared at her for a long time, and finally said, "You're so beautiful. My mom hopes you can be her daughter-in-law." She smiled faintly, and I was truly captivated. I had never seen such a beautiful woman in my life; even her smile was so beautiful. I never knew that real people could be as beautiful as in a painting. Actually, I'm not that good-looking myself; I've just been bold and have developed a strong gaze.

I asked her for her phone number, and she hesitated before handing it to me. I called her back and told her I'd treat her to dinner another day. The next day, I called her, told her I'd wait for her after work, and hung up without waiting for her reply.

At the time, I didn't even consider whether she would come, but I knew women were always curious. If you're overly attentive to her, she might ignore you; but if you constantly dominate her, everything about you becomes alluring. A former colleague gave me a nickname—Ximen Chun, meaning "the most innocent one in Ximen," though "innocent" was obviously a lie. The "Ximen" wasn't entirely due to Ximen Qing's infamous reputation; it simply meant I lived near the west gate of Chengdu, making me the most notorious woman in Ximen. Later, people said I was alluring without needing bait, so I changed my nickname to "The Temptation Without Hooks." So when she finally appeared before me, I was somewhat surprised but not entirely unexpected. Women are strange like that; once a man makes a good start, she'll seize the initiative. Without even asking my opinion, she told me to go with her to Ito Supermarket to buy groceries and then cook at her house.

I'm someone who likes to cook but doesn't like to eat, and she really praised my cooking skills. It wasn't until we were eating that we introduced ourselves to each other.
I told her about my past, my experiences. I blurted out everything, things I should and shouldn't have said. Men become idiots in front of beautiful women, especially one as stunningly beautiful and domineering as her, making it impossible to lie; I wanted to give her my heart. I spoke freely, and she listened intently. The feeling of tearing off the mask was so liberating. I didn't trust my friends, I didn't trust women; I had always lived in a self-imposed isolation. My heart was lonely. It's an honor to have someone listen to your story, especially a beautiful one. She asked if my mother really wanted her as a daughter-in-law. I said yes, it was my mother who gave me the courage to come to her. She gave me that same faint smile. I like women who smile. Even a pathetic person like me didn't have the slightest hint of restlessness in her presence. Perhaps I really have fallen in love again, though I'm not sure if I still have the capacity for love.
A few days later, I asked her to go to the movies with me again. She asked if I liked her. I said yes. She then said, "Then why didn't you even hold my hand? Everything just happened so naturally." I asked her, "I'm neither rich nor good-looking, so why did you fall for me?" She said it was because of my straightforward way of speaking, because I dared to look her in the eye when I spoke. Of all the men she'd met, I was the only exception. Surprising, isn't it? That could touch a woman's heart. When we actually got to know each other, I discovered how good she was. She had a great job, earning more than ten times my salary, and I was far less attractive than her. But she was really kind. When we went out, she always insisted on paying, considerately saying, "You should keep that little bit of money." Later, seeing my embarrassed expression, she suggested we split the bill from now on. But the situation remained unchanged; she always paid when there was more money, and I paid when there was less. My colleagues all said it was unfair that I met such a woman. I said, "God is fair."

During this time, I constantly restrained my sexual urges, genuinely respected her, and never made any unreasonable demands. Although we shared a room many times, it felt like we were back in our first love, everything was so beautiful. Three months later, she stayed out late at my house. I arranged for her to sleep in the guest room, and just as I was about to go to sleep, she came into my room, silently slipped under the covers, and hugged me, whispering, "Do you want me? If you do, I'll give myself to you!" I stared at her, speechless. I thought maybe I really should love her unconditionally, love this woman before me. I started kissing her, kissing every inch of her skin. I slowly removed her nightgown, caressing her. She blinked her big eyes at me. I felt a little embarrassed. She said, "Are you still shy?" I entered her body in the moonlight. She let out a soft "Ah." This was her first time. Only afterward did I see a stain on the sheets. She had kept her virginity. That night, I cried—the first time I'd ever cried in front of a woman. She said she wouldn't hold my past actions against me, but if I ever did anything to betray her, she would never forgive me.

However, everything that followed was exactly the same, and I completely lost faith.

Many people say this is revenge, but I personally declare that it absolutely is not. Even without me, someone else would fill that role; it's hard to say who hurt whom. In a society where everyone is obsessed with money, who truly respects whom? Money equals status and reputation.

