Use your body to keep him

My name is Lin Ling. I come from a very wealthy family. Before I turned ten, I felt like the happiest person in the world.

My parents doted on me, and my life was like that of a little princess. But I never imagined that after I turned ten, I would lose my mother forever. After I turned ten, I never called her "Mom" again.

When I was ten, my parents divorced, and my mother went to live with a foreigner. I lived with my father.

Sometimes I really hated my mother, but I couldn't bring myself to. Sometimes I really wanted to call her "Mom" again, but she was far away overseas and could never hear me. The lively me became lonely, the cheerful me became desolate.

Ten years old is an important time for a girl to transition from little girlhood to adolescence.

But at ten, I could only rely on my father.

My father was very rich, but once you get used to some things, money becomes unimportant. I just wished my mother could come back to me.

When I was eleven, my mother had been gone for a whole year, and the name "Lingling" had become unreachable. My father often left me home alone because of his business. In that sizable house, I felt no warmth or familiarity. My personality became withdrawn, and later, quite distorted.

I remember when I was almost twelve, I got my first period. I had just started junior high school. I

didn't understand anything. I only noticed my pants felt sticky, and then I realized I was bleeding.

Luckily, I was wearing dark-colored pants that day. I rushed home and cried my eyes out, thinking I had some terminal illness. My father wasn't there. I had no one to confide in.

I went to the hospital alone and learned that it was a process of a girl becoming a woman, only I had started earlier than others.

A hazy feeling, a mixture of joy and sorrow, washed over me. I was now a woman. I had grown up.

But I didn't tell my father. I

secretly went to a store. After wandering around for almost an hour, I finally mustered the courage to buy a pack of sanitary napkins. Because I didn't know much about them, I bought the really thick kind. I thought that would prevent any accidents. Haha! How ridiculous.

When I got home, I rummaged through all the old underwear my mom had left behind. I knew those cartoon and Mickey Mouse underwear were no longer suitable for me. My efforts paid off, and I finally found some, but unfortunately, they were all thin, transparent panties. I was a little shy and didn't dare wear them, but I told myself I was grown up now, and these things were perfectly suitable for me.

It's just a pity my chest was still a bit flat. My mom's C-size bras were completely too small for me. Ironically, back then I was actually quite proud of my flat chest. I always thought it was ugly for girls to have big breasts. Looking back now, it was so childish. Later I learned that a girl's breasts can be incredibly attractive to many men. Luckily, my breasts eventually developed to the size of my mom's under my constant panic. Hehe!

Since I couldn't wear them, I simply stopped wearing them. Wearing a bra always felt a little strange. Besides, I was not even 12 years old then, and wearing one was really embarrassing.

When I was bored, I liked to sit on my bed and read women's magazines. Because I wanted to grow up quickly, I wanted to understand myself and women better. I don't remember which time it was, but I think I read a story about marital sex. Suddenly, I felt a strange urge. I was already 14 years old. I was completely grown up, and sometimes I longed for a man who loved me, and to do some erotic things with him, though I didn't know what that would feel like.

Maybe I was too engrossed in thinking about it, because I touched my burning face. My legs unconsciously clamped together. I felt something gushing out from my lower body. A sweet sensation made my whole body tremble. It was only later that I learned that it was a female sexual symbol.

Since I understood sex, I've longed for a boy who loves me. I'll be shy to tell you, I even fantasized about being intimate with my middle-aged homeroom teacher. I've had crushes on

many boys and teachers at school, or rather, I wouldn't call them crushes. It was just a kind of fantasy. When I saw someone I liked, I wanted to talk to them more, and then think about marrying them and having children. Of course, I even fantasized about my own father. Am I very lewd? Hehe!

Later, I don't know when, I think it was in my third year of junior high, I met a rather shy boy. He was really good to me. His grades were excellent, while mine were a complete mess. When the teachers sometimes kept us after school, he would always stay by my side. He would help me finish my lessons for the day and then leave with me. It was around that time that I secretly fell in love with him.

Love came too fast, and developed too quickly. It was then that I realized I really didn't need my mother anymore. I treated him like family. I only felt happy when he was around. I would notice immediately if his collar wasn't straight or if there was a loose thread on his sleeve. The funniest thing I remember is that he was really clumsy. He only knew how to tie his shoelaces the simplest way. I told him how to tie a bow, but he could never learn. Later, I always tied his shoelaces for him. At that time, I felt that tying his shoelaces was the happiest thing for me.

However, I could never say that I liked him.

Finally, one day, he confessed to me first. He said: He liked me.