I can't convince you either. Since that's the case, only one thing is right: make yourself happy. Everyone's standards are different; what I consider good, you might not. Men and women differ in many ways. Many times, a woman's infidelity isn't because her man treats her badly; in fact, he treats her very well. This constant kindness makes a woman unaware of it, taking it for granted. A hug, a kiss, a bouquet of flowers, or even a false sweet word from a lover can move a woman for a long time. Men are easier to satisfy than women, and their demands on women are simpler. Women are different; sometimes they don't even know what they want. What they can't have is always the best.

I admit my topic is a bit extreme, but the content isn't.

Reality is often confusing. Many of my friends and classmates have experienced deeply moving love, but as time goes on, few can remain devoted. After a long marriage, that love transforms into familial affection, more of a responsibility than love. You could say that people influence their friends, but among my friends, no matter how proper they were in school or before marriage, society is a melting pot. Aside from myself, every man I know who has frequented brothels has been to prostitutes, yet they still become good husbands. The world is changing rapidly; people today not only develop physically earlier, but their thinking is too.

My cousin is only 20 years old. He and his friends often go to prostitutes. According to them, prostitution is more cost-effective than finding a girlfriend, as finding a girlfriend is too expensive. This is true. Relationships in school are more or less pure, but once they enter the workforce, or are about to enter it, the standards women have for boyfriends are surprisingly consistent. At the very least, they all require the man to own a house and have a monthly income that isn't lower than a certain amount. I don't understand this. Why do women constantly demand gender equality, yet refuse to be equal in these areas? You know, in China, the wealthy are a minority, which creates men who can have several women at the same time.

I remember one of my cousin's female classmates told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. I said, "How can I? You're more than ten years younger than me." She said age wasn't a problem. She even said she liked going out and asked if I wanted to go, and if I minded if my girlfriend was taking drugs. I said I minded, and she said, "Are you worried about the health of your future children? Drugs have many harmful effects. I've met a very voluptuous girl who lost so much weight in a year and a half that her breasts were flat. Another one, even without taking drugs, now gets dizzy just from hearing music." Of course, you could say they've been taking too much, but no matter the amount, the damage to the brain and body from this stuff far exceeds that of No. 4. It's just that it's not as addictive as No. 4, and you don't need to use it every day. I asked her if she loved me. She said no. If she didn't love me, why would she be my girlfriend? Most women these days are so pragmatic; they marry for money, not for love, so cheating is inevitable.

I've seen many women making statements that shift the concept, like men think with their lower bodies while women think with their upper bodies. Men love because of sex, women have sex because of love. Is this really true? Many women today have had relationships with several men before marriage. If it were truly as they say, then these women are far too promiscuous, falling in love with a man so easily. What makes a good woman? In my opinion, only a truly good woman will love only one person for years. Men and women are actually the same, just with different focuses. A beautiful woman is always surrounded by many men; men love her for her looks. A wealthy man is similarly surrounded by many women; women love him for his money. Everyone gets what they need, but is that love?

I've lost count of how many women I've been with, not even how many virgins I've slept with. All I remember is my first time, the first person I slept with, my first one-night stand. Only after that did I seem to understand why so many men seek out virgins—because the first impression is always the most profound. Men are selfish in this respect; they always want to be unforgettable in a woman's heart for life. Many friends say they have no luck with women and ask me how to find them. I'm not a Casanova; it mainly depends on courage and experience. Not every woman can be seduced, but women with a bit of attractiveness are the easiest to seduce. Conversely, women with average looks are much harder to get.

I remember my first one-night stand. I wasn't really looking for one; it was just a joke. The internet was just starting to become popular then. The first time I went to a chat room, I saw an account called "Fairy Zixia." I messaged her saying I was the Monkey King and wanted to give her a night she'd remember for ten thousand years. We chatted for about five minutes, exchanged contact information, and arranged a meeting place. She was quite pretty, about 165cm tall, with a full and well-proportioned figure. I was very happy to have met such a beauty on my first date. We sat in a fast-food restaurant for a while, and since we had some time, we went to a bar for drinks. Through our conversation, I learned she had a steady boyfriend whom she had met two years ago; he was her first love and had brought her to this city. Because her boyfriend was often away on business trips, he was rarely home. She didn't work and spent all her time online playing games. She met me the first time she entered a chat room and found my suggestion of a one-night stand novel, something she had never tried before, so she agreed. I asked her if she wasn't afraid of encountering bad people. She said no. We kissed in a bar, and my hands started moving restlessly. When we were both quite drunk, I took her to a hotel and we booked a room…