I felt like a little bird, lost in thought, only thinking of him, a sweet feeling filling my heart. I thought I would spend my whole life with him, but the result was...

"Xiaoling, you'll graduate from junior high soon, and we might not be in the same school." I was in a coffee shop with my first love, Chen Xiaofei.

"Will you miss me then?" I asked expectantly.

"Of course, and what about you?"

"I won't! Who would miss you? I can't wait for you to leave me." I said this on purpose, but actually I was very afraid of him leaving me. "

Really? So heartless. Women are really hard to please. Confucius saw this more than two thousand years ago." He looked very sarcastic.

"Can't you study at this school?" I asked him.

"But my dad's work here is about to end, and he plans to have me go back to school."

I didn't know what to say. I knew some things were beyond our control. Just like happiness could be lost at any time. Actually, we really hadn't grown up yet.

"I want to drink." I said.

"It's not good for girls to drink." He was a little surprised.

"No, I just want to drink, and you have to drink with me," I pleaded.

Actually, I had a ridiculous thought in my mind. I wanted to drink to embolden myself, I wanted to give him my virginity. I don't know why I had such a strong desire back then. I wanted to make love to him, I wanted to save my most precious thing as a girl for the person I loved most. I wanted to use my body to keep him at our school, to keep him from leaving me.

He was the first man I had ever been in contact with, a complete stranger.

"Okay, I'll go with you. Where do you want to go?"

I dragged him to a bar I frequented. Actually, I'd often secretly gone to bars alone to drink for years. I was thirsting for loneliness, and later, I got used to loneliness and couldn't live without alcohol. Now I have a high alcohol tolerance.

I've never been drunk.

The atmosphere in the bar was intense. It had a nice name, "Love's Blossom Bar." Why did I come here? Was it to rekindle my romance with Xiaofei? That would be so sad.

That night I drank a lot, but I didn't get drunk. But that idiot Xiaofei, he actually got drunk in the end. It was awful, he actually had to be helped home by me, a girl.

Instead of returning to the homes we each belong to, we ended up in a hotel.

I looked at Xiaofei, drunk and swaying on the bed. A sense of panic washed over me. His face was so clear, I couldn't bear to lose him. I gently stroked his face; it was burning hot. Then, I kissed him. I endured his alcohol fumes and kissed him deeply. But to my dismay, he pushed me away and vomited violently on the floor. Oh my god! I almost fainted. My first kiss was lost like this, and he didn't even know. He even vomited all over me.

I forced myself to shower, but when I came out, I forgot I had no clothes to change into. My clothes had already been washed in the bathroom. What to do?

I didn't care anymore; the idiot was practically unconscious anyway, so I'd just stay naked.

But when I came out, he was sitting on the bed like a soldier, staring intently at my naked body. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to disappear into the floor. But my legs wouldn't obey me; I couldn't move. I stared back at him.

"Lin Ling, you..." He stammered, somewhat incoherently. It was also the first time he'd seen a girl's naked body. I could clearly see a change in his genitals. I panicked. Suddenly, I realized how incredibly shy I was. I turned and ran towards the bathroom. But he wouldn't let me in. He grabbed me from behind. I tried to struggle, but I was too weak. I turned back and kissed him deeply, wanting him to know that he was the first man I'd ever kissed.

Our kiss was terrible, compounded by the lingering effects of alcohol. We soon let go. My face was burning hot, like a freshly steamed bun, just bright red. I wanted him to take further liberties with me, but this idiot just stared at me blankly.

"Can we go to bed?" I was completely defeated by him, and I had to abandon my pride.

"Mmm!" This time he knew better and carried me to the bed. I accidentally stepped on his vomit and almost fell. Then, we burst into laughter.

"Lin Ling, I love you!" he said, looking at me. Then his lips smeared all over my face in a jumbled mess.

I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. But I was also terrified. I knew that after tonight, I might no longer be a little girl. Yet, I couldn't refuse.

I shyly lowered my head, glancing at him as he hurriedly undressed. But when he got to my underwear, he hesitated. I couldn't help but chuckle; I hadn't expected him to be even more shy than me.

"Let me help you with the last thing," I offered.

"Okay!" He still stared blankly at my naked body. My underwear clearly bulged out, like an umbrella with only the top visible.

I mustered my courage, not wanting to hesitate any longer, and yanked his underwear off. Because I was shy too, I didn't want to linger in embarrassment. So it was better to hurry. So he could also be naked in front of me. Heh! His thing looked like a chili pepper pointing skyward. Stiff and erect; I wanted to look, but I didn't dare.