The next morning, she gave me a deep kiss and said thank you for giving her such an unforgettable night. Then

she hurriedly left me alone. Actually, it wasn't just a one-night stand; we later did it again at her house. I even asked her then why she wasn't afraid of me and trusted me so much. She said she felt I wasn't a bad person and wouldn't do anything to harm her. She was a beautiful girl, a girl who knew how to enjoy life, and at least sexually, she enjoyed it. Regarding my evaluation, she said I was a clean and refreshing guy who could bring her a completely new feeling and pleasure sexually, and that I was also a very good sexual partner. I said we could maintain this relationship, but she refused. She said that although she enjoyed being with me, she couldn't escape the guilt in her heart. I'm not the kind of person who clings on relentlessly. Although I still often thought of her afterward, I never contacted her again. Because of that experience, I became much bolder afterwards. Actually, my confidence increased considerably.

Now, looking back on everything that happened, I don't feel a single sweet feeling in my heart. What is happiness? A simple, ordinary love, someone willing to live a simple, ordinary life with you. I'm just an ordinary person, and for me, a simple life is what I desire most.

Many people say I'm immoral, but at least I've never lied to anyone, and I've never hidden my personality or what I want from anyone. I will speak my mind. What I want is understanding, so I'll make it clear to you first. I haven't truly hated the women who betrayed me in the past. What I can't let go of is why they betrayed you without telling you the truth. Isn't it better to be clear? Say what you think, say what you want to do, isn't it better to be transparent?

Don't blame the openness of sex on the openness of society. The openness of society has only torn off women's veils of pretense. Why only torn off women's pretense? Because men have always been this way. (There are too many temptations in the world, which makes love fickle.) This statement is clearly an insult to love. Few things in this world last forever, and love is one of them. If you change your heart because of temptation, that's not true love. Those who have love in their hearts have the ability to resist loneliness and temptation! If you can't, then you're only loving yourself. Many women have commented on what I've written, saying that men are the same, and that there are still many good women. There's no need to argue about this. I just want to say that in reality, women's requirements for love far exceed those of men. If anyone still disagrees, they are simply afraid to face themselves. Love naturally deteriorates under too many conditions. In today's society, everyone should understand who is more at fault, men or women.

I don't know if it's just bad luck, or if I was born with a green hat on my head. Or maybe

it's just my appearance, as my friends jokingly say. My first girlfriend, Hong, was someone I met in high school; she was a year below me. She was always very good to me, taking care of me. I felt like she treated me like a younger brother. Maybe it was out of gratitude, or maybe for some other inexplicable reason, but towards the end of high school, we fell in love. At that time, I didn't understand what love was, and I wasn't sure if my feelings for her could be called love. But I was already used to her care, and at that point, I simply wanted to wait until I reached marriageable age so I could marry her. And then live a simple, peaceful life; I liked that quiet, unambitious existence.

The most intimate thing we did together was kiss. I'm a rather traditional person, and I wanted to save the most beautiful moment for our wedding night. She also said that she would always be mine, and that my place in her heart would never be irreplaceable. Touched by her words, I secretly vowed to treat Hong well for the rest of my life. Almost without warning, Hong had a relationship with a friend of mine, Hai. When others told me all this, I couldn't believe my ears. I still clearly remember the sentence Hai relayed: at a party, he told everyone that he slept with my girlfriend, who was still a virgin. Later, my girlfriend came to his house every day at noon, demanding sex, to the point that he couldn't get it anymore. When I asked Hong, she denied it and said I didn't believe her, and she got very angry with me. But in the end, I still witnessed it with my own eyes, and Hong still didn't give me any explanation. Those were the most humiliating days of my life. I had never suffered such an insult in my entire life. In a fit of rage, I hired someone to beat them both up. Afterwards, I went to another city; I simply didn't want to stay there anymore. To this day, I still don't understand why Hong did what she did. In every way, Hai couldn't compare to me. In fact, six months after I left, Hong got married to a man more than ten years her senior. Before my wedding, Hong called me and only said one sentence: "It seems we really weren't meant to be." I've been thinking about where I went wrong, and for the first time, I understand why people say, "A woman's heart is like the bottom of the sea."

The story didn't end there. Soon after, I started dating a girlfriend named Ni. It was love at first sight, I should say. I was completely attracted to her, and she liked me too. At this point, my feelings weren't the same as before. After our relationship reached a certain level, I started thinking about how to have sex with her. One day at my house, after I undressed her, she told me to respect her, saying we couldn't have sex before marriage, and that she would be mine sooner or later, so there was no need to rush. Her words made me feel embarrassed, and thinking about it, she was right. After that, I tried my best to control myself when we were alone together. Unexpectedly, before our wedding, she had sex with a stranger. According to her, the man had just broken up with his girlfriend, and she just wanted to comfort him, but they ended up having sex. She said she didn't want to, and she was completely stupid at the time. She asked me to forgive her, saying that she still loved me the most. I'm speechless. Is that an excuse? Women are so shameless.

Two lessons taught me one thing: never worry about what women are thinking; the key is what men are thinking. If you think it, then do it. Women don't deserve respect; in short, women are just for sex. If you don't have sex with them, someone else will. If you don't eat the meat that's already in your mouth, you'll regret it later. Later events proved that I was right.

I never seriously dated; I always seduced women who had boyfriends. Maybe it was revenge, or maybe I wanted to understand women's minds more deeply. I remember once going out with one man and four women. We stayed in a house that night, all six of us crammed into one bed. In the middle of the night, I started touching Juan, the girl next to me. When she didn't react, I slowly became bolder. Later, I unbuttoned her clothes and climbed on top of her, only then realizing she was awake. I didn't care whether the other person was awake or not; she cooperated, even covering her mouth with her hand to keep quiet. After we finished, I went to the bathroom and saw blood on my penis; my heart skipped a beat. The next day, she quietly pulled me aside and told me I had taken her virginity. At first, I thought she was going to ask me to take responsibility, but unexpectedly, she said not to tell anyone, and that our relationship ended there because she had a boyfriend and was getting married soon.

History repeats itself, only the roles are reversed. I wonder if my ex-girlfriend did the same. After returning home, everything was peaceful for over a month, and I never told anyone. Then she called me, saying she wanted to see me. We went to a hotel, and it's been like this for five or six years now. We'd meet up every two or three months for a night, and she got married four years ago. I've asked her several times what this is all about, what she really thinks, and whether her husband can't satisfy her. She said her husband is very good in bed, and we're just having an affair. She said she doesn't know why, but she always looks forward to seeing me. She's thought about ending it, but she just can't bring herself to. I asked her what she would do if her husband found out, and she said if he wanted a divorce, then she would. Even if we divorce, she won't marry me. Actually, I also have those lingering feelings for Juan. I really, really don't understand women. The more women I meet, the more perplexing they become.

While maintaining this relationship with Juan, I hooked up with quite a few other women. Until one time, a woman, after having sex with me, lay in my arms making a phone call to her boyfriend, as if I didn't exist at all. Women are natural actors. That phone call lasted a full half hour, especially when she told her boyfriend to be careful about the weather and wear more clothes. Did her boyfriend ever think that his girlfriend was lying naked in another man's arms? This woman also told me that she had never given her boyfriend oral sex, finding it disgusting. But for some reason, she was willing to give me oral sex, and it felt so natural and harmonious. To truly understand a woman's inner thoughts, it seems the only way is to be her lover, not her husband. A lover can know exactly how many men she's been with, how many one-night stands she's had, but a husband will never know these things.

I truly feel so sad; what's wrong with women? When they keep saying men are bad, have they ever thought about themselves? Perhaps they're just using men's badness to mask their own inner turmoil. It takes two to tango; for every bad man, there are countless bad women paired with him—this is a reality in society. Women, can you deny it? I don't know if I'll ever fall in love again. I believe there are good women in this world, but I just can't find them. I'm scared, truly scared.

Women, please give me a reason to believe in you.

I'm numb now. The women who once lay beneath me now accuse their husbands of their faults: lack of tenderness, no romance, no money, and seeing other women. It seems they've forgotten they're now lying beneath a man who isn't their husband. Women often forget what they're doing when they criticize men. I just smile and offer understanding. What

can I say? One man, after discovering his wife's affair with me, was told by his wife that she was playing cards with me, and the loser had to give the winner a massage, and she won. She couldn't control herself, so… I can imagine her husband's expression upon hearing this.