"Can you not just stand there like that?" I said

, looking down. I wanted to die for his clumsiness; why did he always make me lose my feminine modesty?

He gently pushed me down onto the bed. Finally, he started kissing me. After a long period of tension, most of the alcohol smell on my breath had disappeared. I pressed my still-developing breasts tightly against him. I thought he would give me a long, passionate kiss, but this idiot was as impatient as a monkey. He was determined to get straight to the point. Before I was ready, he started poking around my lower body with his erect penis. It made me feel strangely uncomfortable all over. But I didn't let him finish so quickly. I'm so bad, aren't I? Hehe! I'm going to drive him crazy. Who told him not to care about my feelings? Humph!

His hands also wandered over my small breasts. Waves of tingling sensations made me feel like I was floating on air. It felt like a lot of insects were crawling on my body. I wanted to swat him to death, but I also longed for this feeling. It was a cold day, but my whole body felt like it was on fire. My legs were tightly clamped around my genitals. I hugged him tightly; I loved the feeling of being pressed against him like this.

But he couldn't hold back anymore; it was as if his little bird wanted to return to its nest. Before I could even react, he thrust his penis into my virgin vagina.

I knew from my past experiences that a girl's first time would be painful, and I was prepared for that pain. But I never expected it to be this tearing pain. I didn't let go; instead, I held him even tighter, my fingers digging deep into the flesh of his back.

"Don't move, you're hurting me," I said, tears welling in my eyes.

But he wouldn't listen. His lower body continued to move, completely ignoring my pain. I could only hold him tightly. That made it a little easier. The initial tingling sensation disappeared completely.

I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and kept making "humming" sounds—not the sounds of orgasm,

but the sounds of my lower body being torn apart .

Thankfully, he ejaculated quickly. I wondered if he had premature ejaculation. But luckily, my pain lessened.

"Lin Ling, why are you crying?" he said, looking at me afterward.

"You idiot, you hurt me just now." I didn't want to talk to him.

"Ah! I'm sorry. I was a little excited and couldn't control myself." He apologized.

I sat up and saw a few drops of blood and some white, sticky fluid flowing out of my vagina. There were also my small, undeveloped, red breasts. I couldn't help but feel wronged. For a moment, I couldn't help but burst into tears. After all, I was only 14 years old at the time. I was really scared.

I buried my head in my knees and kept crying, and this silly goose didn't know how to comfort me. I became even sadder. When I turned my head, I was shocked to find that his thing was erect again, but this time I was really scared. I really didn't dare let his thing enter my body again. I hugged myself tightly, not wanting him to touch me. But he sat up and tried to pull me into his arms again. I cried out.

"Don't touch me."

He was probably really scared by me, and suddenly sat on the bed without moving.

"I'm sorry!" He apologized to me again.

I felt that this might be a little too much. I asked him, "Do you want more?"

He nodded, "Yes!"

"Then can I help you with my hand?" I said shyly.

He froze, speechless for a moment, probably because he was shy too. I guess his penis had never been touched before. I didn't care about his expression or anything, and just grabbed it with my hand.

"Ah!" I exclaimed again, his penis was so hot. It was like a hot dog. He blushed and grabbed the hand I was using to stroke his penis. Maybe he wasn't used to it.

"Let go, okay? Let me help you!" I just wanted to finish him as quickly as possible. I thought that way he wouldn't have any more desire.

I think I accidentally watched some porn when I was home alone before, and I know how girls give guys a handjob. I quickly shook his penis with my hand. It felt hotter and hotter. And harder and harder. I believe it was harder than a loofah. But what I didn't expect was that his second time was also very quick, only two or three minutes, and he ejaculated again. Now I really suspect that he must have premature ejaculation. He should see a doctor.

After we were done, he got dressed and went to sleep. I, on the other hand, thoroughly washed my genitals in the bathroom.

I didn't go to sleep until I was completely clean. It's a pity I didn't make him wear a condom. Luckily, I didn't get pregnant, or I would have been in big trouble.

For some reason, ever since that night, I couldn't look him in the eye whenever I saw him at school. Every time I saw him, I would think of what happened that night. And then I would feel so scared. But our interactions were still pretty much the same as before. It's just that something seemed to have changed; he never touched me again after that. Before I knew it, junior high was almost over, and he eventually went back to his father's place. I, on the other hand, stayed at the same school for high school. Later, I met Xie Mu, who opened a new chapter in my life. After that, I never contacted him again.

[The End]

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