Although it was the men who suffered, these experiences taught me that it's really easy to have sex with a woman. Women are inherently lustful. A little seduction is enough to make her throw herself into your arms. I know clearly that unless a woman is willing, or she has no way to resist, she has absolutely no self-control in this area. Once you arouse her, she will absolutely comply with you. I never force women; I only seduce them.

Later, I met a girl six years younger than me. After we had sex, I didn't contact her again. She called me and asked why I wasn't talking to her anymore, but I didn't answer. She asked if it was because she wasn't a virgin. I said no. Her answer shocked me: "I know men care about this; men always think bleeding is auspicious. I like you, and I'll definitely find you a virgin." Good heavens, what was she thinking? Women are truly diverse; every one of them is different. I

'm really getting old, and I'm starting to feel afraid. Am I just going to live like this forever? What will I do when I'm old? Maybe I'll never have that kind of "most romantic thing" experience.

Seeing young people in their twenties often breaks my heart. They're recklessly squandering love and ignorance. As children of the only-child generation, I truly don't know how their parents are raising them; it's shockingly idiotic. They themselves are oblivious, thinking it's all fashionable, trendy. The future of the Chinese people is dark. However, this is beyond my control. The incident over a decade ago changed previous education methods, turning this generation into snobbish, idiotic, cold-blooded, and ruthless individuals.

Here are a few examples: A while ago, a girl from Sichuan Normal University whom I met online invited me out for drinks that night. She said all eight girls from her two dorm rooms were coming, and specifically mentioned that some were very beautiful. At first, I thought it was just a drink outing, but when I arrived, I realized the place was wrong. It was a club specifically for drug use. The girl asked me if I had connections to buy drugs. I called my cousin, and he gave me the phone number of a teammate he knew from the club. I still can't understand what these girls are thinking. They're all just casually using drugs, not even getting high. Why do they need to do this? What's so fun about this? How much money can students have? Is their parents' money really that easy to earn?

Calling them idiots might not be enough. When I called the guy, he was initially well-behaved. Later, he gave each of the girls a black, spherical pill. I didn't know what it was at the time. Later on the phone, the guy told me it was an aphrodisiac and that if I ever needed anything like this, I could just contact him for a 50% discount. The girls didn't even look at it and just popped it into their mouths. These kinds of clubs all have private rooms with restrooms. The guy I called dragged two of the girls into the restroom when they were under the influence of drugs. I don't need to elaborate on what happened after that. What's even more shocking is that just a few days later, those girls asked me to come out again. I don't use drugs. I remember when I said that, those girls looked at me like I was an alien. As if I wasn't from Earth. I really wondered if I even lived in this era.

What happened next was even more astonishing. I remember once asking, "There are more girls than boys at your school. Are the boys happy?" One of the women said, "Do you know our slogan? Our slogan is to ensure that no virgin graduates from our school." At that moment, I was speechless. What kind of world is this? I tentatively asked, "Aren't you afraid that when you get married, your husbands will care that you're not virgins anymore?" "Enjoy it while you can! What era are we living in? Who cares about that now?" "If he did, I'd kick him out." Who raised them like this? I've been debating whether to reach out my sinful hand to these girls, and before I could even figure it out, they reached out to me first. "Have you ever had a 3P or 4P? Tonight we won't go back to school, let's go to a hotel, okay?" "The three of us will play 4P with you." Although I consider myself experienced, I've never seen anything like it. As it turns out, I'm not capable of playing with three at the same time. The last time I ejaculated, it was all water and very little. That night made me not want to touch a woman for a whole month. A girl told me that several guys were pursuing her, and she planned to marry the most persistent one after graduation. If those guys knew she was this kind of woman, would they still pursue her?

A few days later, a girl called me saying she didn't want to live on campus anymore and wanted to move in with another girl. I was speechless. They all had boyfriends, and I don't know what those guys were thinking. Knowing their girlfriends were living in my house, they weren't even jealous. One day, when we went to a disco, I hugged their girlfriends in front of them and kept rubbing their butts. Those guys were just grinning from ear to ear. Thankfully, they didn't stay at my house for long, or I wouldn't have been able to live there. The only good thing about being with these female college students is that it doesn't cost much money? They're quite self-aware about this; they always split the bill, even when booking hotel rooms. Perhaps they really are just looking for thrills and enjoyment.

Many people might not believe these things, and I think I wouldn't believe it either if someone told me, but it's true. Even though I experienced it firsthand, I often feel like I'm dreaming. Chinese people are truly doomed. A while ago, I saw a post about a girl who was still a virgin when she graduated, feeling ashamed in front of her classmates. It was as if being a virgin was some kind of disgrace, so she found a boy in her class who wasn't popular with women and had him deflower her. This is unbelievable, yet I believe it's absolutely true. It's not surprising that such things happen to this generation of idiots.

At first, I was excited when another man's wife was in my arms; another man in the world was being cuckolded. But after a while, I became numb. No matter how many women I slept with, I still felt lonely. None of them truly belonged to me. What I needed was a stable and peaceful relationship, but what had I done all these years? I think I will still get married, but I won't demand her fidelity anymore, as long as she remembers we have a home and is willing to stay with me until old age. Over decades, who can guarantee they won't be tempted, won't make even the slightest mistake? It's precisely because people have feelings that it's even harder to do that.

If any man doesn't believe that women are no different from men, he can boldly try it. If you're not particularly repulsive-looking, as long as you have some money in your purse, act witty and confident, it's easy to hook up with someone. Even if you bump into a beautiful woman on the street, it's no problem at all. Also, eye contact is very important. No matter how beautiful she is, you need to make her feel embarrassed, look at her closely. Your eyes shouldn't be lewd; instead, look more confused and sincere. Try it a few times, and you'll gradually get the hang of it. As for money, you don't need a lot. At least you need to have some in your purse. Pay for meals, entertainment, and hotel rooms. Don't be afraid to refuse. If you fancy one, pester her every day, but never let her feel annoyed. You need to find the right balance. Women's hearts are actually very soft. Many women don't know how to refuse people, and women are too vain. They're happy when someone appreciates them. It's especially easy to seduce women who have been married for a year or two. It's not easy to seduce newlyweds. As for why, I don't need to explain, everyone should understand.

Three years ago, I met a woman and almost changed the course of my life for her. I think I was really wicked to the core. For the first time, I felt like my heart had been stabbed.

I picked her up at a dinner table. That year, when my family was having a birthday party at a roast duck restaurant on Zongfu Road, my mother said, "That girl is so pretty. I wish she could be my wife." After dinner, I went up to her, stared at her for a long time, and finally said, "You're so beautiful. My mom hopes you can be her daughter-in-law." She smiled faintly, and I was truly captivated. I had never seen such a beautiful woman in my life; even her smile was so beautiful. I never knew that real people could be as beautiful as in a painting. Actually, I'm not that good-looking myself; I've just been bold and have developed a strong gaze.

I asked her for her phone number, and she hesitated before handing it to me. I called her back and told her I'd treat her to dinner another day. The next day, I called her, told her I'd wait for her after work, and hung up without waiting for her reply.

At the time, I didn't even consider whether she would come, but I knew women were always curious. If you're overly attentive to her, she might ignore you; but if you constantly dominate her, everything about you becomes alluring. A former colleague gave me a nickname—Ximen Chun, meaning "the most innocent one in Ximen," though "innocent" was obviously a lie. The "Ximen" wasn't entirely due to Ximen Qing's infamous reputation; it simply meant I lived near the west gate of Chengdu, making me the most notorious woman in Ximen. Later, people said I was alluring without needing bait, so I changed my nickname to "The Temptation Without Hooks." So when she finally appeared before me, I was somewhat surprised but not entirely unexpected. Women are strange like that; once a man makes a good start, she'll seize the initiative. Without even asking my opinion, she told me to go to Ito Supermarket with her to buy groceries and then cook at her place.

I'm someone who enjoys cooking but doesn't really enjoy eating, and she praised my cooking skills. It wasn't until dinner that we introduced ourselves.
I told her about my past, my experiences. I blurted out everything, things I shouldn't have said. Men become like idiots in front of beautiful women, especially since she was so stunningly beautiful and domineering, making it hard to lie; I wanted to give her my heart. I spoke freely, and she listened intently. The feeling of tearing off the mask was so liberating. I didn't trust my friends, I didn't trust women, and I had always lived in a self-enclosed world. My heart was lonely, and it's an honor to have someone listen to your story, especially a beautiful one. She asked me if my mother really wanted her as her daughter-in-law. I said yes, it was my mother who gave me the courage to come to you. She gave me that same faint smile; I like women who smile. Even a pathetic person like me didn't have the slightest restless thought in front of her. Maybe I really was in love again, though I wasn't sure if I still had the capacity for love.
A few days later, I asked her to go to a movie with me. She asked if I liked her. I said yes. She then said, "Then why don't you even hold my hand? Everything just happened so naturally." I asked her, "I'm neither rich nor handsome, how did you fall for me?" She said it was because of my straightforward way of speaking, because I dared to look her in the eye when I spoke. Of all the men she'd met, I was the only exception. Surprising, isn't it? That could touch a woman's heart. When we actually got to know each other, I realized how good she was. She had a great job, earning more than ten times my salary, and I was far less attractive than her. But she was genuinely kind; whenever we went out, she always insisted on paying, considerately telling me to keep my money. Later, seeing my embarrassed expression, she suggested we split the bill. But the situation didn't change; she always paid when we had more money, and I paid when we had less. My colleagues said it was unfair that I met such a woman. I said, "God is fair."

Throughout this time, I controlled my impulses, genuinely respecting her and never making any unreasonable demands. Although we spent many nights together, it felt like we were back in our first love, everything was so beautiful. Three months later, she stayed out late at my house. I arranged for her to sleep in the guest room. Just as I was about to drift off, she came into my room, silently slipped under the covers, and hugged me, whispering, "Do you want me? If you do, I'll give myself to you!" I stared at her, speechless. I thought maybe I really should love her unconditionally, love this woman before me. I started kissing her, kissing every inch of her skin. I slowly removed her pajamas, caressing her. She blinked her big eyes at me. I felt a little embarrassed. She said, "Are you still shy?" I entered her body in the moonlight. She let out a soft "Ah." This was her first time. Only afterward did I see a stain on the sheets. She had kept her virginity. That night, I cried—the first time I'd ever cried in front of a woman. She said she wouldn't hold my past mistakes against me, but if I ever dared to do anything to betray her, she would absolutely, positively not forgive me.

However, everything that followed was exactly the same, and I completely lost faith.

Many people say this is revenge, but I want to clarify that it absolutely isn't. Even without me, someone else would have filled that role; it's not a matter of who hurt whom. In a society where everyone is obsessed with money, who truly respects whom? Money equals status and reputation.

I can't convince you either. Since that's the case, there's only one right thing to do: make yourself happy. Everyone's standards are different; what I consider good, you might not. Men and women are different in many ways. Many times, a woman's infidelity isn't because her man treats her badly; in some cases, he's actually very good to her. Frequent acts of kindness can make a woman feel unappreciated, taking it for granted. A hug, a kiss, a bouquet of flowers, or even a few insincere sweet words from a lover can move a woman for a long time. Men are easier to satisfy than women, and their demands on women are simpler. Women, on the other hand, are sometimes unsure of what they want. What they can't have is always the best.

I admit my topic is a bit extreme, but the content isn't.

Reality is often confusing. Many of my friends and classmates have experienced deeply moving love, but as time goes on, few can remain devoted. In long marriages, that love transforms into familial affection, more of a responsibility than love. You could say that people influence their friends, but among my friends, no matter how proper they were in school or before marriage, society is a melting pot. Aside from myself, every man I know who has been to prostitutes has done so, yet they all remain good husbands at home. The world is changing rapidly; people today not only develop physically earlier, but their thinking has also advanced.

My cousin is only 20 years old. He and his friends often go to prostitutes. According to them, prostitution is more cost-effective than finding a girlfriend, as finding a girlfriend is too expensive. This is true. Relationships in school are more or less pure, but once they enter the workforce, or are about to enter it, the standards women have for boyfriends are surprisingly consistent. At the very least, they all require the man to own a house and have a monthly income that isn't lower than a certain amount. I don't understand this. Why do women constantly demand gender equality, yet refuse to be equal in these areas? You know, in China, the wealthy are a minority, which creates men who can have several women at the same time.

I remember one of my cousin's female classmates told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. I said, "How can I? You're more than ten years younger than me." She said age wasn't a problem. She even said she liked going out and asked if I wanted to go, and if I minded if my girlfriend was taking drugs. I said I minded, and she said, "Are you worried about the health of your future children? Drugs have many harmful effects. I've met a very voluptuous girl who lost so much weight in a year and a half that her breasts were flat. Another one, even without taking drugs, now gets dizzy just from hearing music." Of course, you could say they've been taking too much, but no matter the amount, the damage to the brain and body from this stuff far exceeds that of No. 4. It's just that it's not as addictive as No. 4, and you don't need to use it every day. I asked her if she loved me. She said no. If she didn't love me, why would she be my girlfriend? Most women these days are so pragmatic; they marry for money, not for love, so cheating is inevitable.

I've seen many women making statements that shift the concept, like men think with their lower bodies while women think with their upper bodies. Men love because of sex, women have sex because of love. Is this really true? Many women today have had relationships with several men before marriage. If it were truly as they say, then these women are far too promiscuous, falling in love with a man so easily. What makes a good woman? In my opinion, only a truly good woman will love only one person for years. Men and women are actually the same, just with different focuses. A beautiful woman is always surrounded by many men; men love her for her looks. A wealthy man is similarly surrounded by many women; women love him for his money. Everyone gets what they need, but is that love?

I've lost count of how many women I've been with, not even how many virgins I've slept with. All I remember is my first time, the first person I slept with, my first one-night stand. Only after that did I seem to understand why so many men seek out virgins—because the first impression is always the most profound. Men are selfish in this respect; they always want to be unforgettable in a woman's heart for life. Many friends say they have no luck with women and ask me how to find them. I'm not a Casanova; it mainly depends on courage and experience. Not every woman can be seduced, but women with a bit of attractiveness are the easiest to seduce. Conversely, women with average looks are harder to get.

I remember my first one-night stand; I wasn't even looking for one, it was just a joke. Back then, the internet was just starting to become popular. The first time I went to a chat room, I saw an account called "Fairy Zixia." I messaged her saying I was Supreme Treasure and wanted to give her a night to remember for ten thousand years. We chatted for about five minutes, then exchanged contact information and arranged a meeting place. She was quite pretty, about 165cm tall, with a full and well-proportioned figure. I was very happy to have met such a beauty on my first meeting. We sat in a fast food restaurant for a while, and since we had some time, we went to a bar for drinks. Through our conversation, I learned that she had a steady boyfriend whom she had met two years ago. He was her first love and had brought her to this city. Because her boyfriend was often away on business trips, he was rarely home. She didn't work and spent all her time online playing games. She met me the first time she entered a chat room, and found my suggestion of a one-night stand novel, something she'd never tried before, so she agreed. I asked her if she wasn't afraid of meeting bad people. She said no. We kissed in a bar, and my hands started wandering. When we were both quite drunk, I took her to a hotel and we booked a room…

The next morning, she gave me a deep kiss and said thank you for giving her such an unforgettable night. Then

she hurriedly left me alone. Actually, it wasn't just a one-night stand; we did it again at her house. I asked her then why she wasn't afraid of me and trusted me so much. She said she felt I wasn't a bad person and wouldn't do anything harmful to her. She's a beautiful girl, a girl who knows how to enjoy life, at least sexually, she enjoys it. She described me as a clean and refreshing guy who could bring her a completely new feeling and pleasure in sex, and a very good sexual partner. I suggested we maintain this relationship, but she refused. She said that although she enjoyed being with me, she couldn't escape the guilt she felt. I'm not the clingy type, and although I still thought about her often afterward, I never contacted her again. Because of that experience, I became much bolder. Actually, my confidence increased significantly.

Looking back now, I don't feel any sweetness in my heart. What is happiness? A simple, ordinary love, someone willing to live a simple, ordinary life with you. I'm just an ordinary person, and for me, a simple life is what I desire most.

Many people say I'm immoral, but at least I've never lied to anyone, and I've never hidden my personality or what I want from anyone. I'll speak my mind. What I want is understanding, so I'll explain it to you first. Regarding the women who betrayed me in the past, I truly didn't hate them. What I can't let go of is why they betrayed me without telling me the truth. Isn't it better to be clear? Say what you think, say what you want to do, isn't that clear and straightforward?

Don't blame the openness of society for the openness of sex. The openness of society has only torn off women's veils of pretense. Why only torn off women's pretense? Because men have always been this way. (There are too many temptations in the world, which makes love fickle.) This statement is clearly an insult to love. Few things in this world last forever, and love is one of them. If you change your heart because of temptation, that's not true love. Those who have love in their hearts have the ability to resist loneliness and temptation! If you can't, then you're only loving yourself. Many women have commented on what I've written, saying that men are the same, and that there are still many good women. There's no need to argue about this. I just want to say that in reality, women's requirements for love far exceed those of men. If anyone still disagrees, they are simply afraid to face themselves. Love naturally deteriorates under too many conditions. In today's society, everyone should understand who is more at fault, men or women.

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